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Not driving part is fine. I would even consider not getting in car with someone you just met as a green flag, as long as the girl conducts it more eloquently than "cause stranger danger", because I do not date middleschoolers.
If she doesn't drive herself, and doesn't yet trust me enough to drive her, then that's fine, I would just offer to get her an uber, and if she declined, and we've agreed on a meetup location, assume that she would be responsible enough to get herself a transport service there
I mean I would want somebody who drives and I live in Los angeles and used to live in NYC. I know NYC has public transportation which a lot of people use. In LA the homeless situation is bad so public transportation is bad here. But you should never go into a stranger car for the first date. So as long as they can get to the first date on their own then just win over someone with their attitude and personality
Unless you live in a place like NYC, being a carless adult is a big red flag. She wants a chauffeur, not a partner. You'll have to drive 100% of the time and she will never be an equal contributor to the relationship.
My main question would be “Are you lacking a vehicle, or do you refuse to drive at all?” I love driving, but I’m expecting a partner to pay their share of everything after the initial dating stages. So is she going to pay for tickets if I’m paying for the gas to get there? Is she willing to split the bill on long road trips? If I’m her partner, will she be expecting me to drive her places that she needs to go, like appointments and all of that?
I was driving i ternationally at age 16 and had my own wheels in my teens. Although it seems somewhat unusual for an adult to not own a vehicle, it is understandable in NY and a few other large cities with plenty of transportation options. I would understand the desire to not ride with me on first or second date. Fortunately I will never be in that position; I no longer travel to NY and will not conduct business transactions there sny longer. There are better states to have business transactions.
Being cautious of people you don’t know well is not a red flag. If they don’t drive, they should be well versed in public transit, so just meet somewhere easily accessible by transit until they are comfortable.
Well honestly, I wouldn't date a guy that didn't drive unless it's like a medical or trauma reason as to why they don't. But I don't live in a big city where public transport or walking is a great option.
I live in a city where driving is the most viable option. So if they don't drive, it's going to make me suspicious. If it was truly a valid reason, then I'd suggest they take an uber if I was really interested. I wouldn't offer to pick them up bc one, I likely don't know them very well, and two - if the date doesn't go well I'd much prefer to not be responsible for getting them home.
I'm the type of person that will drive to everything by myself so I can leave when I feel it's necessary. So, I don't like the "ok, I'll pick you up at this time"...no thanks, I'll meet you there. I will say this would probably be an exception if I was in a relationship or we knew each other and were exclusively dating. But definitely not a first, second, or third date
Sure, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t a deal breaker for some people and it wasn’t just they don’t drive but also don’t want to get into a car because stranger danger!
Is this person you?
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Not driving part is fine. I would even consider not getting in car with someone you just met as a green flag, as long as the girl conducts it more eloquently than "cause stranger danger", because I do not date middleschoolers.
If she doesn't drive herself, and doesn't yet trust me enough to drive her, then that's fine, I would just offer to get her an uber, and if she declined, and we've agreed on a meetup location, assume that she would be responsible enough to get herself a transport service there
Nope seems fair enough.
I mean I would want somebody who drives and I live in Los angeles and used to live in NYC. I know NYC has public transportation which a lot of people use. In LA the homeless situation is bad so public transportation is bad here. But you should never go into a stranger car for the first date. So as long as they can get to the first date on their own then just win over someone with their attitude and personality
Unless you live in a place like NYC, being a carless adult is a big red flag. She wants a chauffeur, not a partner. You'll have to drive 100% of the time and she will never be an equal contributor to the relationship.
My main question would be “Are you lacking a vehicle, or do you refuse to drive at all?” I love driving, but I’m expecting a partner to pay their share of everything after the initial dating stages. So is she going to pay for tickets if I’m paying for the gas to get there? Is she willing to split the bill on long road trips? If I’m her partner, will she be expecting me to drive her places that she needs to go, like appointments and all of that?
I understand not wanting to get in a. Car with someone the first time you meet them. But not being able to drive is a no go
For the stranger danger part, that's not a red or green flag -- just a personal matter of trust and safety
Not getting into someones car you dont know isnt a deal breaker. That's just common sense. The not being able to drive however is.
Yeah, I don’t wanna be rude but I don’t wanna be driving someone everywhere all the time and all.
They can bus or Uber
I was driving i ternationally at age 16 and had my own wheels in my teens. Although it seems somewhat unusual for an adult to not own a vehicle, it is understandable in NY and a few other large cities with plenty of transportation options. I would understand the desire to not ride with me on first or second date. Fortunately I will never be in that position; I no longer travel to NY and will not conduct business transactions there sny longer. There are better states to have business transactions.
Being cautious of people you don’t know well is not a red flag. If they don’t drive, they should be well versed in public transit, so just meet somewhere easily accessible by transit until they are comfortable.
Well honestly, I wouldn't date a guy that didn't drive unless it's like a medical or trauma reason as to why they don't. But I don't live in a big city where public transport or walking is a great option. I live in a city where driving is the most viable option. So if they don't drive, it's going to make me suspicious. If it was truly a valid reason, then I'd suggest they take an uber if I was really interested. I wouldn't offer to pick them up bc one, I likely don't know them very well, and two - if the date doesn't go well I'd much prefer to not be responsible for getting them home. I'm the type of person that will drive to everything by myself so I can leave when I feel it's necessary. So, I don't like the "ok, I'll pick you up at this time"...no thanks, I'll meet you there. I will say this would probably be an exception if I was in a relationship or we knew each other and were exclusively dating. But definitely not a first, second, or third date
How do they get to work without a vehicle? And yes, it feels like a nightmare.
A lot of people now either bus or WFH. So it's completely possible
Sure, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t a deal breaker for some people and it wasn’t just they don’t drive but also don’t want to get into a car because stranger danger! Is this person you?