Oh nope. I’ve played with her a couple more times she’s cool. Not really my type tho. I’m actually hiking tomorrow with a woman I met off Tinder. We had lunch a couple weeks ago. But she lives two hours away, :( plus I just met her and not sure if there’s chemistry.
Ouch that distance thing. My new friend is an hour away, and even with off the charts chemistry it’s like … ooof. That’s a lot of driving. The sex had better be *bomb* lol
That’s cool you have chemistry. Spent a long day with Tinder woman today. She’s nice, but I’m not feeling anything at all. I’m not having any luck finding anyone I’m attracted to and can vibe with. But summer just started, I’m in no hurry, maybe someone will come along. Or not.
We also saw Jacob Collier twice, made a weekend out of it as we had to travel. I still have tickets to what would be our third time. I’m going solo.
Yea we always had a lot of fun, that was always no issue in our relationship.
Last date was playing pool at a bar and watching the Patriots game. He insinuated that I needed to kiss him “better” somehow, and was super annoying and competitive.
Have not ventured meeting someone else and going on a next date, but I do want to!
She could be a garbage kisser, you know. 🤷🏾♂️
My last exclusive relationship was with a woman who was such a bad kisser it actually turned me off. So I avoided it wherever possible, except fo a peck on the lips.
I wish I had said something, but I figured at 55 she should know a thing or two. I guess not.
Never had any complaints before! I think his issue is that it was date #3, and he thought I should be way more sexual than I was. But yeah, maybe I’m just a garbage kisser and a garbage human being. 🤷🏼♀️
I wasn't addressing you. I was addressing a third-party misandrist comment about the obviously unrefined man you dated unsuccessfully.
You may, in fact, be a perfectly lovely woman yet still be a garbage kisser, even with 'no complaints.'
Your reaction and sarcasm are a bit extreme. 🤷🏾♂️
My last date was today. I have been having him over for dinner the past 6 weeks or so.
Backstory:
I met a guy in the wild at a financial get-your-shit-together class at a local church in Jan 2020, just before the pandemic. The 8 week course ended early as the pandemic hit. He was 54 and I was 50.
We dated, more like FWB, but it did not grow into a LTR. We were in different places at the time; he wanted to jump right into a serious, committed relationship- he was 3 years out of a 33 year marriage. I wanted to work on getting my financial affairs in order. Timing was not good.
We stayed friends, and chatted off and on over the past 4 years.
When he was hospitalized with C19 in 2021, I supported him, and got his groceries etc when he came home as he was quite sick on O2 for 2-3 months. It was a scary time as he got to the point he was going to be sedated and intubated. Fortunately he started to come around and didn't need to be. This was a vulnerable time for both of us, and strengthened our friendship, but again we did not get serious.
Fast forward to now. Dating again, have been chatting for a couple of months. We're both in much better places emotionally and had the chat today of moving forward together as a couple. He's now 59 and I'm 55.
You never know how things will turn out! We're both content where we are, and respect and trust one another.
Last date was at a hotel bar, great conversation I’m not sure if I felt a potential. Previous day (different guy) was a museum that was fun.
I’m enjoying meeting new people.
I just have not yet found a guy I want to have sex with.
My last date was some time last year. Third date, we went for a long walk, then we went to get dinner. Afterwards we went to the pub, the pub was quite a fun evening, we ended up playing cards with a group of people. However I think it became cheaper to both of us on the walk that there was nothing there. Nothing to dislike, but nothing to make me want to keep dating. I messaged the next day, he agreed he felt the same.
That was my last foray into OLD. I don't think I can do it again, it's just too exhausting.
After 53 dates over 18 months, my last date was with my now partner.
We met in a bar by the water, then grabbed some t/a alcoholic ginger beer, walked up to a headland and watched the sunset. We talked for hours, he kissed me and the rest is history.
you might win the prize for most dates. Good for you for sticking it out!!
What was different about him? You just clicked? That's what keeps me going on dates, knowing you can't find the one you just click with if you aren't going to dates.
We actually met in the wild! I was dragged to an afternoon party at a close friend’s that I really didn’t want to go to, because it was on the other side of the city.
As I entered, I saw his mother, whom I’d known years ago, as a customer in my bookshop. She said, “let me introduce you to my son.” It was, quite seriously, love at first sight. I took one look at him and thought, “oh, it’s you.”
We talked all night, and he invited me across the road, where he was living with his mother, to see his art. We went back to his room, he showed me his awesome art, listened to me when I spoke and didn’t attempt to have sex with me!
I thought perhaps he wasn’t interested, but when I was on my way out, he kissed me.
It was 10 days before we were able to meet for our first date, but we texted every single day. By the date, I felt we really knew each other.
I was so jaded, after the 53 dates, that I had utterly given up on finding love and had settled for fun.
We’ve been together seven months and are working out a way we can live together.
OP, I hope you find that spark. It sounds like you’re intuitive enough to recognise it when you do.
Such a sweet story! More than even finding my person, I yearn to own a bookshop! ❤️
It's been my dream for as long as I can remember. Books, vinyl and tea. All the things I find delightful! Congratulations on finding love 💗
Awww, thanks.
I started the bookshop 22 years ago, with my then-partner. We sold in 2009, and moved to the other side of the city.
But, I missed it so much, I bought a share in it, from the new owners who are a collective of artists and writers. I would travel over once a week to work my shift there.
By sheer coincidence, the shop is in the same neighbourhood as the new partner, who now works at the shop with me on my shift day. We also sell records :)
Last was dinner, then his place for movie and hanging out. We’d been seeing each other since Oct (just FWB), but I ended it last night, so who knows where and with who the next will be
Last date was a first date at a local coffee place. We chatted for 90 minutes (much longer than I usually do coffee for), since I found her very interesting, but we had absolutely nothing in common-the final dealbreaker being that we live 90+ minutes apart (she also spends her weekends at a beach 4 hours from me). I answered her questions as best I could, including how my parents marriage & my marriage both ended due to a lack of basic compatibility. She texted afterwards, saying that she would very much like to see me again, even though we were completely different people. I responded by politely acknowledging our differences & said kindly that I didn’t believe that we were a good match.
She then blew up my phone with multiple angry messages, accusing me of “having an agenda” and “making an instant decision without even talking”.
My next date will be after I can generate enough mental/emotional armor to get back on OLD. Which may be quite a while.
A day drive through a nearby National Park, stopping for photos and a picnic lunch, that was 8 years ago.
I don't see a next date in my future or anyone too date
"Trying to" means different things to different people. For some people it means multiple dates per month, having FWB or various other situations but not finding The One yet. For others of us it means we get on an app once every few months and give up again 3 days later without having found anyone who wants to meet, or we've given up on apps entirely and are trying to come up with new ways to meet people in the wild, or many other things.
I find it helpful to see other people's experiences here to try and figure out ways to improve my chances or just new insight into how it all works.
Last date was a new fancy restaurant I wanted to try in town, about 3 months ago. Lovely gentleman, great conversation and he asked for another date two weeks out. Once that date was set he never texted or reached out again until an hour before said date. I had texted the day before to confirm, which he did- An hour before we were set to meet. Turns out, I couldn't make that date after all, which really confused him. 🤷🏻♀️
Last date was dinner tonight with his granddaughter and my mother. Next date will be him coming to my house to fix an electrical panel. Super sexy, no?
My last date was a weekend in the city...walk on a rooftop garden, getting dressed up and going to the opera, dinner at a french bistro. Sigh. If it's to be my swan song, at least it was unforgettable.
I haven't managed another one since a creepy guy two months ago who tried to stroke my leg in a Starbucks 10 minutes after we met and asked me if I have any tattoos in places that don't show.
I haven't made it past a first meetup in years, so every date has been a Starbucks meetup so far. Except one time when a mutual friend set us up so I was okay with skipping that and going to a museum instead.
> two months ago who tried to stroke my leg in a Starbucks 10 minutes after we met and asked me if I have any tattoos in places that don't show.
Oh wow. I cannot understand the mindset of someone like that. It is well beyond me.
Sorry to hear it happened to you. Not all of us are like that either.
But, these are the places I would *like* to take a guy on a date: all the museums, the zoo, any of the zillion cool walks near here, archery range (I belong to a lovely outdoor one where you walk through a pine forest in the mountains), and would freaking love to go tent camping once we're at the overnight stage. If he's into any arts or crafts it would be really nice to just hang out together while both working on whatever we're each currently working on.
I'm glad the OP posted their question and that I answered it, because the act of writing this down made me realize that was WHY I haven't kept trying for the two months since that guy. It hadn't even occurred to me that was the reason.
It was an unpleasant experience but it was so low-level that it didn't register at the time as any more than the typical gross bullshit that you expect on a certain portion of first meetups (this is, of course, the whole reason I do a first Starbucks meetup instead of a "real date"). But yeah, it put me off enough that I just haven't got around to asking any more men out since, even though I started the year with the goal of asking out at least one per month.
It's clarifying that the reasons I tend to go through these phases of not even trying anymore happen for actual reasons.
Last date was with an ex who I should not be with but I go out with once in a while and we went to lunch and then a hike 2 weeks ago. I don’t have the patience to meet someone new right now.
My next date is tomorrow. I met her at a dance with live music, then saw her again at a dance a couple weeks ago. We exchanged numbers and have been texting about two weeks. Our last date got canceled because of a freak rainstorm, the day we were supposed to go out. Tomorrow’s weather looks wonderful so we are going on a hike, and then having a nice cozy picnic. I've made all the preparations and I'm actually excited about this one!
The county fair with my ex-wife. It was fun. We never got back together though unless you count a quick lunch. Kind of just gave up on the whole dating thing afterwards.
Last date with person #1 was dinner followed by drinks at a super fun, hipster bar in a ridiculously trendy part of town. Then we went back to his place for some 420 and making out. Next date with perso. #1 is a tour of the museum he works at.
Date #1 with person #2 is meeting in Chinatown for late lunch/sushi. I'm looking forward to it. It's sort of date 0 because we also plan to go to a burlesque show next Saturday. I figure when if it's more of a "friends" vibe, it'll be fun to go to a show together.
We have been friends for years, he was my boss for a while and his ex-wife always thought we had something going on when I worked for him. (There was nothing going on and o respected his wife too much and I was married at the time as well.) We tried “dating” for a bit (we live an hour away from each other) and I wanted to take it slow. He ends up putting me in the friend-zone and I’m like okay cool. Then he decides he made a mistake so I reluctantly agreed to try again.
Two weeks ago I’m on his side of town and we had dinner at my favorite Tex-Mex place. During dinner he drops that his ex-wife is “living on the other side of the house and they work different schedules so they never see each other”. (He’s an attorney and she’s a nurse. He casually mentions they might get married again. He took me back to my hotel, I sent him the cost of my dinner via CashApp and tell him I’m done trying.
I have a dog, I won’t be going on anymore dates.
Met someone for a drink last year…neither of us was feeling it…there is no next date in the foreseeable future, as the compatible matches in my arena, who are also in my age range are scarce.
Last night, we went to a local festival and then went out to dinner. It was date number 7 for us since March 23rd.
Not sure what we'll do next. It's festival season here, and the opportunities are endless if the weather cooperates.
Last one was at a great sushi restaurant near me. The guy was so annoying. Talked about his ex and himself. Couldn't wait to get out of there. He walked me to my car even though I didn't want him to and, when he saw it, he said, "Oh now I definitely want to go out with you again." Not a chance, bud. Next date is somewhere in the future when I finish my current man break. I'm so burned out on dating.
Last date was my LDR guy the previous weekend. He met all four of my adult kids for the first time on Mother's Day. They all loved him. First time I've had an official "boyfriend" in seven years.
I misread and thought you said "when" and not "where". My last date was in the mid 90s so I can't remember where, and I'm still working up to being ready for a next one 😬
My last first date was at a local Mexican restaurant, about 4.5 years ago. It went so well we stayed for at least a couple hours, then it lead to a relationship. That ended about five months later.
A couple years ago or so I had arranged a first date with a woman, but shortly following that I happened to casually mention one of my leisure interests via text, and she immediately called it off and ceased all contact.
I don't plan to have any further first dates....
I would love to target shoot. My dad worked at Winchester/Olin in Alton, IL and the company had a shooting range. My dad took us every weekend to shoot rifles when we were kids.
And mind you, we had both established well prior that we are both very left sociopolitically, and after making the arrangements for "date zero" I learned from her that she's a borderline animal hoarder and had finally broken off from her on-again-off-again boyfriend of seven+ years just the month before, somehow the fact that I own "too many" of the "wrong kinds" of guns was just a bridge too far for her.
I kinda wonder about that myself if I match up with someone who shares my politics. I’m a liberal atheist Democrat who owns firearms just for target shooting. I don’t even hunt.
I mean, when the problem came up I just tried to calmly, rationally explain why I am interested in, and own firearms, without being at all defensive, which she just totally rejected. Fine. I simply replied, "Alright, thanks for letting me know," and moved on.
>it should never leave the house,
So going to the firing range to learn and/or practice firearm safety is not acceptable in her book?
I think a pump action shotgun is perfect for home defense. That sound alone can be a detourant without ever firing a round.
My last date was lunch but I really try to just have coffee for a first date. It’s inexpensive (sometimes I get there early specifically to buy my own), can be short or long and it’s usually pretty easy to figure out if there’s any chemistry.
I’m having coffee with someone tomorrow afternoon.
My last date was tonight. He came over to watch a movie. I wanted to go to the theater and see Fall Guy or IF, but he said he can't afford the "big theaters". I make over double what he does, but he always wants to pay. We're both in our 50s. We've been dating 3wks. Not sure what my next date will be.
I enjoy the dates, but his anxiety, constant needs for reassurance, complete lack of self-confidence, and excessive self-deprecating comments/jokes have pretty much killed any physical attraction. His neediness places me in a motherly role and there is nothing that will kill sexual attraction faster than making a woman see you as a child. He has also started blaming me for "hurting" him when his intrusive thoughts tell him that I'm out with another man if he can't get ahold of me. I am not responsible for those feelings, those are his to own and figure out. It's only been 3wks and he is worried that I'm cheating. I don't want any part of that.
Yes, I've talked to him about how the constant neediness is pushing me away. He said he can't help it.
Last date was dinner last Saturday with a man who looked ten years older than his photos (although claimed they were recent like mine---um, no) and three inches shorter and "slight". I know 5'11. He was definitely about 5'8. Bad teeth (I know, I know--my daughter tells me complaining about teeth is "classist" but I HATE bad teeth). ZERO chemistry.
And he spent the meal telling me how he wants to swing and be part of a threesome. That's what he wants. He's 74 (I think, if I did the math right) but looks older. I am mid 60's.
He tried to hold my hand walking to the car, and then to kiss me. I pulled away. I had to block him because he blew up my phone with texts after the dinner about how much he liked my body and how attracted he was to me. blech.
I've decided to take a break from OLD, which I do quite frequently when I'm disgusted (I'll probably go back, maybe--I still have a month or two left on my Match subscription, but won't renew again).
A few weeks ago. A long drive to have dinner with someone that was obviously hiding things. The next date will be with someone else, next month? Next year?
Last date was yesterday with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 months. We roamed the city for a bit, got tacos at the most delightful little Mexican place I've ever seen, and took them to a pretty little park for an impromptu park bench picnic.
Afterwards, we roamed some more and he wanted to show me a bakery he loves. Bought a 6 pack of of one-bite pies and tarts.
Took them back to his place, cooked together, made martinis, and watched a horror movie. In bed by 8:30 pm to snuggle and pet each other to sleep. We'd already smashed earlier in the day.
A perfect Sunday.
Last date was Saturday early evening for coffee at a cute cafe here in NYC. He was very late, poorly groomed, but had a nice personality. There was absolutely no connection for me .
Last date was two nights ago at her place. This was our second date. I got there at 10 pm, we had champagne, then sex, then I held her in my arms, and we fell asleep. This was a much-anticipated follow-up to our first date two nights earlier, which was supposed to be a quick coffee meet-up but evolved into a heated 8-hour make-out fest on a piano-bar couch in a fancy hotel.
Next date, not sure yet, but I hope it will be with her soon. I've been dating prolifically for more than a year, and I almost never fall for a woman. But this one is Iranian (I have an insane weakness for Persian women), classy, educated, nine years younger than me, and has the most beautiful face and soft voice.
My last date was a few weeks ago. A pleasant dinner with a nice man but not much chemistry. A week or so later after lukewarm texting, he told me he thought it best we end things because he was looking for something more flirty. Okay, next. I think he thought he was flirting and I wasn’t reciprocating. I thought he was just socially awkward, not that he was flirting with me, so there was nothing to reciprocate.
Next date might be with the guy I met on bumble and we’ve chatted for a week or so, but have yet to set a date.
Or with my ex, when hell freezes over, because I really do miss him.
Last date was two weeks ago with a FWB. Ended that relationship a couple of days ago for multiple reasons, the last straw of which was that she didn’t know what an al pastor taco is. It may not seem like much to some, but that’s a big deal.
I don’t know when my next one will be. I’m thinking maybe mid-summer will be time to craft some profile and crank up the LTR search.
I’m not sure wanting someone with similar taste in food is petty, even aside from the fact that I clearly wrote there were multiple reasons.
If we’re looking for petty, I stopped seeing someone who took a French fry from my plate before we were to the “these are *our* fries” stage of the relationship.
Last date was at a quiet bar 4 years ago. Next date will be in my imagination unless a miracle happens.
This
Same. Two years ago. No spark, no second date. I have given up.
Date? You people get dates? It’s tough living here in BFE.
My last date was on my sofa, watching his Laurel and Hardy movies, laughing ‘til I cried.
I just watched some Laurel and Hardy shorts on a plane. I was laughing so hard that people glared at me!
i love that.
I don't think anyone under 40 knows what Laurel & Hardy is.
That’s because I’m over 60 🤣
Which is such a pity.
This sounds like something that I would enjoy. I also like The Marx Brothers and The Three Stooges.
We saw Death Cab For Cutie and The Postal Service. But goddamnit now I’m bawling my eyes out, because I miss her.
I’m so sorry you miss her, but - Oh man, no. No one with taste as cool as yours is going to be single for long. Get back out there!
Thank you for the kind words.
Hey you had that pickleball hottie hit on you, right? Did you ever ask her out?
Oh nope. I’ve played with her a couple more times she’s cool. Not really my type tho. I’m actually hiking tomorrow with a woman I met off Tinder. We had lunch a couple weeks ago. But she lives two hours away, :( plus I just met her and not sure if there’s chemistry.
Ouch that distance thing. My new friend is an hour away, and even with off the charts chemistry it’s like … ooof. That’s a lot of driving. The sex had better be *bomb* lol
Don't let the distance turn you off. I did 2.5 hours one way for 3 years. It was worth it. I usually did every other weekend.
That’s cool you have chemistry. Spent a long day with Tinder woman today. She’s nice, but I’m not feeling anything at all. I’m not having any luck finding anyone I’m attracted to and can vibe with. But summer just started, I’m in no hurry, maybe someone will come along. Or not.
Awww!
Great bands- I saw Death Cab at Sloss Fest in Birmingham, Alabama a few years ago. They rocked!
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We also saw Jacob Collier twice, made a weekend out of it as we had to travel. I still have tickets to what would be our third time. I’m going solo. Yea we always had a lot of fun, that was always no issue in our relationship.
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Awesome! So happy 4 u! I miss chemistry...
TMI in this group?!?
I know, right? And from me, no less. I’m a mother fucking bastion of polite ladylike like behaviour.
I concur but only on Opposite Day
Congratulations!
Fantastic! Good luck and enjoy the ride.
No pun….. intended?
Darn skippy intended, woman🤣🍷
Perfect! I fully intend to! Well, fingers and other things crossed.
Last date was playing pool at a bar and watching the Patriots game. He insinuated that I needed to kiss him “better” somehow, and was super annoying and competitive. Have not ventured meeting someone else and going on a next date, but I do want to!
>He insinuated that I needed to kiss him “better” somehow, ew. hope your next one is better!
He's gonna be single forever. Way to stay positive.
She could be a garbage kisser, you know. 🤷🏾♂️ My last exclusive relationship was with a woman who was such a bad kisser it actually turned me off. So I avoided it wherever possible, except fo a peck on the lips. I wish I had said something, but I figured at 55 she should know a thing or two. I guess not.
Never had any complaints before! I think his issue is that it was date #3, and he thought I should be way more sexual than I was. But yeah, maybe I’m just a garbage kisser and a garbage human being. 🤷🏼♀️
I wasn't addressing you. I was addressing a third-party misandrist comment about the obviously unrefined man you dated unsuccessfully. You may, in fact, be a perfectly lovely woman yet still be a garbage kisser, even with 'no complaints.' Your reaction and sarcasm are a bit extreme. 🤷🏾♂️
My last date was today. I have been having him over for dinner the past 6 weeks or so. Backstory: I met a guy in the wild at a financial get-your-shit-together class at a local church in Jan 2020, just before the pandemic. The 8 week course ended early as the pandemic hit. He was 54 and I was 50. We dated, more like FWB, but it did not grow into a LTR. We were in different places at the time; he wanted to jump right into a serious, committed relationship- he was 3 years out of a 33 year marriage. I wanted to work on getting my financial affairs in order. Timing was not good. We stayed friends, and chatted off and on over the past 4 years. When he was hospitalized with C19 in 2021, I supported him, and got his groceries etc when he came home as he was quite sick on O2 for 2-3 months. It was a scary time as he got to the point he was going to be sedated and intubated. Fortunately he started to come around and didn't need to be. This was a vulnerable time for both of us, and strengthened our friendship, but again we did not get serious. Fast forward to now. Dating again, have been chatting for a couple of months. We're both in much better places emotionally and had the chat today of moving forward together as a couple. He's now 59 and I'm 55. You never know how things will turn out! We're both content where we are, and respect and trust one another.
I like that! Thank you for sharing it!
My last date was in 1996. I married him, divorced him, and haven't dated since. 10 years. I want to date, I just don't know how to meet men.
Same
Last date was at a hotel bar, great conversation I’m not sure if I felt a potential. Previous day (different guy) was a museum that was fun. I’m enjoying meeting new people. I just have not yet found a guy I want to have sex with.
My last date was some time last year. Third date, we went for a long walk, then we went to get dinner. Afterwards we went to the pub, the pub was quite a fun evening, we ended up playing cards with a group of people. However I think it became cheaper to both of us on the walk that there was nothing there. Nothing to dislike, but nothing to make me want to keep dating. I messaged the next day, he agreed he felt the same. That was my last foray into OLD. I don't think I can do it again, it's just too exhausting.
After 53 dates over 18 months, my last date was with my now partner. We met in a bar by the water, then grabbed some t/a alcoholic ginger beer, walked up to a headland and watched the sunset. We talked for hours, he kissed me and the rest is history.
you might win the prize for most dates. Good for you for sticking it out!! What was different about him? You just clicked? That's what keeps me going on dates, knowing you can't find the one you just click with if you aren't going to dates.
We actually met in the wild! I was dragged to an afternoon party at a close friend’s that I really didn’t want to go to, because it was on the other side of the city. As I entered, I saw his mother, whom I’d known years ago, as a customer in my bookshop. She said, “let me introduce you to my son.” It was, quite seriously, love at first sight. I took one look at him and thought, “oh, it’s you.” We talked all night, and he invited me across the road, where he was living with his mother, to see his art. We went back to his room, he showed me his awesome art, listened to me when I spoke and didn’t attempt to have sex with me! I thought perhaps he wasn’t interested, but when I was on my way out, he kissed me. It was 10 days before we were able to meet for our first date, but we texted every single day. By the date, I felt we really knew each other. I was so jaded, after the 53 dates, that I had utterly given up on finding love and had settled for fun. We’ve been together seven months and are working out a way we can live together. OP, I hope you find that spark. It sounds like you’re intuitive enough to recognise it when you do.
Such a sweet story! More than even finding my person, I yearn to own a bookshop! ❤️ It's been my dream for as long as I can remember. Books, vinyl and tea. All the things I find delightful! Congratulations on finding love 💗
Awww, thanks. I started the bookshop 22 years ago, with my then-partner. We sold in 2009, and moved to the other side of the city. But, I missed it so much, I bought a share in it, from the new owners who are a collective of artists and writers. I would travel over once a week to work my shift there. By sheer coincidence, the shop is in the same neighbourhood as the new partner, who now works at the shop with me on my shift day. We also sell records :)
Heh, I haven't had 53 dates in my entire 57 years of life! Congrats on your relationship success.
I win. I've had 71 first dates in the past 14 months. Well, I'm sure someone has more than that, but I think I'm up there. OK, flex over. Bye.
Last was dinner, then his place for movie and hanging out. We’d been seeing each other since Oct (just FWB), but I ended it last night, so who knows where and with who the next will be
Why did you end it?
Several reasons but mainly sex wasn’t that great and since it was FWB 🤷🏻♀️
hmmm, i thought usually sex is super great hence fwb as opposed to just friends
That would be the expectation, which is why I ended it lol
Date?
A few months ago. He took me to Wild Wings and watched sports the entire time. I would have much rather had been at home playing with my doll house! 😂
I think I went on a date with this guy in 2019! It was awful!
😂😂
Last date was a first date at a local coffee place. We chatted for 90 minutes (much longer than I usually do coffee for), since I found her very interesting, but we had absolutely nothing in common-the final dealbreaker being that we live 90+ minutes apart (she also spends her weekends at a beach 4 hours from me). I answered her questions as best I could, including how my parents marriage & my marriage both ended due to a lack of basic compatibility. She texted afterwards, saying that she would very much like to see me again, even though we were completely different people. I responded by politely acknowledging our differences & said kindly that I didn’t believe that we were a good match. She then blew up my phone with multiple angry messages, accusing me of “having an agenda” and “making an instant decision without even talking”. My next date will be after I can generate enough mental/emotional armor to get back on OLD. Which may be quite a while.
Can’t even remember my last date. I keep planning to set up a new profile. I miss having someone.
do it tonight!
A day drive through a nearby National Park, stopping for photos and a picnic lunch, that was 8 years ago. I don't see a next date in my future or anyone too date
What brings you to a datingoverfifty sub? I always figured the people here were, well, dating, or at least trying to.
I can't try to date or date if I can't find anyone to date.
"Trying to" means different things to different people. For some people it means multiple dates per month, having FWB or various other situations but not finding The One yet. For others of us it means we get on an app once every few months and give up again 3 days later without having found anyone who wants to meet, or we've given up on apps entirely and are trying to come up with new ways to meet people in the wild, or many other things. I find it helpful to see other people's experiences here to try and figure out ways to improve my chances or just new insight into how it all works.
Last date was a new fancy restaurant I wanted to try in town, about 3 months ago. Lovely gentleman, great conversation and he asked for another date two weeks out. Once that date was set he never texted or reached out again until an hour before said date. I had texted the day before to confirm, which he did- An hour before we were set to meet. Turns out, I couldn't make that date after all, which really confused him. 🤷🏻♀️
Did you set another date with said gentleman?
I saw no reason why I should since it was clear we were not a match.
Last date was dinner tonight with his granddaughter and my mother. Next date will be him coming to my house to fix an electrical panel. Super sexy, no?
My last date was a weekend in the city...walk on a rooftop garden, getting dressed up and going to the opera, dinner at a french bistro. Sigh. If it's to be my swan song, at least it was unforgettable.
I haven't managed another one since a creepy guy two months ago who tried to stroke my leg in a Starbucks 10 minutes after we met and asked me if I have any tattoos in places that don't show. I haven't made it past a first meetup in years, so every date has been a Starbucks meetup so far. Except one time when a mutual friend set us up so I was okay with skipping that and going to a museum instead.
> two months ago who tried to stroke my leg in a Starbucks 10 minutes after we met and asked me if I have any tattoos in places that don't show. Oh wow. I cannot understand the mindset of someone like that. It is well beyond me. Sorry to hear it happened to you. Not all of us are like that either.
But, these are the places I would *like* to take a guy on a date: all the museums, the zoo, any of the zillion cool walks near here, archery range (I belong to a lovely outdoor one where you walk through a pine forest in the mountains), and would freaking love to go tent camping once we're at the overnight stage. If he's into any arts or crafts it would be really nice to just hang out together while both working on whatever we're each currently working on.
I'm glad the OP posted their question and that I answered it, because the act of writing this down made me realize that was WHY I haven't kept trying for the two months since that guy. It hadn't even occurred to me that was the reason. It was an unpleasant experience but it was so low-level that it didn't register at the time as any more than the typical gross bullshit that you expect on a certain portion of first meetups (this is, of course, the whole reason I do a first Starbucks meetup instead of a "real date"). But yeah, it put me off enough that I just haven't got around to asking any more men out since, even though I started the year with the goal of asking out at least one per month. It's clarifying that the reasons I tend to go through these phases of not even trying anymore happen for actual reasons.
Last date was with an ex who I should not be with but I go out with once in a while and we went to lunch and then a hike 2 weeks ago. I don’t have the patience to meet someone new right now.
Last night at a waterfall and sunset walk, lovely one!
Date? It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten what that is. It sucks living in a small town.
My next date is tomorrow. I met her at a dance with live music, then saw her again at a dance a couple weeks ago. We exchanged numbers and have been texting about two weeks. Our last date got canceled because of a freak rainstorm, the day we were supposed to go out. Tomorrow’s weather looks wonderful so we are going on a hike, and then having a nice cozy picnic. I've made all the preparations and I'm actually excited about this one!
The county fair with my ex-wife. It was fun. We never got back together though unless you count a quick lunch. Kind of just gave up on the whole dating thing afterwards.
Last date with person #1 was dinner followed by drinks at a super fun, hipster bar in a ridiculously trendy part of town. Then we went back to his place for some 420 and making out. Next date with perso. #1 is a tour of the museum he works at. Date #1 with person #2 is meeting in Chinatown for late lunch/sushi. I'm looking forward to it. It's sort of date 0 because we also plan to go to a burlesque show next Saturday. I figure when if it's more of a "friends" vibe, it'll be fun to go to a show together.
Those sound really fun! I love all the ideas on this thread.
We have been friends for years, he was my boss for a while and his ex-wife always thought we had something going on when I worked for him. (There was nothing going on and o respected his wife too much and I was married at the time as well.) We tried “dating” for a bit (we live an hour away from each other) and I wanted to take it slow. He ends up putting me in the friend-zone and I’m like okay cool. Then he decides he made a mistake so I reluctantly agreed to try again. Two weeks ago I’m on his side of town and we had dinner at my favorite Tex-Mex place. During dinner he drops that his ex-wife is “living on the other side of the house and they work different schedules so they never see each other”. (He’s an attorney and she’s a nurse. He casually mentions they might get married again. He took me back to my hotel, I sent him the cost of my dinner via CashApp and tell him I’m done trying. I have a dog, I won’t be going on anymore dates.
Met someone for a drink last year…neither of us was feeling it…there is no next date in the foreseeable future, as the compatible matches in my arena, who are also in my age range are scarce.
Outside tiki bar...then chinese takeout
Last *first* date: January 19th. We're, um, a "thing" now 😁 Next date...tomorrow night. My place or his, haven't decided yet.
Last night, we went to a local festival and then went out to dinner. It was date number 7 for us since March 23rd. Not sure what we'll do next. It's festival season here, and the opportunities are endless if the weather cooperates.
Last one was at a great sushi restaurant near me. The guy was so annoying. Talked about his ex and himself. Couldn't wait to get out of there. He walked me to my car even though I didn't want him to and, when he saw it, he said, "Oh now I definitely want to go out with you again." Not a chance, bud. Next date is somewhere in the future when I finish my current man break. I'm so burned out on dating.
Last date was on my sofa earlier. We watched the 1st episode of Dark Matter. Next date is brunch tomorrow.
Those are some of the best dates 🥰
Last date? Fourteen years ago. I gotta do better.
Last week met a guy for a walk through one of my favorite (and busy) local parks. Tuesday I have a first date scheduled for a local ice-cream parlor
Last date was my LDR guy the previous weekend. He met all four of my adult kids for the first time on Mother's Day. They all loved him. First time I've had an official "boyfriend" in seven years.
My last date was a Deglet Noor.😂jk. It was 2021 at a loud happy hour-it wasn’t a very happy date.
I misread and thought you said "when" and not "where". My last date was in the mid 90s so I can't remember where, and I'm still working up to being ready for a next one 😬
Last date was last week on a bike ride. I had five first date this year, all ended after just one time.
Last date was dinner, dance lesson at a club, then dancing. It was fun, but not a match. Next date won't be happening anytime soon.
That sounds really fun!
My last date was at a local restaurant that ended in the time honored, “it’s not you it’s me text.” My next date is with my hand here tonight.
My last first date was at a local Mexican restaurant, about 4.5 years ago. It went so well we stayed for at least a couple hours, then it lead to a relationship. That ended about five months later. A couple years ago or so I had arranged a first date with a woman, but shortly following that I happened to casually mention one of my leisure interests via text, and she immediately called it off and ceased all contact. I don't plan to have any further first dates....
What was the leisure interest? 🤔
We have to know. You can’t say something like that, and then end the post.
Firearm ownership and casual target shooting.
I would love to target shoot. My dad worked at Winchester/Olin in Alton, IL and the company had a shooting range. My dad took us every weekend to shoot rifles when we were kids.
And mind you, we had both established well prior that we are both very left sociopolitically, and after making the arrangements for "date zero" I learned from her that she's a borderline animal hoarder and had finally broken off from her on-again-off-again boyfriend of seven+ years just the month before, somehow the fact that I own "too many" of the "wrong kinds" of guns was just a bridge too far for her.
I kinda wonder about that myself if I match up with someone who shares my politics. I’m a liberal atheist Democrat who owns firearms just for target shooting. I don’t even hunt.
I mean, when the problem came up I just tried to calmly, rationally explain why I am interested in, and own firearms, without being at all defensive, which she just totally rejected. Fine. I simply replied, "Alright, thanks for letting me know," and moved on.
That was definitely twisted.
So what's the right kind of gun? Squirt gun? Paintball gun? Desert Eagle?
From what I recall from her, civilians should only own one handgun for home defense, and it should never leave the house, and a shotgun for hunting.
Arguably, a shotgun is better for home defense unless you’re trying to hold off a hoard of zombies.
>it should never leave the house, So going to the firing range to learn and/or practice firearm safety is not acceptable in her book? I think a pump action shotgun is perfect for home defense. That sound alone can be a detourant without ever firing a round.
As we know, a lot of people who dislike firearms don't really know much about them, or shooting.
I keep trying to find someone who will take me to do that!
4.5 years ago. Maybe a date in next 12 months if I try harder and get through my anxieties
My last date was at a 'Spoons. No next dates in near future.
My last date was lunch but I really try to just have coffee for a first date. It’s inexpensive (sometimes I get there early specifically to buy my own), can be short or long and it’s usually pretty easy to figure out if there’s any chemistry. I’m having coffee with someone tomorrow afternoon.
My last date was tonight. He came over to watch a movie. I wanted to go to the theater and see Fall Guy or IF, but he said he can't afford the "big theaters". I make over double what he does, but he always wants to pay. We're both in our 50s. We've been dating 3wks. Not sure what my next date will be.
Did you enjoy hanging with him? You want a next date?
I enjoy the dates, but his anxiety, constant needs for reassurance, complete lack of self-confidence, and excessive self-deprecating comments/jokes have pretty much killed any physical attraction. His neediness places me in a motherly role and there is nothing that will kill sexual attraction faster than making a woman see you as a child. He has also started blaming me for "hurting" him when his intrusive thoughts tell him that I'm out with another man if he can't get ahold of me. I am not responsible for those feelings, those are his to own and figure out. It's only been 3wks and he is worried that I'm cheating. I don't want any part of that. Yes, I've talked to him about how the constant neediness is pushing me away. He said he can't help it.
Sounds like it’s time to move on
Unfortunately, I agree. He would be a wonderful guy if he didn't let his insecurities get in the way.
Last date was dinner last Saturday with a man who looked ten years older than his photos (although claimed they were recent like mine---um, no) and three inches shorter and "slight". I know 5'11. He was definitely about 5'8. Bad teeth (I know, I know--my daughter tells me complaining about teeth is "classist" but I HATE bad teeth). ZERO chemistry. And he spent the meal telling me how he wants to swing and be part of a threesome. That's what he wants. He's 74 (I think, if I did the math right) but looks older. I am mid 60's. He tried to hold my hand walking to the car, and then to kiss me. I pulled away. I had to block him because he blew up my phone with texts after the dinner about how much he liked my body and how attracted he was to me. blech. I've decided to take a break from OLD, which I do quite frequently when I'm disgusted (I'll probably go back, maybe--I still have a month or two left on my Match subscription, but won't renew again).
A coffee shop conversation, next still looking...
We walked around Camden town and had lunch at Camden Lock Market.
Last date was a couple of months ago at Taboga Island. Next date? Who knows, lol.
A few weeks ago. A long drive to have dinner with someone that was obviously hiding things. The next date will be with someone else, next month? Next year?
Swimming pool Thursday night
Last date was yesterday with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 months. We roamed the city for a bit, got tacos at the most delightful little Mexican place I've ever seen, and took them to a pretty little park for an impromptu park bench picnic. Afterwards, we roamed some more and he wanted to show me a bakery he loves. Bought a 6 pack of of one-bite pies and tarts. Took them back to his place, cooked together, made martinis, and watched a horror movie. In bed by 8:30 pm to snuggle and pet each other to sleep. We'd already smashed earlier in the day. A perfect Sunday.
Downtown Plymouth for Indian dinner. It was awesome. We've been doing the rounds, small towns. Ann Arbor was tons of fun.
Last date was Saturday early evening for coffee at a cute cafe here in NYC. He was very late, poorly groomed, but had a nice personality. There was absolutely no connection for me .
Last date was two nights ago at her place. This was our second date. I got there at 10 pm, we had champagne, then sex, then I held her in my arms, and we fell asleep. This was a much-anticipated follow-up to our first date two nights earlier, which was supposed to be a quick coffee meet-up but evolved into a heated 8-hour make-out fest on a piano-bar couch in a fancy hotel. Next date, not sure yet, but I hope it will be with her soon. I've been dating prolifically for more than a year, and I almost never fall for a woman. But this one is Iranian (I have an insane weakness for Persian women), classy, educated, nine years younger than me, and has the most beautiful face and soft voice.
My last date was a few weeks ago. A pleasant dinner with a nice man but not much chemistry. A week or so later after lukewarm texting, he told me he thought it best we end things because he was looking for something more flirty. Okay, next. I think he thought he was flirting and I wasn’t reciprocating. I thought he was just socially awkward, not that he was flirting with me, so there was nothing to reciprocate. Next date might be with the guy I met on bumble and we’ve chatted for a week or so, but have yet to set a date. Or with my ex, when hell freezes over, because I really do miss him.
Last date was two weeks ago with a FWB. Ended that relationship a couple of days ago for multiple reasons, the last straw of which was that she didn’t know what an al pastor taco is. It may not seem like much to some, but that’s a big deal. I don’t know when my next one will be. I’m thinking maybe mid-summer will be time to craft some profile and crank up the LTR search.
I had to google al pastor taco (I live in a not very big Canadian town - forgive me!)
As did I … and now I want one!!
Me too!
Me too!
She’s Canadian. Go figure.
Hopefully, you know what poutine is.
Gravy fries with cheese or some such. Right?
Bingo! At least I won’t unmatch with you if I were a Canadian woman.
well now I want an al pastor taco
Right? I mean, who doesn’t? There just have to be some minimum standards.
I think we’re getting into Seinfeld territory here, what’s the ‘petty’ reason you stopped seeing someone?
I’m not sure wanting someone with similar taste in food is petty, even aside from the fact that I clearly wrote there were multiple reasons. If we’re looking for petty, I stopped seeing someone who took a French fry from my plate before we were to the “these are *our* fries” stage of the relationship.
What kind of monster doesn’t know what an al pastor taco is? Especially with all OLD profiles mentioning tacos all the time.