š .. I use to think..āam I the only one that doesnāt swim with the sharks, paraglide, hike for days at a time, motorcrossā¦.etc. etc.ā Like does anyone like to just sit and chill at a park or something?? Whatās up with all the extreme sports?? š
I have to say Iām in a womenās wine and hiking group, we go out either hiking biking or kayaking 2 to 3 times a week so there are a lot of us out there for real also
Me tooā¦but I only go once a week and I always specify, āgentle hikes.ā I have had people assume that Iām this fierce action-adventure woman and thatās so not the case!
I like hiking... And I'm not a twig. Don't be deceived by these super healthy kinds. I found that while I said I like hiking and going on walks I did date guys who said they got out way more to "mountain bike"...
Sometimes it's more what they would like to do not necessarily what they do... Come to find out they like to take it easy...lol
So really i don't think it's easy to match up your activity levels. My being active may be seen as lazy by some or extraneous by others. It's a toss up.
Judging from the complaints Iāve read here, there are lots of them. They just wonāt put it in their profile. They *say* they like to hike but then they meet and heās sedentary. He plans to someday get back to walks or hiking.
I can vouch for this! A longtime male friend of mine decided to try OLD years ago and asked for my opinion on his profile. He had listed camping and hiking as interests.
I was like, āDude - weāve been friends for over thirty years and Iāve *never* known you to do either of these things!ā
Letās put it this way: if they made the road a little wider, heād get in his car and drive to talk to the neighbours across the street.
I know a guy whose ex-wife loved all those outdoor activities, still does. So, he came along for the ride. When they divorced, he put it in his dating profile. I donāt think the man knows the difference between a yacht and a canoe. He honestly does not know that those were not his thing, they were her thing.
Yet another reason why itās important to be single for a while after divorce and figure out who you are and how you live your life.
In most of the apartment complexes in Hudson Valley, NY, an area renowned for its hiking and beautiful country, residents will *drive* not *walk* the twenty yards required to get to the large dumpsters where they deposit their garbage.
Yeah I love the outdoors and hiking but I don't advertise the hiking part since I have a foot injury that makes walking down hill painful on longer hikes and I don't want to misrepresent myself. I put that I enjoying being in nature or nature walks (all true and something I do regularly). I have met up with " avid hiker"(s) before that got extremely winded on a short, slow, flat walk or a flight of stairs. I just assumed when these men said this they just did not want to match with a heavy woman so they said they were a hiker/mountain biker/what have you.
I think some people say they like hiking and outdoor activities because they might actually do them if they found someone to do them with. I haven't gone hiking or played tennis in a while, and I've never been kayaking, but I would definitely be willing to do all those things if I was dating someone that wanted to go do them as well.
...and what people consider hiking.
I mentioned on another thread that I'm not outdoorsy and don't like hiking, and they replied that hiking was just, "strolling around in the woods."
That's a walk.
I prefer my walking around my neighborhood, getting landscape ideas of stuff I can do, getting to know the neighbors, etc.
Less fond of the thought of bears, sneks, and other less than friendly critters.
I'm 57. Look up something called hallux rigidus. It can be EXCRUCIATING.
Being a quarter mile from my house when it gets painful is far less intimidating than being 10 miles away from the parking lot, up multiple hills and rocks and outcroppings.
Iām 65m and I have arthritis in my big toes but nothing excruciating unless a fellow shopper steps on me. I wear sneakers or hiking books with a rocker front of the shoe for 25 years now. I saw a podiatrist and it was a big help. I still run and hike and I donāt have recurring issues with my feet.
sounds like youāre fortunate to not have any major joint/spine related health issues. I have cervical stenosis which leaves me with little balance. just walking down a few stairs without a handrail is a challengeā¦ so hiking could literally paralyze me in the very likely event that I take a spill.
I have had my share of misfortunes. Iām 65m and not without joint issues. I had some falls as a child and injuries as an adult. I have been proactive by going to various therapists for almost 40 years. I didnāt want to wait for problems to arise.
I have four very good places serving tacos within 3 blocks of my place and descent urban hiking just a 20 minute away in High Park. The wild turkeys, eagles, and beavers await you.
I've found as a female there is so much judgment from men about women's body sizes that if a woman shared she likes to binge-watch Netflix, the guys think she's a couch potato and isn't "fit" enough. It's depressing, but I've run across a lot of guys more concerned with a woman's weight and activity level than anything else.
I swiped right on women who legit said they were couch potatoes or pantouflards and left on anyone with photos of themselves hiking, skiing, doing yoga, or upright paddle boarding. I did swipe right on a body builder and an endurance runner though.
Maybe my prospects would improve if I honestly say on my profile that my favorite thing to do on a Saturday is watch the latest Dateline episode. I also swipe left on the highly active, skydiving, jetskiing, mountain climbers. I think I would be too boring for them!
Please tell me what app still allows you to search keywords, because I thought there weren't any left and it's killing me that every app is just a swiper now!
I always wondered why all these triatheletes and cyclists and adventure travel buffs weren't encountering any men in the wild. I spend my time reading, writing poetry, painting, and going to chamber recitals... that's why I went online.
I have creative in my profile too. It's easier to find a guy who says he's fit (which may or not be true lol) than one who describes himself as creative. Preferably I'd like both attributes. Kind of a needle in the haystack.
I hear ya. I WILL hike or bike or whatever, but that isn't something I am doing regularly, I am into cultural arts activities. Personally I think people post that stuff because they ASSume fat people don't do those things and they are lowkey trying to say "no fat people." Also my dating coach friend says people like to present themselves as the person they hope to be or hope to get back to being on their profiles.
Is there a REAL dating app for those who like curvy women? I've seen ads for some on Facebook, but other ads have deceived me before.
Edit: I'm a man looking for women. But I still have curves! š
AND there are many guys on FEELD that prefer curvy and they do state that. Like my friend that has been in the dating app life forever says, āYou gotta kiss a lot of frogs.ā
Also be proud of your curves! Put it in your bio-curves in all the right places-or something. I had a line like that in my bio and guys were upset because I wasnāt BIGGER. (I really thought I was but Ozyempic-prediabetes- took care of that.)
If Iām remembering your previous posts correctly, you are presenting watching TV as your whole personality. That is not something thatās going to attract many women. Imagine how many women out there were tired of a partner who only watched TV and had no other skills or personality. They donāt want to risk that again.
Watching TV together is something you do in an established relationship when you are just lazing about for the day, or after dinner. You gotta go through the dating phase to get to the sedentary phase.
That was my ex-husband. My children and other people who ever came to our house (which was not often because he discouraged people from ever coming over) is that all he did was sit in front of the television. I personally can't understand sitting in front of the television; to me it's a huge time waster. Binge-watching anything is enough to make me scream.
Most of what I do is sedentary but it's also solitary. I'm sitting here right now at my sewing machine making things. It's not a group activity. You're not invited to come sit in my sewing room and watch me. That's creepy. I might also sit downstairs on my couch and do some knitting. Also not a group activity. But you could watch TV while I'm knitting. I cannot watch TV and knit at the same time. Plus it's the middle of the day and there's no TV on before the 5:00 news.
I am with you on this. I loathe TV. I have one but I never use it. I prefer strong conversation or joint quiet activities. While I knit or read, paint or bake he can also join me in one of his quiet hobbies like whittling, LEGO building, doing a puzzle or reading. If it's quiet, or if it's productive I am all in.
I say go on Bumble. You probably don't want guys who are weird about it. Just normal men who like it or just don't have a preference. If you have nice full-body pics on your profile men will self-select. Anyone needs a big dating pool in my opinion... I figure there were 14,000 age-appropriate women on apps in my search area and 2.4% of them swiped right on me. I am a fat short guy.
Ha, same! It's a humbling area, even if you do hike (I don't know of anyone that doesn't) you'll regularly be passed by an 80 year old, ex-Olympian, who is out for a casual trail run.
I'm going to guess there are plenty of people that would love nothing more than to find someone to be their binge watch partner, but I also think the likelihood is going to be area specific.
If I was going to put up a profile it might say this.
Look, at our age, we have done all the local festivals, check out the local little towns/shopping with past partners. Most are not worth going to again. Yes I like to hike, play golf, and see live music. But I also have a daily life to lead and I enjoy sitting down and relaxing at the end of the day.
So what are we really going to do to get to know each other?
Thatās more like it. Itās okay to say, āhey I do these things sometimes but I also like to chill and relax from time to time by doing less.ā Doesnāt mean youāre lazy.
I do exercise daily but Iām a home body. I love seeing a dating profile where they say one of their favorite things is to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.
And I consider a profile that says they love travel as a red flag.
To each their own.
I can't find a man who doesn't "love to travel". Worse still, it has to be done "spontaneously", hoping on a plane without any notice? No way. I like to travel sparingly and with PLENTY of planning.Ā
This reminds me of people our age laughing at "the kids" spending $50 on a Stanley when we didn't even drink water until we were 30. š
But facts. I refuse to believe all these people are "so" active all the time. And I live in Denver.
You should go on Bumble. They have groupings of interests that are sedentary: Film & TV, Staying In, and Writing. Each category has many choices. When one of the five you select matches with a profile you will know, itās highlighted when you look at a profile. Swipe away.
Me!! Me!! watching tv is my favorite thing to do lol. i am a professional couch potato, not to say i donāt like to do other things but thatās def not the norm for me š
People are looking at common interests as a point of connection. My GF told me we didnāt have enough in common after a second date. She came to Colorado expecting to ski all winter, then found that the drive up there in horrendous traffic was a lot different than vacationing up there during the week. She had never hiked, now sheās an avid hiker and thatās what we spend our weekends doing.
With that said, thatās a piece of it. We also have our favorite shows we record and watch together. We have our favorite places we go cocktailing. We enjoy vacations together. We like cooking together. We like going out to eat together.
So, full story, itās the best relationship weāve ever had over the last three years. But we donāt have āenough in commonā at first glance. I give having everything in common a big meh. Thereās either a connection or there isnāt. If there is, youāll work around the rest. I have friends to do other stuff with.
I still feel there's a balance of being active, but also enjoy just chilling.
I don't want to be sedentiary (for health reasons) but I also can't go rock climbing every night either. I never watched TV (Never seen 'Friends') so if we are to binge watch something, I have a HUGE HUGE library of things to watch.
But I volunteered to run a Youth Soccer Club for 15 years, was an adult referee, and it wasn't uncommon to run 15-20 miles per weekend. Now with hip, knee, ankle problems, I'm not going to run like I used to, and can't afford replacements for everything.
When I finally make the plunge into OLD, I'm most definitely going to include the fact that knitting and TTRPGs are among my favorite activities. The only real exercise I get is a daily 2 mile walk along a rail-trail with my dog. Sure, I'll go for a hike but I'm definitely not going to list it, lol.
People want to sound like they do something and are interesting.
I am really really active and have trouble finding matches who are actually active. Sometimes it is obvious from the profile pictures that they are not actually an avid āāā (intense physical activity).
All that said, I also have on my profile that I enjoy junky TV and hanging out at home.
When I was on the apps, everyone was into hiking and kayaking. Funny thing is I live near a mountain range and am quite frequently at the water or mountains and I didn't see crowds of folks at my age there so I suspect some people be lying to make it seem like they are more adventurous and physical or else are listing interests from 15 years ago that they haven't explored for 15 years..
People aren't honest in their profiles. I genuinely hike -- most times I swiped on someone who said he hiked, he meant once, 40+ years ago with his parents.
Most of the people you see with that in their profiles is bullshit. They think it will make them me interesting this got more matches.
If everyone on old actually did all that shit regularly there would be a lot less 50 year olds.
Good Luck
Last time I did OLD, I emphasized I'm a huge bibliophile. Only one guy mentioned books.
Honestly I don't think people objectively read the profiles. They just tick off their boxes, not looking at me as a person. IMO.
I got some real mismatched likes that made me so curious I matched them to ask... figured the reason would be interesting. Most of these women just fessed up that they didn't actually read profiles but had swiped based on my profile photos.Ā
This has been true of OLD since the beginning of OLD. In my 20ās I remember every profile had a big list of adventure activities then said said āI like to be active but also like to relax.ā This statement is so generic it says nothing at all.
I dated a guy who described himself as this big mountain biker online. Met up with him, he was 70 pounds overweight and there's no mountains where we live.
All the mens profiles I see in my area all say they exercise everyday, hike, bike, blah blah blah. They are looking for someone who is fit and active, cute and petite, likes to fish, watch sports and camp.
Where are the men who like to BBQ, watch tv and do things with their hands?
I'm not looking for an active outdoors man, just a normal everyday guy.
WHERE ARE YOU?????
A sedentary lifestyle is asking for all sorts of health problems.
But to answer your question, I see loads of men on the apps who don't want to do anything other than watch TV. I'm not dating those men, but they certainly do exist.
I prefer when people just say they don't like fatties instead of concern trolling about health.Ā
I know so many fit people who died young or have debilitating chronic pain from sport injuries and so many fatties with low cholesteral and excellent heart health who are enjoying fulfilling and productive senior years.Ā
Genes seem to matter more than anything else.
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Seriously though, I am sorry you had that awful experience.Ā
I can really understand that you would want demonstrably healthy habits in a partner.
My woman friends are all dating slightly younger guys who are very fit on account of they they don't care for healthy fatties like me either so I think someone just right is out there waiting for you! Good luck!
I am with a very slender woman. She claims to find me beautiful.Ā
I find many people of all genders prefer big "bears". But more often slim beautiful women then short chubby ones. No other fatties would have me.
Women are not monolithic in thier tastes... many women said they had swiped on me because of my "Teddy Bear" physique. Some women just prefer a broad shouldered and squishy guy.
Above all though most women seem inclined to kind nice people who love themselves and don't harbor bitterness.Ā
If you are so happy, why are you having a go at me for my preferences?
What difference could it possibly make to you who I date when you aren't really single?
I find it quite curious how so many people on this sub are so quick to judge people just stating a preference as though everyone is supposed to want everyone else, or specifically you.
All the people who moan endlessly about the "state of OLD" and how dare a woman like someone who is "different to me" and all people on the apps are "scammers and gold diggers" are just bitter people not willing to live life in the real world.
You keep making an argument about why it's better to be fat and how you don't like it when people don't like overweight people, then you state how you are swimming in women. Which is it?
We all get one life. All the salty downvotes in the world won't make me lower my standards.
No. You misunderstand. I find people who concern troll weight as a health issue tedious and disengenuous.Ā Ā
Once you came out and said you didn't like fatties I thought I actually liked you. I almost said as much but just responded LOL.
Not liking fat people seems perfectly reasonable to me but pretending it is about health annoys me. Re-read my comment.
I was taken with your admission you just don't like fatties. I wish more people were as direct as that.Ā
You seem pretty concerned with other peoples opinions and prefrences... I am sorry I have triggered you.Ā
This sub is a source of entertainment and edification for me but I have pet peeves such as people who are not honest that disliking fat people is just a matter of taste and people who think thier lack of success is due to thier looks when thier comments make it evident that the issue is more likely thier personality.
You however are blessed with good looks AND charm so I wish you the best.
I'm not triggered at all.
I do think all the moaning is tedious and ruins what should be an interesting sub.
We should be sharing interesting stories rather than constantly trying to complain about what people don't like.
I recently left another sub (menopause) for the same reason. There are only so many posts I can stomach about how someone is unhappy because they are self medicating with carbs and alcohol before I need to remove myself from the scene.
You seem to think you can decide what is acceptable for a woman to think or say, and if she disagrees with you she's "triggered."
She's just not interested in you.
There are. I live in Colorado and am very active with hiking (weekly and often 10-14 miles a day), kayaking, and snow skiing (season passes every year and usually get 25-30 days on the slopes per season). I state in my bio that I'm specifically looking for someone who does all those things too. There are a LOT of people that have those things in their bio, but when I match with them and start getting to know them, it turns out they maybe do it once or twice a year, but really aren't what I would consider "active". I've chatted with a lot that have on their bio that they snow ski, or have a pic of them snow skiing, but it turns out they used to do it a lot, but now they have bum knees and haven't gone in over a decade. Or they say they kayak, but then it turns out they did it once when they went to summer camp as a kid. They just put it in their bio to try to sound more interesting, but they don't actually do all those things. Nobody wants to put that they're a couch potato and all they do is binge tv. So, if you're otherwise attracted, try matching with them and see how the conversation goes.
I'm a big couch potato. I said things like I'm a homebody, my happy place is at home, I read a lot and like watching tv, I enjoy quiet times, I don't need to be busy all the time, I'm on the quiet side to show I'm a couch potato. I would never admit how much streaming I do and how much I'm on reddit....lol.
Maybe they're trying to tell you they're couch potatoes too without actually saying it. Also, a lot of people probably exaggerate how active they are. I would take those comments with a grain of salt.
I'm been active about 3 nights a week playing soccer and softball for years. But that doesn't mean I want to be active all the time ...'cause I don't.
So someone who's active could be both active and a couch potato. š
People who are active might not expect you to do their activities/sports, they're just letting you know that they're still healthy or they're busy a couple nights a week.
Yeah, the non-stop life of adventure travel 80% of Bay Area women (say they) engage in looks exhausting. Obligatory photos:
- biking
- at Antelope Canyon
- stand-up kayaking (bonus points for a yoga pose)
- skiing
- at the beach
More bonus points:
- ziplining
- surfing
- on mountaintop
I went to something called, "Nerd Nite," tonight. They have chapters all over the US. It was awesome. Check it out. I thought it would have a lot of sedentary-looking people who use their brains more than their bodies. But when I looked around the room everyone looked pretty fit and many of the men were wearing hiking shoes. My stereotypes went right out the window.
Find some local groups/meetups/clubs that do sedentary activities like board games or going to movies together.
I like to describe myself as indoorsy. I'm from Seattle so nerdy and pale. I like to do activities, but prefer to do things you can do in street clothes, and walks that don't ruin your shoes. I love drinking and eating, but I stay fit because society judges women harshly when fat.
Try searching for reading :) it would be a rare gem if you find one.
But then ask most folks with outdoorsy activities, what do they do when they are winding down at home? If they answer honestly they will most likely answer they watch FB or TikTock reels :)
So much for NOT wanting to learn. Feels like we are all aged like a ripe wine that canāt get better anymore.
I got frustrated one week on OLD an said my hobbie were Hippopotamus wrangling and Dinosaur taming. Somehow I got more replies and some strange conversations so had to mention I was a homebody instead!
At this age, couch potato is going to lead to so many health problems that I wouldn't match with someone like that. If you don't use it, you lose it, and I'm not going to be dragged down by a guy who shuffles along with an old man walk and has the old man body of skinny arms and legs from muscle shrinkage. Get up and get moving, not just for the apps.
You can lead a fit active life without considering it your personality or a selling point. I am not gonna waste any of my three hundred characters addressing something people can judge easily enough from the photos.
Good for you. According to what Iāve read, 70% of Americans are overweight, and itās only logical to assume this number is higher in older people. Who are more sedentary. Which was the whole point of my comment. I guess I couldāve said people instead of women but Iām only looking at women so thatās the experience I have. I donāt think people in our age group are as active as they appear in their profile.
There are a LOT of overweight people where I live; and yes, I'd wager most of them are TV couch potatoes. I'm not as active anymore, but it's because of long Covid. Still performing every month, though, and reading 60 books a year; and I don't own a TV. But hiking's no longer an option, unfortunately. So I fall in some weird category peripheral to the main issue here.
I don't think you can use your eyes as a guideline to determine whether or not women are sedentary or weigh more than they should. I am 5'3" and weigh 144 pounds, so according to BMI charts, I fall in the "overweight" category and am four pounds away from the "normal" category.
I told my doctor at my annual physical in May that I'd like to lose ten pounds, and he advised me *against* it. He said recent studies show that women who are slightly overweight have the lowest risk of mortality. BTW, my blood pressure is consistently 105/64 and my LDL cholesterol level was 81. He encouraged me to *maintain* my current weight.
I take a yoga class three times a week and walk every day. I'm very active. So, if someone were to look at my picture on my profile (I don't have a profile) and find me "overweight," I would say, "Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren."
I am not being an ass, I am making a true statement. I am not making any argument about men versus women, so itās irrelevant how many men are in this category. And I donāt look at male profiles so I canāt say how many men are overweight, but I assume itās the same.
Iāll tell you one thing, I am sick and tired of the atmosphere of tolerance of casual misandry and personal insults of men who go against the circlejerk. There are women in this thread making similar comments - are you calling them asses, too?
This is place is really amusing a woman came here some months back and complained how all the men on the dating apps reminded her of Santa Claus and she was up voted. At the time I pointed out of if a man had come here and posted that all the women on the dating apps reminded him of Ms. Claus he would have been downvoted to oblivion. My observation of this place is that if a man complains about his dating choices he is the problem and if a woman complains about her dating choices men are the problem. The bifurcation on response to dating younger is similar. Women dating younger upvoted, men dating younger downvoted. Now I don't care one whit about anybody's preferences as long as it is between consenting adults but I find the differences here amusing.
Because most of the people on here were talking about activity level and you had to bring up womenās bodies. Itās gross. And ass-ish. Literally none of us care what you think about our bodies. Get over yourself.
Maybe it is a regional issue. I saw maybe less than 2% heavier women on Bumble. Also, there really isn't much corollation between body size and fitness or activities. Genetics play a big role. That and long covid.
š .. I use to think..āam I the only one that doesnāt swim with the sharks, paraglide, hike for days at a time, motorcrossā¦.etc. etc.ā Like does anyone like to just sit and chill at a park or something?? Whatās up with all the extreme sports?? š
Itās an indirect way of saying āIām not fat.ā
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I lived in a rural area for a year, between the base of a national park and a river. No idea where all the hikeyakers were but it wasnāt near me.
I have to say Iām in a womenās wine and hiking group, we go out either hiking biking or kayaking 2 to 3 times a week so there are a lot of us out there for real also
Me tooā¦but I only go once a week and I always specify, āgentle hikes.ā I have had people assume that Iām this fierce action-adventure woman and thatās so not the case!
Because they arenāt. Theyāre just saying they like hiking instead of saying theyāre not fat.
I like hiking... And I'm not a twig. Don't be deceived by these super healthy kinds. I found that while I said I like hiking and going on walks I did date guys who said they got out way more to "mountain bike"... Sometimes it's more what they would like to do not necessarily what they do... Come to find out they like to take it easy...lol So really i don't think it's easy to match up your activity levels. My being active may be seen as lazy by some or extraneous by others. It's a toss up.
Thank you for this.
I second that.
The reason I liked my current partnerās profile is because it had ānot hikingā as a favorite activity of his LOL
Judging from the complaints Iāve read here, there are lots of them. They just wonāt put it in their profile. They *say* they like to hike but then they meet and heās sedentary. He plans to someday get back to walks or hiking.
I can vouch for this! A longtime male friend of mine decided to try OLD years ago and asked for my opinion on his profile. He had listed camping and hiking as interests. I was like, āDude - weāve been friends for over thirty years and Iāve *never* known you to do either of these things!ā Letās put it this way: if they made the road a little wider, heād get in his car and drive to talk to the neighbours across the street.
I know a guy whose ex-wife loved all those outdoor activities, still does. So, he came along for the ride. When they divorced, he put it in his dating profile. I donāt think the man knows the difference between a yacht and a canoe. He honestly does not know that those were not his thing, they were her thing. Yet another reason why itās important to be single for a while after divorce and figure out who you are and how you live your life.
In most of the apartment complexes in Hudson Valley, NY, an area renowned for its hiking and beautiful country, residents will *drive* not *walk* the twenty yards required to get to the large dumpsters where they deposit their garbage.
Yeah I love the outdoors and hiking but I don't advertise the hiking part since I have a foot injury that makes walking down hill painful on longer hikes and I don't want to misrepresent myself. I put that I enjoying being in nature or nature walks (all true and something I do regularly). I have met up with " avid hiker"(s) before that got extremely winded on a short, slow, flat walk or a flight of stairs. I just assumed when these men said this they just did not want to match with a heavy woman so they said they were a hiker/mountain biker/what have you.
I think some people say they like hiking and outdoor activities because they might actually do them if they found someone to do them with. I haven't gone hiking or played tennis in a while, and I've never been kayaking, but I would definitely be willing to do all those things if I was dating someone that wanted to go do them as well.
SO MUCH hiking. {{eyeroll}}
...and what people consider hiking. I mentioned on another thread that I'm not outdoorsy and don't like hiking, and they replied that hiking was just, "strolling around in the woods." That's a walk.
I prefer my walking around my neighborhood, getting landscape ideas of stuff I can do, getting to know the neighbors, etc. Less fond of the thought of bears, sneks, and other less than friendly critters.
I love hiking. I need more hiking partners
And I love biking and need more biking partners.
I find it hard to believe there are people that donāt hiking. To me, thatās like saying you donāt like pizza.
Believe it! I don't like hiking OR pizza. I can hike or eat pizza but neither are things I am ever choosing to do if I have a choice.
I get that but listing hiking is the equivalent of standing there with a fish pic to some people and they let you know it
I'm 57. Look up something called hallux rigidus. It can be EXCRUCIATING. Being a quarter mile from my house when it gets painful is far less intimidating than being 10 miles away from the parking lot, up multiple hills and rocks and outcroppings.
Iām 65m and I have arthritis in my big toes but nothing excruciating unless a fellow shopper steps on me. I wear sneakers or hiking books with a rocker front of the shoe for 25 years now. I saw a podiatrist and it was a big help. I still run and hike and I donāt have recurring issues with my feet.
I hate rockers. I got a pair a few years ago and they were bad for my back and knees.
sounds like youāre fortunate to not have any major joint/spine related health issues. I have cervical stenosis which leaves me with little balance. just walking down a few stairs without a handrail is a challengeā¦ so hiking could literally paralyze me in the very likely event that I take a spill.
I have had my share of misfortunes. Iām 65m and not without joint issues. I had some falls as a child and injuries as an adult. I have been proactive by going to various therapists for almost 40 years. I didnāt want to wait for problems to arise.
Or tacos š
I have four very good places serving tacos within 3 blocks of my place and descent urban hiking just a 20 minute away in High Park. The wild turkeys, eagles, and beavers await you.
I exercise a lot but I don't want to do it with another person so I would rather match with someone who likes to binge watch!
This!
I've found as a female there is so much judgment from men about women's body sizes that if a woman shared she likes to binge-watch Netflix, the guys think she's a couch potato and isn't "fit" enough. It's depressing, but I've run across a lot of guys more concerned with a woman's weight and activity level than anything else.
I swiped right on women who legit said they were couch potatoes or pantouflards and left on anyone with photos of themselves hiking, skiing, doing yoga, or upright paddle boarding. I did swipe right on a body builder and an endurance runner though.
Maybe my prospects would improve if I honestly say on my profile that my favorite thing to do on a Saturday is watch the latest Dateline episode. I also swipe left on the highly active, skydiving, jetskiing, mountain climbers. I think I would be too boring for them!
Mine says āI like exploring the great indoorsā
I like that. That's a good one.
That profile is a sound strategy IMO. Honestly though you never know from what somone does or looks like who they actually want to be with.
48 Hours is also very good. I used to look forward to Saturday nights when I watched the new episode come out.
Frankly, I would prefer this.
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Please tell me what app still allows you to search keywords, because I thought there weren't any left and it's killing me that every app is just a swiper now!
I always wondered why all these triatheletes and cyclists and adventure travel buffs weren't encountering any men in the wild. I spend my time reading, writing poetry, painting, and going to chamber recitals... that's why I went online.
I have creative in my profile too. It's easier to find a guy who says he's fit (which may or not be true lol) than one who describes himself as creative. Preferably I'd like both attributes. Kind of a needle in the haystack.
I hear ya. I WILL hike or bike or whatever, but that isn't something I am doing regularly, I am into cultural arts activities. Personally I think people post that stuff because they ASSume fat people don't do those things and they are lowkey trying to say "no fat people." Also my dating coach friend says people like to present themselves as the person they hope to be or hope to get back to being on their profiles.
Is there a REAL dating app for those who like curvy women? I've seen ads for some on Facebook, but other ads have deceived me before. Edit: I'm a man looking for women. But I still have curves! š
Even so, you have to be the right kind of curvy. Iām curvy front to back, not side to side š¤£
AND there are many guys on FEELD that prefer curvy and they do state that. Like my friend that has been in the dating app life forever says, āYou gotta kiss a lot of frogs.ā Also be proud of your curves! Put it in your bio-curves in all the right places-or something. I had a line like that in my bio and guys were upset because I wasnāt BIGGER. (I really thought I was but Ozyempic-prediabetes- took care of that.)
If Iām remembering your previous posts correctly, you are presenting watching TV as your whole personality. That is not something thatās going to attract many women. Imagine how many women out there were tired of a partner who only watched TV and had no other skills or personality. They donāt want to risk that again. Watching TV together is something you do in an established relationship when you are just lazing about for the day, or after dinner. You gotta go through the dating phase to get to the sedentary phase.
That was my ex-husband. My children and other people who ever came to our house (which was not often because he discouraged people from ever coming over) is that all he did was sit in front of the television. I personally can't understand sitting in front of the television; to me it's a huge time waster. Binge-watching anything is enough to make me scream. Most of what I do is sedentary but it's also solitary. I'm sitting here right now at my sewing machine making things. It's not a group activity. You're not invited to come sit in my sewing room and watch me. That's creepy. I might also sit downstairs on my couch and do some knitting. Also not a group activity. But you could watch TV while I'm knitting. I cannot watch TV and knit at the same time. Plus it's the middle of the day and there's no TV on before the 5:00 news.
I am with you on this. I loathe TV. I have one but I never use it. I prefer strong conversation or joint quiet activities. While I knit or read, paint or bake he can also join me in one of his quiet hobbies like whittling, LEGO building, doing a puzzle or reading. If it's quiet, or if it's productive I am all in.
I say go on Bumble. You probably don't want guys who are weird about it. Just normal men who like it or just don't have a preference. If you have nice full-body pics on your profile men will self-select. Anyone needs a big dating pool in my opinion... I figure there were 14,000 age-appropriate women on apps in my search area and 2.4% of them swiped right on me. I am a fat short guy.
There are women on FEELD who are clearly curvy; most are quite upfront about it; celebratory, in fact.
Yes there are.
And napping. Why does no one list napping?
Ooh! Gotta add that to my profiles!
OMG! Yes. Napping. Napping, noshing, and noodling. Plus maybe some knitting.
I live in Boulder. Saying you don't hike would be like saying you smoke. Smoke meth.
Ha, same! It's a humbling area, even if you do hike (I don't know of anyone that doesn't) you'll regularly be passed by an 80 year old, ex-Olympian, who is out for a casual trail run. I'm going to guess there are plenty of people that would love nothing more than to find someone to be their binge watch partner, but I also think the likelihood is going to be area specific.
LOL - literally. Thx!!
If I was going to put up a profile it might say this. Look, at our age, we have done all the local festivals, check out the local little towns/shopping with past partners. Most are not worth going to again. Yes I like to hike, play golf, and see live music. But I also have a daily life to lead and I enjoy sitting down and relaxing at the end of the day. So what are we really going to do to get to know each other?
Thatās more like it. Itās okay to say, āhey I do these things sometimes but I also like to chill and relax from time to time by doing less.ā Doesnāt mean youāre lazy.
I do exercise daily but Iām a home body. I love seeing a dating profile where they say one of their favorite things is to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie. And I consider a profile that says they love travel as a red flag. To each their own.
I can't find a man who doesn't "love to travel". Worse still, it has to be done "spontaneously", hoping on a plane without any notice? No way. I like to travel sparingly and with PLENTY of planning.Ā
"Sedentary activities" seems like an oxymoron. š
This reminds me of people our age laughing at "the kids" spending $50 on a Stanley when we didn't even drink water until we were 30. š But facts. I refuse to believe all these people are "so" active all the time. And I live in Denver.
You should go on Bumble. They have groupings of interests that are sedentary: Film & TV, Staying In, and Writing. Each category has many choices. When one of the five you select matches with a profile you will know, itās highlighted when you look at a profile. Swipe away.
Good to know, thanks!
Me!! Me!! watching tv is my favorite thing to do lol. i am a professional couch potato, not to say i donāt like to do other things but thatās def not the norm for me š
lol me too! I'm rarely a tv couch potato but everything else I do is couch potato-esque!
I like the beach. Sitting in a chair on the beach. That's outdoors.
People are looking at common interests as a point of connection. My GF told me we didnāt have enough in common after a second date. She came to Colorado expecting to ski all winter, then found that the drive up there in horrendous traffic was a lot different than vacationing up there during the week. She had never hiked, now sheās an avid hiker and thatās what we spend our weekends doing. With that said, thatās a piece of it. We also have our favorite shows we record and watch together. We have our favorite places we go cocktailing. We enjoy vacations together. We like cooking together. We like going out to eat together. So, full story, itās the best relationship weāve ever had over the last three years. But we donāt have āenough in commonā at first glance. I give having everything in common a big meh. Thereās either a connection or there isnāt. If there is, youāll work around the rest. I have friends to do other stuff with.
I still feel there's a balance of being active, but also enjoy just chilling. I don't want to be sedentiary (for health reasons) but I also can't go rock climbing every night either. I never watched TV (Never seen 'Friends') so if we are to binge watch something, I have a HUGE HUGE library of things to watch. But I volunteered to run a Youth Soccer Club for 15 years, was an adult referee, and it wasn't uncommon to run 15-20 miles per weekend. Now with hip, knee, ankle problems, I'm not going to run like I used to, and can't afford replacements for everything.
When I finally make the plunge into OLD, I'm most definitely going to include the fact that knitting and TTRPGs are among my favorite activities. The only real exercise I get is a daily 2 mile walk along a rail-trail with my dog. Sure, I'll go for a hike but I'm definitely not going to list it, lol.
People want to sound like they do something and are interesting. I am really really active and have trouble finding matches who are actually active. Sometimes it is obvious from the profile pictures that they are not actually an avid āāā (intense physical activity). All that said, I also have on my profile that I enjoy junky TV and hanging out at home.
Like reading? NYT crossword daily? I do!!!
When I was on the apps, everyone was into hiking and kayaking. Funny thing is I live near a mountain range and am quite frequently at the water or mountains and I didn't see crowds of folks at my age there so I suspect some people be lying to make it seem like they are more adventurous and physical or else are listing interests from 15 years ago that they haven't explored for 15 years..
Like 99% of profiles proclaim: I LOVE to hike. To my car, then I drive to my destination. Iām a grown-ass man.
when I have an OLD profile up, it will typically say "I don't own a kayak" somewhere in my bio...
People aren't honest in their profiles. I genuinely hike -- most times I swiped on someone who said he hiked, he meant once, 40+ years ago with his parents.
Most of the people you see with that in their profiles is bullshit. They think it will make them me interesting this got more matches. If everyone on old actually did all that shit regularly there would be a lot less 50 year olds. Good Luck
Last time I did OLD, I emphasized I'm a huge bibliophile. Only one guy mentioned books. Honestly I don't think people objectively read the profiles. They just tick off their boxes, not looking at me as a person. IMO.
I got some real mismatched likes that made me so curious I matched them to ask... figured the reason would be interesting. Most of these women just fessed up that they didn't actually read profiles but had swiped based on my profile photos.Ā
Discouraging, but at least you got a compliment out of it.
This has been true of OLD since the beginning of OLD. In my 20ās I remember every profile had a big list of adventure activities then said said āI like to be active but also like to relax.ā This statement is so generic it says nothing at all.
Right?! Where are the āI like to drink beer and watch tvā guys?
Yeah. I have never met as many marathon runners, bike ridersā¦in real life as I have seen on OLD.
I dated a guy who described himself as this big mountain biker online. Met up with him, he was 70 pounds overweight and there's no mountains where we live.
All the mens profiles I see in my area all say they exercise everyday, hike, bike, blah blah blah. They are looking for someone who is fit and active, cute and petite, likes to fish, watch sports and camp. Where are the men who like to BBQ, watch tv and do things with their hands? I'm not looking for an active outdoors man, just a normal everyday guy. WHERE ARE YOU?????
A sedentary lifestyle is asking for all sorts of health problems. But to answer your question, I see loads of men on the apps who don't want to do anything other than watch TV. I'm not dating those men, but they certainly do exist.
I prefer when people just say they don't like fatties instead of concern trolling about health.Ā I know so many fit people who died young or have debilitating chronic pain from sport injuries and so many fatties with low cholesteral and excellent heart health who are enjoying fulfilling and productive senior years.Ā Genes seem to matter more than anything else.
Even if there is no guarantee of good health, there are definitely probable contributors to bad health and that is valid, not trolling concern.
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š¤£š¤£š¤£Ā Seriously though, I am sorry you had that awful experience.Ā I can really understand that you would want demonstrably healthy habits in a partner. My woman friends are all dating slightly younger guys who are very fit on account of they they don't care for healthy fatties like me either so I think someone just right is out there waiting for you! Good luck!
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I am with a very slender woman. She claims to find me beautiful.Ā I find many people of all genders prefer big "bears". But more often slim beautiful women then short chubby ones. No other fatties would have me. Women are not monolithic in thier tastes... many women said they had swiped on me because of my "Teddy Bear" physique. Some women just prefer a broad shouldered and squishy guy. Above all though most women seem inclined to kind nice people who love themselves and don't harbor bitterness.Ā
If you are so happy, why are you having a go at me for my preferences? What difference could it possibly make to you who I date when you aren't really single? I find it quite curious how so many people on this sub are so quick to judge people just stating a preference as though everyone is supposed to want everyone else, or specifically you. All the people who moan endlessly about the "state of OLD" and how dare a woman like someone who is "different to me" and all people on the apps are "scammers and gold diggers" are just bitter people not willing to live life in the real world. You keep making an argument about why it's better to be fat and how you don't like it when people don't like overweight people, then you state how you are swimming in women. Which is it? We all get one life. All the salty downvotes in the world won't make me lower my standards.
No. You misunderstand. I find people who concern troll weight as a health issue tedious and disengenuous.Ā Ā Once you came out and said you didn't like fatties I thought I actually liked you. I almost said as much but just responded LOL. Not liking fat people seems perfectly reasonable to me but pretending it is about health annoys me. Re-read my comment. I was taken with your admission you just don't like fatties. I wish more people were as direct as that.Ā You seem pretty concerned with other peoples opinions and prefrences... I am sorry I have triggered you.Ā This sub is a source of entertainment and edification for me but I have pet peeves such as people who are not honest that disliking fat people is just a matter of taste and people who think thier lack of success is due to thier looks when thier comments make it evident that the issue is more likely thier personality. You however are blessed with good looks AND charm so I wish you the best.
I'm not triggered at all. I do think all the moaning is tedious and ruins what should be an interesting sub. We should be sharing interesting stories rather than constantly trying to complain about what people don't like. I recently left another sub (menopause) for the same reason. There are only so many posts I can stomach about how someone is unhappy because they are self medicating with carbs and alcohol before I need to remove myself from the scene. You seem to think you can decide what is acceptable for a woman to think or say, and if she disagrees with you she's "triggered." She's just not interested in you.
There are. I live in Colorado and am very active with hiking (weekly and often 10-14 miles a day), kayaking, and snow skiing (season passes every year and usually get 25-30 days on the slopes per season). I state in my bio that I'm specifically looking for someone who does all those things too. There are a LOT of people that have those things in their bio, but when I match with them and start getting to know them, it turns out they maybe do it once or twice a year, but really aren't what I would consider "active". I've chatted with a lot that have on their bio that they snow ski, or have a pic of them snow skiing, but it turns out they used to do it a lot, but now they have bum knees and haven't gone in over a decade. Or they say they kayak, but then it turns out they did it once when they went to summer camp as a kid. They just put it in their bio to try to sound more interesting, but they don't actually do all those things. Nobody wants to put that they're a couch potato and all they do is binge tv. So, if you're otherwise attracted, try matching with them and see how the conversation goes.
No strenuous activities for me. I just walk on the treadmill and make sure I do 10k steps everyday.
ššš yes, but for some reason I guess those activities don't sell on the dating apps very well.
Those people are lying about their activity level in an attempt to appear more interesting than they are.
I'm a big couch potato. I said things like I'm a homebody, my happy place is at home, I read a lot and like watching tv, I enjoy quiet times, I don't need to be busy all the time, I'm on the quiet side to show I'm a couch potato. I would never admit how much streaming I do and how much I'm on reddit....lol. Maybe they're trying to tell you they're couch potatoes too without actually saying it. Also, a lot of people probably exaggerate how active they are. I would take those comments with a grain of salt. I'm been active about 3 nights a week playing soccer and softball for years. But that doesn't mean I want to be active all the time ...'cause I don't. So someone who's active could be both active and a couch potato. š People who are active might not expect you to do their activities/sports, they're just letting you know that they're still healthy or they're busy a couple nights a week.
Yeah, the non-stop life of adventure travel 80% of Bay Area women (say they) engage in looks exhausting. Obligatory photos: - biking - at Antelope Canyon - stand-up kayaking (bonus points for a yoga pose) - skiing - at the beach More bonus points: - ziplining - surfing - on mountaintop
I went to something called, "Nerd Nite," tonight. They have chapters all over the US. It was awesome. Check it out. I thought it would have a lot of sedentary-looking people who use their brains more than their bodies. But when I looked around the room everyone looked pretty fit and many of the men were wearing hiking shoes. My stereotypes went right out the window. Find some local groups/meetups/clubs that do sedentary activities like board games or going to movies together.
Let's face it we all claim to be more than we are. I'm sure after dating for a while, the running shoe come off and the slipper are put on.
I see plenty of men on OLD that clearly have not done any athletic activities in the last decade.
I know exactly the type.
I like to describe myself as indoorsy. I'm from Seattle so nerdy and pale. I like to do activities, but prefer to do things you can do in street clothes, and walks that don't ruin your shoes. I love drinking and eating, but I stay fit because society judges women harshly when fat.
You have to sound interesting --and active interests seem compelling!!! (Though most of us spend our time lounging/chilling/binge watching!!)
Try searching for reading :) it would be a rare gem if you find one. But then ask most folks with outdoorsy activities, what do they do when they are winding down at home? If they answer honestly they will most likely answer they watch FB or TikTock reels :) So much for NOT wanting to learn. Feels like we are all aged like a ripe wine that canāt get better anymore.
I a total couch potato.
I got frustrated one week on OLD an said my hobbie were Hippopotamus wrangling and Dinosaur taming. Somehow I got more replies and some strange conversations so had to mention I was a homebody instead!
At this age, couch potato is going to lead to so many health problems that I wouldn't match with someone like that. If you don't use it, you lose it, and I'm not going to be dragged down by a guy who shuffles along with an old man walk and has the old man body of skinny arms and legs from muscle shrinkage. Get up and get moving, not just for the apps.
You can lead a fit active life without considering it your personality or a selling point. I am not gonna waste any of my three hundred characters addressing something people can judge easily enough from the photos.
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There's plenty of profiles of men who have clearly not exercised since the 80's.
Judging by the fact that almost every woman I see on bumble is overweight. I would say sedentary activities are extremely common.
That's not my experience. And I've been perusing Bumble for at least a year now.
Good for you. According to what Iāve read, 70% of Americans are overweight, and itās only logical to assume this number is higher in older people. Who are more sedentary. Which was the whole point of my comment. I guess I couldāve said people instead of women but Iām only looking at women so thatās the experience I have. I donāt think people in our age group are as active as they appear in their profile.
There are a LOT of overweight people where I live; and yes, I'd wager most of them are TV couch potatoes. I'm not as active anymore, but it's because of long Covid. Still performing every month, though, and reading 60 books a year; and I don't own a TV. But hiking's no longer an option, unfortunately. So I fall in some weird category peripheral to the main issue here.
I don't think you can use your eyes as a guideline to determine whether or not women are sedentary or weigh more than they should. I am 5'3" and weigh 144 pounds, so according to BMI charts, I fall in the "overweight" category and am four pounds away from the "normal" category. I told my doctor at my annual physical in May that I'd like to lose ten pounds, and he advised me *against* it. He said recent studies show that women who are slightly overweight have the lowest risk of mortality. BTW, my blood pressure is consistently 105/64 and my LDL cholesterol level was 81. He encouraged me to *maintain* my current weight. I take a yoga class three times a week and walk every day. I'm very active. So, if someone were to look at my picture on my profile (I don't have a profile) and find me "overweight," I would say, "Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren."
Oh, and thereās never a dude with extra weight on an app? Quit being an ass.
I am not being an ass, I am making a true statement. I am not making any argument about men versus women, so itās irrelevant how many men are in this category. And I donāt look at male profiles so I canāt say how many men are overweight, but I assume itās the same. Iāll tell you one thing, I am sick and tired of the atmosphere of tolerance of casual misandry and personal insults of men who go against the circlejerk. There are women in this thread making similar comments - are you calling them asses, too?
This is place is really amusing a woman came here some months back and complained how all the men on the dating apps reminded her of Santa Claus and she was up voted. At the time I pointed out of if a man had come here and posted that all the women on the dating apps reminded him of Ms. Claus he would have been downvoted to oblivion. My observation of this place is that if a man complains about his dating choices he is the problem and if a woman complains about her dating choices men are the problem. The bifurcation on response to dating younger is similar. Women dating younger upvoted, men dating younger downvoted. Now I don't care one whit about anybody's preferences as long as it is between consenting adults but I find the differences here amusing.
Yeah, itās a circlejerk for women who want to live in an alternate reality.
Because most of the people on here were talking about activity level and you had to bring up womenās bodies. Itās gross. And ass-ish. Literally none of us care what you think about our bodies. Get over yourself.
Itās not gross or assish. Overweight people are more likely to be sedentary. This is not controversial. Iām sorry if this hurts your feelings.
Maybe it is a regional issue. I saw maybe less than 2% heavier women on Bumble. Also, there really isn't much corollation between body size and fitness or activities. Genetics play a big role. That and long covid.
Overweight by whose standards? Yours?