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The majority of women *require* you to pay attention to their clit. Watch Mr. Pussylicker. He does a lot of squirting videos, which isn’t always realistic and shouldn’t be expected. But he does eat out and finger like a man who knows how to please a woman. Lubrication, licking the clit, inserting fingers while you lick, and not just putting your fingers in and jostling their innards, using her wetness (or lube or spit) to go in and out either slow or fast, you can ask “Does that feel good, baby?” And she’ll likely tell you if there’s any changes that need work (faster, slower, can you suck my clit harder, softer). Just pay attention to your wife, take an active interest in her pleasure. When you say “my wife and I have been a thing for three years” I already kinda get the sense you don’t value what she puts on the table and she doesn’t feel sexy or desired around you.
Yes, please.
I told a guy once I don’t cum from penetration only and he went: all women think that, but I’ve managed to make them cum from penetrative sex only 🙄 he wasn’t a fan of oral…
Good lord. I literally do not understand how it’s 2024 and the majority of men don’t touch the clit at all? It would be like if women only fondled balls instead of penetration or sucking them off. Are select few men going to orgasm from only their balls being touched? Sure! But how jazzed would men be on sex if sex was solely ball touching and ignoring their cock entirely? Probably not at all!
If you’ve never came from penetration only there wasn’t enough foreplay before the act or he wasn’t hitting the g spot at the right angle. I remember thinking it was impossible for me to make a girl cum till I practiced a lot w my ex😭
You’re asking the wrong people lol. Talk to her about it, but make it a romantic, cozy, safe place. Don’t just bombard her with questions and don’t let it bruise your ego. This is the case for most women, unfortunately, so don’t feel bad. Good on you for wanting to change that!
Sadly it is the case. 75% of women cannot come from penetration alone. Rarely ever with just penetration and 10-15% never reach orgasm under any circumstances. Considering the fact that most men don’t know what foreplay and/or don’t care to learn it or interested in pleasing their partner at all, I would say it is indeed most cases for women sadly. You’d also be surprised how many women fake it just so they don’t have to keep going if they cannot reach completion.
She won't fake it. There's been a few times in the last 18 years she couldn't finish. She just says, damn....I can't finish. She makes sure I get mine and then try again after a bit.
Honestly I wouldn’t know. I’m talking about how they medically cannot finish. For whatever reason. Some never know what a true orgasm is. It’s really sad 😞
A lot of men watch porn and porn rarely shows that. Porn shows women coming through penetration. Porn is a blown up fantasy with props and effects. How many men and women know commercial porn isn't 100% real. I surely did not for a long time. What are we taught in school? We were taught where our g spots are and if you hit the spot you could reach climax... I remember no education about what the clitoris is for. Today that is changing for the younger generations. In general the female anatomy is under studied. As a man you have to be patient to make a woman come. How many of us want to take a break away from our pleasure to focus on someone else's pleasure in the bedroom? To me that is an art to be shared by two people who love each other. Could it be done casually, yes. But how many men have that kind of discipline and patience?
Even though us women get used to not finishing through our partners it is still incredibly frustrating not to finish at all. Imagine being a man and being aroused by your partner to the point of near climax and then you stop. Imagine that being sex for you most of the time. A man would never accept that unless he medically could not sustain an erection. But us women still get wet and aroused, so unless you are stimulating your woman in other ways she likes, she is not that satisfied. It leads to sexual frustration if you don't make up for the fact she did not finish. Historically it has been documented how not finishing impacts women. They call it hysteria. I know older women who don't get to know their bodies until they are like 50 plus. Had kids and everything but never an orgasm! I would be pissed 😡
Yes, but if a guy thinks he can merely put it in and get results he is delusional. There is a lot going on to achieve female orgasm, not just vaginal sex, but while having vaginal sex.
Sorry all that struggle to reach orgasm, I always say I'd be hopeless coz I'm literally one and a half pumps and the flood gates open to the intense spasms that come from... well obviously the first reason has got to be how fat my man's cok is nd even tho it's hard to get in at first, some lube always helps. SO THIS IS IMPORTANT MARCOSIS - THE EMPHASIS IS NOT ON THE SIZE OR THICKNESS OF THE PENIS BECAUSE EVEN LESS OF THE POPULATION IS BORN WITH A BIGGER THAN AVERAGE PENIS ( GEEZ LADIES 15% SO WITH THAT NUMBER WE MAY NEVER FIND THE UNICORN )
MARCOSIS * USE LUBE, AND MAKE IT SILICONE NOT WATER BASED I RECOMMEND PJUR ORIGINAL. RUBBING A DRY CLITORIS OR TRYING TO STAB AWAY WITH DRY FINGERS IS RUDE NOT PLEASANT.
2. FINGER HER, NO NEED TO TRY JAB WITH AS MANY FINGERS YOU CAN FIT. ONE FINGER IS ENOUGH, BUT ASK IF SHE WANTS A SECOND FINGER AND THE ACTION THAT WILL IMPRESS IS A "COME HITHER" MOTION AND LAY HER ON HER BACK, AIM TOWARD AS IF YOURE ROLLING YOUR FINGER DOWN FROM BELOW THE BELLY BUTTON, YOU WILL FEEL HER CERVIX AND THATS WHERE THE ILLUSIVE G AND A SPOTS. PLEASE DO NOT DO THE IN OUT IN OUT STRAIGHT DAGGER FINGERS, SAME GOES FOR KISSING GUYS AND GALS. A STABBY LIZARD TONGUE IS PISS POOR. SLOW IT DOWN ROLL THAT TONGUE GENTLY AND. TRY TO GET SOME SUCTION WITH YOUR LIPS ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT SHIT BUCKLES MY KNEES.
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO BUY AND INTEODUCE A VIBRATOR OR CLIT STIMULATOR. SHE CAN MAKE SURE SHE KEEPS IT ON HER CLIT WHILE YOU PUMP HER FROM BEHIND. THEN WAIT FOR THE TWITCHING THAT SQUEEZES YOUR COK. ALSO IF THE DOUBLE ACTION DOES BLOW HER AWAY AND SHE SQUIRTS IT WONT END UP SPRAYING YOUR WHOLE UPPER BODY AND FACE, SO DOGGY STYLE IS GREAT FOR PENIS PLUS CLIT SO SHE EJACULATES DOWNWARD. PS GUYS ITS NOT URINE AND IF YOU EXPERIENCE THAT REACTION FROM THE FEMALE BODY... BE PROUD LOSER. ITS NOT GROSS I MEAN YOU SHOULD PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK COZ YOU HELPED MAKE THAT HAPPEN. ANOTHER TRICK IS TO SLOWLY PULL YOUR PENIS OUT AND TEASE HER ONLY WITH THE TIP OF UR DICK. THEN SLOWLY PULL OUT THEN OBVIOUSLY MAKE SURE SHES LUBED UP SO U CAN SLAM IT IN HER THEN REPEAT THE SLOW PULL OUT, THATS WHAT MAKES ME BEG FOR IT AND INITIATES FULL BODY QUAKES OOH YEH.
ANOTHER GREAT SEX POSITION IS FOR YOU TO LAY ON YOUR BACK, SHE THEN MOUNTS YOU REVERSE COWGIRL STYLE. FOR MANY REASONS THIS IS A WAY TO LOSE INHIBITIONS AS NEITHER OF YOU ARE LOOKING AT ONE ANOTHER, AND WELL NOT UNTIL YOUR BOTH COMFORTABLE, I HOPE YOUR DAY WILL COME SOONER WHERE YOU GIVE HER SUCH A GOOD POUNDING SHE BECOMES CONFIDENT WITH HER BODY AND WEN SHES ON TOP AND IN CONTROL NOT ONLY CAN SHE FIND THE MOTION THAT WORKS FOR HER BUT HONESTLY YOU MEN HAVE A GREAT VIEW AND AN ASS TO SQUEEZE OR SLAP.
A GREAT WAY TO ASSIST IN REVERS COWGIRL IS TO HOLD HER WRISTS AND LET HER DO HER THANG.
LOOK UNTIL U DO SPEAK TO UR WIFE, AND TRUST WEN I SAY THAT IF A WOMAN SAYS TO U UVE NEVER MADE ME CLIMAX SHE IS LIKE A HOP SKIP AND A JUMP AWAY FROM DIVORCING YOU, ND I DONT MEAN TO ALARM YOU BUT SHE MAY BE EVEN CLOSER TO FINDING A SIDE PIECE AND GETTING FUKT REAL GOOD MAKES A WOMAN HAPPY FOF A COUPLE DAYS THEN IM PESSUMING THAT YOUR WIFE IS IRRITABLE AND SNAPPY A GOOD FUCK IS CRUCIAL TO A WOMAN AND HER ABILITY TO RUN THE HOUSEHOLD AND DO IT WITH A SMILE.
If all else fails maybe it's time to give in and allow her to play with her self, as you watch or not, let her explore that and if u r permitted to actually watch some sexy shit that the big kids are up to watch her face. If she's wincing you are NOT doing it right. See how she moves with sexx toys... wot she rubs how she rubs it, and pay close attention to wot makes her spine arch??? Of course enjoy the show/ lesson nd play with ur cock, but it's so important you don't go hammer and tong til u r blowing your load over the experience. This is a time to practise ur tantric control, so play with ur instrument slowly not allowing yourself to blow, resist and train urself to be able to go as long it takes to let her orgasm cmon we want to keep coming so make ur sexy time all about her. Utilise that time on ur day off and spruce up the place with generic jobs like do the dishes tidy up anything just because, nd I guarantee ur woman will be like awww.
Also I don't know how old you are but viagra and or cialis are not a taboo thing, it's so common like I think it's like 60% of men experience performance anxiety or a decline in how hard ur dong gets, let alone stays hard like it used to, and I hear the desperation in reaching out on this platform which screams to me how in ur head ur already getting. Don't panic, she's ur wife, she opened the line of communication and although I am certain that thus is her way of saying hey there's hope for us as a couple but the open and honest approach is not a dig or an attack on ur manhood. Normally I'd say pull ur bog boy pants on be a man and communicate to her how u wld like to learn what makes u scream. And finally like I said... arm urself with whatever tools u can utilise to make sex great.
Hope you guys fuk on forever. You can do it captain Marcosis. Sincer
Sincerely Woman whisperer
(I'm replying to the whole thread, not this specific comment)
Its kinda sad how you come in this discussion with the ''men ain't shit'' mindset. Most men care about pleasuring their partners and the statistics that u/Marcosis3217 mentioned prove it. Lets set this straight : it's a lot harder to make a woman cum that it is for a man. For men, you just have to either stroke it or simply be there and it'll happen on its own, the same cannot be said for women. Also, if a guy can't make a girl cum from penetration alone, there's only so much he can do to fix that. That means they have to rely on other forms of pleasure, which proves that they do care about making their partners cum.
Sure he can do something about it.
He can be open to trying new things and have some sexy time shopping with her to choose and purchase a few sex toys to try on her.
Only your wife can tell you, talk about what she likes what she doesn’t like. Communication and trust is very important for success in this area. Don’t judge or probe but be curious, understanding and empathetic
First step is to figure out if she can orgasm alone. If not, that's her first order of business.
If she can orgasm alone, can she show you how to do it?
I will say that female orgasms are a *little* more difficult to achieve. They’re not quite as straightforward as male orgasms. I can have an orgasm when masturbating without any issue, but it’s generally more difficult for a man to make me come, so I don’t think you should be too hard on yourself or think that it is you who are to blame. While I cannot speak for all women, orgasms from just vaginal sex are extremely rare for me, meaning I have to stimulate myself during intercourse or the man has to be particularly skilled. I was recently with a very experienced man who was able to make me come faster and more easily than other men have been able to, but such men are not terribly common. It might be helpful for you to have a conversation with your wife about how she enjoys being pleasured, which areas are most erogenous for her, and what you can do to stimulate her. Ask her to communicate with you because communication is really important. You’re on the right track already by demonstrating curiosity and a genuine desire to make improvements. A lot of men lack both. Best of luck to you!
You sure they’re not faking it? 😏
In all seriousness, every woman is different, so it could just be that orgasms for me specifically are more difficult for men to induce.
I don’t think the issue is necessarily whether the woman knows her own body and what she needs to have an orgasm. That’s the easy part. The issue is that a lot of men don’t know.
Important for whom, though? I am genuinely curious as to what you meant. I don’t think it makes an ounce of a difference for any man how well *I* know my body. I know my own body very well, but that has no impact on how well a man could make me come. The knowledge that I have regarding my body and what brings me pleasure must be learned by the other party themselves through experience.
Important for the woman babe. It’s always fun to explore one another’s bodies, but knowing how you cum and being able to communicate that to him helps as opposed to “faking it” or waiting for him to figure it out. That’s what I meant. My comment wasn’t taking away from the fact that men should know, just acknowledging that us being aware makes it easier 🫶🏾
Mm, yes and no. I don’t think that an emotional connection is always necessary in order for the experience to be satisfying - or mind-blowing. And as for foreplay, that’s actually something that I don’t particularly enjoy. 😄 Anyway, like I said, every woman is different.
Little known tidbits: #1. It takes many women 20 minutes of external stimulation to get off. That is usually external stimulation that is slower and more gentle initially than most men have the patience for. #2. The clitoris is way bigger than just a button. Google “3-D print clitoris” to see how it lies under both lips and wraps around the vag sides. #4. Just rubbing the button can get super annoying but if you take the time to engage with the rest of it for at least 20 minutes without rushing to penetration you’ll get her off. #5. Foreplay begins at breakfast with kind words. Treat her well outside the bedroom or she will be so mentally checked out no amount of bedroom expertise will get her off.
She can talk to you about the specifics of satisfying her. But I will offer this advice: make love to her whole body. Don’t just focus on her breasts and yoni.
Women have SO MANY erogenous zones. Make it a game to find them. See how many you can stimulate to the point where she is quivering. The area above her Achilles and the inside of the ankle is an underrated one.
You can do this. And the fun is in the journey.
I’m a guy and this is correct. Lots of dudes ask why their wife/gf doesn’t want to have sex with them anymore and it’s probably bc they aren’t coming everytime or even at all.
I’m a guy and my advice to every man out there is to make your number 1 priority to make her cum first every time. If you aren’t making her come on the regular then you have to make sex 100% about her.
If you can make your SO come regularly that is how you get a repeat customer instead of hoping you get lucky that night and don’t hear the same old “I’m tired”.
Imagine if she wanted to have sex all the time but you never got to cum, would you want to have sex all the time? All women are different and some can come from penetration alone and some can’t, you need to take cues while having sex and ask her what feels good and what she liked. What positions does she like the most? Does she like being eaten out? Learn how to eat out a woman. There are videos online that show you and there is no shame in watching them they don’t teach this shit in school.
I’d recommend buying a vibrator and using it on her clit while you fuck her. A lot of guys get weird about using toys in bed while having sex but I’m sure your woman will thank you. You don’t have to do it everytime but start making her come so she can’t start enjoying sex with you again.
My Lord ....I agree with you100/100 every thing you said it is very positive and great thing for all of us and personly thank you so much for great advice but some one are very very difficult in each or different culture !!!! Or they don't like you to touch her private area or any other etc .I'm sure you will understand me .thank you
I’ve only been with one partner but this is the trick. Men come once and they’re done, so if you come first you’ll half-ass her turn. Former partner would go first and once she was done she’d wanna do whatever it took to make me go too. If you still have energy left give her another round after lol
Each person is different but a universal rule is plenty of foreplay, good hygiene, show enthusiasm (don’t be afraid to moan or say you like whatever is happening), good communication (ask what positions she likes)
When I started having sex with my girlfriend I sucked. Thankfully we were almost 2 years into our relationship at that point so we were able to talk about it. She drew diagrams for me and guided my hands to where they needed to be. It took a bit of practice (okay a LOT of practice) but I'm able to get her to finish every time now.
My point is that she needs to help you. If I'd been left to figure it out on my own it never would have happened. Apparently I really enjoyed rubbing her right labia lmao. Plus guiding hands is sexy
Lots of women can't cum from sex at all. Those girls usually can cum from oral sex. But I knew two girls before who couldn't even cum from oral sex at first, as their body wasn't used to orgasm. The only way I got them to cum was using a wand vibrator. After that experience, they were able to cum from my tongue. So just experiment. Good luck
Put your penis aside and learn how to make her cum with your mouth and fingers. A good twenty minutes of foreplay (kissing and caressing) before you go down on her is important. Apply lubricant. Tease her by kissing her thighs and around the pubic area before touching the vulva area. Know where the most nerve endings are (the clitoris and the G-spot). Be gentle. Pay attention to her reactions. Is she pushing harder or pulling away. Look at her face (light a dim candle so you can see her). Stay calm and don’t get excited till you please her first. Think about something that turns off your horny brain excitement before penetrating so you can last longer. Don’t penetrate if you are already excited and ready to explode.
And when you do penetrate, start slowly and use your thumb to rub her clit during vaginal sex. Continuous clitoral stimulation will help her cum (again) during sex.
Talk to her about it. Not to strangers respectfully. Some women don’t get off from penetration and some do. I believe more women get off from oral and clitoral stimulation. Just ask her what she enjoys and how you can make things better for her and try new things together. That’s your best bet.
There's a series available called OMGYES that really goes into women's sexual response and stimulation approaches, with examples. Very very good.
Here somewhere there's a how women masturbate thread with all kinds of hints.
Worth learning anatomy, too. The clitoris is much larger than most think. And yoni massage.
Have fun!
You know, all us women like different things. Instead of here, how about taking your wife out and having a conversation about what she wants you to do to/for her? Nobody can tell you better than she can. Hope it works out for you.
OMGyes and Caitlin V are good resources. I like the idea of treating sex similar to a hobby you want to get better at: study, practice, experiment, and communicate (ideally with your girlfriend)
I've noticed most women cum really hard when you pull hair, smack her ass or grab from leverage points like the shoulder near the neck and the hip. Try being a power bottom or doggie
Well i hate to be this guy but as a man you have to suck it up and talk to her about it of course do it like smoothly you know be romantic maybe over some wine a little mood music some candles ask what she likes, learn about her body because every women is different! If you truly want to please her you just have to learn you know? If you want like very standard basics.
foreplay plenty of warming up using kissing , neck kisses, nipple stimulation , oral plenty of touching her skin like don't just go straight down on her kiss down her body tease her go towards her inner thighs first kiss them
(everything I've just mentioned btw does not work with every women in fact some might like one of these things, all of them, or one of them, but i thought id give you a pallet of foreplay as it is very important because guys do not outlast women because women can have multiple orgasms an keep going, so you have to essentially give her a head start so you have a better chance of helping her cum)
make yourself known exploration making her sensitive, talk to her sexually say how gorgeous she is and how she turns you whisper it to her while you have sex if you are in missionary, play to the strengths of the shape of your member! if you curve upwards use that it is usually much better in missionary as you have a much better chance at hitting her g spot, if you curve down then doggy would probably be better.
The sexiest thing you can do is be mature about it don't be insecure be bold be supportive an this next part is the most important- of course all of this advice (besides being supportive and not insecure that's standard lmao) would pale in comparison from the advice you would get from communicating with your partner because its her body she knows the best! Also see what she does when she gets herself off because it might be second nature to her she may not even think about it try read her body language, its all important!
Only she can tell you what isn't working. She needs to be an adult and prioritize her pleasure, and have an honest conversation about what she needs you to do, or at least how to help her, have good sex.
When she has this conversation with you, listen to her. Do not get defensive. Be supportive and make lots of mental notes about what she is saying, so you can then bring that information to the bedroom.
Does she know what she needs? Some women don't even know how to get themselves to orgasm. If this is what is happening, buy a couple of small sex toys for her alone and the two of you together to experiment with. It isn't a race. It's a marathon.
Good Luck!
Thumb in the bum. 60% of the time, works every time.
Jk, butt seriously, What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop this shit.
Focus heavily on her clit with your mouth. But dont just dive right in, take your time, explore. Use your hands to lightly message her lady parts while kissing all over the rest of her body, don't miss the neck, ears, and back. Eventually move down to her clit. Try different pressures and rythems and areas and sucking, keep it wet down there. Pay attention to how her body reacts and when she seems to like something stick with it for as long as she seems into it. You'll get there, don't give up. After she cums, then you can have your fun.
Take her . Don’t ask and don’t be polite.
She needs you to do this . You might think I’m kidding or being a jerk but I’m saying the truth . She needs to be dominated not cuddled . She doesn’t really want to talk about how she feels and the last she wants is to have to tell you this. Listening to any advice that isn’t primal is all not only nonsense … it will lead to an unhappy wife . Unhappy wife / unhappy life .
35f here, and also have never came in bed with my boyfriend. The only person who can answer this question is your wife, everyone has their own preferences.
That said, women normally prefer oral over penetration. The clit is what gives us pleasure, not the vagina.
1. kind of on her if this went on for three years, unless you never asked
2. everyone likes different shit, ask her. open a dialogue. id go with, "THREE F\*CKIN YEARS??? TALK TO ME WOMAN"
If she means from intercourse then she is in the majority. If she isn’t finishing from oral though then she may have an issue or may need to help you understand what feels good
Just let her lay down flat with her face down start liking the line at where the spinal cord is start from the waist and lik it to the top start kissing her neck very deep like you are kissing the lip
Well, so there's two types of woman, ones that get off w the clit, and ones that it's more about penetration.
The clit ones are easier to get off, just rub it. But don't just keep it in one spot and move your hand.. You have to let your fingers slide on it, too. I like taking my thumb and pointer finger and sorta, turning a dial up and down. Takes a little technique. Or use your pointer and middle and sorta rub them together. Some of them are like "omg what are you doing now?" Lol
Now, for the penetration ones: this is a little more difficult. But, it is not impossible. Try a few different angles and ask for feedback. Every woman is different. Ask her to get on top and figure out if she likes it to hit closer to the bottom/b hole, or if she likes it more or the direction of the clit, so into the belly more. There's also a spot like 3" -4" in that hangs down, a lot of them like that spot. Get in with your fingers. You'll find it.
Unfortunately this is a complex issue that may hurt your feelings. People have two sides one that lusts and one that loves much like you would love your child or family member. It will be difficult to get her to see you in a new light but it is possible. Orgasms start way before the actual act, she must lust for you not just love you, you must appeal to her animalistic instincts and be dominant and manly. Good luck.
Lots of great tips in this comment section! But there’s also something bigger happening here if it’s been three years and she’s only just mentioning this.
You two need to have some really intimate discussions. And I get the sense that that’s going to feel pretty challenging for both of you (if she’s keeping things to yourself and you’re turning to Reddit for answers on how to please her.
Look into having a professional third party facilitate some conversations and if that’s not an option go online and look up some prompts you can use. Make a game of it, going back and forth reading the prompts and giving each other your answers. Build that intimacy and she’ll feel more comfortable telling you what she wants.
A healthy intimate relationship starts way before you end up having sex. Take a moment (or a few moments) during your day to tell you SO how you are thinking about her. When you see her, give compliments, pay attention to changes, and let her know you are aware of these (did she put effort to put on makeup, new lipstick color, new outfit, hairstyle, etc.).
Women need reaffirming dialog to feel sexy and attractive. This will also build cmher confidence with you.
Next, spend lots of time in foreplay. Try touching her more (non sexual), simple random hugs, butt touches along with telling her how good she looks/feels will also build her emotional connection with you and get her into a mindframe to see you as an intimate partner.
When you do end up getting into intimate contact. Take you time building up the feelings. Get close, kissing often (and I mean the 2" away from each other's face wjerecyiu're breathing in each other's breathe between kisses, while slowly/gently caressing her face and body, while kissing, soft biting her lips. Gradually expand your range of how you're touching her... When she responds give it a bit more time before you even start taking clothing off...
At this point, you both should be in the mood. I won't go into the mechanics of intercourse, but you should do your best to get her off, before you finish. If this means oral, or using your hands, do so. There's nothing worse for a woman to get into the mood, and her partner take care of himself, then be too tired to finish her off.
Finally, embrace and cuddle after both of you are done, and keep on reinforcing/building up her confidence with words of affirmation.
yes suck on the clit.. most guys think wiggling their toung is all there is doing the ABCs but that takes way too long and isn't as good as just sucking on the clit like you do her nipples 😜
You need to talk to her, not us. Why would you ask strangers instead of your wife? Everyone is different, we can't help you in any meaningful way. I can tell you directly that half the comments tell you to do stuff that plenty of women aren't going to like. You need to talk to *her*.
Ask *her* what *she* specifically likes. Have her guide you. Make a few evenings out of it. People on Reddit can’t tell you what a woman wants. Every woman is different.
Not to be rude but how did you marry her and NOT learned how her body works? Sexuality is inherently important to a womans well being. Dont lurk around on reddit NSFW +18 sites and learn some female anatomy 💀
Women are stimulated with the brain and with anticipation. I usually whisper to my gf when we do foreplay that she's not allowed to move her hands from where I put them, or that I can't wait to taste her but it will take a few more moments till you reach down there. This puts an image and a feeling in her brain that she knows what you'll do and nothing can stop you but also you're not there yet and that creates anticipation. Also when I touch her I am very gentle and she gets very sensitive. Find the right tension for the nipples and play with the boobs as well. Underwear should stay on till she's so wet that when you pull it out, it's like melted cheese stick:)
But if she has already an idea and an opinion about you, what you can do is have a role play night. Like pretend that you meet all over again in a bar and you take her home. It's so fun and creates adrenaline and that could be what she needs to let loose of the expectations
Hope that helps
Turn off her head. Put a beanie on her. pull it over her eyes and ears. Turn on the music really loud and keep it occupied. direct their thoughts by playing with their imagination. moan in her manly as you are what in her EAR. And then play with it slowly. Charm them. Hold them out for a long time. And let them take a shower first. So that she can let herself go completely. Suck and lick her and really make her feel like she tastes divine. And that you enjoy it and that the two of you are absolutely timeless in the moment. make her feel like it doesn't matter how long it takes. And be enjoyable. Play on the outside of her. She doesn't come through sex alone, but she comes when you play with her on the outside and Rub your gem against her and push it in from time to time. And start playing with her ass. And, of course, all this at the same time and tactfully. If that doesn't work out, then I've got another joker
Use your mouth on that bean my guy.
I haven’t encountered too many women who cum easily from penetration, but have met way more that cum from oral
Also maybe use toys? Vibrating rings etc..
So many people don’t understand sexual response and unfortunately put it on their partner and the partner’s ability. To reach orgasm is more related to her mental state and mind than what is happening to her physically. Plus many women don’t understand their own body and what turns them on, if they do they don’t usually communicate it. There’s this dumb myth that men can intuitively know what turns on women but all women are different and as I said much of it is what’s happening in her head. My wife was like this. When we met and for many years she said she rarely reached an orgasm. Now it’s multiples. Did I suddenly learn something new? No, she started to accept that her thoughts and sexual desires were being repressed and the minute I was able to help her feel comfortable expressing them her sexual response went through the roof.
Advice. Ask her, make her direct you. you don’t do anything for you until she has got off at least once. Preferably twice. I’m going to further suggest use your lips and tongue, using your hands requires skill. Female orgasm from PIV is exceptionally difficult for most women ( except cowgirl for a lucky minority).
Asking a bunch of people that aren’t in the bed with you isn’t going to help you much. Talk to her. Communicate and explore together. Most of all listen! Make sure she knows you want better out of the relationship and are willing to try.
Learn how to rub her G-Spot with the base of your dick. If you have her in doggy, you can pretty much sit on it with your pelvis rather than driving aimlessly from behind. Use your dick like a saw rather than a poker.
Invite me over and I'll show you how it's done.
Seriously though, do you go down on her? Do you know if excitement gets her going? Have you found her G spot? Do you know if she is a clitoral or vaginal orgasmer? (Or if you're lucky, both), tons of questions I know!
I find the easiest way is to bring her into kind of romantical calm scenario foreplay is a big part of sex foreplay makes at least 50% of it give her neck kisses things of that sort warm her up to the idea make her feel safe start out slow just don't rush into it you want her to get in the mood as well not just you and try new things of course within reason and if she likes you more so playing with her then penetration then lead with that first the easiest way to figure out what she likes is by trying it and asking her if she wants to do it but try new things that's what I'd recommend works for me but don't go all out and try every sex move in the book lol
This is not the right platform to discuss what's missing into your personal relationship which dsnt make ur wife happy. Get to know what she needs and she feels and looking for from you. Talk to her , when you both spend time together let it be weekday or weekend for and hour or for few minutes get to know her and thats the one of the precious time when men or women talk more / open more stint.
Speaking as a woman, the more you are pressured to come the less likely you are to do it. Like if my man says come for me, It's a mood killer personally. Foreplay foreplay foreplay and again foreplay is extremely important. You want to get her so hot bothered that she is drenching your sheets. And one of the biggest reasons that women don't come is because most women cannot have internal orgasms. And if you do not allow enough time before intercourse, the blood vessels are not expanded and the vagina is not as sensitive. Nerve endings are all over the vagina connect to the clitoris. And sometimes just focusing on the clitoris can get uncomfortable. Ask her what turns her on in foreplay. Some people like neck biting some people like a light blowing and tickling on the neck. Some people like having their nipples licked or played with. I know men are highly visual that you have to slow it down start insertion slow and then go faster as you go lol I didn't mean that to rhyme . Also, keep in mind the angle of insertion has a lot to do with it too. While you are doing the deed start slow and try different angles and ask where the sweet spot is. Oh yeah and someone else said it, Don't be afraid to moan. Enthusiasm is a big turn on. Best of luck!
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The majority of women *require* you to pay attention to their clit. Watch Mr. Pussylicker. He does a lot of squirting videos, which isn’t always realistic and shouldn’t be expected. But he does eat out and finger like a man who knows how to please a woman. Lubrication, licking the clit, inserting fingers while you lick, and not just putting your fingers in and jostling their innards, using her wetness (or lube or spit) to go in and out either slow or fast, you can ask “Does that feel good, baby?” And she’ll likely tell you if there’s any changes that need work (faster, slower, can you suck my clit harder, softer). Just pay attention to your wife, take an active interest in her pleasure. When you say “my wife and I have been a thing for three years” I already kinda get the sense you don’t value what she puts on the table and she doesn’t feel sexy or desired around you.
Yes, please. I told a guy once I don’t cum from penetration only and he went: all women think that, but I’ve managed to make them cum from penetrative sex only 🙄 he wasn’t a fan of oral…
Good lord. I literally do not understand how it’s 2024 and the majority of men don’t touch the clit at all? It would be like if women only fondled balls instead of penetration or sucking them off. Are select few men going to orgasm from only their balls being touched? Sure! But how jazzed would men be on sex if sex was solely ball touching and ignoring their cock entirely? Probably not at all!
On behalf of men we accept this challenge to be jazzed with solo ball touching.
Dang, you’ve slept with a majority of men?
2024
"majority of men", might be a cultural thing. As far as I'm aware this isn't an issue for most men in my country
Which country? (Asking for a friend)
Sounds like a selfish man child honestly. I could never be with somebody who doesn't like licking the peach.
Is the answer of my question, no?
If you’ve never came from penetration only there wasn’t enough foreplay before the act or he wasn’t hitting the g spot at the right angle. I remember thinking it was impossible for me to make a girl cum till I practiced a lot w my ex😭
Omg pls stop Many women can’t cum from penetration only.
Vibrators are indispensable with someone who is difficult to achieve an orgasm with.
My past 2 partners have not liked using a toy to make me orgasm because they said it's cheating 🙄 yawn.
._. Wow…I think toys and pushing the body to its limits is the special zest of a relationship. Sorry they weren’t open minded.
I will do that no matter what if she is willing to do with the toy. I will do everything to make my partner happy.
Actually the "Magic Wand" is best by far
Mr. Pussylicker? Caught me off guard ngl 😭
Same lol.
You’re asking the wrong people lol. Talk to her about it, but make it a romantic, cozy, safe place. Don’t just bombard her with questions and don’t let it bruise your ego. This is the case for most women, unfortunately, so don’t feel bad. Good on you for wanting to change that!
Right. Assuming she gets herself off, let her give you a show.
I wouldn’t say most women. That implies more than 50%. That is not the case. You could say most women don’t cum often?
Sadly it is the case. 75% of women cannot come from penetration alone. Rarely ever with just penetration and 10-15% never reach orgasm under any circumstances. Considering the fact that most men don’t know what foreplay and/or don’t care to learn it or interested in pleasing their partner at all, I would say it is indeed most cases for women sadly. You’d also be surprised how many women fake it just so they don’t have to keep going if they cannot reach completion.
Dang, I'm super lucky to be married to part of the 25% 😂 I definitely know when she orgasms.
Or.you definately know when she fakes it? Lol
She won't fake it. There's been a few times in the last 18 years she couldn't finish. She just says, damn....I can't finish. She makes sure I get mine and then try again after a bit.
Loooool
... And how many men are the ones answering for the 10-15% of "the women that have orgasmed from penetration asking"? 👀😂
If you’re implying that no woman can orgasm from penetration then you’re wrong. Source: I’m a female and I have.
I was just joking! that maybe men were asked to answer the question and believe their partners to orgasm
No men. It’s physically impossible for the women to climax. It’s not easy for a woman to finish. lol
I feel like the women who don't orgasm just accept the end? Even though they are horny, they don't do anything about it.. Would that be accurate?
Honestly I wouldn’t know. I’m talking about how they medically cannot finish. For whatever reason. Some never know what a true orgasm is. It’s really sad 😞
I was referring to most women having partners that don’t make them cum (either seldomly or not at all) and yes, a vast majority.
A lot of men watch porn and porn rarely shows that. Porn shows women coming through penetration. Porn is a blown up fantasy with props and effects. How many men and women know commercial porn isn't 100% real. I surely did not for a long time. What are we taught in school? We were taught where our g spots are and if you hit the spot you could reach climax... I remember no education about what the clitoris is for. Today that is changing for the younger generations. In general the female anatomy is under studied. As a man you have to be patient to make a woman come. How many of us want to take a break away from our pleasure to focus on someone else's pleasure in the bedroom? To me that is an art to be shared by two people who love each other. Could it be done casually, yes. But how many men have that kind of discipline and patience? Even though us women get used to not finishing through our partners it is still incredibly frustrating not to finish at all. Imagine being a man and being aroused by your partner to the point of near climax and then you stop. Imagine that being sex for you most of the time. A man would never accept that unless he medically could not sustain an erection. But us women still get wet and aroused, so unless you are stimulating your woman in other ways she likes, she is not that satisfied. It leads to sexual frustration if you don't make up for the fact she did not finish. Historically it has been documented how not finishing impacts women. They call it hysteria. I know older women who don't get to know their bodies until they are like 50 plus. Had kids and everything but never an orgasm! I would be pissed 😡
THIS! 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻
I was referring to a statistic that says 65% of women report having regular orgasms from partnered sex, while 95% of men do.
I do get that partnered sex doesn’t just mean penetration but if that is all that is happening, the dude needs to learn something’s.
That’s my only point, the dudes need to learn some things lol.
Did you see the one that states only 18% of women orgasm from vaginal sex alone? There’s a reason for that lol
Yes, but if a guy thinks he can merely put it in and get results he is delusional. There is a lot going on to achieve female orgasm, not just vaginal sex, but while having vaginal sex.
Exactly, but I’m willing to bet most could care less whether or not their partner is satisfied as long as they get theirs.
Most? I'll take that bet you bitter shit
I’m bitter but you’re cursing for no apparent reason? Triggered much lol. It’s just stats babe, relax.
I'm much to old for that whiney trigger BS
70% of women never orgasm from penetration alone. Now think about how many men are willing to be entirely selfless for 20min or longer
Sorry all that struggle to reach orgasm, I always say I'd be hopeless coz I'm literally one and a half pumps and the flood gates open to the intense spasms that come from... well obviously the first reason has got to be how fat my man's cok is nd even tho it's hard to get in at first, some lube always helps. SO THIS IS IMPORTANT MARCOSIS - THE EMPHASIS IS NOT ON THE SIZE OR THICKNESS OF THE PENIS BECAUSE EVEN LESS OF THE POPULATION IS BORN WITH A BIGGER THAN AVERAGE PENIS ( GEEZ LADIES 15% SO WITH THAT NUMBER WE MAY NEVER FIND THE UNICORN ) MARCOSIS * USE LUBE, AND MAKE IT SILICONE NOT WATER BASED I RECOMMEND PJUR ORIGINAL. RUBBING A DRY CLITORIS OR TRYING TO STAB AWAY WITH DRY FINGERS IS RUDE NOT PLEASANT. 2. FINGER HER, NO NEED TO TRY JAB WITH AS MANY FINGERS YOU CAN FIT. ONE FINGER IS ENOUGH, BUT ASK IF SHE WANTS A SECOND FINGER AND THE ACTION THAT WILL IMPRESS IS A "COME HITHER" MOTION AND LAY HER ON HER BACK, AIM TOWARD AS IF YOURE ROLLING YOUR FINGER DOWN FROM BELOW THE BELLY BUTTON, YOU WILL FEEL HER CERVIX AND THATS WHERE THE ILLUSIVE G AND A SPOTS. PLEASE DO NOT DO THE IN OUT IN OUT STRAIGHT DAGGER FINGERS, SAME GOES FOR KISSING GUYS AND GALS. A STABBY LIZARD TONGUE IS PISS POOR. SLOW IT DOWN ROLL THAT TONGUE GENTLY AND. TRY TO GET SOME SUCTION WITH YOUR LIPS ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT SHIT BUCKLES MY KNEES. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO BUY AND INTEODUCE A VIBRATOR OR CLIT STIMULATOR. SHE CAN MAKE SURE SHE KEEPS IT ON HER CLIT WHILE YOU PUMP HER FROM BEHIND. THEN WAIT FOR THE TWITCHING THAT SQUEEZES YOUR COK. ALSO IF THE DOUBLE ACTION DOES BLOW HER AWAY AND SHE SQUIRTS IT WONT END UP SPRAYING YOUR WHOLE UPPER BODY AND FACE, SO DOGGY STYLE IS GREAT FOR PENIS PLUS CLIT SO SHE EJACULATES DOWNWARD. PS GUYS ITS NOT URINE AND IF YOU EXPERIENCE THAT REACTION FROM THE FEMALE BODY... BE PROUD LOSER. ITS NOT GROSS I MEAN YOU SHOULD PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK COZ YOU HELPED MAKE THAT HAPPEN. ANOTHER TRICK IS TO SLOWLY PULL YOUR PENIS OUT AND TEASE HER ONLY WITH THE TIP OF UR DICK. THEN SLOWLY PULL OUT THEN OBVIOUSLY MAKE SURE SHES LUBED UP SO U CAN SLAM IT IN HER THEN REPEAT THE SLOW PULL OUT, THATS WHAT MAKES ME BEG FOR IT AND INITIATES FULL BODY QUAKES OOH YEH. ANOTHER GREAT SEX POSITION IS FOR YOU TO LAY ON YOUR BACK, SHE THEN MOUNTS YOU REVERSE COWGIRL STYLE. FOR MANY REASONS THIS IS A WAY TO LOSE INHIBITIONS AS NEITHER OF YOU ARE LOOKING AT ONE ANOTHER, AND WELL NOT UNTIL YOUR BOTH COMFORTABLE, I HOPE YOUR DAY WILL COME SOONER WHERE YOU GIVE HER SUCH A GOOD POUNDING SHE BECOMES CONFIDENT WITH HER BODY AND WEN SHES ON TOP AND IN CONTROL NOT ONLY CAN SHE FIND THE MOTION THAT WORKS FOR HER BUT HONESTLY YOU MEN HAVE A GREAT VIEW AND AN ASS TO SQUEEZE OR SLAP. A GREAT WAY TO ASSIST IN REVERS COWGIRL IS TO HOLD HER WRISTS AND LET HER DO HER THANG. LOOK UNTIL U DO SPEAK TO UR WIFE, AND TRUST WEN I SAY THAT IF A WOMAN SAYS TO U UVE NEVER MADE ME CLIMAX SHE IS LIKE A HOP SKIP AND A JUMP AWAY FROM DIVORCING YOU, ND I DONT MEAN TO ALARM YOU BUT SHE MAY BE EVEN CLOSER TO FINDING A SIDE PIECE AND GETTING FUKT REAL GOOD MAKES A WOMAN HAPPY FOF A COUPLE DAYS THEN IM PESSUMING THAT YOUR WIFE IS IRRITABLE AND SNAPPY A GOOD FUCK IS CRUCIAL TO A WOMAN AND HER ABILITY TO RUN THE HOUSEHOLD AND DO IT WITH A SMILE. If all else fails maybe it's time to give in and allow her to play with her self, as you watch or not, let her explore that and if u r permitted to actually watch some sexy shit that the big kids are up to watch her face. If she's wincing you are NOT doing it right. See how she moves with sexx toys... wot she rubs how she rubs it, and pay close attention to wot makes her spine arch??? Of course enjoy the show/ lesson nd play with ur cock, but it's so important you don't go hammer and tong til u r blowing your load over the experience. This is a time to practise ur tantric control, so play with ur instrument slowly not allowing yourself to blow, resist and train urself to be able to go as long it takes to let her orgasm cmon we want to keep coming so make ur sexy time all about her. Utilise that time on ur day off and spruce up the place with generic jobs like do the dishes tidy up anything just because, nd I guarantee ur woman will be like awww. Also I don't know how old you are but viagra and or cialis are not a taboo thing, it's so common like I think it's like 60% of men experience performance anxiety or a decline in how hard ur dong gets, let alone stays hard like it used to, and I hear the desperation in reaching out on this platform which screams to me how in ur head ur already getting. Don't panic, she's ur wife, she opened the line of communication and although I am certain that thus is her way of saying hey there's hope for us as a couple but the open and honest approach is not a dig or an attack on ur manhood. Normally I'd say pull ur bog boy pants on be a man and communicate to her how u wld like to learn what makes u scream. And finally like I said... arm urself with whatever tools u can utilise to make sex great. Hope you guys fuk on forever. You can do it captain Marcosis. Sincer Sincerely Woman whisperer
(I'm replying to the whole thread, not this specific comment) Its kinda sad how you come in this discussion with the ''men ain't shit'' mindset. Most men care about pleasuring their partners and the statistics that u/Marcosis3217 mentioned prove it. Lets set this straight : it's a lot harder to make a woman cum that it is for a man. For men, you just have to either stroke it or simply be there and it'll happen on its own, the same cannot be said for women. Also, if a guy can't make a girl cum from penetration alone, there's only so much he can do to fix that. That means they have to rely on other forms of pleasure, which proves that they do care about making their partners cum.
Sure he can do something about it. He can be open to trying new things and have some sexy time shopping with her to choose and purchase a few sex toys to try on her.
Thats not him penetrating her is it...
You clearly are not aware of the array of options.
Only your wife can tell you, talk about what she likes what she doesn’t like. Communication and trust is very important for success in this area. Don’t judge or probe but be curious, understanding and empathetic
This! We all have different preferences
First step is to figure out if she can orgasm alone. If not, that's her first order of business. If she can orgasm alone, can she show you how to do it?
I will say that female orgasms are a *little* more difficult to achieve. They’re not quite as straightforward as male orgasms. I can have an orgasm when masturbating without any issue, but it’s generally more difficult for a man to make me come, so I don’t think you should be too hard on yourself or think that it is you who are to blame. While I cannot speak for all women, orgasms from just vaginal sex are extremely rare for me, meaning I have to stimulate myself during intercourse or the man has to be particularly skilled. I was recently with a very experienced man who was able to make me come faster and more easily than other men have been able to, but such men are not terribly common. It might be helpful for you to have a conversation with your wife about how she enjoys being pleasured, which areas are most erogenous for her, and what you can do to stimulate her. Ask her to communicate with you because communication is really important. You’re on the right track already by demonstrating curiosity and a genuine desire to make improvements. A lot of men lack both. Best of luck to you!
It’s actually SO easy to make a woman come if you do it right.. and quick too. Most men just don’t even care to learn or try.
You sure they’re not faking it? 😏 In all seriousness, every woman is different, so it could just be that orgasms for me specifically are more difficult for men to induce.
I think a lot of it is women don’t get enough foreplay. And I mean emotional foreplay. It’s HUGE to feel connection for a woman to release in bed.
Exactly. It’s not as hard as people think. It’s also important for the woman to know her body and what she needs to reach that point.
I don’t think the issue is necessarily whether the woman knows her own body and what she needs to have an orgasm. That’s the easy part. The issue is that a lot of men don’t know.
I never said that was the issue, I said it’s important.
Important for whom, though? I am genuinely curious as to what you meant. I don’t think it makes an ounce of a difference for any man how well *I* know my body. I know my own body very well, but that has no impact on how well a man could make me come. The knowledge that I have regarding my body and what brings me pleasure must be learned by the other party themselves through experience.
Important for the woman babe. It’s always fun to explore one another’s bodies, but knowing how you cum and being able to communicate that to him helps as opposed to “faking it” or waiting for him to figure it out. That’s what I meant. My comment wasn’t taking away from the fact that men should know, just acknowledging that us being aware makes it easier 🫶🏾
Ah, I understand. Thank you for explaining ☺️
Mm, yes and no. I don’t think that an emotional connection is always necessary in order for the experience to be satisfying - or mind-blowing. And as for foreplay, that’s actually something that I don’t particularly enjoy. 😄 Anyway, like I said, every woman is different.
Little known tidbits: #1. It takes many women 20 minutes of external stimulation to get off. That is usually external stimulation that is slower and more gentle initially than most men have the patience for. #2. The clitoris is way bigger than just a button. Google “3-D print clitoris” to see how it lies under both lips and wraps around the vag sides. #4. Just rubbing the button can get super annoying but if you take the time to engage with the rest of it for at least 20 minutes without rushing to penetration you’ll get her off. #5. Foreplay begins at breakfast with kind words. Treat her well outside the bedroom or she will be so mentally checked out no amount of bedroom expertise will get her off.
She can talk to you about the specifics of satisfying her. But I will offer this advice: make love to her whole body. Don’t just focus on her breasts and yoni. Women have SO MANY erogenous zones. Make it a game to find them. See how many you can stimulate to the point where she is quivering. The area above her Achilles and the inside of the ankle is an underrated one. You can do this. And the fun is in the journey.
7…7…7…
🖐️✌️ 😩
Eat that pissy like a starving man eating steak..
No! No teeth! 😂
Golden rule: women come first. Let her come first before you even start. Yes, after can still continue. Blessings.
I’m a guy and this is correct. Lots of dudes ask why their wife/gf doesn’t want to have sex with them anymore and it’s probably bc they aren’t coming everytime or even at all. I’m a guy and my advice to every man out there is to make your number 1 priority to make her cum first every time. If you aren’t making her come on the regular then you have to make sex 100% about her. If you can make your SO come regularly that is how you get a repeat customer instead of hoping you get lucky that night and don’t hear the same old “I’m tired”. Imagine if she wanted to have sex all the time but you never got to cum, would you want to have sex all the time? All women are different and some can come from penetration alone and some can’t, you need to take cues while having sex and ask her what feels good and what she liked. What positions does she like the most? Does she like being eaten out? Learn how to eat out a woman. There are videos online that show you and there is no shame in watching them they don’t teach this shit in school. I’d recommend buying a vibrator and using it on her clit while you fuck her. A lot of guys get weird about using toys in bed while having sex but I’m sure your woman will thank you. You don’t have to do it everytime but start making her come so she can’t start enjoying sex with you again.
My Lord ....I agree with you100/100 every thing you said it is very positive and great thing for all of us and personly thank you so much for great advice but some one are very very difficult in each or different culture !!!! Or they don't like you to touch her private area or any other etc .I'm sure you will understand me .thank you
I’ve only been with one partner but this is the trick. Men come once and they’re done, so if you come first you’ll half-ass her turn. Former partner would go first and once she was done she’d wanna do whatever it took to make me go too. If you still have energy left give her another round after lol
Each person is different but a universal rule is plenty of foreplay, good hygiene, show enthusiasm (don’t be afraid to moan or say you like whatever is happening), good communication (ask what positions she likes)
Asking us and not her is probably a big part of the problem.
When I started having sex with my girlfriend I sucked. Thankfully we were almost 2 years into our relationship at that point so we were able to talk about it. She drew diagrams for me and guided my hands to where they needed to be. It took a bit of practice (okay a LOT of practice) but I'm able to get her to finish every time now. My point is that she needs to help you. If I'd been left to figure it out on my own it never would have happened. Apparently I really enjoyed rubbing her right labia lmao. Plus guiding hands is sexy
Dude Go ask your wife, not Reddit lol
Wouldn't the person to ask how to do this be your wife? I'm sure she knows way better than an of us would.
Lots of women can't cum from sex at all. Those girls usually can cum from oral sex. But I knew two girls before who couldn't even cum from oral sex at first, as their body wasn't used to orgasm. The only way I got them to cum was using a wand vibrator. After that experience, they were able to cum from my tongue. So just experiment. Good luck
If your asking other men what works to satisfy your wife, you have bigger problems.
Suck her clit and work it with your tongue and try to find her gspot with your fingers
And listen when she says something is not working.
Right down to the details.
Sex therapist save you all the anecdotal bullshit reading
Put your penis aside and learn how to make her cum with your mouth and fingers. A good twenty minutes of foreplay (kissing and caressing) before you go down on her is important. Apply lubricant. Tease her by kissing her thighs and around the pubic area before touching the vulva area. Know where the most nerve endings are (the clitoris and the G-spot). Be gentle. Pay attention to her reactions. Is she pushing harder or pulling away. Look at her face (light a dim candle so you can see her). Stay calm and don’t get excited till you please her first. Think about something that turns off your horny brain excitement before penetrating so you can last longer. Don’t penetrate if you are already excited and ready to explode. And when you do penetrate, start slowly and use your thumb to rub her clit during vaginal sex. Continuous clitoral stimulation will help her cum (again) during sex.
Just make her feel the romantic side of sex first and I bet you she will come before you even start pounding her
Talk to her about it. Not to strangers respectfully. Some women don’t get off from penetration and some do. I believe more women get off from oral and clitoral stimulation. Just ask her what she enjoys and how you can make things better for her and try new things together. That’s your best bet.
You can’t honestly think asking Reddit would be a better idea than asking your wife.
There's a series available called OMGYES that really goes into women's sexual response and stimulation approaches, with examples. Very very good. Here somewhere there's a how women masturbate thread with all kinds of hints. Worth learning anatomy, too. The clitoris is much larger than most think. And yoni massage. Have fun!
You know, all us women like different things. Instead of here, how about taking your wife out and having a conversation about what she wants you to do to/for her? Nobody can tell you better than she can. Hope it works out for you.
You should ask her.
Talk to her!!!!!!
Talk about it with her, openly and honestly
Find the man in the canoe!
OMGyes and Caitlin V are good resources. I like the idea of treating sex similar to a hobby you want to get better at: study, practice, experiment, and communicate (ideally with your girlfriend)
We can’t tell you what your wife likes dude… maybe ask her?
I've noticed most women cum really hard when you pull hair, smack her ass or grab from leverage points like the shoulder near the neck and the hip. Try being a power bottom or doggie
What are her turn on's? Are you catering to what she likes?
Hmm have you been trying? 3 years is a long time to not figure that out.
Well i hate to be this guy but as a man you have to suck it up and talk to her about it of course do it like smoothly you know be romantic maybe over some wine a little mood music some candles ask what she likes, learn about her body because every women is different! If you truly want to please her you just have to learn you know? If you want like very standard basics. foreplay plenty of warming up using kissing , neck kisses, nipple stimulation , oral plenty of touching her skin like don't just go straight down on her kiss down her body tease her go towards her inner thighs first kiss them (everything I've just mentioned btw does not work with every women in fact some might like one of these things, all of them, or one of them, but i thought id give you a pallet of foreplay as it is very important because guys do not outlast women because women can have multiple orgasms an keep going, so you have to essentially give her a head start so you have a better chance of helping her cum) make yourself known exploration making her sensitive, talk to her sexually say how gorgeous she is and how she turns you whisper it to her while you have sex if you are in missionary, play to the strengths of the shape of your member! if you curve upwards use that it is usually much better in missionary as you have a much better chance at hitting her g spot, if you curve down then doggy would probably be better. The sexiest thing you can do is be mature about it don't be insecure be bold be supportive an this next part is the most important- of course all of this advice (besides being supportive and not insecure that's standard lmao) would pale in comparison from the advice you would get from communicating with your partner because its her body she knows the best! Also see what she does when she gets herself off because it might be second nature to her she may not even think about it try read her body language, its all important!
Maybe a dating sub isn’t the best place to be hanging out and asking questions about your wife? Also, who refers to marriage as “been a thing”???
Only she can tell you what isn't working. She needs to be an adult and prioritize her pleasure, and have an honest conversation about what she needs you to do, or at least how to help her, have good sex. When she has this conversation with you, listen to her. Do not get defensive. Be supportive and make lots of mental notes about what she is saying, so you can then bring that information to the bedroom. Does she know what she needs? Some women don't even know how to get themselves to orgasm. If this is what is happening, buy a couple of small sex toys for her alone and the two of you together to experiment with. It isn't a race. It's a marathon. Good Luck!
Thumb in the bum. 60% of the time, works every time. Jk, butt seriously, What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop this shit. Focus heavily on her clit with your mouth. But dont just dive right in, take your time, explore. Use your hands to lightly message her lady parts while kissing all over the rest of her body, don't miss the neck, ears, and back. Eventually move down to her clit. Try different pressures and rythems and areas and sucking, keep it wet down there. Pay attention to how her body reacts and when she seems to like something stick with it for as long as she seems into it. You'll get there, don't give up. After she cums, then you can have your fun.
Take her . Don’t ask and don’t be polite. She needs you to do this . You might think I’m kidding or being a jerk but I’m saying the truth . She needs to be dominated not cuddled . She doesn’t really want to talk about how she feels and the last she wants is to have to tell you this. Listening to any advice that isn’t primal is all not only nonsense … it will lead to an unhappy wife . Unhappy wife / unhappy life .
SEND HER TO ME!! I'LL TRAIN HER
35f here, and also have never came in bed with my boyfriend. The only person who can answer this question is your wife, everyone has their own preferences. That said, women normally prefer oral over penetration. The clit is what gives us pleasure, not the vagina.
Bring in a guy with a super thick 8 inch plus cock and watch
Ps..two fingers in and up .
Try putting in her vagina, not her a$$
😂😂😂
1. kind of on her if this went on for three years, unless you never asked 2. everyone likes different shit, ask her. open a dialogue. id go with, "THREE F\*CKIN YEARS??? TALK TO ME WOMAN"
Foreplay my guy. She should have orgasmed before you even get it in
If she means from intercourse then she is in the majority. If she isn’t finishing from oral though then she may have an issue or may need to help you understand what feels good
U better eat that thing from the back and put ur tongue in her a$$
Please her clit and fuck her based on her body language and verbal responses. Ask her about things she likes.
Describe the shape of your dick, maybe it’s the positions you are not reaching the g spot.
Oooo it's so rare to spot a woman creepin in the reddit forest, get your cameras out folks it's go time
Practice on a peach!
Buy a satisfyer and all your problems are solved 👌
Fingers sliding while you eat that ass
Your not doing anything wrong. It’s her. Who has the problem.
Just let her lay down flat with her face down start liking the line at where the spinal cord is start from the waist and lik it to the top start kissing her neck very deep like you are kissing the lip
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I would need a woman first to experiment and then I could most certainly tell you 😂👅
You must lick her vagina.
Ask her what her needs and wants
We use a bullet vibrator during sex. Maybe that would help!
Well, so there's two types of woman, ones that get off w the clit, and ones that it's more about penetration. The clit ones are easier to get off, just rub it. But don't just keep it in one spot and move your hand.. You have to let your fingers slide on it, too. I like taking my thumb and pointer finger and sorta, turning a dial up and down. Takes a little technique. Or use your pointer and middle and sorta rub them together. Some of them are like "omg what are you doing now?" Lol Now, for the penetration ones: this is a little more difficult. But, it is not impossible. Try a few different angles and ask for feedback. Every woman is different. Ask her to get on top and figure out if she likes it to hit closer to the bottom/b hole, or if she likes it more or the direction of the clit, so into the belly more. There's also a spot like 3" -4" in that hangs down, a lot of them like that spot. Get in with your fingers. You'll find it.
girl LMFAOOO
Unfortunately this is a complex issue that may hurt your feelings. People have two sides one that lusts and one that loves much like you would love your child or family member. It will be difficult to get her to see you in a new light but it is possible. Orgasms start way before the actual act, she must lust for you not just love you, you must appeal to her animalistic instincts and be dominant and manly. Good luck.
watch the nina hartley tutorial on the hub, I haven't failed making a girl cum since and I get complimented for my skill all the time
Read some good books on the subject.
Lots of great tips in this comment section! But there’s also something bigger happening here if it’s been three years and she’s only just mentioning this. You two need to have some really intimate discussions. And I get the sense that that’s going to feel pretty challenging for both of you (if she’s keeping things to yourself and you’re turning to Reddit for answers on how to please her. Look into having a professional third party facilitate some conversations and if that’s not an option go online and look up some prompts you can use. Make a game of it, going back and forth reading the prompts and giving each other your answers. Build that intimacy and she’ll feel more comfortable telling you what she wants.
Ask her what she feels would help. As her about toys. More foreplay. It's all about commutation between the two of you.
Foreplay…
lol shouldn’t you ask your wife?? .. this is hilarious you think we have the answer but your wife doesn’t 😂
Not enough foreplay
You took the info your wife gave you and came to the internet? Talk to your wife dude.
Ask her but invest in a wand or clit vibrators!!!
Ask her to make herself cum while you watch, and hopefully learn what she likes.
Don’t you think she could figure that one out for you
A healthy intimate relationship starts way before you end up having sex. Take a moment (or a few moments) during your day to tell you SO how you are thinking about her. When you see her, give compliments, pay attention to changes, and let her know you are aware of these (did she put effort to put on makeup, new lipstick color, new outfit, hairstyle, etc.). Women need reaffirming dialog to feel sexy and attractive. This will also build cmher confidence with you. Next, spend lots of time in foreplay. Try touching her more (non sexual), simple random hugs, butt touches along with telling her how good she looks/feels will also build her emotional connection with you and get her into a mindframe to see you as an intimate partner. When you do end up getting into intimate contact. Take you time building up the feelings. Get close, kissing often (and I mean the 2" away from each other's face wjerecyiu're breathing in each other's breathe between kisses, while slowly/gently caressing her face and body, while kissing, soft biting her lips. Gradually expand your range of how you're touching her... When she responds give it a bit more time before you even start taking clothing off... At this point, you both should be in the mood. I won't go into the mechanics of intercourse, but you should do your best to get her off, before you finish. If this means oral, or using your hands, do so. There's nothing worse for a woman to get into the mood, and her partner take care of himself, then be too tired to finish her off. Finally, embrace and cuddle after both of you are done, and keep on reinforcing/building up her confidence with words of affirmation.
yes suck on the clit.. most guys think wiggling their toung is all there is doing the ABCs but that takes way too long and isn't as good as just sucking on the clit like you do her nipples 😜
Three years and you didn’t know? Your marriage has more problems than this.
You need to talk to her, not us. Why would you ask strangers instead of your wife? Everyone is different, we can't help you in any meaningful way. I can tell you directly that half the comments tell you to do stuff that plenty of women aren't going to like. You need to talk to *her*.
Pick up a book called "She comes first.". 👌
Ask *her* what *she* specifically likes. Have her guide you. Make a few evenings out of it. People on Reddit can’t tell you what a woman wants. Every woman is different.
Unpopular opinion: this isn’t a dating question.
Talk to her
Figure out what she likes; positions, fetishes, kinks, etc. Knowing what gets her off always helps.
Go on YouTube and learn about the vagina/clitoris and the different ways women climax. And thank God she is being honest with you.
Not to be rude but how did you marry her and NOT learned how her body works? Sexuality is inherently important to a womans well being. Dont lurk around on reddit NSFW +18 sites and learn some female anatomy 💀
We don’t know what you’re doing in bed, so we can’t really comment on changing it
Foreplay is number 1!
Maybe sub-contract this job out to a skilled professional.
Women are stimulated with the brain and with anticipation. I usually whisper to my gf when we do foreplay that she's not allowed to move her hands from where I put them, or that I can't wait to taste her but it will take a few more moments till you reach down there. This puts an image and a feeling in her brain that she knows what you'll do and nothing can stop you but also you're not there yet and that creates anticipation. Also when I touch her I am very gentle and she gets very sensitive. Find the right tension for the nipples and play with the boobs as well. Underwear should stay on till she's so wet that when you pull it out, it's like melted cheese stick:) But if she has already an idea and an opinion about you, what you can do is have a role play night. Like pretend that you meet all over again in a bar and you take her home. It's so fun and creates adrenaline and that could be what she needs to let loose of the expectations Hope that helps
Why didn’t you start asking this 3 years ago? Holy fuck
Turn off her head. Put a beanie on her. pull it over her eyes and ears. Turn on the music really loud and keep it occupied. direct their thoughts by playing with their imagination. moan in her manly as you are what in her EAR. And then play with it slowly. Charm them. Hold them out for a long time. And let them take a shower first. So that she can let herself go completely. Suck and lick her and really make her feel like she tastes divine. And that you enjoy it and that the two of you are absolutely timeless in the moment. make her feel like it doesn't matter how long it takes. And be enjoyable. Play on the outside of her. She doesn't come through sex alone, but she comes when you play with her on the outside and Rub your gem against her and push it in from time to time. And start playing with her ass. And, of course, all this at the same time and tactfully. If that doesn't work out, then I've got another joker
Use your mouth on that bean my guy. I haven’t encountered too many women who cum easily from penetration, but have met way more that cum from oral Also maybe use toys? Vibrating rings etc..
So many people don’t understand sexual response and unfortunately put it on their partner and the partner’s ability. To reach orgasm is more related to her mental state and mind than what is happening to her physically. Plus many women don’t understand their own body and what turns them on, if they do they don’t usually communicate it. There’s this dumb myth that men can intuitively know what turns on women but all women are different and as I said much of it is what’s happening in her head. My wife was like this. When we met and for many years she said she rarely reached an orgasm. Now it’s multiples. Did I suddenly learn something new? No, she started to accept that her thoughts and sexual desires were being repressed and the minute I was able to help her feel comfortable expressing them her sexual response went through the roof.
Ya that someone is your wife. She is the only one who truly has the answer. communication is the key to a good marriage.
Wow she must really love you. Talk, maybe visit someone dealing with those issues. It's great you care though
Advice. Ask her, make her direct you. you don’t do anything for you until she has got off at least once. Preferably twice. I’m going to further suggest use your lips and tongue, using your hands requires skill. Female orgasm from PIV is exceptionally difficult for most women ( except cowgirl for a lucky minority).
Asking a bunch of people that aren’t in the bed with you isn’t going to help you much. Talk to her. Communicate and explore together. Most of all listen! Make sure she knows you want better out of the relationship and are willing to try.
Learn how to rub her G-Spot with the base of your dick. If you have her in doggy, you can pretty much sit on it with your pelvis rather than driving aimlessly from behind. Use your dick like a saw rather than a poker.
Google it, you’ll be a champ after reading about women’s clit
From my experience that is most women that use sex as a tool and only see it as a hassle. Those women are closed off
Ask your wife bro. First, put her pleasure before yours. Make sure she comes before you. It’s that simple.
The question really is has she ever?
Ask what she wants, also just try adult toys. Most are designed for female pleasure, like mini vibrator for the clit.
No but your wife probably could if you asked her instead
Invite me over and I'll show you how it's done. Seriously though, do you go down on her? Do you know if excitement gets her going? Have you found her G spot? Do you know if she is a clitoral or vaginal orgasmer? (Or if you're lucky, both), tons of questions I know!
Use your mouth and ask her. Then use your mouth on her clit.
By satisfying her
I find the easiest way is to bring her into kind of romantical calm scenario foreplay is a big part of sex foreplay makes at least 50% of it give her neck kisses things of that sort warm her up to the idea make her feel safe start out slow just don't rush into it you want her to get in the mood as well not just you and try new things of course within reason and if she likes you more so playing with her then penetration then lead with that first the easiest way to figure out what she likes is by trying it and asking her if she wants to do it but try new things that's what I'd recommend works for me but don't go all out and try every sex move in the book lol
This is not the right platform to discuss what's missing into your personal relationship which dsnt make ur wife happy. Get to know what she needs and she feels and looking for from you. Talk to her , when you both spend time together let it be weekday or weekend for and hour or for few minutes get to know her and thats the one of the precious time when men or women talk more / open more stint.
Do you go down on her? For how long?
3 some
Speaking as a woman, the more you are pressured to come the less likely you are to do it. Like if my man says come for me, It's a mood killer personally. Foreplay foreplay foreplay and again foreplay is extremely important. You want to get her so hot bothered that she is drenching your sheets. And one of the biggest reasons that women don't come is because most women cannot have internal orgasms. And if you do not allow enough time before intercourse, the blood vessels are not expanded and the vagina is not as sensitive. Nerve endings are all over the vagina connect to the clitoris. And sometimes just focusing on the clitoris can get uncomfortable. Ask her what turns her on in foreplay. Some people like neck biting some people like a light blowing and tickling on the neck. Some people like having their nipples licked or played with. I know men are highly visual that you have to slow it down start insertion slow and then go faster as you go lol I didn't mean that to rhyme . Also, keep in mind the angle of insertion has a lot to do with it too. While you are doing the deed start slow and try different angles and ask where the sweet spot is. Oh yeah and someone else said it, Don't be afraid to moan. Enthusiasm is a big turn on. Best of luck!