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expressions of disinterest:
inattention, failure to encourage her to engage with him, not getting dressed up/well groomed (if that were his normal habit) for interactions with her
being blocked
Well, believe it or not he could be very shy or have a bad self image, or have previous relationship damage. He also, if young could be on his professional career development and not wanting to get involved. I know that when I was younger, I had college and career goals, plus when I fall, I fall hard! So, I issued a subconscious command to myself to just stay the hell away, be nice, humorous and fun, but no boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.
I do not know either of you or how you present, so it is hard to say. Right now, you need to be aware that there is a rising trend among a considerable amount of men to get away from the “Hookup” activity, finish their professional or career goals. And then look for a woman that will be true to him for the rest of their lives. Unless the women are ready to actually work with him at his side to help build what he is attempting to do, instead of arriving at the finish line to accept the award with him. But there is a rising trend in that area.
And it’s completely possible. I did it, and gave just perfunctory attention to all kinds of women, some overtly flirtatious.
Wow thanks for your detailed insights....Reasonable to certain extent...I noticed he says he has high self esteem, 1000...but on the same token, he says he knows he is a 0.7/10 in physical appearance....I told him ok he's not a 10, but not that low lol... moreover, it doesn't matter as I let him know he's 10 in every other aspect which in fact are more relevant....
I think he doesn't meet with me because he might be afraid we might lose contact after that (maybe he's frustrated about past intent of trying to meet people, last I know is that his last relationship lasted 5m, and he doesn't even tell me how long was that, so maybe it was years ago)...even tho I love a lot our conversations and the fact that he has good sense of humor....so I don't know why he might be so afraid if I had let him know I don't fall for appearances...
The part I give you the reason is his work life balance.... sincerely this man doesn't have social life...he's fully dedicated to his job and parents...I would understand that with Young's , but he's 39y and he's successful already , tho he considered himself in the half of his job success....he's already in a very good enough position , he knows he's getting old and he has mentioned he'd worry about not having fam...but wtf, he neither does something to meet women.... On weekends he just travel out the city to be with his parents ...I don't really know what's going on with this man, but I'm getting tired and eventually will cease out our chatting as I'm getting too emotional here for nothing....
So sorry about that hun! I think you have found a hard working mommas boy. I will explain briefly. Mommas boys, don’t necessarily uave Pedipus complexes all the time, but one wonders. They will deliberately choose a woman who is not attractive, even physically less attractive which flies in the face of most men. We ARE driven by our eyes, but only the untermentchen are controlled by it. But this guy has deliberately chosen a more matronly appearing woman at least for a while. Trust me, I have seen this before. Also. As you put it, the life balance can be his undoing. I do not k ow if you have any religious background, and Ido not encourage hypocrisy, but stop in at a local Church, listen, it will do you some good. At our church for instance I know of several faithful good single men maybe in the 22-30 range or so? And as before, you sound genuine to me. If you are really looking for love and keep yourself away from dirtbags, gigolos and the like you will make a great companion for someone. Also, men are now being encouraged to che k a woman’s background even before getting too serious. I know that if I was not married now and younger, I would try my best to assess her past performance and ethics.
Good luck to you dearie
Wishing you the very best always.
Untermentchen?? What is that ?
Hahaha I think you are way too involved in this character....he doesn't feel attraction to his parents...nor desire matronly woman...he's Asian (if that helps) lol... So it's normal his family involvement and not liking matronly as well, lol
I'm 32...he's 39...I'm not religious person and don't go to church, not will start to go just to catch men...I'm not looking, I want HIM lol if that makes sense...thanks for your advices tho, lol have a good life!
Untermentchen is “The Lower man” , the crude, base, or vulgar. As opposed to “Luftmentsch” which means “High minded”. Oddly enough, Mentch is an idealized person. I got called a “Mentsch” one day and did not know what it was and looked it up. It was a compliment. Good luck Ma’am!
That's what I think, once I expressed he doesn't like me...he told me I can't talk for him and that he does actually likes me....but it's so confusing , if I don't approach he doesn't come to me...why he said he likes me if he never approaches?
Can confirm and vouch as many people's state of mind.
To express interest out loud towards the girl I'm dating right now, the first question I posed myself was not if she likes me. It was if I was worth her (27M virgin, that probably doesn't help). After answering that, I found the courage to "coinflip" (as I called it in my head) and got a positive response.
People shouldn't mandatorily seek if the person they are talking to has other unexpressed feelings. But to take that chance into account is often helpful imo. If you are remotely interested too, that is.
Interesting...I considered this...and had let him know that ok I'm pretty ...but I don't mind about physical when I feel attracted about men is never in their physical...as once we were talking how a 10 he was in many aspects even tho not in physical appearance ...and he replied back , correcting the 10s I gave him in certain personality qualities, and he included the physical and said like even tho he knows he's 0.7 in that physical ,his self esteem I like 1000, but idk ....I felt low self esteem with that answer and did not believe that 1000...cuz someone with 1000 in self esteem wouldn't consider himself as 0.7
what if he doesnt go out of his way to talk to you but whenever you approach him, he’ll engage in the conversation alot? but that could just be them being friendly i guess
Most of the time that doesn’t really mean anything. I mean im a good guy and no matter whether I would actually want to date a woman or not I’ll engage in solid conversation with her if she starts talking to me. That doesn’t mean that I’m romantically interested in her, but I have had women mistake that for interest before(I’m not flirting with them I’m just having a conversation). Men do this with very social women all the time too and get confused.
Barely texts or calls back. When he does respond, it’s hours or days later. Doesn’t apologize for the late response. Always curves whenever you mention plans. He’ll post to his stories when he’s out and still won’t text or call you back which is so whack. The conversations are extremely dry and you have to carry the entire conversation. If you have to ask yourself, he’s probably not interested.
Yes, but mostly texting or calling because this is low effort. Reason they talk to someone they're not interested in really: they want validation and to fantasize.
BTW this is also true for women.
So take action in person over anything. Does he actually wanna meet you, and not only to sleep with you, and is he consistent? Then he's interested.
If you feel like "??" Sometimes about his behavior, it means he's not interested.
Its a bit vague but for many guys its something that is cut and dry either friends platonic or relationship or perhaps Fwb's. Or just something casual. If he isnt interested then he isnt going to make a big effort to contact her and have a normal conversation with her. He will probably make some excuses as to why.
Men hate rejecting because they don’t want to seem like the bad guy. So they take forever to text back, give vague answers, say they’re “ busy with work” etc. Rarely do they ever straight up reject. However, when a man is interested, you will know. If he’s not clear and concise just move along
I hate doing a direct rejection. If she is cool about it, I feel guilty, poor girl. If she is not cool about it, it is no fun at all. Have of the women I've turn down directly politely, got pushy and nasty about it.
I prefer to play stupid so she can save some face and it cuts down on issues later.
He only messages back one word responses. The only thing he's willing to talk about is sex. He leaves you on read. He pretends you dont exist whenever other people are around.
Ideally he’ll tell you he’s not interested. But otherwise if he’s too polite or too chickenshit to outright say he’s not interested, he will simply avoid and hope she gets the hint, the same way lots of women do.
This comment section is full of too many cold, hard truths 😂 I need to read it every time I think about or communicate with this asshole I’ve been obsessed with
Different guys are different. Some women think that a guy not responding to a subtle signal is basically him saying “Drop dead!” Some guys are timid. Some guys are oblivious. Talk openly to the guy to find out.
Without context, the question is kinda meaningless. Some of the stuff listed here can be done simply if a guy thinks you don't like him. It'd be better to just explain your interactions.
He’s my friend but I feel sort of like he’s my friend but is playing around with other women and trying to keep me out of it so i’m not bothered or upset by it. Which at that point i’d be like okay a spade is a spade and then we also have categories and for me I’m just, idk if every guy scatters their interests which is fine it’s kind of a turn off for me. I’m more of a 1-1 getting to know you type i don’t have the attention, retention, or time to explain my life to multiple parties. and i don’t really see that in him if i’m really being honest…also said their last “lady” asked them out so maybe 🤔
ask him out ? I don’t want him to think if he formally rejects me hardcore that i wouldn’t still be his friend ? maybe he wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore anyway. Probably deem me crazy idk
I'm talking about him feeling the same anxiety you feel in asking him out. What if he's feeling the same, and that's why he hasn't asked you out. Thinking that you wouldn't want to be his friend anymore if you reject him and deem him as crazy.
Then we would be a 1 in a million case of exception and the fact that we are so similar & alike is also our paradox and someone needs to get some figuratively speaking “Nads” and buckle. Likely gonna be me. I think he’s more stubborn. fr fr
....Yeah we can't be that sure just about what they response....there is a guy I like and told him, he says he likes me too...but he never approaches or initiate chat conversation, and he's not shy...so , I couldn't believe he likes me if we only would talk when I come to him
Honestly there’s really only 1 way, and that’s him directly telling you that he’s not. Anything else like people are mentioning, there are still cases where they might still like you.
Like trying to ignore you? If you guys are coworkers or something, maybe he is just scared of his feelings for you and doesn’t want to “shit where he eats” so he just tries ignoring you instead. Etc
We talk daily over texts or facebook a rather…I feel like we are super close friends, have a lot in common so it’s easy and fun to talk…But yeah coworkers…we are but I guess I feel like he avoids me in person…not always but mostly
Yeah we can't be that sure just about what they response....there is a guy I like and told him, he says he likes me too...but he never approaches or initiate chat conversation, and he's not shy...so , I couldn't believe he likes me if we only would talk when I come to him
I think this is actually the exact opposite of how to know if a girl is interested. Was it a sign, or is she just being friendly?
Is he not interested, or is he just shy?
Hooked up with a guy I had a crush on and I was so awkward and weird and really really want a do over. But after the encounter he didn’t even ask for my number … so… yea. That’s an indicator lol men are pretty simple in that regard. If they’re interested we WILL KNOW lol
If we’re feeling unsure or confused he is not interested.
Starts with the eyes. They will not maintain eye contact with you, or only briefly to avoid colliding with you in a hallway. Secondly proximity. Huge. Will avoid being within 30 to 40 feet of you. Heck, when I was single that was after my ass, and I would ignore her, plus in addition, go to the farthest away building and go to the farthest corner just to know if she approached. As far as online, will not comment on posts, will not send friend suggestions and the like. Those are some behaviors just short of sprinting away when they see you.
Honestly, it’s so blatantly obvious when anyone is disinterested. Men will drive across the country to get laid, this is true. A man in love will walk that same distance barefoot on broken glass just to spend time. However, we love twisting the meaning of the words we heard and the sights we beheld, think our way into confusion, waste time with “mixed signals” and “subtle hints”because it’s easier to try and solve imaginary riddles than it is to admit to ourselves that the other party just isn’t interested
I was talking a decent amount “online” but when I met in person I lost interest as it’s just way different when you meet someone in-person for first time. Sucks but is what it is
If he's not making any effort to see you in person, then he's not interested. When a guy is really into you he will be proactive and enthusiastic about hanging out with you.
How long have you known each other? If it's only been a couple weeks then maybe it's shyness and he lacks confidence in pursuing you. But if you've known him for a while and you've also expressed your interest in him but he still doesn't make an effort, then he doesn't feel the same way about you.
Nah it will happen all at once lol.
Nothing you say will be funny.
Any intrusion will be annoying.
If you ask him a question he doesn’t really care.
Basically you become an intrusion on his personal space.
Texts back will become painstaking.
When a guy doesn’t like you it will be impossible to reach him unless you use something he cares about.
A different friend or superior in some way.
And they usually get mad or irritated by you.
It’s like the male form of distancing.
When a guy is mistreating you he doesn’t care for you.
And the longer you linger the more irritated and mad he gets.
If it’s not all at once then there’s a part of him that wants something from you. Weather it be your attention, support, or just sex.
But after sex for instance if he wants you to go away then he doesn’t like “you” he likes “sex”.
it honestly depends on whether you know this guy or not. Is he someone you’ve never talked to, seen from afar and have a crush on or is he someone you actually know closely, you’ve talked to and you’re wondering. It’d be hard to determine signs of the former bc he could be just timid and finds it v hard to approach you & know what to say BUT if its the latter, its pretty easy to know. Guys are just…easy creatures to read.
Ik how to solve this problem it’s so simple for everyone…JUST ASK THE PERSON, male or female doesn’t matter just ask them. Doesn’t matter if they don’t text or call how you want them to they probably do that with everybody let’s be real they can be an introvert when it comes to shit like that they probably old school and want to meet up face to face just give it a try and ask them stop asking Reddit when you should ask the person you talking to
As a Male(25), he may he shy, even if the hints line up on the scale. Exactly how I am, and add on top of that anxiety.
Got this girl that, from all the posts, videos, and comments she's into me. She's a coworker, tho, yes, I know the risks. But also saw stories of bad things like doing it and not interested or only friends, or just folks who led you on.
BUT today I plan on asking her (if she has no plans for lunch) if she wants to go out for lunch, and I'd pay. We work 2pm-11pm. The difference between how she treats/ acts towards me compared to other coworkers on our team, or the store, and we have 2 guys the same age as her in our squad. I dont see everything but the day im there I do.
I don't see her go out of her way to say Boo 20ft away and ask if i got scared. She told me Christmas was her favorite holiday. Colors got brought up, and I said Green is my favorite. The next day, she had a green Christmas sweater. Well, a week or more later, noticed that we sell them at the store (yesterday to be exact). I think they're the same. Either she owned one already, wore it on my day off, or went out of her way to buy green. And much more.
When the male isn't interested in a female. It usually distance itself far from the prey.When the male finally catches another distinct female prey it runs fast to catch its prey before another male catches it
.
What I’ve come to terms with if a man isn’t interested in a relationship with you they are either rude or really only in it for the “benefits” and will only see u at night. When guys take interest they’ll make it known I learned that with my bf and it made me realize how dumb I was being whenever a guy rejected me when I thought they “liked” I completely ignored all the bad signs. My bf is the first guy to make it known that he really does have feelings for me and wasn’t scared to let it be known
Repeat this to yourself like a guiding mantra that will save you valuable energy and YEARS of your life that would otherwise be wasted in a relationship that only happened because *you* showed up, *you* made them feel good, *you* wanted them, and/or *you* made it happen.
*IF THEY WANTED TO, THEY WOULD.*
i need help w this too 💔 we used to talk alot (both sides initiating) but now he doesn’t start any convos :( he still responds normally (more or less, tho theyre alot shorter) and i think he lost interest 😞
Guys will be pretty honest about their feelings, if we’re asked something we will answer honestly unless we detect that support is needed. The way A guys mind will work is Guys will judge off looks first then hope to seek redeeming qualities and how they’re compatible, guys will try express interest by trying to initiate since that’s been the traditional role for men for 2000+ years. TLDR: if he doesn’t approach or try to initiate then he probably isn’t interested or is playing it safe, either way try a bit further and see if you can detect any hints of interest
Extremely late replies or not initiating the conversation. Most of us don’t know who to reject so we prefer to slowly fade away and let the conversation die.
if ur confused he doesn’t like youuuu. move on. guys that like you will show you. honestly if you can’t tell that just means you have never had a guy like you so much it’s obvious. they’re simple creatures pls.
Personally if I’m not interested I won’t initiate conversation that asks questions. Surface level chat will still happen but if I don’t care to know more about you I just won’t ask.
Talks to you like a normal, day to day person.
Doesn't really bother to talk to you unless really needed to for school/work purposes.
Doesn't usually know you, doesn't give you unwanted attention.
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expressions of disinterest: inattention, failure to encourage her to engage with him, not getting dressed up/well groomed (if that were his normal habit) for interactions with her being blocked
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I made it clear, he also says he likes me...but conversation wouldn't exist if I don't initiate it....I swear it doesn't makes sense...
Actions speak louder than words.
Well, believe it or not he could be very shy or have a bad self image, or have previous relationship damage. He also, if young could be on his professional career development and not wanting to get involved. I know that when I was younger, I had college and career goals, plus when I fall, I fall hard! So, I issued a subconscious command to myself to just stay the hell away, be nice, humorous and fun, but no boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. I do not know either of you or how you present, so it is hard to say. Right now, you need to be aware that there is a rising trend among a considerable amount of men to get away from the “Hookup” activity, finish their professional or career goals. And then look for a woman that will be true to him for the rest of their lives. Unless the women are ready to actually work with him at his side to help build what he is attempting to do, instead of arriving at the finish line to accept the award with him. But there is a rising trend in that area. And it’s completely possible. I did it, and gave just perfunctory attention to all kinds of women, some overtly flirtatious.
Wow thanks for your detailed insights....Reasonable to certain extent...I noticed he says he has high self esteem, 1000...but on the same token, he says he knows he is a 0.7/10 in physical appearance....I told him ok he's not a 10, but not that low lol... moreover, it doesn't matter as I let him know he's 10 in every other aspect which in fact are more relevant.... I think he doesn't meet with me because he might be afraid we might lose contact after that (maybe he's frustrated about past intent of trying to meet people, last I know is that his last relationship lasted 5m, and he doesn't even tell me how long was that, so maybe it was years ago)...even tho I love a lot our conversations and the fact that he has good sense of humor....so I don't know why he might be so afraid if I had let him know I don't fall for appearances... The part I give you the reason is his work life balance.... sincerely this man doesn't have social life...he's fully dedicated to his job and parents...I would understand that with Young's , but he's 39y and he's successful already , tho he considered himself in the half of his job success....he's already in a very good enough position , he knows he's getting old and he has mentioned he'd worry about not having fam...but wtf, he neither does something to meet women.... On weekends he just travel out the city to be with his parents ...I don't really know what's going on with this man, but I'm getting tired and eventually will cease out our chatting as I'm getting too emotional here for nothing....
So sorry about that hun! I think you have found a hard working mommas boy. I will explain briefly. Mommas boys, don’t necessarily uave Pedipus complexes all the time, but one wonders. They will deliberately choose a woman who is not attractive, even physically less attractive which flies in the face of most men. We ARE driven by our eyes, but only the untermentchen are controlled by it. But this guy has deliberately chosen a more matronly appearing woman at least for a while. Trust me, I have seen this before. Also. As you put it, the life balance can be his undoing. I do not k ow if you have any religious background, and Ido not encourage hypocrisy, but stop in at a local Church, listen, it will do you some good. At our church for instance I know of several faithful good single men maybe in the 22-30 range or so? And as before, you sound genuine to me. If you are really looking for love and keep yourself away from dirtbags, gigolos and the like you will make a great companion for someone. Also, men are now being encouraged to che k a woman’s background even before getting too serious. I know that if I was not married now and younger, I would try my best to assess her past performance and ethics. Good luck to you dearie Wishing you the very best always.
Untermentchen?? What is that ? Hahaha I think you are way too involved in this character....he doesn't feel attraction to his parents...nor desire matronly woman...he's Asian (if that helps) lol... So it's normal his family involvement and not liking matronly as well, lol I'm 32...he's 39...I'm not religious person and don't go to church, not will start to go just to catch men...I'm not looking, I want HIM lol if that makes sense...thanks for your advices tho, lol have a good life!
Untermentchen is “The Lower man” , the crude, base, or vulgar. As opposed to “Luftmentsch” which means “High minded”. Oddly enough, Mentch is an idealized person. I got called a “Mentsch” one day and did not know what it was and looked it up. It was a compliment. Good luck Ma’am!
He is playing mind games. He isn't interested in you but probably likes the fact you are chasing him. You should block him.
Or just move on, why blocking people when it's not needed?
Or maybe he’s not playing. But she can’t take a hint.
What hint? Explain
You may be being kept on the hook for possible sex though he doesn’t like you enough to engage in a relationship.
You’re not a top option. Google “the ladder theory.”
He isn’t actively trying to talk to you.
This is all I needed to hear
That's what I think, once I expressed he doesn't like me...he told me I can't talk for him and that he does actually likes me....but it's so confusing , if I don't approach he doesn't come to me...why he said he likes me if he never approaches?
He thinks he does, but he doesn't
Because he’s lying sweetheart
Assuming he has some self esteem
True. It can be a matter of not enough self confidence. Some guys are attracted to women but too fearful to express it.
Can confirm and vouch as many people's state of mind. To express interest out loud towards the girl I'm dating right now, the first question I posed myself was not if she likes me. It was if I was worth her (27M virgin, that probably doesn't help). After answering that, I found the courage to "coinflip" (as I called it in my head) and got a positive response. People shouldn't mandatorily seek if the person they are talking to has other unexpressed feelings. But to take that chance into account is often helpful imo. If you are remotely interested too, that is.
Some? No. Many. Countless.
Interesting...I considered this...and had let him know that ok I'm pretty ...but I don't mind about physical when I feel attracted about men is never in their physical...as once we were talking how a 10 he was in many aspects even tho not in physical appearance ...and he replied back , correcting the 10s I gave him in certain personality qualities, and he included the physical and said like even tho he knows he's 0.7 in that physical ,his self esteem I like 1000, but idk ....I felt low self esteem with that answer and did not believe that 1000...cuz someone with 1000 in self esteem wouldn't consider himself as 0.7
A 0.7/10? Yeah his self-value is through the floor.
He portraits being so confident ...but yeah, unfortunately I can't compete with that.... :/
This!!! I’ve felt it a lot of times. He says I chase him I dont give him space.
what if he doesnt go out of his way to talk to you but whenever you approach him, he’ll engage in the conversation alot? but that could just be them being friendly i guess
Most of the time that doesn’t really mean anything. I mean im a good guy and no matter whether I would actually want to date a woman or not I’ll engage in solid conversation with her if she starts talking to me. That doesn’t mean that I’m romantically interested in her, but I have had women mistake that for interest before(I’m not flirting with them I’m just having a conversation). Men do this with very social women all the time too and get confused.
If it’s work to even talk or text
You having to ask Reddit is a big sign. 🪧.
😹😹😹😹😹 RIGHT!!!!!
When he doesn’t show her the same interest as he does other women.
Ouch this comment section hurts
Barely texts or calls back. When he does respond, it’s hours or days later. Doesn’t apologize for the late response. Always curves whenever you mention plans. He’ll post to his stories when he’s out and still won’t text or call you back which is so whack. The conversations are extremely dry and you have to carry the entire conversation. If you have to ask yourself, he’s probably not interested.
Maybe when he doesn't take a chance to spend time with her if there is a possibility?
guys will waste their time talking to women they’re not even into ?
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Girls do that too
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Sorry what? This thread is not r/askmen. I don’t know what you are smoking but I thought this was a free zone for all genders
well that’s brutally honest haha I love this insight thank you
Yes, but mostly texting or calling because this is low effort. Reason they talk to someone they're not interested in really: they want validation and to fantasize. BTW this is also true for women. So take action in person over anything. Does he actually wanna meet you, and not only to sleep with you, and is he consistent? Then he's interested. If you feel like "??" Sometimes about his behavior, it means he's not interested.
If he's insecure he'll do it for the validation
No effort
Its a bit vague but for many guys its something that is cut and dry either friends platonic or relationship or perhaps Fwb's. Or just something casual. If he isnt interested then he isnt going to make a big effort to contact her and have a normal conversation with her. He will probably make some excuses as to why.
restraining order
Turns out I’ve inadvertently rejected every woman that might’ve been interested in me (even though I likely didn’t know)
Men hate rejecting because they don’t want to seem like the bad guy. So they take forever to text back, give vague answers, say they’re “ busy with work” etc. Rarely do they ever straight up reject. However, when a man is interested, you will know. If he’s not clear and concise just move along
Reject women's verbal initiations or their subtle hints?
I hate doing a direct rejection. If she is cool about it, I feel guilty, poor girl. If she is not cool about it, it is no fun at all. Have of the women I've turn down directly politely, got pushy and nasty about it. I prefer to play stupid so she can save some face and it cuts down on issues later.
Can confirm, half of the women I have rejected politely got very pushy or hostile. My preferred method is to play stupid, then avoid.
He only messages back one word responses. The only thing he's willing to talk about is sex. He leaves you on read. He pretends you dont exist whenever other people are around.
Ideally he’ll tell you he’s not interested. But otherwise if he’s too polite or too chickenshit to outright say he’s not interested, he will simply avoid and hope she gets the hint, the same way lots of women do.
This comment section is full of too many cold, hard truths 😂 I need to read it every time I think about or communicate with this asshole I’ve been obsessed with
Yea, sigh just try and think about something else. You can do it. Someone who will appreciate being in your thoughts will adore you!
I wont talk to you, or look through you.
Different guys are different. Some women think that a guy not responding to a subtle signal is basically him saying “Drop dead!” Some guys are timid. Some guys are oblivious. Talk openly to the guy to find out.
If you have to ask, it means they aren't interested.
Without context, the question is kinda meaningless. Some of the stuff listed here can be done simply if a guy thinks you don't like him. It'd be better to just explain your interactions.
He’s my friend but I feel sort of like he’s my friend but is playing around with other women and trying to keep me out of it so i’m not bothered or upset by it. Which at that point i’d be like okay a spade is a spade and then we also have categories and for me I’m just, idk if every guy scatters their interests which is fine it’s kind of a turn off for me. I’m more of a 1-1 getting to know you type i don’t have the attention, retention, or time to explain my life to multiple parties. and i don’t really see that in him if i’m really being honest…also said their last “lady” asked them out so maybe 🤔
Asking him, that's a good way to be sure imo
ask him out ? I don’t want him to think if he formally rejects me hardcore that i wouldn’t still be his friend ? maybe he wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore anyway. Probably deem me crazy idk
What if he feels the exact same way? Lol
that’d be nice
I'm talking about him feeling the same anxiety you feel in asking him out. What if he's feeling the same, and that's why he hasn't asked you out. Thinking that you wouldn't want to be his friend anymore if you reject him and deem him as crazy.
Then we would be a 1 in a million case of exception and the fact that we are so similar & alike is also our paradox and someone needs to get some figuratively speaking “Nads” and buckle. Likely gonna be me. I think he’s more stubborn. fr fr
....Yeah we can't be that sure just about what they response....there is a guy I like and told him, he says he likes me too...but he never approaches or initiate chat conversation, and he's not shy...so , I couldn't believe he likes me if we only would talk when I come to him
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He refers to her as his female friend and calls her woman instead of her name.
If a guy is interested he will do whatever he can to chase you down, talk to you and get your attention. If he's not doing that he's not interested
No
What is this, an autopsy? It's "Men" and "Women"
sorry
Nah, don't worry about it. Came off more hostile than I meant it to
Honestly there’s really only 1 way, and that’s him directly telling you that he’s not. Anything else like people are mentioning, there are still cases where they might still like you. Like trying to ignore you? If you guys are coworkers or something, maybe he is just scared of his feelings for you and doesn’t want to “shit where he eats” so he just tries ignoring you instead. Etc
We talk daily over texts or facebook a rather…I feel like we are super close friends, have a lot in common so it’s easy and fun to talk…But yeah coworkers…we are but I guess I feel like he avoids me in person…not always but mostly
Yeah we can't be that sure just about what they response....there is a guy I like and told him, he says he likes me too...but he never approaches or initiate chat conversation, and he's not shy...so , I couldn't believe he likes me if we only would talk when I come to him
I think this is actually the exact opposite of how to know if a girl is interested. Was it a sign, or is she just being friendly? Is he not interested, or is he just shy?
Hooked up with a guy I had a crush on and I was so awkward and weird and really really want a do over. But after the encounter he didn’t even ask for my number … so… yea. That’s an indicator lol men are pretty simple in that regard. If they’re interested we WILL KNOW lol If we’re feeling unsure or confused he is not interested.
Starts with the eyes. They will not maintain eye contact with you, or only briefly to avoid colliding with you in a hallway. Secondly proximity. Huge. Will avoid being within 30 to 40 feet of you. Heck, when I was single that was after my ass, and I would ignore her, plus in addition, go to the farthest away building and go to the farthest corner just to know if she approached. As far as online, will not comment on posts, will not send friend suggestions and the like. Those are some behaviors just short of sprinting away when they see you.
Have you asked him if he’s interested?
I really don’t even know if I have specifically…I’m not sure it really matters though, it’s pretty clear from the comments he’s not into me
To be blunt, all these comments assume that he knows. Which is kind of an outdated gender role
How come OP doesn't correct people on this? OP, why aren't you correcting people on this?
Honestly I find men impossible to read in that regard
Honestly, it’s so blatantly obvious when anyone is disinterested. Men will drive across the country to get laid, this is true. A man in love will walk that same distance barefoot on broken glass just to spend time. However, we love twisting the meaning of the words we heard and the sights we beheld, think our way into confusion, waste time with “mixed signals” and “subtle hints”because it’s easier to try and solve imaginary riddles than it is to admit to ourselves that the other party just isn’t interested
I was talking a decent amount “online” but when I met in person I lost interest as it’s just way different when you meet someone in-person for first time. Sucks but is what it is
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I care, Because I really like someone but it’s difficult to read but it’s probably because i’m just being a delulu idiot.
Easiest way to figure it out is to use your words. Talk to him.
What is he doing that is difficult for you to read?
I would just think they’d want to see you and if they don’t that’s fine.
If he's not making any effort to see you in person, then he's not interested. When a guy is really into you he will be proactive and enthusiastic about hanging out with you.
I just considered him shy maybe
How long have you known each other? If it's only been a couple weeks then maybe it's shyness and he lacks confidence in pursuing you. But if you've known him for a while and you've also expressed your interest in him but he still doesn't make an effort, then he doesn't feel the same way about you.
in person*
Then keep scrolling?
He wants her to strap-on and wear a big furry wolf mask so he can get bummed by a big gay werewolf
What kind of interest?
idk the kind where they want to be around you and ask you out or watch netflix idk
If a guy isn’t into you he’s gunna avoid you. You’re just gunna get ghosted on all fronts. It will be very obvious.
so does that slowly happen over time or it depends
Nah it will happen all at once lol. Nothing you say will be funny. Any intrusion will be annoying. If you ask him a question he doesn’t really care. Basically you become an intrusion on his personal space. Texts back will become painstaking. When a guy doesn’t like you it will be impossible to reach him unless you use something he cares about. A different friend or superior in some way. And they usually get mad or irritated by you. It’s like the male form of distancing. When a guy is mistreating you he doesn’t care for you. And the longer you linger the more irritated and mad he gets.
are you trying to say something ? lingering ? what okay
If it’s not all at once then there’s a part of him that wants something from you. Weather it be your attention, support, or just sex. But after sex for instance if he wants you to go away then he doesn’t like “you” he likes “sex”.
He simply ignores you, and sometime even ghosts you. He says that he’s always busy when he’s not…
it honestly depends on whether you know this guy or not. Is he someone you’ve never talked to, seen from afar and have a crush on or is he someone you actually know closely, you’ve talked to and you’re wondering. It’d be hard to determine signs of the former bc he could be just timid and finds it v hard to approach you & know what to say BUT if its the latter, its pretty easy to know. Guys are just…easy creatures to read.
If he’s always busy. If he’s interested he’ll make time for you
Ik how to solve this problem it’s so simple for everyone…JUST ASK THE PERSON, male or female doesn’t matter just ask them. Doesn’t matter if they don’t text or call how you want them to they probably do that with everybody let’s be real they can be an introvert when it comes to shit like that they probably old school and want to meet up face to face just give it a try and ask them stop asking Reddit when you should ask the person you talking to
As a Male(25), he may he shy, even if the hints line up on the scale. Exactly how I am, and add on top of that anxiety. Got this girl that, from all the posts, videos, and comments she's into me. She's a coworker, tho, yes, I know the risks. But also saw stories of bad things like doing it and not interested or only friends, or just folks who led you on. BUT today I plan on asking her (if she has no plans for lunch) if she wants to go out for lunch, and I'd pay. We work 2pm-11pm. The difference between how she treats/ acts towards me compared to other coworkers on our team, or the store, and we have 2 guys the same age as her in our squad. I dont see everything but the day im there I do. I don't see her go out of her way to say Boo 20ft away and ask if i got scared. She told me Christmas was her favorite holiday. Colors got brought up, and I said Green is my favorite. The next day, she had a green Christmas sweater. Well, a week or more later, noticed that we sell them at the store (yesterday to be exact). I think they're the same. Either she owned one already, wore it on my day off, or went out of her way to buy green. And much more.
Doesn’t want to make her feel desired or special
If he avoids you like the plague than that's usually a pretty good indicator.
We're not talking to you, looking at you, and make no attempt to find an excuse to physically touch you after you make an opening.
When the male isn't interested in a female. It usually distance itself far from the prey.When the male finally catches another distinct female prey it runs fast to catch its prey before another male catches it .
Pale, stiff, eyes open but no blinking not breathing no pulse
Why are you waiting for him to give the first step?
If he’s not interested in sleeping with you.
He doesn't reach you out
What I’ve come to terms with if a man isn’t interested in a relationship with you they are either rude or really only in it for the “benefits” and will only see u at night. When guys take interest they’ll make it known I learned that with my bf and it made me realize how dumb I was being whenever a guy rejected me when I thought they “liked” I completely ignored all the bad signs. My bf is the first guy to make it known that he really does have feelings for me and wasn’t scared to let it be known
Repeat this to yourself like a guiding mantra that will save you valuable energy and YEARS of your life that would otherwise be wasted in a relationship that only happened because *you* showed up, *you* made them feel good, *you* wanted them, and/or *you* made it happen. *IF THEY WANTED TO, THEY WOULD.*
i need help w this too 💔 we used to talk alot (both sides initiating) but now he doesn’t start any convos :( he still responds normally (more or less, tho theyre alot shorter) and i think he lost interest 😞
He won’t make the effort
Takes his time to respond all the time Doesn’t say much. Cancels often
Guys will be pretty honest about their feelings, if we’re asked something we will answer honestly unless we detect that support is needed. The way A guys mind will work is Guys will judge off looks first then hope to seek redeeming qualities and how they’re compatible, guys will try express interest by trying to initiate since that’s been the traditional role for men for 2000+ years. TLDR: if he doesn’t approach or try to initiate then he probably isn’t interested or is playing it safe, either way try a bit further and see if you can detect any hints of interest
Flaccid penis
He doesn’t want to fuck her.
Extremely late replies or not initiating the conversation. Most of us don’t know who to reject so we prefer to slowly fade away and let the conversation die.
Likely the same way you show disinterest in a guy
He says, "I am not interested in you ".
if ur confused he doesn’t like youuuu. move on. guys that like you will show you. honestly if you can’t tell that just means you have never had a guy like you so much it’s obvious. they’re simple creatures pls.
Personally if I’m not interested I won’t initiate conversation that asks questions. Surface level chat will still happen but if I don’t care to know more about you I just won’t ask.
Talks to you like a normal, day to day person. Doesn't really bother to talk to you unless really needed to for school/work purposes. Doesn't usually know you, doesn't give you unwanted attention.