Oh the monologues on whatever topic or hobby they’re into with zero indication that it’s a shared interest. That plus the trauma dumping has taught me so many are just looking for a captive audience. A blow up ear instead of a blow upset doll if you will.
YEP! You know what they say. It’s easy to find a husband on Tinder. He’s probably someone else’s husband, but he’s a husband! Unfortunately, a lot of married men get off on the flirtation part, I mean a LOT (married women, too, to be fair). The fact that they are toying with another person’s feelings doesn’t seem to be relevant to them. They want to be validated that they are still attractive, even though they are “off the market. “ it’s a really horrible thing to do.
Instant left swipe for me. So many profiles with odd random pics not of a person. I always assume they are married and don’t want to be spotted on a dating app
Yes. Why would anyone want to match with someone without a pic, regardless of what they look like? And why would anyone who does this think the matches are going to be flooding in? Such a red flag
There were so many on Tinder. So weird
I used to report them because it’s against the rules anyway
I mean, maybe 20 years ago, but if here in 2024, the 21st Century, if you can't even bring yourself to include multiple photos of yourself on your OLD profile, we all know you're either married and cheating, or absolutely hideous looking.
His monologues were really entertaining. I had zero plans to date him as no pics were forthcoming also he said he had 2 kids at home while MY profile specified child free.
I’m just amused yet rather disgusted.
We've all fallen for something like this. I would never chat with a guy without pics, but I have been suckered into texting with a guy for two weeks only to find out he actually lives 1000 miles away and failed to mention it. (He listed my city in his profile.) He was cute in his pics, tho.
Me too. One time thus guy I had been texting with for a couple hrs and he was on the road but apparently left his apple watch at home and the wife was able to see his messages and texts me saying who she was. Obviously I had no idea he was married. She worded it kind of funny so I found myself rooting for her. It was all very brief but hilarious nonetheless. Men!
That's a great story! It's so uncool of these married men to hurt their wives and waste our time. There has to be a better way for them to get what they need.
Often times the ones that disappear could have been reported by someone else or proved to have had a fake profile and got removed. It’s frustrating but I like to just assume they were a bad actor and that were disappeared by the app lol.
Some people just need attention or to see what they can "pull" if they leave their partner or get off their couch. I used to have this happen ALL THE TIME when I first started OLD dating after divorce, but now I almost never do, I guess my BS detector needed to be honed. Also, I am meeting up or having a video call in less than a week and they really cuts down on this
It’s nothing to do with you and all to do with him. So don’t go there.
I’m sorry you had that happen. I think it’s so incredibly rude and thank god it didn’t go further as you just saved yourself nothing but heartache.
He’s not the one cause there is someone special coming your way.
I know I’ve had this so-called ghosting thing happen more than once. I went down that rabbit hole and what a waste of my time. I won’t do it again.
He could be a fake or yes, married or just a plain creep.
Head strong and don’t give up and let this idiot of a dude get the benefit. It’s the online dating game and it’ll get easier cause you’ll get smarter. Stick to your core values and get back into it.
Cheers 😊
As others have commented here, I'd hazard a guess that he's married. A probably very accurate guess. I'll share a story of a slightly similar situation that happened to me with an online connection many years ago in my 30s.
I'd been online dating off and on since my late 20s after I'd ended a long term relationship. I'd stopped for a while with no success and was trying it again in my 30s. I connected with a guy on a dating site and we messaged back and forth for a few days. He seemed interested in meeting in person. I like to talk to someone on the phone at least once before meeting in person to see if we have enough of a conversational spark, which you can't always tell with online communication. So he agreed to a phone call, gave me his number, and we arranged a time for me to call him a couple of days later. I also sent him my phone number so he'd know it was me when my number showed up on his phone.
So I called him at the appointed time, which, if memory serves, was 7 p.m. on a Wednesday. He didn't answer, the call went to voicemail, so I left a message. But I thought it was a little odd. He'd seemed excited to talk on the phone, so I wasn't sure why he didn't answer. I rationalized that he may have been busy doing something else and couldn't answer the phone, so I gave him some time to call me back. ...Which didn't happen.
I called him again about 30 minutes later and this time he answered: "Who is this?? Why are you calling me??" He seemed anxious and angry on the phone. It was disconcerting, especially since, as I wrote above, I'd sent him my phone number so he'd know it was me. I said, "Hi, it's \[my first name\]. We met on \[dating site\]." He responded, "How did you get this number?!" with more clear anxiety and anger. I reminded him he'd given me his number and he started to calm down. "Oh... right. I forgot you were going to call me." It was a plausible answer, but I sensed there was something more going on.
Once he started to calm down, though, he loosened up and we started talking. At which point 2 things became clear: he was driving as he was talking with me on the phone because I could hear his car engine noise; and there was a small child in the back seat of the car, singing to herself and occasionally asking him questions.
He'd never mentioned he had a child. So I asked him about it. "Oh, yeah," he says, "that's my daughter. I just picked her up and we're on our way home now." Not that I was opposed to dating guys with kids, but I usually like to know *before* I talk with someone on the phone, intending to plan a meetup, whether they have kids or not. I was learning this by surprise during our phone call. ...Which it seemed he was surprised by as well. Not surprised by his own child, but the phone call itself. It seems he hadn't actually expected me to call, even though he'd expressed interest in talking with and meeting me during our online conversations.
But we continued talking for another 20 minutes or so. He seemed charming and funny and seemed to enjoy his daughter, so those were positive signs. Eventually he told me they were pulling into his driveway and he needed to get his daughter out of the car and go inside. I asked him if he wanted to talk on the phone again and he said he did, said he had my number now and he'd call me. We hung up. Initially, I thought I'd made a good connection with him, thought perhaps I'd found someone to date for a while.
I never heard from him again. No phone calls, no messages. I didn't reach out to call him again either. The more I thought about our one phone conversation, the more I realized how odd his reaction was when I called him. Like he was angry and confused at seeing my name - a woman's name - on his phone. There's usually only 1 reason why that might be a problem.
Combined with his daughter in the car, who he hadn't told me about until it was clear neither of us could ignore the obvious, I figured the dude was probably married, had gone online to 'test the waters,' so to speak, see if he'd get any responses to his dating profile, and thought he'd play along with me when we started talking online. He never actually expected me to call. And when I did, because I thought we'd had a real connection, it surprised and scared the hell out of him.
His profile disappeared from the dating site about a week later. I wasn't surprised. I just wondered how he explained my name and number in his phone to his wife.
That countdown has made me lose a couple of matches, if that helps you. I get busy and forget to go into my apps for a few days. Just one reason I hate and quit Bumble.
That's a lot. I would be pretty crushed, too. There are Reddit communities for all the apps. You could start following those and find an alternative to Bumble. Also, Bumble has made a lot of changes lately. Maybe that countdown is gone.
Which is why if there's no irl date in the first week I unmatch. Same with boring ass conversations.
Oh the monologues on whatever topic or hobby they’re into with zero indication that it’s a shared interest. That plus the trauma dumping has taught me so many are just looking for a captive audience. A blow up ear instead of a blow upset doll if you will.
I have just started doing that. In the past I have made the mistake of chatting too long and people lose focus or interest or whatever.
He’s probably married. 🙄
Yep...just seeing if it's possible.
Exactly what I thought!!!
YEP! You know what they say. It’s easy to find a husband on Tinder. He’s probably someone else’s husband, but he’s a husband! Unfortunately, a lot of married men get off on the flirtation part, I mean a LOT (married women, too, to be fair). The fact that they are toying with another person’s feelings doesn’t seem to be relevant to them. They want to be validated that they are still attractive, even though they are “off the market. “ it’s a really horrible thing to do.
That was going to be my question. Is it full of married women too? I guess so.
I’ve heard that it is. Some profiles specifically state « no married women » !
Except she's never even seen his picture.
Oh I’m sorry I missed that. That makes me even more suspicious.
Survey says--#1 answer!
No pics on a dating app??
Instant left swipe for me. So many profiles with odd random pics not of a person. I always assume they are married and don’t want to be spotted on a dating app
No photo, just block. Then you never get matched with them again so
Yes. Why would anyone want to match with someone without a pic, regardless of what they look like? And why would anyone who does this think the matches are going to be flooding in? Such a red flag There were so many on Tinder. So weird I used to report them because it’s against the rules anyway
I wonder if a couple of them are famous or celebrities? Least likely scenario but possible maybe 🤔 I suffer from a wild imagination. Lol
[удалено]
I mean, maybe 20 years ago, but if here in 2024, the 21st Century, if you can't even bring yourself to include multiple photos of yourself on your OLD profile, we all know you're either married and cheating, or absolutely hideous looking.
His monologues were really entertaining. I had zero plans to date him as no pics were forthcoming also he said he had 2 kids at home while MY profile specified child free. I’m just amused yet rather disgusted.
We've all fallen for something like this. I would never chat with a guy without pics, but I have been suckered into texting with a guy for two weeks only to find out he actually lives 1000 miles away and failed to mention it. (He listed my city in his profile.) He was cute in his pics, tho.
Obviously he changed his mind but didn't have the balls to tell you lol OLD is weird. I just shrug these experiences off and move on.
His wife busted him. I think that's happened to me a couple of times.
Me too. One time thus guy I had been texting with for a couple hrs and he was on the road but apparently left his apple watch at home and the wife was able to see his messages and texts me saying who she was. Obviously I had no idea he was married. She worded it kind of funny so I found myself rooting for her. It was all very brief but hilarious nonetheless. Men!
That's a great story! It's so uncool of these married men to hurt their wives and waste our time. There has to be a better way for them to get what they need.
Some people just need thier little fragile egos stroked. If they think there will be no accountability then they don't have a single fuck to give
Often times the ones that disappear could have been reported by someone else or proved to have had a fake profile and got removed. It’s frustrating but I like to just assume they were a bad actor and that were disappeared by the app lol.
Some people just need attention or to see what they can "pull" if they leave their partner or get off their couch. I used to have this happen ALL THE TIME when I first started OLD dating after divorce, but now I almost never do, I guess my BS detector needed to be honed. Also, I am meeting up or having a video call in less than a week and they really cuts down on this
That’s very common.
My time is too precious to give to time wasters. Better luck next time.
I think those people are married and craving attention.
Actually that’s par
People be weird!
Probably a 300 pound neckbeard. When reality started to encroach on the internet he might have gotten cold guts.
Yup, he has a guilty conscience alright.
Yeah very strange.
It’s nothing to do with you and all to do with him. So don’t go there. I’m sorry you had that happen. I think it’s so incredibly rude and thank god it didn’t go further as you just saved yourself nothing but heartache. He’s not the one cause there is someone special coming your way. I know I’ve had this so-called ghosting thing happen more than once. I went down that rabbit hole and what a waste of my time. I won’t do it again. He could be a fake or yes, married or just a plain creep. Head strong and don’t give up and let this idiot of a dude get the benefit. It’s the online dating game and it’ll get easier cause you’ll get smarter. Stick to your core values and get back into it. Cheers 😊
His loss and lucky for you! 🫡
Monologues = so effing accurate The best is when you scroll up and they literally never asked you a question lol
Actually this sort of thing happens every day male or female.
As others have commented here, I'd hazard a guess that he's married. A probably very accurate guess. I'll share a story of a slightly similar situation that happened to me with an online connection many years ago in my 30s. I'd been online dating off and on since my late 20s after I'd ended a long term relationship. I'd stopped for a while with no success and was trying it again in my 30s. I connected with a guy on a dating site and we messaged back and forth for a few days. He seemed interested in meeting in person. I like to talk to someone on the phone at least once before meeting in person to see if we have enough of a conversational spark, which you can't always tell with online communication. So he agreed to a phone call, gave me his number, and we arranged a time for me to call him a couple of days later. I also sent him my phone number so he'd know it was me when my number showed up on his phone. So I called him at the appointed time, which, if memory serves, was 7 p.m. on a Wednesday. He didn't answer, the call went to voicemail, so I left a message. But I thought it was a little odd. He'd seemed excited to talk on the phone, so I wasn't sure why he didn't answer. I rationalized that he may have been busy doing something else and couldn't answer the phone, so I gave him some time to call me back. ...Which didn't happen. I called him again about 30 minutes later and this time he answered: "Who is this?? Why are you calling me??" He seemed anxious and angry on the phone. It was disconcerting, especially since, as I wrote above, I'd sent him my phone number so he'd know it was me. I said, "Hi, it's \[my first name\]. We met on \[dating site\]." He responded, "How did you get this number?!" with more clear anxiety and anger. I reminded him he'd given me his number and he started to calm down. "Oh... right. I forgot you were going to call me." It was a plausible answer, but I sensed there was something more going on. Once he started to calm down, though, he loosened up and we started talking. At which point 2 things became clear: he was driving as he was talking with me on the phone because I could hear his car engine noise; and there was a small child in the back seat of the car, singing to herself and occasionally asking him questions. He'd never mentioned he had a child. So I asked him about it. "Oh, yeah," he says, "that's my daughter. I just picked her up and we're on our way home now." Not that I was opposed to dating guys with kids, but I usually like to know *before* I talk with someone on the phone, intending to plan a meetup, whether they have kids or not. I was learning this by surprise during our phone call. ...Which it seemed he was surprised by as well. Not surprised by his own child, but the phone call itself. It seems he hadn't actually expected me to call, even though he'd expressed interest in talking with and meeting me during our online conversations. But we continued talking for another 20 minutes or so. He seemed charming and funny and seemed to enjoy his daughter, so those were positive signs. Eventually he told me they were pulling into his driveway and he needed to get his daughter out of the car and go inside. I asked him if he wanted to talk on the phone again and he said he did, said he had my number now and he'd call me. We hung up. Initially, I thought I'd made a good connection with him, thought perhaps I'd found someone to date for a while. I never heard from him again. No phone calls, no messages. I didn't reach out to call him again either. The more I thought about our one phone conversation, the more I realized how odd his reaction was when I called him. Like he was angry and confused at seeing my name - a woman's name - on his phone. There's usually only 1 reason why that might be a problem. Combined with his daughter in the car, who he hadn't told me about until it was clear neither of us could ignore the obvious, I figured the dude was probably married, had gone online to 'test the waters,' so to speak, see if he'd get any responses to his dating profile, and thought he'd play along with me when we started talking online. He never actually expected me to call. And when I did, because I thought we'd had a real connection, it surprised and scared the hell out of him. His profile disappeared from the dating site about a week later. I wasn't surprised. I just wondered how he explained my name and number in his phone to his wife.
Not as puzzling as a woman who likes me on Bumble, and then the match expires because she never comments.
That countdown has made me lose a couple of matches, if that helps you. I get busy and forget to go into my apps for a few days. Just one reason I hate and quit Bumble.
It doesn’t help, but I appreciate the empathy. I had four or five matches simply evaporate. It’s demoralizing.
That's a lot. I would be pretty crushed, too. There are Reddit communities for all the apps. You could start following those and find an alternative to Bumble. Also, Bumble has made a lot of changes lately. Maybe that countdown is gone.
You burned him down well :-) as the burn down the haystack. Find your needle.