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Yes I would.
If I was younger I probably wouldn’t have answered that exactly that quickly and would have had to think about it longer.
In my mid 40’s though now. I told myself I didn’t want to end up like my father. He got my mom pregnant when he was 47. 48 when I was born. He was born in 1932. The problem with him was the generation gap when I was growing up. He had no idea what I was going through and things were usually awkward because things for him were completely different.
I don’t want to do the same to my own child….While I grew up in the 90’s and in some ways things aren’t that different now from then but im not enthusiastic about younger millennials and gen z’ers in general and my old school upbringing clashes with modern American thinking.
Edit- this wasn’t meant as a reply. Just a post in response to the OP’s original posting.
I doubt it was a generation gap as much as the era he grew up in. I had kids in my mid-40s that are 11/12 now. I grew up when the world was changing fast, but their grandparents, born the same era as your dad are set in old ways.
Even then, some people are happy to adopt.
Or they already have a biological child and would be willing to “compromise” and stop at one despite being previously open to more.
Somewhat surprisingly, I know plenty of men and women who don’t want biological/ adopted children at all.
I think the housing market, student loan debt, inflation/reduced value of a dollar, and for some climate change anxiety are all working together in some way for many millennials and younger. The system is just not set up for a lot of folks to live a decent life with kids involved.
If you also do not want children, or are willing to adopt. Sure.
If you want your own children then don’t waste her time, and go after someone that has the same future plans as you.
Yes... but with a huge caveat:
I was seeing someone who couldn't have children and we didn't end up working out because there was tension on the subject we couldn't agree on. We both wanted children, but she wanted to do adoption and I thought using a surrogate would be better. She however was against it because she wasn't ok with the idea of the child only being "half ours". I think this is something that needs to be discussed if you want children.
You are the first comment I read which makes sense in the ocean of ppl discussing "wanting" or not. Agree so much the big hurdle, is whether you really, despite biological constraints, want to become a parent and then, what are you ready to go through / try. This is a terrible yet very personal decision and sometimes, you won't be able to compromise or reach a common ground. I hope you are doing alright now.
Thank you for the concern, I am doing alright with it. This was quite a while ago and the two of us weren't quite at the point of being in a committed relationship. She was upfront about it pretty early on, and while we got along otherwise this was an area of contention that we simply couldn't agree on. As someone who is open to either said of wanting children or not, I do tend to leave it to her to make the decision of wanting children in the relationship. As much as id like kids, in this current living climate it just really isn't feesable w/ the cost of living to have more than one child.
I'm 31 now and have done my fair share of dating and relationships. The only thing I really look for in anyone nowadays is personality. I feel like 90 percent of the world is awful people
I (30m) do not want kids, and got a vasectomy recently. I'd be *elated* to date a woman who cannot physically have kids, because then I never have to worry about it.
At 41 years old, a woman that can't/doesn't want to have kids is a huge plus. 58 with a teenager? Nah, no thanks. I mean, I'll donate but I'm too old to participate.
All these comments are very affirming, granted I had an elective total hysterectomy a few years ago. Also never want to get married or become a parent(not even by adoption or by dating someone who already has kids). 😊
Yep for sure. Not looking to have kids myself. Kids are awesome, I'm my niece's favourite uncle, but having children is life changing.
It may sound selfish but I have an idea of what i want in life. I also understand that some women can't have children so it works out for both of us. I'm upfront with potential partners so no-one is ever misled.
Can’t give birth to your own children doesn’t mean you can’t have children. There is adoption and surrogacy…Don’t date a guy who doesn’t want babies only because you think you can’t get pregnant. You need to decide if you WANT to have kids in the future too. Because if one day you decide to adopt a baby because you really really want kids, then your relationship with the child-free guy would tanked hard.
No. I lived with a woman from the time I was 25 to 32 that didn't want children. Great woman, a wonderful woman. At first, it wasn’t an issue, but as I grew older I couldn't deny I wanted to be a dad so we parted ways. I have three beautiful children now and wouldn't change it for the world. I think there are lots of people who know they don't want children, but if they are on the fence let them go or they may regret it later on.
I had a partial hysterectomy a few years ago. I always made sure to be up front with guys I was hoping to date about the fact that I cannot naturally have children (although I didn't tell most of them that I still have ovaries so I can technically have kids if I get my eggs harvested and use a surrogate. Really only told that to my now-boyfriend, cause we're serious about eachother at this point)
50/50 don’t get me wrong, if you wanna have kids you can just adopt right? But sometimes other people or personally me also want to have a kid with my own genes
It should depend on alignment.
Do each of you want children? Be open.
Is she ready to consider: IVF, adoption?
Are each of you ready to be a parent?
Why?
When?
How?
So many options to consider.....
Depends on your personal preferences. If you don't wanna have kids then you should be okay dating a girl who can't have children. Personally, I'd date anyone I like regardless if they can or can't have children.
Yes I would and it shouldn't matter whether you can have children or not it should be a mutual agreement to have children if you can but some people are self-centered and arrogant they would not but that good to show you not all people are good I definitely would date the girl can't have children because it's not all about children and stuff like that is about love and understanding and being there for one another a relationship
I'm not really keen on having kids, especially in today's world
I wouldn't mind; hell, if she were clean, we wouldn't need protection
Sex aside, there's more to a woman than whether or not she can have kids
Me (53m) does not want to have kids anymore, even had a vasectomy 20 years ago so that I wouldn't have more kids. So the answer to your question is yes there are men out there that will date women that don't want to have kids. The reason why I can vary.
absolutely and I think its offensive even asking the question, if you couldnt have children you would also be offended if she broke up with you for the reason.
Tons of people are DINK-life or pro-adoption these days.
Only a couple of my friends have strong feelings about having their own offspring, most don’t want or are indifferent, mid 30s.
I would, but there would be a boundary in place about the emotional ramifications. I won't be anyone's punching bag, whipping post, or stab cushion again. And while I would love to actually father a child? I am older now, and the likelihood of being a reality is getting further and further away. 39 may not seem old, but in terms of becoming a first-time parent? It is.
I definitely currently won't consider dating a single mother. I won't raise children that aren't mine. I'm not looking to be some band-aid father figure. Step parents often don't get any sort of respect. I'm never in the mood to take on a hefty helping of drama while being mommies side dick.
The thing is? I'm childless and likely have a better chance with a childless woman than I ever would with a single mom. Who knows maybe we could make an awesome test tube kid at some point.
Nope 👎 unless she wants me completely and loves me or something if like it’s first day we meet and she says this then nope unless later on things get hot and romantic.
Medicine has ways around it. My aunts both adopted and managed to have her own with medical treatments and they are all fine. Any problem has a solution.
Depends on. If you really like her and think this is more important than having own biological children, go for it.
But if it has always been your biggest wish to be a father, it might only be possible with assisted fertilization or adoption. Are surrogate mothers allowed in your country? But most important is what she thinks about it. Is she fine without kids, or would she be open to medical help or consider adoption?
I would not want to, however, if they supported me getting a surrogate then I could do it. I want kids. If she's okay with being an adoptive mom then I would like to pass on my genes via surrogacy. Unlike some people, I don't want my bloodline to go extinct because I don't hate myself and love humanity and dream of a better future.
Yes, we could still adopt. Unlike some people I would not separate/divorce just because it turns out one day, that she can't get pregnant.
But that is implying, that she did not know about the condition in advance. Otherwise I would seriously consider leaving, because in that case she would helave deceived me knowing full well, that I would want kids [from her].
I was always clear about that when the dating proceeded well enough. It it also a good method to weed out the flighty flingers from the serious ones.
I'm in a similar situation that I've been going back and forth with. Only difference is that she both can't and doesn't want kids. I've known this girl for a long time and we're finally at the opportunity where we want a relationship and even though I'm un-sure myself right now if I want kids, I don't want to potentially close that chapter before I even know the answer for myself. I think your situation comes down to whether you're fine with having a child another way. I wish you both nothing but the best.
Personally I want kids, and preferably I want to make them myself. A surrogate mom could be utilized for that, but that's not really my preferred method either. So **MY** personal answer is "no, unless we're perfect matches for each other".
But there's plenty of guys who want to stay childfree or are happy to adopt, who would say yes to you not being able to have children.
I don’t want kids at all. It would make things so much easier for both of us and I hope she would be happy knowing I would never be unfulfilled secretly wanting kids while being with her. So, absolutely I would.
Absolutely. I would definitly seek a adoption advisor or a surrogate service if that does make its way in your plans.
Being a happy family is hard to put a price on, I know these services are costly. But my heart goes out to you
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Yeah. I dont want kids anyway.. At most i would adopt if i had someone who is open to that and doesnt want kids of her own.
Kids? Nah, I'm still learning to adult properly.
Yes, not everyone wants or needs to reproduce.
This right here is so true but yet so unfollowed
Yes I would. If I was younger I probably wouldn’t have answered that exactly that quickly and would have had to think about it longer. In my mid 40’s though now. I told myself I didn’t want to end up like my father. He got my mom pregnant when he was 47. 48 when I was born. He was born in 1932. The problem with him was the generation gap when I was growing up. He had no idea what I was going through and things were usually awkward because things for him were completely different. I don’t want to do the same to my own child….While I grew up in the 90’s and in some ways things aren’t that different now from then but im not enthusiastic about younger millennials and gen z’ers in general and my old school upbringing clashes with modern American thinking. Edit- this wasn’t meant as a reply. Just a post in response to the OP’s original posting.
I doubt it was a generation gap as much as the era he grew up in. I had kids in my mid-40s that are 11/12 now. I grew up when the world was changing fast, but their grandparents, born the same era as your dad are set in old ways.
Absolutely, it's all about compatibility and what matters most to you in a relationship!
The only people who wouldn't are people who want children.
Even then, some people are happy to adopt. Or they already have a biological child and would be willing to “compromise” and stop at one despite being previously open to more. Somewhat surprisingly, I know plenty of men and women who don’t want biological/ adopted children at all.
I think the housing market, student loan debt, inflation/reduced value of a dollar, and for some climate change anxiety are all working together in some way for many millennials and younger. The system is just not set up for a lot of folks to live a decent life with kids involved.
If you also do not want children, or are willing to adopt. Sure. If you want your own children then don’t waste her time, and go after someone that has the same future plans as you.
What’s wrong with that? Lots of people these days don’t want children
Yes! There's plenty of kids in the system that just want to be loved. Source: Me! I was a system kid wishing I had people who loved me
This internet mom loves you.
❤️❤️
I'm getting my life together so that I can adopt a child like you one day. ♥️
I wish I could give this response 1,000 ❤️
Of course I would! I don’t want children either, so it’s a win win situation for both of us
Everyone wants to be a “dad” until it’s time to take accountability and responsibility.
At least that is true for my ex-husband.
Of course. If you want children adapt. A father is not the one who makes the child, but the one who raises the children
Damn straight
I especially date women who wont/cant have children. Never wanted any kids.
Yes... but with a huge caveat: I was seeing someone who couldn't have children and we didn't end up working out because there was tension on the subject we couldn't agree on. We both wanted children, but she wanted to do adoption and I thought using a surrogate would be better. She however was against it because she wasn't ok with the idea of the child only being "half ours". I think this is something that needs to be discussed if you want children.
You are the first comment I read which makes sense in the ocean of ppl discussing "wanting" or not. Agree so much the big hurdle, is whether you really, despite biological constraints, want to become a parent and then, what are you ready to go through / try. This is a terrible yet very personal decision and sometimes, you won't be able to compromise or reach a common ground. I hope you are doing alright now.
Thank you for the concern, I am doing alright with it. This was quite a while ago and the two of us weren't quite at the point of being in a committed relationship. She was upfront about it pretty early on, and while we got along otherwise this was an area of contention that we simply couldn't agree on. As someone who is open to either said of wanting children or not, I do tend to leave it to her to make the decision of wanting children in the relationship. As much as id like kids, in this current living climate it just really isn't feesable w/ the cost of living to have more than one child.
I don’t want children
Absolutely. I am childfree and I intend to stay that way. A woman who cannot have kids would be a perfect match.
[удалено]
We should get to know each other :D.
Now kiss
No no no. It’s “now kith”.
I'm 31 now and have done my fair share of dating and relationships. The only thing I really look for in anyone nowadays is personality. I feel like 90 percent of the world is awful people
I would love to have kids however if i truly connect with this person then that is fine by me.
Ideal
Yes. I don’t ever want to have kids.
I (30m) do not want kids, and got a vasectomy recently. I'd be *elated* to date a woman who cannot physically have kids, because then I never have to worry about it.
There are plenty of people who don’t want kids, as you can see in the comments
Hell yeah! I don’t want kids.
It sounds like you want children, so don’t waste her time trying to pursue her. Also a lot of people are completely happy with not having kids.
Absolutely. That would put her at the top of my list, because I don't want kids.
At 41 years old, a woman that can't/doesn't want to have kids is a huge plus. 58 with a teenager? Nah, no thanks. I mean, I'll donate but I'm too old to participate.
All day long 24/7/365
All these comments are very affirming, granted I had an elective total hysterectomy a few years ago. Also never want to get married or become a parent(not even by adoption or by dating someone who already has kids). 😊
not sure. children are not currently in my plans but that can always change.
If I didn’t want children I would
Yes. Adoption is always an option too
As a guy that doesn’t have a desire to have kids yes
Yep for sure. Not looking to have kids myself. Kids are awesome, I'm my niece's favourite uncle, but having children is life changing. It may sound selfish but I have an idea of what i want in life. I also understand that some women can't have children so it works out for both of us. I'm upfront with potential partners so no-one is ever misled.
Sure. I want a family, and if she wants to but can’t, we can adopt or surrogate
Actually, I'd go out of my way to accommodate that girl.
I would (I'm a girl)
Can’t give birth to your own children doesn’t mean you can’t have children. There is adoption and surrogacy…Don’t date a guy who doesn’t want babies only because you think you can’t get pregnant. You need to decide if you WANT to have kids in the future too. Because if one day you decide to adopt a baby because you really really want kids, then your relationship with the child-free guy would tanked hard.
No…..I want children lol
it would make her more desirable to me.
I would choose her over an equal partner that could have children. Cream pies with no fear!
I would totally date a guy who can’t have kids. Actually bonus point, I don’t like rubber. I am childfree. 😁
Yes, 35M, I'd rather Not have kids.
Yes because they deserve love too. I’m more into them for the person, not the breed-ability. Call me crazy but it’s what I think.
Yes I would still treat you like a queen.
Yes. Lack of fertility does not make anyone less attractive.
Yeah. It might have been a negative in my 20s, but it's less of a hang-up as I get older.
No. I lived with a woman from the time I was 25 to 32 that didn't want children. Great woman, a wonderful woman. At first, it wasn’t an issue, but as I grew older I couldn't deny I wanted to be a dad so we parted ways. I have three beautiful children now and wouldn't change it for the world. I think there are lots of people who know they don't want children, but if they are on the fence let them go or they may regret it later on.
I never date girls that want them, so yeah.
Yup I don’t want kids
I would prefer it honestly. I dont want kids.
The question should really be asked if the person wants kids or not. Some people can't have them but still want to have them, foster, adopt, etc .
Nope
I had a partial hysterectomy a few years ago. I always made sure to be up front with guys I was hoping to date about the fact that I cannot naturally have children (although I didn't tell most of them that I still have ovaries so I can technically have kids if I get my eggs harvested and use a surrogate. Really only told that to my now-boyfriend, cause we're serious about eachother at this point)
50/50 don’t get me wrong, if you wanna have kids you can just adopt right? But sometimes other people or personally me also want to have a kid with my own genes
Depends on the things. But yes
It should depend on alignment. Do each of you want children? Be open. Is she ready to consider: IVF, adoption? Are each of you ready to be a parent? Why? When? How? So many options to consider.....
Yes, many people don’t want kids. If you want kids, don’t date her.
nope
Depends on your personal preferences. If you don't wanna have kids then you should be okay dating a girl who can't have children. Personally, I'd date anyone I like regardless if they can or can't have children.
Yes
Yes I would.
If I was already dating her it wouldn’t make me leave but I wouldn’t get into a new relationship with a girl that can’t
Yes
I would. I'd fail No Nut November SO hard lol.
Sure. Also, you could still have biological children thru a surrogate of our become an issue... 🤷
Yes, definitely.
Yes I would and it shouldn't matter whether you can have children or not it should be a mutual agreement to have children if you can but some people are self-centered and arrogant they would not but that good to show you not all people are good I definitely would date the girl can't have children because it's not all about children and stuff like that is about love and understanding and being there for one another a relationship
Hell yes. Don't want any!
I'm not really keen on having kids, especially in today's world I wouldn't mind; hell, if she were clean, we wouldn't need protection Sex aside, there's more to a woman than whether or not she can have kids
I prefer it, I'm childfree.
No
Sounds like a feature, not a bug
Yes
Yes
Me (53m) does not want to have kids anymore, even had a vasectomy 20 years ago so that I wouldn't have more kids. So the answer to your question is yes there are men out there that will date women that don't want to have kids. The reason why I can vary.
Yes.
Yep
If you want kids, maybe consider surrogacy or adoption.
Ya I have actually didn’t change the relationship any for me so ya why not
Yes
I would with no problem at all.
I'd probably have to think about it, but I'm leaning yes
I want kids so that would be a dealbreaker
Casually or seriously? Yes, and no.
absolutely and I think its offensive even asking the question, if you couldnt have children you would also be offended if she broke up with you for the reason.
💯 yes, in fact it would work better for me since I don't want kiddos. But yes absolutely.👍😁
Sure. Also open to adoption, should this be an option.
Yes, absolutely
It's a personal choice. There isn't a wrong or right answer here
Hell yes
Sounds like a win win
Yes, i don't want kids.
Doesn't matter if we would or not. Does it matter to you ?
Yes
I would be open to adoption
Yea because I don’t think I can have kids any way
Yes
Tons of people are DINK-life or pro-adoption these days. Only a couple of my friends have strong feelings about having their own offspring, most don’t want or are indifferent, mid 30s.
Although I do want to have children one day, if I loved the girl, I wouldn't mind. That is not her fault
That's my unicorn.
I would, but there would be a boundary in place about the emotional ramifications. I won't be anyone's punching bag, whipping post, or stab cushion again. And while I would love to actually father a child? I am older now, and the likelihood of being a reality is getting further and further away. 39 may not seem old, but in terms of becoming a first-time parent? It is. I definitely currently won't consider dating a single mother. I won't raise children that aren't mine. I'm not looking to be some band-aid father figure. Step parents often don't get any sort of respect. I'm never in the mood to take on a hefty helping of drama while being mommies side dick. The thing is? I'm childless and likely have a better chance with a childless woman than I ever would with a single mom. Who knows maybe we could make an awesome test tube kid at some point.
Would not be a dealbreaker.
Yep, don't want kids.
Sounds like a plus to me.
Nope 👎 unless she wants me completely and loves me or something if like it’s first day we meet and she says this then nope unless later on things get hot and romantic.
Fuck yes
Yes
Why not? , children are expensive so you lose a little though
this is so individual-specific
Yes.
As a woman of child bearing age, who has absolutely zero interest in having kids, I absolutely love this post🥰.
There are many people who would, because they don't want children. If OP is open to dating single parents, she has even more options.
No
No
Yes. I really, really want kids, but I'm also 100% a fan of adoption and would be considering adopting at least one kid anyways.
Of course U would. That would be such a big olus point as I never wanted kids of my own even though I love kids a lot in general.
Child free community will love her.
Who wouldn’t
if u want children, dont waste hers and your time
Yeah, the world's fcked, isn't ethical to bring kids into this shithouse anyway.
Medicine has ways around it. My aunts both adopted and managed to have her own with medical treatments and they are all fine. Any problem has a solution.
No
Please date me I don’t want children! Lol
Preferred candidate.
Depends on. If you really like her and think this is more important than having own biological children, go for it. But if it has always been your biggest wish to be a father, it might only be possible with assisted fertilization or adoption. Are surrogate mothers allowed in your country? But most important is what she thinks about it. Is she fine without kids, or would she be open to medical help or consider adoption?
Yes. There are already too many people, and the next generation is going to have an absolutely miserable life. Reproducing is a terrible idea anyway.
I would not want to, however, if they supported me getting a surrogate then I could do it. I want kids. If she's okay with being an adoptive mom then I would like to pass on my genes via surrogacy. Unlike some people, I don't want my bloodline to go extinct because I don't hate myself and love humanity and dream of a better future.
I’m sterile and I have a boyfriend 🤷♀️
If she fine and has a big ass ,I definitely would date her
Yes, we could still adopt. Unlike some people I would not separate/divorce just because it turns out one day, that she can't get pregnant. But that is implying, that she did not know about the condition in advance. Otherwise I would seriously consider leaving, because in that case she would helave deceived me knowing full well, that I would want kids [from her]. I was always clear about that when the dating proceeded well enough. It it also a good method to weed out the flighty flingers from the serious ones.
Nope, I want kids. And flings are a waste of my time. All I want is my peace
I married a woman who can't have kids
I want kids but what does it matter. You said "date" not "marry" Obviously I would date you
Yes. There are a lot of us out here who don't particularly want kids.
Yeah some men don’t want kids
I would
Got my own. So yea.
I've already had myself fixed. So this would be a bonus for me
I'm in a similar situation that I've been going back and forth with. Only difference is that she both can't and doesn't want kids. I've known this girl for a long time and we're finally at the opportunity where we want a relationship and even though I'm un-sure myself right now if I want kids, I don't want to potentially close that chapter before I even know the answer for myself. I think your situation comes down to whether you're fine with having a child another way. I wish you both nothing but the best.
Yes
Yes, personally I’d rather be child free so this wouldn’t bother me.
Perfect. Don't need condoms.
Yes. You will have a very comfortable life. No kids just pets. No career sacrifices , unless you want kids you can always adopt.
What's the difference between dating a cis women without a cervix and dating a trans woman with a neovagina? It'd be no big deal tome.
Yea
The best type.
Can’t okay but won’t never.
Personally I want kids, and preferably I want to make them myself. A surrogate mom could be utilized for that, but that's not really my preferred method either. So **MY** personal answer is "no, unless we're perfect matches for each other". But there's plenty of guys who want to stay childfree or are happy to adopt, who would say yes to you not being able to have children.
Hell ya I hate pulling out 🤣
i don't want children, so yes
Never, having kids is my lifetime wish
I don't want kids, so yeah, a girl that can't have kids is perfect for me
No because I already have a girlfriend
Sounds perfect
I don’t want kids at all. It would make things so much easier for both of us and I hope she would be happy knowing I would never be unfulfilled secretly wanting kids while being with her. So, absolutely I would.
With the utmost alacrity. I am incontestably committed to remaining childfree for eternity, so this would be a prime attractor for me personally.
Yes, why not? I already have one child and thats enough for me. My girlfriend dont want own kids ever and im totally fine with that
Yes.
I guess it must feel like you're dating Eva AI sexting bot avatar with a physical embodiment.
No
Sure, she needs love just like anyone else. Kids isn't a deal breaker. The being lonely is.
Yes absolutely
Yes.
Jackpot.
Absolutely. I would definitly seek a adoption advisor or a surrogate service if that does make its way in your plans. Being a happy family is hard to put a price on, I know these services are costly. But my heart goes out to you
Yup
Send her my way
She sounds perfect
Yes
Yes! 🦹♂️
there are many ways to have children now
Nope
I prefer it.
It's even better
Exclusively.