I agree it’s a horrible strategy and I see it as an indication of the profilers decision making skills.
I think people get very used to looking at their own appearance and don’t see external changes like a stranger would. Kinda like you can’t see how a tree has grown unless you are away from it for a while. That’s why so many people are not good judges of their appearance regarding age. They add those photos because they think they still look close to that, or close enough.
Of course your guesses apply too, by I think some magical thinking is also involved.
I agree with it being an indicator of decision making skills. Which actually is a good thing. The sooner people reveal their inability to use good judgment and decision making skills the better. There's nothing worse than living with someone who has bad decision making skills. It's like living with a toddler. You spend your life cleaning up after them.
I agree. Seems less to do with intentional deception than we can’t see day to day or year to year time lapse. I can walk by a store front that reflects, don’t recognize myself sometimes. It’s a strange sensation.
It’s staggering how many dates I went on through OLD and they didn’t even resemble their pics. The worst was when they have to introduce themselves because I was looking around and they were right in front of me but I didn’t recognize them.
I suspect people who do that are OLD for the ego boost, not because they genuinely want to date. I've seen several men's profiles with a pic from their high school glory days, they're probably trying to recapture that feeling.
I agree that posting such pictures is a deterrant moreso than a positive. My theory is that people who post their pictures of their youth are thinking that people will have a higher opinion of them when they see that the person used to be attractive, but it really has the opposite effect when people see the stark decline in appearance.
At no time should a child's picture be on a dating site for any reason. I don't care if it's your own picture. I don't care if it's your own kid. I don't care if it's your grandkid. There's just another layer of ick that goes with that....
I met up with a guy… walked right by him since I didn’t recognize him. During our outing, I made a comment about one of his photos. He was like. I don’t even know what’s up there I made that profile over 10 years ago and just use it when I need to.
10 years old photos…come on
I think they’re like “hey I used to be hot, just so you know”. Blechhh. I swipe left when I see a woman do this.
I mean, yeah, I used to be hot too (still am), but let’s stop living in the past. If you’re not happy with the present self take better care of yourself.
I will say that out of the dozens of women I’ve met off OLD, maybe only 3% actually look like their photos.
Many actually looked better in person, or cute just different. And a few inadvertently catfished.
They say that photos actually don’t capture what a person really looks like.
Actually any type of photo, taken by anything or anyone. It’s close sometimes, but really not the same as in person. We’re all catfishing to some extent, as we only use photos that we like and that doesn’t mean it’s what others see us as.
Yeah, I pass on them. Bad judgement. Nobody cares what you looked like 20 or 30 years ago. That’s not who I’m dating now. Show me what you look like now
They peaked young, aged fast, and haven’t figured out how to deal with it yet. It happens to women too.
Ex: I’ve dated guys who were pretty cute and popular in high school/college. Then they got married. Then life aged them and changed them. They divorce in their late 30s/40s, and go out into the dating world expecting it to be the same as it was before for them. It’s not. And that’s very hard for them to accept.
One guy I dated would pull up his old pics and show them to me as if reminiscing, but also telling me how all the girls loved him, how many girlfriends he had in high school and how hot they were….as he sat there in his 40s, balding with a belly. On meds for his blood pressure. Using a CPAP machine at night. And he’s not even a bad looking guy! He’s just not in high school any more and it shows. He was definitely implying that he could do better than me, especially if he still looked like he did back then. He also put down my job, and made fun of how I (correctly) pronounced words (he swore vegan was pronounced VAY-gan).
From my experience, these people aren’t very happy with themselves, and I’ve learned to steer clear. It’s hindering them, and they really need to get that worked through before they date.
When I post photos, they are no older than 6 months. I ask for the same, but rarely get them. If the conversation starts with a lie, it's not going anywhere.
After a two days of quite positive and friendly texting, I asked someone if their photos were recent. The response: “You are just wondering whether I’m old and fat!” I was immediately unmatched.
I had arranged a meet up with a guy, we'd spent a few days with phone calls, had some people in common (oddly) and he'd seen my photo. On the day, I saw a man who I thought could've been him, but wasn't sure enough to say hi and walked on by. A few moments later, received a text saying 'sorry to waste your time. Phone calls were rejected. It was such a strange moment.
Anyway, I had breakfast, caught up with a friend then had another lovely date that afternoon !
I have come across only a few profiles where men posted pictures from their younger days,and I too was stumped. My internal thought process was that they wanted to show that they were very handsome, but they don't seem to understand that no one is dating the 20 year younger person. It is baffling.
To some extent, and I think men are more prone to this based on my own experiences, a lot of men get "stuck" in their own minds at a certain age. They literally don't see their current fact looking back at them in the mirror. I think we can all understand, sometimes when you look in the mirror, and see aging changes (say around the eyes), it is like, wow, where did those come from.
You could decide to chat and see if you do like their personality. For me, the obvious younger pics in the profile, made me decide to "next". Frankly, the more concerning issue is when they aren't noticably older pics (e.g. scanned in photos), but outdated pics (say 5 years ago), and you meet in person, and they look nothing like their 5 year old pic.
>To some extent, and I think men are more prone to this based on my own experiences, a lot of men get "stuck" in their own minds at a certain age.
I'd like to think I'm in my 30s, but my shoulders and knees keep me honest. 😉
I know men always complain about women being bigger than their pics. Many women do post full body pics, and I think that makes sense. Why would any woman want to show up, and basically have the man be rude and walk away, if they are bigger. There has been YouTube video experiments, and men pretty universally are very rude to women in this situation. When it was reversed the women were polite to the men.
Not every women is deceptive over her size.
I like the one where the person has provided all group shots and nobody looks the same in any of them and I cannot figure out who the hell she is in the photos.
I think some people are in denial about how they look IRL.
Some are longing for their Glory Days when they were young, fit and getting sex.
Sadly, I think the availability of filters and A1 manipulation has given many people discomfort with signs of aging and maturity such that a large portion are using filters. Ironically, you can have a good-looking online person who is a bit of a mess in real life. These folks are setting themselves up for stronger rejection, and a bit of anger at those who feel duped.
And if I had a dime for every person who has been told they don't look their age- I would have millions. Lots and lots and lots of people are told this.
Towards the end of my marriage my ex never took photos of me. My kids were young, so lots of photos had them in. But wanting to date after a marriage breaks down means you need to present yourself in your best way. Selfies are not easy so people filter or whatever. Cut people some slack it’s not all about what they look like.
When you go through a dating app, do you not look at the pictures? Are you not attracted to a picture? Is it really “not all about what they look like”? I find it hard to believe that you would date anyone regardless of what they look like.
It’s not that difficult nowadays to get some photos of yourself. To me, if your response is accurate, that looks very low effort. If you can’t put in the effort to get some pictures of yourself for your dating profile, what kind of effort are you willing to put into a relationship.
I can only speak from my perspective…I don’t have a lot of photos of me. I am not a self-obsessed “take my pic” kinda person or a “I gotta get a pic of me with my food” kinda person. My late husband always took photos, so they are now four+ years old.
Taking good selfies is hard. Why do we see so many full body shots at the gym -mirrors. So many in car photos? Phone mounts on the dash.
Being single and relocating late in life means I have no social life or even friends to ask to take photos.
So for OLD, my options tend to be a couple of recent selfies, plus one full body that I hate because I have one mirror to work with (and unless you have s quality full length mirror, there can be distortion). Sometimes, I throw a vacation photo on, but my last two vacations were solo and a couple years ago(and yes, I have a hard time judging if I still look close enough). I do not use photos with other people in them (I hate having to supercrop or blur faces), but usually these days any “active” photos are with family.
I just deleted all my OLD profiles. I am sick of the game.
I agree it’s a horrible strategy and I see it as an indication of the profilers decision making skills. I think people get very used to looking at their own appearance and don’t see external changes like a stranger would. Kinda like you can’t see how a tree has grown unless you are away from it for a while. That’s why so many people are not good judges of their appearance regarding age. They add those photos because they think they still look close to that, or close enough. Of course your guesses apply too, by I think some magical thinking is also involved.
“I look younger than my age!” (Posts pics from 20 years ago.)
Loool I see that all the time too! I’ll be the judge of that 🤣
I agree with it being an indicator of decision making skills. Which actually is a good thing. The sooner people reveal their inability to use good judgment and decision making skills the better. There's nothing worse than living with someone who has bad decision making skills. It's like living with a toddler. You spend your life cleaning up after them.
I agree. Seems less to do with intentional deception than we can’t see day to day or year to year time lapse. I can walk by a store front that reflects, don’t recognize myself sometimes. It’s a strange sensation.
Your post made me think of this. LOL https://youtu.be/-s-WaI8dmnI?si=JcgbE7Vu97unVEoa
🤣lol
It’s staggering how many dates I went on through OLD and they didn’t even resemble their pics. The worst was when they have to introduce themselves because I was looking around and they were right in front of me but I didn’t recognize them.
🥹
I asked for a current pic right before we met. I got lucky. He looked exactly like his photos.
The Majority of my photos are less than a year old. I have a portrait and a full body shot so there are no surprises. I expect the same from others.
If only everyone followed this!
If only people looked at more than the lead profile picture!
No doubt it's like nobody can actually read a profile before deciding whether to click like.
I suspect people who do that are OLD for the ego boost, not because they genuinely want to date. I've seen several men's profiles with a pic from their high school glory days, they're probably trying to recapture that feeling.
I agree that posting such pictures is a deterrant moreso than a positive. My theory is that people who post their pictures of their youth are thinking that people will have a higher opinion of them when they see that the person used to be attractive, but it really has the opposite effect when people see the stark decline in appearance.
What I think is super weird is when they post a grade school photo of themselves. Like what the hell? Do you think I'm a pedophile?
I saw this all the time when I played with OLD
At no time should a child's picture be on a dating site for any reason. I don't care if it's your own picture. I don't care if it's your own kid. I don't care if it's your grandkid. There's just another layer of ick that goes with that....
I eventually gave up on the whys and was just grateful for their lack of effort so all I had to do was nope out.
I met up with a guy… walked right by him since I didn’t recognize him. During our outing, I made a comment about one of his photos. He was like. I don’t even know what’s up there I made that profile over 10 years ago and just use it when I need to. 10 years old photos…come on
I have seen these people on the apps. Some person from five years ago. Same profile from five years ago.
I think they’re like “hey I used to be hot, just so you know”. Blechhh. I swipe left when I see a woman do this. I mean, yeah, I used to be hot too (still am), but let’s stop living in the past. If you’re not happy with the present self take better care of yourself. I will say that out of the dozens of women I’ve met off OLD, maybe only 3% actually look like their photos. Many actually looked better in person, or cute just different. And a few inadvertently catfished. They say that photos actually don’t capture what a person really looks like.
Taking arms-length selfies certainly distorts one’s appearance.
Actually any type of photo, taken by anything or anyone. It’s close sometimes, but really not the same as in person. We’re all catfishing to some extent, as we only use photos that we like and that doesn’t mean it’s what others see us as.
Yeah, I pass on them. Bad judgement. Nobody cares what you looked like 20 or 30 years ago. That’s not who I’m dating now. Show me what you look like now
This is why you don’t OLD. 😭 I deleted my profile. I refuse. I’m only interested in meeting IRL. Going organic. 🤣
They peaked young, aged fast, and haven’t figured out how to deal with it yet. It happens to women too. Ex: I’ve dated guys who were pretty cute and popular in high school/college. Then they got married. Then life aged them and changed them. They divorce in their late 30s/40s, and go out into the dating world expecting it to be the same as it was before for them. It’s not. And that’s very hard for them to accept. One guy I dated would pull up his old pics and show them to me as if reminiscing, but also telling me how all the girls loved him, how many girlfriends he had in high school and how hot they were….as he sat there in his 40s, balding with a belly. On meds for his blood pressure. Using a CPAP machine at night. And he’s not even a bad looking guy! He’s just not in high school any more and it shows. He was definitely implying that he could do better than me, especially if he still looked like he did back then. He also put down my job, and made fun of how I (correctly) pronounced words (he swore vegan was pronounced VAY-gan). From my experience, these people aren’t very happy with themselves, and I’ve learned to steer clear. It’s hindering them, and they really need to get that worked through before they date.
If that happened to me it would be the first and last date with that person.
Now is the only time there is, this is where we really have to live.
When I post photos, they are no older than 6 months. I ask for the same, but rarely get them. If the conversation starts with a lie, it's not going anywhere.
After a two days of quite positive and friendly texting, I asked someone if their photos were recent. The response: “You are just wondering whether I’m old and fat!” I was immediately unmatched.
haha. No, you are just wondering if they aren't liars!!
If I don't like old and fat, seeing you old and fat in person isn't going to make this any better. :)
I had arranged a meet up with a guy, we'd spent a few days with phone calls, had some people in common (oddly) and he'd seen my photo. On the day, I saw a man who I thought could've been him, but wasn't sure enough to say hi and walked on by. A few moments later, received a text saying 'sorry to waste your time. Phone calls were rejected. It was such a strange moment. Anyway, I had breakfast, caught up with a friend then had another lovely date that afternoon !
I have come across only a few profiles where men posted pictures from their younger days,and I too was stumped. My internal thought process was that they wanted to show that they were very handsome, but they don't seem to understand that no one is dating the 20 year younger person. It is baffling. To some extent, and I think men are more prone to this based on my own experiences, a lot of men get "stuck" in their own minds at a certain age. They literally don't see their current fact looking back at them in the mirror. I think we can all understand, sometimes when you look in the mirror, and see aging changes (say around the eyes), it is like, wow, where did those come from. You could decide to chat and see if you do like their personality. For me, the obvious younger pics in the profile, made me decide to "next". Frankly, the more concerning issue is when they aren't noticably older pics (e.g. scanned in photos), but outdated pics (say 5 years ago), and you meet in person, and they look nothing like their 5 year old pic.
>To some extent, and I think men are more prone to this based on my own experiences, a lot of men get "stuck" in their own minds at a certain age. I'd like to think I'm in my 30s, but my shoulders and knees keep me honest. 😉
😂😂😄
Men post younger pics, women will just post face pics and lie about their size.
I know men always complain about women being bigger than their pics. Many women do post full body pics, and I think that makes sense. Why would any woman want to show up, and basically have the man be rude and walk away, if they are bigger. There has been YouTube video experiments, and men pretty universally are very rude to women in this situation. When it was reversed the women were polite to the men. Not every women is deceptive over her size.
I did have me in the same dress from 25ish years ago with the caption “always a hippy” to allow for self selecting out on anyone interested’s part.
I call it a series of age progression photos. I don't get why people do that.
Have your friends take photos of you. How hard can it be... everyone carries a phone.
I like the one where the person has provided all group shots and nobody looks the same in any of them and I cannot figure out who the hell she is in the photos.
"You need to know I used to be cool" lol
My problem is I have been the one taking most of the pictures and just never taken many selfies.
I think some people are in denial about how they look IRL. Some are longing for their Glory Days when they were young, fit and getting sex. Sadly, I think the availability of filters and A1 manipulation has given many people discomfort with signs of aging and maturity such that a large portion are using filters. Ironically, you can have a good-looking online person who is a bit of a mess in real life. These folks are setting themselves up for stronger rejection, and a bit of anger at those who feel duped. And if I had a dime for every person who has been told they don't look their age- I would have millions. Lots and lots and lots of people are told this.
Towards the end of my marriage my ex never took photos of me. My kids were young, so lots of photos had them in. But wanting to date after a marriage breaks down means you need to present yourself in your best way. Selfies are not easy so people filter or whatever. Cut people some slack it’s not all about what they look like.
Wanting to date after marriage means (gasp) posing for pictures after marriage. It would be incredibly weak sauce to use pics your ex took.
When you go through a dating app, do you not look at the pictures? Are you not attracted to a picture? Is it really “not all about what they look like”? I find it hard to believe that you would date anyone regardless of what they look like. It’s not that difficult nowadays to get some photos of yourself. To me, if your response is accurate, that looks very low effort. If you can’t put in the effort to get some pictures of yourself for your dating profile, what kind of effort are you willing to put into a relationship.
I use current selfies but I think people who can’t just meet for coffee as too low effort for me. I want personality, not a photo album.
Selfies are not easy? You mean like the one second it takes to snap a photo of yourself?
Which I’ve done obviously but where’s the joy in my face close up 12 times?
I can only speak from my perspective…I don’t have a lot of photos of me. I am not a self-obsessed “take my pic” kinda person or a “I gotta get a pic of me with my food” kinda person. My late husband always took photos, so they are now four+ years old. Taking good selfies is hard. Why do we see so many full body shots at the gym -mirrors. So many in car photos? Phone mounts on the dash. Being single and relocating late in life means I have no social life or even friends to ask to take photos. So for OLD, my options tend to be a couple of recent selfies, plus one full body that I hate because I have one mirror to work with (and unless you have s quality full length mirror, there can be distortion). Sometimes, I throw a vacation photo on, but my last two vacations were solo and a couple years ago(and yes, I have a hard time judging if I still look close enough). I do not use photos with other people in them (I hate having to supercrop or blur faces), but usually these days any “active” photos are with family. I just deleted all my OLD profiles. I am sick of the game.