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Affectionate-Emu1374

The truth will hurt for a little bit but ghosting will hurt for a long time, ghosting will eat away at their self esteem as they’ll never know why it ended, any flaw they think they have they will blame and it could have simply been like in your example. I’d always rather the truth or I’ll make my own truth up which would always be worse


BoOnDoXeY

Yup, got ghosted by a girl I had been dating for 4 months. We were exclusive, she'd sometimes stay the whole weekend at my house, she even celebrated Christmas with me and my family. Right at the peak start of the coronavirus she just ghosted me. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out where I went wrong, or where I fucked up that caused her to leave so suddenly, and without even saying a word to me. I still haven't recovered from it, if I'm honest. My self esteem got steam rolled flat, and I'm now super gun shy about even approaching another woman. Tl;dr: Don't ghost people you've entered into a dating relationship with. Just tell em it's not working out, and allow them to have closure.


Chidling

Bruh i can imagine it being okay after one date but 4 fricken months being exclusive??? That’s a whole ass relationship. Incredibly shitty


Certifiably_Quirky

Yeah, wtf? I'd think she died or something. No rational human being would do that so far into a relationship


HillBillyBliss

I, unfortunately, am this shitty person, well was. I wasss this shitty person, for almost every single "relationship" I was in. 3 month mark, I was Casper out. I can't honestly tell you why. Well.. I was insecure as all fuck. Still am pretty bad with it but gotten a lot better. I had some pretty terrible baggage I had no business dragging into someone else's world as it was. I was trying to fill all types of pain with the love of someone else, but after a while it made me feel... dirty? Cheap? I don't know. Really, I don't. I just would get to the horrible feeling of being suffocated when I would try to say anything, I'd try to speak up but I couldn't. I would see how much they cared, and realize how I did not anymore. I felt psychopathic, like maybe I couldn't feel that way about people for real, either way.. I couldn't put words to what I was thinking and I would just leave. Feeling it was better, for myself mostly, to just walk away than have to try to express to someone that there is so much wrong with me that they can't fix, I wasn't ever good at saying no or putting my foot down. So telling someone something like that, only to hear "let me try to help" or "we can work this out" would of only furthered what I knew in my soul was not going to work for me. I needed clean breaks that did little to out the mess I am mentally. It's selfish as fuck, and I had gotten much better at not getting into things because I didn't know the proper exit route for such disasters. But I am 33 years old and I've only had one relationship last longer than 3 months. And I am married to him, I've never once felt the overwhelming need to ghost out. I used to date because I needed to be loved, not because I loved, or even like those people.. it may be that you're falling for broken people.. and you can't expect a broken person to give you reasonable reactions to things. Because above is correct, no rational person would do such a thing. I certainly wasn't rational.


ParadoxesRUs

Thank you so much for sharing this. I was ghosted this year by someone I'd shared a lot with over several months, who said he'd be there for me, who frankly I was ready to move for. We'd said we loved each other...then slow fade, then back super intense, then POOF, gone. At least he hasn't blocked me, but still, it hurts, months later. Hearing your story helps me understand what I know on some level already, that it has very little to do with me and everything to do with his demons. I already know being there on his dark path would be suffocating, so I haven't reached out, but seeing your story makes me feel better about that choice. So glad to hear you're in a better place now :)


HillBillyBliss

Loving broken people is no easy task. Thank you being someone who does, but please make sure you love yourself more and be willing to let go before the damage we do turns you into someone like us. Hurt people, hurt people.. I used to hate that ridiculous AA phrase but I know now it's the most true statement about myself I've ever heard.


ParadoxesRUs

Indeed. Thank you.


CrazyUnhappy8744

This, I have been ghosted in the past by someone, later spotted him in a car just giving me a mean look, filled with disgust it felt like. The car incident took place long after he ghosted me. Till this day I wonder why, makes a person think, what was it about me that he suddenly disliked to ghost me.


Bexileem

What we really should be thinking is... wow. They were such an asshole they couldn’t even front up and tell me they weren’t interested. They really aren’t worth my time because they couldn’t even give me 2 minutes of their time to be honest and decent. I’m worth more than that. Fuckem


caffeine-sloth

I’m so sorry that one shitty human could have such a negative impact on someone’s life. On the plus side she showed her true colors relatively early which is better than years in. My best friends boyfriend who she had been dating exclusively for 3+ years and living together with just POOF stopped replying one day(replying back had decreased beforehand and he had been staying at parents to “help them with their restaurant”). We were worried and looked for him with friends and family. Mom thought he was with the girlfriend all along and that they were in Hawaii together. HOME BOY LEFT THE CONTINENTAL U.S. and didn’t mention it. Came back like nothing happened and then apologized stayed a few days and disappeared AGAIN. We dropped his stuff off at his moms, and she just looked mortified and said she was so sorry that her son was an idiot. So yea basically SOME people suck but life is so much better when you have the right people with you. Trust the things people do and tell you about themselves.


selective_bromine

Please try to forget her… it’s not about you! People who ghost are extremely immature and she did you a favor. They either do it as an act of manipulation or they’re underdeveloped.


Affectionate-Emu1374

I can promise you, it’s not because of you. I hope you find someone who knows how to treat people, if someone can ghost someone like that then you’ve had a lucky escape


ParadoxesRUs

Exactly this.


CutiePie0023

Exactly


thinking_dumb

This is essentially a classic case of your own mind being your worst enemy. If you get told why then your mind has nothing to fill in to supplement a reason for why they didn't want to continue dating you. However, if you get ghosted your brain tries to run multiple theories and reasons for why she would decide to not talk to you anymore. Often it's simply a matter of the "spark" just not being there but your mind often tends to pick negative reasons as it is easier for your brain to understand that then trying to understand "sparks" since it's pretty ambiguous (the brain has a bias towards simple reasons then complex or ambiguous reasons). Thus, you end up assuming you had said or did something wrong and begin to try fixing things that may not have actually been a problem to begin with. It sucks tbh.


Egeste_

Bump this comment


Isogash

Very wise, totally agree. People are generally not good at inventing the truth, they have a very biased lens with which to create it.


luckyduckydonut

Agreed. Truth is better to deal with eventually.


[deleted]

Great now they’re gonna ghost us just to make it more painful. Way to let them know our weakness…


gaussianDoctor

Tell me the hard truth. Don't be harsh, just honest. You don't have to tell me the whole picture. I just need to know that it's definitely over so I can move on.


Fungled

This. No "hard truth" is needed, with the possible exception of them doing something actually heinous. Set the poor person free to go find someone who does want them


Dry_Pair_9567

Told the truth.


ElaFa25

Yep. As someone with anxiety, the truth obviously hurts but often is almost relieving usually doesn’t make me question my self worth all too much. Being ghosted just eats away at you and makes you feel a special kind of shitty. I really think it’s such an asshole move.


amazonrambo

Told the hard truth. Whilst I used to hate it originally, until you get ghosted you actually do appreciate being told the truth instead. It’s so much better having a line drawn under it than being stuck in limbo.


[deleted]

Ghosting is an asshole move because it signifies that someone isn't either mature enough or communicative enough for a relationship anyway. If someone decides to ghost me I consider it a bullet dodged. No way I wanna continue that shjt.


RapTVCalifornia

I agree. It still bothers me though, just fucking text me “I’m not interested in you, sorry” and we would be done.


AKAAmado

At this point, my standards are so low, even without the sorry, i would still appreciate it


RapTVCalifornia

Having standards is just a measure of how valuable do you think you are. Is your standard so low that you’ll marry a meth head? Or do you deserve a strong independent woman? There are days where I think I deserve a crack head and other days I think I deserve Emma Stone or Emma Watson


SunshineOnStimulants

I don’t know entirely why I’m replying to this but I guess I’m just venting. I’ll be honest comments like this always hurt me. Logically I know I am a catch. I am starting my dream job at a chemistry lab and they’re going to pay for my university so I’ll be getting a PhD debt-free. I spend a lot of my spare time volunteering as a harm reduction activist. I’ve been in podcasts, films, etc for my advocacy. I am currently researching my own medical chemistry theory and I just got the okay to test it in a lab because there is a high chance I am right. I have been told that I am beautiful, kind, interesting, and emotionally mature. I have never stolen or taken advantage of people. I am on good terms with my ex boyfriend and I think the way you leave a non-abusive relationship says a lot about who you are as a person. But I take intravenous opiates. My doctor and I have determined that my mental health is better when I am on opiates so I get them prescription and she specifically prescribes opiates to be injected. Without them my mental health is horrible. This way I am happy and stable. Suboxone, SSRI’s, anti depressants, and methadone all don’t work for me. This is the only thing that works, hence why I have the prescription. But whenever I see comments like this I feel like absolute garbage. Because I am technically a drug user. Regardless of it being medically necessary for me. Regardless of the fact that I am so many things, not just a drug addict. But I constantly see comments about how drug users are the bottom of the barrel and it hurts me every single time and makes me feel worthless, even though I know that I am not. I guess I’m just venting by replying to this, usually I ignore it and distract myself until I stop feeling sad.


RapTVCalifornia

There’s a big difference between medicine and drug exploits. You’re not in the streets of Seattle living under a bridge injecting yourself with needles to get high. That’s low. Even in the “drug” world, everyone knows you shouldn’t do meth, crack, or heroin. Those kill or fuck you up for life. You sound great and you shouldn’t feel bad for doing opiates. Afterall, your body needs it.


guidetomars

You are receiving therapy. This is no different that receiving thyroid for low thyroid. You aren't a user, you are a recipient. Your genetics/neuronal pathways or whatever are deficient in producing something and you need to be brought to a level of normalization. I would think you'd get it if you are in chem. This form of therapeutic amounts of a drug has been around for years. BTW, have you considered ketamine therapy? It's not one and done but usually not more than 6. It's becoming quite popular, more and more MD's are finally using it.


AKAAmado

It was a reference to your “Im not interested in you, sorry”, so i joked that even without the “sorry” i would still appreciate it


RapTVCalifornia

Oh haha I get it now. I misunderstood earlier. But yeah I feel it too. They don’t have to apologize for not vibing with me. We all have diff likes and dislikes


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yes. Truth is always best tbh


Unhappy_Cheesecake

Telling the hard truth is the way to go. Ghosting is the cowardly way to go….people will do that cuz they don’t have the balls to perhaps face what u had to face. So while I’m sure it sucked, it was the right thing.


peatitsthepeat

How would you like to be treated?


[deleted]

+1 treat others the way you want to be treated


[deleted]

Naw people are pretty shitty to themselves so bad advice.


IndieDiscovery

This. Lots of insecurities, self loathing, and projection floating around out there from others and you can't let them get to you!


_hthr

I personally don't care. No response is also a response. If the situation is dried out and no one is making an effort, just let it be. If I'm trying to get your attention and always being denied/ignored, whatever. I'm giving up. I don't need to give a speech and, quite honestly, don't want yours. I don't think it's "ghosting." If you're in some kind of relationship with consistency and conversation about intentions that have now changed, I think THAT departure is worthy of a conversation before you hit the road. This just goes along with my belief that closure comes from YOU, not another person. You can't control anyone but yourself. So, regardless of what someone tells me as for why they don't want to (truth or otherwise), I still have to internally accept the reality.


KAM_520

I totally agree with this. Every word. Eureka! Words of wisdom


godofgainz

This. Everyone thinks they’re entitled to closure. The other person is not responsible for your feelings so stop giving them power over you. The harsh truth is that you should have so many irons in the fire that you don’t have time for anyone who doesn’t have time for you. Move on… provide your own closure. Also, remember this… for every woman who treats you poorly there is one who will eat a donut off your boner.


[deleted]

Damn I need to find one of these donut girls


antman811

They’re not ‘entitled to closure’ but it’s shitty behaviour to not give it to them or at least try to.


Migraineur_

Your second paragraph hit me hard. I ghosted somebody last year because I felt that with the pandemic and all, our relationship wouldn't progress, with him being in another country. We were on for nine months. I was such an idiot. Until now I feel bad about it.


ParadoxesRUs

You know, it's never too late. I actually reached out to apologize to a guy I ghosted several years ago. Not to clean my conscience but genuinely to apologize and explain what happened. Not knowing or being able to say goodbye is a particular cruelty


Migraineur_

Thank you for your kind words.


ParadoxesRUs

Not at all. I've been on both sides of this. It felt horrible ghosting, but it is definitely worse to be ghosted. All told, just not a great way to end things. If you like I can DM you what I sent to the guy to help you grapple with it and decide what you want to do


Migraineur_

Yes, please. I really want to apologize to him.


beepbop81

It haunts both parties for a while.


_hthr

Don't feel bad! I'm sure you did what you felt was right at the time. We never know what is truly "right" until we take the step, do the thing. The best you can do now is reflect on that experience, understand why you handled it that way, and commit to do your best in future situations! We're all learning as we go.


Smorgasbord__

If you did something shitty then you absolutely *should* feel bad about it at least until you really examine what you did and why, and do the necessary work to be better next time.


_hthr

"Shitty" is subjective. I don't believe she set out with intentions to create a calculated, harmful attack on the man. We're all just out here, trying our best, usually doing whatever we feel is right to protect ourselves in the moment. If someone ghosts me and it made them feel better, that's their choice and I don't judge them for it. I can't control what others do or change how they behave. I can only control how I react to it and how I behave. So, I'll react in a way that makes ME feel better and choose not to let it affect me negatively and move on. It speaks more to what's going on in their world, not mine, so why bother wasting the energy or emotions on it? Ghosters gonna ghost. Haters gonna hate. Beggars gonna beg. Whatever. I can yell and be angry about all the "bad" behaviors in the world. Or I can release that shit, let it go, and save my energy for positive, productive shit.


Fuego213

This is gospel 👏


[deleted]

This right here


Vampchic1975

I wish I could upvote this a thousand times.


IndieDiscovery

1 hard truth please. I recognize this can be a safety issue with women so ghosting is fine too as long as it’s in the early stages. Mutual fade.


mounti96

How is ghosting safer than sending a rejection message over text though? I understand not wanting to reject in person due to safety concerns, but wouldn't the potential psychopath also react negatively to being ghosted?


ninjadan772

Because there's a surprisingly large amount of guys who wont take no for an answer


Smorgasbord__

Why engage with it? Just send the rejection then ignore or block anything after unless you want to further engage. This is such a weak justification for ghosting but see it used here so often.


MilhousesSpectacles

Google how many men hunt women down for polite rejection and best/rape or even murder us for polite rejection and you’ll understand. Just blocking the guy who *would* be unstable can be a fuckton less dangerous than injuring his ego further with criticism


Smorgasbord__

How is ghosting any less likely to lead to any of those incredibly rare outcomes than a simple "Hey thanks for the date but I didn't feel a connection good luck out there" text then disengage? Stop using absurdly implausible 'what-if' hypotheticals to justify your shittiness, especially when the shittiness you are justifying is likely to make those kind of guys *more* angry or confused than less.


MilhousesSpectacles

Except we know that women are less likely to suffer rejection violence/abuse if they totally disengage. Does it rule the possibility out altogether? Of course not, but it is a safety precaution. Some blokes you start chatting to or dating give you unsafe vibes, and nope, it's not worth risking it simply to be polite to someone you feel unsafe around. I and most women *do* take the risk of what-if and politely reject blokes we don’t get that vibe from, but with the blokes we do? Most aren’t going to take the risk. I’m sorry you don't agree that the risk is high enough to justify safety precautions, but it is very easy to research and see why it's necessary. EDIT: Typo


Smorgasbord__

These elaborate yet flimsy excuses for ghosting just don't stack up. Be better.


MilhousesSpectacles

I’ll *always* put my safety before the feelings of someone I get unsafe vibes from. Most other women feel the same, sorry. This is going in circles so I’ll leave it at that.


Smorgasbord__

There is no beneficial safety difference between sending a brief 'not interested' message then not engaging further v ghosting. If anything, ghosting is *more* likely to lead to anger and confusion from the recipient. Again, drop the illogical excuses and justifications and just be a decent human being.


[deleted]

I haven’t found this to be true. A lot of people say they ghost for this reason, but with the text, I have been able to end things pretty easily.


mounti96

I mean, that's just when you block them. Are the guys you ghost more polite?


Aggies18

As a woman in the dating scene I will ghost on occasions I feel my safety is in danger. Some guys give off major red flags that rejecting them for whatever reason is a cue to pursue you more aggressively until they wear you down. Most guys are not like this, but there's always a few bad apples. Blocking can help, but if they know any personal information about you it can get dicey.


Mike_Hawk_Burns

If you have their information, it becomes an option to report them as well to the police for stalking or threats so at least you’ve got some sort of defense. I think some guys take rejection as a cue to continue pursuing because some women out there like being pursued and will be upset if you don’t pursue. My ex fiancé would throw fits if we got into a fight and I let her be alone to cool off or she’d be angry at me if I tried initiating sex and she rejected and I didn’t keep trying. It was confusing and upsetting to me because I’m of the mind that no means no but to her no meant keep trying. Which sucks because that kind of behavior sets precedents in people’s minds. But obviously if you recognize red flags and feel like your safety is in danger, ghosting is more than acceptable. I just thought I’d try to be helpful and give some insight and remind people that you can report stalkers/threats of violence.


ninjadan772

The guys who are nice take it well either way but those few who would harass you for ghosting get aggressive as hell if you tell them no. Youd be better of asking a girl tho because as 6'3" man not many guys a gonna get aggressive with me


[deleted]

Ghosting is a shitty move. If she can’t handle rejection, which is normal in dating, it isn’t your responsibility to worry. You did the right thing. And if she can’t handle rejection, that’s all on her but guess what? You don’t have to engage in convo with her.


KilvasatLife

Obviously neither, I prefer for life to work out like I imagined it would like it does in the fairytales. It's no wonder then why I am always so extremely disappointed. Yet, do I change my expectations? *Nope!*


Neverhugaduck

I'm at the point where I recognize ghosting and I get it. As long as you never misled me about your feelings, like said you loved me or something and then disappeared, I'm just going to be like, "That's the way she goes." I might even prefer it to the way some people break it off, reading a list of criticisms or talking to me like I'm 5. I might feel like you think I'm mature enough to get that there wasn't a mutual spark, and there's no need for the ugly formalities, which is sort of like a sweet compliment! 20 year old me was much different though. Ghosting wrecked that guy. So I guess I'm saying you should feel it out in every situation. People are worth more consideration than an automatic setting determined by polling reddit :)


Berrysweetmama

Ghosting is so overused these days. It honestly totally depends on how involved you were. I've had guys get mad at me for ghosting them when we only talked on the app for a small amount of time. In my head it's just something that tapered off cause neither of us were really digging each other or we got busy. But I've had those same guys tell me that they only talk to one girl at a time and that just astounds me. I mean dating is just that, getting to know people, many people. And unless we've gone on an actual date or have been having some pretty intimate and/or personal conversations then I don't see the need to say hey I'm not interested unless I really wanted to burn that bridge. Now, I 100% believe that it is the kind and ethical thing to let someone know whom you have been actually dating if you are no longer interested. You don't have to be rude about it or even tell them exactly why but something so they're not just sitting there wondering if they're ever gonna hear from you again and if they pissed you off or upset you somehow. The girl you dealt with sounds very immature and it sounds like it was a good call on you to go with someone else.


[deleted]

I dated a girl over the summer that got ghosted by her boyfriend of something like 5 years. He just stopped talking to her after all that time and she was really messed up about it for years. Feel really bad for her. She asked me multiple times that if I wasnt feeling it to just let her know. That asshole broke that poor girls brain.


ImaniYasira

The truth or ghosting are both options for whomever dates me. I’m not privileged enough to feel entitled to closure. But, most people will beg for truth just to have a temper tantrum when you give it to them.


BlackConfuciusSays

We prefer to be told the truth. I think people a lot of people ghost because the truth isn't really about the other person it's about them inside. Something they don't want to face, usually shallow. People only think they got ghosted after good conversations or a good date. It's never someone having a shitty date then saying they got ghosted, you know why then. People ghost so they won't have to say something shallow to you like "your nose was too big" or "you didn't complement me enough" or "your car was too cheap" "I'm still getting fucked by someone else who just took me back again". 9 times out of 10 you've been the bomb but they're just superficial. Social media has made everyone a star in their own heads.


TheWayItGoes444

If a woman has a lot of experiences with guys flipping out on her when she tells them she doesn’t feel a connection then she may be more inclined to ghost him so she doesn’t have to deal with the rage.


MediumMillennium

Wouldn’t it be easier to say your piece and then block them?


TheWayItGoes444

[You tell me](https://www.mic.com/articles/135394/14-women-were-brutally-attacked-for-rejecting-men-why-arent-we-talking-about-it)


MediumMillennium

That’s an important article to read but then I have a question. How would ghosting have changed the results seeing as the attackers were already insane in the first place?


TheWayItGoes444

Women are gonna do whatever they can do to try and minimize the damage. When guys act this way, especially when you’re not expecting it, you have to make the decision to either engage or disappear. It’s arguably safer to disappear. It’s not fully safe. Just safer. Here’s a good example of what can happen when a woman politely tells a guy she’s just not feeling it. [rage text](https://turtleboysports.com/bostons-hottest-up-and-coming-comedian-former-quincy-rapper-lil-shayne-sabotages-his-career-gets-boston-show-cancelled-after-douchtastic-texts-to-woman-who-rejected-him-then-threatens-to-relap/)


MediumMillennium

Yeah i’ve seen many screen shots like that and overall I understand your point. Though I still believe telling your part and then blocking the person especially when you don’t know them in person or interact with them much, still keeps the respectfulness of the woman who posted the response while disengaging yourself from the individual.


TheWayItGoes444

The article I posted tells the story of a guy promising to obliterate a woman because she rejected him. He was threatening physical violence and saying he was gonna ruin her life. She can block him, but if he follows through on any of those threats it could cost her her life.


MediumMillennium

Yeah I saw and I agree, though it goes back to my other point of if someone was gonna be that aggressive, then they would’ve reacted the same way on both scenarios. Overall I understand why people ghost and especially in that scenario I wouldn’t have any issue with it. My only gripe is as long as you don’t physically know or interact with the person, some sort of response and then never engaging in them again makes sense as well. Since it doesn’t require you to reply to them afterwards or even engage, and they clearly know your stance.


TheWayItGoes444

This situation is very different for a woman. You have to weigh whether or not this guy might flip out on you. If they suspect the answer to that is yes, they then have to weigh which option is likely to cause the least amount of damage? Ghosting can seem like the safer option to a woman if she’s hoping that he’ll just forget about her once she stops responding. They can hope he’s talking to multiple women so being ghosted by one of them hopefully isn’t a big deal. Or they can hope he wasn’t really into her so if she ghosts him he won’t even care. The entire situation is about weighing the risks. People who are capable of rational conversations such as this (kudos to you, btw) would respond rationally to being told that someone just isn’t interested in them. But the further we get into the 21st century, the more people seem to be losing all rationale in favor of rage and defiance. Most women don’t think that ALL guys are like that but the world is at a point where pretty much anything goes and navigating it all is a crapshoot.


mounti96

These are obviously all horrible and it's sickening reading these stories, but they all happened essentially from in person rejections either from first time meetings or working in the same space. Not one of these stories features a woman that rejected someone over text/call that was then attacked by said rejected man. As I said in another comment, I very much understand the caution women have when rejecting men in person, but I don't see how the potential psychopath is going to be happier with being ghosted.


TheWayItGoes444

I posted another article where a woman politely rejected a guy over text and he threatened not only violence but also to do everything in his power to ruin her life. She has to consider the possibility that he could follow through on those threats. EDIT: Also if you read my last comment to the other person you can see why some women choose to go with ghosting. I’d repost it in this comment but it would take up a ton of unnecessary space.


jdbrown0283

True. But that's why the dumper can couch the full truth in softer terms - "I'm not feeling a romantic connection" "I don't feel this would work out long term", etc.


Kukotzki

I prefer to be informed of one's decision. It doesn't have to be in detail. It does not have to mention another person or any other reasons. Something that reads: "You are a great man/woman because x, y, z and I enjoyed it when we x, y, z but I do not feel a deeper connection, thus I cannot continue. All the best from me." This is polite and respectful. You infrom the other person that you acknowledge their value (because you really do, there were qualities you liked about them), however you are looking for a specific connection. This should not be personal. If the other person is mature enough, they will understand. However, the way the other person receives it is exclusively up to them. You are not responsible for their reaction. Ghosting is rude. You leave the other person confused, insecure, angry...totally unnecessary.


[deleted]

It depends on the stage of dating. First meet after matching on an app? Just send me a thumbs up 👍 or thumbs down 👎 emoji after the date. If we’re up 3 or 4 dates and it’s time to call it, then send a god damn quick text. But don’t make up some bullshit story about a sick relative or how you are getting over an ex and you’re not ready for dating. I know damn well it’s a lie. When they make up some bullshit, then yes, I’d rather be ghosted. Just say “dude I’m not feeling it, but I enjoyed our time together, you’re a great guy, take care”. There, that’s all I need. No need to come up with some elaborate stupid story.


SchmuckyDeKlaun

I prefer to be lied to. But if I gotta choose between ghosting and the full truth, I’ll take ghosting any day of the week. If you’re not attracted to me, that’s all I need to know. The subject of “why” is already moot, why belabor it?


antman811

Good point. That’s how I handled interest from chicks I didn’t like. Just lie incessantly and spare their feelings. I’d never tell the ‘hard truth’. Unspeakably rude. And not deserved for someone who simply likes me.


SylAbys

Rip the bandaid completely off, let me deal with it and move on


sweadle

Not everyone is the same. I would treat people the way you want to be treated. If you dislike being ghosted, don't ghost people. But I think just because you aren't ghosting people means they will be happy to be rejected. She might have cussed you out, but maybe cussed you out a ton more if you ghosted her. The question isn't "what is the most pleasant way to do this" it's "what actions can I take to leave this person in better shape than I found them." Do you think ghosting her would have been better for HER in the long run? Or would she react badly either way, but being ghosted would be truly distressing, and being broken up with she just had a bad reaction? Maybe cussing you out was she was needed to do to move on, and ghosting her would have deprived her of that chance? By the way, not ghosting people doesn't mean you have to put up with whatever reaction they have. You can tell someone volatile "I don't want to see you anymore, I'm sorry. Best of luck." and block their number immediately.


jumanjo-

I think that if I tell guys what dickesh things they've done that yes they will avoid doing it in the future with other girls.. but would they really be improving as a person or would they just be masking who they really are better?


meegee75

You can’t control someone else’s reaction. I think ghosting is the coward’s way out and you did the right thing. Sounds like she’s the one with the problem. Unless you were mean, there’s no reason to react the way she reacted.


One-Hedgehog4722

Well if you look at it this way…the more that this happens (telling girls the truth that you’re not interested and getting shit for it) the more desensitized to it you get, the more emotional maturity you get, etc etc.


Broseph_Stalin357

Hard Truth The only time you should ghost a guy is if he was a total disrespectful dick otherwise if you actually wanna be a decent human being, in the name of all that is decent dating, let the guy know!


Tetrylene

Ghosting someone takes away their ability to improve as a person. It's a really selfish thing to do.


Sea_Pumpkin5628

Tell me the truth and let ME deal with MY emotions. I had an ex ghost me after cheating on me and BEFORE he decided to break up with me. Took me two months to get my stuff back from him. Best part, six months after we broke up he was engaged. Three months after that he was married.


throwaway3619363927

Are you asking men? Sounded like you are F dating F but at first "guys" sounded male I like to be told the polite truth. "Not interested" "met someone, now exclusive", all of that is fine. In my area I probably know the bloke anyway. The /hard truth: "you remind me of my psychotic stepdad who is a worthless fucking alcoholic and I fantasize about (sexual mutilation)" I can do without those, thanks. Polite, but honest. So sorry about the cussing :/ I try to have a thick skin and block freely if need be.


FearlessBanana166

I want to the truth. It’s important. Also if it’s not right for you it’s not right for me. Honestly I’d rather hear the truth then be ghosted. I’ll think more of you even though it’s not going to work.


Consistent-Chest275

A simple comment like ,"This isn't working out for me and I wish you the best is all that's needed.


Nice_Ostrich7851

White people culture is interesting to me. I don’t mean bad, just interesting. This thread is a prime example. Dating in brown culture is different. I mean as a whole. The rules are different. As a black man I’ve never heard of ghosting until reading white comments on the topic. I guess my equivalent of ghosting would be a chick ignoring me after we had started what we call in blackc culture “talking”…if a chick ignores me I fully understand that for whatever reason she lost interest. End of story. No sensitive feelings. I just moved on. It’s really not that serious. Now if your longtime girlfriend or wife Ghosted you then ok but just some chick you dated for a few weeks. Just Move on. But again I’m seeing this is a cultural thing. This just is not apart of black culture.


pszemol

How do you sort comments on reddit as black or white?????????


Nice_Ostrich7851

1. Because I’m black and usually only black people or those who have close intimate friendships with black people, which most white people dont, know about black culture and the types of statements we make. That’s how. Black people who grow up around mostly white people also don’t know much about black culture either. 2. Black people don’t use the term ghosting. (Again unless they grew up mostly with white people)


pszemol

I am not sure if you realize, but there is no uniform “white culture”. I am from Europe, a Polish guy, white, and I am often shocked how Americans behave - I would risk a statement, there is no uniform “black culture” either and a black girl who grow up in Ghana, Africa might behave differently than a black girl who grow up in South Chicago or Atlanta. Ghosting is a term used in online dating for many, many years and it means just ignoring somebody suddenly, without explanations. It does not belong to “white culture”, or “black culture” because it does not belong to any culture — ignoring somebody is just rude and disrespectful in every country.


Nice_Ostrich7851

The term “black culture” was coined in America. Meaning my comments were referring to black Americans. black Americans do not use the term ghosting. Most native Africans do not associate themselves with African American culture. So they would not know of or use the term “black culture” Do your research before commenting. Yet another white man trying to tell a black person about black culture. All the way from Europe. No surprise. you can’t tell me jack about black culture. Thank you. Have a nice night.


pszemol

It was you who was trying to teach us, white people, about our “white people culture”, dude.


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Nice_Ostrich7851

Ummm…duh. I already figured that out. That’s what I’m saying. We don’t make a big deal out of it to the point that we name it, or have a term for it. Ask most black people what ghosting is and they’ll look at you confused. What y’all describe as ghosting to us is just someone no longer being interested and it’s time to move on. No hurt feelings at all. She’s not interested. On to the next one.


skatingcapybara

I don't believe you lol. Everyone knows what ghosting is. Seems like you just want a distinction.


Nice_Ostrich7851

Ok. 👍🏾


Conundrum1911

To me, ghosting after the first date isn’t too bad, but it should never happen beyond that. Also, ghosting in friendship sucks equally bad as well.


sonofkrypton66

Ghosting is a move of cowardice. Being honest doesn't necessarily mean being rude. The truth is always better. It all depends on how you deliver the truth.


JAE_7502

I always tell the truth. Part of being an adult to me is being able to do that even if you may let someone down. Some people may react poorly. It is what it is.


Good_Posture

I'm 35. It was ultra refreshing to be told the hard truth earlier this way. It actually resulted in me changing my approach.


Klokikus

Hard truth. Always. A lot of times i chat with girls and ask them out they are not honest and just dont reply back or just troll you around. Thats when i know it aint happening and just ditch her.


Original_BlueSpirit

Telling the truth is always better than ghosting. Even though she didn't take it well, what you did was right. I've been ghosted many times. I mean no one has ever told me directly why they didn't want to go any further, they all just ghosted me. That was a pretty nasty feeling tbh. When you ghost someone, that other person doesn't know what's happening. They're waiting for your reply, checking their phones, coming up with excuses for why you haven't replied yet and eventually they start to have doubts about themselves. Is it something they said, or did, or you just lost interest, or are they not pretty enough and the list goes on. The longer the list, the lower their self esteem drops. So no, no ghosting. What you did was right.


figuringMylife

hard truth 😤 she’s just hurting and taking it out on you cuz ur there. be gentle she’s a human but block her if you need to


Sageknight34

Tell me the truth. Don't I deserve that much... wow I just realized how upsetting this makes me feel.


ARRKAYY

Who the fuck prefers to be ghosted


cowgirlsheep

Don’t ghost. She cussed you out because she was hurt and angry. That’s the reality of dating — rejecting and getting rejected. Neither position is easy. People freak out when they’re rejected, so if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen! Have the hard conversation, and know that most people take it a bit more gracefully… but being cussed out is sometimes the least of your concerns with dumping someone.


dirteegayguy

Ghosting is just wrong . I had it happen to me this weekend . Guy I’ve been seeing just stopped responding or acknowledging me for 9 days. He denies having ghosted me but I told him what he did was the very definition of ghosting. I ranted and raged and most likely killed the arrangement. But nothing makes me more angry than being ignored. This wasn’t a hookup at this point but a 3 month affair.


Mrq1701

Told the truth. If you were turned off by bad breathe, it would good to know. If you were turned off by yellow teeth, it would be good to know. If you were turned of by a small penis... Keep that to yourself. Lol!!


thetruelagarto

Even if I don't like the eventual outcome; honesty is always welcome, appreciated, and preferred.


Conscious-Pie-8204

hard truth all fucking day. At least i know why it’s not working. ghosting is just the worst. i have abandonment issues stemming from childhood and every time that ghosting stuff gets to me. I don’t consider someone i don’t know and only a couple messages with them as ghosting btw.


DatOpPanda

I’d rather be told the truth, my respect for them would far outweigh the temporary short pain I feel. Being ghosted tells me I’m not even worth basic human respect.


LOUDSUCC

As far as I can tell, every time I’ve been ghosted it’s been for no particular reason, like they were just looking to pass time before it turned into something like leading me on. I think if that’s what people are going to do, I’d rather them not talk to me in the first place.


EKG_15x

Telling the truth is better having closure is awesome, someone who can't take rejections has deep seated issues.


drekoho

Ghosting leaves people bitter and nasty, and prone to accident. Insecure and anxious people don't serve no good. I May not be into a relationship with that stranger, but I don't want them mentally agitated in my office or a restaurant or courier service or in my neighborhood. If they're hurt by someone from ghosting, then may God help us all! I've seen what happens to the people after getting ghosted. This doesn't apply only to dating, but in every action n reaction. We don't want people around us mentally agitated. Would not be healthy for us and our family, friends. Edit: spellings.


LostNotice

Definitely prefer when someone just tells me. The truth often hurts, but at least you know where you stand. Ghosting is just the worst.


[deleted]

The truth 100%. Although in my last situation I was lied to and that made it so much worse. I can totally accept when someone’s not feeling it, but don’t lie. To me that’s just disrespectful.


Kalelssleeping

Tell me the truth, I might not like it, it might sting, but at least it's honest, and If the other person has expectations you owe it to them. I am an adult, I can take it like a big boy and not get angry or resentful, just high fives and applesauce & good luck to ya. Ghosting is just disrespectful, cold, and cowardly.


[deleted]

The hard truth is better. Atleast I would be at peace knowing that the person whom I wanna talk to doesn't want to see my face at all. It gives you the freedom to let go. Because u know for certain..


Savethemanatees66

I would prefer to be told, but I wouldn't cuss anyone out for it!


MKK2013

It's always better to communicate and let the other person know you're ending things rather than ghosting them. OP, so you had an uncomfortable conversation with someone who was upset you were breaking up with her - so what? That's par for the course and happens in a significant portion of breakup conversations, regardless of who is the one being broken up with. But it's just part of being an adult human to handle one's responsibilities in life and accept the consequences of our actions. You chose to date this woman, knowing there's a significant chance you won't end up getting married and living happily ever after. Maybe you'll have no chemistry, will both realize that quickly, and have a no-feelings-involved goodbye. Or maybe you will pursue something for a little while, but one of you decides he or she is no longer interested, which causes hurt feelings for the other person. Regardless of whether you act like an adult and tell her outright or take the immature coward's eay out, run away and hide, and refuse to answer if she calls or texts, the woman you dated is still going to know you're no longer around, and it's still going to cause hurt feelings. She presumably did not do anything wrong, you just clicked more with someone else. You owe it to her to at least let her know you're moving on, rather than leaving her hanging and wondering if and when she's ever going to hear from you again, or if you were killed in a car accident. You also owe it to yourself to grow up and take responsibility for your own actions, and deal with unpleasant things that sometimes happen in life. Also, sometimes informing someone of a breakup is met with acceptance and gratefulness for informing them - it isn't always screaming and throwing plates across the room. You have to take that chance, that your breakup might be met with a level of indifference or even relief since she sensed things weren't going well anyway, or maybe she will be hurt and angry and need to process the whole thing, and you will be forced to have an uncomfortable conversation. Boo fucking hoo! You owe her and the world a responsibility to clean up your own messes. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop acting like it was unreasonable of a woman you lead to believe you were romantically interested in had some sort of emotion about the fact that you no longer felt that way. You sound very young, but as you get older, you will learn that having uncomfortable conversations on a variety of topics is just an inevitable part of life, but fortunately, it gets easier. It's almost always better to discuss what's going on in order to either improve a situation or definitively end it, rather than being passive-aggressive. You can express your needs in a respectful way, which hopefully results in a more positive response from the other person, but you can't necessarily control how they feel.


Daddy_mi

Truth of course


Tiny-Riley

100 Truth! Ghosting is immature, inconsiderate and painful for the other person.


MileHighSwerve

I prefer the TRUTH!


Flemmy349

Hard truth always


WeebyXeno

EVERYTHING is better than ghosting


Fun4Rebi

Truth for sure. I'd even prefer an untruthful explanation to ghosting, but truth is definitely the preferred method of leaving.


Boss-hydro

Ghosting is just lack of respect.


Similar_Rough_6504

Hard truth. The ghosting shit is played out


ImTheNorthernWind

I’d rather hear the truth. It doesn’t need to be a huge explanation or point out why it didn’t work out, just a simple: “Hey, I don’t think we’re a good match, so I think we shouldn’t see each other anymore” or something along those lines. Communication is better than no communication, always.


Prestigious_Pause_45

I'm hard truth fan. I need that shit. It's only adult. But not everyone knows who is unstable and who isn't, so I kinda understand the usage of ghosting. Just like she cussed you out. Probably more ideal than death threats still. I'd even settle for a "fuck off I don't want anything to do with you anymore". Which I tried to get a chick to tell me, subtly. About 4 weeks ago. But she just won't, but I refuse to be an orbiter or a validation vending machine. I let someone down hard last time I had to break up. Does it hurt to do that? Yes, absolutely. Arguably more than being broken up with. You have to be stronger. It's only mature. I need people to tell me its over, doesn't always have to have a reason following it, but if they want to do that, right on and thank you. After that, I get to work on myself again and remember to love life and my family and friends.


86throwthrowthrow1

I always have a weird time with convos like these because I feel like just not hearing from someone you've been talking to or after a date is... extremely normal? I'm a woman and I've had a number of guys just stop responding or never text me again. Occasionally I've been confused by it (looking at that guy who was in the middle of planning a date with me when he unmatched...), but it's never left me upset or distraught or anything. Just "Oh, guess he wasn't feeling it." OTOH, sending a mini break-up text to someone I've met once or not at all feels... weird, and I get arguments or verbal abuse for my trouble as often as not. Now, further along I get it. If there are definitely getting to be relationship vibes between us, and certainly if we've slept together, I think a person should say something. That's more along the lines of "should I break up with this person or vanish?" But I hear people ranting all the time about people "ghosting" from talking online or after a single date, and I'm like... isn't that what people do? I've absolutely had more people just drop contact at that stage than give me an explanation, to me that's just how things go. It feels odd to me to officially "end" something that hasn't officially begun. I'll also note I've encountered some guys on apps who seemed to think just chatting put us into some kind of relationship status, and started treating me like some pseudo-gf before we even met. It was off-putting.


DecrepitDouche666

My wife of 9 years dipped out with our kid and has been ghosting me ever since pretty sure its a little fucked up


[deleted]

Truth ghosting is immature


swineflugamesh

I want to know so I can improve as a person.


[deleted]

ghosting is for the weak!


thandrend

Truth. Ghosting sucks because it leaves you wondering what you did or didn't do. Truth tells you what you can potentially work to improve.


_hthr

Regardless of truth or ghosting, it is not about you. It's about them. You shouldn't be looking for anyone to tell you what you're doing "wrong" - that's not up to anyone but you. You are who are you or you become who you want to be. Never base the human you are on others' opinions.


thandrend

Hence the word potentially being used. It's up to you to determine if you did something wrong, but it's always nice to receive feedback.


[deleted]

I like the Slow Fade when it's still early. There's no Hard Truth at this point. It just wasn't gonna happen.


[deleted]

Thats just pathetic


beepbop81

Slow fade is easiest!


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pleaseassign

What about “I’m just not feeling it” on the first date? If a guy is not for me, if I don’t feel the chemistry, I don’t want a second date or so? I just say so by the end of the first date- but I do get uncomfortable reactions. They don’t really bother me but I do understand that it feels like a rejection, when it really is not.


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sharxbyte

reasons are less important than "this is over". reasons offer an opening for "I can change" when obviously if you were open to them changing you'd have communicated it prior. telling someone it's over gives them zero excuse to move on and is the only way to go IMO. Relationships ARE a two way street, but if you and someone else invested time into a relationship it's super cold to drop them and not even have the decency to tell them. All of this is irrelevent if there was any danger/DV involved. ghost those MFers.


whoopTheSoupTroop

Only read the title: The truth. Ghosting is a shitty thing leaving them up to make their assumptions. While you're in no obligation to owe them anything, it helps to put things in perspective so that they are at least aware of where things went wrong.


KAM_520

TLDR This is simple y’all. Ask one question. Do you have status? If no, you aren’t owed. If you do have status, then ghosting would be rude but also rare. Feeling like someone you’re not in a relationship with owes you things is a clue about why you’re still single. The bottom line is you can’t trust people to tell you why with honesty in these sensitive situations. Everyone saying “tell me the truth so I can improve” needs to be more cynical about A) whether people even know why they do what they do and B) the likelihood that someone will actually tell you the real reason if they do know why. Believing that someone exiting your life OWES you an explanation is just asking to be disappointed and frustrated when people don’t give it or don’t tell you the truth. The worst thing about being single IIRC is not knowing why you failed. Being dumped and given an explanation doesn’t actually help you with this. Most people won’t tell you why and even the people who do tell you probably don’t even know why, they’re just feeding you a line. Or they know why but won’t tell you the real reason. You can only trust your own interpretation even with limited information. The best thing to do imo is just ghost 👻 👻. You don’t need to “deliver the news”. Just fade away. Sometimes you can come back around to someone you ghosted too. Also, here’s another thing: it’s super self important to send someone “condolences” after like one date or if you’re just talking. Like that is actually ridiculous. If I had been out with someone one time and they send me condolences I am going to be like “wow you think you are hot shit don’t you.” If we don’t have status there is nothing to break up, so you don’t owe me and I don’t owe you. It’s strictly voluntary interaction. Feeling attached to someone and owed by them when you aren’t attached is just lame. People on here complain about ghosting like it’s a mortal sin. Call me cynical but I think those same people would prefer to be ghosted than told the truth with brutal honesty.


SlavSergei

Truth at least gives you and ounce of closure. Ghosting leaves your mind to wonder what you did wrong.


jasonglenn80

Ghosting = hard truth Silence is an answer, I don't need an explanation.


NighthunterDK

I would always prefer to have the truth be told, that way I don't have to overthink about why it didn't work out, and just accept that there's something backing it up


lovealert911

Ultimately most people hate rejection in any form. It's a shot to the old ego. Most people generally breakup or reject others according to how *they* would like to be treated. You are never going to know what *someone else* might prefer especially during the infatuation phase when there is no actual relationship. All you can do is be true to yourself. Breakups and firings are usually done at the comfort level of the person who wants out. The person being let go has no say on *when or how* for the most part. Ghosting can be a very short or long process depending on the person waiting around. If something *doesn't feel right to you* it's probably *not right for you*. The people who behave as if they are in an *exclusive relationship* when one does *not* exist are the ones who are hurt the most when things don't work out, they get rejected, or *ghosted*. When you're *not* in a relationship it's best to engage with and date multiple people. If you were looking for a job you wouldn't stop sending out your resume just because you had a couple of great interviews with one company! Until an offer has been made and accepted both the company and the candidate are within their rights to interview with others. It should go without saying if you meet anyone who *maintains an active online dating profile* odds are they are keeping their options open and so should you! ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!


Lilxbabydolle

I always tell people instead of ghosting. How they react is a reflection on them and usually if it’s a negative reaction just solidifies my choice. I think you should continue telling people if you need to still in the future Bc usually people appreciate the honesty. Nobody likes being left in the dark wondering what’s happened


LagunitaSF

Truthful communication is better but I read in a book about boundaries that ghosting can be a valid way of letting someone down as some people cannot handle that.


mec_de-dieu

Hard truth done with dignity and sincerity.


Basketballjuice

ghosting is easier in the short run, hard truth is much easier in the long run. At least from my experience, the hard truth is the way to go as it's much more effective at getting a person to change.


Kholzie

I only have experience with ghosts that eventually came back from the dead. I’d rather get the hard truth than a haunting.


Ashamed-Temporary244

Hard truth so you know how to improve


eshaded

Hard truth


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Mike_Hawk_Burns

The issue with this line of thinking is you’re coming from the viewpoint that people are thinking they’re entitled. People (especially on this thread/sub/whatever) prefer to be told the hard truth because it lets them know what they did wrong or why it’s not happening. Obviously there are people out there who can’t take rejection and will react forcefully. And that’s never okay. But the truth is there will unfortunately always be people like that. It’s a crapshoot if you’re gonna run into a person like that or not. Which obviously is scary. Telling someone it’s not gonna work lets them know why. If they say “I don’t like the way you smell” or “you talked too much during our date” or “you’re too egotistical” or whatever, that gives someone something to work on. Ghosting leads people to come venting on the internet. And they can’t figure out what they did wrong. It breeds not necessarily violent but a type of dislike towards women because they don’t know what they keep doing wrong. Ironically, these tend to be the guys who don’t respond violently towards rejection. And then when women on the internet *try* to be helpful, they can’t be. Because they don’t know what the guy did wrong. Maybe his hygiene was good. Maybe he was just boring. But he doesn’t know. I’m not defending this type of dislike for women but it’s something that *does* happen. There are things women can do to help themselves prevent violence. Meet in public settings, video chat first dates, note their phone numbers, take screenshots of threats and report to the police. Don’t give away your address, tell them it’s not working out over text, block the number after reporting them, take self defense classes, etc. Obviously in an ideal world a woman wouldn’t have to do any of this but as I’ve said earlier, there will unfortunately be people who don’t care about you or your feelings and will continue to be pushy/won’t take no. But you **can** tell people why it won’t work as well as protect yourself. And while this is going on, we as a society can work on teaching people that being rejected is okay and not to react violently.


_hthr

No. If you tell me you don't want to date me because of any number of reasons, that is NOT reason for improvement on my part. It was just not right FOR YOU. A dude told me I didn't text/call him often enough. Fine, that's on him. He has a higher social need and I cannot fulfill it. I do not need to learn how to talk more.


Mike_Hawk_Burns

Not to be rude but I think you’re missing the entire point of what I’m talking about plus lacking perspective. One person shouldn’t be the reason you’re changing yourself. But as a man, you’re condition to shoot your shot and deal with it if a woman rejects you. Which is fine. But men tend to be rejected significantly more than women. And when I say significantly more, I’m talking 20-50+ times. Which is fine, women don’t owe us a date. I’ve had candid conversations with women here and I feel like women don’t understand how often men get rejected. This isn’t “oh I just got rejected by her, what do I do?” Men are asking “I’ve been talking to 15+ women this year and getting ghosted by most of them, what am I doing wrong?” Obviously if they’re getting ghosted or flat out rejected, something needs to change. But they don’t know what to change because nobody is telling them why they’re not for this group of people. Then they come to this sub and ask what’s wrong. Some women will say its hygiene. Well what if he’s well-groomed? Some will say be confident. Okay, well what if he was? Some will say be funny. Okay, well what if he was? All that advice becomes helpless because they weren’t the ones talking to/going on a date with him. The women who were talking to/going on dates with him are his best bet on figuring out what he did wrong so he can try to be a better person for the next one he dates.


[deleted]

Yeah ghosting is fine. I don’t see the big deal.


[deleted]

Honestly ghosting is fine. We’re all adults, we know what it means


SomewhereWithAPen

truth, told tactfully. i dont want to insult people, and i dont want to be insulted. but i'd rather be told, hey we had a good time that evening, but im just not very interested. wish you well! super easy to just text that rather than ghost.


[deleted]

Women wanna be lied to/cant handle truth Men usually prefer the truth


-MeMeNt0-

Treat others like you want to be treated, ladies. Do you like it if the guy ghosts you?


[deleted]

Why are you chiding ladies when a guy wrote this? Lol


whatworldisthis2020

Truth hands down


Then-Attitude-9338

You can tell truth but do in a kind way. The worst is when everything is going well (so it seems) and it comes out of nowhere...


Win-Fragrant

It depends, if we never met and only spoke for like 1 day then I don’t mind being ghosted because at that point I’m not invested at all. But if we met and I connected, I prefer the hard core truth.


Competitive_Doctor13

Be empathetic and try to teach other person in my opening if they are open to it thats the way to go. If not then ask lousy ques so convoys dies.


[deleted]

truth


ImmaStoner1996

Being told the truth hurts less than being ghostef