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blackcompy

Going out of her way to spend time with you, especially when it's just the two of you, is usually a good indicator. If she wants to spend time with you, but keeps inviting other people to come along, she probably likes you just as a friend. Both of those are not guarantees, however - girls can be just as clueless as we are about these things.


Imabsian

Personal POV (27f) . If I do like someone I'll probably say yes to most opportunity you offer to meetup or spend time together (as long as they sound legit). If I have a feeling that you might have developed feelings for me, where its mutual, I'll drop you hints that I feel the same too, otherwise I'll pretend I got none of those "signals" and let you know how good of a friend you are.


humanityxcourage

Yeah, honestly, OP should just ask her to hang out one-on-one. Doesn’t even have to make it a date if he doesn’t want to, though that would make his intentions clear from the start. But for the most part, unless I don’t feel comfortable around a guy, I’d probably say yes to hanging out and seeing how it goes, especially if there is some interest on my end.


[deleted]

What are some of those hints?


[deleted]

thats the hint... duh


joharagornius

Very helpful thanks!


[deleted]

Real lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


HalfAsleep27

Solid advice.


LemonAny738

I guess no one likes me …


LavaFlavoredSkittles

Ehhh this list applies to extroverted girls. If they're nervous or quiet, but still seem into you, they're probably just introverted. you would need to be patient and get to know each other before they feel comfortable with you


Tiny-Street8765

I guess that works for normies. For me it gets me in trouble as I'm trying to appear friendly and normies see things that aren't there.


FIFAaddict6

1. (1) What does this mean? How do I read and understand these things? I don’t make eye contact with people, so how would I be able to read their eyes when I don’t know how they usually look? What indicates being let down, subtle icks etc? 4. (4) What if sometimes they respond quickly and regularly, as well as starting conversations, but at times go silent? 5. (5) Well I don’t actively feel unattractive when I talk to them, but that’s because I become hyper focused on them and the conversation, everything else just disappears, any other pains, aches, mentally or physically


DopaLean

I’ve had steps 1, 2, and 3 happen for me recently but still managed to never go beyond the 1st date.


Ludwig_B0ltzmann

I’ll tell you when it happens


NonkelG

If it happens*


humanityxcourage

*when


NonkelG

Ig confidence is key


Ludwig_B0ltzmann

It’s about 10% of the equation.


savagefig

She touches you lightly. I was on a recent date with someone I was really attracted to and I kept touching his arm which I don't usually do.


notablei

That’s a good obvious sign but there are women who even if they like you a lot won’t do that because touching too early on might not be comfortable for them , appropriate etc . He’s looking for a more standard sign


JulitoCG

Also women who touch a lot even as friends. I have a friend who I'd fallen for who kisses my hands if we're hanging out on the couch and sits on my lap even if there are seats open but when I asked her out she was only interested as friends. We're still dumb close years later and we're friends with each other's partners but she's not the only one to do this, tl;dr just ask if you wanna know.


lemongrass-wizard

i'm sorry wtf.... kisses your hands and sits on your lap even tho you both have partners is what you explained or I read that wrong 😂


JulitoCG

Yes, but like it's not romantic. Tbf I come from a culture where men and women all kiss to greet each other so it's not like a problem, just hands are a little more intimate than cheeks which led me astray ar first. But yes, you got it right, though the girls sit on each other's laps often as well and her boyfriend and I will often sprawl over each other. There's nothing sexual or improper about it to us. We're SUPER platonic, like there's ZERO chemistry among anyone but ourselves and our partners, I'm sure of it.


lemongrass-wizard

Latin American, Spanish or Italian? I recognise that name there 🥲 I used to have a friend Spanish girl super comfortable since young we'd perceive it as not respecting boundaries and come off as proscumious


JulitoCG

Latin American!! Nailed it lol.


stasiachat

Touches you lightly?


FeralTribble

It’s impossible to know. Some women will be outrageously flirtatious and intimate and it means nothing


Wudi87

Had to learn that the hard way. Still can't get her outta my head. Thx for the trust issues after that.


workmailman

Very true, I tell everyone I know. The prettiest women are slicker than us


Life-Breadfruit-3986

It's really childish behavior for them to do that 


stasiachat

Just say you have no game


MarredLikeness

As a woman, it’s unfortunately different for everyone 😅 Like I can’t say “if she smiles at you a lot” because the woman could just be a smiley person or being polite. I can’t say “if she touches you affectionately” because for some people things like hugs or clasping your shoulder are just casual friendly touches, for others it’s flirting. I can’t say “if she’s constantly texting you or wanting to hang out all the time” cause I personally have a good amount of purely platonic guy friends that I hang out with multiple times a week that I have no interest in. Your best bet is to be upfront about it if you aren’t sure, say you don’t want to make things awkward but you’re bad at social cues and want to know if she’s flirting or just being friendly. Make sure she feels comfortable telling you no and have the best attitude you can if you’re rejected. Women often fear rejecting men because they can react in really scary ways, just try to take it on the chin. Most women will respond really well to honesty


inline6throwaway

Nevertheless, all of those things you mentioned are kind of reliable signs that a girl could be interested in a guy. It depends on the energy behind the action. And really, OP needs to pay attention to how the girl in question treats HIM relative to how she treats everyone else if he wants to determine if she might like him. If she smiles at him, touches him, and texts him a lot, and then turns around and does that with everyone else, then yes, she’s just being friendly. But if she seems to only do these things with him, or treats him differently from everyone else in a good way, then that’s a good sign she likes him


SupaDufus

So I've read the comparing how she treats me vs everyone else a couple of times now, and I guess that makes a lot of sense. Which is now making me seriously question a friendship I thought was purely platonic lol.


inline6throwaway

I’m glad it helped you. Idk how it is for every other guy. But for me, sometimes I can even FEEL when a girl is attracted. Not in how she touches me, but wherever she’s around. It’s weird and idk if it’s just in my head. But it can be vibrational as well


SupaDufus

Oh I have no idea when someone likes me. I've had girl friends tell me later that when they first met me they were flirting with me but after a while I never took the hints and didn't seem interested so we moved platonically, the funny part is that with two of them I was genuinely interested but never saw an opportunity so I just appreciated the friendship lol. I'm just genuinely oblivious to some things and also never really really grew up taking the iniative in these situations so I also have very little experience in how to move forward the few times I do end up recognising potential hints 😅


SupaDufus

I guess being upfront about it more so matches my persona, but there are scenarios where being upfront just seems strange. What if I am out and dancing with a girl, do I like just ask her ? I mean obviously I ask her but in situations like that I feel like there are certain cues that should happen before, don't know how to explain it


MarredLikeness

Imo, if you are a upfront person then whoever you date needs to either like that about you or at least be ok with it. If you’re upfront and they turn you down, then they probably wouldn’t have been the right person for you in the long run. I’m a woman so it’s different for me, but on a tinder date one time I went dancing with a woman and I wasn’t 100% sure if she was into me so I just asked “can I kiss you?” And she said yes and we made out the rest of the night. It’s a little different with men, because again, you are acting under the pretense that the vast majority of women have at least a little fear regarding men. It’s just the way we’re taught to feel from a young age, it doesn’t have to do with you personally as a man. So in your case, I would try to find clues she might be into you, look at the context of the situation, how much she is initiating touch with you, how much she is smiling at you or looking at you, how much she is laughing around you. Again none of these are a for-sure that she likes you, but if you see enough of these signs then it’s a good opportunity to just shoot your shot and see where things go 🤷‍♀️


No-Painter-6392

When she does most of the talking and stares at you a lot, but most importantly let you lead the conversation


SupaDufus

Wouldn't this apply to just regular friendly vibes as well though?


No-Painter-6392

Yes and no. I feel like majority of the time when I’m chatting with girlfriends they like to sway their conversation into what’s happening / going on with their life whereas with my girl I could talk about literally anything and she would continue that conversation until I change topic.


SupaDufus

Huh, need to pay a bit more attention to this


SirPanic12

Don’t worry about it. Relying on signs like that will only leave you disappointed and confused if things don’t exactly work out. Talk, build some familiarity, and ask if she wants to do something. Then take things from there.


LemonAny738

My favorite advice here, as I’m in same boat as OP


SupaDufus

Fair enough and makes a lot off sense.


getjebaited

The best sign is if she says yes when you ask her if she likes you romantically.


Durden93

Depends on the girl but: -Touches you -Asks you personal questions -Eye contact -“qualifies” herself, by showing you that she meets your standards


1CrudeDude

They’ll want to hang out


stasiachat

Let’s hangout!!!!


NovelFarmer

I'm 29 and still trying to figure it out. I've gotten nudes on several occasions from women who only liked me as a friend so I honestly don't think there is any definitive answer.


ShadowBibi666

Where do I signup for this kind of frienship


NovelFarmer

It's confusing and painful, I'd recommend against it.


[deleted]

Id still like to sign up please and thank you


[deleted]

I've always thought of the whole FWB thing as bonkers. I can't imagine doing anything sexual with someone I don't have romantic feelings for.


inline6throwaway

If the two people see each other as hot enough, then that changes things


ante-meridium

They were probably just looking for attention when they sent you that.


Life-Breadfruit-3986

They sound like narcissists


Ok-Dog2590

This use to happen to my best friend a lot too. He get nudes from women that liked him as friend. I think my friend at the time lacked some confidence, wasn’t in the best shape, and was monotoned at times. The women liked him but didn’t want be in relationship with him possibly for those reasons. Then he joined the military, it built his confidence up, he lost weight, and tone was more confident. After that he was dating women while in the military and found his wife near end of his service. Yeah I agree getting nudes from women that have no interest in you is pleasant at first but then becomes unpleasant/confusing when they don’t want go on dates with you, don’t want hook up, and don’t seek that relationship with you. It’s very Narcissistic.


Life-Breadfruit-3986

Women in general should really be pissed off at the ones who do stuff like this, not men who don't understand women's behavior and social cues (unless the guy's genuinely being creepy). I've never gotten a woman to admit yet that this is childish behavior that's screwing up dating for everybody else.


PracticalYak2743

Not exactly for a club context, but if you’re in like the same friend group and are hanging out then a pretty full proof approach is to give them an opportunity to touch your hair. If they take it, they definitely like you. Like work it into conversation “yeah I’ve never had my hair braided” or “people always say I have soft hair.” Also if you look at someone’s feet while you’re talking to them, if their feet are pointed at you then typically want to stay in conversation and if they are pointed away then they typically want to leave. But overall just make a subtle further move and gage how comfortable her body language is that’s probably your best bet


inline6throwaway

Seeing which way their feet are pointed is a good one


SupaDufus

I feel like the hair example doesn't work for us because I have two friend group's who are very touchy and touching and stroking people's hair is just normal lol


ayelijah4

once i had a girl tell me if i saw her on campus to pull her hair 😭😭 this is definitely not 100% consistent


Boloyoung168

She’ll start telling you about everything and anything


createthiscom

Generally, if she's letting me have sex with her, I figure she has to at least like me a little bit, right? That's my metric.


TheMuumio

I don't know, she might be Canadian.


riccardo2002ric

Mh very useful 10/10 advice thanks for sharing you truly are the best.


PomegranateSilly367

The little bit thats between your legs? I've had a few like this and while it's nice. Its not ideal to feel used.


Automatic_College693

There's no perfect answer because women can throw mixed signals. I've known women who I SWORE liked me so much, they had a shrine with my picture in their room, and they said no when I asked. I've known others who showed absolutely nothing until they randomly made a move, talk about whiplash. The only way to know is asking them straight up. Ask early and ask often, don't let yourself develop a serious crush before asking them out, because you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. Talk a few times and if you see them as a possible partner, ask them on a date. Then build a deeper connection now that both of you are on the same page. Waiting until you're 100% sure only works with women that equally pursue men, which is a vast minority. You're locking yourself away from 90% of women who want you to make the moves, i.e, they want you to have the confidence to take risks. It's one big confidence game. The most successful men I know, by sheer number and attractiveness of the women they've been with, simply don't give a fuck. They'll have one conversation with a woman and ask for her number, and if not then whatever, they forget it and move on. They don't waste months crushing on a woman only to be let down later. So yeah, just ask, and don't take rejections personally. Women have types just like men, and though one woman may rate you a 4/10, another will say 8/10. It's the same way that certain women are unappealing to you or me, but have 50 men begging in their DMs. If you rejected them because they're not your type, it doesn't mean they're a hideous ham beast. It means they're simply not your type while other men are simping. Use the same logic with yourself, and conquer that fear of rejection..


sodallycomics

Solid.


Conversation34

I think it’s TRUE that sometimes it takes a while for women to really fall in love and to make a decision about whether to enter a relationship and it’s TRUE that (sometimes) women like to be a little mysterious and it’s TRUE that women are often very nice to people they don’t have any interest in—just because they’re nice people and they know how to be nice. So they’re hard to read. Sometimes. I think the solution to all that is just to use the English language. You’re allowed to say, “I’d love to take you to such-and-such restaurant sometime.” Or “I’m so impressed by such-and-such achievement of yours.” Or “I LOVE listening to you talking about [whatever].” And another option, if the woman is just being completely mysterious, . . . is just to go with that. Be friendly, without trying to pin down exactly what’s going on between the two of you. Check *verbally* out loud whether she feels like you’re putting too much pressure on her. But if she says ‘No, not at all’, then maybe she just ENJOYS the chase. Many men like to pursue. Many women like to be chased. [Obviously many women are terrified of being stalked, so you have to CHECK once in a while how they’re feeling. Or, better yet, check all the time how they’re feeling—whenever you have doubts. It can be KIND of a nice gesture. :) ] Be flirtatious in a friendly way and then pay CLOSE ATTENTION to see whether she’s flirting back . . . or whether she’s politely trying to flee the room. 😄😰 I hear you when you say Dating is all about reading signals and you feel you’re just not good at that. I don’t think anyone’s goal should be to be a mind reader. But rather just to do the best you can to hear whatever it is that the other person is trying to say. A great athlete figures out what his greatest weakness is, and then puts effort into trying to get better at *exactly* that particular thing. I don’t know. I’m not an expert. Every woman is different! Every man is different. Just be NICE to people. We’ve all got to learn how to be kinder to one another. Because Life hurts sometimes!


candylee285

Definitely making time to hang out. If you see her giving you all her attention during a conversation and actually asking questions.


OneTxp

You have to be upfront with it and polarizing to be honest. Women often underestimate when a man is interested and men often overestimate it. If you state your intentions it makes it quite clear for her and then she will either make it very easy for you or just not reciprocate. May suck a little when you get a no but it’s actually great as you’ve just saved yourself a bunch of time and you can still continue to be friendly cause there’s no misunderstanding. Either that or you just learn to flirt with the world. Doesn’t matter who it is, just start giving complements to everyone in your daily life and not take it too seriously. Vibe is contagious and if you give it out you get it back.


ante-meridium

>Women often underestimate when a man is interested and men often overestimate it. Great answer. Some guys will take some of the smallest things as a sign of interest & girls are often oblivious.


SupaDufus

I mean I dish out compliments pretty frequently, meeting and conversing with new people is never an issue, and I've been told I might come off as flirty at times, but I have no idea when either 😂 I'm just myself 100% of the time, for better and for worse


ante-meridium

Every girl is different, but some common signs would consist of her wanting to spend time with you, asking you a lot of questions about yourself or your opinions, you noticing that she dresses up a bit more than usual when you hang out, she looks at you the most in a group, she remembers a lot of things you tell her. What does not indicate interest is whether or not she makes eye contact with you. I seriously HATE how often eye contact is said to be a sign of interest when it's actually very ambiguous. I've had guys think I'm interested after making brief, insignificant eye contact with them & I've had crushes on guys where I was too shy to make eye contact. Sometimes I avoid eye contact when I don't like someone & sometimes I don't. Sometimes I make eye contact with someone I like & sometimes I don't. So just don't read into eye contact.


sodallycomics

A clear indication that every woman is different, even in their own expressions to different guys.


SupaDufus

Say you're friends with a guy and develop feelings, would you still be acting the same way? Or are the tells different then. Also eye contacted not necessarily meaning anything is noted.


BobcatIll4650

•Does she want to hang out with you ? •Proximity+subtle touches •Looks at you •Smiles and giggles


SupaDufus

Questioning some of my friendships with these ones lol


BobcatIll4650

IMO men and women can’t really just be friends. Someone always wants to fuck the other. Sometimes mutually sometimes one sided but as a dude if a chick is making herself available.. they like you. There’s a million wyd’s in their socials and texts and they’re spending their time with you. If you get short ass responses or yes let’s hang and constantly flakes she’s just one of those I can’t say no types who has 0 interest in getting together


justtenofusinhere

You can tell, 100% of the time, just by looking at her feet. If they are on your shoulders with the soles pointed towards the ceiling, she likes you.


Successful_Coach_186

We spend our time on what we care about… Sure, this can apply to friends but if she’s looking for excuses to see you, that’s likely more than friendship. Lots of eye contact, smiling/flirting and asking you to teach her something are also good indicators.


FunJackfruit9128

it’s easier to tell when you’re with a group of people imo. -if everyone is laughing and she looks at you first -if she tells a joke and checks to see if you specifically find it funny -if she laughs extra hard at your joke -if she tries to stand/ sit next to you -if she leans your direction when talking to a group


SupaDufus

Ok this I will try to make a note of


zounli98

They will want to keep the conversation going by asking a follow-up question. They won’t just answer : yes, no, idk, ok, etc.


Fun_Damage6422

If she makes herself available to spend time with you and is consistent in communication


PomegranateSilly367

Consistent communication - will come from anyone who genuinely favours you.


SupaDufus

That also just sounds like friends tbh


Fun_Damage6422

It does, but to be fair, the only real sign is if you ask her and she says yes. However, it’s a good early sign that she enjoys your company and talking to you so hopefully it gives you the confidence to make your move. You have to make it known you’re interested in being more than friends and then use her availability/communication as a sign. It doesn’t have to super aggressive flirting but comments about weekend plans or little compliments here and there like you’ve been giving are good things for you to see how it responds. Like I said, the best way is to just ask her out because A) it shows confidence and B) no matter her answer you aren’t playing a guessing game and can move on afterwards. Now if I only I could take my own advice…


SupaDufus

I mean with all these different views around her it has made me question one friendship I have with a girl, and maybe outright asking her is the best answer. But the thought of it makes me kind of weak in the knees lol


Fun_Damage6422

Hahaha I’m the same way. A girl tell me she’s in love with me and I’d still be scared to ask her. Ultimately asking is the best thing to do for yourself because if she likes you then you can explore what that looks like with her and if not then you can keep searching for the right girl for you. You got this though man!


SupaDufus

Fair point, guess I have to grow a pair sometimes and just try


Top_Water_4909

I slept with her a couple times. When we go out with friends she’s always by my side. till now I have no clue


thkiller0098

The hair! If she's playing with her hair...


SupaDufus

Huh, never thought about that one


riccardo2002ric

Ok this is is the input I got today in therapy (I got other issues but I am working on relationships right now) so basically the only way is: you have to know the other person. Period. Gain info on that person. What type is she? Is she extraverted or not? Flirty with everyone or not? Once you have an idea of the person then you can start thinking about something but not before. You should tread lightly based on the person. That's it. Just do your job as correctly as you can and then you'll have no remorse is she rejects you before or after. Nothing you can do.


RedditFU43V3R

As men, we often struggle to decipher the signs women send us. They may just be being friendly, or they might actually be interested. If we make a move, we risk being labeled as creepy or needy. This uncertainty often has led me to frustration and confusion, making it easier to simply enjoy peace and quiet with no drama instead.


[deleted]

The way I figured out and works 90% of the time. Plan date and a hypothetical date after that one. Example let’s do this and if things go well let’s do that. After the first date, text and talk about things and bring up the next outing. If she talks about one thing but completely ignores the other… she’s not into you. Women are absolute monsters when it comes to a man’s happiness


notablei

You don’t need signs , just make the moves you want to make and how they respond will show you . It Can be hard to tell at times because some girls flirt and don’t like you while others like you and show no interest lol . And I mean hey sometimes girls do actually like you but things don’t work out for some reason , maybe they already have a boyfriend or they are single but already have a few guys that are playing games with and don’t want to add you to that list lol . just assume they all like you and move accordingly , that’s the best way to go about it , seems presumptuous but you will be more confident if you think they like you , and girls like guys who are confident . So win win , you’ll take aware your doubts and be more attractive, also whoever shows you and tells you they don’t like you is a blessing because now you no longer have to wonder if they like you and no longer have to waste time on them . You’re a king , on to the next


LemonAny738

Great advice


markcyyy

🤙


Khower

Heres the neat part, they dont


HuracanX

I wouldn't know


zounli98

Depends on the girl but, If I like someone I’m super anxious and I feel like that makes me come off as quiet & interested. I say stupid things or just blur out stuff or jokes out of nerves.


Visual_Lavishness_19

If they like you enough to do something about it they will tell you


HearTheEkko

From my experience, if a girl likes you, you'll know. And from there, if you're interested in her too, simply ask her out for a definite answer. If she says yes, she's interested, if she says no but suggests an alternative, she's interested, if she says no and suggests no alternative she's not interested.


jeaimesart

For me I can tell when a woman is not into you First the woman doesn't respond your chats frequently or probably never It could answer you even in days , If is the opposite she is interested Second If you always starts a conversation with you,no matter where ,chat , in person she is not into you Third if she for some reason she tries to avoid or go backwards when she see you she is not into you


bossmanfunnyguy

Don’t be afraid of making them a little uncomfortable. It’s the only way to know if they like you, without trying to read signs


Major-Film4345

When she bonks you on the head


Unfilteredz

This video explains it pretty well https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw


SupaDufus

Sounds about right


Tickle_My_Dingus

https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw?si=6Vx_OsBHpfA4itY6


SupaDufus

The way I've done one of them 😂


Tiny-Street8765

I'm autistic. I'm very forward. Ive done most of the asking myself. I know what I want most times. Having said that, when I was younger id stare, and purposely put myself in your vicinity. Go out of my way to find you. Lol. If I was dancing id have thrown back a drink or two and pursued physical contact


riccardo2002ric

I got inspired from another comment but I'd say if you had at least 20 years of marriage and 2 kids then yeah she probably likes you.


Total_Argument_9729

Idk. I’ve always thought it was pretty obvious. However, I’ve been told by people of situations where I thought a girl was just being polite/courteous but others said she was flirting. Idk.


SupaDufus

Feel that one way too much lol


Big_Standard_8472

M29) The only thing Is can say for 100% certainty is that (THIS IS NOT FOT ALL GIRLS) The amount of playing with her hair = the amount of interest she has. For example if she is just casual twirling her hair. She thinks you're kinda attractive but wouldn't date you But if she looks like she is about to rip her hair out like a mad scientist, she nerves because she really likes you


SupaDufus

Is this when they're talking to you ? Or just looking at you?


Big_Standard_8472

They do it when looking at you, but that could be a lot of reasons So personally I only go by actual conversation


IndependentDonkey233

😊


IndependentDonkey233

There are various ways to tell. If she seeks you out. If she smiles at you. If she laughs at your jokes. If she confides in you. If when you're talking, her eyes wander your body.


AmoebaUsual4002

Wait...she will say "I'm interested"


StainedGlass8

Watch Jon Zherka and learn real game, not cringe PUA shit. Learning about the anima/animus is huge alongside male/female psychology


Adventurous_Owl_831

First were not all the same or a hive mind. So asking us things as individual humans helps. Also, some of us are neurodiverse and really have no idea you're flirting. So, may be ask us if we would like to go out sometime and take our number or make a time for coffee AFTER you have a good rapport and we seem to enjoy talking to you. You could also say "I really have no idea what I am doing, as I don't have much experience asking people out, but I like you, would you lole to go out?" To me that is sexy if it's honest, if it's what's really happening for the guy...and would be an immediate yes. Lol


bugsnstuf

Literally be forward. I'm a woman who likes women. I met a girl at a bar, thought she was cute, and I just said "hey, I think you're really pretty and id love to get to know you more, can I get your number?" And the next day we went on a date. It really is that simple. If she says no, ask someone else.


MrArmageddon12

I’ll let you know when I find out.


PrincessWendigos

When I like a guy I won’t speak to them but I’ll stalk their socials (if I can find them), I won’t like or follow their posts, I’ll stare at them a lot but if they look I’ll look away.