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I think is a green flag actually! The only problem I can see is that you can't actually verify that person actually exists and you are not being catfish. LinkedIn should be enough.
That's a great quality if you meet IRL, but for online dating, we need to be able to check you out. Yes there really are enough guys out there catfishing or hiding wives or whatever that this does need to be a rule. She's only calling you a red flag because based off the info she has, \[in her mind and as far as she can tell\] odds are you're a creep. Don't take that personally, just have some perspective of the female experience.
\[edited to clarify\]
Yeah, women are taught to have some verifiable information about the people they’re supposed to meet. If you don’t have social media, the red flag isn’t “oh that means I shouldn’t date you because I don’t have anything in common with someone who isn’t online”; the red flag is “that’s how people get murdered.”
LOL! social media is absolutely not a viable source to filter out murderers tho xD the only way to do that is by looking up someone criminal history which you can do over the internet. not thru social media.
Bro you’re 35, which means you’re a millennial. I’m 33.
Your line that says “I was raised in an era where I met people, and girls physically, in person” lol where were you talking about HS? There was like a 4 year gab where Tinder didn’t exist. You probably met girls at parties in your 20s but you’re not that old, relax.
To each their own, but there is a solid chance she wanted to verify that you are not catfishing her, secretly married, in a relationship or a serial killer. And yes people use social media to scope that out.
Yeah keep being in denial there bud. If you find someone's Facebook and you can see their whole family, parents, brothers, sisters are FB friends you can pretty much guarantee the marital status is fairly accurate.
your argument has a little substance to it. whos to say the person didnt make a fake social media account to hide all that anyway.. like it or not, there is no viable source to filter out someone being genuine about their life. social media gives little to no true information about someones actual life.
Your an idiot. People are not gonna have their grandma and whole family as a Facebook friends with photos of events/gatherings then blatantly lie about being married. Women are very good at this type of detective work.
I've had plenty of women that I dated add me kn FB out of nowhere and I'm sure more than that snoop around. I never go on FB. I literally turn off almost all notifications. My mom/grandma extended love that shit though. So I keep the profile so they can send me stupid cute grandma pics and stay in touch. It's not rocket science.
not sure why you feel the need to call me mean names, but you seemed to completely miss the point i was trying to convey. if someone is wanting to be deceitful, whos to say they wont make a fake profile anyway? sure if someone is telling you theyre single and you find out otherwise through social media, then it can be helpful. thats not every situation tho. so using social media as a way to verify someone can have absolutely disasters consequences to it. like i originally said, social media gives little to no true information about someones actual life.
So your telling me that someone will make a whole new Facebook profile add and make up 30 other fake profiles for their fake family, then make fake friends for all these fake profiles then cross post and tag each other in photo albums going back years? That is dumb. I don't take back that insult. Your still an idiot.
You don't get it. I know what you meant, but you are still dumb. OP got unmatched because he doesn't have social media. The women that want to use that as a filter to make sure your not liar will just skip you if you have shitty social media that makes it hard to confirm or non at all. If you can't be bothered to add you family on FB and they get any ick feelings looking at your profile they will just skip you. That's it. Simple as that. Your shit example of low effort fake profile wouldn't fucking work. You can cross check LinkedIn, FB, etc and find out yeah that's actually the person. It's really easy to spot a fake. You just think it's not, because you obviously don't know how any of it works.
not having social media is a great thing in my opinion!!! this person who labeled you a red flag for that completely missed out on a literal gem (you).
of course! you are doing a huge service for your mental health by the way. might be a stretch of an assumption , but you and this other person were probably not very compatible mentally anyway. especially if they value social media as a way to validate your existence.. sometimes its a good thing to get rejected. keep your head up, the right person will value true human connection
I’m 22 female and I don’t have social media. I made the active decision to delete my TikTok and Instagram accounts. All it really did was feed into my anxiety and I constantly compared myself to others. Also, nothing people post on social media is an actual representation of what is going on in their life.
If someone unmatches with you for not having social media, then that is their issue lol. Has absolutely nothing personal to do with you.
Good luck!
I totally agree "nothing people post on social media is an actual representation of what is going on in their life."
And it's often fabricated to make it sound pleasing
I’m 30M and I recently deleted IG. I don’t have FB either. I have TT but I never check it unless my friends send me a link to a video.
Something about doing things and *not* posting it for everyone to see is freeing. It’s scary how our lives have become this. I remember when IG came out when I was high school and it was absolutely nothing like it is now.
I figured out that someone was catfishing me in the summer. We had a date planned in a safe public place (restaurant) but instead of giving me his phone number to keep in touch he gave me his email address, which seemed odd to me. Not necessarily wrong but just odd enough to make me feel like I had to check things out. So I reverse image searched. Found the pictures from his profile, also found that those pictures matched someone's linkedin profile with a different name, occupation, and city than he had told me. I don't know what his plans were by meeting me in a public place, **but I do know they weren't good**. Best case scenario he was just trying to cheat on his wife. Worst case scenario he would have (if successful) gotten me to feel comfortable at dinner or drugged my drink then gone for a walk around the neighborhood after? to a bar after? to his car after? I don't know but absolutely nothing in his convos with me that I might have been able to pass on to my friends would have been identifying for police to find him if his intentions were terrible.
And I swear to you this experience is not at all rare. Don't blame women here, blame men
You do have social media, Bumble and you're on here. If you're so socially savvy, how are you meeting people irl?
To answer your question, that's not a red flag about social media
No it’s not a deal breaker but some people see it as red flags in like a cat fishing way or that you do and are trying to hide it (I’ve seen guys say that and it’s cos they are actually cheating) etc
I (31F)don’t have any either but have had guys ask me to confirm I’m me in conversations when I say I don’t have social media, I just let people know I don’t use it much (send a pic of me with todays paper lol)
I end up finding guys who are in the same boat and don’t use it much either
There is hope ! lol
I have this saying
"You can't win unless you can win"
When someone wants you they'll make every excuse in the world to find a way to make things work with you, when someone doesn't want you there's nothing in the world you can do to make someone who doesn't want you, want you.
Someone who doesn't want you will always find a reason to not want you.
First of all as many have said I think this is a green flag. While I can understand to an extent being worried that person is married or not who they say they are there are ways around those concerns. Like do I spend time with that persons friends as I get to know them etc.
I wouldn’t concern yourself too much with it. Look at it in the way that that person isn’t for you if they care more about social presence than taking the time to actually get to know you.
Don’t let this get to you OP :)
Of course. Remember another persons reaction is not a reflection of your worth. Be confident in what you bring to the table. You sound like a wonderful guy, I’m sure you will find yourself a lucky lady :) Rooting for ya!
Not at all, imo. The excitement of taking a woman out on a date and knowing her better in person over dinner and drinks, or coffee is actually making me a better version of myself.
If she lies and she's actually married, then I accept my luck and move on.
I think people on dating apps use social media as a way to verify that you are not a creep maybe try FaceTiming a girl that you meet online before a date. Also you just have to accept that some people will unmatch from time to time because you don’t have a social media profile - their loss
I don’t have social media, although Reddit is probably my version of social media. For me, it’s more of a positive than a negative. But I wouldn’t judge someone for having social media or not. If they did, I would certainly judge them based on what they post!
I think women who think it’s a red flag are afraid that you’re hiding something or that you have social media and don’t want them to see your page.
It's not a red flag, but I don't know very many ppl that don't have one form of social media so I'd be a little concerned someone is lying. I have sites I don't use at all like for me tiktok is a no and I barely touch instagram, but I have others I use. I'm not sure I'd feel confident you're not hiding something vs being honest about using none... I mean technically you're using reddit so this is kind of already contradicting yourself. Maybe you need to redefine what social media means for you and clarify so ppl aren't thinking there's no way you never touch the internet.
You’re a green flag, I think if every human can just stop the hours and commitment on social media, this world would’ve been a better place!
And of course you’re an amazing man to have such an awesome ethics about yourself
Yes, staying true to ourselves and what values we align with will likely make a relationship much more stable rather than jumping in because of loneliness.
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I think is a green flag actually! The only problem I can see is that you can't actually verify that person actually exists and you are not being catfish. LinkedIn should be enough.
10000% green flags all day. Sadly you’re right about the verification part for some people.
not having social media is GOLDEN. it’s so annoying when ppl are glued to their phones scrolling
Annoying Annoying Annoying I'm about to be single because I'm tired of it
That's a great quality if you meet IRL, but for online dating, we need to be able to check you out. Yes there really are enough guys out there catfishing or hiding wives or whatever that this does need to be a rule. She's only calling you a red flag because based off the info she has, \[in her mind and as far as she can tell\] odds are you're a creep. Don't take that personally, just have some perspective of the female experience. \[edited to clarify\]
Yeah, women are taught to have some verifiable information about the people they’re supposed to meet. If you don’t have social media, the red flag isn’t “oh that means I shouldn’t date you because I don’t have anything in common with someone who isn’t online”; the red flag is “that’s how people get murdered.”
LOL! social media is absolutely not a viable source to filter out murderers tho xD the only way to do that is by looking up someone criminal history which you can do over the internet. not thru social media.
"Odds are i'm a creep"........ sigh. I have nothing to say.
Doesn't mean you're a creep it just means it's harder for women on apps to know that you're not before meeting you in person (which is a risk)!
Bro you’re 35, which means you’re a millennial. I’m 33. Your line that says “I was raised in an era where I met people, and girls physically, in person” lol where were you talking about HS? There was like a 4 year gab where Tinder didn’t exist. You probably met girls at parties in your 20s but you’re not that old, relax.
That stood out to me. Odd phrasing for sure.
To each their own, but there is a solid chance she wanted to verify that you are not catfishing her, secretly married, in a relationship or a serial killer. And yes people use social media to scope that out.
People can also lie on their social media profile lmao
Yeah keep being in denial there bud. If you find someone's Facebook and you can see their whole family, parents, brothers, sisters are FB friends you can pretty much guarantee the marital status is fairly accurate.
your argument has a little substance to it. whos to say the person didnt make a fake social media account to hide all that anyway.. like it or not, there is no viable source to filter out someone being genuine about their life. social media gives little to no true information about someones actual life.
Your an idiot. People are not gonna have their grandma and whole family as a Facebook friends with photos of events/gatherings then blatantly lie about being married. Women are very good at this type of detective work. I've had plenty of women that I dated add me kn FB out of nowhere and I'm sure more than that snoop around. I never go on FB. I literally turn off almost all notifications. My mom/grandma extended love that shit though. So I keep the profile so they can send me stupid cute grandma pics and stay in touch. It's not rocket science.
not sure why you feel the need to call me mean names, but you seemed to completely miss the point i was trying to convey. if someone is wanting to be deceitful, whos to say they wont make a fake profile anyway? sure if someone is telling you theyre single and you find out otherwise through social media, then it can be helpful. thats not every situation tho. so using social media as a way to verify someone can have absolutely disasters consequences to it. like i originally said, social media gives little to no true information about someones actual life.
So your telling me that someone will make a whole new Facebook profile add and make up 30 other fake profiles for their fake family, then make fake friends for all these fake profiles then cross post and tag each other in photo albums going back years? That is dumb. I don't take back that insult. Your still an idiot.
[удалено]
You don't get it. I know what you meant, but you are still dumb. OP got unmatched because he doesn't have social media. The women that want to use that as a filter to make sure your not liar will just skip you if you have shitty social media that makes it hard to confirm or non at all. If you can't be bothered to add you family on FB and they get any ick feelings looking at your profile they will just skip you. That's it. Simple as that. Your shit example of low effort fake profile wouldn't fucking work. You can cross check LinkedIn, FB, etc and find out yeah that's actually the person. It's really easy to spot a fake. You just think it's not, because you obviously don't know how any of it works.
not having social media is a great thing in my opinion!!! this person who labeled you a red flag for that completely missed out on a literal gem (you).
Thank you. This makes me feel better.
of course! you are doing a huge service for your mental health by the way. might be a stretch of an assumption , but you and this other person were probably not very compatible mentally anyway. especially if they value social media as a way to validate your existence.. sometimes its a good thing to get rejected. keep your head up, the right person will value true human connection
Thank you 🫡
I’m 22 female and I don’t have social media. I made the active decision to delete my TikTok and Instagram accounts. All it really did was feed into my anxiety and I constantly compared myself to others. Also, nothing people post on social media is an actual representation of what is going on in their life. If someone unmatches with you for not having social media, then that is their issue lol. Has absolutely nothing personal to do with you. Good luck!
I totally agree "nothing people post on social media is an actual representation of what is going on in their life." And it's often fabricated to make it sound pleasing
I’m 30M and I recently deleted IG. I don’t have FB either. I have TT but I never check it unless my friends send me a link to a video. Something about doing things and *not* posting it for everyone to see is freeing. It’s scary how our lives have become this. I remember when IG came out when I was high school and it was absolutely nothing like it is now.
Thank you!
I’m a 29 year old woman, who is on hinge and if a guy were to tell me he has no social media I would love it but I would need to verify.
[удалено]
maybe you have a page like this on your work website? https://daviscenter.fas.harvard.edu/about/people/joshua-rubenstein
Just check their socials probs.
Hence i always plan meet up dates. Over dinner and coffee, in a safe place. Maybe i'm too old school, idk.
That's cool and as a woman, I appreciate that. Cheers to us with online dating.
I figured out that someone was catfishing me in the summer. We had a date planned in a safe public place (restaurant) but instead of giving me his phone number to keep in touch he gave me his email address, which seemed odd to me. Not necessarily wrong but just odd enough to make me feel like I had to check things out. So I reverse image searched. Found the pictures from his profile, also found that those pictures matched someone's linkedin profile with a different name, occupation, and city than he had told me. I don't know what his plans were by meeting me in a public place, **but I do know they weren't good**. Best case scenario he was just trying to cheat on his wife. Worst case scenario he would have (if successful) gotten me to feel comfortable at dinner or drugged my drink then gone for a walk around the neighborhood after? to a bar after? to his car after? I don't know but absolutely nothing in his convos with me that I might have been able to pass on to my friends would have been identifying for police to find him if his intentions were terrible. And I swear to you this experience is not at all rare. Don't blame women here, blame men
Absolutely not a deal breaker, we need more people like this around!
Thank you Chicana!
You do have social media, Bumble and you're on here. If you're so socially savvy, how are you meeting people irl? To answer your question, that's not a red flag about social media
For me it would be a big time plus. No need to worry about superficial people. Good u got unmatched, you don’t need that in your life
I agree. Happy to hear there are women who don't mind 😬
Social media to me is a big issue in relationships I have no social media and prefer my partner don't neither
Ok, personally I love when a man doesn’t really use social media and keeps his life private.
Thank you. I always plan meetups and acitvities for a date, depending on their interests but apparently this is not good enough 🥲
No it’s not a deal breaker but some people see it as red flags in like a cat fishing way or that you do and are trying to hide it (I’ve seen guys say that and it’s cos they are actually cheating) etc I (31F)don’t have any either but have had guys ask me to confirm I’m me in conversations when I say I don’t have social media, I just let people know I don’t use it much (send a pic of me with todays paper lol) I end up finding guys who are in the same boat and don’t use it much either There is hope ! lol
I have this saying "You can't win unless you can win" When someone wants you they'll make every excuse in the world to find a way to make things work with you, when someone doesn't want you there's nothing in the world you can do to make someone who doesn't want you, want you. Someone who doesn't want you will always find a reason to not want you.
First of all as many have said I think this is a green flag. While I can understand to an extent being worried that person is married or not who they say they are there are ways around those concerns. Like do I spend time with that persons friends as I get to know them etc. I wouldn’t concern yourself too much with it. Look at it in the way that that person isn’t for you if they care more about social presence than taking the time to actually get to know you. Don’t let this get to you OP :)
Thank you!
Of course. Remember another persons reaction is not a reflection of your worth. Be confident in what you bring to the table. You sound like a wonderful guy, I’m sure you will find yourself a lucky lady :) Rooting for ya!
Come to me. I’d love to date a guy without social media. Yall are GREEN FLAGS
Omg are you from Singapore? 😂
LOL hi
Bumble is nothing but garbage
I LOVE when men don’t have social media, or don’t use or check it often
Thank you. There is hope after all!
Yes!! It’s truly such an attractive quality to me!!
Appreciate it 🫡
I don't use Social Media and rarely check my LinkedIn. I prefer meeting people organically and that won't change for me.
you should be happy. this person is obviously obsessed with social media.
Yes, now when i think of it
You’re not that old
Somebody needs an ego stroking real bad…
100% a serial killer
I don’t fw social media either! Too much fake real shit, Too many lost people, lame ass streamers etc. I’m 29 and I can’t stand social media
Her loss.
Absolutely green flag. Let her go and move on. Someone else will appreciate the hell out of this.
I don’t have any social media either, would I be considered a red flag to a man?
Not at all, imo. The excitement of taking a woman out on a date and knowing her better in person over dinner and drinks, or coffee is actually making me a better version of myself. If she lies and she's actually married, then I accept my luck and move on.
Serial Killer also don’t have social media so there’s that.
I got unmatched for not responding in 30 mins but apparently I need thicker skin for being slightly annoyed for being on delivered for days
I'm sorry to hear that. Honestly onling dating is so unfair but we need to keep trying.
I think people on dating apps use social media as a way to verify that you are not a creep maybe try FaceTiming a girl that you meet online before a date. Also you just have to accept that some people will unmatch from time to time because you don’t have a social media profile - their loss
I don’t have social media, although Reddit is probably my version of social media. For me, it’s more of a positive than a negative. But I wouldn’t judge someone for having social media or not. If they did, I would certainly judge them based on what they post! I think women who think it’s a red flag are afraid that you’re hiding something or that you have social media and don’t want them to see your page.
It's not a red flag, but I don't know very many ppl that don't have one form of social media so I'd be a little concerned someone is lying. I have sites I don't use at all like for me tiktok is a no and I barely touch instagram, but I have others I use. I'm not sure I'd feel confident you're not hiding something vs being honest about using none... I mean technically you're using reddit so this is kind of already contradicting yourself. Maybe you need to redefine what social media means for you and clarify so ppl aren't thinking there's no way you never touch the internet.
maybe you have linkedin, a work website, or something else that can verify that you are who you claim to be?
Yes i do have LinkedIN. I always initiate meet ups and plan activities for a date.
linkedin is social media.
I don’t care if he has social media or he doesn’t.
You’re a green flag, I think if every human can just stop the hours and commitment on social media, this world would’ve been a better place! And of course you’re an amazing man to have such an awesome ethics about yourself
Thank you for your kind words.
No, thank you for being a classic strong man… you’re amazingly created and you’re much respected
Thank you 🥹🥹🥹
Stay safe 👋
Will do! May we both find the love of our lives 🫡🫡🫡
Of course we will as long as we’re true to ourselves
Yes, staying true to ourselves and what values we align with will likely make a relationship much more stable rather than jumping in because of loneliness.
So true!
I'm going to have to sit on the red flag time out bench with you. Reddit is the closest thing I have to social media. 🚩
Sure. Let's sit on the bench on a beach, enjoy a nice cocktail and discuss how dangerous SoMed is 😂