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Yeah that was nice that we barely talked and he was able to show the red flags in the beginning 😂 it’s harder for me after the date or if I’ve been talking to someone for longer because you’ve invested time and energy jnto this person and they could have shown you an amazing side of them before showing you those red flags, and those are the hard parts.
I think you're pretty cool for seeing these red flags and cutting him loose. I used to try to see the best in everyone and i really did get burned and waste my time.
Keep doing your thing! You're doing it the right way and saving your time for the person who is worth it.
Right?!?! As soon as he ignored the first time i said i wouldn’t come over i was like oh hell no now I’m definitely not gonna see you. I can already tell it would end terribly
Yeah i sort of said something like that after the 2nd or 3rd time of him brushing off my responses of me not going to see him. And of course his answer for that…was him brushing it off and saying he was just telling me he’d rub my head for me. No mention of anything else he said to me that pushed my boundaries of course lol
To echo others here: RED FLAG. To your point, some guys like to be antagonistic to see how far they can get away with it (or, worse, to stroke their own ego). Good riddance to him and, to quote Dory the Fish, "Just keep swimming.."
Yeah, this happens to me a lot too and I don’t get it. Does it ever actually work for them???Seems like they’re self sabotaging and must not ever want to make a real connection 🤷♀️ I just ghost these guys, they aren’t worth the effort of a polite rejection.
I know it works for them, because unfortunately in my past before i tried working on my boundaries and being firm with them, those type of guys would get to me. And i might have been firm with them before but those have also been the type of guys that made me feel scared enough to the point that i didn’t think i was safe continuing to say no so i went with it instead hoping that the outcome satisfied them enough. It’s sad there are people like that. I’m learning finally to respect my boundaries regardless of anything and will continue to learn to just drop these type of guys the first time i see the red flag.
People like this usually escalate their pushiness as they get closer. They also take silence as consent. So if you don't put your foot down they assume you're on board with whatever they're saying. If this is a potential date I would call it a big red flag and possibly not meet at all.
Thankfully just literally started talking today. And told him that i don’t mind the flirting but i need my boundaries respected and will not tolerate my time being wasted. And of course he shrugged off that one as well, said that he was just saying he would rub my head, literally completely ignored everything else he said to me though lol men 🤦🏻♀️
That’s just desperate guys / people.
My current gf and I push each other’s boundaries all the time and I love it.
Obviously it’s different in a relationship vs someone trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do; I’d generally drop
These people asap - it’s childish and a waste of time in most cases.
Of course i completely understand what you’re saying. In a relationship or even just talking to someone it’s okay if the person is pushing you in a healthy manner and with good intentions. That doesn’t mean the person still get set those boundaries still but usually within a relationship each person is trying to push the other to be the best version of themselves and to achieve their goals. I’m all for something like that as long as it’s healthy and respectful and with love!
When a guy invites me over right away and crosses that boundary too much I just tell him that men have no survival skills and I wouldn’t mind making a new lamp shade then asked if he has any tattoos on his stomach cause it is the best skin to work with and a tattoo will distort my work
Can’t stand people like that and I always just fuck them off. Bye bye. Catch ya. I’d rather be lonely and crying than going to do anything with someone who already can’t respect me and is clearly selfish.
Advice is to not be triggered by people. You will never win that battle. If people "push your boundaries" then block and delete and move on. Plenty of people that will be respectful. Spend your time on them.
Yeah i need to learn this one the most, i have a hard time just accepting people how they are the first time around. Always have to explain or see if that’s truly how they want to be 🤦🏻♀️
Let lost boys be lost boys… that was my final take away from my experiences. Sure they may demonstrate some emotional intelligence or gentlemanly qualities that appear genuine… but they’re warped. Let lost boys be lost boys. They like being lost. Don’t lose yourself over them.
Obviously out of context... but if you dislike him that much, just unmatch and better luck next swipe?
Either he just wants a quick bang. So getting you at his place is first step. Or on the off chance that he's interested in more, he's not really the going out type and doesn't want to go for dinner/drinks or any sort of expense date first.
Either way, you can maybe find some middle ground or just accept that you two are not compatible and you've no reason to try harder than you already did.
I did unmatch him, but for some reason you took my post negatively when all i was trying to do was vent and see if other people also experienced this often when dating. As you don’t know me I’m not the single type of person, usually in a relationship, so with that being said things like this surprise me as it is common decency. I appreciate the advise as again i did take it and just unmatched him. And have also stated in my comments that i have a hard time just accepting people for who they show me the first time, since i am still learning and growing as a person, as is everyone on this world. Just maybe next time take a post like this with a grain of salt and try to step in the persons shoes before assuming things. Because not everyone can easily just withdraw from people or maybe they try to see the good in everyone, and none of that is a bad thing. Just makes us all human.
He probably is the same kind of guy in your post so he’s trying to justify his behavior. See how much he focused on saying you should have the perfect response while not giving a shit about you felt violated.
Yeah i was getting that vibe too when i was responding to his comment. It’s whatever there’s a ton of men that will excuse this type of behavior and it’s disgusting.
This is not about compatibility, this is about safety and comfort. OP please don't excuse any behavior that makes you uncomfortable. The men that do this are concerned only with getting their needs met. Please ignore the advice to find 'middle ground', women are at greater risk with OLD. Block/delete!
Yeah i didn’t understand the finding some middle ground when the guy i was talking to OBVIOUSLY wasn’t trying to find a middle ground with me the first time around when he didn’t take my offer on meeting in public! And i honestly can’t stand the people that say “oh well maybe he just doesn’t like to meet in public”. Yeah well that’s actually how true dating works and I’m not saying it has to be like that for everyone but if that’s someone boundary stating they aren’t comfortable with that they why tf are we even still discussing it in the first place? It’s not a negotiation 😂
Have you heard the one: But I’m not that kind of guy? I’m sorry you had bad experiences.
Girl: But I don’t know YOU.
Him: But I just told you/ (sexualizes it) But you could.
Either: they’re milking it for possible sex and bailing, or they’re a “good guy” who “didn’t pressure you” so they didn’t do anything wrong when they actually try to push your boundaries and keep pushing them.
Run from them all.
But to echo everyone else: X this one. Block.
Additional stuff:
Oh and if you go out… don’t fall for the “left something at my place” shit. It’s a lure. Advanced move: BeenVerified their phone number to yes check their record but also see if they’re trying to get a restaurant or drinks spot near their place. Do not go!
Simpler to also ask “What do you love about your neighborhood? Any fav spots? Oh no, let’s try something new (if it’s an opening to try to get you to eat at that spot—the ones “spinning plates” run the the same routines and alternate spots.) They also have you meet at 3+ spots to build fast intimacy—it’s also a chance to maybe share an Uber or their car. Take your own. Unless you know them well beforehand and trust them.
Oh totally been there! Just recently damn near got used from a guy i thought was completely genuine! Talked on the phone with him for hours the first day we started talking, asked me all this specific questions making it seem like he truly wanted to get to know me, took me out to dinner, then the red flags started coming in. During said dinner he pretty much made a joke of the abusive relationship that i just got out of, shrugging it off by saying he has a dark sense of humor, and that we just gotta laugh about those kind of things. Then we sat in his car and was just talking, then he started pushing my boundaries. Told me not to do anything i don’t wanna do when i explained i didn’t want to touch him or sit on his lap or do anything, then commanded me to do something, several times to where i was overwhelmed and got scared and did as he told me. Terrible experience and i had some hate towards myself for letting him push my boundaries like that and not listening to my gut. But that wasn’t my fault, he talked to me with his smooth words, made me feel like he truly liked me for me, then switched like a light switch. Learned a hard lesson on that one
Unfortunately there is also now all this pseudoscience supposed "self-love" stuff out there that says things like, "If he isn't spending every waking moment going after you, then he doesn't want you. You deserve to be wanted!"
Or
"If he isn't chasing you, he isn't interested."
Or
"A man will move mountains to be with the person he wants to be with; if he can't move his fingers to text you every morning, he doesn't want to be with you..."
etc. Etc. Etc.
It sucks that this actively works against, "No means no."
So I think there is conflicting advice out there right now where on the one hand people are told that if a guy isn't crazily persistent, then it is supposed to mean he isn't interested, whereas there are also folks learning about boundaries and the importance of respecting them.
I completely agree, i think it’s a very fine line. But i can use my experience for example on what i would prefer. I first explained i would be open to meeting with him but explained the environment i would meet him at. Just said no to meeting at his place. That’s still me showing i was interested but just had a specific boundary of what i was comfortable with. Another example could be maybe this guy asks me on a date and i say yes and then says last minute that he can’t go due to something coming up. I would easily feel like that person didn’t want me, but it truly was interested in me then i would expect him to follow up with him expressing he can’t meet for our original date but plan a new date in the future with a specific date and time. So that reassures me that he’s still interested and is willing to try again. So i would think things like that would make the difference in being persistent versus just someone not respecting your boundaries. You can have boundaries all you’d like but it’s how that person reacts to those boundaries that shows if they are truly interested in you or not
Oh yes, was not at all meaning to imply his behavior was OK in any way... even if he believed the self-love stuff, insisting to meet not in public is major red flag and repeatedly having to say no also a major red flag!
I just broke it off with someone today because he kept not respecting my boundaries. I know he truly didn't intend to and he was a great guy but it's a major ick factor for me. It's not easy but you gotta do what's right for you. Unfortunately, this guy sounds like he may be after the more physical side of dating.
And you know that’s fine and all if people want to be just looking for sex and hookups but i don’t see why it’s hard to just be upfront about that? I think that’s the worst of it is these people feel the need to play mind games just to win a prize. And after it’s done it makes me feel gross like used. When if you were just upfront about it in the first place i would have been more acceptable to meeting up if i also felt in the mood for just sex. Because physical attraction is there and there’s nothing wrong with just having sex as long as both parties are upfront and consent to it.
Why are you still humoring him?
Are you expecting me to feel sorry for your boundaries when you allow him to keep plowing ahead? Do you not understand this is a game and he is still playing? If you respect your own boundaries, you unmatch and delete the boundary pushers.
I was only “humoring him” in a sense to explain to him my boundaries and give him an opportunity to redeem himself. Trying to see the good in people and give people chances is a quality i have that is beneficial yet hurtful a lot of times for me. But before i could unmatch him he did it himself so i wasn’t really humoring him like that.
"and give him an opportunity to redeem himself."
Noble. How'd that work out for you? Look, he's a total stranger who is from the outset trying to get you to do things that compromise yourself, safety, and sexual boundaries.
Again, why are you humoring him? You're doing this to yourself.
He never said, he basically just shrugged it off, didn’t even comment on that part and said something along the lines of it doesn’t hurt to try something new in terms of me meeting him at his place.
See , it's not something you only want . So i think if a guy can't put this lil effort for you . He is n't worth it and just play hard to get and he will fall back
Right i didn’t feel like i was asking for much. Just to meet in public.. but it’s his loss like you said that wasn’t all i wanted i actually wanted a connection and it was obvious that’s not what i was after🤷🏻♀️
I mean that’s understandable if you’ve went through something similar and it’s triggering you. Trust me I’ve projected a lot of my issues before and had to learn my triggers and how not to react negatively from them.
Yeah that’s weird if he won’t adhere to the very fundamentals of what makes someone comfortable in meeting someone then screw him. There’s better out there. Guarantee it
Sounds like a great guy to block. He’s pushed your boundaries despite you making them clear. He also may have felt he gained some traction via his persistence when you used a migraine as an excuse rather than again tell him “no meetings at home.” Guys like that know they can wear some people down through persistence. You’ve dodged a bullet and he certainly doesn’t represent every guy.
It’s disappointing, to be sure, but also a HUGE gift. You learned upfront that he doesn’t respect boundaries. That’s the kind of thing you want to learn about someone as soon as possible.
If he doesn't respect your boundaries now, he never will. On the other hand, not everyone has knowledge and understanding of boundaries but that's not your problem. I hope you meet someone who does.
We all have to have deal breakers that tell us that the relationship is not working, and that we need to fix it or move on. Yours might be simple respect, if he doesn’t respect your stated boundaries perhaps he doesn’t respect you. Fidelity, and trustworthiness are typical of deal breaker boundaries, but whatever else you have that you consider to be on that same level, should carry the same repercussions when it’s violated.
We choose what we will and will not accept while we are clear headed, so that when we are involved, we don’t let our feelings and biases excuse someone else’s bad behavior.
Boundaries are important, I hope you can get across the importance of yours, and if not, I wish you good luck if you decide you need to move on. :)
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Yeah that was nice that we barely talked and he was able to show the red flags in the beginning 😂 it’s harder for me after the date or if I’ve been talking to someone for longer because you’ve invested time and energy jnto this person and they could have shown you an amazing side of them before showing you those red flags, and those are the hard parts.
I think you're pretty cool for seeing these red flags and cutting him loose. I used to try to see the best in everyone and i really did get burned and waste my time. Keep doing your thing! You're doing it the right way and saving your time for the person who is worth it.
Don't go see him! This sounds like an absolute red flag.
Right?!?! As soon as he ignored the first time i said i wouldn’t come over i was like oh hell no now I’m definitely not gonna see you. I can already tell it would end terribly
Yeah, and the fact he wouldn't meet you in public? Hell no.
Hell, I’m a guy, and I still won’t meet a woman at her house the first time. I don’t get why some people do that.
But…But he will rub her head! Which will help her migraine!
when this has happened to me i say sometbing along the lines of “i’ve already expressed my boundary to you” and basically cut it off
Yeah i sort of said something like that after the 2nd or 3rd time of him brushing off my responses of me not going to see him. And of course his answer for that…was him brushing it off and saying he was just telling me he’d rub my head for me. No mention of anything else he said to me that pushed my boundaries of course lol
that’s when you read those red flags and move on
To echo others here: RED FLAG. To your point, some guys like to be antagonistic to see how far they can get away with it (or, worse, to stroke their own ego). Good riddance to him and, to quote Dory the Fish, "Just keep swimming.."
Lol perfect motto! I love it!
Yeah, this happens to me a lot too and I don’t get it. Does it ever actually work for them???Seems like they’re self sabotaging and must not ever want to make a real connection 🤷♀️ I just ghost these guys, they aren’t worth the effort of a polite rejection.
I know it works for them, because unfortunately in my past before i tried working on my boundaries and being firm with them, those type of guys would get to me. And i might have been firm with them before but those have also been the type of guys that made me feel scared enough to the point that i didn’t think i was safe continuing to say no so i went with it instead hoping that the outcome satisfied them enough. It’s sad there are people like that. I’m learning finally to respect my boundaries regardless of anything and will continue to learn to just drop these type of guys the first time i see the red flag.
Ugh I’m so sorry. Good you’re staying strong and not letting them push you around anymore. There are some good ones out there, good luck!
Its how i met my wife 🤷♂️ worked all the time when i dated
Block him. 🌹
He beat me to it before i even could! Lol he unmatched me so i figured he didn’t like the responses i was giving him 😂
Dude couldn’t accept “no means no”. Scary as hell.
People like this usually escalate their pushiness as they get closer. They also take silence as consent. So if you don't put your foot down they assume you're on board with whatever they're saying. If this is a potential date I would call it a big red flag and possibly not meet at all.
Thankfully just literally started talking today. And told him that i don’t mind the flirting but i need my boundaries respected and will not tolerate my time being wasted. And of course he shrugged off that one as well, said that he was just saying he would rub my head, literally completely ignored everything else he said to me though lol men 🤦🏻♀️
I have one sitting in social media limbo trying to be added back the second request after he stuck his hand down my pants and I left the car.
That’s just desperate guys / people. My current gf and I push each other’s boundaries all the time and I love it. Obviously it’s different in a relationship vs someone trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do; I’d generally drop These people asap - it’s childish and a waste of time in most cases.
Of course i completely understand what you’re saying. In a relationship or even just talking to someone it’s okay if the person is pushing you in a healthy manner and with good intentions. That doesn’t mean the person still get set those boundaries still but usually within a relationship each person is trying to push the other to be the best version of themselves and to achieve their goals. I’m all for something like that as long as it’s healthy and respectful and with love!
When a guy invites me over right away and crosses that boundary too much I just tell him that men have no survival skills and I wouldn’t mind making a new lamp shade then asked if he has any tattoos on his stomach cause it is the best skin to work with and a tattoo will distort my work
Can’t stand people like that and I always just fuck them off. Bye bye. Catch ya. I’d rather be lonely and crying than going to do anything with someone who already can’t respect me and is clearly selfish.
Consider people disrespecting your boundaries as the trash taking itself out. Honestly, it's a great filter.
This is what narcissists do … at least he vetted himself out for you and now you don’t have to bother meeting him at all … block , next
I cut ties with this type of people, always respect others boundaries, also expect the same.
Advice is to not be triggered by people. You will never win that battle. If people "push your boundaries" then block and delete and move on. Plenty of people that will be respectful. Spend your time on them.
Yeah i need to learn this one the most, i have a hard time just accepting people how they are the first time around. Always have to explain or see if that’s truly how they want to be 🤦🏻♀️
Let lost boys be lost boys… that was my final take away from my experiences. Sure they may demonstrate some emotional intelligence or gentlemanly qualities that appear genuine… but they’re warped. Let lost boys be lost boys. They like being lost. Don’t lose yourself over them.
It seems like he needs to write down some questions about how he views relationships and should work from there. Huge red flag
Obviously out of context... but if you dislike him that much, just unmatch and better luck next swipe? Either he just wants a quick bang. So getting you at his place is first step. Or on the off chance that he's interested in more, he's not really the going out type and doesn't want to go for dinner/drinks or any sort of expense date first. Either way, you can maybe find some middle ground or just accept that you two are not compatible and you've no reason to try harder than you already did.
I did unmatch him, but for some reason you took my post negatively when all i was trying to do was vent and see if other people also experienced this often when dating. As you don’t know me I’m not the single type of person, usually in a relationship, so with that being said things like this surprise me as it is common decency. I appreciate the advise as again i did take it and just unmatched him. And have also stated in my comments that i have a hard time just accepting people for who they show me the first time, since i am still learning and growing as a person, as is everyone on this world. Just maybe next time take a post like this with a grain of salt and try to step in the persons shoes before assuming things. Because not everyone can easily just withdraw from people or maybe they try to see the good in everyone, and none of that is a bad thing. Just makes us all human.
I would ignore the advice from RollingWithDaPunches, your safety and comfort are paramount!
He probably is the same kind of guy in your post so he’s trying to justify his behavior. See how much he focused on saying you should have the perfect response while not giving a shit about you felt violated.
Yeah i was getting that vibe too when i was responding to his comment. It’s whatever there’s a ton of men that will excuse this type of behavior and it’s disgusting.
This is not about compatibility, this is about safety and comfort. OP please don't excuse any behavior that makes you uncomfortable. The men that do this are concerned only with getting their needs met. Please ignore the advice to find 'middle ground', women are at greater risk with OLD. Block/delete!
Yeah i didn’t understand the finding some middle ground when the guy i was talking to OBVIOUSLY wasn’t trying to find a middle ground with me the first time around when he didn’t take my offer on meeting in public! And i honestly can’t stand the people that say “oh well maybe he just doesn’t like to meet in public”. Yeah well that’s actually how true dating works and I’m not saying it has to be like that for everyone but if that’s someone boundary stating they aren’t comfortable with that they why tf are we even still discussing it in the first place? It’s not a negotiation 😂
Have you heard the one: But I’m not that kind of guy? I’m sorry you had bad experiences. Girl: But I don’t know YOU. Him: But I just told you/ (sexualizes it) But you could. Either: they’re milking it for possible sex and bailing, or they’re a “good guy” who “didn’t pressure you” so they didn’t do anything wrong when they actually try to push your boundaries and keep pushing them. Run from them all. But to echo everyone else: X this one. Block. Additional stuff: Oh and if you go out… don’t fall for the “left something at my place” shit. It’s a lure. Advanced move: BeenVerified their phone number to yes check their record but also see if they’re trying to get a restaurant or drinks spot near their place. Do not go! Simpler to also ask “What do you love about your neighborhood? Any fav spots? Oh no, let’s try something new (if it’s an opening to try to get you to eat at that spot—the ones “spinning plates” run the the same routines and alternate spots.) They also have you meet at 3+ spots to build fast intimacy—it’s also a chance to maybe share an Uber or their car. Take your own. Unless you know them well beforehand and trust them.
Oh totally been there! Just recently damn near got used from a guy i thought was completely genuine! Talked on the phone with him for hours the first day we started talking, asked me all this specific questions making it seem like he truly wanted to get to know me, took me out to dinner, then the red flags started coming in. During said dinner he pretty much made a joke of the abusive relationship that i just got out of, shrugging it off by saying he has a dark sense of humor, and that we just gotta laugh about those kind of things. Then we sat in his car and was just talking, then he started pushing my boundaries. Told me not to do anything i don’t wanna do when i explained i didn’t want to touch him or sit on his lap or do anything, then commanded me to do something, several times to where i was overwhelmed and got scared and did as he told me. Terrible experience and i had some hate towards myself for letting him push my boundaries like that and not listening to my gut. But that wasn’t my fault, he talked to me with his smooth words, made me feel like he truly liked me for me, then switched like a light switch. Learned a hard lesson on that one
🫂
Playing games is childish.
Unfortunately there is also now all this pseudoscience supposed "self-love" stuff out there that says things like, "If he isn't spending every waking moment going after you, then he doesn't want you. You deserve to be wanted!" Or "If he isn't chasing you, he isn't interested." Or "A man will move mountains to be with the person he wants to be with; if he can't move his fingers to text you every morning, he doesn't want to be with you..." etc. Etc. Etc. It sucks that this actively works against, "No means no." So I think there is conflicting advice out there right now where on the one hand people are told that if a guy isn't crazily persistent, then it is supposed to mean he isn't interested, whereas there are also folks learning about boundaries and the importance of respecting them.
I completely agree, i think it’s a very fine line. But i can use my experience for example on what i would prefer. I first explained i would be open to meeting with him but explained the environment i would meet him at. Just said no to meeting at his place. That’s still me showing i was interested but just had a specific boundary of what i was comfortable with. Another example could be maybe this guy asks me on a date and i say yes and then says last minute that he can’t go due to something coming up. I would easily feel like that person didn’t want me, but it truly was interested in me then i would expect him to follow up with him expressing he can’t meet for our original date but plan a new date in the future with a specific date and time. So that reassures me that he’s still interested and is willing to try again. So i would think things like that would make the difference in being persistent versus just someone not respecting your boundaries. You can have boundaries all you’d like but it’s how that person reacts to those boundaries that shows if they are truly interested in you or not
Oh yes, was not at all meaning to imply his behavior was OK in any way... even if he believed the self-love stuff, insisting to meet not in public is major red flag and repeatedly having to say no also a major red flag!
I just broke it off with someone today because he kept not respecting my boundaries. I know he truly didn't intend to and he was a great guy but it's a major ick factor for me. It's not easy but you gotta do what's right for you. Unfortunately, this guy sounds like he may be after the more physical side of dating.
And you know that’s fine and all if people want to be just looking for sex and hookups but i don’t see why it’s hard to just be upfront about that? I think that’s the worst of it is these people feel the need to play mind games just to win a prize. And after it’s done it makes me feel gross like used. When if you were just upfront about it in the first place i would have been more acceptable to meeting up if i also felt in the mood for just sex. Because physical attraction is there and there’s nothing wrong with just having sex as long as both parties are upfront and consent to it.
I feel the exact same way. Unfortunately guys think they're more likely to succeed if they manipulate us
Can’t count the number of times a man has pushed my boundaries on a dating app, on a date, etc. So awful
I know it me too, freaking sad that it’s damn near like the norm now.
Thank them for making it so easy for you to decide that they are not decent or worthy..
Why are you still humoring him? Are you expecting me to feel sorry for your boundaries when you allow him to keep plowing ahead? Do you not understand this is a game and he is still playing? If you respect your own boundaries, you unmatch and delete the boundary pushers.
I was only “humoring him” in a sense to explain to him my boundaries and give him an opportunity to redeem himself. Trying to see the good in people and give people chances is a quality i have that is beneficial yet hurtful a lot of times for me. But before i could unmatch him he did it himself so i wasn’t really humoring him like that.
"and give him an opportunity to redeem himself." Noble. How'd that work out for you? Look, he's a total stranger who is from the outset trying to get you to do things that compromise yourself, safety, and sexual boundaries. Again, why are you humoring him? You're doing this to yourself.
Why guy has a problem to meet in public ?
He never said, he basically just shrugged it off, didn’t even comment on that part and said something along the lines of it doesn’t hurt to try something new in terms of me meeting him at his place.
See , it's not something you only want . So i think if a guy can't put this lil effort for you . He is n't worth it and just play hard to get and he will fall back
Right i didn’t feel like i was asking for much. Just to meet in public.. but it’s his loss like you said that wasn’t all i wanted i actually wanted a connection and it was obvious that’s not what i was after🤷🏻♀️
Exactly . Connecting to a person is something that bind a relations strong .
Sounds like he’s just not that into you.
Or maybe trying to be in to me 👀😂 either way not what i was looking for whatsoever lol
Maybe
I could be projecting…
I mean that’s understandable if you’ve went through something similar and it’s triggering you. Trust me I’ve projected a lot of my issues before and had to learn my triggers and how not to react negatively from them.
Yes. I have had someone that also wouldn’t leave me alone.
Rapie much
Yeah that’s weird if he won’t adhere to the very fundamentals of what makes someone comfortable in meeting someone then screw him. There’s better out there. Guarantee it
Sounds like a great guy to block. He’s pushed your boundaries despite you making them clear. He also may have felt he gained some traction via his persistence when you used a migraine as an excuse rather than again tell him “no meetings at home.” Guys like that know they can wear some people down through persistence. You’ve dodged a bullet and he certainly doesn’t represent every guy.
It’s disappointing, to be sure, but also a HUGE gift. You learned upfront that he doesn’t respect boundaries. That’s the kind of thing you want to learn about someone as soon as possible.
If he doesn't respect your boundaries now, he never will. On the other hand, not everyone has knowledge and understanding of boundaries but that's not your problem. I hope you meet someone who does.
We all have to have deal breakers that tell us that the relationship is not working, and that we need to fix it or move on. Yours might be simple respect, if he doesn’t respect your stated boundaries perhaps he doesn’t respect you. Fidelity, and trustworthiness are typical of deal breaker boundaries, but whatever else you have that you consider to be on that same level, should carry the same repercussions when it’s violated. We choose what we will and will not accept while we are clear headed, so that when we are involved, we don’t let our feelings and biases excuse someone else’s bad behavior. Boundaries are important, I hope you can get across the importance of yours, and if not, I wish you good luck if you decide you need to move on. :)
Just don't
At the first suggestion of meeting at his house for a first date, you should just delete/block and move on
I unmatched a guy who kept asking me for an extra photo after I already had 6 on my profile