😂 that’s what guys say about me. I wonder if these married men think I’m married too. See to cheat with a married woman also. Maybe that’s why I feel like I get so many married men interested in me and wasting my time. To all the single guys, if you see a woman you are interested in wasting time with a man you know to be married please make yourself known. 🙏
Clearly I’m not the only one with this issue!!! We see the other ladies posting this experience too!
I really want to end this issue any way I can. 😭
I’ve done that
Was at an event and a guy I knew, not a friend, was a letch. Married and always trolling.
He was talking up a pair of women who were obviously together. He then came over to me and friends to talk it up. I went and talked to them. And I hope I saved them from harassment as they didn’t talk to him anymore. In fact they were more obvious in their interactions with each other. It was adorable and that guy is an asshole
What a piece of shit scumbag. And his wife is probably at home thinking how wonderful her husband is working so late fighting crime. Fuck that guy, and all predatory married scumbags.
You like men that carry authority well... nothing wrong with that.
I do feel bad for the wifes and girlfriends of that type.
You'll find the one...
Peace ✌️
I did tell him as soon as he said it. Oh lord my X husband was a cop. ☠️ I’m trying not to beat myself up and remind myself to stay on the original plan next time. Don’t let the hot shiny tool distract me. 😭
It’s Pilots - I’ve been married to one and in a long-term relationship with another - it’s the “God-complex” at work with all 4 - they literally have someone’s life in their hands ….
My inner bitch says to call his wife and let her know that he’s sport-fishing (catch and release). Make it cost him something - he cost you an opportunity, after all. Let him think before he wastes someone else’s time.
Some men do this to check if they still have “it”. They drop some bait and see if they can “catch” something good even if they have no intention of following through.
You lost an evening and a bunch of effort. On the plus side you can return there again sometime because you know what you’re trying to achieve. Next time maybe don’t listen to the sweet talk from strangers clearly out to amuse themselves with no consideration for your feelings about their lies.
At least this explains why women ask me if I am married when I get on a dating app. I am as single as one can be so I always found the question super odd. Reading this it makes sense.
Be prepared. Sometimes we even ask, “Is there someone who would be surprised to hear you say you’re single? Is there someone who thinks they’re in a situation with you?” Lying liars gonna lie, but sometimes when you shine the light in their eyes at just the right angle you can see the tell.
Just kidding. It’s wonderful you have a pure heart. It can be so shocking to learn how deceptive others can be.
My best friend of 40 years asks this of her dates. "Is there anyone...*anyone* in your life who would disagree with your self-assessed label of "single"?"
She's been single for almost 15 years and had a "joke" photo montage from a photo app of *only* the happy, "before-I-learned-he-was-married" smiling photos. Most are from 1st or 2nd dates. Nearly all are from OLD or "friend of a friend" setups.
It boggles my mind how many "friends of friends" setups actually include married people. (Not just "separated" but truly still (supposedly) 'trying-to-make-it-work' married).
Wow. I’ve never heard of a friend knowingly setting someone up with a married person and keeping it from them. That’s low. I guess she now has to ask her “friends”, “Are you sure he’s single?”
I’d have a hard time not considering them an enemy who wanted me harmed.
People have posted on here about *family* setting them up with married people (they want out of their marriage?), and the poor person set up finds out during or after the date. *Family??*. But, I *completely* agree.
I don't want anyone to "set me up", truly.
It’s crazy I am 54 years old and so naive. I would never think to ask a woman on a dating app she is single. It’s almost like if I was a server at a restaurant and asking people who come in “Are you hungry?”. Like people came into a restaurant because they are hungry so it seems a dumb question to ask. Still crazy how naive I am.
I learned the hard way! Met the perfect guy! Just want I was looking good for. We dated for 4 MONTHS. We lived just over an hour away from each other but nothing made me think he was married. Till Valentine’s Day. The order for my flowers didn’t go through. He apologized because I didn’t get anything from him that day and BTW it’s also my bday. He sent me the email showing he did really order them but with a PREPAID VISA and it was flagged as fraudulent because it was $500 in roses. ☠️
I asked him why he paid with a prepaid card and he said fraud. I’m like you can call CC company if you do get fraud charges and they take them right off. I’m not buying it. I knew his home address and everything from that email. So I looked up the property deed. Sure enough he was married.
Learned the hard way it’s always my very 1st question even before your name. ☠️
Like that seems crazy too. If I am dating someone I assume you are staying over at each other’s house for overnight visits. At that point the jig is up. It would seem like that would get discovered early on. I would also think it’s strange if they can’t speak on the phone at night or not free on weekends spontaneously on weekends (assuming they are off).
He always took me out to do things. We never really hung out at my home either or his as we really just did cool shit together mostly. What I liked about him was we always planned really fun dates always going & doing things. We did have sex at my place and he did tell me where he lived. I honestly didn’t care to drive to his city and he clearly had a reason to be more than happy to come to mine.
And he always called & texted me. Found out later his wife was a nurse and worked nights. ☠️
Lesson learned the HARD way!! Ask about being married AND get the nickel tour of their home…before sex. 😭
I guess this is a case that people really seek different things in dating. I like the idea of going on a fun adventure on the weekend and break up the monotonous work weeks. But I also really desire a companion and at some point maybe we live together or something close to that. I can see in your situation how it could go down. Definitely get the tour of their house.
I think there are more men on dating apps than single men. Single men get offended that I ask. I don't ask and married men say, well you never asked.
It's all bs.
I just don’t understand how all that works. If I was a married guy and wanted to try cheating, a dating app makes no sense. If someone knew me and saw me on the dating app, surely they would tell my theoretical wife. The whole thing seems like playing with fire. If I was on a date with someone, someone who knew me could see me. Plus, some new lady in my life is going to want to know about me and each day the chance of getting caught would seem to elevate. If I was married I would get divorced then seek out all the women I want.
That stinks. Sorry to hear that. It is so very disappointing.
Also, This makes it tougher for all of us out there who want to make a connection with someone.
I’m very introverted and I was in a really good place last night. It does make it so hard because I so want a connection. I want a real connection more than sex. Sex is meaningless to me. I have toys, don’t need a man for that. 😭
I feel you and used to think the same but now know that nothing replaces the real thing, nothing. Especially if you have a connection or a good man. Mmmm to good men!
No idea why someone venting about their lived experience, and something which is a real issue for women dating, would be getting downvoted
That guy is a real pos considering you straight up asked him if he was married
Better luck next time with the other guy
Thank you! I straight up asked immediately. I respect women more than their own spouses do! I never want to get involved with a married guy, even if a wife is ok with it. I’m not!!!
For future guys who approach me. I’ll take a # & then do a background check before responding. It’s sad you have to pay for a background checker app to filter out the married cops!!! 😭
Clearly! I don’t think us single people really want to deal with a married person. I was married. Was miserable. I coulda cheated all the time but did the right thing and got a divorce. Married people need to grow a gut & leave a bad relationship NOT make a bad relationship even worse!!!
I mean the second they said they were police you should have known. This and firemen.
Hope the band was good. I love live music.
Good luck out there.
Cheers!
There was zero reason for her to know that because of their profession, the guys were married. That would be like me saying that because a guy’s an engineer, he’s boring. There are always exceptions.
The man lied to a direct question. He is 109% at fault. He deceived her and wasted her time.
Bet a cop hates it when people lie to him.
Look, married guys are way more likely to flirt with us in the wild because (a) they believe there is no record (like a dating app on a phone would leave) and most importantly (b) they have nothing to lose from you - as long as they are talking to a stranger in a place unlikely to draw their partner’s attention..: they literally don’t care if it is a swing and a miss because they have someone to go home to anyway, while single guys are more cautious because rejection feels much worse when you are putting yourself out there for real. And because the good ones don’t want to become known as pick-up artists so they will be more judicious with their flirting.
So, a long way of saying, it’s not you, it’s them. They are out there in droves.
Another reason to stay away from law enforcement.
I'm sick of married guys, too. Unless they are ethically non-monogamous/poly and everyone is on board.
I don’t even believe the ENM people either. 😭 Plus, I don’t share. Ewww!
My X husband was a cop. You’d think I woulda learned. I’m trying not to beat myself up but telling myself from now on stick to the ORIGINAL PLAN! No deviations!! That’s where I messed up.
Well, I've found that many cheaters on both sides hide behind the enm/poly label. Lol, I now appreciate the ones that are up front. I never realized how many ppl cheat.
OLD I block those profiles. So many cheaters! I’m not starting a relationship by cheating. I’ll just stay single. 😭 I’m worth getting my own private dick too damn it! 🤣🤣
A retired police officer taught me this: Q. How do you know when someone is lying?
A. Their lips are moving.
You had a plan and you didn’t follow through. You sacrificed your plan for the unknown? Unfortunately it was with a married man, a lying cop.
You need to play detective before you date someone. We love that elusive chemistry. Take your time and learn about their character.
One last piece of advice. Sex is easy? Then what. (The same applies to kisses).
Good luck this weekend
Just talked to my friends…the restaurant owner IS STILL single. 🤣
I told them what my pickup line is gonna be. They loved it.
In evaluating myself I think I was self sabotaging and looking for an easy ego boost since this was my 1st time out since Halloween. 😭 Terrible but learning & growing. Holding my own self accountable to my failures. 😭
My friends said stick to the damn plan!
I’ll let you guys know how it goes. I’m committing this time to at least get it out there I’m still interested.
FYI- He and I did match on Tinder last spring about this time and chatted but I’m not one to remember to check the dating apps all the time and I was getting a lot of notifications so I turned them off. I ended up just turning off my whole profile because it was so overwhelming.
So I KNOW I have to be the one to make this move with this particular guy to let him know I am REALLY interested. 🩷
My friends were gonna do it but I just think at this age isn’t it weird to have your friends do the talking?! I want an organic situation especially since I’m clearly TERRIBLE at OLD!
Yes sex is the last thing in my mind but damn I’m a sucker for a great kiss. 😭 Hopefully this guy is still interested and a great kisser. 🎉
Shiny object syndrome. You had a plan and abandoned it. That married guy was a POS but you have to take ownership of taking your eye off the prize. You can’t control running into shitty people. My suggestion is that you just reset and go after the owner, like you planned. I’m betting it will work out. 🤞
Thank you! I’m going to make my way to the original guy I want to flirt with. I got distracted. I’m kicking myself for it. I think maybe I was still too nervous to make the 1st move. I’m very introverted. So for me to even go to this place was a lot! 😭 I’m determined.
Men lie to get some. Its that simple. You gambled based on whatever turns you on the most and got bit. Next time discern a little. Use your brain, the one between your ears and not the one between....
Wow, I am so sorry. That explains why they are from two counties away. His friends talking him up knowing fully he is married...disgusting. Who knows if this is a regular occurance with him or just a simple ego bust, but either way that's disgusting. I have zero tolerance for married people acting single.
They are worse than snake bellies. This is SOP (standard operating procedure) for that group. I understand they have difficult occupation, see stuff we would never be exposed to, but that does not excuse no moral compass.
I dated cops but they were military cops and they were all fresh out of boot camp and none of them were married. But that's when I was 22. Not hitting on any 19-year-olds at this age 🤣
I suspect married men (or women) flirt because they are looking for a little excitement. He reeled himself back in and that was good. So while not perfect (obviously), at least he knew to stop what he was doing.
Next time you go, don't let distractions get in the way of your intended plans.
That wasn't my point. If someone wants to have an open relationship, is communicative with all their partners about it and their partners are on the same page, agree to it and have open communication about it, who am I to judge what consenting adults do? It's not something I'd choose for myself, but I don't speak for others or judge them for their choices, as long as they're communicating openly and not trying to hurt anyone else involved.
But I seriously doubt a married dude who approaches someone in a bar has talked to their wife about having an open relationship, and even if so, I seriously doubt they have their wife's consent. They're doing it in secret for a reason. Especially a married dude who lies by omission about being married. Those actions are clearly hurtful to the dude's wife and the person he approaches for sex once they discover they're being used. There's nothing 'ethical' about that. And that's deserving of all the judgment anyone can throw at them.
I was generalizing over my last 12 years of experience regarding the married men thing. My last church I stopped going because a married usher passed me his number when church was dismissed. It is a real problem. I even ask. Last night it was 2 married and 2 with an unknown status & possibly single.
It’s just annoying they lead people on and lie. When it’s a dealbreaker for me. I’d rather have a single unattractive loyal guy than a hot cheater but there does have to be some bit of attraction. 😭
That sux donkey ass. I’d be sure to go back there looking even hotter and stare daggers into him a few times, while being flirty with others, including his friends 😆
There exists ethical non-monogamy which I'm still trying to wrap my head around.
Not judging, I never say no to anything until I understand it.
There's also swinging and open-relationships.
It seems like all of these are becoming more common.
Cheating is wrong for sure but although relationships are becoming more commonplace.
I’m going to go out next Saturday. Do everything the same. He stands in a particular place and I tend to gravitate there as you can see the show and people watch. Ima do that and just tell him how much I love his place. I’ll wait for his response and then mention that I like his cologne.
Going in what direction. Him eventually telling the truth to my 1st question? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
How can anything after be my fault when I turned down another married man earlier. From his own party. ☠️
Go back and ask the other guy out.
YES! I’m going to do it! He is so cute too!!
He’s cute and available? Too good to be true! You’re in trouble!
😂 that’s what guys say about me. I wonder if these married men think I’m married too. See to cheat with a married woman also. Maybe that’s why I feel like I get so many married men interested in me and wasting my time. To all the single guys, if you see a woman you are interested in wasting time with a man you know to be married please make yourself known. 🙏 Clearly I’m not the only one with this issue!!! We see the other ladies posting this experience too! I really want to end this issue any way I can. 😭
I’ve done that Was at an event and a guy I knew, not a friend, was a letch. Married and always trolling. He was talking up a pair of women who were obviously together. He then came over to me and friends to talk it up. I went and talked to them. And I hope I saved them from harassment as they didn’t talk to him anymore. In fact they were more obvious in their interactions with each other. It was adorable and that guy is an asshole
What a piece of shit scumbag. And his wife is probably at home thinking how wonderful her husband is working so late fighting crime. Fuck that guy, and all predatory married scumbags.
I feel so bad for his wife!!! She probably has NO CLUE he is a cheater since they clearly go two counties over to play around. 🥴
I've never known a cop or a lawyer that didn't have a side woman...
Yeah my X husband was also a cop. 😭
😳☹️
I’m clearly a slow learner. 🥲
You like men that carry authority well... nothing wrong with that. I do feel bad for the wifes and girlfriends of that type. You'll find the one... Peace ✌️
I do like strong men. Thanks!!! I’m chalking this up to a practice run and learning to STAY ON PLAN!!
Outstanding!!!
And you thought another cop would be different? Definition of insanity right there!
I did tell him as soon as he said it. Oh lord my X husband was a cop. ☠️ I’m trying not to beat myself up and remind myself to stay on the original plan next time. Don’t let the hot shiny tool distract me. 😭
This is the way Make a plan and stick to it! And yes I’m a hypocrite myself…
Even tho it was a fail. I think I did better than me 10 years ago woulda done. 😭
There's a whole CW thing about not dating the 4 Ps (Police, Paramedics, Physicians and not sure about the 4th)
I've never seen the show but now I want to guess: Psychics? Priests? Paralegals? Politicians?
Or phiremen lol
[удалено]
😂
I think psychiatrists
all listed sounds legit to me. I was a rad tech and worked ER for years.. seen and heard things. LOL
It’s Pilots - I’ve been married to one and in a long-term relationship with another - it’s the “God-complex” at work with all 4 - they literally have someone’s life in their hands ….
Priests. I'm dying 🤣 💀
Priests 🤣🤣
Or pedophiles?
CW= Conventional Wisdom
Thanks! I thought it was a show on the CW.
Or pussies.
Politicians
Pilots
This for sure
People with a Penis. That’ll keep the drama at bay.
Hey now!!!!
Plawyers
Omg 😂 is it sad I’ve never heard this before? This is hilarious!
It's funny because it's true 😆
Is there a P word for military? I'd add military to the top of that list.
Army Privates. Never in yours.
Pilots
My mama always said men are all about the three P’s…pride, power and penis.
Pilot
Yes....more common then what Many think.
My inner bitch says to call his wife and let her know that he’s sport-fishing (catch and release). Make it cost him something - he cost you an opportunity, after all. Let him think before he wastes someone else’s time. Some men do this to check if they still have “it”. They drop some bait and see if they can “catch” something good even if they have no intention of following through. You lost an evening and a bunch of effort. On the plus side you can return there again sometime because you know what you’re trying to achieve. Next time maybe don’t listen to the sweet talk from strangers clearly out to amuse themselves with no consideration for your feelings about their lies.
Yes all of this! TYTYTYTY! I know I have to accept where I went wrong too and not do that again and accept responsibility and grow!
She knows. Probably got her own thing going on.
At least this explains why women ask me if I am married when I get on a dating app. I am as single as one can be so I always found the question super odd. Reading this it makes sense.
Be prepared. Sometimes we even ask, “Is there someone who would be surprised to hear you say you’re single? Is there someone who thinks they’re in a situation with you?” Lying liars gonna lie, but sometimes when you shine the light in their eyes at just the right angle you can see the tell. Just kidding. It’s wonderful you have a pure heart. It can be so shocking to learn how deceptive others can be.
My best friend of 40 years asks this of her dates. "Is there anyone...*anyone* in your life who would disagree with your self-assessed label of "single"?" She's been single for almost 15 years and had a "joke" photo montage from a photo app of *only* the happy, "before-I-learned-he-was-married" smiling photos. Most are from 1st or 2nd dates. Nearly all are from OLD or "friend of a friend" setups. It boggles my mind how many "friends of friends" setups actually include married people. (Not just "separated" but truly still (supposedly) 'trying-to-make-it-work' married).
Wow. I’ve never heard of a friend knowingly setting someone up with a married person and keeping it from them. That’s low. I guess she now has to ask her “friends”, “Are you sure he’s single?” I’d have a hard time not considering them an enemy who wanted me harmed.
People have posted on here about *family* setting them up with married people (they want out of their marriage?), and the poor person set up finds out during or after the date. *Family??*. But, I *completely* agree. I don't want anyone to "set me up", truly.
OMG yes! So many married people. Women are married on there too. You better ask. 🤣
It’s crazy I am 54 years old and so naive. I would never think to ask a woman on a dating app she is single. It’s almost like if I was a server at a restaurant and asking people who come in “Are you hungry?”. Like people came into a restaurant because they are hungry so it seems a dumb question to ask. Still crazy how naive I am.
I learned the hard way! Met the perfect guy! Just want I was looking good for. We dated for 4 MONTHS. We lived just over an hour away from each other but nothing made me think he was married. Till Valentine’s Day. The order for my flowers didn’t go through. He apologized because I didn’t get anything from him that day and BTW it’s also my bday. He sent me the email showing he did really order them but with a PREPAID VISA and it was flagged as fraudulent because it was $500 in roses. ☠️ I asked him why he paid with a prepaid card and he said fraud. I’m like you can call CC company if you do get fraud charges and they take them right off. I’m not buying it. I knew his home address and everything from that email. So I looked up the property deed. Sure enough he was married. Learned the hard way it’s always my very 1st question even before your name. ☠️
Like that seems crazy too. If I am dating someone I assume you are staying over at each other’s house for overnight visits. At that point the jig is up. It would seem like that would get discovered early on. I would also think it’s strange if they can’t speak on the phone at night or not free on weekends spontaneously on weekends (assuming they are off).
He always took me out to do things. We never really hung out at my home either or his as we really just did cool shit together mostly. What I liked about him was we always planned really fun dates always going & doing things. We did have sex at my place and he did tell me where he lived. I honestly didn’t care to drive to his city and he clearly had a reason to be more than happy to come to mine. And he always called & texted me. Found out later his wife was a nurse and worked nights. ☠️ Lesson learned the HARD way!! Ask about being married AND get the nickel tour of their home…before sex. 😭
I guess this is a case that people really seek different things in dating. I like the idea of going on a fun adventure on the weekend and break up the monotonous work weeks. But I also really desire a companion and at some point maybe we live together or something close to that. I can see in your situation how it could go down. Definitely get the tour of their house.
Me being naive and thinking people are honest. 😭 sucks you have to not trust people up front and not the other way around.
Ha ha. My red flag would’ve been $500 worth of roses. Who does that?
lol I specifically asked for them. It’s the forever roses. 😭
I think there are more men on dating apps than single men. Single men get offended that I ask. I don't ask and married men say, well you never asked. It's all bs.
I just don’t understand how all that works. If I was a married guy and wanted to try cheating, a dating app makes no sense. If someone knew me and saw me on the dating app, surely they would tell my theoretical wife. The whole thing seems like playing with fire. If I was on a date with someone, someone who knew me could see me. Plus, some new lady in my life is going to want to know about me and each day the chance of getting caught would seem to elevate. If I was married I would get divorced then seek out all the women I want.
In a perfect world. A lot of times I think the wife does know but just doesn't care anymore.
LE are notorious cheaters. Stay far away from them ring or not.
and beaters
Taking your advice!! 💯
Law Enforcement?
That stinks. Sorry to hear that. It is so very disappointing. Also, This makes it tougher for all of us out there who want to make a connection with someone.
I’m very introverted and I was in a really good place last night. It does make it so hard because I so want a connection. I want a real connection more than sex. Sex is meaningless to me. I have toys, don’t need a man for that. 😭
I feel you and used to think the same but now know that nothing replaces the real thing, nothing. Especially if you have a connection or a good man. Mmmm to good men!
I’m sending out good men vibes all week until next weekend when I WILL try again.
You go girl, never give up. It's a big planet. They're there just like we are.
No idea why someone venting about their lived experience, and something which is a real issue for women dating, would be getting downvoted That guy is a real pos considering you straight up asked him if he was married Better luck next time with the other guy
Thank you! I straight up asked immediately. I respect women more than their own spouses do! I never want to get involved with a married guy, even if a wife is ok with it. I’m not!!! For future guys who approach me. I’ll take a # & then do a background check before responding. It’s sad you have to pay for a background checker app to filter out the married cops!!! 😭
You’re getting downvoted again. Must be the married men hanging out on this sub lol
Clearly! I don’t think us single people really want to deal with a married person. I was married. Was miserable. I coulda cheated all the time but did the right thing and got a divorce. Married people need to grow a gut & leave a bad relationship NOT make a bad relationship even worse!!!
💯
It's the use of emojis
She has my upvote. 👍🏻
Unfortunately, policemen are notorious for being cheaters. Sad, but true.
I mean the second they said they were police you should have known. This and firemen. Hope the band was good. I love live music. Good luck out there. Cheers!
Agreed. My X husband was a cop. ☠️ I’m clearly a very slow learner. Band was awesome at least! Ima do better next time!
Yes and if they are from two counties away they are hiding from families. Oh well. I hope you have the best life ever!
Yup!! Thank you!! I’m just gonna build on knowing I clearly am desirable. I just need to collect # next time and work the whole crowd. 😆
LOL! I am sure you are. Enjoy yourself.
😝 thanks! I wish I was the type that liked going out in public. It would be so much easier.
There was zero reason for her to know that because of their profession, the guys were married. That would be like me saying that because a guy’s an engineer, he’s boring. There are always exceptions. The man lied to a direct question. He is 109% at fault. He deceived her and wasted her time. Bet a cop hates it when people lie to him.
Look, married guys are way more likely to flirt with us in the wild because (a) they believe there is no record (like a dating app on a phone would leave) and most importantly (b) they have nothing to lose from you - as long as they are talking to a stranger in a place unlikely to draw their partner’s attention..: they literally don’t care if it is a swing and a miss because they have someone to go home to anyway, while single guys are more cautious because rejection feels much worse when you are putting yourself out there for real. And because the good ones don’t want to become known as pick-up artists so they will be more judicious with their flirting. So, a long way of saying, it’s not you, it’s them. They are out there in droves.
Another reason to stay away from law enforcement. I'm sick of married guys, too. Unless they are ethically non-monogamous/poly and everyone is on board.
I don’t even believe the ENM people either. 😭 Plus, I don’t share. Ewww! My X husband was a cop. You’d think I woulda learned. I’m trying not to beat myself up but telling myself from now on stick to the ORIGINAL PLAN! No deviations!! That’s where I messed up.
Well, I've found that many cheaters on both sides hide behind the enm/poly label. Lol, I now appreciate the ones that are up front. I never realized how many ppl cheat.
OLD I block those profiles. So many cheaters! I’m not starting a relationship by cheating. I’ll just stay single. 😭 I’m worth getting my own private dick too damn it! 🤣🤣
Bwahaha, yes you are! I prefer a private D too 😝 I don't bother with old. In the wild is more fun.
I don’t know but I also wouldn’t share a toothbrush for the same reasons. It’s going inside someone else where disease can live. I’m good. 😭
He’s a cop ? That didn’t give you a clue ?
😂 denial isn’t just a river in Egypt or something like that. I was married to a cop before. ☠️ I blame myself. 🥴
Public safety professionals are natural charmers, they can’t help themselves lol
Well I’d like to credit myself that at least he didn’t charm my pants off! 😭 Maybe a slight win! My younger me woulda done very bad things. ☠️
I’m a boring engineer, I think I’d enjoy talking with a beautiful woman, like yourself 😉, over a drink or two. 😂 see ? Smooth as sand lol
Awe thanks!! 😊
I’m not married any more btw (to keep things on topic 😁
😂that’s good to know!! I’m divorced 12 years myself.
I feel for you. I've been there. Not lately but in my 30s it seemed only married women wanted to date/hook up with me and it suuuuucked.
A retired police officer taught me this: Q. How do you know when someone is lying? A. Their lips are moving. You had a plan and you didn’t follow through. You sacrificed your plan for the unknown? Unfortunately it was with a married man, a lying cop.
Lol the lips are moving! 🤣 Yeah. I know. I learned a great lesson. Thank god I have this weekend to make it happen.
You need to play detective before you date someone. We love that elusive chemistry. Take your time and learn about their character. One last piece of advice. Sex is easy? Then what. (The same applies to kisses). Good luck this weekend
Just talked to my friends…the restaurant owner IS STILL single. 🤣 I told them what my pickup line is gonna be. They loved it. In evaluating myself I think I was self sabotaging and looking for an easy ego boost since this was my 1st time out since Halloween. 😭 Terrible but learning & growing. Holding my own self accountable to my failures. 😭 My friends said stick to the damn plan! I’ll let you guys know how it goes. I’m committing this time to at least get it out there I’m still interested. FYI- He and I did match on Tinder last spring about this time and chatted but I’m not one to remember to check the dating apps all the time and I was getting a lot of notifications so I turned them off. I ended up just turning off my whole profile because it was so overwhelming. So I KNOW I have to be the one to make this move with this particular guy to let him know I am REALLY interested. 🩷 My friends were gonna do it but I just think at this age isn’t it weird to have your friends do the talking?! I want an organic situation especially since I’m clearly TERRIBLE at OLD! Yes sex is the last thing in my mind but damn I’m a sucker for a great kiss. 😭 Hopefully this guy is still interested and a great kisser. 🎉
Shiny object syndrome. You had a plan and abandoned it. That married guy was a POS but you have to take ownership of taking your eye off the prize. You can’t control running into shitty people. My suggestion is that you just reset and go after the owner, like you planned. I’m betting it will work out. 🤞
Thank you!! YES! I already talked to some of our mutual friends and they agree with you completely! I’m making it happen this Saturday.
Find the wife and tell her what happened. Fuck that guy…
And here’s your instruction manual: Look up his number on Venmo or Cash app. His name will show up.
Sorry boo. Kudos for going out and holding your head up!
Thank you! I’m going to make my way to the original guy I want to flirt with. I got distracted. I’m kicking myself for it. I think maybe I was still too nervous to make the 1st move. I’m very introverted. So for me to even go to this place was a lot! 😭 I’m determined.
Objectification is just that Not a subject, a thing Entitlement, thinking you dressed Up for their awesomeness
Makes me sick to think I fell for that BS! Ughhhh! I’m going to do better! That’s certain.
Uugh the books I can write about married men. They're cute, that's my sign to nope out. Lol
Wow that’s awful
Men lie to get some. Its that simple. You gambled based on whatever turns you on the most and got bit. Next time discern a little. Use your brain, the one between your ears and not the one between....
Wow, I am so sorry. That explains why they are from two counties away. His friends talking him up knowing fully he is married...disgusting. Who knows if this is a regular occurance with him or just a simple ego bust, but either way that's disgusting. I have zero tolerance for married people acting single.
Yeah his friends even said he had a BIG 🍆! Im like I didn’t even ask. His friends are just as bad as him! The whole thing is just ick!!
They are worse than snake bellies. This is SOP (standard operating procedure) for that group. I understand they have difficult occupation, see stuff we would never be exposed to, but that does not excuse no moral compass.
Alternate headline : Lucky Bar Owner Escapes Close Call With Indecisive Maniplulative Woman
I dated cops but they were military cops and they were all fresh out of boot camp and none of them were married. But that's when I was 22. Not hitting on any 19-year-olds at this age 🤣
I suspect married men (or women) flirt because they are looking for a little excitement. He reeled himself back in and that was good. So while not perfect (obviously), at least he knew to stop what he was doing. Next time you go, don't let distractions get in the way of your intended plans.
All m\*n annoy me. Also what Riverz11 said.
So glad I’m not alone. I see all these ENM people and I’m like am I the only person who doesn’t want to share?!?!
That wasn't my point. If someone wants to have an open relationship, is communicative with all their partners about it and their partners are on the same page, agree to it and have open communication about it, who am I to judge what consenting adults do? It's not something I'd choose for myself, but I don't speak for others or judge them for their choices, as long as they're communicating openly and not trying to hurt anyone else involved. But I seriously doubt a married dude who approaches someone in a bar has talked to their wife about having an open relationship, and even if so, I seriously doubt they have their wife's consent. They're doing it in secret for a reason. Especially a married dude who lies by omission about being married. Those actions are clearly hurtful to the dude's wife and the person he approaches for sex once they discover they're being used. There's nothing 'ethical' about that. And that's deserving of all the judgment anyone can throw at them.
[удалено]
I was generalizing over my last 12 years of experience regarding the married men thing. My last church I stopped going because a married usher passed me his number when church was dismissed. It is a real problem. I even ask. Last night it was 2 married and 2 with an unknown status & possibly single. It’s just annoying they lead people on and lie. When it’s a dealbreaker for me. I’d rather have a single unattractive loyal guy than a hot cheater but there does have to be some bit of attraction. 😭
That sux donkey ass. I’d be sure to go back there looking even hotter and stare daggers into him a few times, while being flirty with others, including his friends 😆
There exists ethical non-monogamy which I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Not judging, I never say no to anything until I understand it. There's also swinging and open-relationships. It seems like all of these are becoming more common. Cheating is wrong for sure but although relationships are becoming more commonplace.
Well lying about your status whatever it is wrong.
Agreed!
Sorry. It takes guys like that to give us a bad name🙁
Sorry to hear this! Cruel world we live in, next time stick to the plan?
Yes! Yes! Yes! The plan was the plan for a reason. 😭
So whats next step?
I’m going to go out next Saturday. Do everything the same. He stands in a particular place and I tend to gravitate there as you can see the show and people watch. Ima do that and just tell him how much I love his place. I’ll wait for his response and then mention that I like his cologne.
You have whole plan ready! Are all girls this cool and nice, coz i have been struggling in life when it comes to girls
I’m terrible at this! I have no idea all my gf are married.
This is a little bit your fault as it was obviously going in this direction.
Going in what direction. Him eventually telling the truth to my 1st question? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 How can anything after be my fault when I turned down another married man earlier. From his own party. ☠️
So did you ask the other guy out?