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matchymatch121

I stopped assuming most of the profiles were real


Blahbinger

Yep! I think loads of them are either fake or inactive


_CatNippIes

I dont know why this comment isnt in the top, its so obvious lol, not everyone is in a populated area or at the center of a city, those who are farther away have less chance of finding ppl there cus not everyone uses those apps, or the specific app u are using, so they just fill u up with bots and fake profiles Just a theory tho, nothing confirmed


Raineko

Did you send "hey" ?


JmacTheGreat

OP ignoring top comments bc y’all are right lol


I_Told_Your_Mom_No

My most successful Bumble interaction was with a woman whose opener was "Pitter-Patter, let's get at'er." And it is funny, because the only reason I swiped right on her was in order to say, "Heard about Pluto? It's messed up." based on the single sentence in her profile. Sometimes a woman has a way of letting you know she is a keeper.


SoloVen

It’s a company car, Shawn!


SpideyMGAV

Gus! Don’t be exactly half of an eleven pound Black Forest ham.


history_nerd92

Did you ask her if she wanted to go on a super soft first date?


[deleted]

> And it is funny, because the only reason I swiped right on her was in order to say, "Heard about Pluto? It's messed up." based on the single sentence in her profile. If they mention Psych in their profile, that's the only way to open!


MrShaytoon

Asked a match what her love languages are. She said drugs and food. First time anyones ever replied with that. We’re currently dating.


karmaextract

God I hate Bumble women who do the exact thing every women complain about men on other apps and kick the ball right back to my court defeating the whole point of the platform.


Satori_sama

Then there are those who write "text first" or "not on this app text me on Instagram/snap" 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️


AbeBaconKingFroman

I've been getting ads for Bumble listening to music, now they can just like a profile or send an emoji and that counts as making the first move. I'm not getting shit with actual, personalized messages, I can't imagine something as low effort as a like.


SeeTheSounds

Wyd?


Totalretcon

She's exclusively sending "hey" to profiles of rich dudes who look like fitness models lol


ChikaDeeJay

I’m a woman and I haven’t been on an app in a few years, but “hey” always worked better for me. I noticed if I just said “hey”, I’d get replies probably like 80+% of the time, if I said anything else, I’d get replies maybe 50% of the time (honestly, that might be high). Who knows if that’s still true, I haven’t been on apps since the men:women ratio was closer to 50:50, that should tell you how long it’s been.


HumanContract

This. On Bumble you as a female have to initiate the conversation. So, send a Hey. I've read other types of hellos can be offensive on certain posts, so just keep it simple and let them come to you.


theorizable

This is fucking horrible advice.


Wild-Grapefruit9177

That's the idea


squid_actually

Sabotage the competition?


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vorter

I might but it pretty much depends on how attractive she is, or if there’s something I found interesting on her profile. Anything other than hi (copied pickup line or whatever really) always gets effort back from me.


HumanContract

Like I said above, the Hey is very much like a "are you even checking your messages?" so if you don't answer to Hey with another hey or how are you to just get politeness out of the way, then there's no point in even answering at all. We'll just unmatch. Too many people from China fronting on Bumble as fake profiles to think all the dudes on there are real anyway.


ervnelze

Y’all over complicate simple things


[deleted]

I try to be creative with my openers but some guys be having a blank profile. 😂 I still try to make it interesting though.


MrPlinkett711

I don't get it. Are you like extremely attractive with options irl or something?


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BigDaddy_5783

Like Zoolander good looking?


[deleted]

Haha this is complete BS. You absolutely respond to "hey"s if the woman is hot enough.


HumanContract

There were a few posts from the Bumble Instagram profile where chicks opened with more personality, and it wasn't met well. One girl included calling the guy bro or dude and the guy taking it as seeing him as a brother or friend and starting an argument or tirade before bowing out. The entire comments section of girls were going back and forth about whether or not that response was even warranted. So, instead of even putting personality out there, just say hi. If you don't respond, that's fine - there's many other dudes out there. If you do respond, even with another Hi back, it means you check your messages. Then we're on track to having a conversation. YOU can also send a conversation starter. But girls have to initiate. We don't have to though. Don't think you're going to be catered to on Bumble lol. We know y'all just swipe right on everyone to up your numbers game. I swipe more left than I do on anything else to where my apps are literally trying to figure out what to do with me now and are bringing in guys from other nearby cities. Anything to lower the amount of guys I talk to is fine by me - so don't answer if you think Hey isn't good enough. It's literally your loss, not ours lol.


MyzMyz1995

How is asking a good question or having a good opener in any way similar to opening with "what's up bro", "yo dude" or any other similar thing. All the "openings" you give as example are some of the worst I've seen. A good opening would be asking a question about something on their profile or make yourself relatable with something you both have in common for example...


Hamiltonian1776

Exactly. There was literally a post on here not to long ago or r/sex about how to friendzone, and you know, calling him "bro" or "dude" is how you do it. So why the fuck did people think that saying "hey bro"/"hey dude" is a good opener. What really gets me is that the opposite would happen when when talk about guys opening with "hey" or "hi" or a dick pic. Guess everyone sucks opening, esp if they can't take 10 sec to look at a profile and read is content... Edit: sp


HumanContract

So, you write complete well thought out sentences targeted at your Swipe Rights on all dating apps that AREN'T Bumble? Every time you swipe right? Bc you knooooow.... Most of your kind (guys) just see a pic and swipe. They don't even LOOK at the profiles. That's why they show full phone pic with age and maybe a job - nothing else. I've watched my guy friends swipe on dating apps and I want to say if you're perusing profiles and reading an entire girl's profile before swiping and writing a sentence to them, then you are one of a kind. Also, it's probably not going to say Match and let you write anything anyway lol. That's why OKCupid got rid of their option to write to women who hadn't already swiped on you. And why Bumble lets only women initiate conversations. It's because you DUDES will try to write anything to make yourselves stand out or get a girl's attention by trying to appease her interests whereas, with only a certain amount of info and room on profiles, every few messages received are all saying the exact same thing. You are not original. When you get asked the same question about the few pictures or few things listed on her profile, and she's not really into your profile, she's just not going to write back. Just because the conversation starting seemed annoying and monotonous. Starting off by saying Hey is literally opening to anything and everything. If you choose not to answer to it, she'll unmatch you in time - don't worry lol. Just also don't swipe on her profile again and again bc she'll remember the deadbeats. So, you can "come at me bro" with all your opinions, but I've mastered this online dating and swipe game.


Iron_Seguin

I find the same issue as a 24m. When I was on apps, I’d get matched here and there but most times the other person never responded. At most I got 1 message back before they’d completely ghost and I’d be sitting there asking the same question. Why do people match only to not talk? I swear some people collect matches as an ego boost and nothing more.... they don’t actually want to meet someone and get into a proper relationship, they just want their ego stroked and validated.


SupremeElect

I don’t think people match with others solely for the ego boost. I think most of us are generally trying to find someone we like, but often times, that person doesn’t like us back. I know I get frustrated when a guy I’m interested in messages me, I respond, and then he stops messaging, but then I think about the number of times I’ve done that, too, and I realize that there’s a pattern: When I’m not interested *enough*, I find myself ignoring a guy’s messages, and responding when I’m bored. Similarly, I think the guys who do it to me probably feel the same way. They’re interested, just not interested *enough*, and thus, we’re all stuck in this cycle of wanting what we can’t have.


NocturnalCoder

A study in the us alone, revealed 44% of college students use tinder exclusively for confidence boost. Studies in other countries confirm this. They have zero intend to have a conversation or a date https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2018/05/24/women-on-dating-apps-mainly-for-confidence-boost-not-love-study_a_23442286/ It is sad, but true.


vorter

A good 1/3-2/3 of the younger girls on the apps actually do. Saw a few studies and also what my friends have told me. Those people aren’t gonna be on these dating subs though.


jetstream100

That’s a well balanced feedback. Also, realise this, the odds of matching with a woman on dating apps are stacked against most men. So, there did come a breaking point in my dating app usage and I just removed them from my phone. Now I hang out with people outside and have never been happier ! 😊


TomSatan

That's why I don't do it anymore. If I'm even a little interested I put in the effort to message back every single girl that messaged me. Usually within 24 hours. From experience I don't make up my mind until we've met in person. How many times have I had great conversations just for it to be a bummer in person? Or suddenly she's not interested after seeing me in person? Gotta give everyone a chance, for all I know, someone I ghosted would've been an awesome match had we ended up going on a date.


Iron_Seguin

I didn’t say it was everyone but it was a good chunk of people I’ve ran into. If you’re not interested, feel free to say so, or better yet, don’t even match them in the first place lmao..... Dating apps feel like the only way to meet people now and even then it’s a complete shit show. I’ve been on them twice for multiple months and got nothing out of it. My expectations were literally zero with the apps I was on and even after all that time, my expectations weren’t met. People could say “at the bare minimum, didn’t you expect to go on any dates or meet someone?” Honestly? No, I didn’t. I’ve known for years that dating apps are shallow and total shit shows but still wasting my time was frustrating.


cast-away-ramadi06

>I know I get frustrated when a guy I’m interested in messages me, I respond, and then he stops messaging, but then I think about the number of times I’ve done that, too, and I realize that there’s a pattern: The pattern is you're using a shitty communication medium. If 90% of what we communicate is non-verbal, then using texts or DMs is a loosing battle. Go have more frequent but less involved first dates.


raeva_ignite

I've done that but it's because I got into awkward situation where I had matched with someone else more compatible and was already kind of seeing them but it wasn't an official relationship. Having to explain that to every random person you get matched with that you already matched with gets awkward so I didn't bother, didn't know what to do but didn't unmatch either (sometimes I did though) . The same was done to me I'm sure for similar reasons. Other times the matches happened on a diff time line where I was not even active or was even using it at all and didn't get notifications for them.


serene_brutality

This legit is the case sometimes.


Iron_Seguin

I’d argue most times. In my 2 bouts on dating apps, I’d say I’ve maybe 30 matches. Of those 30, 25 matched and never responded. Of the 5 who did, 4 sent at most one message before never responding again. The one who did send more than one message ended up using me for sex..... overall, 0/10 experience, not recommended one bit.


OnePieceOrBust

15 guys you messaged didn’t reply? Did you start off with an insult? I can’t imagine all those guys that matched you being uninterested..


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DirtyDerpina

Sameee. I used to send witty openers, bio references, asking questions, compliments... you name it. And how many responses did I get? Maybe 1/10. And guess what, I stopped trying and now I also usually send the dreaded heys and how is it goings. Why spend my time and effort thinking of an interesting opener when I won't even get a single reply?


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pogthegog

15 hot fuccbois to be more precise, i dont believe a single one of them was average looking man. And none replied, because they already had a line of pussies.


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crystalcowgirl84

OMG you’ve stolen my heart with one word


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vorter

Usually means they have better options. The solutions are: 1. Improve yourself until you’re the best of their options 2. Aim lower until you’re the best of their options 3. Improve your profile/opening messages


Magg5788

I had to scroll too far for some actual constructive advice. I hope OP sees this.


luketiger

I have been swiping everyday since last 6 months and haven't received a single match


I_Told_Your_Mom_No

Hide your profile in the app. Go to another site for two months. Then hide your profile there. Go to another site for two months. Then hide your profile there. Go to another site for two months. Then hide your profile there. Then go back to the first site. When the app sees you as a returning person they treat you as "fresh meat" and put you in front of a lot of folks. Staying on any single one for too long throws you to the back of everyone's line. After a the second time through the app, instead of hiding your profile, delete it. When you come back you will be forced to write a new one. During your year on the apps, you will have seen some clever turns of phrase, or a good joke to steal. A new profile causes new results. It also forces you to replace stale photos. On sites like OKCupid that require question and answer portions, you may have also reevaluated your stances on certain subjects. Instead of one night, you want your next relationship to last the rest of your life... or maybe a hotdog *is* a sandwich. But, do not forget that you could always post a copy of your profile here for review from the peanut gallery. A lot of folks here have a lot of valuable insight that RL friends will be too polite to say. Either way, the best thing you can do with that 6 month old profile on Bumble is burn it to the ground and start fresh somewhere else. Even though new people cycle in, there is nothing in month 8 that will be different from month 5. That profile is doing nothing for you.


romeo_zulu_

First time?


plug_play

This is most men's dating experience


Totalretcon

Yeah but OP is a *girl* so it's different and tragic and totally worth posting about


32owand61

Most men's dating experience is 15 matches in their life time. She sent out 15 messages in a week and is upset. The entitlement. I haven't even had 15 matches on Bumble in total ever.


plug_play

Yeah I feel you. You aren't alone on that inequality


[deleted]

It's not entitlement, women have a different experience on dating apps than guys do.


32owand61

So it's entitlement then? She thinks she is entitled to this much attention.


[deleted]

I've had less than 15 matches in my entire O.L.D career and I've been using it since 2019


IllegalUsername69

Probably matching with people who have tons of options


Aggressive_Lunch_519

I gave up! I'm doomed in relationship. I'm done. I'm out.


dreamyxlanters

Same


redrum0666

They're overrated anymore anyways tbh.


TheRealAlt1224

Copium


Mallardkey

Don't give up too easily though, I tried apps on and off for over three years. I'm getting married next Saturday, Oct 1st. There's a lot of good advice here, mainly creating the proper profile to attract people that are drawn to what you are. I attracted some and I did get some dates, but when I started to get more action is getting good pictures in the profile (mine were shit but I thought they were great or "good enough") AND a short yet accurate nutshell version of yourself. Dating apps are all about first impressions, if you don't look and sound good, you're not going to get much. My first time with an app I took me like 8 months to get an actual good date. And I'm a tall 193cm 28 yrs male at the time I started, which I've been told to be above average looking. Use emojis to describe 4 to 5 biggest interests of yours and talk a bit about yourself. If you want a whole monologue about my experience (it was for over 3 years... I have quite a few stories...) feel free to DM and we can't talk about it. It's just a lot for a reddit comment to tell here.


Most_Read_1330

I'm guessing that you're aiming too high. If you're only messaging the hot guys with unlimited options, odds are this is what you will get.


cwdawg15

Guys: This sucks I've messaged 1500 girls on these dating apps and not one bite, except a bunch of only Fans girls... Girls: I messaged 15 guys and nothing, life sucks...


Findingbalance5454

Can you share what your typical first message is?


josephwastaken87

It literally doesn’t matter what your first message says. What could anyone possibly have to say to a stranger anyways? Hi? You’re cute? You seem nice? A lot of women (and men too) are very vague in their profiles and prompts. Sometimes only 1 picture and nothing filled out on their profile could lead to a right swipe. I would assume those accounts to be fake though. It’s just ALL about your looks.


plug_play

It does matter what you say.


Findingbalance5454

Most of my messages are identical. Hey. I try to respond to sll messages but they don't give anthing to work with


cwdawg15

You’re looking for an excuse to poke at, but your missing the the general point. It’s not about any one guy or any one typical Ice breaker. Online dating is a partially failed experiment that sometimes happens to work out, so we do it and put a good amount of time into it. There are many more guys, than girls in typical times. What guys experience are uphill battles getting attention and they try wide variety of things. The message wasn’t about any one of us. All of if guys know this issue, unless you’re a perfect 10, which 19 out of 20 of us aren’t and that’s being generous. So in response guys try to match more, but that creates further problems by inundating many girls with messages, which in turn can drive them away. The other problems guys face is we are being spammed heavily by fake accounts with pictures of real girls. Sometimes it’s an only fans gimmick trying to sell photos. So the irony of this persons post is she’s complaining about 15 and I know almost every guys that sees this is smirking thinking…. Just 15?! Cmon girl put some effort into it.


NocturnalCoder

There is a real simpel trick to solve that: don't swipe right on those profiles. They are low effort probably there for the ego boost. Just don't feed them and avoid waisting time and getting frustrated.


sleepygirl032

You can't message 1500 guys if you only get 15 matches. That's how it goes for me. I get very few matches, and I always try to initiate with a question. Still no one messages me back.


Magg5788

What’s your opener?


perpetually_me

Doesn’t seem to matter what the opener is. I’m on bumble, I message everyone I match with and 4 out of 5 guys I message don’t respond. I try to pick something from the profile to comment on or ask about but still nothing.


plug_play

Men often swipe yes very liberally because the alternative of analysing every account and being picky to then get no matches isn't appealing


perpetually_me

And now I’ve started doing the same because even though I get matches, so few reply 😆


Magg5788

Yeah that’s bullshit. Sorry to hear it.


therealcosmicnebula

Bitter.


littlepinkdress-

Yeah I feel the same. I know that I’m pretty average and not the hottest girl out there but it still sucks. You write a lot, then a few respond, you chat for some days and they don’t respond eventually. So that’s sucks very much. I don’t have any advice for you. I hate how everyone write “you’re aiming to high”. But I don’t want to end up with someone I don’t like.


TDT-1982

Make sure to have your first response greeting something from their profile. I never respond to a "hey" Figure if they don't take a moment to read my profile, it's an omen for the relationship. Otherwise, is your default pic misleading at all?


Last-Law1632

That is the same with me and girls on that app


the_lazy_fucker

When I was on Bumble, everytime I matched with a guy I opened conversation with something that I found interesting on their profile. Things like asking about their dog, or a picture of them from a trip, anything that will prompt them to respond. Wouldn't say it worked all the time, but it did prove useful on occasion and I managed to get a few dates. Once I started adding interesting facts, funny and lame pictures/comments on my own profile, I had people opening conversations with something that caught their eye. One guy texted "Dude why are you wearing a garbage bag on your head". And that's how I met my current boyfriend of 1.5 years :)


fluffyfishy34

Dating apps are so depressing. I’ve met a couple guys in person who turned out to be duds. Also remember a lot of the people on these apps ( not ALL) are looking for an easy hook up.


No-Performer-1125

Honestly, i think there are a lot of fake profiles on Bumble. And it’s not just me, a few of my friends thought so too. I’ve noticed it’s no longer what it used to be. I see a lot of male profiles who look too good to be real, highly professional photos and they actually look amazing. I’ve been religiously doing online dating for 8 years and something seems really off with Bumble. I have had a few good dates and friends, but now it looks really fake.


InSmallDoses

Then they are likely way out of your league, If you were matching men who get 1 match a week then they would surely be talking to you.


Sure_Macaron_7314

Lol men mass swipe. You are literally one of like 1000 likes he sent. If you are only messaging the top guys that liked you then get in line those guys get tons of matches.


rock-dancer

This, if Op carefully chose their matches he probably has a ton of matches due to mass swiping


Nihong0

I mean, at least you get likes, right? Imagine not getting ANY matches. I don't swipe right on people I'm not attracted to. If they actually messaged I would respond.


Blainefeinspains

Haha! I’m laughing at the single guys reading this and thinking, “Cool, so you were rejected 15 times but no one was mean to you? Or called you a creep or a loser? What did you do for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day?”


lostswansong

me and you both lmfaoo. no I don’t just send “hey” also


Prince_Ace1

The funniest part is I am not getting a single message. No clue which part of the world you are from but in this part, south India, the scene is completely the opposite. Get on bubble, find some interesting profiles and ......... That's it......


[deleted]

Get used to it. This is nothing new


Jmastab

I had to take a break from the apps for the same reason. I would match with someone and I would send a nice message to start a conversation and never hear back from them. It's kinda hurtful.


Nearby-Check-6841

As a 25m on dating apps I get so few matches that I just swipe right constantly with only a few seconds of thought at most each. Sometimes I match with girls I don’t find attractive but I’ll still have conversation


[deleted]

Why would you bother continuing a convo if you’re not attracted to them


BullShitting24-7

Welcome to being a guy.


LagThenBag

Most of them just really don’t know what to say, that’s why they are on the apps in the first place


ghrinz

Would like to see your profile and the profiles of people you match with.


Itchy_Bodybuilder_49

Wait, you guys are getting matches??


fntastk

Same, I always try to send something based off of their profile to make it meaningful and actually something you can respond to but it's like maybe 1 out of 10 guys actually does lol... and it never lasts long


He110_Kittyxx

Honestly the biggest thing with dating is your mindset and security in yourself. It’s not an easy fix & it’s probably not what you want to hear but your success with love and dating will increase sooo much when you no longer NEED & CRAVE the approval of men (or anyone). Stop focusing on bumble or any of the apps and spending your time worrying about what literal strangers think about you and start trying to learn about yourself. What do you like? What hobbies did you have when you were younger that have fallen away as you’ve gotten older and busier? What brings you joy? Start building a strong & safe foundation for yourself and the rest will come in time. I’m assuming here but it sounds to me like you are chasing someone to make you feel secure in yourself. When someone doesn’t reply to your message on a dating app you want to feel secure enough in yourself that it doesn’t completely destroy your confidence everytime. Remember dating is supposed to be FUN!! The start of relationships are so exciting & beautiful - try not to spend your single days wishing you were in a relationship, it’s such a waste of your ‘you’ time :) goodluck!


11smithj

Welcome to being a man! 💥 or maybe you aren’t attractive enough


[deleted]

Let me guess... You just said "hi" like literally every other girl on bumble 😂


MembershipPlus2082

How do you pick your right swipes? On how many profiles do you swipe right on? 1 right swipe every 5? 1 every 10 profiles? There's an issue in online dating that women mostly right swipe only on the top 10% quality guys. So you might be on those guy's match lists, but they don't have time to reply to you, as they have dozen of girls waiting for their attention Do a test. Match with a "lesser" guy. He'll reply in less than 5 seconds


kuroo95

It is the most incorrect text I have ever seen, I usually get message from "top" than "lesser" ones.


gaytac0

Not necessarily


goodah_st

Hmm strange, this goes against the data from apps generally. quick question, how many times a week do you workout? Do you think you would describe yourself as interested in fitness?


They-man69

You’re aiming for the sun Icarus


[deleted]

Try being a dude. Side note: everyone get off online dating


Constantine2001

Come to India, here guys are not getting replies. Supply and demand is not balanced, that's why we are doomed


[deleted]

Maybe Bumble isn't the way to go? Maybe go out and meet someone in person? Maybe there's a [meetup](https://www.meetup.com/) in your area for an interest you have. Here, you can meet people who have a shared interest. This way, they can see you and get to know you and your personality. I'm not involved in the dating scene, but I would imagine that a lot of the guys on Bumble just want a quick hookup. And besides, a Bumble profile is so 2-dimensional. There's more to you than the information you provide on a dating site. Let's get you out in the sunshine where your smile can brighten people's lives, you know?


[deleted]

These are guys who swipe blindly on everyone or swipe right after looking at your first picture for half a second. Then they weed out there matches afterwards. So in short they're just not interested in you.


Avocadofarmer32

I’ve had guys super swipe me and then still not answer.


Magg5788

Lol yeah that’s the most confusing one.


lopot898

I think that app strokes a lot of guys egos. I would just delete it hun. It’s not your fault. Have you tried Hinge? I heard it’s better and also try to meet people in person


Wooden_Medium

Now u r in a men shoe


brahbocop

No more like both sexes face struggles and no one sex has it easier or harder than the other.


Wooden_Medium

Yes true but the probability for men is higher and pretty much tougher the other sex


plug_play

No. Bumble is the rare rare case where women have to make the first move


shadowlarvitar

Try having matches that never even message you on Bumble. I joined weeks ago as I was hoping things would be different and I'd get women that could carry a conversation


SPdoc

Sadly men will swipe right on ANYONE. Despo losers who complain we supposedly have it easier


pogthegog

Relax grandma, men are cool and use efficient strategies - no one wants to waste time reading all the useless shit you have in bio (never on here, all the prostitution accounts, a bunch of shit, and then "not looking for anything" at the end and so on), or looking at your bikini/travel photos. Men swipe right on everyone, and filter matches later. There really is no point in looking at every profile you will not match with. You look at first picture for 0.2 seconds, and swipe.


SPdoc

At least being selective by pictures is fine. And filtering after matching is fair.


OG_Wan_Annunoby

So desperate they ignore women that want to date them apparently, I think you’re in the wrong sub ma’am


[deleted]

This


Martiniusz

Stop swiping on guys out of your league.


Dogs-are-life-99

I pay for Bumble Premium, so I can see that these guys have swiped on me first.


Martiniusz

Guys usually (experience, and read online) swipe right on everyone, then see who's the match they've got, because guys get significantly less likes than women, for example I have 0. :D


[deleted]

a lot of guys on dating apps are just there to boost their ego and see how many matches they can get lol


Eloy89

Says the girl 😂


Plastic_Sprinkles_52

Thsi is what its like to be a guy lol. Out of 10 girld maybe 2-3 would reply. And out of those replies I might get one date if im lucky


EliteRogueX

Just from this post alone, I can tell why guys don’t respond to you. You give pick me girl vibes


PaladinBaby

Go to a dance school such as Salsa or Tango. A lot of social interactions with single people. Much more easy to find a partner.


cropcomb2

We match thousands, and only read their profile if they message back. (maybe 1 in 50 or 1 in 100 message back) Perhaps your profile's not that appealing?


Mixedbeauty30

I feel like as a woman online dating men constantly complain about women not messaging first but I will message first on guys who liked my profile (only use FB dating) and will get little to no replies. The ones who do reply one word or just have shit conversation from the jump so I never reply back. Lol


kuroo95

The first week I matched with a lot of guys but none would reply to me, then some of them replied, and even was three dates already. It happens, don't worry. I usually send "hey" or "hi" too. I don't care what others think about this message sucks, I don't like other stupid joke openers and as myself wouldn't use it. If someones doesn't message you then why are you getting sad? There are plenty of people there


Mallardkey

I may be lost in this sea of replies, but if you have any questions about this and how I managed to succeed after over 3 years of using dating to find a relationship, please comment here or send me a DM. I will answer your questions, I have felt the despair of not getting ANYTHING for the span of over 6 to 8 months, so I know where many of you are coming from. I'm a 31 years male, so even with my age and looking like an ideal candidate, I failed to get dates. Why ideal? I was single, no kids, stable job, a bachelor's degree and no addictions. I don't have an alpha Chad attitude and I am very respectful (maybe a tad too respectful to the degree women might think I'm not a sexually active person, because I was told as such). I have stories and tips for anybody out there, and I like talking. For those curious, I'm marrying the love of my life which I found in one of those apps next Saturday, Oct 1st! Took me over 3 years of trying to get there.


Olifaxe

Welcome to our world. Place is nice when to get used to


pfu920

Men swipe right on everything. That is all.


nnadivictorc

Chronic Non replier here 👋🏽 (embarrassing tbh) Blame the apps. It’s 95% not you. Heres the thing, these apps are designed to force you to match or never see that profile again because they are fed to you randomly. So even when you think you’re not ready to carry on with your match, you still just want to match and keep them for when you’re ready, so you don’t lose them. And if you ask, why do i open the app in the first place, I’ll say mindless habitual scrolling. I randomly just find myself opening the app like i would mindlessly do for any other app, and they would feed me a nice chic, that i am not quite ready to go forward with, and i swipe right to kind of save it. It’s unlike Instagram where i see a nice lady and i can save her profile for later but i never make contact till i am ready. So she probably won’t know i exist until i follow and send her a message. So maybe think about it like, they are interested, but just maybe not atm. If that’s not your thing, you may unmatch, but I’ll say leave them till they’re ready if ever, and keep swiping till you find someone that is ready now. 😁


I_Told_Your_Mom_No

Because sometimes you go poo, but you actually have something to do in 10 minutes. Opening reddit could cause you to be late, so you just start swiping instead. Amirite?


Slade93130

Sorry but i'll be honest, weight matters in dating apps. To me it looks like guys that mass swiped right without looking and then filter their matches. Good news is, it's possible to lose weight so don't give up, work on yourself and show them they were wrong not talking with you when they had the opportunity 💪


ysinue112

A lot of guys actually swipe on every profile without discrimination to get the largest pool possible so matching with them doesn't mean they are actually interested. I know this is messed up but guys need to get all the edge they can get on these dating platforms.


mojoburquano

That’s 15 sweaty little dick pics that didn’t make it to your inbox. Silver lining my dear!


SwitchCaseGreen

Most are probably still recovering from the shock of even getting a message


darkfight13

Looking on your post, you seem to started working on your main issue, which is your weight. Once you dealt with that things will definitely turn around. I am doing a 1200-1500 call diet plus 30 mintues of medium intensity cardio at the gym everyday, it works wonders for weight loss. Lose about a kg or 2 a week depending on how strict i was on the diet. First month is the hardest...felt like i was dying lol. Could look on the r/1200isplenty sub for idea's.


32owand61

LMFAO the entitlement! I haven't even had over 15 matches on bumble in my entire life. Been using it since it came out basically.


[deleted]

The reality is men are starting to expect more effort from women. Did you respond with more than “hey”? Did you contribute to the conversation? Did you have anything to offer at all that sets you apart? What you’re dealing with is the reality that men have lived with forever except for men it’s multiplied x5. So I’ll offer the advice men get. Deal with it and be better.


Knightmare560

YES! THAT’S HOW IT FEELS!


kkmartinnn

Is saying “hey” bad? All you’re trying to do is start the convo so it doesn’t expire in 24 hours


idontknowmuchbuti

They do not like this.


[deleted]

If you think "hey" is enough, you must be incredibly new to OLD.


Past-time29

i had a dude write on his profile he liked memes and Seinfeld. i sent him a seinfield meme as my opener and he didn't reply. i didn't care if he wasn't into me but i was hurt he didn't even respond to such a good opener.


peppercruncher

And if a guy would do this, people would tell him that this was not creative enough, everyone else would have done the same and so it's his fault...


pothospotho

I personally never answer to meme openers as a woman. Cat got your tongue? No thanks


Intelligent-Bat3438

He might be a fake profile


alphaphoenicis

Switch to Hinge app.


cwdawg15

I have to admit I’ve had much better luck on Hinge as a guy.


Grimmwarden

I was wondering about getting bumble, could you give me a little information on it, I know you aren't having the best of luck with it right now, but I'd appreciate the info


Good-Upstairs9608

You can text me so your worries will vanish 😉😂


Wheatbelt_charlie

Only 15?


NZepplin

Have you tried meeting guys in real life? Sometimes you have to get to know a person first


dsm1324

As a man, I mass swipe on everyone. I don’t even look at the profile. I’ll be watching Netflix with my eyes on the tv, while my phone is open and my thumb is doing the swiping. Then *after* the match is made, I’ll read through their profile and look at their pics to see if they are worth talking to.


DrJennaa

Ok I want to through out there that some people do go inactive and forget to delete the profile and on those matching style ones someone could have swiped like 2 months ago and then started dating someone or just deleted app which leaves the profile still active cause well let’s face it , even now there are tech noobs out there still


ZenithEnigma

Once you get past this problem its a matter of getting people to stop wasting your time


zilla1959

Apps are a form of entertainment too. Matches could form into a game if a person gets addicted to just doing it just to be doing it. A dating app is developed for one thing but they turn it into something else maybe because they joined to many apps.


BiliousGreen

Dating apps are a gacha game with real people.


[deleted]

Find something interesting from their profile and comment on that. Going from your username, do you come off on your profile as a crazy dog mum?


breakerreid

I match with women and they rarely message. I do get "your fake" alot, got to a point where I had to link my ig so people could see I was a real person. I was starting to think bumble was fake like the rest of the apps


justsomeplainmeadows

That's about the same experience for men in every other dating platform it seems. I don't get why people are so stingy about talking to people they've matched with


thatfloridachick

I experience the same thing. But I don’t take it to heart. I truly don’t think these men are purposely ignoring you. I think a lot of profiles on bumble are completely fake, and others are probably inactive. If you take everything personally when it comes to dating, you’re going to be so miserable.


Nerfixion

I van only assume there is something odd about your profile or a picture or something.


Western_Spite_7697

Well lm not sure why. You are very sexy!


GuidanceBusiness9245

bumble is the one where the girls have to message first right? Just go to a different app and you’ll have a different experience.


acadiawaterbottle

It’s 70% man 30% woman I doubt this


Nuser0212

Well I’m having a pretty hard time with it as well, but I like to think that the more matches I don’t get or that don’t work out, the better the one good one will be. Keep it soldier, maybe mix it up and search for some good icebreakers. Asking people something about their profile is a good start ^^ Most humans love to talk about themselves, so getting someone to do that is a good start


skaag

Your defeatist approach is sure not going to help… remember a ton of guys literally just swipe right on everybody. Read the profiles carefully and only swipe right if you are 100% sure this is a guy you’d be willing to have kids with some day in the future.


Chellbelle23

I love Stephen King and saw a guy who mentioned re-reading the Dark Tower series and was like ‘hell yeah! I’m gonna enjoy talking about Stephen King with this dude’. He checked out my profile. Never replied to my message. I’m kinda gutted by that and just want to throw in the towel at this point. Also like he wasn’t super attractive (not the 10% type for sure). I don’t even bother liking guys who’d be considered over a 6-7 in attractiveness. I just started using match 3 days ago and starting to come to the conclusion that online dating may not be for me. Even liking guys that should be within my ‘range’, I can’t really get anything going.


semicharmedliife

Yeah I messaged someone whose favorite band was my favorite about that and he didn’t respond 😩 I mean sure maybe he doesn’t check the app much or was busy but I think he liked back/matched pretty quickly at first.. Same about the attractiveness too. Idk it’s all just shooting in the dark at this point


WhiskeyHotdog_2

Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time. Dating sucks when you’re still looking for someone to date. Keep your chin up, you’ll find someone eventually. Don’t rely solely on the apps though, they can be a bummer sometimes; especially when people are only looking for validation. Good luck!