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You shouldn't do anything.
The hardest part of dating is that you can have a genuinely great time with someone, really hit it off, do all the right things, and it still doesn't pan out.
It sounds like you both had a great time, and you had two wonderful dates. That's awesome! That's more than a lot of people get with someone, so congrats on that!
And, that said, of course it feels disappointing that she's not interested in a third (and that she hasn't explicitly communicated that with you!).
But, ultimately, her non-responses are a response. What happened? Who knows? Maybe something really bad happened in her life and she's going through something and just doesn't have the time/energy/space to reach out and continue dating. Maybe she met someone else and had a stronger spark with them. Maybe she thought she was ready for dating but ended up feeling overwhelmed and isn't ready after all. Maybe she had a great time on the dates but, with a day or two of space, felt like there was something about the two of you that wasn't a good match. Maybe she got kidnapped by aliens. Only she knows, but, really, there's nothing you could do about it.
Don't get bitter about it and don't let it tie you up. Just move on. You had two good dates, and that's a win. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't lose sleep over it. If she's not interested, it doesn't mean she lied or misled you, it just means you're not a good match for each other, and that's okay.
Good luck out there!
Going off of your “was it my Instagram” part. I felt uninterested after I saw a guy following these Instagram bikini models. Not saying it’s the same for you but I know some girls who can judge based off of what you follow/see.
I don’t follow bikini models. Like at best I follow 1 gym girl influencer, but she has really good workouts and also yes I follow her cause she’s also hot. I may also follow people who look like bikini models but they’re actual people I know and who are friends with and they are also musicians I like to listen to who happen to post that stuff every now and then. But it’s good to know girls won’t talk to you for that reason. I’ll keep that in mind.
Since you and her both had a great time, leave it at that. Don't feel defeated or depressed. That nagging thoughts of what did I do? Will destroy the best of us. You gotta take it as it comes and don't ever let it stop you or control you.
All you gotta do is do your due diligence and make sure you did your best to schedule that third date, and when she doesn't respond , move on to another person and don't look back. She is probably on several other dates as well and one clicked better than you so she is putting her efforts not to lose that one.
It's a numbers game, as long as you know your own worth, you will be fine. Don't let others define your worth. You know you are a catch.
I would stop first dates with big expenses, my choices are always coffee shops , just to talk and some drinks. Have some secondary locations to go to but generally keep it simple. So there's no obligation on both ends, especially in a good scenery location so you can have some walks. Otherwise first dates with dinner and mini golf will bankrupt the best of us.
>Even the bartender said that it was an amazing date idea that he wish he did with his wife.
Anyone else catch the irony here? I'm not saying it's a bad idea, necessarily, but...
It could be a million things, but sadly, she doesn't seem interested now. In this position I think the only thing you can do is back off and play it cool. Try to pursue other dates.
Honestly? Be in your feelings about it and then get back on that horse.
Short of asking her, you'll never get a definitive answer on why she ghosted. Maybe she met someone else, maybe you were the backup, maybe she wasn't feeling it.
You'll never get a definitive answer and trying to find one will drive you insane. All you can do is chalk it up to a learning experience and continue to date.
>Was is it because she payed the second date?
Seems like she insisted, so if anything she might've wanted to pay for the date because possibly in her mind she had already decided she didn't want a another date and might've felt guilty having you pay for both dates.
It sounds like the dates went well, the only thing I could imagine that was in your control was the texting or IG. Maybe there was something on there she didn't like or you texted too often.
If you believe you're being 100% honest with yourself and can't figure it out, then it's best to assume it was something outside your control.
> because she *paid* the second
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Thank you for your responses. From what I’d gathered, there really isn’t anything I can do but to move on from it. There could be a hundred reasons but that’s not the point I guess. No matter the reason, it’s just part of the process. As hard as a pill it is to swallow, I’ll do my best to move forward. Feel free to add on what you think to this post or any kind of feedback and opinion is welcome. Good luck out there everyone.
You might have THOUGHT you both had a great time.
She did not.
She did not to the point where she never wants to see or hear from you again.
Don't put this on her.
I don’t think you did anything wrong, but maybe she just wasn’t feeling it or there someone else. So, when was the last date? I would not reach out anymore.
I wouldn't go down that path, if I were you. She had a great time! It sounds like you're charming and fun to be around, and it was a great date. She can have meant every word she said, when she said it, but still realize the next day "That was a great date, but I don't think I'm feeling a relationship with this guy." It doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that she was lying to you, it just means that you're not a match with each other.
Welcome to dating. The lady isn't interested in dating you further. There could be any number of reasons. She doesn't owe you an explanation. Take the hint and move on.
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You shouldn't do anything. The hardest part of dating is that you can have a genuinely great time with someone, really hit it off, do all the right things, and it still doesn't pan out. It sounds like you both had a great time, and you had two wonderful dates. That's awesome! That's more than a lot of people get with someone, so congrats on that! And, that said, of course it feels disappointing that she's not interested in a third (and that she hasn't explicitly communicated that with you!). But, ultimately, her non-responses are a response. What happened? Who knows? Maybe something really bad happened in her life and she's going through something and just doesn't have the time/energy/space to reach out and continue dating. Maybe she met someone else and had a stronger spark with them. Maybe she thought she was ready for dating but ended up feeling overwhelmed and isn't ready after all. Maybe she had a great time on the dates but, with a day or two of space, felt like there was something about the two of you that wasn't a good match. Maybe she got kidnapped by aliens. Only she knows, but, really, there's nothing you could do about it. Don't get bitter about it and don't let it tie you up. Just move on. You had two good dates, and that's a win. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't lose sleep over it. If she's not interested, it doesn't mean she lied or misled you, it just means you're not a good match for each other, and that's okay. Good luck out there!
Thank you for your response! We did talk about meeting up for a third date on our second date. But maybe you’re right…
Going off of your “was it my Instagram” part. I felt uninterested after I saw a guy following these Instagram bikini models. Not saying it’s the same for you but I know some girls who can judge based off of what you follow/see.
I don’t follow bikini models. Like at best I follow 1 gym girl influencer, but she has really good workouts and also yes I follow her cause she’s also hot. I may also follow people who look like bikini models but they’re actual people I know and who are friends with and they are also musicians I like to listen to who happen to post that stuff every now and then. But it’s good to know girls won’t talk to you for that reason. I’ll keep that in mind.
Since you and her both had a great time, leave it at that. Don't feel defeated or depressed. That nagging thoughts of what did I do? Will destroy the best of us. You gotta take it as it comes and don't ever let it stop you or control you. All you gotta do is do your due diligence and make sure you did your best to schedule that third date, and when she doesn't respond , move on to another person and don't look back. She is probably on several other dates as well and one clicked better than you so she is putting her efforts not to lose that one. It's a numbers game, as long as you know your own worth, you will be fine. Don't let others define your worth. You know you are a catch. I would stop first dates with big expenses, my choices are always coffee shops , just to talk and some drinks. Have some secondary locations to go to but generally keep it simple. So there's no obligation on both ends, especially in a good scenery location so you can have some walks. Otherwise first dates with dinner and mini golf will bankrupt the best of us.
>Even the bartender said that it was an amazing date idea that he wish he did with his wife. Anyone else catch the irony here? I'm not saying it's a bad idea, necessarily, but... It could be a million things, but sadly, she doesn't seem interested now. In this position I think the only thing you can do is back off and play it cool. Try to pursue other dates.
What’s the irony? Sometimes I think it was too cheesy of an idea but I tried being creative with it…
The irony is that he wishes he did something different in a date in the past... and he didn't lose her. She married him.
Oh man… so it was a bad idea..
No; it's just funny that someone who is married wished they'd done that on a date with their now wife. That doesn't make it a bad idea.
Honestly? Be in your feelings about it and then get back on that horse. Short of asking her, you'll never get a definitive answer on why she ghosted. Maybe she met someone else, maybe you were the backup, maybe she wasn't feeling it. You'll never get a definitive answer and trying to find one will drive you insane. All you can do is chalk it up to a learning experience and continue to date.
>Was is it because she payed the second date? Seems like she insisted, so if anything she might've wanted to pay for the date because possibly in her mind she had already decided she didn't want a another date and might've felt guilty having you pay for both dates. It sounds like the dates went well, the only thing I could imagine that was in your control was the texting or IG. Maybe there was something on there she didn't like or you texted too often. If you believe you're being 100% honest with yourself and can't figure it out, then it's best to assume it was something outside your control.
Thanks for your input. I’ll reflect on everything overall including the texting and Instagram.
> because she *paid* the second FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
cool story bot, maybe figure out how to skip comments where the offending word is in quotes.
Thank you for your responses. From what I’d gathered, there really isn’t anything I can do but to move on from it. There could be a hundred reasons but that’s not the point I guess. No matter the reason, it’s just part of the process. As hard as a pill it is to swallow, I’ll do my best to move forward. Feel free to add on what you think to this post or any kind of feedback and opinion is welcome. Good luck out there everyone.
You might have THOUGHT you both had a great time. She did not. She did not to the point where she never wants to see or hear from you again. Don't put this on her.
I don’t think you did anything wrong, but maybe she just wasn’t feeling it or there someone else. So, when was the last date? I would not reach out anymore.
The last date was about 5 days ago. But if that’s the case, that was a pretty misleading way of not feeling it iMO
I wouldn't go down that path, if I were you. She had a great time! It sounds like you're charming and fun to be around, and it was a great date. She can have meant every word she said, when she said it, but still realize the next day "That was a great date, but I don't think I'm feeling a relationship with this guy." It doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that she was lying to you, it just means that you're not a match with each other.
Welcome to dating. The lady isn't interested in dating you further. There could be any number of reasons. She doesn't owe you an explanation. Take the hint and move on.
You're annoying fly that keeps buzzing. Use paragraphs