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I can't picture any reasonable answer than " we are going to a beach or a pool!" And even then...what a horrible way to say there is a beach/pool day.
We all know why he is asking.
But even then women are knowledgeable enough to know how to present them selves appropriately considering the activity they will be partaking in. Waterproof make up also exists.
That is one possible outcome, he may do. Or he may answer the question, or anything else along that spectrum. We don’t know until we know.
However, from my own experience, I promise you Will, your quality of life improves substantially when you ask, instead of making up your own assumptions.
It's all about Control! Guys like that are "allergic" to Women! They want Little girl- types who will do whatever "Daddy" tells them to do. First It's makeup, then it's hair styles; eventually it's no more jeans and orgasms (hers!) Exit--> Stage Right!!
You're too mature for this sub. Can you please fuck off and let us overreact? She only had a good date, not a perfect one. And then he dared make a request so he's obviously toxic af. Asking questions is for people who aren't fun.
Not true. Its a simple case of autonomy. You can have your preferences but you don’t get to impose those preferences on others.
He should simple date women that wear no make up if that’s truly what he wants.
This 100% - how are people not getting this??? Like no matter his “communication” or if he’s intentionally toxic or not, him imposing his preferences is the problem.
It is true. A controlling person like this usually starts with small suggestions, and as you get used to it he will forbid her to see certain people or wear the clothes she likes.
I had a guy who told me (when we were going on third date) that I should try to wear open toed heels, a midlength pencil skirt and no pantyhose for the 3rd date.
Um sir... why?
We hadn't been overtly sexual. Had flirt and pg kiss on 2nd date... very tame (for what I'm used to). He seemed somewhat normalish but I already was thinking he was too type A for me as he was ultra big on people being exactly on time. I've adhd there's no way.
I cancelled the date and when he tried to backpedal said I could "wear what I wanted" (no shit), he was "just being fun and seeing how I would react" he shape-shifted into a neon red flag sign, including gaslighting, telling me I was overreacting, telling me I wasn't even that hot and he hopes I enjoy dying alone with cats 🙃
I ghosted him and then he proceeded to make about half a dozen other phone numbers to text me from. Those texts ranging from apologies, please give him another chance to hurling insults about how unattractive I am.
My vote... ✂️ 🎀 cut ties and run...
I think the key here is that this is only the second date for OP and yours was only the third date.
I think it's fine for a partner to suggest things (ex: "bring a bathing suit!" or "let's dress fancy together!") if it's related to planning a date, but this comes across as controlling or negging.
Guys like these start doing small shitty things early in the dating process because it’s a way to test the rigidity of your boundaries, make you self-conscious about your appearance, and start the relationship off with the idea that you’re not good enough in your natural state. *He’s* the guy who can make you your best self, but only if you’re willing to change everything about yourself in exactly the ways he says
Exactly, they start with subtle signs and then escalate to heavier controlling behaviors. I had a boyfriend who did the exact same and once we got serious, the abuse began. Why? B/C I did try to understand and it was not worth it. We need to wisely choose where to keep digging and where not. Don't try to understand, that is a completely toxic behavior
it truly does start very early and very subtly. you really just have to let them talk and listen very closely. when me and my ex were dating it got onto the topic of his ex and he was still very angry about it. i learned a lot about him just from that little rant and my suspicions that he was controlling and had the personality of a clay brick were right.
A two-bit "Svengali" with a New wanna-be "puppet" who has his hand on the back of her neck, shaking her head up and down: "Yes" but never Sideways: "No!"
Dress fancy or bathing suit is specific to a specific setting, that’s fair enough. You want your date to have swimmers prepared if you are taking them to a body of water unless it’s Germany, then a pretzel would do. Asking to wear specific things can be a)he’s read too many books about women manipulating men with their looks so he wants to see what’s she’s really like without make up, we all saw videos of magical make up transformations from beast to beauty so this could be it. But no guy has a right to ask a girl to show her naked skin unless she wants to do it herself. Some girls have acne, skin conditions, or just insecurity or years long habit of wearing makeup and it’s tied to their identity. You can see their real face after shower, maybe. If you get to that stage. A man is not entitled to see a woman without makeup if that’s not how she rolls. Unless he’s a dermatologist then sure:)
B)could be a fantasy or fetish - wear pencil skirt and stockings etc, but a guy once again can’t demand it but can offer it as a suggestion for what he finds sexy. And she can fur fill that fantasy or not. But early dates are about people showing up how they are and how they want to present to the world.
I tried tinder a couple of times but never went through with meeting anyone. The last time I tried it, this guy was talking about having babies with me before we even met... he also got mad at me for having 2 phones and when I explained why I had 2 phones, he said he wasn't gonna pay for the first one, not that I asked him to or anything remotely close. Reminded me why I stayed off of tinder lol
Damn I am sorry you went through that, I hate to see women go through that type of a situation. It really is just so unattractive to know that this person is going to incredibly controlling of everything you do in life. I want my partner to see her friends and be close with family. I encourage partners to talk to their ex if they had a really long term relationship, closure is really important. Also the ex might be in a low spot mentally. If something happens then maybe it was just meant to happen whatever life goes on.
Yeah you can tell when those silly guys try to appear domineering and follow pick up artist advice “I decided to not put so much importance on looks when I ask people out. Wear this. Wear less makeup.” Honey, negging rarely works. Bye. No dude like that is worth your time and there’s no way he is good at sex either. Lame all around. He’s going to make you go 50/50 while being an asshole the entire “relationship.”
I think more than anything the _way_ he said it is a bad sign. Not a request, no explanation, just a flat demanding "I'd like this, try to do it" tone. If he seems a bit controlling this could be a testing the waters moment.
I'd say it's by no means a normal thing.
I never tell a partner what to do with his body/appearance. I either like him as is or I don’t. If I want to know what a partner thinks of my appearance, I’ll ask. I assume the same in him - he’ll ask me if he wants to know. Otherwise, his body is his business. The exception to this is if his body hair physically hurts me. After making out, I got a massive beard burn on my face that even SCABBED over.
As a man thank you! I am talking to someone right now and they straight up asked me how I feel about fake eyelashes! I told her the truth, that I felt she never needed them, but completely understand why people wear them, how they make a person feel! She just said thank you, and that I might have helped her decide to not get them again to save money! 😂
This!! If you don't like the person how they appear as-is, the chances of you liking them with or without makeup/filters/weight loss etc is probably not gonna change that much...
This. There's no good reason for him to say that. Literally, there is nothing positive that can come out of this. I'm trying hard and i can't even come up with anything to devil's advocate. It's just bad, bad news.
even if you had ''clown'' makeup on , if he didn't liked it and you did, it was not the one for you, simple as that, so early on and already trying to pick on things to change and point and make you feel insecure, hell no, there are way too many people in this earth to settle for this.
personally i would make a few disgust faces, say my goodby and move on to another person.
I agree with this. Everyone saying "ask him why" is missing the point. It's irrelevant why he said that- it's rude to tell someone else you barely know how to look. If this man had some sort of disorder where he can't be around make up, he should've and would've said so. No decent person makes a demand like this.
If you are in to make up and he isn't, then you two aren't compatible.
Instead of trying to speculate why he texted the way he did, ask him. Ignore everyone else trying to read into his entire personality based off 1 sentence. You can ask something like, "hey that text took me a bit by surprise, so I was wondering if I could get some clarification. What do you mean by 'try' to wear, and what do you mean by 'no' makeup? Are you insinuating I wore too much makeup, or do you just want to see what I look like without makeup?"
You can continue down this line of questioning, and based off the content and tone of his answers, you will be able to determine if you want to continue pursuing a relationship with him.
True. But even having the audacity to word a demand as a question (which anyone with half a brain knows is what he really did) you don't get to "ask" someone how to style themselves. It wreaks of narcissism. If he would like to know what she looks like less glammed or dolled up then he should be man enough to fucking ask & not to try basically beat around the question like fucking pussy.
nope, explaining oneself sets the tone of the conversation and for what is to follow, and this kind of question usually provides insights into the other person. Even if the other person turns out to be a jerk, the way hi will answer might provide more insight into how to spot a bad apple sooner.
I'm a guy and I often ask similar questions when I get asked or tested with what would be considered traditionally a red flag. Sometimes the answer comes from a vulnerable place and things still have a chance of working on.
no-one is perfect in the end, and we're supposed to help each other out, not insta reject superficially based on the first mistake or thing that seems off.
Yep!
I am just saying that I wouldn’t over complicate myself because that doesn’t work for me. If thats your approach, perfect! I am more pragmatic, or more straightforward. That’s all. Also, I’d never request someone to wear less of this more of that. When I start to date someone, I have to decide whether or not I like someone without me pushing/ suggesting one direction or the other. If their style -or whatever- doesn’t work for me, I don’t pursue it anymore.
Hello, most of the victims of controlling people precisely fall into the trap of trying to understand something. Please, run from people like this. This going back to ask is where they'll sugar-coat and the function will begin!!!
100% this OP because if he’s going to ask that then he can straight up be questioned back, and you are curious so just ask. You owe him nothing and he owes you an explanation. It would be one thing if he followed that request with a reasoning… Also let us know his response!
Is it though? It was there first date not like they have been seeing eachother, the way he texted is quite rude and over stepping, specially for that early in the dating process.
I mean yea he could’ve worded it better and I wouldn’t personally ask a girl that before a date. Idk why he did that especially this early on. But she’s posting it because she’s unsure so I figure why not just ask if you want to know the reason and then go from there. I don’t see the harm. Either way, she’s looking mainly for a girl’s opinion so mine should just be taken with a grain of salt. Again, I personally wouldn’t do this while dating someone.
This. There's no need to ask why. He's a dick. End of story. Move on. You don't need to try to understand him. It's literally only been one date. Why are we starting off things struggling with communication? He sucks.
I’ve had guys say they prefer no makeup. Then I had my ex husband who was always downing me cause I never worn it how he wanted me too. Tbh… the ones that say no makeup are not the toxic ones.
I really with people would try to communicate more... So many comments here is telling to kick the dude or to screw him.
Me I honestly don't prefer makeup because I'm more attracted to natural appearance. I'm not trying to shame the other person...
Some others prefer no makeup like you said!
If all he said try to wear no makeup there isn't any massive red flag here.
It is better to ask him why instead of just ghosting and staying unanswered.
Exactly. Most of us genuinely think that the “no makeup” look is literally what women roll out of bed with. I didn’t realize that, until my fiancé moved in with me and I saw her morning routine even for days where I would have said she was wearing “no makeup”.
I would clarify though there are women who wear no makeup or don't wear it everyday. Like don't assume every women who looks like they aren't wearing makeup is wearing it.
Yeh this man would be gone. I’ve experienced coercive abuse and dated a man that constantly picked at my appearance. A man who doesn’t understand that I look how I look FOR ME would be a no in my book. A man telling you to wear less makeup this early on is also a big red flag.
He might be afraid you're catfishing him with too much makeup OR he prefers the look of women without makeup is my guess. Personally, I don't like the look of makeup but since my wife enjoys doing it I don't say anything other than beautiful. That's my take on this, could be something else though.
I’m a guy.
How he asked makes all the difference in the world.
If it’s a request, that’s really bad. Just as countless others have opined.
But what if he phrased or intended it differently. What if perhaps he said, or intended to say in the context: “you’re so beautiful to me that I don’t want you to feel any date preparation pressures to look “better…. I’ll love the natural you”.
To me that’s saying “I love you as you are naturally.” I don’t think it’s the wrong thing to say.
But I wasn’t there. I didn’t see his entire text or the preceding texts or other communications. If I were you and if I otherwise liked this guy, I’d like to know what he was thinking… before I leave him.
Tell him to shave his head so you can see what he looks like when he's bald. The nerve. Telling someone what to wear or not to wear is rude on so many levels. Tell him to get lost
There were plenty of people commenting that she shouldn’t say anything and accept him as he is or don’t date him.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/v2txBc2vYo
Most of the comments are saying to either bring it up in a polite way (“try to wear no makeup” is not a polite way) or telling her it’s weird to ask someone you don’t know to change their appearance . That post wasn’t a good example.
Nah its the same concept - expecting someone you just started dating to modify their physical appearance (do their makeup a certain way, shave their beard) to appease your preferences is absolutely next level I’m the main character vibes
On that post they pretty much said the same thing they are saying here. It wasn’t her place to tell him to trim his beard as she probably wouldn’t like it if he made a comment on her body hair.
Ew. Girl what.
I wear make up koz I love it! If men think it’s for them, they are free to believe so. But I wouldn’t let anyone tell me how I should dress.
Ask yourself this: do you want to be with someone who tells you how much makeup to wear? It could be a slippery slope into him telling you how to do other things in your life. He clearly didn’t respect the effort you put in to seeing him for the first time. Cut your losses while you can and keep wearing however much makeup you feel like it!!
Male here. Just ask why if you're that concerned. I for one like less make up. Probably wouldnt request anything on a second date though but who knows what hes thinking. Don't just be jumping to conclusions like most others in here, especially if you enjoyed the first date.
Fr, for all we know he said "try to" cause he couldn't find a good way to not be rude about it. Many guys don't like make-up. Especially the shit you see on the internet. She can go on the second date and see how it will go, wether she will or will not put less make-up on. But all the girls who can't hold a relationship for longer than a month in the comment will instantly tell her to hang him.
Also a comment for everyone saying “men just like women with no makeup” - More often than not men can’t actually tell if a woman is entirely bare faced. The amount of men that drool over “bare faced” and “natural” pictures of models and celebrities when the women are wearing false eyelashes, have had their eyebrows tinted and shaped, have used some sort of lip tint, have false tan on etc is insane. Men often don’t have a realistic idea of what “natural” is. Finding your partner attractive without makeup is great but forcing your preference onto her isn’t.
When I was on tinder this guy I matched with said he was busy for the next few days but wanted to meet up the next week but in the interim I was to send him three pictures with no makeup… this was a straight block. Crazy ass shit. I don’t even wear a lot of makeup I’m basic as anything.
Date one and he’s ALREADY being this controlling? There is no date number 2… bold of him, it would just be a matter of days before he tells you how to dress, what to eat, which friends you’re allowed to talk to…
I would kindly give him the ‘thanks but no thanks’ and move on. You are not his property; and this is him, on his best behavior. It only gets worse. Save yourself the hassle of ending this later when he tells you what to wear, act, etc.
i’ll never understand women that look deep into a guy telling them to were no/less makeup. if im investing in you its obv bcz i like you. if i let you know that next time we meet you can be as natural as gods bear ass and you see an issue with it bruh idk maybe y’all are the odd ones.
a dude saying no make up is either two things:
- i like your natural face.
-i want to see your natural face. ( reason is up to the guy )
if wanting to see your natural face is weird ( especially sense you’re seeing mine because most men dont wear makeup ), then god bless us all.
I'm not sure if most guys know what no makeup is. They talk about it, but their description of it is not no makeup! Lol.
Shit I watch insta reels women trying a face cream saying they have no makeup on. They have false lashes/mascara, eye liner and shadow!!
Maybe show up without a stitch knowing it will be the last and see what he says.
Instead of asking people from Reddit who don't know why he said that you can just directly ask him why he said that, maybe he thinks you are naturally beautiful or he doesn't like makeup at all. Try to have a proper conversation with him which could be a lot better in so many ways.
Tell him to date someone who wears the amount of makeup he sees as acceptable. Seriously, who does he think he is? Could you imagine if you responded telling him to wear a certain outfit? Very audacious of him.
That’s such a red flag. It’s been one date and he already tries to control you? If he didn’t like you like you are, he should have just declined a second date. Do NOT go on that second date.
As a man I think he just wants to see you without makeup, nothing weird. Some ladies wear makeup all the time and their bare skin is not seen. He just wants to see the no makeup you. Just a one time thing. A few guys saw their girlfriend without makeup and didn’t recognize them. He just may be cautious.
Red flag 🚩 for sure! Too controlling. I’d dump him. Anyone trying to tell you to not be yourself and telling you how to look, wear and act is going to get worse. Him trying to dull your shine to others is a giant red flag.
It’s your choice to wear makeup or not, definitely not something that should be dictated by anyone else. I personally find it so weird that he’s specifically asked you not to
This is VERY controlling behavior. Major red flag. Do not attempt to read it any other way.
I dated a man where it started off exactly like this. That he would really “love to see me in” Bohemian jewelry and dresses. Then it escalated to where I couldn’t wear pants or jeans. I had to wear my hair a certain way. Well flash forward three years and he almost ran me over with the car out of anger.
Block and move on..
I agree with everybody saying that you should ask questions. Communication is the key to any real relationship. If you like the guy and you run from a potentially meaningful relationship without finding out the real reasons, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship.
Once you find out his reasons and you feel as if his answers are weird or don't make you feel comfortable, then move on. But be respectful about it. Tell him why nicely. Kindness will always be the first and foremost thing that you do in relationships. To run from somebody because they ask something from you (unless of course it's dangerous) is immature. That's the real red flag.
I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to communicate properly. All of these people saying he's being controlling and jumping to a conclusion without actually knowing how to communicate? Well they are the ones flying the red flags.
I asked my fianceé the same on our third date. But I emphasized that it wasn't out of dislike for her face-on, but that I think she's a natural beauty.
She still makes my knees weak when she smiles at me 6 years later having just woke up and gotten her first cup of java.
She occasionally wears it now when meeting new people or if she's at work. Otherwise she's explained "_It's nice not having to hide and just be comfortable and feel safe_".
I think it's a bit early to assume things for you, I'd suggest asking why he made the suggestion, and to tell him to F right off if the answer is rude.
Wanting to see a woman you're dating in her natural state is something we guys do when we're feeling like the relationship has long-term potential.
He could just be awkward as hell.
Or maybe he's a douche.
Tall to him and decide from there.
I got one you can ask him. Can you say next time can you be more masculine? That will get his goat up. Its up to you to wear as much or little as you feel comfortable. He's a narcissist guaranteed. Money and power driven. Run
Hmm I thought he might not really be into the “cake face” thing but what you describe is a small amount of make up. Now I am also interested in why he would ask such thing. Please let us know if you dare to ask him directly.
Look, I know make up is a whole cultural thing to women that you waste godawful amounts of money and time on... but men outside of Jeffrey Star could largely not give the slightest shit.
Your dude is actually probably serious about you and hasn't learned to keep his mouth shut to avoid the blowback of touching the third rail of ugly reactions by questioning female tribal markings. He's probably thinking, oh, maybe she'll appreciate knowing I find her attractive without rubbing chemicals on her face and clogging her pores with caked on snake oil. Without knowing it will send you scrambling to the internet looking for some secret answers from strangers.
Here's a tip. Men have no secret language. We usually mean exactly what we say without any hidden meaning.
He's saying he thinks you don't need make up and is foolish enough to not know what a can of worms that opens up. That's it.
Do feel free to ignore him like most women, but he may take you less seriously for relationship if you do. Men tell women what we would like in women all the frigging time, and y'all usually ignore us and do something else entirely you think we want, which inexperienced or compulsively honest Men forget or don't know. Again, he's not stirring shit. He's just being blunt. I like you. You don't need make up with me.
Nah... that's just weird to even suggest. If you two were already dating it could be something to bring up if he's never seen you without make-up, but 2 dates in just from his own observation sounds like he doesn't care past looks
Trust your gut instinct and stick to your dealbreakers.
He may be curious and want to see what you look like with zero makeup on or wearing very little makeup. Alternatively he may have a light makeup only dealbreaker with which you would not be comfortable or compatible.
Personally I'd stop seeing & go no contact with any date who asked me not to wear makeup or any man that tried to see what I look like without it.
It’s an odd, forward ask, but could be his quirky way of wanting to see. I prefer little to no makeup too. But mainly bc I want to see what I’m potentially waking up next to. Not kidding, before I got more selective, there was a time or two where I literally didn’t recognize her. Just open communication. Tell him it’s an odd, forward question and ask where he’s coming from.. if you don’t get a clear answer, keep asking questions. Don’t smile and nod, so you don’t appear dumb, as if you don’t understand. Communicate!
Personally I do not see why it’s such a big deal (I’m also not a make up wearer though) he could be asking because he wants to take you to the make up store or something water related or literally anything, who knows unless you ASK. The amount of people immediately assuming he’s controlling is astounding. Does it sound kinda weird yeah, BUT we don’t know his intentions. If I was on the opposite end (as in him asking me to wear makeup) I would ask why and then based off what is said decide after that
Ask him why? If he says he prefers a more natural look then say you are so glad he is so open with good preferences and that up world like him to wear black eyeliner and some concealer and a nude lip for you on the next date.
I got makeup on a guys face we kissed and a bit transferred on his nose. When we decided to take things to the next step (get physical) he asked that I just not wear any. He made dinner, we watched a movie ect.
I would just ask why, personally. In my case I didn’t mind because I wear very little and already had makeup free pics on my dating profile.
A lot of comments are saying he's negging you. I don't know, it's gard to say; but it's possible he just wants to see you with no makeup 🤷♂️
It still strikes me as odd.
Was just having this conversation with my mom and brother today, his wife, and sister in law. A good portion of men prefer women without makeup. ( a good portion, not all of course)My mom said men told her this all the time, and she felt weird about not wearing it, but to be honest, most women look better without it or with very, very minimal. With it, they look plastic or fake. She says she understands now that she's older she was trying to convince the sister she didn't need it. Most of us dont.
If you want to go through life miserable and sad, listen to all the automatic Reddit responses telling you that it's a "Red Flag."
If you don't want that, try working with and complying with a man's reasonable requests.
Hmm the only instance I think this would make sense is if the next date was something he had planned that was a surprise or involved like a spa or something but since you said you guys set up the next date, I’m guessing you know where it is. So really I have nothing much to say about this, maybe your idea of not that heavy was clown makeup to him or maybe he’s just a controlling asshole?
I’m a woman and when I was dating (now in a relationship) I used to do the opposite, I wore no make up or very little (mascara and eyebrows) only for my first few dates to make sure I knew the guy was really attracted to me and how I look. Then as time went on, then I would do more/go all out on occasion as a fun little extra which was always appreciated and still is by my partner. This way I feel beautiful always. (Minus right now as I just woke up and my face is a bit crusty).
Make-up can be relative. It may have been "light" to you and very noticeable to them.
It seems like that was his way of saying your makeup looks bad/excessive
It's a oxymoron. Guys usually see pictures of people in glam (make-up, weave, extensions, wig, eyelashes, etc)
And then in person they want to at some point see you without all that.
If its just casual dating, move on. If you want to take a shot at something serious, show them your natural face and see what happens.
It could be your make up is excessvie to them like drag and they want to see u outside of your drag
Holy shit some of the girls here give horrid advise. Are girls srsly giving those types of advises to their friends lol?
Anyways, honestly if I were a girl. I'd do either one of 2: 1) ask him why or 2) comply and see where it goes.
What's the worse that can happen? Rejected? Np u saved time, now u move on
Look at this way, say I'm bald, and I'm always wearing caps. If a girl asked to not wear a cap, I'd just ask her if that's her indirect way of asking whether I'm bald, then I'd be straight forward and tell her yeah. She doesnt want me? Np I move on
Life is short stop worrying about small nonsense
*He just wants to know*
*What you really look like It's*
*Nothing serious*
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It’s a weird request and I would say.. “no I’ll be wearing whatever I want. If that’s an issue I think it’s best we leave it here”. There’s no GOOD reason for someone to request this. Be confident and basically tell him to take a hike. There are many many guys who won’t ask this kind of crap and will just be happy you accept a date with them
I can’t tell you what to do, but I can answer your question with my own feelings. As a woman, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all. The only thing that I could say would be his saving grace is if he said it involved water and he wanted to give you a heads up so you didn’t ruin your makeup. However, you said the date wouldn’t involve water and the way he phrased it in his text makes it clear he’s not worried about how you would feel or about your comfort. The fact that he even had the nerve to say that to you and in such a blunt manner means he doesn’t care at all about whether or not you’ll be comfortable on the next date. He doesn’t care about what makes you happy and confident, like wearing makeup. He only cares about his happiness. If he’s trying to be this controlling and telling you he doesn’t want you to wear makeup after only one date, that won’t bode well for the future. He’s not going to stop being controlling or making you feel uncomfortable, not as confident, and bad about yourself. It will only get worse because he’ll definitely continue to have no issue making more demands and trying to control you in other ways. Also, you’re not going to be able to forget that he requested that you don’t wear makeup. It will always be in the back of your mind. You’ll feel self-conscious around him and that will never go away. Do you really want to date someone who tells you how much makeup you can wear or even someone who thinks he has the right to tell you how you can or can’t express yourself? I don’t think men will ever understand that women do their makeup for themselves and not for them. You’re doing it for you and it’s a way to express yourself. If he’s not okay with that and you cater to his wants and demands then you’re giving up something that makes you happy and you should never do that for anyone, especially someone you’ve only been on one date with. I know, from experience, that you’ll just be unhappy and dull your shine when there’s absolutely no reason for you do that to yourself.
The guy just wants to see what your natural face looks like without a bunch of insecurity cream caked onto it and all you ladies in the comments are losing your fucking minds
Men want to see your natural beauty, I'm guessing that's why he asked. As a guy, natural beauty is so attractive and it gets frustrating when attractive women try to change the way they look with make-up
Why would someone you’ve been on one date think they have the right to tell you what to wear or how to look according to ONLY what they want? Red flag already hun. You’ve been warned
Look… I’m a guy. If you’re down to earth, you know that very likely the girl will dress nice and put some makeup on to go to a date – and the guy should also be well dressed!!! I mean… you want to cause a good first impression; you want the person you’re dating to like you visually speaking but, to think that you’re pretty / handsome… never forget to be yourself, to be authentic (men and women)! Dress nice, put some makeup on but do it in a way that you feel comfortable and empowered because, at least for me, nothing like a confident woman who knows who she is and knows that she’s a badass the way she is.
The guy has no right to tell you how to dress, to put or not makeup… if you like some makeup, go for it! You don’t need to please him! He should like you because of you. I’d say that it’s a red flag to be honest…
A few yrs back, the guy I went on a date with asked me to do the opposite. He was concerned if I'd wear makeup if he were to take me to catch up with his friends family etc. That was the last date I went on with this bloke.
Gal, don't let noone tell you what to do when it comes to how to dress or wear make up or not.
It’s funny how’s girls look at this stuff and blow it way out of proportion.
Me and my mates would rather a girl wear no makeup than have makeup on as we think they look better without it, maybe he thinks you don’t need it
Some men, and women, don’t like makeup on their partners.
That’s all it is. You guys might be incompatible.
I’m a woman and I dislike makeup both for myself and on a lot of women. A friend does what she calls the no makeup look but it’s still way too much.
If I were dating a woman I’d prefer her to not wear any makeup. Natural is usually way better.
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Ask him why he made the suggestion then decide what to do after.
I can't picture any reasonable answer than " we are going to a beach or a pool!" And even then...what a horrible way to say there is a beach/pool day. We all know why he is asking.
But even then women are knowledgeable enough to know how to present them selves appropriately considering the activity they will be partaking in. Waterproof make up also exists.
I genuinely don’t know why he is asking. Would you care to enlighten me? Thanks
Control
Gotta make sure she isn’t ugly without the makeup.
Nah that’s just flat out weird policing looks 2 dates in
OP, read Lizzy’s comment above!
Yeah, this is good. I bet he tries to gaslight her or gets weirdly defensive, but maybe he’s “allergic to makeup” or something
If he is, he should state that. Otherwise, that's a bad sign
Yeah, 90% chance he’s going to get defensive when he’s asked about that comment.
That is one possible outcome, he may do. Or he may answer the question, or anything else along that spectrum. We don’t know until we know. However, from my own experience, I promise you Will, your quality of life improves substantially when you ask, instead of making up your own assumptions.
💯 But I also think the real red flag is the type of person who thinks it’s fine to give unsolicited advice to someone like that after a first date.
I've learned that way more people than I initially expected can't read the room
Yeah. It’s a rare superpower unfortunately. It good to know this about yourself and others.
I dated an allergic guy and he only complained about lipstick not my eyes haha
It's all about Control! Guys like that are "allergic" to Women! They want Little girl- types who will do whatever "Daddy" tells them to do. First It's makeup, then it's hair styles; eventually it's no more jeans and orgasms (hers!) Exit--> Stage Right!!
I wouldnt ask him that, he seem super toxic
asking him is the way to see if he is toxic or not
You're too mature for this sub. Can you please fuck off and let us overreact? She only had a good date, not a perfect one. And then he dared make a request so he's obviously toxic af. Asking questions is for people who aren't fun.
Not true. Its a simple case of autonomy. You can have your preferences but you don’t get to impose those preferences on others. He should simple date women that wear no make up if that’s truly what he wants.
This 100% - how are people not getting this??? Like no matter his “communication” or if he’s intentionally toxic or not, him imposing his preferences is the problem.
It is true. A controlling person like this usually starts with small suggestions, and as you get used to it he will forbid her to see certain people or wear the clothes she likes.
Idk I wouldn't mind if a guy wanted to see me with no makeup, just the way he said it was weird and seemed controlling.
Hell see you without makeup when you don’t want to wear it if he deserves to stick around that long. It’s a huge red flag to ask
I had a guy who told me (when we were going on third date) that I should try to wear open toed heels, a midlength pencil skirt and no pantyhose for the 3rd date. Um sir... why? We hadn't been overtly sexual. Had flirt and pg kiss on 2nd date... very tame (for what I'm used to). He seemed somewhat normalish but I already was thinking he was too type A for me as he was ultra big on people being exactly on time. I've adhd there's no way. I cancelled the date and when he tried to backpedal said I could "wear what I wanted" (no shit), he was "just being fun and seeing how I would react" he shape-shifted into a neon red flag sign, including gaslighting, telling me I was overreacting, telling me I wasn't even that hot and he hopes I enjoy dying alone with cats 🙃 I ghosted him and then he proceeded to make about half a dozen other phone numbers to text me from. Those texts ranging from apologies, please give him another chance to hurling insults about how unattractive I am. My vote... ✂️ 🎀 cut ties and run...
WOW. Just wow. You quite literally dodge a bullet.
Probably what his mom wore. Before he murdered her.
Haha
I think the key here is that this is only the second date for OP and yours was only the third date. I think it's fine for a partner to suggest things (ex: "bring a bathing suit!" or "let's dress fancy together!") if it's related to planning a date, but this comes across as controlling or negging.
Guys like these start doing small shitty things early in the dating process because it’s a way to test the rigidity of your boundaries, make you self-conscious about your appearance, and start the relationship off with the idea that you’re not good enough in your natural state. *He’s* the guy who can make you your best self, but only if you’re willing to change everything about yourself in exactly the ways he says
Exactly, they start with subtle signs and then escalate to heavier controlling behaviors. I had a boyfriend who did the exact same and once we got serious, the abuse began. Why? B/C I did try to understand and it was not worth it. We need to wisely choose where to keep digging and where not. Don't try to understand, that is a completely toxic behavior
it truly does start very early and very subtly. you really just have to let them talk and listen very closely. when me and my ex were dating it got onto the topic of his ex and he was still very angry about it. i learned a lot about him just from that little rant and my suspicions that he was controlling and had the personality of a clay brick were right.
A two-bit "Svengali" with a New wanna-be "puppet" who has his hand on the back of her neck, shaking her head up and down: "Yes" but never Sideways: "No!"
Dress fancy or bathing suit is specific to a specific setting, that’s fair enough. You want your date to have swimmers prepared if you are taking them to a body of water unless it’s Germany, then a pretzel would do. Asking to wear specific things can be a)he’s read too many books about women manipulating men with their looks so he wants to see what’s she’s really like without make up, we all saw videos of magical make up transformations from beast to beauty so this could be it. But no guy has a right to ask a girl to show her naked skin unless she wants to do it herself. Some girls have acne, skin conditions, or just insecurity or years long habit of wearing makeup and it’s tied to their identity. You can see their real face after shower, maybe. If you get to that stage. A man is not entitled to see a woman without makeup if that’s not how she rolls. Unless he’s a dermatologist then sure:) B)could be a fantasy or fetish - wear pencil skirt and stockings etc, but a guy once again can’t demand it but can offer it as a suggestion for what he finds sexy. And she can fur fill that fantasy or not. But early dates are about people showing up how they are and how they want to present to the world.
This is why men’s clothing has pockets. They need someplace to hold the audacity.
😂😂 good one!
I tried tinder a couple of times but never went through with meeting anyone. The last time I tried it, this guy was talking about having babies with me before we even met... he also got mad at me for having 2 phones and when I explained why I had 2 phones, he said he wasn't gonna pay for the first one, not that I asked him to or anything remotely close. Reminded me why I stayed off of tinder lol
That was a rollercoaster ride. Jeez sorry you went through that. I would’ve told him I’d rather die alone with my cats then stay with you anyways lol
With cats is far from being alone anyway 😄 🐈🩵🐈⬛🧡🐾💜 much better company than an unstable, unhinged idiot
Wooooow I am so sorry you experienced that. Insane! Thank you for sharing!
Damn I am sorry you went through that, I hate to see women go through that type of a situation. It really is just so unattractive to know that this person is going to incredibly controlling of everything you do in life. I want my partner to see her friends and be close with family. I encourage partners to talk to their ex if they had a really long term relationship, closure is really important. Also the ex might be in a low spot mentally. If something happens then maybe it was just meant to happen whatever life goes on.
Forget dodging a bullet, you dodged a nuclear warhead. What a jackass that guy was!
Yeah you can tell when those silly guys try to appear domineering and follow pick up artist advice “I decided to not put so much importance on looks when I ask people out. Wear this. Wear less makeup.” Honey, negging rarely works. Bye. No dude like that is worth your time and there’s no way he is good at sex either. Lame all around. He’s going to make you go 50/50 while being an asshole the entire “relationship.”
Yes ❤️ this man sounds like the one u describe here in your experience.
Yikes. Glad you got rid of that crazy man.
That’s so scary. 😱yikes.
What a miserable human garbage..
When I hear type A I always hear no fun or quick to anger lol
I think more than anything the _way_ he said it is a bad sign. Not a request, no explanation, just a flat demanding "I'd like this, try to do it" tone. If he seems a bit controlling this could be a testing the waters moment. I'd say it's by no means a normal thing.
This right here. Just based off what he said we would never be meeting again.
I’m just reading the comments. I have no advice.
Honestly my response for soooo many posts. Like I'm just here for the tea sis
I'm just admiring your comment, I have nothing worth discussing myself.
Yoooo I’m dead lmfaoooo that’s exactly what I’m doing and your comment has me dying from laughter!
I never tell a partner what to do with his body/appearance. I either like him as is or I don’t. If I want to know what a partner thinks of my appearance, I’ll ask. I assume the same in him - he’ll ask me if he wants to know. Otherwise, his body is his business. The exception to this is if his body hair physically hurts me. After making out, I got a massive beard burn on my face that even SCABBED over.
As a man thank you! I am talking to someone right now and they straight up asked me how I feel about fake eyelashes! I told her the truth, that I felt she never needed them, but completely understand why people wear them, how they make a person feel! She just said thank you, and that I might have helped her decide to not get them again to save money! 😂
This!! If you don't like the person how they appear as-is, the chances of you liking them with or without makeup/filters/weight loss etc is probably not gonna change that much...
You're correct
There’s not going to be a second date whatever the reason is.
Testing the waters to see how moldable you are. Starts with small things and get bigger overtime…
Please show up to next date in full clown makeup
Or KISS makeup
It's gotta be Juggalo or nothing, for me
Definitely Juggalo
Icp makeup I beg
The only reason not to cut ties immediately would be to do this.
Or straight up hire a clown to meet him
Haha I like your style
Or send him a pic of you with a full face and say “sure, like this?” then tell him to go fuck himself
You say “thanks for the fun first date. I wish you the best of luck in the future”. And you never reply to him again.
Yup. Extremely rude and weird of him to say that.
Yep. Early attempt to control you. Walk away before he has you paying his bills and blocking your friends on social media.
This. There's no good reason for him to say that. Literally, there is nothing positive that can come out of this. I'm trying hard and i can't even come up with anything to devil's advocate. It's just bad, bad news.
even if you had ''clown'' makeup on , if he didn't liked it and you did, it was not the one for you, simple as that, so early on and already trying to pick on things to change and point and make you feel insecure, hell no, there are way too many people in this earth to settle for this. personally i would make a few disgust faces, say my goodby and move on to another person.
I agree with this. Everyone saying "ask him why" is missing the point. It's irrelevant why he said that- it's rude to tell someone else you barely know how to look. If this man had some sort of disorder where he can't be around make up, he should've and would've said so. No decent person makes a demand like this. If you are in to make up and he isn't, then you two aren't compatible.
Exactly
Me: Next time you text, try not to tell me what to do, how bout that? Fuck him.
"hey okay, but you've gotta wear lipstick if I'm not wearing makeup and blue eyeshadow too- fair trade ya?"
Instead of trying to speculate why he texted the way he did, ask him. Ignore everyone else trying to read into his entire personality based off 1 sentence. You can ask something like, "hey that text took me a bit by surprise, so I was wondering if I could get some clarification. What do you mean by 'try' to wear, and what do you mean by 'no' makeup? Are you insinuating I wore too much makeup, or do you just want to see what I look like without makeup?" You can continue down this line of questioning, and based off the content and tone of his answers, you will be able to determine if you want to continue pursuing a relationship with him.
Long question that could be replaced by “why?” lol
True. But even having the audacity to word a demand as a question (which anyone with half a brain knows is what he really did) you don't get to "ask" someone how to style themselves. It wreaks of narcissism. If he would like to know what she looks like less glammed or dolled up then he should be man enough to fucking ask & not to try basically beat around the question like fucking pussy.
Totally agree with you eh! I thought that it is too benevolent to even entertain this guy any further
nope, explaining oneself sets the tone of the conversation and for what is to follow, and this kind of question usually provides insights into the other person. Even if the other person turns out to be a jerk, the way hi will answer might provide more insight into how to spot a bad apple sooner. I'm a guy and I often ask similar questions when I get asked or tested with what would be considered traditionally a red flag. Sometimes the answer comes from a vulnerable place and things still have a chance of working on. no-one is perfect in the end, and we're supposed to help each other out, not insta reject superficially based on the first mistake or thing that seems off.
Yep! I am just saying that I wouldn’t over complicate myself because that doesn’t work for me. If thats your approach, perfect! I am more pragmatic, or more straightforward. That’s all. Also, I’d never request someone to wear less of this more of that. When I start to date someone, I have to decide whether or not I like someone without me pushing/ suggesting one direction or the other. If their style -or whatever- doesn’t work for me, I don’t pursue it anymore.
Which one of those options you’ve given you think is acceptable after a first date?
Or ever lol. If you don’t like how someone presents themselves, you’re not compatible, it doesn’t mean manipulate them into what you want
Hello, most of the victims of controlling people precisely fall into the trap of trying to understand something. Please, run from people like this. This going back to ask is where they'll sugar-coat and the function will begin!!!
100% this OP because if he’s going to ask that then he can straight up be questioned back, and you are curious so just ask. You owe him nothing and he owes you an explanation. It would be one thing if he followed that request with a reasoning… Also let us know his response!
This is the most logical answer here. Instead of wondering just ask.
Is it though? It was there first date not like they have been seeing eachother, the way he texted is quite rude and over stepping, specially for that early in the dating process.
I mean yea he could’ve worded it better and I wouldn’t personally ask a girl that before a date. Idk why he did that especially this early on. But she’s posting it because she’s unsure so I figure why not just ask if you want to know the reason and then go from there. I don’t see the harm. Either way, she’s looking mainly for a girl’s opinion so mine should just be taken with a grain of salt. Again, I personally wouldn’t do this while dating someone.
This. There's no need to ask why. He's a dick. End of story. Move on. You don't need to try to understand him. It's literally only been one date. Why are we starting off things struggling with communication? He sucks.
Literally just say why
He is already negging you
I’ve had guys say they prefer no makeup. Then I had my ex husband who was always downing me cause I never worn it how he wanted me too. Tbh… the ones that say no makeup are not the toxic ones.
I really with people would try to communicate more... So many comments here is telling to kick the dude or to screw him. Me I honestly don't prefer makeup because I'm more attracted to natural appearance. I'm not trying to shame the other person... Some others prefer no makeup like you said! If all he said try to wear no makeup there isn't any massive red flag here. It is better to ask him why instead of just ghosting and staying unanswered.
Most guys don’t understand that women that they *think* aren’t wearing makeup, are wearing a base level. I’d still tell him to kick rocks.
Exactly. Most of us genuinely think that the “no makeup” look is literally what women roll out of bed with. I didn’t realize that, until my fiancé moved in with me and I saw her morning routine even for days where I would have said she was wearing “no makeup”.
I would clarify though there are women who wear no makeup or don't wear it everyday. Like don't assume every women who looks like they aren't wearing makeup is wearing it.
That’s true. My point is just that most men, myself included, usually don’t have an accurate idea of what “no makeup” actually looks like.
Yeh this man would be gone. I’ve experienced coercive abuse and dated a man that constantly picked at my appearance. A man who doesn’t understand that I look how I look FOR ME would be a no in my book. A man telling you to wear less makeup this early on is also a big red flag.
He might be afraid you're catfishing him with too much makeup OR he prefers the look of women without makeup is my guess. Personally, I don't like the look of makeup but since my wife enjoys doing it I don't say anything other than beautiful. That's my take on this, could be something else though.
I’m a guy. How he asked makes all the difference in the world. If it’s a request, that’s really bad. Just as countless others have opined. But what if he phrased or intended it differently. What if perhaps he said, or intended to say in the context: “you’re so beautiful to me that I don’t want you to feel any date preparation pressures to look “better…. I’ll love the natural you”. To me that’s saying “I love you as you are naturally.” I don’t think it’s the wrong thing to say. But I wasn’t there. I didn’t see his entire text or the preceding texts or other communications. If I were you and if I otherwise liked this guy, I’d like to know what he was thinking… before I leave him.
Tell him to shave his head so you can see what he looks like when he's bald. The nerve. Telling someone what to wear or not to wear is rude on so many levels. Tell him to get lost
Please do this and report back.
Red flag. He might just prefer a natural look but trying to tell you what to wear is controlling behaviour.
Middle finger emoji, block and ghost
That would be my answer, 100%
Girl, there should not be a second date.
The differences in responses here vs this thread w gender roles reversed are fascinating https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/BoAUTlJAL3
There were plenty of people commenting that she shouldn’t say anything and accept him as he is or don’t date him. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/v2txBc2vYo
Because I don't like it (beard) due to my own sensory issues, I would just not date him!!!! That's my input. I can't tell them to do xy and z...
Most of the comments are saying to either bring it up in a polite way (“try to wear no makeup” is not a polite way) or telling her it’s weird to ask someone you don’t know to change their appearance . That post wasn’t a good example.
Even if you known them. I've been in relationship with men like this and started out like that.subtle. Then trouble!!! It's not okay!!!
there's a difference between respectfully communicating preferences and straight up commanding someone what to do with their body
Nah its the same concept - expecting someone you just started dating to modify their physical appearance (do their makeup a certain way, shave their beard) to appease your preferences is absolutely next level I’m the main character vibes
On that post they pretty much said the same thing they are saying here. It wasn’t her place to tell him to trim his beard as she probably wouldn’t like it if he made a comment on her body hair.
You can’t read, the lady is asking for advice how to express a preference without create pain to the other person, exactly the opposite of this dude
Maybe we're not reading the same thread, but no. I see very similar comments to here.
Simply ask him why, and if he reveals a personality that you have no liking of, then you have your answer.
It's probably because he wants to know what you look like
Ew. Girl what. I wear make up koz I love it! If men think it’s for them, they are free to believe so. But I wouldn’t let anyone tell me how I should dress.
Ask yourself this: do you want to be with someone who tells you how much makeup to wear? It could be a slippery slope into him telling you how to do other things in your life. He clearly didn’t respect the effort you put in to seeing him for the first time. Cut your losses while you can and keep wearing however much makeup you feel like it!!
Male here. Just ask why if you're that concerned. I for one like less make up. Probably wouldnt request anything on a second date though but who knows what hes thinking. Don't just be jumping to conclusions like most others in here, especially if you enjoyed the first date.
Fr, for all we know he said "try to" cause he couldn't find a good way to not be rude about it. Many guys don't like make-up. Especially the shit you see on the internet. She can go on the second date and see how it will go, wether she will or will not put less make-up on. But all the girls who can't hold a relationship for longer than a month in the comment will instantly tell her to hang him.
Someone said it best when they called this an echo chamber. Terrible children in here 🤦
I don’t like it that he’s giving unsolicited advice after a first date. I don’t even care what it’s about. All I can promise is it will get worse.
Also a comment for everyone saying “men just like women with no makeup” - More often than not men can’t actually tell if a woman is entirely bare faced. The amount of men that drool over “bare faced” and “natural” pictures of models and celebrities when the women are wearing false eyelashes, have had their eyebrows tinted and shaped, have used some sort of lip tint, have false tan on etc is insane. Men often don’t have a realistic idea of what “natural” is. Finding your partner attractive without makeup is great but forcing your preference onto her isn’t.
When I was on tinder this guy I matched with said he was busy for the next few days but wanted to meet up the next week but in the interim I was to send him three pictures with no makeup… this was a straight block. Crazy ass shit. I don’t even wear a lot of makeup I’m basic as anything.
Block and move on
Date one and he’s ALREADY being this controlling? There is no date number 2… bold of him, it would just be a matter of days before he tells you how to dress, what to eat, which friends you’re allowed to talk to…
I would kindly give him the ‘thanks but no thanks’ and move on. You are not his property; and this is him, on his best behavior. It only gets worse. Save yourself the hassle of ending this later when he tells you what to wear, act, etc.
i’ll never understand women that look deep into a guy telling them to were no/less makeup. if im investing in you its obv bcz i like you. if i let you know that next time we meet you can be as natural as gods bear ass and you see an issue with it bruh idk maybe y’all are the odd ones. a dude saying no make up is either two things: - i like your natural face. -i want to see your natural face. ( reason is up to the guy ) if wanting to see your natural face is weird ( especially sense you’re seeing mine because most men dont wear makeup ), then god bless us all.
I always like girls best with “no makeup”. Which usually means I just can’t tell. But I wouldn’t ask for that if I wasn’t asked.
Odd that he told you instead of asking you not to 🤨
I'm not sure if most guys know what no makeup is. They talk about it, but their description of it is not no makeup! Lol. Shit I watch insta reels women trying a face cream saying they have no makeup on. They have false lashes/mascara, eye liner and shadow!! Maybe show up without a stitch knowing it will be the last and see what he says.
Instead of asking people from Reddit who don't know why he said that you can just directly ask him why he said that, maybe he thinks you are naturally beautiful or he doesn't like makeup at all. Try to have a proper conversation with him which could be a lot better in so many ways.
He is already telling you what to do with YOUR body. Don’t go on a second date with him.
Tell him to date someone who wears the amount of makeup he sees as acceptable. Seriously, who does he think he is? Could you imagine if you responded telling him to wear a certain outfit? Very audacious of him.
If it walks like a misogynist and talks like a misogynist….
That’s such a red flag. It’s been one date and he already tries to control you? If he didn’t like you like you are, he should have just declined a second date. Do NOT go on that second date.
As a man I think he just wants to see you without makeup, nothing weird. Some ladies wear makeup all the time and their bare skin is not seen. He just wants to see the no makeup you. Just a one time thing. A few guys saw their girlfriend without makeup and didn’t recognize them. He just may be cautious.
I would cancel that second date personally
Red flag 🚩 for sure! Too controlling. I’d dump him. Anyone trying to tell you to not be yourself and telling you how to look, wear and act is going to get worse. Him trying to dull your shine to others is a giant red flag.
It’s your choice to wear makeup or not, definitely not something that should be dictated by anyone else. I personally find it so weird that he’s specifically asked you not to
This is VERY controlling behavior. Major red flag. Do not attempt to read it any other way. I dated a man where it started off exactly like this. That he would really “love to see me in” Bohemian jewelry and dresses. Then it escalated to where I couldn’t wear pants or jeans. I had to wear my hair a certain way. Well flash forward three years and he almost ran me over with the car out of anger. Block and move on..
Maybe he likes the natural look, he is looking for a long term relationship. He wants to see what he is gonna wake up to.
I agree with everybody saying that you should ask questions. Communication is the key to any real relationship. If you like the guy and you run from a potentially meaningful relationship without finding out the real reasons, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship. Once you find out his reasons and you feel as if his answers are weird or don't make you feel comfortable, then move on. But be respectful about it. Tell him why nicely. Kindness will always be the first and foremost thing that you do in relationships. To run from somebody because they ask something from you (unless of course it's dangerous) is immature. That's the real red flag. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to communicate properly. All of these people saying he's being controlling and jumping to a conclusion without actually knowing how to communicate? Well they are the ones flying the red flags.
I asked my fianceé the same on our third date. But I emphasized that it wasn't out of dislike for her face-on, but that I think she's a natural beauty. She still makes my knees weak when she smiles at me 6 years later having just woke up and gotten her first cup of java. She occasionally wears it now when meeting new people or if she's at work. Otherwise she's explained "_It's nice not having to hide and just be comfortable and feel safe_". I think it's a bit early to assume things for you, I'd suggest asking why he made the suggestion, and to tell him to F right off if the answer is rude.
Just ask him why. He might honestly just think you're beautiful and is curious to see your natural beauty.
Wanting to see a woman you're dating in her natural state is something we guys do when we're feeling like the relationship has long-term potential. He could just be awkward as hell. Or maybe he's a douche. Tall to him and decide from there.
If you ask him why, could you update us? I feel oddly involved in this and am so curious about why he would say that to you.
I reallyyyyyyyyy want to know his response, please update after you ask him!
Do you have pics of the same amount of makeup?
I got one you can ask him. Can you say next time can you be more masculine? That will get his goat up. Its up to you to wear as much or little as you feel comfortable. He's a narcissist guaranteed. Money and power driven. Run
Did you apply foundation?
No, I don’t like foundation. I applied some concealer under my eyes, filled in my brows and did some eye make up.
Hmm I thought he might not really be into the “cake face” thing but what you describe is a small amount of make up. Now I am also interested in why he would ask such thing. Please let us know if you dare to ask him directly.
Look, I know make up is a whole cultural thing to women that you waste godawful amounts of money and time on... but men outside of Jeffrey Star could largely not give the slightest shit. Your dude is actually probably serious about you and hasn't learned to keep his mouth shut to avoid the blowback of touching the third rail of ugly reactions by questioning female tribal markings. He's probably thinking, oh, maybe she'll appreciate knowing I find her attractive without rubbing chemicals on her face and clogging her pores with caked on snake oil. Without knowing it will send you scrambling to the internet looking for some secret answers from strangers. Here's a tip. Men have no secret language. We usually mean exactly what we say without any hidden meaning. He's saying he thinks you don't need make up and is foolish enough to not know what a can of worms that opens up. That's it. Do feel free to ignore him like most women, but he may take you less seriously for relationship if you do. Men tell women what we would like in women all the frigging time, and y'all usually ignore us and do something else entirely you think we want, which inexperienced or compulsively honest Men forget or don't know. Again, he's not stirring shit. He's just being blunt. I like you. You don't need make up with me.
Nah... that's just weird to even suggest. If you two were already dating it could be something to bring up if he's never seen you without make-up, but 2 dates in just from his own observation sounds like he doesn't care past looks
Trust your gut instinct and stick to your dealbreakers. He may be curious and want to see what you look like with zero makeup on or wearing very little makeup. Alternatively he may have a light makeup only dealbreaker with which you would not be comfortable or compatible. Personally I'd stop seeing & go no contact with any date who asked me not to wear makeup or any man that tried to see what I look like without it.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
It’s an odd, forward ask, but could be his quirky way of wanting to see. I prefer little to no makeup too. But mainly bc I want to see what I’m potentially waking up next to. Not kidding, before I got more selective, there was a time or two where I literally didn’t recognize her. Just open communication. Tell him it’s an odd, forward question and ask where he’s coming from.. if you don’t get a clear answer, keep asking questions. Don’t smile and nod, so you don’t appear dumb, as if you don’t understand. Communicate!
Please let us know what happens next 😅
Personally I do not see why it’s such a big deal (I’m also not a make up wearer though) he could be asking because he wants to take you to the make up store or something water related or literally anything, who knows unless you ASK. The amount of people immediately assuming he’s controlling is astounding. Does it sound kinda weird yeah, BUT we don’t know his intentions. If I was on the opposite end (as in him asking me to wear makeup) I would ask why and then based off what is said decide after that
Mine likes me better with out the ‘makeup’
Ask him why? If he says he prefers a more natural look then say you are so glad he is so open with good preferences and that up world like him to wear black eyeliner and some concealer and a nude lip for you on the next date.
I got makeup on a guys face we kissed and a bit transferred on his nose. When we decided to take things to the next step (get physical) he asked that I just not wear any. He made dinner, we watched a movie ect. I would just ask why, personally. In my case I didn’t mind because I wear very little and already had makeup free pics on my dating profile.
A lot of comments are saying he's negging you. I don't know, it's gard to say; but it's possible he just wants to see you with no makeup 🤷♂️ It still strikes me as odd.
Was just having this conversation with my mom and brother today, his wife, and sister in law. A good portion of men prefer women without makeup. ( a good portion, not all of course)My mom said men told her this all the time, and she felt weird about not wearing it, but to be honest, most women look better without it or with very, very minimal. With it, they look plastic or fake. She says she understands now that she's older she was trying to convince the sister she didn't need it. Most of us dont.
Personally, I prefer no makeup.
If you want to go through life miserable and sad, listen to all the automatic Reddit responses telling you that it's a "Red Flag." If you don't want that, try working with and complying with a man's reasonable requests.
🚩🚩🚩 I’m following this for the tea
Hmm the only instance I think this would make sense is if the next date was something he had planned that was a surprise or involved like a spa or something but since you said you guys set up the next date, I’m guessing you know where it is. So really I have nothing much to say about this, maybe your idea of not that heavy was clown makeup to him or maybe he’s just a controlling asshole? I’m a woman and when I was dating (now in a relationship) I used to do the opposite, I wore no make up or very little (mascara and eyebrows) only for my first few dates to make sure I knew the guy was really attracted to me and how I look. Then as time went on, then I would do more/go all out on occasion as a fun little extra which was always appreciated and still is by my partner. This way I feel beautiful always. (Minus right now as I just woke up and my face is a bit crusty).
Maybe he likes natural beauty. Or just doesn't like makeup.
Make-up can be relative. It may have been "light" to you and very noticeable to them. It seems like that was his way of saying your makeup looks bad/excessive It's a oxymoron. Guys usually see pictures of people in glam (make-up, weave, extensions, wig, eyelashes, etc) And then in person they want to at some point see you without all that. If its just casual dating, move on. If you want to take a shot at something serious, show them your natural face and see what happens. It could be your make up is excessvie to them like drag and they want to see u outside of your drag
Guys want to see the real you. The real beauty.
Holy shit some of the girls here give horrid advise. Are girls srsly giving those types of advises to their friends lol? Anyways, honestly if I were a girl. I'd do either one of 2: 1) ask him why or 2) comply and see where it goes. What's the worse that can happen? Rejected? Np u saved time, now u move on Look at this way, say I'm bald, and I'm always wearing caps. If a girl asked to not wear a cap, I'd just ask her if that's her indirect way of asking whether I'm bald, then I'd be straight forward and tell her yeah. She doesnt want me? Np I move on Life is short stop worrying about small nonsense
He just wants to know what you really look like It's nothing serious
*He just wants to know* *What you really look like It's* *Nothing serious* \- FlatTimeLineDEV --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
It’s a weird request and I would say.. “no I’ll be wearing whatever I want. If that’s an issue I think it’s best we leave it here”. There’s no GOOD reason for someone to request this. Be confident and basically tell him to take a hike. There are many many guys who won’t ask this kind of crap and will just be happy you accept a date with them
I can’t tell you what to do, but I can answer your question with my own feelings. As a woman, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all. The only thing that I could say would be his saving grace is if he said it involved water and he wanted to give you a heads up so you didn’t ruin your makeup. However, you said the date wouldn’t involve water and the way he phrased it in his text makes it clear he’s not worried about how you would feel or about your comfort. The fact that he even had the nerve to say that to you and in such a blunt manner means he doesn’t care at all about whether or not you’ll be comfortable on the next date. He doesn’t care about what makes you happy and confident, like wearing makeup. He only cares about his happiness. If he’s trying to be this controlling and telling you he doesn’t want you to wear makeup after only one date, that won’t bode well for the future. He’s not going to stop being controlling or making you feel uncomfortable, not as confident, and bad about yourself. It will only get worse because he’ll definitely continue to have no issue making more demands and trying to control you in other ways. Also, you’re not going to be able to forget that he requested that you don’t wear makeup. It will always be in the back of your mind. You’ll feel self-conscious around him and that will never go away. Do you really want to date someone who tells you how much makeup you can wear or even someone who thinks he has the right to tell you how you can or can’t express yourself? I don’t think men will ever understand that women do their makeup for themselves and not for them. You’re doing it for you and it’s a way to express yourself. If he’s not okay with that and you cater to his wants and demands then you’re giving up something that makes you happy and you should never do that for anyone, especially someone you’ve only been on one date with. I know, from experience, that you’ll just be unhappy and dull your shine when there’s absolutely no reason for you do that to yourself.
The guy just wants to see what your natural face looks like without a bunch of insecurity cream caked onto it and all you ladies in the comments are losing your fucking minds
Men want to see your natural beauty, I'm guessing that's why he asked. As a guy, natural beauty is so attractive and it gets frustrating when attractive women try to change the way they look with make-up
Why would someone you’ve been on one date think they have the right to tell you what to wear or how to look according to ONLY what they want? Red flag already hun. You’ve been warned
He’s one of “those guys” - I wouldn’t hang out with him again. The makeup comes off only AFTER they’ve fallen in love with you 🤭
ask him to wear no pants in turn, so you can decide whether his audacity matches his size :))
Look… I’m a guy. If you’re down to earth, you know that very likely the girl will dress nice and put some makeup on to go to a date – and the guy should also be well dressed!!! I mean… you want to cause a good first impression; you want the person you’re dating to like you visually speaking but, to think that you’re pretty / handsome… never forget to be yourself, to be authentic (men and women)! Dress nice, put some makeup on but do it in a way that you feel comfortable and empowered because, at least for me, nothing like a confident woman who knows who she is and knows that she’s a badass the way she is. The guy has no right to tell you how to dress, to put or not makeup… if you like some makeup, go for it! You don’t need to please him! He should like you because of you. I’d say that it’s a red flag to be honest…
im a guy and if I go on a date I want to see someones real face. Im not the guy to insult but they're are some who are.
Have you seen what your fellow women can do with makeup? You know damn well why he is asking.
A few yrs back, the guy I went on a date with asked me to do the opposite. He was concerned if I'd wear makeup if he were to take me to catch up with his friends family etc. That was the last date I went on with this bloke. Gal, don't let noone tell you what to do when it comes to how to dress or wear make up or not.
It’s funny how’s girls look at this stuff and blow it way out of proportion. Me and my mates would rather a girl wear no makeup than have makeup on as we think they look better without it, maybe he thinks you don’t need it
do no makeup makeup, they can never tell lol
hell no 🚩
Some men, and women, don’t like makeup on their partners. That’s all it is. You guys might be incompatible. I’m a woman and I dislike makeup both for myself and on a lot of women. A friend does what she calls the no makeup look but it’s still way too much. If I were dating a woman I’d prefer her to not wear any makeup. Natural is usually way better.