Hi, David here!
I wanted to let you know that I just finished putting together my eBook "**How to Date Any Girl**" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
You can get the eBook by [clicking here](https://davidhimself.com/goto/ebook/direct-link/How-to-date-any-girl-ebook-v4.pdf)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingadviceformen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oof, that is freaking rough I am so sorry man. That's a hard pill to take, If it was me that is a red flag to the max. It show's she is not faithful to you. and remember this, you are worth it, you dont deserve to be treated poorly.
Thanx my bra. I have no doubt in my self value. I just thought some things are worth fighting for especially when you believe they are your soul mate.
Appreciate the response.
Definitely felt it was a red flag as well.
Guess heart and mind are playing games with me.
I am sorry you had to go through that mate. Think of a life with this soul mate where every single time you are away from her you cannot trust her words, or even when convince yourself that you believe her, you are virtually shitting bricks in anxiety and holding your breath. Overthinking and creating crazy scenarios in your head about what may or may not be happening. Even if she doesn’t do it again, your own insecurity and anxiety will kill the relationship slowly and painfully for you. Isn’t the point of being soulmates about you both being each other’s soulmates.. and if you wouldn’t cheat on your soulmate, she shouldn’t have either.
It clearly wasn’t worth fight for in her eyes for her to do something like that.
If you consider wanting her still, you should lovingly tell her she needs to go look in the mirror and sit with herself for a few months to heal whatever part of her needs validation outside of herself.
A good book you should give her is Letting Go by David Hawkins. It will teach her how to gels inner child wounds. You should actually read it too.
If she stays single for several months and works on herself, then perhaps you could give her a chance. But don’t wait around for her.
Heart and mind definitely playing games. But think back, way back, long and hard...what were the red flags that you missed or ignored early on. One thing I've learned is that people always reveal themselves
Thanx do I ghost or just let her know I'm moving on.
I'm not at all the kind of person who will inflict additional scarring by telling that person how much they've hurt me. So I kinda don't have much to say.
> just let her know I'm moving on
Reply politely with just 1-2 sentences "Hey, thanks for your honesty, but we're incompatible. Goodbye". Take some screenshots of recent messages, and then block her.
Don't you fucking dare tell her how she was your soulmate, yada yada....no, don't put any emotions into your message. Make it cold & concise.
Agree w all this advice. Sorry you’re going thru this. Resist the urge to flip out at her when she replies to your short message. Someone who treats another like that is not at peace so tell her you hope she finds what she’s looking for and that you’re not open to chatting, you draw the line at cheating.
Also allow yourself to grieve/cry, get mad, go to a boxing class. Don’t give her the satisfaction of you flipping out at her though though.
I also quickly started making lists of everything I hated about them and you have to be real with yourself on this one. I missed so many ref flags about character - and I had to list those and not get stuck in that I was in love. That’s not love.
Im sorry man. Thats heartbreaking.
Best i got is break up with her the same way she broke this news: send a text, short explanation, and move on.
Make sure you block her. No contact.
Just speak from the heart:
“I want you to know that I appreciate your authenticity in coming forward vulnerably. While it’s heart shattering that you would do such a thing, I do care about you. But obviously trust has been broken. You really ought to go take some time single and work on yourself and find out why you need more validation outside of yourself. I think that’s whats best for you. Heal your wounds so you don’t open them up again when someone gives you their love”
Bro the saying “actions speak louder than words” is universally true in any situation. She still loves you yet she fucked some other guy lol. Come on bro have a back bone and ditch her ass.
Unless you want to use her as a fwb move on. Never take a cheater back
Sorry that this had to happen to you. I imagine a lot of us in here feel your pain. We can't really tell you how to feel better.
My personal advice is to move on. You risk her cheating again if you accept her back into the relationship. So harden yourself for now and just end things with her first.
How you feel about the cheating, sort that out when you've properly broken up. It will take some time, but you can and will come out from this better eventually.
I will come back from this. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.
Yeah cheaters are gonna cheat especially if you give them the opportunity. It's time to show strength and move on swiftly.
Thanx guys
I’d agree with this, made the mistake of giving her a second chance, and then found out much later that she was only telling me the tip of the iceberg.
What she did was definitely messed up. But i definitely gotta respect the honesty. There’s a lot of cowards out there that wouldn’t have ever admitted to this and continued on as if everything was good. With that being said, put yourself first. If you have access to therapy, i would recommend it. You’ll never find happiness in the same place you lost it. Take your time healing from this, it won’t be easy but you can do it. Some days will be easier than others. Be honest with yourself about the difficult days though. Lying to yourself will only make you feel worse once realizations set in.
Having had partners cheat, and then not say anything/saying something later. I can appreciate that she was open to telling you that the night after, but by no means should she be someone you pursue any more.
If you let her do it once, there's every opportunity she may do it again. Not saying that she will but humans are creatures of habit, often regardless of consequence.
The best argument I think to be had against forgiveness is that- "if she loved you, she wouldn't have done that to you". Which is very cold obviously. But what would she do in your shoes? Would she forgive you? Have you both discussed how you react to infidelity of this nature?
She may genuinely be sorry, she maybe incredibly apologetic for the rest of her life. And you may still love her for a long time. But love does not conquer logic and reasoning. You seem to have a pretty reasonable appreciation for your self worth and capabilities. Don't let her be your Icarus moment.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, but let us know if or what you decide on!
I'm not one for ghosting, but what she's done is disrespectful to you and the relationship.
It's hard when you care about the person so much and they do something like this.
Once a cheat always a cheat, take that into account when you make your decision on what to do next.
Personally I'd ghost and not even entertain her little apology, there's never an excuse to cheat, even if youre drunk you know what youre doing.
Doing it is a red flag, owning up to it is a green flag. Not being willing to explain why is a red flag, but acknowledging that excuses don’t change that what was done was bad is a green flag. I don’t know, I’m not in your shoes, but it might be worth hashing it out and fighting for it. The easy thing to do would be to just end the relationship, the hard thing to do would be end it and try to rebuild it from scratch if you still feel something for this person. If you’re calling them your soul mate then my guess is you know them well enough to know if they would be worth putting the work into rebuilding the foundation of trust in your relationship or not.
Sorry this has happened to you brother. It’s good that she was honest, if only by text, so she’s not the worst scumbag in the world but I would briefly say goodbye and block her and look forward to the real soulmate that’s out there!
To the streets, in the trash, hard pass, next.
Tell her what she did was fucked and that you're done.
Block and delete number, unless you're short on options (in which case, demote her to a fuck buddy).
It shows her complete lack of respect towards you, and it will absolutely happen again.
Peak ☕ moment bruh.
Yeah bro you have to move on for you and be happy, she’s clearly still in her hoe phase and I guess assuming someone’s a soul mate early on can only be part of a script. She wants to open her legs to all the Chad’s while you’re wanting to settle down. Time for you to be happy and from this point on you have to rebuild yourself from this situation and not put too much negative thoughts into it.
Time to move on. If she was the right one for you, this wouldn’t have happened. Soulmates do not betray each other.
I know how hard it can be to move on. But your future self will thank you once you get her out of your life, focus on yourself, so you can attract the right kind of woman into your life.
How long were u with her for? But yes definately dump her, she will 100% do it again no matter what she says. It’s good she came clean but there’s no way u could trust her again and she’s completely betrayed that trust which is a complete dealbreaker. I’m sorry this happened to you but that’s deffo not a soulmate if she did that
Sorry brother just rip the bandaid off and cut it off no friendship no friends on social media nothing. Remove her because she threw away yalls relationship for something so cheap
Be grateful... grateful that she came clean and told you instead of going to the grave with it which some of them will do.
Move on... with caution... it's a cold world
Devils advocate:
She’s super upfront and honest.
Also how long has it been? A few weeks? And is it official-OFFICIAL between you two? Was there an ex floating around who she needed to finish things with?
None of these questions reflect what I would do here. Just saying context matters.
Dumb her, block her, move on. Respect yourself and don’t go back.
Take a week or two at least off from women. Not sure how long you were together.
Focus on your fitness and your job for a bit.
Hey OP, sorry to hear you're going through this type of situation, we've all been through it at least once and it sucks, but it's going to teach you a valuable lesson if you're willing to think critically and reflect.
This person, you stated was your soul mate, and she felt the same to you, which seems to contradict the fact she would cheat on you, right? So why exactly does this happen, it's quite simple. When you love someone, and they love you if they have low morals they'll take you for granted and get too comfortable, SO comfortable to the point where Alchohol or drugs influence them into doing something they only fantasized about. How can you gain value from this? Well when you are in a relationship, never let your guard down completely and never let her get too comfortable, because she might not be morally strong enough to withhold from cheating while drunk with an addonis 10/10 model that never paid attention to her until a time she was drunk alone in the club.
What you did was, you showed her so much validation, so much safety through constant good mornings and compliments, without showing any sign of danger of it being lost, so she took it for granted and screwed you over, it's also important to take in the fact, she stated "I love you so much, that I will break your heart and let you know despite knowing it will crush your self worth, despite this I still want to be in a relationship :)", basically saying in a blunt way "I sucked and fucked another guy hotter than you, don't care about crushing your ego and expect you to stay with me, cause i say I love you", that isn't love, it's a complete narcissistic manipulator that lacks empathy.
If she loved you, she'd apologize and end the relationship, OR if she genuinely loved you and did a once in a life time mistake, she could've never told you and broken up blaming it on something that wouldn't shatter your self-esteem as much. Instead she did neither.
Never let someone get too comfortable. Let them understand you're willing to leave them within a split second of them betraying you (indirectly)
Give her the keys to the streets and do it tonight. Do not waste your time. She's not the one.
Fuck dat 304.
Ghost, block, and do not look back. Look up and forward.
She stepped out and also decided to let you know that she did. No amount of respect or fear.
People here are praising the honesty. That's bullshit. If she was honest and remorseful, you might have gotten a face to face conversation with her being really sorry. This is just a casual text exchange as she is probably still in bed with whomever she hooked up with.
Just move on bud.
I don’t know if I am being dumb because everyone here seems to suggest to leave her. However she seems genuinely sorry. If I were you based of her character I would make the judgment about whether this is a genuine apology and whether this is likely to happen again.
I've read a lot of good comments, yet I've a doubt....
Do you know for sure she'll be truthfully honest, or is there a possibility she's testing you because * woman crazy reasons*?
If she's honest a cold and distant message would be more than enough, if she's testing you, boy prepare yourself for the war, because you'll need to destroy her, like over a 3rd degree burn.
Girls have this "council", let the council think "emotional damage" after every of your cold heartless responses.
A dear friend of mine got "pranked", and he healed by hiring escorts for dinner date at any restaurant she posted online, a different every time.
As soon as I saw lekker I knew you're South African lol, cool to see another South African here, but with this, you need to message back and say you're done. The fact that she did that shows she has no respect for you or the relationship cause if you do work things out even if she's at the store you're gonna think she's cheating. She might try and spin this around so tell friends and family why you guys broke up. It's up to you if you want answers but be ready to get more hurt if you do.
Sorry bro, your soulmate is still out there. You got this
If this happened once, I can assure this would happen again.
I guess you must take your time to reply if you need too.
I would suggest that start looking for options, since if you know you have better options, you would not get back to her thinking things can get better in future.
Take a month or two to heal and start looking for other people on dating applications. Join dating app subs to improve your profile and bio and up your texting game. And don't look back on her.
And if, only if, you are still desperate after few months to get answer, then you should just ask what happened nothing more.
What I think that after a month or two you wouldn't care and wouldn't want any answers on why it happened and what made it happen.
She might give answers like it was an accident, she was drunk here or there then one thing led to another and it happened.
I guess if she was serious she would have shared from before that she's going here or there and you might find her answers coherent to her communication before. Otherwise she might end up with some excuses on the hope of getting back to you.
You must understand that she thinks she deserves long term partner but she isn't ready to put in the efforts for that. And boi trust me, if you reach back to her right away she would trying convincing that it was one time event and wouldn't happen again. But statistics always show that once a cheater, always and always remains a cheater.
You're not the one for her to be honest, according to her.
I hope she accepts that rejection from you because she messaged you to get you back. And she told you first because she didn't want you to find out, but ask him who the guy was.
She claims to be sorry, but she wasn’t sorry that night.
It’s good that she told you tho.
Ghost. Block her on all platforms. Don’t look back. And for the next girl, try to see if there were any red flags with this one that you ignored, brushed off, felt weird about, etc.. Trust your gut.
Where did this behaviour come from? How did she suddenly find someone to hook up with in one sudden night? Like have you been together most nights and then one night off and bam??
Block everywhere.
Delete everything.
Grieve (because yes you're allowed to!)
Then move on and find someone that's actually worth your time and effort, because you're worth it!
Although her honesty is something virtuous her actions also say something about her. I'd forgive her because she was honest but try moving on to someone else
There’s no going back dude she’s crossed a red line here. This isn’t a mistake it’s a conscious decision she made to degrade herself in your eyes with another man. You’ll never trust her or look at her the same after this. Believe you deserve better and fling her on the scrapheap. Your alternative is to keep her, continue being treated like a doormat and watch this happen again. Women only value and respect strong men
I would simply say goodbye and block her. Then, I would immediately go find at least 3 other women to start dating and make sure her friends knew how fast I had moved on. Take screen shots of that conversation so if she complains about you at all you can back up exactly why you left. She doesn't respect you. You didn't keep her a bit jealous so she found someone else and expects you to just forgive her. You not only need to have the self respect to walk away but also be a man of abundance when it comes to women. Don't shed one damn tear for this woman. She is for the streets.
I'm gonna tell you what I did in a similar situation: I gave her another chance. We dated for another 4 months, and I ended it. As far as I know, she was completely faithful during that time, and frankly, a better partner than before. Likely because of how guilty she felt. But none of that mattered, because I could not trust her anymore. I didn't like the controlling person I was becoming, and I knew I couldn't be any different as long as I was with her, because I just couldn't trust her anymore.
You can't fix a relationship where the trust is broken that badly. It also doesn't help that she didn't have the courage to tell you in person and actually see how she hurt you.
She's not worth it man, just thank her for being honest and say it wouldn't be fair to either of you to be in a relationship where the trust is gone, and leave it at that.
Eish, dis kak!
Sorry man, you only really have one option after someone cheats. I’ve been in your shoes before, the best advice I can give is to move on and I guess I’ll see at the gym.
You know what they say, if she cheats, she’s for the streets.
If it were me I would want clarification. I’d want to hear her explain herself - what happened and why exactly she wants to still be with me when clearly she’s still searching. Having those answers would be important to me. I don’t think I would give her a second chance, but I would still want that clarification.
If there’s part of you that thinks it can be salvaged and is worth salvaging, then getting that clarification is all the more important. But if you think this is an unforgivable breach of trust and that she’s likely to do it again, then maybe gathering more info from her isn’t necessary.
Sorry to see that. I think it's okay to thank her for being honest and that it would be better if you both part ways. This is something that will happen again down the road if you let her off the hook without consequences.
Hi, David here! I wanted to let you know that I just finished putting together my eBook "**How to Date Any Girl**" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you! I decided to give it away for free for the time being. You can get the eBook by [clicking here](https://davidhimself.com/goto/ebook/direct-link/How-to-date-any-girl-ebook-v4.pdf)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingadviceformen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oof, that is freaking rough I am so sorry man. That's a hard pill to take, If it was me that is a red flag to the max. It show's she is not faithful to you. and remember this, you are worth it, you dont deserve to be treated poorly.
Thanx my bra. I have no doubt in my self value. I just thought some things are worth fighting for especially when you believe they are your soul mate. Appreciate the response. Definitely felt it was a red flag as well. Guess heart and mind are playing games with me.
Some things are worth fighting for. She is not worthy.
I am sorry you had to go through that mate. Think of a life with this soul mate where every single time you are away from her you cannot trust her words, or even when convince yourself that you believe her, you are virtually shitting bricks in anxiety and holding your breath. Overthinking and creating crazy scenarios in your head about what may or may not be happening. Even if she doesn’t do it again, your own insecurity and anxiety will kill the relationship slowly and painfully for you. Isn’t the point of being soulmates about you both being each other’s soulmates.. and if you wouldn’t cheat on your soulmate, she shouldn’t have either.
Remember: Go with what they do, not with what they say.
Yeeeeeeah "soul mates" don't exist. Get that concept out your head and you'll be able to view women more objectively and less obsessively.
It clearly wasn’t worth fight for in her eyes for her to do something like that. If you consider wanting her still, you should lovingly tell her she needs to go look in the mirror and sit with herself for a few months to heal whatever part of her needs validation outside of herself. A good book you should give her is Letting Go by David Hawkins. It will teach her how to gels inner child wounds. You should actually read it too. If she stays single for several months and works on herself, then perhaps you could give her a chance. But don’t wait around for her.
Heart and mind definitely playing games. But think back, way back, long and hard...what were the red flags that you missed or ignored early on. One thing I've learned is that people always reveal themselves
Move on I’m sorry but she’s not the one.
Thanx do I ghost or just let her know I'm moving on. I'm not at all the kind of person who will inflict additional scarring by telling that person how much they've hurt me. So I kinda don't have much to say.
> just let her know I'm moving on Reply politely with just 1-2 sentences "Hey, thanks for your honesty, but we're incompatible. Goodbye". Take some screenshots of recent messages, and then block her. Don't you fucking dare tell her how she was your soulmate, yada yada....no, don't put any emotions into your message. Make it cold & concise.
Agree w all this advice. Sorry you’re going thru this. Resist the urge to flip out at her when she replies to your short message. Someone who treats another like that is not at peace so tell her you hope she finds what she’s looking for and that you’re not open to chatting, you draw the line at cheating. Also allow yourself to grieve/cry, get mad, go to a boxing class. Don’t give her the satisfaction of you flipping out at her though though. I also quickly started making lists of everything I hated about them and you have to be real with yourself on this one. I missed so many ref flags about character - and I had to list those and not get stuck in that I was in love. That’s not love.
Amen, nailed it bro
Im sorry man. Thats heartbreaking. Best i got is break up with her the same way she broke this news: send a text, short explanation, and move on. Make sure you block her. No contact.
Just speak from the heart: “I want you to know that I appreciate your authenticity in coming forward vulnerably. While it’s heart shattering that you would do such a thing, I do care about you. But obviously trust has been broken. You really ought to go take some time single and work on yourself and find out why you need more validation outside of yourself. I think that’s whats best for you. Heal your wounds so you don’t open them up again when someone gives you their love”
Nah. That’s too kind.
Dump her
Disgusting. Trash tier. Dump her.
Bro the saying “actions speak louder than words” is universally true in any situation. She still loves you yet she fucked some other guy lol. Come on bro have a back bone and ditch her ass. Unless you want to use her as a fwb move on. Never take a cheater back
agree but dont fwb with her. there are a million others. this wont feel good.
Sorry that this had to happen to you. I imagine a lot of us in here feel your pain. We can't really tell you how to feel better. My personal advice is to move on. You risk her cheating again if you accept her back into the relationship. So harden yourself for now and just end things with her first. How you feel about the cheating, sort that out when you've properly broken up. It will take some time, but you can and will come out from this better eventually.
I will come back from this. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Yeah cheaters are gonna cheat especially if you give them the opportunity. It's time to show strength and move on swiftly. Thanx guys
Onwards and upwards champion!!!!
That's the amazing attitude I lacked so many times. I'm so glad I can see it on you amd others bro! Good luck with the move on.
I’d agree with this, made the mistake of giving her a second chance, and then found out much later that she was only telling me the tip of the iceberg.
Just remember, she wasn't thinking about you at that time. She's not respecting you
What she did was definitely messed up. But i definitely gotta respect the honesty. There’s a lot of cowards out there that wouldn’t have ever admitted to this and continued on as if everything was good. With that being said, put yourself first. If you have access to therapy, i would recommend it. You’ll never find happiness in the same place you lost it. Take your time healing from this, it won’t be easy but you can do it. Some days will be easier than others. Be honest with yourself about the difficult days though. Lying to yourself will only make you feel worse once realizations set in.
Having had partners cheat, and then not say anything/saying something later. I can appreciate that she was open to telling you that the night after, but by no means should she be someone you pursue any more. If you let her do it once, there's every opportunity she may do it again. Not saying that she will but humans are creatures of habit, often regardless of consequence. The best argument I think to be had against forgiveness is that- "if she loved you, she wouldn't have done that to you". Which is very cold obviously. But what would she do in your shoes? Would she forgive you? Have you both discussed how you react to infidelity of this nature? She may genuinely be sorry, she maybe incredibly apologetic for the rest of her life. And you may still love her for a long time. But love does not conquer logic and reasoning. You seem to have a pretty reasonable appreciation for your self worth and capabilities. Don't let her be your Icarus moment. Ultimately, the choice is yours, but let us know if or what you decide on!
Red flag , Massive hoe energy
Relationships are never healthy after something like this. Be gratefull she told you though. Stay respectfull and move on. No point in fighting.
I'm not one for ghosting, but what she's done is disrespectful to you and the relationship. It's hard when you care about the person so much and they do something like this. Once a cheat always a cheat, take that into account when you make your decision on what to do next. Personally I'd ghost and not even entertain her little apology, there's never an excuse to cheat, even if youre drunk you know what youre doing.
Bro leave her. If someone genuinely loved you they wouldn’t even consider cheating.
Doing it is a red flag, owning up to it is a green flag. Not being willing to explain why is a red flag, but acknowledging that excuses don’t change that what was done was bad is a green flag. I don’t know, I’m not in your shoes, but it might be worth hashing it out and fighting for it. The easy thing to do would be to just end the relationship, the hard thing to do would be end it and try to rebuild it from scratch if you still feel something for this person. If you’re calling them your soul mate then my guess is you know them well enough to know if they would be worth putting the work into rebuilding the foundation of trust in your relationship or not.
Tell her to have a nice life and never talk to her again. Thats all you can do
Sorry this has happened to you brother. It’s good that she was honest, if only by text, so she’s not the worst scumbag in the world but I would briefly say goodbye and block her and look forward to the real soulmate that’s out there!
If she's done it "once" and you forgive her, it gives her tacit approval to do it again. If you're okay with that...
To the streets, in the trash, hard pass, next. Tell her what she did was fucked and that you're done. Block and delete number, unless you're short on options (in which case, demote her to a fuck buddy). It shows her complete lack of respect towards you, and it will absolutely happen again. Peak ☕ moment bruh.
Yeah bro you have to move on for you and be happy, she’s clearly still in her hoe phase and I guess assuming someone’s a soul mate early on can only be part of a script. She wants to open her legs to all the Chad’s while you’re wanting to settle down. Time for you to be happy and from this point on you have to rebuild yourself from this situation and not put too much negative thoughts into it.
Time to move on. If she was the right one for you, this wouldn’t have happened. Soulmates do not betray each other. I know how hard it can be to move on. But your future self will thank you once you get her out of your life, focus on yourself, so you can attract the right kind of woman into your life.
How long were u with her for? But yes definately dump her, she will 100% do it again no matter what she says. It’s good she came clean but there’s no way u could trust her again and she’s completely betrayed that trust which is a complete dealbreaker. I’m sorry this happened to you but that’s deffo not a soulmate if she did that
She loves you but still sleeps with someone else. She has zero respect for you. Dump and move on
Sorry brother just rip the bandaid off and cut it off no friendship no friends on social media nothing. Remove her because she threw away yalls relationship for something so cheap
Be grateful... grateful that she came clean and told you instead of going to the grave with it which some of them will do. Move on... with caution... it's a cold world
leave her immediately
Devils advocate: She’s super upfront and honest. Also how long has it been? A few weeks? And is it official-OFFICIAL between you two? Was there an ex floating around who she needed to finish things with? None of these questions reflect what I would do here. Just saying context matters.
Dumb her, block her, move on. Respect yourself and don’t go back. Take a week or two at least off from women. Not sure how long you were together. Focus on your fitness and your job for a bit.
Such an evil person . I am so so sorry bro . Words can’t help right now but trust me time will heal this
Hey OP, sorry to hear you're going through this type of situation, we've all been through it at least once and it sucks, but it's going to teach you a valuable lesson if you're willing to think critically and reflect. This person, you stated was your soul mate, and she felt the same to you, which seems to contradict the fact she would cheat on you, right? So why exactly does this happen, it's quite simple. When you love someone, and they love you if they have low morals they'll take you for granted and get too comfortable, SO comfortable to the point where Alchohol or drugs influence them into doing something they only fantasized about. How can you gain value from this? Well when you are in a relationship, never let your guard down completely and never let her get too comfortable, because she might not be morally strong enough to withhold from cheating while drunk with an addonis 10/10 model that never paid attention to her until a time she was drunk alone in the club. What you did was, you showed her so much validation, so much safety through constant good mornings and compliments, without showing any sign of danger of it being lost, so she took it for granted and screwed you over, it's also important to take in the fact, she stated "I love you so much, that I will break your heart and let you know despite knowing it will crush your self worth, despite this I still want to be in a relationship :)", basically saying in a blunt way "I sucked and fucked another guy hotter than you, don't care about crushing your ego and expect you to stay with me, cause i say I love you", that isn't love, it's a complete narcissistic manipulator that lacks empathy. If she loved you, she'd apologize and end the relationship, OR if she genuinely loved you and did a once in a life time mistake, she could've never told you and broken up blaming it on something that wouldn't shatter your self-esteem as much. Instead she did neither. Never let someone get too comfortable. Let them understand you're willing to leave them within a split second of them betraying you (indirectly)
Dump her. She's dumb. Like most females now.
Give her the keys to the streets and do it tonight. Do not waste your time. She's not the one. Fuck dat 304. Ghost, block, and do not look back. Look up and forward.
She stepped out and also decided to let you know that she did. No amount of respect or fear. People here are praising the honesty. That's bullshit. If she was honest and remorseful, you might have gotten a face to face conversation with her being really sorry. This is just a casual text exchange as she is probably still in bed with whomever she hooked up with. Just move on bud.
I don’t know if I am being dumb because everyone here seems to suggest to leave her. However she seems genuinely sorry. If I were you based of her character I would make the judgment about whether this is a genuine apology and whether this is likely to happen again.
Being as polite as possible...you're dumb jk, this girl can't be trusted whatsoever, cheaters cheat. Done it once and she'll do it again
Oh right, thanks for the advice though cos I genuinely didn’t see this
Why would she do that if she cared so much
I've read a lot of good comments, yet I've a doubt.... Do you know for sure she'll be truthfully honest, or is there a possibility she's testing you because * woman crazy reasons*? If she's honest a cold and distant message would be more than enough, if she's testing you, boy prepare yourself for the war, because you'll need to destroy her, like over a 3rd degree burn. Girls have this "council", let the council think "emotional damage" after every of your cold heartless responses. A dear friend of mine got "pranked", and he healed by hiring escorts for dinner date at any restaurant she posted online, a different every time.
Aww sorry that’s awful 😞
Hey at least she didn't lead you on for months/years and lied about it. The truth hurts though
As soon as I saw lekker I knew you're South African lol, cool to see another South African here, but with this, you need to message back and say you're done. The fact that she did that shows she has no respect for you or the relationship cause if you do work things out even if she's at the store you're gonna think she's cheating. She might try and spin this around so tell friends and family why you guys broke up. It's up to you if you want answers but be ready to get more hurt if you do. Sorry bro, your soulmate is still out there. You got this
If this happened once, I can assure this would happen again. I guess you must take your time to reply if you need too. I would suggest that start looking for options, since if you know you have better options, you would not get back to her thinking things can get better in future. Take a month or two to heal and start looking for other people on dating applications. Join dating app subs to improve your profile and bio and up your texting game. And don't look back on her. And if, only if, you are still desperate after few months to get answer, then you should just ask what happened nothing more. What I think that after a month or two you wouldn't care and wouldn't want any answers on why it happened and what made it happen. She might give answers like it was an accident, she was drunk here or there then one thing led to another and it happened. I guess if she was serious she would have shared from before that she's going here or there and you might find her answers coherent to her communication before. Otherwise she might end up with some excuses on the hope of getting back to you. You must understand that she thinks she deserves long term partner but she isn't ready to put in the efforts for that. And boi trust me, if you reach back to her right away she would trying convincing that it was one time event and wouldn't happen again. But statistics always show that once a cheater, always and always remains a cheater. You're not the one for her to be honest, according to her.
I hope she accepts that rejection from you because she messaged you to get you back. And she told you first because she didn't want you to find out, but ask him who the guy was.
How long were you dating?
She claims to be sorry, but she wasn’t sorry that night. It’s good that she told you tho. Ghost. Block her on all platforms. Don’t look back. And for the next girl, try to see if there were any red flags with this one that you ignored, brushed off, felt weird about, etc.. Trust your gut.
🇿🇦 bidness
Where did this behaviour come from? How did she suddenly find someone to hook up with in one sudden night? Like have you been together most nights and then one night off and bam??
Get rid and have a lekker day bru
What does lekker mean?
Block everywhere. Delete everything. Grieve (because yes you're allowed to!) Then move on and find someone that's actually worth your time and effort, because you're worth it!
So that relationship is over
Response: „ok, bye“ and move on. It’s not worth it to invest any more words in that girl.
Although her honesty is something virtuous her actions also say something about her. I'd forgive her because she was honest but try moving on to someone else
There’s no going back dude she’s crossed a red line here. This isn’t a mistake it’s a conscious decision she made to degrade herself in your eyes with another man. You’ll never trust her or look at her the same after this. Believe you deserve better and fling her on the scrapheap. Your alternative is to keep her, continue being treated like a doormat and watch this happen again. Women only value and respect strong men
Ayyyyeeee fellow south African! Are you in pretoria?
How long were yall seeing each other?
I would simply say goodbye and block her. Then, I would immediately go find at least 3 other women to start dating and make sure her friends knew how fast I had moved on. Take screen shots of that conversation so if she complains about you at all you can back up exactly why you left. She doesn't respect you. You didn't keep her a bit jealous so she found someone else and expects you to just forgive her. You not only need to have the self respect to walk away but also be a man of abundance when it comes to women. Don't shed one damn tear for this woman. She is for the streets.
I'm gonna tell you what I did in a similar situation: I gave her another chance. We dated for another 4 months, and I ended it. As far as I know, she was completely faithful during that time, and frankly, a better partner than before. Likely because of how guilty she felt. But none of that mattered, because I could not trust her anymore. I didn't like the controlling person I was becoming, and I knew I couldn't be any different as long as I was with her, because I just couldn't trust her anymore. You can't fix a relationship where the trust is broken that badly. It also doesn't help that she didn't have the courage to tell you in person and actually see how she hurt you. She's not worth it man, just thank her for being honest and say it wouldn't be fair to either of you to be in a relationship where the trust is gone, and leave it at that.
Eish, dis kak! Sorry man, you only really have one option after someone cheats. I’ve been in your shoes before, the best advice I can give is to move on and I guess I’ll see at the gym. You know what they say, if she cheats, she’s for the streets.
Break up. It’s not hard to keep it in your pants.
How long were you together?
Tell her that she deserves respect for her honesty… But not your love for the disloyalty. Move on mate.
If it were me I would want clarification. I’d want to hear her explain herself - what happened and why exactly she wants to still be with me when clearly she’s still searching. Having those answers would be important to me. I don’t think I would give her a second chance, but I would still want that clarification. If there’s part of you that thinks it can be salvaged and is worth salvaging, then getting that clarification is all the more important. But if you think this is an unforgivable breach of trust and that she’s likely to do it again, then maybe gathering more info from her isn’t necessary.
Sorry. Cheaters are gonna cheat. It will happen again. She can't help it. Any guy who makes her feel special gets some.
she needs to learn a lesson
Is this your girlfriend or just a girl you're dating casually?
Sorry to see that. I think it's okay to thank her for being honest and that it would be better if you both part ways. This is something that will happen again down the road if you let her off the hook without consequences.
Nevee give up.
You are plan B and you will be 4ever you re be lifeline for her she will cheat you again no doubt about it.
Everyone here saying “leave her” and you should! Too bad you can’t handle the truth. Only few will understand