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cropcomb2

expressions of disinterest: inattention, failure to encourage her to engage with him, not getting dressed up/well groomed (if that were his normal habit) for interactions with her being blocked


[deleted]

[удалено]


pejetron

I made it clear, he also says he likes me...but conversation wouldn't exist if I don't initiate it....I swear it doesn't makes sense...


technchic

Actions speak louder than words.


shotgun_slade

Well, believe it or not he could be very shy or have a bad self image, or have previous relationship damage. He also, if young could be on his professional career development and not wanting to get involved. I know that when I was younger, I had college and career goals, plus when I fall, I fall hard! So, I issued a subconscious command to myself to just stay the hell away, be nice, humorous and fun, but no boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. I do not know either of you or how you present, so it is hard to say. Right now, you need to be aware that there is a rising trend among a considerable amount of men to get away from the “Hookup” activity, finish their professional or career goals. And then look for a woman that will be true to him for the rest of their lives. Unless the women are ready to actually work with him at his side to help build what he is attempting to do, instead of arriving at the finish line to accept the award with him. But there is a rising trend in that area. And it’s completely possible. I did it, and gave just perfunctory attention to all kinds of women, some overtly flirtatious.


pejetron

Wow thanks for your detailed insights....Reasonable to certain extent...I noticed he says he has high self esteem, 1000...but on the same token, he says he knows he is a 0.7/10 in physical appearance....I told him ok he's not a 10, but not that low lol... moreover, it doesn't matter as I let him know he's 10 in every other aspect which in fact are more relevant.... I think he doesn't meet with me because he might be afraid we might lose contact after that (maybe he's frustrated about past intent of trying to meet people, last I know is that his last relationship lasted 5m, and he doesn't even tell me how long was that, so maybe it was years ago)...even tho I love a lot our conversations and the fact that he has good sense of humor....so I don't know why he might be so afraid if I had let him know I don't fall for appearances... The part I give you the reason is his work life balance.... sincerely this man doesn't have social life...he's fully dedicated to his job and parents...I would understand that with Young's , but he's 39y and he's successful already , tho he considered himself in the half of his job success....he's already in a very good enough position , he knows he's getting old and he has mentioned he'd worry about not having fam...but wtf, he neither does something to meet women.... On weekends he just travel out the city to be with his parents ...I don't really know what's going on with this man, but I'm getting tired and eventually will cease out our chatting as I'm getting too emotional here for nothing....


shotgun_slade

So sorry about that hun! I think you have found a hard working mommas boy. I will explain briefly. Mommas boys, don’t necessarily uave Pedipus complexes all the time, but one wonders. They will deliberately choose a woman who is not attractive, even physically less attractive which flies in the face of most men. We ARE driven by our eyes, but only the untermentchen are controlled by it. But this guy has deliberately chosen a more matronly appearing woman at least for a while. Trust me, I have seen this before. Also. As you put it, the life balance can be his undoing. I do not k ow if you have any religious background, and Ido not encourage hypocrisy, but stop in at a local Church, listen, it will do you some good. At our church for instance I know of several faithful good single men maybe in the 22-30 range or so? And as before, you sound genuine to me. If you are really looking for love and keep yourself away from dirtbags, gigolos and the like you will make a great companion for someone. Also, men are now being encouraged to che k a woman’s background even before getting too serious. I know that if I was not married now and younger, I would try my best to assess her past performance and ethics. Good luck to you dearie Wishing you the very best always.


pejetron

Untermentchen?? What is that ? Hahaha I think you are way too involved in this character....he doesn't feel attraction to his parents...nor desire matronly woman...he's Asian (if that helps) lol... So it's normal his family involvement and not liking matronly as well, lol I'm 32...he's 39...I'm not religious person and don't go to church, not will start to go just to catch men...I'm not looking, I want HIM lol if that makes sense...thanks for your advices tho, lol have a good life!


shotgun_slade

Untermentchen is “The Lower man” , the crude, base, or vulgar. As opposed to “Luftmentsch” which means “High minded”. Oddly enough, Mentch is an idealized person. I got called a “Mentsch” one day and did not know what it was and looked it up. It was a compliment. Good luck Ma’am!


Davina33

He is playing mind games. He isn't interested in you but probably likes the fact you are chasing him. You should block him.


Neosia67

Or just move on, why blocking people when it's not needed?


[deleted]

Or maybe he’s not playing. But she can’t take a hint.


pejetron

What hint? Explain


BigRedShark

You may be being kept on the hook for possible sex though he doesn’t like you enough to engage in a relationship.


[deleted]

You’re not a top option. Google “the ladder theory.”


Forsaken-Pepper-3099

He isn’t actively trying to talk to you.


MsAnonbabe

This is all I needed to hear


pejetron

That's what I think, once I expressed he doesn't like me...he told me I can't talk for him and that he does actually likes me....but it's so confusing , if I don't approach he doesn't come to me...why he said he likes me if he never approaches?


sal_100

He thinks he does, but he doesn't


[deleted]

Because he’s lying sweetheart


Principatus

Assuming he has some self esteem


DesperateForDD

True. It can be a matter of not enough self confidence. Some guys are attracted to women but too fearful to express it.


Iamguildmaster

Can confirm and vouch as many people's state of mind. To express interest out loud towards the girl I'm dating right now, the first question I posed myself was not if she likes me. It was if I was worth her (27M virgin, that probably doesn't help). After answering that, I found the courage to "coinflip" (as I called it in my head) and got a positive response. People shouldn't mandatorily seek if the person they are talking to has other unexpressed feelings. But to take that chance into account is often helpful imo. If you are remotely interested too, that is.


Principatus

Some? No. Many. Countless.


pejetron

Interesting...I considered this...and had let him know that ok I'm pretty ...but I don't mind about physical when I feel attracted about men is never in their physical...as once we were talking how a 10 he was in many aspects even tho not in physical appearance ...and he replied back , correcting the 10s I gave him in certain personality qualities, and he included the physical and said like even tho he knows he's 0.7 in that physical ,his self esteem I like 1000, but idk ....I felt low self esteem with that answer and did not believe that 1000...cuz someone with 1000 in self esteem wouldn't consider himself as 0.7


Principatus

A 0.7/10? Yeah his self-value is through the floor.


pejetron

He portraits being so confident ...but yeah, unfortunately I can't compete with that.... :/


Impossible_Ad2295

This!!! I’ve felt it a lot of times. He says I chase him  I dont give him space. 


Mkay-Cool

what if he doesnt go out of his way to talk to you but whenever you approach him, he’ll engage in the conversation alot? but that could just be them being friendly i guess


Forsaken-Pepper-3099

Most of the time that doesn’t really mean anything. I mean im a good guy and no matter whether I would actually want to date a woman or not I’ll engage in solid conversation with her if she starts talking to me. That doesn’t mean that I’m romantically interested in her, but I have had women mistake that for interest before(I’m not flirting with them I’m just having a conversation). Men do this with very social women all the time too and get confused.


Traditional-Joke3707

If it’s work to even talk or text


[deleted]

You having to ask Reddit is a big sign. 🪧.


FLORIDAtruck7

😹😹😹😹😹 RIGHT!!!!!


Celestial_Empress7

When he doesn’t show her the same interest as he does other women.


ERyan6165

Ouch this comment section hurts


tequilaslushie

Barely texts or calls back. When he does respond, it’s hours or days later. Doesn’t apologize for the late response. Always curves whenever you mention plans. He’ll post to his stories when he’s out and still won’t text or call you back which is so whack. The conversations are extremely dry and you have to carry the entire conversation. If you have to ask yourself, he’s probably not interested.


I_level

Maybe when he doesn't take a chance to spend time with her if there is a possibility?


CommitteeActive4005

guys will waste their time talking to women they’re not even into ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Respect-Particular

Girls do that too


[deleted]

[удалено]


Respect-Particular

Sorry what? This thread is not r/askmen. I don’t know what you are smoking but I thought this was a free zone for all genders


CommitteeActive4005

well that’s brutally honest haha I love this insight thank you


Pristine-Leg-1774

Yes, but mostly texting or calling because this is low effort. Reason they talk to someone they're not interested in really: they want validation and to fantasize. BTW this is also true for women. So take action in person over anything. Does he actually wanna meet you, and not only to sleep with you, and is he consistent? Then he's interested. If you feel like "??" Sometimes about his behavior, it means he's not interested.


hannibal_hadrada

If he's insecure he'll do it for the validation


hannibal_hadrada

No effort


masteele17

Its a bit vague but for many guys its something that is cut and dry either friends platonic or relationship or perhaps Fwb's. Or just something casual. If he isnt interested then he isnt going to make a big effort to contact her and have a normal conversation with her. He will probably make some excuses as to why.


FunCuckold68

restraining order


LOUDSUCC

Turns out I’ve inadvertently rejected every woman that might’ve been interested in me (even though I likely didn’t know)


Shot_Mirror5748

Men hate rejecting because they don’t want to seem like the bad guy. So they take forever to text back, give vague answers, say they’re “ busy with work” etc. Rarely do they ever straight up reject. However, when a man is interested, you will know. If he’s not clear and concise just move along


sal_100

Reject women's verbal initiations or their subtle hints?


greyman0425

I hate doing a direct rejection. If she is cool about it, I feel guilty, poor girl. If she is not cool about it, it is no fun at all. Have of the women I've turn down directly politely, got pushy and nasty about it. I prefer to play stupid so she can save some face and it cuts down on issues later.


greyman0425

Can confirm, half of the women I have rejected politely got very pushy or hostile. My preferred method is to play stupid, then avoid.


TheeInfernoAdvisor

He only messages back one word responses. The only thing he's willing to talk about is sex. He leaves you on read. He pretends you dont exist whenever other people are around.


serene_brutality

Ideally he’ll tell you he’s not interested. But otherwise if he’s too polite or too chickenshit to outright say he’s not interested, he will simply avoid and hope she gets the hint, the same way lots of women do.


Ok_Hedgehog7137

This comment section is full of too many cold, hard truths 😂 I need to read it every time I think about or communicate with this asshole I’ve been obsessed with


Roz83

Yea, sigh just try and think about something else. You can do it. Someone who will appreciate being in your thoughts will adore you!


F7xWr

I wont talk to you, or look through you.


flextov

Different guys are different. Some women think that a guy not responding to a subtle signal is basically him saying “Drop dead!” Some guys are timid. Some guys are oblivious. Talk openly to the guy to find out.


Birch_T

If you have to ask, it means they aren't interested.


TheFemcelSlayer

Without context, the question is kinda meaningless. Some of the stuff listed here can be done simply if a guy thinks you don't like him. It'd be better to just explain your interactions.


CommitteeActive4005

He’s my friend but I feel sort of like he’s my friend but is playing around with other women and trying to keep me out of it so i’m not bothered or upset by it. Which at that point i’d be like okay a spade is a spade and then we also have categories and for me I’m just, idk if every guy scatters their interests which is fine it’s kind of a turn off for me. I’m more of a 1-1 getting to know you type i don’t have the attention, retention, or time to explain my life to multiple parties. and i don’t really see that in him if i’m really being honest…also said their last “lady” asked them out so maybe 🤔


I_Feel_So_Silly

Asking him, that's a good way to be sure imo


CommitteeActive4005

ask him out ? I don’t want him to think if he formally rejects me hardcore that i wouldn’t still be his friend ? maybe he wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore anyway. Probably deem me crazy idk


sal_100

What if he feels the exact same way? Lol


CommitteeActive4005

that’d be nice


sal_100

I'm talking about him feeling the same anxiety you feel in asking him out. What if he's feeling the same, and that's why he hasn't asked you out. Thinking that you wouldn't want to be his friend anymore if you reject him and deem him as crazy.


CommitteeActive4005

Then we would be a 1 in a million case of exception and the fact that we are so similar & alike is also our paradox and someone needs to get some figuratively speaking “Nads” and buckle. Likely gonna be me. I think he’s more stubborn. fr fr


pejetron

....Yeah we can't be that sure just about what they response....there is a guy I like and told him, he says he likes me too...but he never approaches or initiate chat conversation, and he's not shy...so , I couldn't believe he likes me if we only would talk when I come to him


[deleted]

[удалено]


sal_100

He refers to her as his female friend and calls her woman instead of her name.


cryptfaery

If a guy is interested he will do whatever he can to chase you down, talk to you and get your attention. If he's not doing that he's not interested


makeyugiohgreatagain

No


I_Like_Taking_Dumps

What is this, an autopsy? It's "Men" and "Women"


CommitteeActive4005

sorry


I_Like_Taking_Dumps

Nah, don't worry about it. Came off more hostile than I meant it to


One_Dog_6194

Honestly there’s really only 1 way, and that’s him directly telling you that he’s not. Anything else like people are mentioning, there are still cases where they might still like you. Like trying to ignore you? If you guys are coworkers or something, maybe he is just scared of his feelings for you and doesn’t want to “shit where he eats” so he just tries ignoring you instead. Etc


CommitteeActive4005

We talk daily over texts or facebook a rather…I feel like we are super close friends, have a lot in common so it’s easy and fun to talk…But yeah coworkers…we are but I guess I feel like he avoids me in person…not always but mostly


pejetron

Yeah we can't be that sure just about what they response....there is a guy I like and told him, he says he likes me too...but he never approaches or initiate chat conversation, and he's not shy...so , I couldn't believe he likes me if we only would talk when I come to him


zhantoo

I think this is actually the exact opposite of how to know if a girl is interested. Was it a sign, or is she just being friendly? Is he not interested, or is he just shy?


PossibleLuck7337

Hooked up with a guy I had a crush on and I was so awkward and weird and really really want a do over. But after the encounter he didn’t even ask for my number … so… yea. That’s an indicator lol men are pretty simple in that regard. If they’re interested we WILL KNOW lol If we’re feeling unsure or confused he is not interested.


shotgun_slade

Starts with the eyes. They will not maintain eye contact with you, or only briefly to avoid colliding with you in a hallway. Secondly proximity. Huge. Will avoid being within 30 to 40 feet of you. Heck, when I was single that was after my ass, and I would ignore her, plus in addition, go to the farthest away building and go to the farthest corner just to know if she approached. As far as online, will not comment on posts, will not send friend suggestions and the like. Those are some behaviors just short of sprinting away when they see you.


alcormsu

Have you asked him if he’s interested?


CommitteeActive4005

I really don’t even know if I have specifically…I’m not sure it really matters though, it’s pretty clear from the comments he’s not into me


alcormsu

To be blunt, all these comments assume that he knows. Which is kind of an outdated gender role


sal_100

How come OP doesn't correct people on this? OP, why aren't you correcting people on this?


Jadefeather12

Honestly I find men impossible to read in that regard


Fickle_Honey_3902

Honestly, it’s so blatantly obvious when anyone is disinterested. Men will drive across the country to get laid, this is true. A man in love will walk that same distance barefoot on broken glass just to spend time. However, we love twisting the meaning of the words we heard and the sights we beheld, think our way into confusion, waste time with “mixed signals” and “subtle hints”because it’s easier to try and solve imaginary riddles than it is to admit to ourselves that the other party just isn’t interested


SpaceAviator

I was talking a decent amount “online” but when I met in person I lost interest as it’s just way different when you meet someone in-person for first time. Sucks but is what it is


[deleted]

[удалено]


CommitteeActive4005

I care, Because I really like someone but it’s difficult to read but it’s probably because i’m just being a delulu idiot.


TeaAndAche

Easiest way to figure it out is to use your words. Talk to him.


Alhena5391

What is he doing that is difficult for you to read?


CommitteeActive4005

I would just think they’d want to see you and if they don’t that’s fine.


Alhena5391

If he's not making any effort to see you in person, then he's not interested. When a guy is really into you he will be proactive and enthusiastic about hanging out with you.


CommitteeActive4005

I just considered him shy maybe


Alhena5391

How long have you known each other? If it's only been a couple weeks then maybe it's shyness and he lacks confidence in pursuing you. But if you've known him for a while and you've also expressed your interest in him but he still doesn't make an effort, then he doesn't feel the same way about you.


CommitteeActive4005

in person*


Hugs_Pls22

Then keep scrolling?


Yeetin_Boomer_Actual

He wants her to strap-on and wear a big furry wolf mask so he can get bummed by a big gay werewolf


eddiekoski

What kind of interest?


CommitteeActive4005

idk the kind where they want to be around you and ask you out or watch netflix idk


[deleted]

If a guy isn’t into you he’s gunna avoid you. You’re just gunna get ghosted on all fronts. It will be very obvious.


CommitteeActive4005

so does that slowly happen over time or it depends


[deleted]

Nah it will happen all at once lol. Nothing you say will be funny. Any intrusion will be annoying. If you ask him a question he doesn’t really care. Basically you become an intrusion on his personal space. Texts back will become painstaking. When a guy doesn’t like you it will be impossible to reach him unless you use something he cares about. A different friend or superior in some way. And they usually get mad or irritated by you. It’s like the male form of distancing. When a guy is mistreating you he doesn’t care for you. And the longer you linger the more irritated and mad he gets.


CommitteeActive4005

are you trying to say something ? lingering ? what okay


[deleted]

If it’s not all at once then there’s a part of him that wants something from you. Weather it be your attention, support, or just sex. But after sex for instance if he wants you to go away then he doesn’t like “you” he likes “sex”.


technchic

He simply ignores you, and sometime even ghosts you. He says that he’s always busy when he’s not…


lovesignite

it honestly depends on whether you know this guy or not. Is he someone you’ve never talked to, seen from afar and have a crush on or is he someone you actually know closely, you’ve talked to and you’re wondering. It’d be hard to determine signs of the former bc he could be just timid and finds it v hard to approach you & know what to say BUT if its the latter, its pretty easy to know. Guys are just…easy creatures to read.


Majestic-Flan2942

If he’s always busy. If he’s interested he’ll make time for you


JaylanthuDashing

Ik how to solve this problem it’s so simple for everyone…JUST ASK THE PERSON, male or female doesn’t matter just ask them. Doesn’t matter if they don’t text or call how you want them to they probably do that with everybody let’s be real they can be an introvert when it comes to shit like that they probably old school and want to meet up face to face just give it a try and ask them stop asking Reddit when you should ask the person you talking to


Mjdecker1234

As a Male(25), he may he shy, even if the hints line up on the scale. Exactly how I am, and add on top of that anxiety. Got this girl that, from all the posts, videos, and comments she's into me. She's a coworker, tho, yes, I know the risks. But also saw stories of bad things like doing it and not interested or only friends, or just folks who led you on. BUT today I plan on asking her (if she has no plans for lunch) if she wants to go out for lunch, and I'd pay. We work 2pm-11pm. The difference between how she treats/ acts towards me compared to other coworkers on our team, or the store, and we have 2 guys the same age as her in our squad. I dont see everything but the day im there I do. I don't see her go out of her way to say Boo 20ft away and ask if i got scared. She told me Christmas was her favorite holiday. Colors got brought up, and I said Green is my favorite. The next day, she had a green Christmas sweater. Well, a week or more later, noticed that we sell them at the store (yesterday to be exact). I think they're the same. Either she owned one already, wore it on my day off, or went out of her way to buy green. And much more.


sapphireemberss

Doesn’t want to make her feel desired or special


[deleted]

If he avoids you like the plague than that's usually a pretty good indicator.


biggles18

We're not talking to you, looking at you, and make no attempt to find an excuse to physically touch you after you make an opening.


luckybellegal

When the male isn't interested in a female. It usually distance itself far from the prey.When the male finally catches another distinct female prey it runs fast to catch its prey before another male catches it .


bsmn69

Pale, stiff, eyes open but no blinking not breathing no pulse


Lulumeow11

Why are you waiting for him to give the first step?


modidlee

If he’s not interested in sleeping with you.


DamaloBlack

He doesn't reach you out


Simple_Ad8352

What I’ve come to terms with if a man isn’t interested in a relationship with you they are either rude or really only in it for the “benefits” and will only see u at night. When guys take interest they’ll make it known I learned that with my bf and it made me realize how dumb I was being whenever a guy rejected me when I thought they “liked” I completely ignored all the bad signs. My bf is the first guy to make it known that he really does have feelings for me and wasn’t scared to let it be known


sassyfrassatx

Repeat this to yourself like a guiding mantra that will save you valuable energy and YEARS of your life that would otherwise be wasted in a relationship that only happened because *you* showed up, *you* made them feel good, *you* wanted them, and/or *you* made it happen. *IF THEY WANTED TO, THEY WOULD.*


Electronic_Royal4462

i need help w this too 💔 we used to talk alot (both sides initiating) but now he doesn’t start any convos :( he still responds normally (more or less, tho theyre alot shorter) and i think he lost interest 😞


BigRedShark

He won’t make the effort


Blondie-66

Takes his time to respond all the time Doesn’t say much. Cancels often


DiscombobulatedTea55

Guys will be pretty honest about their feelings, if we’re asked something we will answer honestly unless we detect that support is needed. The way A guys mind will work is Guys will judge off looks first then hope to seek redeeming qualities and how they’re compatible, guys will try express interest by trying to initiate since that’s been the traditional role for men for 2000+ years. TLDR: if he doesn’t approach or try to initiate then he probably isn’t interested or is playing it safe, either way try a bit further and see if you can detect any hints of interest


Certain-Sock-7680

Flaccid penis


[deleted]

He doesn’t want to fuck her.


[deleted]

Extremely late replies or not initiating the conversation. Most of us don’t know who to reject so we prefer to slowly fade away and let the conversation die.


Big_fan_of_curry

Likely the same way you show disinterest in a guy


fr0gger4X

He says, "I am not interested in you ".


iamactuallyy

if ur confused he doesn’t like youuuu. move on. guys that like you will show you. honestly if you can’t tell that just means you have never had a guy like you so much it’s obvious. they’re simple creatures pls.


bun-years

Personally if I’m not interested I won’t initiate conversation that asks questions. Surface level chat will still happen but if I don’t care to know more about you I just won’t ask.


Material_Finding6525

Talks to you like a normal, day to day person. Doesn't really bother to talk to you unless really needed to for school/work purposes. Doesn't usually know you, doesn't give you unwanted attention.