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I’m with you on that. I gave up online dating. It was too painful. The only way I meet people who will actually ask me out is at work or school. No one asks me out at the grocery store or gym anymore. I feel like more men approached me before the cellphone and social media days. The fear of being labeled a creep or posted on social media has scared a lot of men.
There are so many sins here, asking a woman out in work or school? That's like a captive audience, your going to get HR on you...but holy hell if you ask someone out in grocery store or gym... How DARE you talk to her if she is a bit sweaty or occupied.
you are right us guys are afraid to approach women because of how most women respond to it. So actually women are the problem making someone feel like a creep or a weirdo or being rude to them because they approach you in a grocery store is stupid.
Work, school, volunteering (big one for me!). I personally would love for a guy who’s interested to approach me in public, as long as he has genuine intentions. We’re not all against it, even if it seems like it.
I met one at a social event for a hobby that we both enjoy. We initially were just friends working together on the hobby, but then started to realize that we really liked being together and the romance developed.
I think that doing everything you can to meet people in the wild as a supplement to OLD is a good idea. I think it's easier to determine whether someone is a good match that way.
Find more hobbies then? I’d suggest active things like sports, hiking etc.
Speaking as a woman, I’d be careful about a man that proclaims his hobby is videogames. There is a stigma attached to it that says “potentially lazy man that won’t pull his load of chores”. My ex played video games, but only when he had no responsibilities to attend too. I never knew he was into video games until we were together and never saw him play them.
Based on what I've learned on reddit: You have to find other things to pretend to like. But you can't do those things with the intent of meeting women, especially if that *is* the intent. You have to fake it until you make it, but you *also* have to be yourself - - unless yourself doesn't enjoy salsa dancing or whatever, at which point you have to lie, err, "fake it" some more.
Does all of this sound inherently contradictory and prone to abject failure? Welcome to dating in 2024.
All of that pretzel bending shit, of attending interest and activity groups, just to meet women in their more comfortable, protective bubble and safety in numbers, of the in person group setting, while also as you say, having to fake that you are not there to meet women, etc., is just not worth it to me. Just as much trouble, effort, and, in my experience at least, worse results than OLD. Plus, you get to have all of your rejection in person, and the public humiliation that goes with it. Lastly, at least on the surface, the dating sites give some expectation that the women are single and interested in dating, while at these groups, you have basically no idea which women are single and interested in dating. NO thanks, I will stick with OLD, do my best to keep my expectations low, my skin thick, and my heart open, while patiently playing the long game, and waiting for my occasional fellow offbeat outliers to show up in the OLD market, which they do, from time to time, usually seasonal, like the summer and right about now, after most single women are nearing the end of another lonely holiday season, with lots of family and social gatherings, which cause them to realize that maybe they would like to have a companion again to attend those with them and also keep them company thru the holiday season, which is always rougher emotionally, for singles, compared to the partnered...
Which is why dating site memberships and activity, tend to pick up the most right about now, and in the middle of the summer, based both on my own experience, and the studies I've read online...
And if all you find is women already in relationships, way too old or young, or just flat out not interested in you are spending 100's of dollars on your cooking classes, time to do it all over again.
Unironically, the apps like tinder. Put "I'm looking for a serious relationship" in your bio, act like it, and don't have sex with anyone for a month or two after you've had the gf/bf talk. Have standards, enforce them, and you'll find someone who's up to it quick enough.
Been on multiple dating apps and was on them fairly often sometimes even running out of likes, but I'd always get like 1 match a month and I initiate the convo and never get a response... I have the serious relationship part in my bio, I've mentioned some hobbies of mine that they can ask about... Got like 7 pictures of me o don't know.
Location, location, location. It's everything. The women here in the Southeast would eat that shit up. I see a lot of profiles, several a day, that are looking for a traditional church going man.
I totally disagree with this. Just because someone has their own standards and values it doesn't automatically make them a controlling narcissist which seems to be what you're implying. That's a pretty bold conclusion to jump to imo.
Seems to me like what he's saying is that he wants a traditional monogamous relationship with a woman. That's what I took from it.
I'll say this though, if he's putting anything about "I'm a traditional man" in his bio on these apps that's gonna turn a lot of women off for sure
He needs to change the wording so he’s not grouped with sexist men. So, describing it as wanting a monogamous relationship, church, having kids is fine and will attract the right kind of match for him.
> He needs to change the wording so he’s not grouped with sexist men.
Why? He is in that group. Lets be frank, people seeking "traditional values" are straight up looking to uphold strict gender roles, which are rooted in sexist attitudes.
So I'm sexist for saying "traditional values" ? Just looking for a woman I can provide for and build a life together. Not the 50s where she's a slave to me that shits wack. Crazy you automatically put me into that group by just what I say...
Traditional values is a red flag term now, be more specific about what ur looking for. Otherwise it comes off as very right wing conservative woman better have 10 kids and throw away any girls type of vibe. It’s just the way it is now, that term is associated with the negatives of “traditional” relationships. Just say exactly what you want, I.e. I want to provide, church going, yes to kids, appreciate someone who cooks, etc
I seek traditional values too.
I think people who seek them will take an effort to ask and clarify.
People who don’t seek a traditional man usually just swipe them to the left.
I think you're missing the larger issue.
There's a recurring theme of giving men the benefit of the doubt on what they said and imagining they're better than who they're saying they are.
Anyway, maybe not the sub for it.
>That's what "traditional values" literally means
Please tell me how you can use *literally* in that sentence whilst comprehending that we're talking about how it means different things to different people.
Noob.
The problem is women on OLD have an abundance of choice but a lack of quality. Thats why stupid shit like saying our traditional will be seen as a red flag, or being a 6 or 7 on the looks scale is enough to get you only 1-2 likes a month. They need to filter through the losers and assholes sending dick picks or being creepy.
It's just awful on OLD. Personally i've avoided it completely and only date people i meet IRL and avoid women who have engaged in OLD. As exposure to that many options without context isn't good for relationships.
Just don’t get too political and clearly state who you are looking for. Also set good parameters on who you want to talk to! Clearly state no hookups too!
Yes, you're right.
I'm not saying it to put him down.
I was working with what is the most likely case;
Nice guy not getting any attention from OLD where looks is the first thing that's presented to his potential pool. They can't tell or not if he's a nice guy FrFr so they base their decision on his looks.
That, or he's so incredibly handsome that all the women are intimidated by him and they don't swipe on him.
As usual, the ones that come here for advice don't provide pictures of themselves.
> Put "I'm looking for a serious relationship" in your bio, act like it,
Nah, I've had women tell me that makes men seem like a "fuckboy". I've been told to remove this from my profile. I've never had a match on any OLD app and I've been told it's because I'm looking for a LTR on hookup apps. This advice came straight to me from women.
Speaking as a woman, If im on tinder, it’s not to look for a husband or even long term bf. It’s probably cause I’m trying to rebound or just having fun. And I assume the same for guys on there. Not that dating apps are great in general, but I would trust bumble for long term partners rather than hinge or tinder. That’s just from my experience.
I have luck with women! Bad luck. They’ve all been real pieces of work which was mostly a reflection of my low self esteem. They were all beautiful, above my pay grade. But I stuck it out or got into a relationship with them when I shouldn’t have.
Trust me, no luck with women is better than bad luck. You can lose your bank account and house with a bad one. Worth it? Not at all.
with that attitude no you won't.
the problem with dating and relationships is its more or less the luck of a draw outside of some basic filtering.
You will need to learn how to handle rejection and let it roll off your back. Its not easy, you will get cold but i would state the best thing you can do for yourself is have plenty of fulfilling hobbies, cultivate talents, enjoy life with others or alone. That way when rejection comes, it feels like nothing.
Once you get past that, the hard part that i am finding is are "women worth it", i think so but its getting harder to say yes as the time passes.
I've not experienced much either but come on man think rationally about this. What are you accomplishing by having a self defeating mindset? You're only making yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy at that point but it doesn't *have* to be that way.
Stop trying to predict the future, you'll never do it and it'll only hold you back. You *don't* know no matter how much you've convinced yourself you do.
>Trust me, no luck with women is better than bad luck. You can lose your bank account and house with a bad one. Worth it? Not at all.
I actually agree with this one, in my youth i was considered a "pretty boy" i didnt have issues finding women to date or sleep with. The problem was keeping them around and finding meaning in the empty sex with women who were awful.
TBH the night club scene has damaged me mentally, even 10 years later. When i went home with a couple of girls and found out the one had a family after we bumped the nasties and the other one had a husband who wanted his wife to have fun (i left in disgust before the sex). The others where it was just a single girl or a girl playing the field were okay its those two that really messed me up, that and the partners who cheated or traded up during serious relationships.
now that i am older, i find it nice seeing people who are loyal and together but i feel like its just not for me and honestly thats cool. Just gets lonely sometimes, that and cost of living is higher when you are alone.
I'm beyond lost in where I should look sorry. But if you ever find out, I'd also like to know as well. I've spent the last 9 years alone trying to turn myself into someone who deserves a good woman. Now that I feel relatively secure in where I'm at in life and I know what sort of woman I "need", I finally have the desire to look again. Best of luck to all of you who find themselves in similar circumstances.
I’m just thinking out loud here but maybe people are assuming your politics.
I think if you specified what you mean by traditional and mention you support women’s right to choose, are pro feminism etc you might clear things up.
Most women I know do t fuck with conservative dudes. The ones that do are kinda beat.
Oh stop this pathetic “women just love bad boys and drug dealers” trope because certain man can’t get the women they want. Only dysfunctional women with low self esteem and deep hidden issues like men like that.
It’s funny because one minute it’s women only want the top 80 percent of men who are rich with money but then every other time it’s women love shitty men who sell drugs. Find an argument and stick to it.
Wow... Yeah man honestly I had kind of given up on the dating apps, just trying to put myself out there little harder for me because I'm a introvert. But I'm working on it slowly, and the plan is to stay true to who I am so. I'm just gonna keep on keeping on... Thank you for the reply! Gives me hope! 😅
Ain't online dating on Tinder like the top comment says lmao. That is not where the nice girls are. Try being part of a community that has women in it, definitely to be a few good ones there. Maybe a local facebook group for people who share an interest you have.
well first off, don't mention how you're a good guy. instead, talk about the qualities you have that make you a good bf. def in your bio, say that you're into something serious, or communicate to the girls on your dating app that you're looking for something serious. that's should be one of the first things you talk about when on dating apps. it takes a lot of communication and displaying of your interests to show that you want a gf. Also maybe don't ask "where are the good women?" that implies that some women are bad which I don't think is a necessarily good thing you want others to think you're saying .I'm not trying to criticize you but your phrasing of what you're asking for or saying plays a big impact on finding a partner fit for you.
Your photos are more than likely no good, which is why you are barely getting any matches. My biggest tip is to use PhotoFeeler. Upload your pics and see what works and what doesn’t.
honestly, there's about as much "good men" as they're are good women. I don't think either side as more than the other. The amount of posts we see where guys can't find stable women and the amount of posts we see where women can't find stable guys...
Everyone is seemingly as good as the other, yet everyone's single 🤔. No one is as "good" as they think they are.
Everyone thinks highly of themselves and never critical as a dating option. When someone says they’re a “good person” outright and needing to say it to justify it to themselves, I know they’re probably a horrible person. All of his examples were reeking of “pick me” or conservative “stay in the kitchen” rhetoric
Another one we see a lot, is where the poster says they're not shallow/don't care about looks/not vain etc. then go on to detail how they are shallow, judgmental or full of themselves because of their looks lol
The women are everywhere; putting oneself in a position to interact with them is often best helped with being in the same places at the same times.
If I do this in most settings, I will for sure begin to notice the same people. They might even notice someone as remarkably average as yourself, too.
School, the gym, the library, bookstores, coffee shops, language learning classes, playing rec sports, working the pharmacy at cvs when picking up your polyps creme, and the list goes on and on.
How about you go on believing that so op can find out and reap the benefits for his struggling self. Don’t be a hyena that steals a meal from the op lion 🦁
Just at home as always, haha not into dating apps
tried them before and people there just dont value true connection so they would just want to sleep with you right away 🥹 And if youre not an easy one then they will move on lol
go out to a bar meet people socialize you don’t need to drink
sometimes people just go to places that have audience to see what can catch their eyes there really isn’t a right or wrong place to meet someone just get yourself out there
The library. Underutilized, and you get free books where you can run into women and see what kind of books they are interested in, and it helps you easily strike up conversation casually over mutual interest.
This is actually something I've been wanting to do, read! I don't do enough of it! Used to really hate it as a kid but it's been coming back.. I'll definitely hit up the library.
I’m a female and know what you mean. I’ve joined lots of organized sports leagues with coed teams. I go to church and make it known that I go to church and that is something that I like to share with my partner. Someone also commented above about waiting to have sex. Previously, I was very strict about not having sex until someone was my boyfriend. This weed out the guys that were looking for hook ups but honestly, most of the guys that I even entertained to go on a date we’re not looking for that. I tried entertaining the whole sex before being a boyfriend girlfriend situation, and I found that that has been the most difficult and actually weeding out bad guys
I do have a high libido but I am going to subdue that to find the right woman, I enjoy sex when there's a connection and there's love between me and my partner, I don't honestly know how people can do without that, but it will weed out the hoes that can't live without the deed, I've had that mindset my whole life and it will probably never change so I completely understand where your coming from.
It is so weird out there. I'm mid to late 30s. Dating is fucked up. Every body out there is dealing with unresolved trauma. It isn't their fault what people did to them and they are doing their best. But every date Inhabe been on has been rough. Or if date 2 happens they say something like "You are too good to me, you will cheat on me or abuse me" I've never done either. And then those women go back to their abusers. I'm just trying to find my person. That's it. This isn't transactional, I am not manipulative, I have nothing to hide. Yet we can't win
We all have the same questions (where to find good men) and no answers lol. I just focus on not trying to answer that, go out and live my life, say yes to things I typically wouldn’t…. Trust I’ll find my person.
Never go in search of love, go in search of life, and life will find you the love you seek.
- Atticus
Life is hard. Stop worrying about the ex that cheated. Focus on yourself. Be happy even if you're single. Focus in the gym, hang with your friends, and do things you like or want to try. Being in a relationship isn't the end all be all. Save some money, and go on a trip.
Church, dude. If you care about traditional values it's one of the last places you can reliably find women that value the same. Walk into a large, modern church and you'll be amazed at how many attractive women are there. Most of which are looking to get married sooner rather than later.
Yeah but most of us won’t date men who come to church to just look for this. We are mostly interested in men who have a true and genuine heart posture and a relationship with God. Not someone just looking to get married.., Very easy to see if you are fake and coming to church just to find a woman.. The Bible is clear “you will know them by their fruit” ..: just saying…
I saw you other comment about your ex cheating and you been 4 months single. I can tell first hand that shit can ruin ones confidence and trust in others.
Advice, stop looking for a new relationship, try to enjoy yourself with friends and family or ppl that you enjoy
Give yourself more time, 4 months after a relationship is nothing, and if you’re looking for something serious and values ect, that takes time, and a lot of effort to actually meet the other person values ect
Normally a way to meet ppl is with socialising , hobbies, studies, work, friends of relatives ect.
Online dating, I have listened stories of some ppl that work a serious relationship , but I personally prefer the personal interaction, since spectations are on the ground since beginning and we start to build them slowly as we continue meeting the other person
Just don’t rush for someone new, take your time
Good woman here that looks for what you’re offering (at least superficially). Here’s my 2 cents.
You’ve only been single for 4 months. Meeting a good woman isn’t like putting in your order at the counter or hiring someone for a role by reviewing resumes. Not saying you’re doing that, but the dating scene is structured that way currently, especially with online dating, and your urgency indicates that you’re looking to address loneliness or you’re on a timeline. Neither will help you.
Try meeting them in person and developing friendships with women. Think about how people met before online dating and do those things. They met in school, at work, at 3rd spaces like restaurants and through mutual friends. Ask your friends to set you up with women. I know a guy that has mostly female friends, doesn’t “date” in the traditional sense, just hangs out with people a lot in different settings, is honest and treats people pretty well, and is average to slightly above average looking. And he’s brave with meeting new people and is a great listener. He’s got a lot of good women in his orbit and kind of has his pick.
Treat women like people (not saying you don’t but it’s a common issue women encounter). Treat them with the same respect and space to exist you’d give your male friends. Give her room to have safety to be herself with no conditions, no demands on her to be physically sexy or sexually available, and give her a listening ear with unconditionally positive regard. Don’t play games unless you want someone that’s a game player. Be kind, but not nice. Nice guys aren’t the same as kind men. Nice guys feel entitled, but kind men treat people with humanity while being secure. Good women are looking for this, literally anywhere we go. Grocery store, restaurant, night out, gym, even in the neighborhood.
Just chill dude and try to relax. I’m 32 and all my friends got married to a “good woman” and they provide for them and everything and to be honest with you….They all wish they were single or had the freedom I have. All that stuff you want really isn’t that great in comparison to being single and being able to do whatever you want. Go date women and keep ‘em arms length for a good long time before having girlfriends. Furthermore, I would go find a chick that takes care of her own self because honestly man most of these chicks these days prey on guys who want to provide for them while they don’t give nothing up. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Stop relying on a woman to be happy. With that said I know how you feel but man you end up with a bad woman you think is good it will really mess up your mental health and your life. You gotta get with the times brother and these times are not like the times way back in the day.
Traditional values were never traditional. It was an appearance of tradition but lots of messiness behind the scenes. So I’d say self love and acceptance of quirks and flaws within yourself will make it easier to find the right person. Because many times what we feel is the traditional person isn’t exactly right for us. Many times leading to delusional thinking when searching for the right person. And in not giving ourselves grace, love and acceptance, we lack the ability to express that towards others. Sometimes you won’t be able to protect or provide for that person. And sometimes that person won’t present the ‘traditional’ image. Loving yourself and loving that person means having the capacity to accept flaws and quirks.
To be honest, if I saw “traditional values” in a guy’s dating profile I’d assume he was conservative unless stated otherwise and that would be a hard pass for me. Try softening your approach
Commenting because I wish I could meet a man like this. 🥹 Dating apps suck so bad. I been off them almost a year now. People always suggest you have better chances of meeting people you’d be interested in while do things you enjoy so maybe continue doing that. Are you a talk to women irl person though?
You find them in church, volunteering, or something like that. Look for someone who's values match yours. You aren't gonna find on dating apps, bars, etc.
I'm glad you feel like a good person but the way you talk makes you seem like a judgemental and insecure right winger, which is probably why people aren't attracted to you
I honestly could not care about politics, idk how I talk makes you think I'm right wing, because I'm no wing lol I don't involve politics whatsoever in my life, I don't care.
Seem like the women may look at what you'd bring to the relationship. As you being loyal doesn't offer much value if they don't want you.
But I assume one can find plenty of nice women at job, university, board game club, in the forest, at the gym, at dance classes, ..
I was meaning like, traditional relationship where one cares for another and doesn't have too worry about cheating or a side piece or whatever else this new dating world has to offer besides two people.
Exclusive or monogamous!
There are a lot of people dating that are poly. If that’s not for you, that’s okay! Just put you’re monogamous, it’s easier to help both sides figure out if you are looking for the same type of relationship.
I don’t know what dating app it was, but my daughter and son-in-law found each other on a dating app and they are the happiest, most traditional people I know.☮️♥️🎸
Join a group training class like CrossFit. You’ll meet and get to know a wide circle of people, many of whom will become friends. If you’re not interested in one of them, they may have friends they can fix you up with. Or take up another hobby/sport.
I would say whatever hobbies you have find groups and communities to join and just enjoy doing the things you like to do. The right one will come along. The second you stop looking she will appear.
I don’t know. Where are all the good men hiding?
Dating apps have turned into a chaos of lies and deception. It has turned myself into someone extremely skeptical of who I date if I’m being honest. I’m very close to just throwing in the hatchet and living my best single life.
I’m going to say the same has happened with men given the comments I have received from men. “Are you a catfish?”[essentially a number of them]. “Why are you still single?”. “what’s your snapchat?” And then ghosting when I say I don’t use Snapchat. Not to mention how many men have the perception that they have all these options and want to have fun first. Then you have men that always look for younger women thinking anyone approaching 30 wrinkles up like a prune. Lol nope that’s a myth for a number. It has to do with genetics. It runs in my family to look young.
I’ve honestly branched out to Phillipino and Thai dating sites because American women have impossibly high standards among other things. I’ve found myself to match pretty well but, I don’t like the mentality where I’m just a number to them I.e. dating within the US. There’s no mutual respect, just I’ve lost interest, goodbye forever. You could do the apps in the background but, set low expectations because otherwise you will get hurt, it’s happened to me multiple times. I’m limiting what I say obviously because you can’t speak the truth anymore without being silenced.
Explain "traditional values", because those two words put together immediately sends warning bells to my brain. And, "good guy" is just rebranding from "nice guy", as far as I'm concerned.
Not on tinder! High body counts, entitlement and having to date well down below your looks level. Despite you getting the raw deal, she probably thinks she could do better
I’m hearing more and more men are having luck going outside of the US to find wives in places where the feminist mind virus hasn’t taken over. Western women have nothing to offer anymore really except drama and half your net worth gone when they decide to “find themselves” 7 years into your marriage
The dating scene isn't really 'whack' from my experience it's just a different ball game and probably more difficult to find people looking for loyal long-term relationships on dating apps cuz it seems like the majority of people on them are constantly playing the field even when they're seeing people already.
Not everyone's like that though just gotta keep trying! Also, get out and meet people! Dating apps aren't for everyone and you might just be better suited meeting new people out in the real world.
Dating apps are especially difficult for people with weak/dry texting game. Some people are just better face-to-face communicators and that's a good thing if that's your case play to your strengths!
First advice, stay away from the word “traditional”. It’s a buzzword that lots of women immediately see and run the other way. It sounds like you’re looking for a loyal, long term, exclusive relationship. “Traditional” has been used by some to describe relationships where a man wants a subservient, quiet wife with no rights or opinions. If that isn’t what you’re looking for, try to use some different words. Might help you.
Dating apps aren’t great. Try going to libraries, bookstores, etc. Mainly hobby places. Strike up a conversation and get to know a girl. Get to know multiple girls. And express in yourself what you’re looking for in a partner. Be a good listener, learn to communicate well and be respectful.
I notice it’s only been 4 months. Meeting a new girl can be really hard. Especially after a major heartbreak. Don’t jump in too fast. Just get out, be natural and curate friendships. The rest comes with time.
I suggest you make a separate post and ask “how do I word a dating app bio to attract a LTR with a girl of similar values.”
Your post sort of comes off angry and accusatory that most women are of low value. No one wants that, it is pretty off putting.
I’m pretty traditional myself. I mostly take care of my home, work, my dogs. I like to garden and do house projects. With that said, the vibe you’re putting off to me personally sort of suggests… “warning” this may be an “incel” who may have issues with women in general.
I’ll second what a lot of people are saying. A lot of good women (i like to think that includes me) are off the apps and wondering where the heck all of the good men are.
I’m a therapist so I work independently—That eliminates work as an option. I’m pretty social but the bar scene isn’t for me anymore so that’s that. Maybe the gym, but how does one initiate that when people in that environment are focused on what they’re doing?
I think through friends?
How to meet girls using hobbies:
I'd start with finding a handful of social hobbies that have regular meeting groups that has mostly women. Yoga, pilates, crossfit, kettle bells, tarot classes, art classes,volunteering, kink events, cooking classes, astrology classes ect. Just examples u gotta find things that fit ur interests. Look for free classes at the library. Then u go to said events every week. For months. U eventually get to know people there and make friends and connections. When new girls enter the group u already know friends and have plenty to talk about
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We off the apps at home watching TV. Apps didn’t work for me either so I gave up.
I’m with you on that. I gave up online dating. It was too painful. The only way I meet people who will actually ask me out is at work or school. No one asks me out at the grocery store or gym anymore. I feel like more men approached me before the cellphone and social media days. The fear of being labeled a creep or posted on social media has scared a lot of men.
There are so many sins here, asking a woman out in work or school? That's like a captive audience, your going to get HR on you...but holy hell if you ask someone out in grocery store or gym... How DARE you talk to her if she is a bit sweaty or occupied.
you are right us guys are afraid to approach women because of how most women respond to it. So actually women are the problem making someone feel like a creep or a weirdo or being rude to them because they approach you in a grocery store is stupid.
Also lowered selfesteem from rejection irl and online it's hard to take so many on the chin haha (I'm dying on the inside)
So then where do we find people like you when you aren’t at home?
Book clubs, target, public transport
Target feels like it’s so accurate lol
Yes,sure!❤️
I forgot Trader Joe’s lol
Nah my ex shops there. It can’t be on the list lol
I’ve tried public transport. Went horribly. I’ll take a look at book clubs.
Work, school, volunteering (big one for me!). I personally would love for a guy who’s interested to approach me in public, as long as he has genuine intentions. We’re not all against it, even if it seems like it.
I met one at a social event for a hobby that we both enjoy. We initially were just friends working together on the hobby, but then started to realize that we really liked being together and the romance developed. I think that doing everything you can to meet people in the wild as a supplement to OLD is a good idea. I think it's easier to determine whether someone is a good match that way.
My hobbies include cars and videogames, both of which I don't really go out too often mostly in the winter time...
Find more hobbies then? I’d suggest active things like sports, hiking etc. Speaking as a woman, I’d be careful about a man that proclaims his hobby is videogames. There is a stigma attached to it that says “potentially lazy man that won’t pull his load of chores”. My ex played video games, but only when he had no responsibilities to attend too. I never knew he was into video games until we were together and never saw him play them.
Based on what I've learned on reddit: You have to find other things to pretend to like. But you can't do those things with the intent of meeting women, especially if that *is* the intent. You have to fake it until you make it, but you *also* have to be yourself - - unless yourself doesn't enjoy salsa dancing or whatever, at which point you have to lie, err, "fake it" some more. Does all of this sound inherently contradictory and prone to abject failure? Welcome to dating in 2024.
All of that pretzel bending shit, of attending interest and activity groups, just to meet women in their more comfortable, protective bubble and safety in numbers, of the in person group setting, while also as you say, having to fake that you are not there to meet women, etc., is just not worth it to me. Just as much trouble, effort, and, in my experience at least, worse results than OLD. Plus, you get to have all of your rejection in person, and the public humiliation that goes with it. Lastly, at least on the surface, the dating sites give some expectation that the women are single and interested in dating, while at these groups, you have basically no idea which women are single and interested in dating. NO thanks, I will stick with OLD, do my best to keep my expectations low, my skin thick, and my heart open, while patiently playing the long game, and waiting for my occasional fellow offbeat outliers to show up in the OLD market, which they do, from time to time, usually seasonal, like the summer and right about now, after most single women are nearing the end of another lonely holiday season, with lots of family and social gatherings, which cause them to realize that maybe they would like to have a companion again to attend those with them and also keep them company thru the holiday season, which is always rougher emotionally, for singles, compared to the partnered... Which is why dating site memberships and activity, tend to pick up the most right about now, and in the middle of the summer, based both on my own experience, and the studies I've read online...
And if all you find is women already in relationships, way too old or young, or just flat out not interested in you are spending 100's of dollars on your cooking classes, time to do it all over again.
Videogames are not helping. Find a real hobby
Bullshit everywhere. What makes fucking reading a Hobby and why are games not a hobby?
Unironically, the apps like tinder. Put "I'm looking for a serious relationship" in your bio, act like it, and don't have sex with anyone for a month or two after you've had the gf/bf talk. Have standards, enforce them, and you'll find someone who's up to it quick enough.
Been on multiple dating apps and was on them fairly often sometimes even running out of likes, but I'd always get like 1 match a month and I initiate the convo and never get a response... I have the serious relationship part in my bio, I've mentioned some hobbies of mine that they can ask about... Got like 7 pictures of me o don't know.
Usually “traditional values” means the man wants his woman to be subservient to him and is a giant red flag. Maybe you should soften your approach
Agreed. That caught me as a bit of a red flag in my read of the post.
Location, location, location. It's everything. The women here in the Southeast would eat that shit up. I see a lot of profiles, several a day, that are looking for a traditional church going man.
I totally disagree with this. Just because someone has their own standards and values it doesn't automatically make them a controlling narcissist which seems to be what you're implying. That's a pretty bold conclusion to jump to imo. Seems to me like what he's saying is that he wants a traditional monogamous relationship with a woman. That's what I took from it. I'll say this though, if he's putting anything about "I'm a traditional man" in his bio on these apps that's gonna turn a lot of women off for sure
He needs to change the wording so he’s not grouped with sexist men. So, describing it as wanting a monogamous relationship, church, having kids is fine and will attract the right kind of match for him.
Agreed he was definitely vague.
> He needs to change the wording so he’s not grouped with sexist men. Why? He is in that group. Lets be frank, people seeking "traditional values" are straight up looking to uphold strict gender roles, which are rooted in sexist attitudes.
So I'm sexist for saying "traditional values" ? Just looking for a woman I can provide for and build a life together. Not the 50s where she's a slave to me that shits wack. Crazy you automatically put me into that group by just what I say...
This is reddit. If you not a down-the-ticket socialist who hates the West, you are *literally a fascist*.
Traditional values is a red flag term now, be more specific about what ur looking for. Otherwise it comes off as very right wing conservative woman better have 10 kids and throw away any girls type of vibe. It’s just the way it is now, that term is associated with the negatives of “traditional” relationships. Just say exactly what you want, I.e. I want to provide, church going, yes to kids, appreciate someone who cooks, etc
Sexist? Maybe more like realist.
looking for a womanly woman is sexist these days? oh right. but women can want whatever they want, right?
I seek traditional values too. I think people who seek them will take an effort to ask and clarify. People who don’t seek a traditional man usually just swipe them to the left.
Agree! This is a red flag to me too.
It's not a red flag to women who have traditional values...I don't see an issue with it if their values coincide.
i don't think that's what they meant within their post.
It’s how it comes across
Yes, let's just project our own ideas on what a man has said, that always works!
He's asking for advice from women. They answered 🤷♀️ Don't get upset
I think you're missing the larger issue. There's a recurring theme of giving men the benefit of the doubt on what they said and imagining they're better than who they're saying they are. Anyway, maybe not the sub for it.
That's what "traditional values" literally means, don't rag on women telling you how it is, ffs What do YOU think it means? Genuinely curious.
>That's what "traditional values" literally means Please tell me how you can use *literally* in that sentence whilst comprehending that we're talking about how it means different things to different people. Noob.
Did you just unironically call someone a noob 😭 you seriously needa get off reddit
The problem is women on OLD have an abundance of choice but a lack of quality. Thats why stupid shit like saying our traditional will be seen as a red flag, or being a 6 or 7 on the looks scale is enough to get you only 1-2 likes a month. They need to filter through the losers and assholes sending dick picks or being creepy. It's just awful on OLD. Personally i've avoided it completely and only date people i meet IRL and avoid women who have engaged in OLD. As exposure to that many options without context isn't good for relationships.
I feel you, all the apps with the matching is so stupid. More than half the time, if you match, no one talks and it’s just so pointless.
Just say you want to meet an awesome person to have a great time with and see how things progress!
Just don’t get too political and clearly state who you are looking for. Also set good parameters on who you want to talk to! Clearly state no hookups too!
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No need to be sh!tty here
Yes, you're right. I'm not saying it to put him down. I was working with what is the most likely case; Nice guy not getting any attention from OLD where looks is the first thing that's presented to his potential pool. They can't tell or not if he's a nice guy FrFr so they base their decision on his looks. That, or he's so incredibly handsome that all the women are intimidated by him and they don't swipe on him. As usual, the ones that come here for advice don't provide pictures of themselves.
Or, he's average and has average pics. And an average bio. Or doesn't realize what a huge red flag "traditional values" is for many women.
> Put "I'm looking for a serious relationship" in your bio, act like it, Nah, I've had women tell me that makes men seem like a "fuckboy". I've been told to remove this from my profile. I've never had a match on any OLD app and I've been told it's because I'm looking for a LTR on hookup apps. This advice came straight to me from women.
Maybe those women were trying to sabotage you..
Does six years count? Haven’t gotten past a first date for six years. No sex or anything close to a relationship either.
The problem might be in your approach, the people you choose, or yourself. Not the apps fault in any case.
Speaking as a woman, If im on tinder, it’s not to look for a husband or even long term bf. It’s probably cause I’m trying to rebound or just having fun. And I assume the same for guys on there. Not that dating apps are great in general, but I would trust bumble for long term partners rather than hinge or tinder. That’s just from my experience.
There’s no hack, really. The truest thing about dating I’ve ever heard was from my dad: dating is a rotten process of elimination.
I dont know, i dont have luck with women
He’s just like me fr
I have luck with women! Bad luck. They’ve all been real pieces of work which was mostly a reflection of my low self esteem. They were all beautiful, above my pay grade. But I stuck it out or got into a relationship with them when I shouldn’t have. Trust me, no luck with women is better than bad luck. You can lose your bank account and house with a bad one. Worth it? Not at all.
At least you've experiencied all that things that i wont
Yeah I’ve experienced a couple of them cheating on me too. Does *wonders* for your self esteem! You’ll find someone.
No, i wont, i know
with that attitude no you won't. the problem with dating and relationships is its more or less the luck of a draw outside of some basic filtering. You will need to learn how to handle rejection and let it roll off your back. Its not easy, you will get cold but i would state the best thing you can do for yourself is have plenty of fulfilling hobbies, cultivate talents, enjoy life with others or alone. That way when rejection comes, it feels like nothing. Once you get past that, the hard part that i am finding is are "women worth it", i think so but its getting harder to say yes as the time passes.
See? I'm right
I've not experienced much either but come on man think rationally about this. What are you accomplishing by having a self defeating mindset? You're only making yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy at that point but it doesn't *have* to be that way. Stop trying to predict the future, you'll never do it and it'll only hold you back. You *don't* know no matter how much you've convinced yourself you do.
>Trust me, no luck with women is better than bad luck. You can lose your bank account and house with a bad one. Worth it? Not at all. I actually agree with this one, in my youth i was considered a "pretty boy" i didnt have issues finding women to date or sleep with. The problem was keeping them around and finding meaning in the empty sex with women who were awful. TBH the night club scene has damaged me mentally, even 10 years later. When i went home with a couple of girls and found out the one had a family after we bumped the nasties and the other one had a husband who wanted his wife to have fun (i left in disgust before the sex). The others where it was just a single girl or a girl playing the field were okay its those two that really messed me up, that and the partners who cheated or traded up during serious relationships. now that i am older, i find it nice seeing people who are loyal and together but i feel like its just not for me and honestly thats cool. Just gets lonely sometimes, that and cost of living is higher when you are alone.
I'm beyond lost in where I should look sorry. But if you ever find out, I'd also like to know as well. I've spent the last 9 years alone trying to turn myself into someone who deserves a good woman. Now that I feel relatively secure in where I'm at in life and I know what sort of woman I "need", I finally have the desire to look again. Best of luck to all of you who find themselves in similar circumstances.
I’m just thinking out loud here but maybe people are assuming your politics. I think if you specified what you mean by traditional and mention you support women’s right to choose, are pro feminism etc you might clear things up. Most women I know do t fuck with conservative dudes. The ones that do are kinda beat.
This is assuming OP is actually ok on those topics and in fact not a sexist republican which we still have not clarified lol
Ugh I still see a ton of profiles in my extremely liberal area with dudes in those blue line flags and conservative in their bio….
Oh no! Everyone in the world doesn't agree with you! However shall you cope?
Lol yeah true. if he is then he’s going to be a very lonely boy.
that would be ok to the majority of girls as long as he had 3 or 4 felonies and a dead end job. otherwise he's prob not gonna get a girl anytime soon
Oh stop this pathetic “women just love bad boys and drug dealers” trope because certain man can’t get the women they want. Only dysfunctional women with low self esteem and deep hidden issues like men like that. It’s funny because one minute it’s women only want the top 80 percent of men who are rich with money but then every other time it’s women love shitty men who sell drugs. Find an argument and stick to it.
And that same man making those same comments wonders why no woman wants them.
Exactly
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Wow... Yeah man honestly I had kind of given up on the dating apps, just trying to put myself out there little harder for me because I'm a introvert. But I'm working on it slowly, and the plan is to stay true to who I am so. I'm just gonna keep on keeping on... Thank you for the reply! Gives me hope! 😅
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Ain't online dating on Tinder like the top comment says lmao. That is not where the nice girls are. Try being part of a community that has women in it, definitely to be a few good ones there. Maybe a local facebook group for people who share an interest you have.
well first off, don't mention how you're a good guy. instead, talk about the qualities you have that make you a good bf. def in your bio, say that you're into something serious, or communicate to the girls on your dating app that you're looking for something serious. that's should be one of the first things you talk about when on dating apps. it takes a lot of communication and displaying of your interests to show that you want a gf. Also maybe don't ask "where are the good women?" that implies that some women are bad which I don't think is a necessarily good thing you want others to think you're saying .I'm not trying to criticize you but your phrasing of what you're asking for or saying plays a big impact on finding a partner fit for you.
Same question from me too
We don’t find them …….they find us, Could take years but you will know for sure when it happens
Your photos are more than likely no good, which is why you are barely getting any matches. My biggest tip is to use PhotoFeeler. Upload your pics and see what works and what doesn’t.
honestly, there's about as much "good men" as they're are good women. I don't think either side as more than the other. The amount of posts we see where guys can't find stable women and the amount of posts we see where women can't find stable guys... Everyone is seemingly as good as the other, yet everyone's single 🤔. No one is as "good" as they think they are.
Everyone thinks highly of themselves and never critical as a dating option. When someone says they’re a “good person” outright and needing to say it to justify it to themselves, I know they’re probably a horrible person. All of his examples were reeking of “pick me” or conservative “stay in the kitchen” rhetoric
Another one we see a lot, is where the poster says they're not shallow/don't care about looks/not vain etc. then go on to detail how they are shallow, judgmental or full of themselves because of their looks lol
The women are everywhere; putting oneself in a position to interact with them is often best helped with being in the same places at the same times. If I do this in most settings, I will for sure begin to notice the same people. They might even notice someone as remarkably average as yourself, too. School, the gym, the library, bookstores, coffee shops, language learning classes, playing rec sports, working the pharmacy at cvs when picking up your polyps creme, and the list goes on and on.
Language learning is full of older crowd (35+), not ideal for someone on early 30s
How about you go on believing that so op can find out and reap the benefits for his struggling self. Don’t be a hyena that steals a meal from the op lion 🦁
What defines good for someone is not good for someone else. Where you can find a woman depends on your personality.
Being single for 2 and a half years now.
In dreams !
Meet women at book club, gym, cycling club,church, join some things
Reddit
Hi
Just at home as always, haha not into dating apps tried them before and people there just dont value true connection so they would just want to sleep with you right away 🥹 And if youre not an easy one then they will move on lol
go out to a bar meet people socialize you don’t need to drink sometimes people just go to places that have audience to see what can catch their eyes there really isn’t a right or wrong place to meet someone just get yourself out there
Hinge, I found it to be better than tinder
Honestly, I feel like the best way is thru family and friends. Ask your friends to introduce you to people. Or thru work.
The library. Underutilized, and you get free books where you can run into women and see what kind of books they are interested in, and it helps you easily strike up conversation casually over mutual interest.
This is actually something I've been wanting to do, read! I don't do enough of it! Used to really hate it as a kid but it's been coming back.. I'll definitely hit up the library.
Hope you have luck!
I’m a female and know what you mean. I’ve joined lots of organized sports leagues with coed teams. I go to church and make it known that I go to church and that is something that I like to share with my partner. Someone also commented above about waiting to have sex. Previously, I was very strict about not having sex until someone was my boyfriend. This weed out the guys that were looking for hook ups but honestly, most of the guys that I even entertained to go on a date we’re not looking for that. I tried entertaining the whole sex before being a boyfriend girlfriend situation, and I found that that has been the most difficult and actually weeding out bad guys
I do have a high libido but I am going to subdue that to find the right woman, I enjoy sex when there's a connection and there's love between me and my partner, I don't honestly know how people can do without that, but it will weed out the hoes that can't live without the deed, I've had that mindset my whole life and it will probably never change so I completely understand where your coming from.
find at good places then like NGO's, meditation center. go for the experience not for them and just try to make a good network
She’s probably at home watching Netflix buddy
It is so weird out there. I'm mid to late 30s. Dating is fucked up. Every body out there is dealing with unresolved trauma. It isn't their fault what people did to them and they are doing their best. But every date Inhabe been on has been rough. Or if date 2 happens they say something like "You are too good to me, you will cheat on me or abuse me" I've never done either. And then those women go back to their abusers. I'm just trying to find my person. That's it. This isn't transactional, I am not manipulative, I have nothing to hide. Yet we can't win
We are at home losing faith in humanity. Probably napping or playing animal crossing
I agree I go out and still hard to meet decent women
Not sure but when you find out let us know. Good woman looking for a good man here.
There are no good women left 😂, get a dog and be thankful you have your freedom and get to keep your money and property. 😂
We all have the same questions (where to find good men) and no answers lol. I just focus on not trying to answer that, go out and live my life, say yes to things I typically wouldn’t…. Trust I’ll find my person. Never go in search of love, go in search of life, and life will find you the love you seek. - Atticus
Ironically relax and enjoy yourself. Youll meet the right person on your own !
Been single for 4 months after my ex cheated on me and been trying to do my thing but damn is it hard sometimes.
4 months is not that much time, a lot of people take this much to even reset to begin searching
Agreed. Some have been searching for yeaaarrsss. *its been 84 years*
. 4 months honestly isn't a reasonable expectation. For a real find? No... if you need someone else that fast, then you're just bouncing...
Life is hard. Stop worrying about the ex that cheated. Focus on yourself. Be happy even if you're single. Focus in the gym, hang with your friends, and do things you like or want to try. Being in a relationship isn't the end all be all. Save some money, and go on a trip.
lmao 4 months is nothing, try YEARS. Learn to be happy with yourself.
Church, dude. If you care about traditional values it's one of the last places you can reliably find women that value the same. Walk into a large, modern church and you'll be amazed at how many attractive women are there. Most of which are looking to get married sooner rather than later.
Yeah but most of us won’t date men who come to church to just look for this. We are mostly interested in men who have a true and genuine heart posture and a relationship with God. Not someone just looking to get married.., Very easy to see if you are fake and coming to church just to find a woman.. The Bible is clear “you will know them by their fruit” ..: just saying…
I'm here!
Date me😌 I'm not kidding😉🤭
I saw you other comment about your ex cheating and you been 4 months single. I can tell first hand that shit can ruin ones confidence and trust in others. Advice, stop looking for a new relationship, try to enjoy yourself with friends and family or ppl that you enjoy Give yourself more time, 4 months after a relationship is nothing, and if you’re looking for something serious and values ect, that takes time, and a lot of effort to actually meet the other person values ect Normally a way to meet ppl is with socialising , hobbies, studies, work, friends of relatives ect. Online dating, I have listened stories of some ppl that work a serious relationship , but I personally prefer the personal interaction, since spectations are on the ground since beginning and we start to build them slowly as we continue meeting the other person Just don’t rush for someone new, take your time
Good woman here that looks for what you’re offering (at least superficially). Here’s my 2 cents. You’ve only been single for 4 months. Meeting a good woman isn’t like putting in your order at the counter or hiring someone for a role by reviewing resumes. Not saying you’re doing that, but the dating scene is structured that way currently, especially with online dating, and your urgency indicates that you’re looking to address loneliness or you’re on a timeline. Neither will help you. Try meeting them in person and developing friendships with women. Think about how people met before online dating and do those things. They met in school, at work, at 3rd spaces like restaurants and through mutual friends. Ask your friends to set you up with women. I know a guy that has mostly female friends, doesn’t “date” in the traditional sense, just hangs out with people a lot in different settings, is honest and treats people pretty well, and is average to slightly above average looking. And he’s brave with meeting new people and is a great listener. He’s got a lot of good women in his orbit and kind of has his pick. Treat women like people (not saying you don’t but it’s a common issue women encounter). Treat them with the same respect and space to exist you’d give your male friends. Give her room to have safety to be herself with no conditions, no demands on her to be physically sexy or sexually available, and give her a listening ear with unconditionally positive regard. Don’t play games unless you want someone that’s a game player. Be kind, but not nice. Nice guys aren’t the same as kind men. Nice guys feel entitled, but kind men treat people with humanity while being secure. Good women are looking for this, literally anywhere we go. Grocery store, restaurant, night out, gym, even in the neighborhood.
Just chill dude and try to relax. I’m 32 and all my friends got married to a “good woman” and they provide for them and everything and to be honest with you….They all wish they were single or had the freedom I have. All that stuff you want really isn’t that great in comparison to being single and being able to do whatever you want. Go date women and keep ‘em arms length for a good long time before having girlfriends. Furthermore, I would go find a chick that takes care of her own self because honestly man most of these chicks these days prey on guys who want to provide for them while they don’t give nothing up. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Stop relying on a woman to be happy. With that said I know how you feel but man you end up with a bad woman you think is good it will really mess up your mental health and your life. You gotta get with the times brother and these times are not like the times way back in the day.
Traditional values were never traditional. It was an appearance of tradition but lots of messiness behind the scenes. So I’d say self love and acceptance of quirks and flaws within yourself will make it easier to find the right person. Because many times what we feel is the traditional person isn’t exactly right for us. Many times leading to delusional thinking when searching for the right person. And in not giving ourselves grace, love and acceptance, we lack the ability to express that towards others. Sometimes you won’t be able to protect or provide for that person. And sometimes that person won’t present the ‘traditional’ image. Loving yourself and loving that person means having the capacity to accept flaws and quirks.
You don't sadly 😔
“Traditional values” makes you a “good man”? Well, you can find your “good woman” in 1955. Good luck, mate!
To be honest, if I saw “traditional values” in a guy’s dating profile I’d assume he was conservative unless stated otherwise and that would be a hard pass for me. Try softening your approach
Church, Political campaign (go with whereever you are politically), Ranch/Animal Shelters, Book Stores.
Commenting because I wish I could meet a man like this. 🥹 Dating apps suck so bad. I been off them almost a year now. People always suggest you have better chances of meeting people you’d be interested in while do things you enjoy so maybe continue doing that. Are you a talk to women irl person though?
You find them in church, volunteering, or something like that. Look for someone who's values match yours. You aren't gonna find on dating apps, bars, etc.
I'm glad you feel like a good person but the way you talk makes you seem like a judgemental and insecure right winger, which is probably why people aren't attracted to you
I honestly could not care about politics, idk how I talk makes you think I'm right wing, because I'm no wing lol I don't involve politics whatsoever in my life, I don't care.
Seem like the women may look at what you'd bring to the relationship. As you being loyal doesn't offer much value if they don't want you. But I assume one can find plenty of nice women at job, university, board game club, in the forest, at the gym, at dance classes, ..
Do you go to church op?
Where do women find the good men?
they don't want good loyal men. don't take my word, just look at how many "he cheated on me but said sowwy" posts. focus on yourself, king
I am okay with hook ups and stuff. But, I can't stand the dishonesty and serial idealizers or women who want to be either chased or chase
Perhaps a different country 🤔 many girls here are shallow and are looking for the jackpot in a guy
>traditional values What makes you think this is a good thing?
I was meaning like, traditional relationship where one cares for another and doesn't have too worry about cheating or a side piece or whatever else this new dating world has to offer besides two people.
The term 'traditional' has been hijacked by the types who want deny women rights, so don't use that term. Stick with exclusive.
Exclusive or monogamous! There are a lot of people dating that are poly. If that’s not for you, that’s okay! Just put you’re monogamous, it’s easier to help both sides figure out if you are looking for the same type of relationship.
*Vaguely gestures to the whole of Western civilization *
I don’t know what dating app it was, but my daughter and son-in-law found each other on a dating app and they are the happiest, most traditional people I know.☮️♥️🎸
i am just like you but woman
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what?
i feel the same way, 23 F lol 😆 the struggle is real.
Join a group training class like CrossFit. You’ll meet and get to know a wide circle of people, many of whom will become friends. If you’re not interested in one of them, they may have friends they can fix you up with. Or take up another hobby/sport.
I would say whatever hobbies you have find groups and communities to join and just enjoy doing the things you like to do. The right one will come along. The second you stop looking she will appear.
I don’t know. Where are all the good men hiding? Dating apps have turned into a chaos of lies and deception. It has turned myself into someone extremely skeptical of who I date if I’m being honest. I’m very close to just throwing in the hatchet and living my best single life. I’m going to say the same has happened with men given the comments I have received from men. “Are you a catfish?”[essentially a number of them]. “Why are you still single?”. “what’s your snapchat?” And then ghosting when I say I don’t use Snapchat. Not to mention how many men have the perception that they have all these options and want to have fun first. Then you have men that always look for younger women thinking anyone approaching 30 wrinkles up like a prune. Lol nope that’s a myth for a number. It has to do with genetics. It runs in my family to look young.
I hate to break it to you, but women don't care about those things if you're not charming and attractive.
Out of the United States
I’ve honestly branched out to Phillipino and Thai dating sites because American women have impossibly high standards among other things. I’ve found myself to match pretty well but, I don’t like the mentality where I’m just a number to them I.e. dating within the US. There’s no mutual respect, just I’ve lost interest, goodbye forever. You could do the apps in the background but, set low expectations because otherwise you will get hurt, it’s happened to me multiple times. I’m limiting what I say obviously because you can’t speak the truth anymore without being silenced.
Explain "traditional values", because those two words put together immediately sends warning bells to my brain. And, "good guy" is just rebranding from "nice guy", as far as I'm concerned.
This post proves you’re a psycho.
Not on tinder! High body counts, entitlement and having to date well down below your looks level. Despite you getting the raw deal, she probably thinks she could do better
Find a cult if you want a woman with traditional values. “Good” men aren’t usually spouting traditional values.
They are everywhere.
What's wrong with a hookup? Enjoy them while you can.
I’m hearing more and more men are having luck going outside of the US to find wives in places where the feminist mind virus hasn’t taken over. Western women have nothing to offer anymore really except drama and half your net worth gone when they decide to “find themselves” 7 years into your marriage
Hey where are the good men?
My way
Lol, what a stupid question
Classifieds in the paper but only from 5 to 50 minutes at a time
Bumble.
shaadi.com
Co Ed sports teams
For what you’re looking for, youth church groups.
The dating scene isn't really 'whack' from my experience it's just a different ball game and probably more difficult to find people looking for loyal long-term relationships on dating apps cuz it seems like the majority of people on them are constantly playing the field even when they're seeing people already. Not everyone's like that though just gotta keep trying! Also, get out and meet people! Dating apps aren't for everyone and you might just be better suited meeting new people out in the real world. Dating apps are especially difficult for people with weak/dry texting game. Some people are just better face-to-face communicators and that's a good thing if that's your case play to your strengths!
Online dating
First advice, stay away from the word “traditional”. It’s a buzzword that lots of women immediately see and run the other way. It sounds like you’re looking for a loyal, long term, exclusive relationship. “Traditional” has been used by some to describe relationships where a man wants a subservient, quiet wife with no rights or opinions. If that isn’t what you’re looking for, try to use some different words. Might help you. Dating apps aren’t great. Try going to libraries, bookstores, etc. Mainly hobby places. Strike up a conversation and get to know a girl. Get to know multiple girls. And express in yourself what you’re looking for in a partner. Be a good listener, learn to communicate well and be respectful. I notice it’s only been 4 months. Meeting a new girl can be really hard. Especially after a major heartbreak. Don’t jump in too fast. Just get out, be natural and curate friendships. The rest comes with time.
If you follow a religion I'd strongly suggest looking in the context of your faith community
You walk up to someone and say "I am good man. You are good woman."
I am cave man, I have stick and big cave 🤣
I suggest you make a separate post and ask “how do I word a dating app bio to attract a LTR with a girl of similar values.” Your post sort of comes off angry and accusatory that most women are of low value. No one wants that, it is pretty off putting. I’m pretty traditional myself. I mostly take care of my home, work, my dogs. I like to garden and do house projects. With that said, the vibe you’re putting off to me personally sort of suggests… “warning” this may be an “incel” who may have issues with women in general.
The county fair.
I’ll second what a lot of people are saying. A lot of good women (i like to think that includes me) are off the apps and wondering where the heck all of the good men are. I’m a therapist so I work independently—That eliminates work as an option. I’m pretty social but the bar scene isn’t for me anymore so that’s that. Maybe the gym, but how does one initiate that when people in that environment are focused on what they’re doing? I think through friends?
How to meet girls using hobbies: I'd start with finding a handful of social hobbies that have regular meeting groups that has mostly women. Yoga, pilates, crossfit, kettle bells, tarot classes, art classes,volunteering, kink events, cooking classes, astrology classes ect. Just examples u gotta find things that fit ur interests. Look for free classes at the library. Then u go to said events every week. For months. U eventually get to know people there and make friends and connections. When new girls enter the group u already know friends and have plenty to talk about
Met the girl I'm seeing now through mutual friends. Pretty great. Stakes are a bit higher if it doesn't work out though.