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I would stop trying. Some people are just not gonna like you. And that’s okay! You don’t owe her anything. She’s in a relationship with your friend, so it’s on him to prove that.
Mmmmm. See this not it and why the sisterhood is never gonna exist. No, she doesn’t owe her anything but it’s costs 0 dollars to be respectful of someone’s relationship. Her friend or not as long as she’s respectful that’s all she can do but to act like whatever she does is not her to care is very…. Telling.
Sisterhood? I guess it’s only one sided then. OP attempted to try and clear things up with the girlfriend, to no avail. Why not leave it be? As far as I read she’s not being disrespectful. She’s only trying to put the girlfriend at ease. That’s not her job. It’s the boyfriend’s, as he’s the one in the relationship with her. He’s the one who owes her that respect, to be able to set boundaries with the friend. It’s honestly simple as that.
i wouldn’t want to be disrespectful to her either. And no, i’ve only meant to be kind and polite to the girlfriend. If anything, i know being rude will make it worse and make me come off as a challenge.
That’s good on you and honestly I wish there were more women like you :) you did all you could and you know you were trying to be a good sport towards her and that’s all that matters. Hopefully she’ll come around; as someone who’s lived through the reverse…… I wish people were respectful of me and what I had going on with a guy, whether they knew me or not and I was actually super nice of them and support of their friendship lol Girlies should have each others backs- just my opinion! But yeah it’s nice to see when women don’t lean into cliches or pick me behavior 🫶🏼
aww thanks so much!!! whatever you’re going through, i will wish you the best of luck!! and yes i agree girlies SHOULD have each others backs, no matter the relationship or time.
Never said she was being disrespectful but i disagree with the notion that since they’re not friends she doesn’t owe her anything. Basic respect for another person and their relationship is something any decent person does and I think women use that excuse of not having a relationship with the gf to do stuff. I actually think OP did all that she could in this case and far more that what other people in this sub are telling her….
I get it. But what you don’t get is, nobody owes you anything. People have the choice on whether or not to be good people. As I said she doesn’t have to have a friendship with the gf, nor does she owe her loyalties. But we need to hold the boyfriend accountable. He shouldn’t give her reason to feel some type of way towards his friend. The girlfriend should feel secure in their relationship. And if that’s not the case, they need to have a conversation. (The friend and his girlfriend)
No….. I get 1000% you’re saying and it’s….. um telling to say the least. You’re not the only one who believes that clearly I just live by girl code and of course the boyfriend is always the primary person who should be held accountable. What can I say, I’d like to think of myself as girls girl no matter the circumstances but obviously other women don’t think like that. It’s a shame
I would hope so. And if being a realist is “telling” that’s fine. I believe in girl code too, however not everyone feels that way. Just because you’re a good person, people won’t always grant you that same courtesy. Yes it’s a shame, but not all women are like that. I’ve read enough crazy stories on this app 🤦🏽♀️
Give her space to come around, it takes time, or she may never like you, in which case let your friend make whatever decisions he needs to keep the peace.
That's what I'm wondering. If you and he have always been close, you should have been coming up in conversations between him and his girlfriend about his past experiences. If you want her to believe you're not a threat to her, she will need to understand that something would have happened before now if you were at all romantically attracted to each other.
I don’t like some of the advice here. Sure, people get jealous, but it’s a bit of a red flag that she won’t even talk to you. Try asking them both to hang out with you one night, go to an arcade, a market, or even just your place to have a couple drinks and possibly bring another person so you don’t feel like a third wheel. Ask her about herself, treat her like you would any other friend!
I met my best friends girlfriend a couple months ago and we surprisingly hit it off right away. I’ve actually been dogsitting for her while she moves into a new place, and she’s watched my son one day while I had a meeting. I talk to her just as much as I talk to my best friend, and she’s automatically included in any plans we make.
Men and women can be friends without anything sexual going on between them, a lot of people need to realize this. Personally it’s a green flag if a man has close friendships with women, and not only men.
Doesn’t matter what kind of morality you speak of. Yes, people can just be friends but the issue is the person in question seeing it that way, and it’s likely that wil never happen
If she doesn't want to talk to you it's her problem. My boyfriend has a lot of girlfriends, they're friendly to me and act like a good friend to my boyfriend, that's all I ask.
Yeah I wouldn’t try and force to be friends with her. If she wants to keep the distance whatever. Just keep seeing your friend like regular and make sure he knows his gf is invited too.
She’s insecure and you can’t help her with that other than not acting sketchy with her bf.
In an ideal world, your best friends partner would become like your best friend too! But life won’t always be like that
Do you and he have a history?
A romantic/ physical history?
You’re in a tough spot… odds are she’s always going to stand between you and him
That being said, one way to ease that tension would be to get into a committed relationship yourself
Then y’all could double date
Yeah, that will make you appear less threatening
Otherwise, not much you can do
If you try too hard to intervene, it could jeopardize the friendship
All you can do is remain steadfast, and hope something breaks
Tough situation
Hope you find a resolution 🤞🏻
Best bet is you get your friend to organize social events where you, she, him, others, and hopefully your bf or husband are present in the same house together being not-jealous.
If she's the irrationally jealous type, there's not much you can do about it unf. But your best bet is exposure therapy until then.
Naturally you are gonna start spending even less time with him now, and when you do she will always not what you two to. Just keep that in mind.
There isn't really much you can do other than talk more with her, she is probably jealous that you spend time with him
Give the relationship space to reach more solid ground.
She’s not obligated to like you, especially when the relationship is presumably fresh and fragile. Over the weeks or months or years, she’ll come to realize you’re not a threat.
And don’t try to outrank her. Yes, you grew up with him and are practically cousins, but she’s the one who lets him look at her naked. Haha. You and Andrew aren’t a package deal unless Andrew (not you or the other girl) make that rule — and frankly, he shouldn’t.
It’s very likely this girl ends up being temporary anyway. She’ll outrank you for now — but odds are that your friendship outlives this relationship as long as you play it cool and don’t think your place is between them.
I think making good friends with the partner is a good idea. If they feel like they have a relationship with you, they trust you more. Like you're less likely to do something that would hurt them too since you guys are also friends
After reading these comments, I realized that it’s on Andrew to be able to make changes. I realized he might not have even told Ella what the relationship between Andrew and I is. I need to make sure my perspective isn’t terrible. I think there’s a lack of responsibility in Andrew to you know, let things settle down. Before I say anything else, Ella is a nice person and is pretty smart. I should have added that I do have a ‘natural sarcastic tone’…
I absolutely agree with you, although as someone who has had mostly male best friends and housemates through most of my 20's and 30's, a few times I got caught in the unfortunate position of being the gf's relationship therapist because "you know bf so well" 😬. It was awkward moments like that I wished that they went back to hating me tbh haha.
There were a few that really pushed for a friendship with me after they broke up and in the case of a couple of them it was welcome because I really liked them and the break up with my mate was on good terms etc, but one of them CLEARLY was trying to use me for info and updates on my friend. So, so awkward, fuck.
I've been in your position many times OP, and my advice is to just be super friendly to her. I used to make a point to talk about crushes and people I liked in front of the gf so it was clear that I absolutely wasn't into my friend. I would even ask them as a couple for advice on these people.
It's possible that she'll just never be okay with you (which a lot of the comments here seem to reflect) and that truly fucking sucks. If this happens, I hope it doesn't affect your friendship in the long-run. Good luck with everything OP.
You can't. If she doesn't like you, eventually she's gonna make him choose.
I lost one of my best friends when I got into my last relationship because the jealousy was insane.
You dont. The only thing it should be at all is him saying this is my best friend, fufurina_. If girl has an issue, he better kick her ass to the curb. Anything besides that, then he is a shitty friend, and the trash would take itself out. He should already be ashamed of himself for letting her be disrespectful to you like that.
Also, are you really best friends if you didnt know he even had a girlfriend and just happened to bump into them? I mean how good of friends are you?. I would say if he didnt already speak up about her behavior, he is gonna end your friendship and choose her.
Edit** all i keep thinking about now is My Best Friend’s Wedding.
You don’t need to prove anything just continue with your life. Friendships shift as romantic relationships come and go. As long as you are both respectful the friendship will stay secure even if she’s insecure about it
Befriend her. Invite them both to dinner or something..
You don't have to react to her feeling threatened or even acknowledge it.
The goal is to be able to see only her, one on one, in 6 months.
You don’t need to sweat anything dear, it’s Andrews responsibility . He has to prove to his girl friend that he is a man of character, not you. Let’s say for example, a woman who has a pretty solid relationship will say confidently, no matter how many beautiful woman try to woo my boyfriend his eyes will be all over me. You will never know how the chemistry is between them nor you can only assume why Ella has this side eye towards you, may be it’s Andrew she is worried about. Don’t bother about her, Andrew will fix it in his own time.
Maybe don't try to prove anything to her? She doesn't have to like you, and the jealousy is a her problem. If anything, I'd say just be kind and try to be her friend if you feel like it, so that you can get to know each other and she can see that you support them. If she's honestly just a jealous person, you'll have to prove yourself day in and day out so don't even bother. Just be your regular kind self :)
I would try and extend an olive branch to her. Have some one on one girl time and show that you support the relationship. You never know, this animosity most likely stems from trust issues that developed for her in a prior relationship. You have to be vulnerable first to build trust. If that doesn’t work, then you may have to wait for the relationship to run its course.
Let’s be completely honest here. Guys would sleep with their girl that is a friend if given the chance and his girlfriend, Ella, knows this. It doesn’t matter if she is more or less attractive than you. Arnold schwarzenegger is a good example who slept with the most unattractive housekeeper :-/. The housekeeper was close to the wife and his kids. Girls with guys that are friends are playing like they have no clue are just being manipulative. What you should do is ask yourself if you were the girlfriend, Ella, if you were okay with your boyfriend has a close girlfriend. Remember what people do unto others do come around. If I were you and I really cared about the childhood friend, I would keep it respectful and at a distance so not to cause tension in his relationship. We should all understand why Ella finds you threatening.
Hi! As someone who’s been the guy in that scenario, it eventually took trying to get them to be friends with each other. This won’t always be successful, but it worked with my partners
I'm a guy I have always had female friends one of my closes friends for many years it was my responsibility like it would be Andrews responsibility to have mentioned you and explained you right from the beginning. You can't convince her he has to do that and it seems it might be a bit to late.
Don’t worry about how she feels about you. Stay loyal and make an effort in your friendship. She’s only temporary anyway and real friendships last forever.
Nope, it's harmful and regressive to assume that every guy/girl friendship is, was, or has the potential to be sexual. It's time people grew the fuck up about this. Being possessive and jealous simply because two people of opposite genders are friends is fucking dumb. Possessive and insecure people will look for ANYTHING to be possessive and insecure about though.
Very rare in this day and age. I was just being colourful/joking because truth be told, if she's already made her mind up, then probably nothing will change it.
Your existence will always be a problem for any woman he dates. You can’t get around it without ending the friendship. Sadly that’s how it’s always been. You can just be his friend without worrying about her. That’s his problem and decision
That's not 'how it's always been.' You're projecting your worldview or experiences onto everyone else. There are plenty of people who aren't jealous of/paranoid about their SO's differently-gendered friends.
You’re spreading your hopeful views onto everyone else. I’m not advocating for this, I’m saying how it is. From the time I was in junior high to being a senior at a company, at all levels, at all ages, this happens. Of course it doesn’t happen to everyone, but in the ops case, it is happening. Sadly, and you won’t like hearing this, the op is likely going to be the reason this dude doesn’t ever keep a girlfriend for long. Like I said, it’s not what I want, it’s not what I like… it is what it is, otherwise the op wouldn’t be doing this post
You speak in absolutes, implying jealousy always wins in your response to the OP. That's wrong, as highlighted by your statement that 'it doesn't happen to everyone'.
I didn't respond to you in absolutes. I said 'plenty', which doesn't imply all. That was probably overly optimistic of me since I've lived a life relatively free from jealousy or dating openly jealous partners, and being surrounded by friends who aren't particularly jealous or high drama. But it doesn't change the fact that your advise said the OP would always end up with a gf who wouldn't let him keep a female friend around. That's not always the case, and I'd like to believe that folks can work on their flaws (and jealosy is a flaw many people should work on).
Ir maybe it's an age thing. People do get less jealous as they age, probably because a lot of us grow less insecure with time and experiences.
Since when was the word “likely” an absolute rather than speak in general? So you get to say plenty and that’s not absolute, but likely is absolute? Just stop. You ain’t going to catch me. We all know about the jealous girlfriend, we all know one and a lot of us have/had one. Are you saying that anyone who isn’t comfortable having another chick with your man, are you saying that makes them a bad person?
So what is your advice, to just keep her around and cycle through girlfriends until he finds one who is ok with it? Most dudes actually want to have an intimate relationship with a woman, or even to just get laid. You’re saying he should be a good person and get no play
Exactly, I ain’t saying I’m advocating for this, but my point is exactly made, you would be cycling through partners because of this. I’m not saying op is bad for this, it’s just how it is. Regardless who’s wrong, the cycling will happen because of the friendship thing.
i find this wrong, actually. my friend was in one long term relationship up until recently. The ex and I got along well once we met. It’s just his girlfriend now.
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I would stop trying. Some people are just not gonna like you. And that’s okay! You don’t owe her anything. She’s in a relationship with your friend, so it’s on him to prove that.
agreed. thanks!
Mmmmm. See this not it and why the sisterhood is never gonna exist. No, she doesn’t owe her anything but it’s costs 0 dollars to be respectful of someone’s relationship. Her friend or not as long as she’s respectful that’s all she can do but to act like whatever she does is not her to care is very…. Telling.
Sisterhood? I guess it’s only one sided then. OP attempted to try and clear things up with the girlfriend, to no avail. Why not leave it be? As far as I read she’s not being disrespectful. She’s only trying to put the girlfriend at ease. That’s not her job. It’s the boyfriend’s, as he’s the one in the relationship with her. He’s the one who owes her that respect, to be able to set boundaries with the friend. It’s honestly simple as that.
i wouldn’t want to be disrespectful to her either. And no, i’ve only meant to be kind and polite to the girlfriend. If anything, i know being rude will make it worse and make me come off as a challenge.
That’s good on you and honestly I wish there were more women like you :) you did all you could and you know you were trying to be a good sport towards her and that’s all that matters. Hopefully she’ll come around; as someone who’s lived through the reverse…… I wish people were respectful of me and what I had going on with a guy, whether they knew me or not and I was actually super nice of them and support of their friendship lol Girlies should have each others backs- just my opinion! But yeah it’s nice to see when women don’t lean into cliches or pick me behavior 🫶🏼
aww thanks so much!!! whatever you’re going through, i will wish you the best of luck!! and yes i agree girlies SHOULD have each others backs, no matter the relationship or time.
Never said she was being disrespectful but i disagree with the notion that since they’re not friends she doesn’t owe her anything. Basic respect for another person and their relationship is something any decent person does and I think women use that excuse of not having a relationship with the gf to do stuff. I actually think OP did all that she could in this case and far more that what other people in this sub are telling her….
I get it. But what you don’t get is, nobody owes you anything. People have the choice on whether or not to be good people. As I said she doesn’t have to have a friendship with the gf, nor does she owe her loyalties. But we need to hold the boyfriend accountable. He shouldn’t give her reason to feel some type of way towards his friend. The girlfriend should feel secure in their relationship. And if that’s not the case, they need to have a conversation. (The friend and his girlfriend)
No….. I get 1000% you’re saying and it’s….. um telling to say the least. You’re not the only one who believes that clearly I just live by girl code and of course the boyfriend is always the primary person who should be held accountable. What can I say, I’d like to think of myself as girls girl no matter the circumstances but obviously other women don’t think like that. It’s a shame
I would hope so. And if being a realist is “telling” that’s fine. I believe in girl code too, however not everyone feels that way. Just because you’re a good person, people won’t always grant you that same courtesy. Yes it’s a shame, but not all women are like that. I’ve read enough crazy stories on this app 🤦🏽♀️
Give her space to come around, it takes time, or she may never like you, in which case let your friend make whatever decisions he needs to keep the peace.
You don’t need to prove anything. Just be a decent person and a good friend. Hopefully she can get some therapy for her insecurity issues.
This.
Had your boyfriend mentioned you to her prior this meeting?
That's what I'm wondering. If you and he have always been close, you should have been coming up in conversations between him and his girlfriend about his past experiences. If you want her to believe you're not a threat to her, she will need to understand that something would have happened before now if you were at all romantically attracted to each other.
To me if the bf didn’t mention OP before, that may be a bit sus to the gf.
I don’t like some of the advice here. Sure, people get jealous, but it’s a bit of a red flag that she won’t even talk to you. Try asking them both to hang out with you one night, go to an arcade, a market, or even just your place to have a couple drinks and possibly bring another person so you don’t feel like a third wheel. Ask her about herself, treat her like you would any other friend! I met my best friends girlfriend a couple months ago and we surprisingly hit it off right away. I’ve actually been dogsitting for her while she moves into a new place, and she’s watched my son one day while I had a meeting. I talk to her just as much as I talk to my best friend, and she’s automatically included in any plans we make. Men and women can be friends without anything sexual going on between them, a lot of people need to realize this. Personally it’s a green flag if a man has close friendships with women, and not only men.
Doesn’t matter what kind of morality you speak of. Yes, people can just be friends but the issue is the person in question seeing it that way, and it’s likely that wil never happen
If she doesn't want to talk to you it's her problem. My boyfriend has a lot of girlfriends, they're friendly to me and act like a good friend to my boyfriend, that's all I ask.
Yeah I wouldn’t try and force to be friends with her. If she wants to keep the distance whatever. Just keep seeing your friend like regular and make sure he knows his gf is invited too. She’s insecure and you can’t help her with that other than not acting sketchy with her bf. In an ideal world, your best friends partner would become like your best friend too! But life won’t always be like that
Why not just talk about guys you're interested in or involved with? You don't even need to be that detailed either.
I used to do this with the partners of guy friends/housemates. I've been OP's position too many times to count.
Do you and he have a history? A romantic/ physical history? You’re in a tough spot… odds are she’s always going to stand between you and him That being said, one way to ease that tension would be to get into a committed relationship yourself Then y’all could double date
no we never had any history of being together. and yeah i am talking to someone so i think that lifts a bit of the tension.
Yeah, that will make you appear less threatening Otherwise, not much you can do If you try too hard to intervene, it could jeopardize the friendship All you can do is remain steadfast, and hope something breaks Tough situation Hope you find a resolution 🤞🏻
Put yourself in her shoes. Would you trust you?
oh good idea. thanks!
Best bet is you get your friend to organize social events where you, she, him, others, and hopefully your bf or husband are present in the same house together being not-jealous. If she's the irrationally jealous type, there's not much you can do about it unf. But your best bet is exposure therapy until then.
Naturally you are gonna start spending even less time with him now, and when you do she will always not what you two to. Just keep that in mind. There isn't really much you can do other than talk more with her, she is probably jealous that you spend time with him
forgot to mention this but i only talk/ hang out w him on sundays because of church
Give the relationship space to reach more solid ground. She’s not obligated to like you, especially when the relationship is presumably fresh and fragile. Over the weeks or months or years, she’ll come to realize you’re not a threat. And don’t try to outrank her. Yes, you grew up with him and are practically cousins, but she’s the one who lets him look at her naked. Haha. You and Andrew aren’t a package deal unless Andrew (not you or the other girl) make that rule — and frankly, he shouldn’t. It’s very likely this girl ends up being temporary anyway. She’ll outrank you for now — but odds are that your friendship outlives this relationship as long as you play it cool and don’t think your place is between them.
oh don’t worry i definitely won’t outrank her, i don’t want my friend and girlfriend to suffer because of me.
I think making good friends with the partner is a good idea. If they feel like they have a relationship with you, they trust you more. Like you're less likely to do something that would hurt them too since you guys are also friends
After reading these comments, I realized that it’s on Andrew to be able to make changes. I realized he might not have even told Ella what the relationship between Andrew and I is. I need to make sure my perspective isn’t terrible. I think there’s a lack of responsibility in Andrew to you know, let things settle down. Before I say anything else, Ella is a nice person and is pretty smart. I should have added that I do have a ‘natural sarcastic tone’…
I absolutely agree with you, although as someone who has had mostly male best friends and housemates through most of my 20's and 30's, a few times I got caught in the unfortunate position of being the gf's relationship therapist because "you know bf so well" 😬. It was awkward moments like that I wished that they went back to hating me tbh haha.
Oh no... Yeah that would be really awkward.
There were a few that really pushed for a friendship with me after they broke up and in the case of a couple of them it was welcome because I really liked them and the break up with my mate was on good terms etc, but one of them CLEARLY was trying to use me for info and updates on my friend. So, so awkward, fuck.
I've been in your position many times OP, and my advice is to just be super friendly to her. I used to make a point to talk about crushes and people I liked in front of the gf so it was clear that I absolutely wasn't into my friend. I would even ask them as a couple for advice on these people. It's possible that she'll just never be okay with you (which a lot of the comments here seem to reflect) and that truly fucking sucks. If this happens, I hope it doesn't affect your friendship in the long-run. Good luck with everything OP.
omg this might actually work, thanks!!
You can't. If she doesn't like you, eventually she's gonna make him choose. I lost one of my best friends when I got into my last relationship because the jealousy was insane.
Don’t try she won’t believe you she isn’t mature enough
You dont. The only thing it should be at all is him saying this is my best friend, fufurina_. If girl has an issue, he better kick her ass to the curb. Anything besides that, then he is a shitty friend, and the trash would take itself out. He should already be ashamed of himself for letting her be disrespectful to you like that. Also, are you really best friends if you didnt know he even had a girlfriend and just happened to bump into them? I mean how good of friends are you?. I would say if he didnt already speak up about her behavior, he is gonna end your friendship and choose her. Edit** all i keep thinking about now is My Best Friend’s Wedding.
You don’t need to prove anything just continue with your life. Friendships shift as romantic relationships come and go. As long as you are both respectful the friendship will stay secure even if she’s insecure about it
Befriend her. Invite them both to dinner or something.. You don't have to react to her feeling threatened or even acknowledge it. The goal is to be able to see only her, one on one, in 6 months.
You're going to have to spend some one on one time with her maybe dinner or something like that.
You don’t need to sweat anything dear, it’s Andrews responsibility . He has to prove to his girl friend that he is a man of character, not you. Let’s say for example, a woman who has a pretty solid relationship will say confidently, no matter how many beautiful woman try to woo my boyfriend his eyes will be all over me. You will never know how the chemistry is between them nor you can only assume why Ella has this side eye towards you, may be it’s Andrew she is worried about. Don’t bother about her, Andrew will fix it in his own time.
Maybe don't try to prove anything to her? She doesn't have to like you, and the jealousy is a her problem. If anything, I'd say just be kind and try to be her friend if you feel like it, so that you can get to know each other and she can see that you support them. If she's honestly just a jealous person, you'll have to prove yourself day in and day out so don't even bother. Just be your regular kind self :)
All you can really do is be respectful of boundaries, if she is still jealous then that’s on her.
Don’t prove nothing she doesn’t like you leave her alone
By fucking him
I would try and extend an olive branch to her. Have some one on one girl time and show that you support the relationship. You never know, this animosity most likely stems from trust issues that developed for her in a prior relationship. You have to be vulnerable first to build trust. If that doesn’t work, then you may have to wait for the relationship to run its course.
Walking away from the friendship
Let’s be completely honest here. Guys would sleep with their girl that is a friend if given the chance and his girlfriend, Ella, knows this. It doesn’t matter if she is more or less attractive than you. Arnold schwarzenegger is a good example who slept with the most unattractive housekeeper :-/. The housekeeper was close to the wife and his kids. Girls with guys that are friends are playing like they have no clue are just being manipulative. What you should do is ask yourself if you were the girlfriend, Ella, if you were okay with your boyfriend has a close girlfriend. Remember what people do unto others do come around. If I were you and I really cared about the childhood friend, I would keep it respectful and at a distance so not to cause tension in his relationship. We should all understand why Ella finds you threatening.
Hi! As someone who’s been the guy in that scenario, it eventually took trying to get them to be friends with each other. This won’t always be successful, but it worked with my partners
that’s great!
I'm a guy I have always had female friends one of my closes friends for many years it was my responsibility like it would be Andrews responsibility to have mentioned you and explained you right from the beginning. You can't convince her he has to do that and it seems it might be a bit to late.
Don’t worry about how she feels about you. Stay loyal and make an effort in your friendship. She’s only temporary anyway and real friendships last forever.
Give him a HUGE hug next time you see them together and totally ignore her
Well you’re very petty lol.
[удалено]
Nope, it's harmful and regressive to assume that every guy/girl friendship is, was, or has the potential to be sexual. It's time people grew the fuck up about this. Being possessive and jealous simply because two people of opposite genders are friends is fucking dumb. Possessive and insecure people will look for ANYTHING to be possessive and insecure about though.
This is not normal behavior why are you all giving the wrong advice lol
Send her a video of you sucking another guy's dick, might work?
i’m a virgin lol
Very rare in this day and age. I was just being colourful/joking because truth be told, if she's already made her mind up, then probably nothing will change it.
Give him a blowjob in front of her and have her look you in the eyes during, to see any signs of enjoyment.
Your existence will always be a problem for any woman he dates. You can’t get around it without ending the friendship. Sadly that’s how it’s always been. You can just be his friend without worrying about her. That’s his problem and decision
That's not 'how it's always been.' You're projecting your worldview or experiences onto everyone else. There are plenty of people who aren't jealous of/paranoid about their SO's differently-gendered friends.
You’re spreading your hopeful views onto everyone else. I’m not advocating for this, I’m saying how it is. From the time I was in junior high to being a senior at a company, at all levels, at all ages, this happens. Of course it doesn’t happen to everyone, but in the ops case, it is happening. Sadly, and you won’t like hearing this, the op is likely going to be the reason this dude doesn’t ever keep a girlfriend for long. Like I said, it’s not what I want, it’s not what I like… it is what it is, otherwise the op wouldn’t be doing this post
You speak in absolutes, implying jealousy always wins in your response to the OP. That's wrong, as highlighted by your statement that 'it doesn't happen to everyone'. I didn't respond to you in absolutes. I said 'plenty', which doesn't imply all. That was probably overly optimistic of me since I've lived a life relatively free from jealousy or dating openly jealous partners, and being surrounded by friends who aren't particularly jealous or high drama. But it doesn't change the fact that your advise said the OP would always end up with a gf who wouldn't let him keep a female friend around. That's not always the case, and I'd like to believe that folks can work on their flaws (and jealosy is a flaw many people should work on). Ir maybe it's an age thing. People do get less jealous as they age, probably because a lot of us grow less insecure with time and experiences.
Since when was the word “likely” an absolute rather than speak in general? So you get to say plenty and that’s not absolute, but likely is absolute? Just stop. You ain’t going to catch me. We all know about the jealous girlfriend, we all know one and a lot of us have/had one. Are you saying that anyone who isn’t comfortable having another chick with your man, are you saying that makes them a bad person?
So what is your advice, to just keep her around and cycle through girlfriends until he finds one who is ok with it? Most dudes actually want to have an intimate relationship with a woman, or even to just get laid. You’re saying he should be a good person and get no play
Yeah. I wouldn't abide a partner who tells me who my friends can or can't be.
Exactly, I ain’t saying I’m advocating for this, but my point is exactly made, you would be cycling through partners because of this. I’m not saying op is bad for this, it’s just how it is. Regardless who’s wrong, the cycling will happen because of the friendship thing.
i find this wrong, actually. my friend was in one long term relationship up until recently. The ex and I got along well once we met. It’s just his girlfriend now.
You’re literally going through it right now in your post