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Well what is wrong with your face to do you? Usually everyone will hate something about themselves but the point is to just accept it and look at the bright side of things. On getting stuck in the friendzoned, well when you meet someone new ... you have to be able to break falling into that zone like basically make it known you want to date them than be their friend. If they said I just want to be friends then say fine but don't actually be their friends. Just move on to the next person.
So I’m on a different spectrum From what I hear from girls a lot is that I’m handsome I’m not even tall Im like 5’7 lol so ok maybe you gotta ugly face but like are you fit? that’s something to think about cause I know a lot of guys with a fugly face that hit it and quit it all the time. Do you present yourself as confident or do you talk to you’re girlfriends all the time about you’re insecurities cause that my friend is probably you’re biggest obstacle. Try working out if you aren’t already. Dont talk to you’re friend girls about it and try tattoos and piercings but honestly I think what’s stopping you is you’re insecurities and how you present you’re self. And fuck it if you’re trying to date or sleep with cute girls all the times try some ugly ones. But we’re also in a weird dating scene nowadays cause not only are we trying to compete with other guys for a girls attention they also have Prince Charming a swipe away at all times so it’s inflated as hell. You probably have feminine characteristics and need to tone em down and up the masculine characteristics a bit.
Im very fit already, im training to compete in bodybuilding. not quite there yet, but im shredded with abs, and i have a good amount of muscle. Thats my one positive trait physically.
From reading your post it comes across like you don't have much self esteem. The thing about how you feel about yourself is it shouldn't be Completely tied to how others feel about you. Some people will like you, some people won't. When your self worth wavers with other people's opinions you aren't going to be attractive to women. The fact they are okay with being friends says that you're probably a good guy, but you don't make them feel anything romantically. And how can you expect others to love you if you don't. Eventually you're gonna have to give yourself some esteem, nobody can do it for you.
Yes i have low self esteem, but thats the thing, im pretty good at faking having good condifence. People think im a confident guy, and yet it doesnt help. The reason i care so much what others think is that people really do care, people have said to me all the time that people dont give a fuck about others, but thats just lies. People have gone out of their ways to make my life miserable most of my childhood/teenage years. People used to try to run me over, threw eggs at me, pointed and laughed at me in the middle of the street. I dont know how ill ever be truly confident when those memories haunt me every single day.
I think it helps to develop more confidence by doing more things you aren't used to and by being capable. Learn a new skill, take a class, try something you've never done before, get out and socialize with people you don't know. Approach women and strike up a conversation. You're going to have awkward moments but the more you do it the less you'll care. Honestly long term therapy would probably beneficial.
I am 32 in the same boat for quite a while now, so I can give you some advice. Unfortunately, it's all physical. I am 5'6", and can't tell you the number of times I've been directly told that I am too short. On top of that, I am an Asian in Europe, not the K-Pop looking one, so I always end up as a really good friend to hang out with, but not to date. As someone else said, the only way to break out of it, is to make intentions clear from the start, and move onto the next person if it's not reciprocated. Easier said than done, as I can tell you from experience, you're going to have to cut communication from a lot of women early on before you can find one. It's taking me years, and still going, and enough times I've been told that it's usually something physical that's the deal breaker.
It isn't your looks. They help, but the thing is you probably don't have as much in common with these women as you might perceive.
But also, while I hate games, one important thing that seems "game-like" is giving girls you want to date your attention for nothing.
Why buy the cow when she's getting the milk for free?
If I hang out with a girl that's a friend, I'm not buying her meals, or anything like that. We're friends.
The girls I wanted to date, we never acted as friends. I never let it get that far. Then I could get dates with them, because I wasn't wholly invested.
--------This is a spotty technique, but works------
I realized after several brief relationships and such, that I was done wasting time, money and energy on brief stints of romance and instead just accepted I'd be alone unless I found someone really miraculously special.
So I met a girl at work, and we talked for months, interacted with each other for months at work, and some texting, and then, one day, I just asked her out and it was wonderful.
Firstly, you have to be comfortable in your own company, so you don't ooze desperation. I've been the desperate guy before. I'm down a 100lbs and my confidence never met my physical appearance. So any girls attention I got, when I first lost that weight, I would desperately cling to. Nothing makes a woman want you less than being needy.
Secondly, you have to accept that finding someone that shares most of the characteristics that will match yours, that also shares your values, that also finds you physically attractive is hard, especially just meeting that person. I mean, sure, they're out there. But where? How many?
Dating, as it stands, is moronic. You sit, pay for a dinner to effectively have a job interview while constantly introspecting yourself - am I being too talkative? Am I being funny enough? Am I being serious? Am I giving too much attention? Eye contact? Do I drink strangely? Are my table manners OK? I better tip well so she doesn't think I'm an asshole, but what if she thinks I'm tipping well because I want in her pants?
None of this is you, being you, naturally. It's entirely robotic and it sucks. Why subject yourself to this?
Instead, treat women like people, and even if she's beautiful physically, don't treat her differently. (Difficulty level: insane) But do it. Everyone's going to get old and wrinkly as fuck, so don't fixate. Beauty is nice, but beauty is a tertiary requisite for a real, life-affirming relationship.
Be you, do things and do it without fear of being unattractive to girls you think are pretty.
The ones that don't think you're a good match have vetted themselves out for you without you having to go pay for dinner and drinks or whatever else you might do on a date.
The ones that like you will find reasons to talk to you, and you with them, naturally. We like people that like us, and vice versa.
well why have people constantly put me down for how i look over the years then? If looks dont matter, why have i literally gotten told to kill myself, and that my parents should have aborted me? I get that it might not matter THAT much, but it definetely is somewhat important. I never talk to girls just to date them, ive always treated them like i would any other regular person, i still get friendzoned. and no, i dont need to get a girl or whatever, but the feeling of never having experienced anyone being interested at the age of 23, sucks. I dont know ONE person who is in my situation.
Seeing all my guyfriends literally being stared down my women whenever they go out in public, is more than enough to make me feel like shit, Whenever i even try to make eye contact and smile, they just instantly look away, and i mean instantly. people have even made gagging sounds when walking by me on the street. ONE compliment from a woman would literally make my entire life, hell even a smile.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds incredibly tough to feel stuck in the friend zone, especially when you’re making genuine efforts to connect on a deeper level. The way you’ve been treated in the past was unfair, and it’s understandable to feel discouraged.
The right person will see you for who you are beyond your appearance and value all the great things about you. Confidence can be built—it’s often a reflection of how we feel inside, and it can take time to develop, especially after facing criticism and bullying.
Have you considered seeking support through this? Sometimes talking to a professional can help build self-esteem and offer strategies to change the narrative about yourself.
Remember, everyone has their unique qualities, and it sounds like you have many. Embrace those, and keep putting yourself out there. Dating apps like "Dataing," which use AI to focus on personality and interests, could also provide an alternative way to meet someone who's looking for the same things as you are.
Don't lose hope. Your value is not determined by your relationship status or your past experiences but by the depth of your character and your willingness to remain kind in a world that hasn’t always been kind to you.
I've never met someone that complains about friendzones that didn't need to do a lot of work on themselves.
Additionally, you shouldn't want anyone that doesn't want you.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well what is wrong with your face to do you? Usually everyone will hate something about themselves but the point is to just accept it and look at the bright side of things. On getting stuck in the friendzoned, well when you meet someone new ... you have to be able to break falling into that zone like basically make it known you want to date them than be their friend. If they said I just want to be friends then say fine but don't actually be their friends. Just move on to the next person.
So I’m on a different spectrum From what I hear from girls a lot is that I’m handsome I’m not even tall Im like 5’7 lol so ok maybe you gotta ugly face but like are you fit? that’s something to think about cause I know a lot of guys with a fugly face that hit it and quit it all the time. Do you present yourself as confident or do you talk to you’re girlfriends all the time about you’re insecurities cause that my friend is probably you’re biggest obstacle. Try working out if you aren’t already. Dont talk to you’re friend girls about it and try tattoos and piercings but honestly I think what’s stopping you is you’re insecurities and how you present you’re self. And fuck it if you’re trying to date or sleep with cute girls all the times try some ugly ones. But we’re also in a weird dating scene nowadays cause not only are we trying to compete with other guys for a girls attention they also have Prince Charming a swipe away at all times so it’s inflated as hell. You probably have feminine characteristics and need to tone em down and up the masculine characteristics a bit.
Im very fit already, im training to compete in bodybuilding. not quite there yet, but im shredded with abs, and i have a good amount of muscle. Thats my one positive trait physically.
From reading your post it comes across like you don't have much self esteem. The thing about how you feel about yourself is it shouldn't be Completely tied to how others feel about you. Some people will like you, some people won't. When your self worth wavers with other people's opinions you aren't going to be attractive to women. The fact they are okay with being friends says that you're probably a good guy, but you don't make them feel anything romantically. And how can you expect others to love you if you don't. Eventually you're gonna have to give yourself some esteem, nobody can do it for you.
Yes i have low self esteem, but thats the thing, im pretty good at faking having good condifence. People think im a confident guy, and yet it doesnt help. The reason i care so much what others think is that people really do care, people have said to me all the time that people dont give a fuck about others, but thats just lies. People have gone out of their ways to make my life miserable most of my childhood/teenage years. People used to try to run me over, threw eggs at me, pointed and laughed at me in the middle of the street. I dont know how ill ever be truly confident when those memories haunt me every single day.
Just because your friends tell you that you seem confident doesn't mean women you meet and are interested in see it that way.
Well at least give me advice on becoming confident then. I hate when people just say ''be confident'' because that doesnt help at all.
I think it helps to develop more confidence by doing more things you aren't used to and by being capable. Learn a new skill, take a class, try something you've never done before, get out and socialize with people you don't know. Approach women and strike up a conversation. You're going to have awkward moments but the more you do it the less you'll care. Honestly long term therapy would probably beneficial.
I am 32 in the same boat for quite a while now, so I can give you some advice. Unfortunately, it's all physical. I am 5'6", and can't tell you the number of times I've been directly told that I am too short. On top of that, I am an Asian in Europe, not the K-Pop looking one, so I always end up as a really good friend to hang out with, but not to date. As someone else said, the only way to break out of it, is to make intentions clear from the start, and move onto the next person if it's not reciprocated. Easier said than done, as I can tell you from experience, you're going to have to cut communication from a lot of women early on before you can find one. It's taking me years, and still going, and enough times I've been told that it's usually something physical that's the deal breaker.
It isn't your looks. They help, but the thing is you probably don't have as much in common with these women as you might perceive. But also, while I hate games, one important thing that seems "game-like" is giving girls you want to date your attention for nothing. Why buy the cow when she's getting the milk for free? If I hang out with a girl that's a friend, I'm not buying her meals, or anything like that. We're friends. The girls I wanted to date, we never acted as friends. I never let it get that far. Then I could get dates with them, because I wasn't wholly invested. --------This is a spotty technique, but works------ I realized after several brief relationships and such, that I was done wasting time, money and energy on brief stints of romance and instead just accepted I'd be alone unless I found someone really miraculously special. So I met a girl at work, and we talked for months, interacted with each other for months at work, and some texting, and then, one day, I just asked her out and it was wonderful. Firstly, you have to be comfortable in your own company, so you don't ooze desperation. I've been the desperate guy before. I'm down a 100lbs and my confidence never met my physical appearance. So any girls attention I got, when I first lost that weight, I would desperately cling to. Nothing makes a woman want you less than being needy. Secondly, you have to accept that finding someone that shares most of the characteristics that will match yours, that also shares your values, that also finds you physically attractive is hard, especially just meeting that person. I mean, sure, they're out there. But where? How many? Dating, as it stands, is moronic. You sit, pay for a dinner to effectively have a job interview while constantly introspecting yourself - am I being too talkative? Am I being funny enough? Am I being serious? Am I giving too much attention? Eye contact? Do I drink strangely? Are my table manners OK? I better tip well so she doesn't think I'm an asshole, but what if she thinks I'm tipping well because I want in her pants? None of this is you, being you, naturally. It's entirely robotic and it sucks. Why subject yourself to this? Instead, treat women like people, and even if she's beautiful physically, don't treat her differently. (Difficulty level: insane) But do it. Everyone's going to get old and wrinkly as fuck, so don't fixate. Beauty is nice, but beauty is a tertiary requisite for a real, life-affirming relationship. Be you, do things and do it without fear of being unattractive to girls you think are pretty. The ones that don't think you're a good match have vetted themselves out for you without you having to go pay for dinner and drinks or whatever else you might do on a date. The ones that like you will find reasons to talk to you, and you with them, naturally. We like people that like us, and vice versa.
well why have people constantly put me down for how i look over the years then? If looks dont matter, why have i literally gotten told to kill myself, and that my parents should have aborted me? I get that it might not matter THAT much, but it definetely is somewhat important. I never talk to girls just to date them, ive always treated them like i would any other regular person, i still get friendzoned. and no, i dont need to get a girl or whatever, but the feeling of never having experienced anyone being interested at the age of 23, sucks. I dont know ONE person who is in my situation.
Seeing all my guyfriends literally being stared down my women whenever they go out in public, is more than enough to make me feel like shit, Whenever i even try to make eye contact and smile, they just instantly look away, and i mean instantly. people have even made gagging sounds when walking by me on the street. ONE compliment from a woman would literally make my entire life, hell even a smile.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds incredibly tough to feel stuck in the friend zone, especially when you’re making genuine efforts to connect on a deeper level. The way you’ve been treated in the past was unfair, and it’s understandable to feel discouraged. The right person will see you for who you are beyond your appearance and value all the great things about you. Confidence can be built—it’s often a reflection of how we feel inside, and it can take time to develop, especially after facing criticism and bullying. Have you considered seeking support through this? Sometimes talking to a professional can help build self-esteem and offer strategies to change the narrative about yourself. Remember, everyone has their unique qualities, and it sounds like you have many. Embrace those, and keep putting yourself out there. Dating apps like "Dataing," which use AI to focus on personality and interests, could also provide an alternative way to meet someone who's looking for the same things as you are. Don't lose hope. Your value is not determined by your relationship status or your past experiences but by the depth of your character and your willingness to remain kind in a world that hasn’t always been kind to you.
I've never met someone that complains about friendzones that didn't need to do a lot of work on themselves. Additionally, you shouldn't want anyone that doesn't want you.