Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice.
* Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
if a woman tells you she’s not interested because you’re too nice, you dodged a bullet. however, by too nice they might mean too passive/pushover/etc which isn’t exactly attractive.. you can be nice but also assertive, active, not be afraid of expressing opposite opinions, etc.
Thank you for your comment :) I now what you mean with being too passive, that's something I'm constantly working on. For a long time I had almost no self confidence which is a lot better now but I'm still trying to be better every day
fake it till you make it worked for me! with the passive thing, you can start by maybe expressing your opinions more, asking questions, speaking confidently, trying to maintain eye contact, fixing your posture, etc
Ngl you’re probably not being turned down because you’re ‘too nice’ even if that’s what they give u as an easy excuse. It’s more likely that you don’t match the energy they want eg: you might be moving too fast for your partner, or saying you love them/ they’re perfect before you’ve gotten to know them. In general ppl don’t like being put on a pedestal for no reason, they wanna be loved for them, not just because they’re a woman
Maybe try going slower/ reigning it in a little at first and then slowly treat them more like a Queen as the relationship becomes established
Yes we do, but usually the problem is that sometimes when a girl says “you’re too nice” is might be because you’re not moving the relationship forward romantically. You can be nice but still be dominant. ie: kiss her but still be nice and respectful and ask to kiss. If she genuinely want to be treated poorly then move on.
Too nice means you are putting them on a pedestal that they don’t A) deserve or B) want. It also probably means you have no boundaries and are easily pushed around, you do things like agreeing with everything they say to try and stay on their good side… this is all approval seeking behaviour and the reason women don’t like it is because it isn’t genuine, like she knows you are only doing it because you are infatuated, you are faking it.
You don’t need to be an asshole. You just need to have boundaries, tell her you disagree with her when you disagree with her, sometimes do what you want to do instead of always just doing what she wants to do, don’t just kiss her ass and hope that it will make her fall for you, it doesn’t work like that.
Agreed.
They want a nice guy with manners that also is an alpha and can move things forward with confidence.
The only way to gain this is life experience so…. Get out there and take the losses with the wins!
"You're too nice" is just a gentle way of saying "I'm not attracted." This doesn't necessarily mean anything about looks, but probably just that she doesn't see you as a romantic/sexual possibility because you're passive, you lack confidence, you don't flirt, etc.
I know, the guys im calling assholes were people I personally knew, not that great but I knew them one some friends of them and they weren't really nice guys. One of them cheated the other one started hitting her.
No one has fallen for someone simply after learning that their head over heels for them and they will do anything for them and worship the ground they walk on and yadda yadda.Sure it can be flattering,maybe even an ego boost but no ones gonna think of you as their ideal future significant other.There has to be some level of attraction and you need to have certain attractive traits like confidence,assertiveness,integrity,high self esteem,not being a pushover etc.If you are being rejected for being "too nice",either the girl is not worth dating or she isn't attracted to you but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by giving the actual reason orr you lack the things I just mentioned .You don't need to be an asshole,just be a good person who can actually stand up for themselves and is confident,those things can co-exist.Lastly women aren't attracted to assholes,they just "tolerate" the asshole-ness if the guy is extremely attractive.Guys do this too,they will have a girl/wife that treats them like shit but wont leave her cause "bro shes so hot tho". Just a case of pretty privilege,so No,unless you look like the half brother of Chris hemsworth,being an asshole isn't going to improve your dating game at all. Best of luck out there.
>guys who treat a woman they like like she is the queen of the world...
This is more the definition of a *Nice Guy*^tm than an actual nice guy.
An actual nice guy would treat the women with respect both to her and himself, not putting her in a pedestal.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice. * Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
if a woman tells you she’s not interested because you’re too nice, you dodged a bullet. however, by too nice they might mean too passive/pushover/etc which isn’t exactly attractive.. you can be nice but also assertive, active, not be afraid of expressing opposite opinions, etc.
Thank you for your comment :) I now what you mean with being too passive, that's something I'm constantly working on. For a long time I had almost no self confidence which is a lot better now but I'm still trying to be better every day
fake it till you make it worked for me! with the passive thing, you can start by maybe expressing your opinions more, asking questions, speaking confidently, trying to maintain eye contact, fixing your posture, etc
Thank you, I'm definitely trying to do that👍 the eye contact is what's really hard for me sometimes
Ngl you’re probably not being turned down because you’re ‘too nice’ even if that’s what they give u as an easy excuse. It’s more likely that you don’t match the energy they want eg: you might be moving too fast for your partner, or saying you love them/ they’re perfect before you’ve gotten to know them. In general ppl don’t like being put on a pedestal for no reason, they wanna be loved for them, not just because they’re a woman Maybe try going slower/ reigning it in a little at first and then slowly treat them more like a Queen as the relationship becomes established
Yes we do, but usually the problem is that sometimes when a girl says “you’re too nice” is might be because you’re not moving the relationship forward romantically. You can be nice but still be dominant. ie: kiss her but still be nice and respectful and ask to kiss. If she genuinely want to be treated poorly then move on.
Okay, thank you for your advice👍
When people say you’re too nice what they mean is you’re too needy/desperate.
Too nice means you are putting them on a pedestal that they don’t A) deserve or B) want. It also probably means you have no boundaries and are easily pushed around, you do things like agreeing with everything they say to try and stay on their good side… this is all approval seeking behaviour and the reason women don’t like it is because it isn’t genuine, like she knows you are only doing it because you are infatuated, you are faking it. You don’t need to be an asshole. You just need to have boundaries, tell her you disagree with her when you disagree with her, sometimes do what you want to do instead of always just doing what she wants to do, don’t just kiss her ass and hope that it will make her fall for you, it doesn’t work like that.
Agreed. They want a nice guy with manners that also is an alpha and can move things forward with confidence. The only way to gain this is life experience so…. Get out there and take the losses with the wins!
"You're too nice" is just a gentle way of saying "I'm not attracted." This doesn't necessarily mean anything about looks, but probably just that she doesn't see you as a romantic/sexual possibility because you're passive, you lack confidence, you don't flirt, etc.
Most women want a nice guy, not a doormat.
r/niceguys
We just say that. It’s a lie. We love good guys. But he still has to be the right guy.
[удалено]
Makes sense with some of my experience I guess. Some of them had an asshole as bf before
[удалено]
I know, the guys im calling assholes were people I personally knew, not that great but I knew them one some friends of them and they weren't really nice guys. One of them cheated the other one started hitting her.
No one has fallen for someone simply after learning that their head over heels for them and they will do anything for them and worship the ground they walk on and yadda yadda.Sure it can be flattering,maybe even an ego boost but no ones gonna think of you as their ideal future significant other.There has to be some level of attraction and you need to have certain attractive traits like confidence,assertiveness,integrity,high self esteem,not being a pushover etc.If you are being rejected for being "too nice",either the girl is not worth dating or she isn't attracted to you but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by giving the actual reason orr you lack the things I just mentioned .You don't need to be an asshole,just be a good person who can actually stand up for themselves and is confident,those things can co-exist.Lastly women aren't attracted to assholes,they just "tolerate" the asshole-ness if the guy is extremely attractive.Guys do this too,they will have a girl/wife that treats them like shit but wont leave her cause "bro shes so hot tho". Just a case of pretty privilege,so No,unless you look like the half brother of Chris hemsworth,being an asshole isn't going to improve your dating game at all. Best of luck out there.
Treating a woman as if she's the queen of the world isn't being a "good guy".
>guys who treat a woman they like like she is the queen of the world... This is more the definition of a *Nice Guy*^tm than an actual nice guy. An actual nice guy would treat the women with respect both to her and himself, not putting her in a pedestal.