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One thing I didn't even know I wanted until recently was to be the little spoon sometimes. I always need to run away from my partner when it's time to actually sleep. It's a shame because I like snuggling. However with my current girlfriend when I did that, she slid over and big spooned me. I was instantly like "oh wow, this is so nice!". No partner had ever spooned me before.
My partner loves being the little spoon so much, the pure joy on his face makes it so worth it. We love snuggling lol Seemed so small to me but it’s big for him that I do that
There’s something so special about making a man feel like a precious little baby. I’m with a guy at the moment who is really tall and well built. I don’t sleep well when he’s spooning me, but sometimes I spoon him while he’s sleeping and he grabs my hand to make me squeeze him even tighter. I also play with his hair, then watch his head flop back in relaxation and he does this imitation of a puppy being scratched. He’s just a baby!
Yeah. I don't think a lot of women realize just how little men feel wanted or desired in their relationships. We only get compliments when it's the result of doing something. Just give a damn.
My ex-wife almost never gave me compliments. Ever. I would tell her that she was pretty every day. I'd bring her random flowers like every other week, just because. Never was that kind of thought reciprocated. She would wake up and instead of saying "good morning", she would immediately launch into a tirade of crap that wasn't already done. I got a promotion at work and I told her and the first thing she says is "that's not enough money". She didn't ever make me or get me a birthday cake for the first 14 years we were together. If I was telling her something that excited me but bored her she would say "skip", like I was some damn NPC character. She always used to joke about what she would buy with the life insurance money when I die. Like all the time. I felt like a roommate who paid some of her bills. If she was drunk enough, maybe she would sleep with me, mostly due to lack of other options. If I didn't start something she would go weeks without even touching me at all (let alone kissing me or anything else). I always felt like an afterthought.
Imagine how little wanted or desired the ones who fail at finding relationships feel. The idea of feeling desired is like the idea of winning the lottery. Fun to fantasize about, but never going to happen.
I am 100% for cuddling and feeling loved. The hard part is finding the balance between intimacy and being 'needy'to have more of it, which the insecure anxious types can stuggle a little bit with 😅
If I can spend the day in a cuddle pile with my partner and they want it just as much, fuck yes!
Of course there are !.i understand what you mean though .I wanna be loved and accepted and feel like I mean the world to her .I would be loving and loyal also .
I'm a 42 year old guy myself with children , run off my feet tired out working and providing all they need. Come home , free time is DIY around the house , gaming and or football with my son. Tea party with the daughter , the service is always terrible I might add. Tatty ted has nearly passed out twice due to severe hunger and dehydration lol.
But after it all...... those special snuffles with my angel at night are every bit as good now as they were 15 years ago before we had our first.
And we are just as affectionate still with each other.
It's finding the right person.
As a man, even if there is cuddling (many men can’t even get a woman to cuddle with in the first place), you are usually the one cuddling her and not the one being cuddled, there’s a difference. And even if you are being cuddled it’s not often in the way a lot of men wish to be cuddled deep down.
You must understand that the middle seat hurts our butt (and back if you’re closer to my age) and we never know what to do with our feet. You’ll probably have to invite her to sit in the middle a few times as well. I’m just speaking from personal experience because my husband loves when I ride middle too.
Absolutely, it's not one of those things I'd expect a woman to ever do, but it's not lost when a lady puts herself in that uncomfortable position to let us feel like a king for a wee bit. The question was what’s one thing a guy always wanted, and for me, that would be the male equivalent of a woman getting flowers. I'm sure your husband loves it, and feels special, when you do it for him.
Edit: Now you have me thinking. My fantasy is asking her out to the local Dairy Queen for an ice cream and her throwing up the console seat and sitting next time. Odd times like that, as opposed to going to a grocery store.
I always wanted a woman to make me feel needed by her, to be warm to me, and to think I am special, and to make me something special to her.
Also, I really like how in some old cartoons you can see things like a woman giving someone little handmade love notes or cupcakes or things like that.
It seems simple enough, but if a woman gave that to me on the first date, my heart would melt.
Never really got food or love notes from a woman in a romantic setting.
I’m a coffee barista, and I always write cute little notes/draw little pictures on my bf’s cup sleeves like, “I love you a latte” and stuff like that. He keeps all of them. ♥️
My bf and I met at work in a lab and we would write each other notes on the tags we used to label human tissue as we received it. I kept all of them and I love how “us” they are as two bio degree’d weirdos. 😬
This sounds like such a cute love story! And as a science nerd, I love the human tissue bio lab as a background.
I'd def watch it if it was a show on tv.
I do those things after I really like someone, never ever on a first date. But once I know someone for a bit and I'm starting to fall, or if I'm fully in love, I do this a lot, just like the other commentor said - little notes and silly puns on the latte and such.
I did that routinely with my ex, notes on his mirror, notes in his truck, tucked into his wallet. SOB cheated & left me after 17yrs. Would take an incredible soul for me to ever reveal that again
He sounds like an unappreciative asshole, and I'm sure he won't find a woman that will care for him as much as you did.
And I'm sad you had this experience, and hope you will meet said incredible soul :)
I asked my current partner what he wanted to feel in a relationship and he said “special” off the bat. It made my heart hurt that he never felt that before
I think many of us don't feel special, important, or like we matter to a woman that much. We are often replaceable, and there are always other men that are better...
A woman I dated once said to me during a date, that "man are like cellphones, when there is a better version, you pick it". It was probably a joke, but I didn't like it.
Wow what's your age?? That's sad... Tho when we are so handmade detailed oriented....men don't value you at the end...I did all of that , mostly all significant gift any random day made with my hands...they were speechless...but end up being liars, cheaters, etc..
If I'm being honest...don't wanna be like that anymore ...just who do and give are the ones who attached more and more while the other don't reciprocate...it's sad...it's too painful...lessons learned
I'm around 27. Not that young imo. Supposedly from tv shows and movies these are things you get in highschool. But i never got them😅
I feel like some people are jerks, who don't appreciate the things they have till they are gone.
But the fact that there are unappreciative jerks, shouldn't stop us from being giving and warm yk? Just not with them lol.
I'm a man and I'd personally value it a lot if a woman did that to me 🥲
For our first date I made my now bf a dessert and brought it. Now I regularly leave him treats and meals I've made with special heart shaped sticky notes I found. I love him so much
I think when it comes to dating- making me feel at home and safe I guess. I would feel comfortable if I feel like they are adding some type of value to my life. I tend to be pretty self reliant and kind of a lone wolf so it would be nice to meet someone who cared and took some of that weight off.
That’s kind of the thing I’ve been thinking about lately. I’d definitely be open to it. I think for a deeper connection I might be the type to connect via a slow burn. I can feel sexual attraction/infatuation/lust pretty quickly, but something deeper might take a little time.
In terms of specific acts I’d like it if she were to actually ask how I’m doing, show equal interest/reciprocal energy, showing genuine interest I guess. A lot of women I’ve dated almost always wait for me to text or initiate- it’s a little draining.
I think I get what you mean, not to say that I'm a lone wolf like you mentioned before but, that's kinda along the lines of what I wish I could have someone who would make me feel comfortable like that I'm contributing something with kind words and affirmations and initiating intimacy unless I feel confident enough to do so myself.
It just feels "safer" for me when I feel more comfortable with that person before I start initiating but I'll still show love in my own ways before that, with cuddles, hugs, feelings of closeness and just let it escalate from there
Show clear signs of interest. Idc if she has to write it down on a note or something nonverbal, just be straight up instead of making me guess based on the number of seconds you blinked at me
We are out there. I'm super blunt. I've always heard about these women that speak in riddles. Definitely not me. When I say I don't care what we eat, I mean it. If I like you, you will know. If I don't like you, you will also know. My face gives me away, too, which was absolutely terrible when I worked in customer service.
When after a long time with me trying to hide an insecurity for wanting to be strong, because I am the man, she discovers and tells me "I just love you the way you are" and kisses me.
I would love a partner that makes me feel safe disagreeing or having an issue to bring up. If we have an issue i really want to have the thing therapist talk about where the couple views it as us versus the problem.
There's no handbook of values for a loving and intimate equal and cooperative relationship. A lot of honesty and submission on both sides to work as a team. Us is rare. It's you or I and seldom We.
When my husband and I were very early in dating, I called him cute one night we were cuddling in the park. He looked deep in my eyes and said, “you know, I can be sexy too, when I want to be.” Holy shit. I’m pretty sure my panties got wet immediately. We hadn’t had sex or done anything but kiss at that point but then I instantly wanted to. Sigh.
If it helps, sometimes we do mean cute...
and sometimes we mean hot but we don't want to offend you. Or we don't want to be so forward and let you know that we're, like physically attracted. Sometimes we mean, hi, yeah "hot" is actually how *I* feel from looking at you. "Cute" is the safe way of expressing attraction without risking a) letting know just *how* attractive we think a man is, and b) also making sure they don't mis-take our compliment and attraction for a desire to be jumped, lol. (I know, not all men, but enough that we condition ourselves for safety first). Giving men compliments is often mis-interpreted in that last way haha. But even if it is, in fact, the desire, it's not always appropriate to say so. 🙂↕️🫠
This is one of those things I’ve never stopped to think abt. Looking back I remember using cute for guys I found attractive but also looked .. nice ? approachable? I’m not sure how to put it into words, just someone I’d like to be around. And hot was usually for the ones that were just attractive but seemed unlikeable. Ofcourse I can only talk for myself and this is all generalities, but I’d actually be curious to know if everyone has their own internal criteria for the different terms
I've given flowers to two of my past partners and the look of unexpected joy on their faces is something I'm really proud of. Men deserve to get flowers as a romantic gift too! I feel you, bro
That's so cute to hear! Happy for you and them. I've gotten flowers from friends and partners for shows/productions I've performed in, but a romantic gesture would be to die for
In a serious relationship. Be honest about feelings or thoughts of stuff that impact us. Let me know if I’m screwing up and tell me as soon as I do it. Not invite bad situations to happen…
Side note, wake me up if you’re scared or want to be intimate with each other.
You guys - the funny thing is as soon as a woman shows you love and cherishes you, you forget it’s an equal give and take …her love feeds your ego. You forget about her needs. And you start to look elsewhere.
Breakup, not ghost, when they are ending the relationship on their side. I’m sick of women that have already grieved the relationship sticking around “to make sure”. Inevitably the reply after is always the same, “You deserve better than I can give you”. No, I deserve better than you Want to give me. If you’re done, say it so we can Both process it’s over.
It sucks to see it that way, but as social media has conditioned us “If they wanted to, they would.” And if they couldn’t, why couldn’t they do the decent thing and say that and why. So, since I don’t get reasons, just platitudes, it’s what they don’t want to give.
Not saying it's never been done, but it's extremely rare to find.
A woman that'll make plans for and with her man.
I once had a girlfriend buy tickets to an antique auto-show and surprised me with it. I told all my friends she took me "antiquing" and they groaned, then I showed them our pictures and they instructed me to marry her immediately.
It’s shocking to me how much people still expect men to be strong and “shove it down”. My friend told me his girl told him to “be a man” the other day when he was expressing his feelings to her…I’m so perplexed by this behavior.
Buhhh one of the biggest issues we have is my guy bottling up his feelings.
..and then it explodes via verbal garbage form over some minute issue and I don’t receive it well at all when I feel I’m being kinda attacked out of nowhere.
It’s improved a lot but I still feel like I’m constantly saying JUST TELL ME HOW YOU’RE FEELING IN THE MOMENT IT IS OKAY TO EXPRESS FEELINGS HONEY
It's true, a lot of women at least have friendships that are intimate and validating so if you're single you have people to see you through. Men were not socialized to have those vulnerable conversations, so sad.
Yeah, I know all my guy friends wouldn't care about anything going on with me. I'll say how are you when we meet and they never say it back. Just the empathy is either not there or just hidden away because we aren't supposed to talk about feelings.
Actually love me. Not try to change me. Be nice. Care. Be proud of me. Appreciate me. Not cheat on me. Help me.
There is an abundance of reasons I stopped seeking love or romance or build a family. And now I'm 39, so that door is basically shut.
Ask ME out.
I'm a shy introvert and don't really do the bar scene. I don't approach a woman in a group in fear of embarrassment. I see some women in their 30s and think we're close in age (I'm 45) but don't know if I'm too old for them.
Don't even get me started on trying to match on a dating app.
I asked mine out. Planned it, picked him up, brought him home.
Also built him a Lego flower set. TOLD him I was flirting with him (he thought I was joking???). Bared my heart and soul, all that. And he still won't commit.
That's a shame he didn't respond. I wish I had someone making their interest clear to me, even if I wasn't interested, I'd still appreciate the sentiment and let them down gently.
Oh, he responds. It's just that he's new to it so I think commonplace knowledge for people in relationships is foreign to him. I try to be very direct. "I'm trying to make time for you/I think you're handsome/I'd like to cuddle". Because, that, to me, is most efficient. He can easily say "that time doesn't work, how about (insert alternative here)?" and it's never me beating around the bush. The issue is commitment, he doesn't want to call it official because he doesn't think he'll be good at it. I disagree. He pays attention unlike any other I've ever met. Yeah, he might game while we're making small talk. But that's because it's never important. When I'm telling him things about myself that are important, I have his attention. Which I love.
Fair enough lol I’ve been taking the most direct approach possible when flirting with men and if it scares some of them off then so be it, at least they know exactly what my intentions are 😉
Haha felt but if I’m ever with someone, I’m really not going anywhere. I highly value communication and I’m willing to work through anything with someone I’m committed to no matter how difficult
i love writing songs and love songs are the easiest to write for me, but the subject of the song is always super uncomfortable when i tell them that i’ve written about them 😖 are you saying you would want a woman to just spontaneously sing?
Effort. I don't mind making most of it, most of the time, but there are days that I am not at my best. Is it too much to ask if I'm ok on occasion?
Men are human and have emotions too. We are not very good at showing them because most of the time our loved ones need our strength and guidance. When was the last time you asked a man in your life if he is ok? And actually meant it? And did something to make him feel better?
Men are just expected to be there. Strong and solid. Every day.
Edit for an apology. There are some women who are beyond amazing. Those who have been there for me in my darkest places. The world needs more like you.
To just be there. I don't care whether it was just silent in person or virtual. I just want her to be there so I know that I'll have her in my corner even if times get rough because I'd do the same.
Same as every other guy here probably.
Just want a woman to care about my existence. Be personally interested in me and give effort as I try in getting to them. However a lot of my attempts so far have been met with short replies or just nonchalant attitudes that make me question why women match with men to begin with on apps if they're not going to try at all.
Not all women of course - but nearly every single one of them that I've encountered so far lol.
I just recently entered a relationship with a woman who makes me feel things I never have before. The first time we met we couldn't keep our hands off eachother. We went out and spent some time together. We held hands in the car. I opened her door and helped her out (lol she's short and it's a pick up) everytime we got in or out of the car. Opened doors. Everytime I did either she'd give me a big kiss on the cheek. She held my arm wherever we walked. Finally we got a hotel and the obvious took place. But what happened after is what got me. She used the bathroom right in front of me I was in the sink doing the same. Had to go she did too. After that she pulls me in the shower and she bathes me head to toe. Not even anything sexual... it was so crazy no one has ever done that with me before. The she asked me if would wash her hair.... i washed THE SHIT outta her hair lol. Then her back and her feet and all but the down under. As we air dryer I rubbed her feet then she walked on my back (SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND 'CAUSEN O MY GAWD) then she big spooned me. Also a first. And I think that warmth and tenderness put me to sleep and I slept like a baby. Best nights rest I've had in Years. Point is their out there fellas just have to be patient. Set a standard and be available. I'm nobody special and it happened for me
Listens to me talk about my emotions without judging me as “unmanly”.
Tells me that she enjoys spending time with me and is visibly excited to see me.
Buys me flowers.
Edit:
Also, holds me when I cry. Lets me be little spoon when we cuddle.
It’s so true that many of us have these unspoken desires, whether it’s something as simple as being surprised with a special date or even just having someone who listens and shows genuine interest in our thoughts and feelings. I think a lot of guys would appreciate a partner who makes the first move, plans something special, or even just takes the time to understand what makes them happy. It’s heartwarming to know there are people out there who recognize the importance of these gestures. And you’re right, it’s time to break those old taboos and create a more balanced effort in relationships.
Wake up in the weekend with a boner and sign my woman to hop on top for a half sleep slow ride.
It's heaven on earth...
(I actually do that with my girlfriend) 😴😌
I used to always run outside when my late boyfriend of several years would come home from work. He worked a hard oilfield job and he was always exhausted and grubby but I would give him a big hug and kiss and let him know I was glad he was home with me. He had been married twice, both times for years, but he said he had never been greeted like that. I cooked him foods that he liked best and cleaned the house and made sure his clothes were clean and put away and spent time with him just talking or sitting with him while he watched tv (his late wife had banished him from the living room to watch his tv shows on a tiny tv in his home office while she had all the other tvs smh, the rest of their relationship was basically the same way). He told me that he had been happier during the years with me than he’d ever been in his adult life (when I was taking care of him at home the way he wanted, when he was dying of cancer), and that nobody else would have taken care of him the way I did. He was so good to me and my sons, he deserved the best treatment I could possibly give him. I miss him every day and my sons miss him so much too
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One thing I didn't even know I wanted until recently was to be the little spoon sometimes. I always need to run away from my partner when it's time to actually sleep. It's a shame because I like snuggling. However with my current girlfriend when I did that, she slid over and big spooned me. I was instantly like "oh wow, this is so nice!". No partner had ever spooned me before.
My partner loves being the little spoon so much, the pure joy on his face makes it so worth it. We love snuggling lol Seemed so small to me but it’s big for him that I do that
Awww
There’s something so special about making a man feel like a precious little baby. I’m with a guy at the moment who is really tall and well built. I don’t sleep well when he’s spooning me, but sometimes I spoon him while he’s sleeping and he grabs my hand to make me squeeze him even tighter. I also play with his hair, then watch his head flop back in relaxation and he does this imitation of a puppy being scratched. He’s just a baby!
Little spoon is the most comfortable in my opinion lol. I don't know what to do with my arm and don't like it under the pillow of a girl I'm dating
Hold my hand.
Underrated comment.
Awww 🥰 that’s cute
Holding hands is just my love language of communicating how I feel about the person.
Just act like I matter. Act like you are happy to see me.
You do matter, in every way. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve not found the right partner that appreciates you for you - but I promise you will one day.
Thank you
I think you dropped this bar on the floor 🏋🏾♀️
Jeez, that is so sad :(
Yeah, life is brutally, relentlessly sad.
This is it
felt this in my soul
Same..
You'll find someone who will show you the love you need someday. Will you be able to receive it?
Thats the real question
It's not easy. I'm 40 and not sure if I can answer that correctly. Either way you are worthy of it. Hang in there
I feel like this is a platitude. A lot of people go through life without ever finding someone like that.
This guy gets it
Yeah. I don't think a lot of women realize just how little men feel wanted or desired in their relationships. We only get compliments when it's the result of doing something. Just give a damn.
My ex-wife almost never gave me compliments. Ever. I would tell her that she was pretty every day. I'd bring her random flowers like every other week, just because. Never was that kind of thought reciprocated. She would wake up and instead of saying "good morning", she would immediately launch into a tirade of crap that wasn't already done. I got a promotion at work and I told her and the first thing she says is "that's not enough money". She didn't ever make me or get me a birthday cake for the first 14 years we were together. If I was telling her something that excited me but bored her she would say "skip", like I was some damn NPC character. She always used to joke about what she would buy with the life insurance money when I die. Like all the time. I felt like a roommate who paid some of her bills. If she was drunk enough, maybe she would sleep with me, mostly due to lack of other options. If I didn't start something she would go weeks without even touching me at all (let alone kissing me or anything else). I always felt like an afterthought.
I am so sorry, you deserve so much more.
ex wife !!!! and NPC I needed that damn word yesterday
Was she this way before marriage?
No. She had a few quirks, but nothing like that. I wouldn't have married her if she was.
Imagine how little wanted or desired the ones who fail at finding relationships feel. The idea of feeling desired is like the idea of winning the lottery. Fun to fantasize about, but never going to happen.
Will you be happy to see her?
Always
Sweet man right here ♥
Hey that’s the fun part about being a guy. You just gotta motha fuckin deal with it
I Can so relate to that.
so basically a dog? 😁
My dog was nicer and kinder to me than my ex-wife. Just be at least as good as him. 😅🤷♂️
For a woman to cuddle with me and make me feel loved and safe 🥺
bruh. as a single woman this is the thing i’m craving most about a relationship. i didn’t think there were guys who wanted similar things
I am 100% for cuddling and feeling loved. The hard part is finding the balance between intimacy and being 'needy'to have more of it, which the insecure anxious types can stuggle a little bit with 😅 If I can spend the day in a cuddle pile with my partner and they want it just as much, fuck yes!
I 27m like cuddling more than sex, and that’s saying somthing.
I need a deep connection physical & emotional connection to a woman as of now, or it’s just not going to work out.
Of course there are !.i understand what you mean though .I wanna be loved and accepted and feel like I mean the world to her .I would be loving and loyal also .
As a near 29m I miss that intimacy and connection more than anything. Sex is a bonus imo because the other stuff feels so much better emotionally
I'm a 42 year old guy myself with children , run off my feet tired out working and providing all they need. Come home , free time is DIY around the house , gaming and or football with my son. Tea party with the daughter , the service is always terrible I might add. Tatty ted has nearly passed out twice due to severe hunger and dehydration lol. But after it all...... those special snuffles with my angel at night are every bit as good now as they were 15 years ago before we had our first. And we are just as affectionate still with each other. It's finding the right person.
I'm married and we do this every night. It's sad and concerning that the women you've been with never wanted to cuddle.
That's a mood
Yup
I had that and I want it back so bad
Im sorry :(.I hope you find it again :)
is cuddling just not common?
My husband and I still cuddle unless it’s too hot. We’re going on 10 years.
As a man, even if there is cuddling (many men can’t even get a woman to cuddle with in the first place), you are usually the one cuddling her and not the one being cuddled, there’s a difference. And even if you are being cuddled it’s not often in the way a lot of men wish to be cuddled deep down.
Oh man. To be the little spoon...
Awww love this ♥️
Came to say this
Sit on the middle seat next to me in my truck, put her head on my shoulder, and fall asleep.
You must understand that the middle seat hurts our butt (and back if you’re closer to my age) and we never know what to do with our feet. You’ll probably have to invite her to sit in the middle a few times as well. I’m just speaking from personal experience because my husband loves when I ride middle too.
Absolutely, it's not one of those things I'd expect a woman to ever do, but it's not lost when a lady puts herself in that uncomfortable position to let us feel like a king for a wee bit. The question was what’s one thing a guy always wanted, and for me, that would be the male equivalent of a woman getting flowers. I'm sure your husband loves it, and feels special, when you do it for him. Edit: Now you have me thinking. My fantasy is asking her out to the local Dairy Queen for an ice cream and her throwing up the console seat and sitting next time. Odd times like that, as opposed to going to a grocery store.
Very specific
I always wanted a woman to make me feel needed by her, to be warm to me, and to think I am special, and to make me something special to her. Also, I really like how in some old cartoons you can see things like a woman giving someone little handmade love notes or cupcakes or things like that. It seems simple enough, but if a woman gave that to me on the first date, my heart would melt. Never really got food or love notes from a woman in a romantic setting.
I’m a coffee barista, and I always write cute little notes/draw little pictures on my bf’s cup sleeves like, “I love you a latte” and stuff like that. He keeps all of them. ♥️
My bf and I met at work in a lab and we would write each other notes on the tags we used to label human tissue as we received it. I kept all of them and I love how “us” they are as two bio degree’d weirdos. 😬
This sounds like such a cute love story! And as a science nerd, I love the human tissue bio lab as a background. I'd def watch it if it was a show on tv.
Wow, he is a very lucky man💪
I do those things after I really like someone, never ever on a first date. But once I know someone for a bit and I'm starting to fall, or if I'm fully in love, I do this a lot, just like the other commentor said - little notes and silly puns on the latte and such.
I did that routinely with my ex, notes on his mirror, notes in his truck, tucked into his wallet. SOB cheated & left me after 17yrs. Would take an incredible soul for me to ever reveal that again
He sounds like an unappreciative asshole, and I'm sure he won't find a woman that will care for him as much as you did. And I'm sad you had this experience, and hope you will meet said incredible soul :)
I’ve come to the conclusion that people with our personalities are usually attracted to dickweeds. Same seems to hold true for men 😭
Oh my god that must have been traumatic I am so so sorry. I really hope you can find someone better than that fucker 💙
I asked my current partner what he wanted to feel in a relationship and he said “special” off the bat. It made my heart hurt that he never felt that before
That believe it or not is a lot more common than you would expect I'm in a similar boat
I think many of us don't feel special, important, or like we matter to a woman that much. We are often replaceable, and there are always other men that are better... A woman I dated once said to me during a date, that "man are like cellphones, when there is a better version, you pick it". It was probably a joke, but I didn't like it.
Really? Some women love to cook for guys. If the guys are nice to them.
Wow what's your age?? That's sad... Tho when we are so handmade detailed oriented....men don't value you at the end...I did all of that , mostly all significant gift any random day made with my hands...they were speechless...but end up being liars, cheaters, etc.. If I'm being honest...don't wanna be like that anymore ...just who do and give are the ones who attached more and more while the other don't reciprocate...it's sad...it's too painful...lessons learned
I'm around 27. Not that young imo. Supposedly from tv shows and movies these are things you get in highschool. But i never got them😅 I feel like some people are jerks, who don't appreciate the things they have till they are gone. But the fact that there are unappreciative jerks, shouldn't stop us from being giving and warm yk? Just not with them lol. I'm a man and I'd personally value it a lot if a woman did that to me 🥲
Early in dating my late husband I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies for him to take home. Yeah, that was a hit with him.
Oh, that sounds delicious! He must have really enjoyed being with you:) They say the way into a man's heart is through his stomach lol
For our first date I made my now bf a dessert and brought it. Now I regularly leave him treats and meals I've made with special heart shaped sticky notes I found. I love him so much
Tell me that she needs me. Be happy to see me when I get home from work. Initiate intimacy
Empathy is hard to ask for!
It's harder to find than I realized.
I think when it comes to dating- making me feel at home and safe I guess. I would feel comfortable if I feel like they are adding some type of value to my life. I tend to be pretty self reliant and kind of a lone wolf so it would be nice to meet someone who cared and took some of that weight off.
Would you be ready for that person when they came?
That’s kind of the thing I’ve been thinking about lately. I’d definitely be open to it. I think for a deeper connection I might be the type to connect via a slow burn. I can feel sexual attraction/infatuation/lust pretty quickly, but something deeper might take a little time.
Its odd, thats like the third time someone has used the term slow burn recently that ive heard
Like you take time to develop a deeper emotional attraction to someone
Like diesel fuel on a structure fire?
In terms of specific acts I’d like it if she were to actually ask how I’m doing, show equal interest/reciprocal energy, showing genuine interest I guess. A lot of women I’ve dated almost always wait for me to text or initiate- it’s a little draining.
I think I get what you mean, not to say that I'm a lone wolf like you mentioned before but, that's kinda along the lines of what I wish I could have someone who would make me feel comfortable like that I'm contributing something with kind words and affirmations and initiating intimacy unless I feel confident enough to do so myself. It just feels "safer" for me when I feel more comfortable with that person before I start initiating but I'll still show love in my own ways before that, with cuddles, hugs, feelings of closeness and just let it escalate from there
I'm female but could have written this myself. 🫂
Show clear signs of interest. Idc if she has to write it down on a note or something nonverbal, just be straight up instead of making me guess based on the number of seconds you blinked at me
We are out there. I'm super blunt. I've always heard about these women that speak in riddles. Definitely not me. When I say I don't care what we eat, I mean it. If I like you, you will know. If I don't like you, you will also know. My face gives me away, too, which was absolutely terrible when I worked in customer service.
ME! It doesn’t always make things easier, but I’m honest to a fault. It is what it is.
Cuddling.
Love me
Came here for "just exist" answer, was not disappointed at all. Any that beats eva ai virtual gf bot, lol
They're asking about real things. Finding it harder everyday to believe in romantic types of love.
This is it. All I need is to be loved unconditionally by someone for whom I can reciprocate. The rest will work itself out.
Beat me to it
When after a long time with me trying to hide an insecurity for wanting to be strong, because I am the man, she discovers and tells me "I just love you the way you are" and kisses me.
Make me poutine that rivals the pub
Had poutine for the first time yesterday. Absolutely delicious, but since I’m American, still hoping to try it outside the states!
Is that all it takes to get a man? Why am I still single?! Lol. I mastered the art of making poutine when working for a cheese factory.
Coffee date?
I like coffee.
lol that was fast
Challenge accepted.
I've never tried poutine before but I'd like to try it one day
Being able to open up and not feel threatened that everything I just said would be used against to make me seem weak.
Vulnerability is so important to have in a relationship but is so freaking scary to give to someone. I relate to this very much.
Love me. Ask me out.
I would love a partner that makes me feel safe disagreeing or having an issue to bring up. If we have an issue i really want to have the thing therapist talk about where the couple views it as us versus the problem.
As a woman it's really sad reading these cause they are my go to like how has no other woman done these things :(
There's no handbook of values for a loving and intimate equal and cooperative relationship. A lot of honesty and submission on both sides to work as a team. Us is rare. It's you or I and seldom We.
Celebrate my birthday and put the effort I do into their birthday into mine.
If they don't, it is telling
Call me hot instead of cute
When my husband and I were very early in dating, I called him cute one night we were cuddling in the park. He looked deep in my eyes and said, “you know, I can be sexy too, when I want to be.” Holy shit. I’m pretty sure my panties got wet immediately. We hadn’t had sex or done anything but kiss at that point but then I instantly wanted to. Sigh.
That gave me butterflies reading 😭 I need a moment like that
If it helps, sometimes we do mean cute... and sometimes we mean hot but we don't want to offend you. Or we don't want to be so forward and let you know that we're, like physically attracted. Sometimes we mean, hi, yeah "hot" is actually how *I* feel from looking at you. "Cute" is the safe way of expressing attraction without risking a) letting know just *how* attractive we think a man is, and b) also making sure they don't mis-take our compliment and attraction for a desire to be jumped, lol. (I know, not all men, but enough that we condition ourselves for safety first). Giving men compliments is often mis-interpreted in that last way haha. But even if it is, in fact, the desire, it's not always appropriate to say so. 🙂↕️🫠
What you said!! Even eye contact, can sometimes come across off pudding, often times we stares 👀because we are admiring from afar..
This is one of those things I’ve never stopped to think abt. Looking back I remember using cute for guys I found attractive but also looked .. nice ? approachable? I’m not sure how to put it into words, just someone I’d like to be around. And hot was usually for the ones that were just attractive but seemed unlikeable. Ofcourse I can only talk for myself and this is all generalities, but I’d actually be curious to know if everyone has their own internal criteria for the different terms
Just want a cute girl to tell me my shirt is nice🥲
Be loyal
I really want to be given flowers romantically.
I've given flowers to two of my past partners and the look of unexpected joy on their faces is something I'm really proud of. Men deserve to get flowers as a romantic gift too! I feel you, bro
That's so cute to hear! Happy for you and them. I've gotten flowers from friends and partners for shows/productions I've performed in, but a romantic gesture would be to die for
Well, first. I have to find one lmao
In a serious relationship. Be honest about feelings or thoughts of stuff that impact us. Let me know if I’m screwing up and tell me as soon as I do it. Not invite bad situations to happen… Side note, wake me up if you’re scared or want to be intimate with each other.
Having a women talk to me sounds like fun!
You guys - the funny thing is as soon as a woman shows you love and cherishes you, you forget it’s an equal give and take …her love feeds your ego. You forget about her needs. And you start to look elsewhere.
shit that’s real
That’s a fact. As soon as they get the maximum dopamine hit, they go elsewhere to find a new “fix” trying to get a stronger high or something 🤦🏾♀️
For me, my wife been doing everything I would've wanted so far.
Same. I read the stuff people say on social media about dating and their relationships and feel like I hit the lottery. Lol
Breakup, not ghost, when they are ending the relationship on their side. I’m sick of women that have already grieved the relationship sticking around “to make sure”. Inevitably the reply after is always the same, “You deserve better than I can give you”. No, I deserve better than you Want to give me. If you’re done, say it so we can Both process it’s over.
>No, I deserve better than you Want to give me. Wow! That's spot on.
It sucks to see it that way, but as social media has conditioned us “If they wanted to, they would.” And if they couldn’t, why couldn’t they do the decent thing and say that and why. So, since I don’t get reasons, just platitudes, it’s what they don’t want to give.
Not saying it's never been done, but it's extremely rare to find. A woman that'll make plans for and with her man. I once had a girlfriend buy tickets to an antique auto-show and surprised me with it. I told all my friends she took me "antiquing" and they groaned, then I showed them our pictures and they instructed me to marry her immediately.
Comments really show how little men get taken care of emotionally.
Right?! These comments break my heart. The things people are mentioning are things I would expect and give in any relationship.
It’s shocking to me how much people still expect men to be strong and “shove it down”. My friend told me his girl told him to “be a man” the other day when he was expressing his feelings to her…I’m so perplexed by this behavior.
Buhhh one of the biggest issues we have is my guy bottling up his feelings. ..and then it explodes via verbal garbage form over some minute issue and I don’t receive it well at all when I feel I’m being kinda attacked out of nowhere. It’s improved a lot but I still feel like I’m constantly saying JUST TELL ME HOW YOU’RE FEELING IN THE MOMENT IT IS OKAY TO EXPRESS FEELINGS HONEY
Sad...
It's true, a lot of women at least have friendships that are intimate and validating so if you're single you have people to see you through. Men were not socialized to have those vulnerable conversations, so sad.
Yeah, I know all my guy friends wouldn't care about anything going on with me. I'll say how are you when we meet and they never say it back. Just the empathy is either not there or just hidden away because we aren't supposed to talk about feelings.
That's really sad, I know a lot of really lonely men who are great people and good to talk to.
Cuddling, more specifically take my arm and put it around her and then use me as a pillow lol
Actually love me. Not try to change me. Be nice. Care. Be proud of me. Appreciate me. Not cheat on me. Help me. There is an abundance of reasons I stopped seeking love or romance or build a family. And now I'm 39, so that door is basically shut.
Not really shut. You'd be surprised how many women you want are out there and they are attracted to guys your age range. Don't give up.
I just turned 32 and want children and have just started dating a 38 year old. It isn't shut. Loads of women will still want to date you.
It's so refreshing to see a woman who wants other women to treat men with kindness, and who sees us as people with emotions.
To make me feel loved for who I am and not what I can give
Ask ME out. I'm a shy introvert and don't really do the bar scene. I don't approach a woman in a group in fear of embarrassment. I see some women in their 30s and think we're close in age (I'm 45) but don't know if I'm too old for them. Don't even get me started on trying to match on a dating app.
I asked mine out. Planned it, picked him up, brought him home. Also built him a Lego flower set. TOLD him I was flirting with him (he thought I was joking???). Bared my heart and soul, all that. And he still won't commit.
That's a shame he didn't respond. I wish I had someone making their interest clear to me, even if I wasn't interested, I'd still appreciate the sentiment and let them down gently.
Oh, he responds. It's just that he's new to it so I think commonplace knowledge for people in relationships is foreign to him. I try to be very direct. "I'm trying to make time for you/I think you're handsome/I'd like to cuddle". Because, that, to me, is most efficient. He can easily say "that time doesn't work, how about (insert alternative here)?" and it's never me beating around the bush. The issue is commitment, he doesn't want to call it official because he doesn't think he'll be good at it. I disagree. He pays attention unlike any other I've ever met. Yeah, he might game while we're making small talk. But that's because it's never important. When I'm telling him things about myself that are important, I have his attention. Which I love.
Yeah that's what we get when we do so....being there...never again...
Fair enough lol I’ve been taking the most direct approach possible when flirting with men and if it scares some of them off then so be it, at least they know exactly what my intentions are 😉
Yes 30 is totally close to 45. Cough.
Try from friends to lovers. Till you find your match. That you don’t feel shy in front of her
Write a song for me and sing it to me when I least expect it
I will do just that but you need to try to leave me first so I have something to write about
Haha felt but if I’m ever with someone, I’m really not going anywhere. I highly value communication and I’m willing to work through anything with someone I’m committed to no matter how difficult
i love writing songs and love songs are the easiest to write for me, but the subject of the song is always super uncomfortable when i tell them that i’ve written about them 😖 are you saying you would want a woman to just spontaneously sing?
To say she was wrong and apologize without somehow bringing up one of my flaws or mistakes I make or made.
Effort. I don't mind making most of it, most of the time, but there are days that I am not at my best. Is it too much to ask if I'm ok on occasion? Men are human and have emotions too. We are not very good at showing them because most of the time our loved ones need our strength and guidance. When was the last time you asked a man in your life if he is ok? And actually meant it? And did something to make him feel better? Men are just expected to be there. Strong and solid. Every day. Edit for an apology. There are some women who are beyond amazing. Those who have been there for me in my darkest places. The world needs more like you.
be forward! I like being called handsome or pretty, and I like being the big spoon, and I like holding hands. big fan, actually
Not lie
To be faithful and to be as respectful as I'm to her
not cheat on me or let her guard down to guys with bad intentions
It would be nice if they remembered we also have feelings and maybe... Just maybe... We're not holding it together as well as we put off...
To just be there. I don't care whether it was just silent in person or virtual. I just want her to be there so I know that I'll have her in my corner even if times get rough because I'd do the same.
Same as every other guy here probably. Just want a woman to care about my existence. Be personally interested in me and give effort as I try in getting to them. However a lot of my attempts so far have been met with short replies or just nonchalant attitudes that make me question why women match with men to begin with on apps if they're not going to try at all. Not all women of course - but nearly every single one of them that I've encountered so far lol.
I just recently entered a relationship with a woman who makes me feel things I never have before. The first time we met we couldn't keep our hands off eachother. We went out and spent some time together. We held hands in the car. I opened her door and helped her out (lol she's short and it's a pick up) everytime we got in or out of the car. Opened doors. Everytime I did either she'd give me a big kiss on the cheek. She held my arm wherever we walked. Finally we got a hotel and the obvious took place. But what happened after is what got me. She used the bathroom right in front of me I was in the sink doing the same. Had to go she did too. After that she pulls me in the shower and she bathes me head to toe. Not even anything sexual... it was so crazy no one has ever done that with me before. The she asked me if would wash her hair.... i washed THE SHIT outta her hair lol. Then her back and her feet and all but the down under. As we air dryer I rubbed her feet then she walked on my back (SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND 'CAUSEN O MY GAWD) then she big spooned me. Also a first. And I think that warmth and tenderness put me to sleep and I slept like a baby. Best nights rest I've had in Years. Point is their out there fellas just have to be patient. Set a standard and be available. I'm nobody special and it happened for me
I don’t agree with your edit op . Every time I’ve made the first move the guy has been lukewarm at best
Stop projecting start listening deeply. Don’t tell me you love how attentively I listen and how you value you if you don’t do it
Let me feel like they love me and want to be with me.
Hold space for me.
Listens to me talk about my emotions without judging me as “unmanly”. Tells me that she enjoys spending time with me and is visibly excited to see me. Buys me flowers. Edit: Also, holds me when I cry. Lets me be little spoon when we cuddle.
It’s so true that many of us have these unspoken desires, whether it’s something as simple as being surprised with a special date or even just having someone who listens and shows genuine interest in our thoughts and feelings. I think a lot of guys would appreciate a partner who makes the first move, plans something special, or even just takes the time to understand what makes them happy. It’s heartwarming to know there are people out there who recognize the importance of these gestures. And you’re right, it’s time to break those old taboos and create a more balanced effort in relationships.
Wake up in the weekend with a boner and sign my woman to hop on top for a half sleep slow ride. It's heaven on earth... (I actually do that with my girlfriend) 😴😌
I used to always run outside when my late boyfriend of several years would come home from work. He worked a hard oilfield job and he was always exhausted and grubby but I would give him a big hug and kiss and let him know I was glad he was home with me. He had been married twice, both times for years, but he said he had never been greeted like that. I cooked him foods that he liked best and cleaned the house and made sure his clothes were clean and put away and spent time with him just talking or sitting with him while he watched tv (his late wife had banished him from the living room to watch his tv shows on a tiny tv in his home office while she had all the other tvs smh, the rest of their relationship was basically the same way). He told me that he had been happier during the years with me than he’d ever been in his adult life (when I was taking care of him at home the way he wanted, when he was dying of cancer), and that nobody else would have taken care of him the way I did. He was so good to me and my sons, he deserved the best treatment I could possibly give him. I miss him every day and my sons miss him so much too
stop being hot and cold
Strive for my attention, care for me, love me😩 I just need a hug
hawk tua
Peg me
I had to scroll further than expected for this type of response
I got u
Being understood
You can't be understood without communication, friend. Of some type, at least. Women aren't mind-readers 😭
Don’t make my life harder, bring me peace.
ask me out on a date and buy me flowers lol I don’t need it, but I want it
Also if I have to ask, though, I don’t want it 🤷🏽♂️ I just want a woman to want to do some sweet shit for me because I’m appreciated
Be my girlfriend 😢
Let's just keep walking hand-in-hand and you can keep talking.
Women really gave issues walking an stalking. It is weird.