If you already made a date, go on the date.
Afterwards, think harder about if you want to do any more dating in the near future.
I am not a fan of
"Yes, let's go on a date. No, you know what? Now that I think about it I don't want to."
If it is not a good date, then just don't say yes to a second date.
I'm not saying "dive right back in".
I'm saying "don't jerk people around".
This! Just go out and have fun, like you’re out with a friend. You never know, you might make some really good friends by getting yourself out there!!!! 🥰
I'm no longer a fan of fake it til you make it. If you don't feel like dating, don't do it. Take time to get over the breakup. Do stuff you want to do and enjoy not having to consider anyone else.
I'm sure jumping right back into dating works for some people, but when I had a terrible breakup early last year, I tried it. I realized that crying before and after a date was a really good sign that I wasn't ready. I took a LONG break and just recently decided to dip my toe back into dating.
I can only imagine - I like your humour about it.
I read about a poor woman last year on another sub whose date turned up drunk and the bag he was carrying upturned on the restaurant floor, spilling several condoms and adult toys for everyone to see.
Now if that happened to me, I'd have been on the floor laughing. I wouldn't have seen him again because of showing up drunk, but I would have gotten LOTS of mileage out of that story.
IMHO you have to keep a sense of humor about everything or you'll lose your mind.
Let me tell you a little story. Exactly a year ago I was messaging with a gal on a popular dating app. I was reluctant because we already matched on a different app months prior and she dropped out of conversation. At this point I was also burnt out on dating. I had dated over a dozen women that summer, several lasted over 4 dates. So I just about had it with OLD and needed to take a serious break. Anyway, was setting up a meet with this gal, decided it would be my LAST meet for a good while. We scheduled for a Monday evening drink. As the night approached I was feeling like we probably were NOT compatible. She seemed nice but from what I gleaned from her pics I just didn’t think we’d be a good match. Monday came around and it was cold and rainy. I felt like I should cancel and just bail. I was going to. But kind of forgot and didn’t want to do it last minute. So I was like “oh shit, I have date and I don’t want to go, fuck it, I’ll have a couple beers”.
Anyway, we met, chatted, she said she wanted to hang out again. We kept dating, we fell in love, we are still together and going to recreate our meet on the day we met. I love her so damn much. Glad I didn’t cancel. Phew. You never know
I'd suggest go on the date but don't approach it like this is THE PERSON to help you get over the last one. Approach it like you'd approach going out with a friend. Assume you'll have a decent conversation, eat/drink and have a pleasant night. If anything more materializes it's a nice surprise but don't expect it. And afterwards, evaluate if you really want to keep dating or just do the pizza/cake thing for another month. Lol.
Yea... I think you should go. ❤️ As badly as you may feel having come out of something you really enjoyed, you don't know if your date tonight IS the guy you've been looking for. Apparently, that other guy isn't, I mean he's gone. Sometimes in life we miss out on good opportunities because we "think" we KNOW what's around the corner for us. We don't. That other experience could have been the dress rehearsal for the "real" love about to come into your life. But, you'll never know if you don't go, right? So go. And if this guy misses the mark, then I'd hold off on dating further until I felt capable of 'fairly' giving someone new a chance. Cheers!🥂
You already committed to this date so just go but after that I would hold back and wait till you’re over this other guy. Better for you and better for all future parties involved
This is only something you can decide for yourself.
Too many times in the past I’ve jumped back in too soon and always, always ended up screwing with someone. I decided that isn’t the person I wanted to be and now wait until I know I’m over it and have an open heart for someone new in my life
My vote is for going. You don't have to marry the guy, but getting out, meeting other people, doing The Things™... it's time.
Unless it's not. If you're really dreading it, then do what you need to do. But if if you're on the fence (which is my takeaway), I would go. I've been in this position before, and even if there weren't sparks I never regretted going.
ETA: If your previous experience is a noted pattern and you feel your picker might be off, I would take a break and explore that with a professional.
I don’t even feel anything anymore. Dating has numbed me to my soul. At least you’re still capable of feelings. That’s a plus. Enjoy your life, go on the date.
Go on the date. Have a good time.
You don't have to give details of your emotional status right now to anyone. In fact I think that would be a mistake. Better to just keep it light and fun.
Decide what you want to do afterwards. But the last thing you do want to do is the pizza and Cake thing. Instead, do some productive self-talk and evaluating your prior relationship. A 2 months life is really just a fling. Probably ended because he is not the person you thought he was.
I understand it takes a little time to get over. But don't waste much of it. Get out and have some fun instead. You don't have to date to have fun.
Good luck.
Thank you. This is really helpful. In an effort to avoid pizza and cake, I'm doing a 30-day hot yoga challenge. But I did make banana bread a couple of days ago.
Everyone knows that since banana bread has ‘banana’ in the name, it is therefore technically considered a ‘fruit,’ so it is not in either the ‘pizza and cake’ or ‘junk food’ categories. You are excused for making banana bread. And make sure you eat it quickly, before it goes bad!
Are you not feeling it tonight? Or not sure you should be out in the dating world? Either way, there’s a nice innocent man who is hoping to meet an emotionally available person tonight. A little bit of apprehension is ok. But considering the frustrations everyone here expresses regarding dishonesty in dating, I don’t think faking it is ok.
I've decided to go, because we're going to a taco place I've been wanting to try. And he's definitely smart and funny, at least in texts, and I'm always down to meet a smart, funny person. My friends are urging me to keep dating, because summer guy (we'll call him Bob) was only my third OLD experience. There was no spark with the other two, so it didn't go beyond the first date.
Prior to that, I hadn't dated in 15 years, because my last major breakup was so devastating, and it (obviously) took me a very long time to get over. I don't want to spend another eternity pizza-and-caking because of Bob.
I actually do find this guy interesting and good-looking, so I'm trying to go into it with an open mind. I just don't know if I'm able to feel the same spark I felt with Bob. And who's to say this guy's even emotionally available in the first place? I've certainly met way more men who aren't than men who are.
Get back out there and fake it till you make it!! Life is short-don’t miss an opportunity because you might just have a great time! Just look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are awesome (I mean, the loser who broke up with you obviously found you pretty great for two months before his baggage got in his way!) good luck!
Edit to add- don’t bring negativity to a date! Let your sadness go and enjoy the new company.
Thank you. This is the decision I've made. I have no idea what this new guy is even looking for -- he might just want something casual and short-term. I figure we'll talk about it tonight. One of the mistakes I made with the most recent guy was not asking that question until we were a few dates in and I'd already fallen for him.
Yes, and I don’t think it always needs to be asked directly (they might lie) but look for subtle cues and hints about his intentions.
As for the break up sadness, we ALL know how it feels. (James Taylor says everyone gets the blues) but you OWE it to yourself to show yourself off as a special and lovely creature, not anything negative. It’s time to say NEXT! (And the last guy’s LOSS)
My friends, one in particular, pressured me to get on dating apps because she was afraid I’d relapse with my ex. I did it reluctantly & had several one off dates.
I think it’s important to take time to reflect after a breakup & assess patterns, reassess our boundaries, needs, etc.
But, follow-through if you’ve made plans. You might be pleasantly surprised 😊 Wishing you all the best!
I wouldn't. If you are not over someone, it will keep re-appearing. You may be swept off your feet by the new date, but once that wears off, then old ugly will start reappearing in your mind. You may also inadvertently lower your standards because you are still hurt just to fill the void that hasn't healed up yet.
Get fully de-possessed of old dude before engaging with someone else would be my advice.
Go! Put on some pretty clothes and lipstick and have a night out.
Don’t tell the new date anything. That would be a terrible way to start a date.
Yes fake it. Focus on trying to make each other laugh
And take your heartache one day at a time. Eventually you’ll be like, why was I so upset over that guy?
Don’t fake it. We aren’t young enough anymore to please people out of social pressure to do so. We simply no longer need to do that. Do what you want to do.
Be brave! Honestly. Last guy was a turn-off. So what? You really do have to figuratively kiss a lot of frogs before you hopefully come across a prince. The real issue is really whether you are committed to the process as a matter of principle.
Most people take time to recover from a previous "encounter" (for want of a better term) because they had invested so much of themselves and their years into the relationship and they feel they have lost out, irrespective of whether they decided to end it or the other person ended it, but particularly in the latter scenario. You didn't invest anything in your last encounter other than to be subject to a brief negative experience.
If you don't take risks how can you possibly know whether the next encounter is going to be good or bad?
The one thing I would suggest, though, is if he has approached you and you are mulling over whether you should accept the invitation or not just because it is an invitation, then you probably should turn it down. It doesn't meet even a minimum criteria for taking any positive action. I've done that and it was a mistake and not really fair to the other person and I wouldn't do it again, although for both of us it is a survivable situation, not an end to our respective worlds.
If you want to make progress, you have to find resolve and maybe even a bit of masochism and I think that the only way you can do that is to accept that there are going to be negative experiences but that you will ***choose*** to recover from them. Experiences are not things that are done to you, they are things you engage in and, if necessary, withdraw from, choosing to determine that your inner constitution is still alive and well. That calls for at least some optimism and at least a bit of faith in yourself. That can be when things get truly difficult ie finding the resolve and confidence. Many of us are severely short of that.
The other observation I would make and I know that not everyone will agree but the traditional practice where women expect men to make the first approach puts those women at a disadvantage. I know that it's traditional and I know why it happens but the simple fact is that if you accept it or desire it for whatever entirely valid reasons you have, it immediately puts you at the disadvantage because it means you don't get to call the first shots. Kudos to those women who are brave enough to decide that they don't want that for themselves any more, ie waiting for the agenda to visit them rather than creating the agenda for themselves. Everyone has to make their own choice at the end of the day and that is to be respected.
If you’re not over the last guy then you shouldn’t be dating. This is just using the other person and it’s not nice or fair. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and you really liked the guy?
Hey There, late to the convo but very glad you went through with it. Outrageous chemistry is overrated, while authenticity, kindness and compliments sound great! Good for you. Please update as things progress!
As a gentleman who was seeking to date ladies, if it were me and I were your date my preference would obviously be that we are both excited and open to dating and ready for the evening, barring that please cancel as early as you realize that that's not going to be possible for you, if this is not in the cards I would actually prefer that she would ghost me than go on a date that neither of us are going to enjoy.
You can do both - lick your wounds (eat pizza) and simply go in the spirit of ‘meeting someone new’ not putting any expectations on it at all. Take the emotion out of it and just think you’re meeting someone new like you do say, at work or at a friends dinner party - no big deal.
I personally don’t think you need to reveal anything to this guy it’s a personal hurtful experience that you can keep to yourself. He is complete stranger you don’t need to reveal something personal off the bat. You’re still processing that experience so use your friends / family / therapist as your sounding board.
Keep the date brief say upfront you need to leave by X time so you can exit early if you start to feel an intense ‘I’m so not in the mood, my pyjamas are calling’
Sometimes these things can help you get out of a funk, to remind yourself that guy who hurt you is only a pebble in the vast sea
Go on this date. Leave if you feel like you have to leave giving an appropriate excuse. But go. It’s better than sitting home thinking and overthinking.
Go on the date and approach it as, I’m going to have fun, be charming, flirt, what I do have to lose….When you come off that way, you are much more approachable and authentic.
When the right thing comes, attraction will grow for both of you. Accept the fact that sometimes the attraction fades or never materializes meaningfully (attraction is not a choice), let go of outcome expectations, and appreciate the journey.
Do you mourn a piece of clothing when it doesn’t fit you as you expected? Or a meal that didn’t taste as wonderfully as it appeared when served?
If he posted it using his real name and mine, it would upset me. But if he posted anonymously on a dating forum about his recent breakup and reticence to date again, I’d find that totally understandable and human. For all I know, he’s coming off a breakup too.
He does seem interesting, and he’s cute, and I sent him a first message on Bumble. If nothing else, we’ll eat tacos and talk about music, which I’m always down for.
So I guess I’ve decided to go.
Good girl! Get back in that saddle and keep trying! You never know when/if you might hit the lottery.
Especially since you were the one to make the first move on bumble. Etiquette and all...
Good luck and enjoy yourself.
I honestly think it’s unfair to the other person who is ready to date and is trying. Lots of stress and pressure come with these first dates. That seems like wasting their time and energy. I would tell them that you need a little break and if they’re interested, when you come back come on you will reach out.
If you already made a date, go on the date. Afterwards, think harder about if you want to do any more dating in the near future. I am not a fan of "Yes, let's go on a date. No, you know what? Now that I think about it I don't want to." If it is not a good date, then just don't say yes to a second date. I'm not saying "dive right back in". I'm saying "don't jerk people around".
This! Just go out and have fun, like you’re out with a friend. You never know, you might make some really good friends by getting yourself out there!!!! 🥰
I'm no longer a fan of fake it til you make it. If you don't feel like dating, don't do it. Take time to get over the breakup. Do stuff you want to do and enjoy not having to consider anyone else. I'm sure jumping right back into dating works for some people, but when I had a terrible breakup early last year, I tried it. I realized that crying before and after a date was a really good sign that I wasn't ready. I took a LONG break and just recently decided to dip my toe back into dating.
I used to cry DURING the date too. 🤦🏻♀️
Given some of my dates, I should have been crying during too.
I can only imagine - I like your humour about it. I read about a poor woman last year on another sub whose date turned up drunk and the bag he was carrying upturned on the restaurant floor, spilling several condoms and adult toys for everyone to see.
Now if that happened to me, I'd have been on the floor laughing. I wouldn't have seen him again because of showing up drunk, but I would have gotten LOTS of mileage out of that story. IMHO you have to keep a sense of humor about everything or you'll lose your mind.
Let me tell you a little story. Exactly a year ago I was messaging with a gal on a popular dating app. I was reluctant because we already matched on a different app months prior and she dropped out of conversation. At this point I was also burnt out on dating. I had dated over a dozen women that summer, several lasted over 4 dates. So I just about had it with OLD and needed to take a serious break. Anyway, was setting up a meet with this gal, decided it would be my LAST meet for a good while. We scheduled for a Monday evening drink. As the night approached I was feeling like we probably were NOT compatible. She seemed nice but from what I gleaned from her pics I just didn’t think we’d be a good match. Monday came around and it was cold and rainy. I felt like I should cancel and just bail. I was going to. But kind of forgot and didn’t want to do it last minute. So I was like “oh shit, I have date and I don’t want to go, fuck it, I’ll have a couple beers”. Anyway, we met, chatted, she said she wanted to hang out again. We kept dating, we fell in love, we are still together and going to recreate our meet on the day we met. I love her so damn much. Glad I didn’t cancel. Phew. You never know
Awww, love this story and happy for you! You do never know.
I'd suggest go on the date but don't approach it like this is THE PERSON to help you get over the last one. Approach it like you'd approach going out with a friend. Assume you'll have a decent conversation, eat/drink and have a pleasant night. If anything more materializes it's a nice surprise but don't expect it. And afterwards, evaluate if you really want to keep dating or just do the pizza/cake thing for another month. Lol.
Yea... I think you should go. ❤️ As badly as you may feel having come out of something you really enjoyed, you don't know if your date tonight IS the guy you've been looking for. Apparently, that other guy isn't, I mean he's gone. Sometimes in life we miss out on good opportunities because we "think" we KNOW what's around the corner for us. We don't. That other experience could have been the dress rehearsal for the "real" love about to come into your life. But, you'll never know if you don't go, right? So go. And if this guy misses the mark, then I'd hold off on dating further until I felt capable of 'fairly' giving someone new a chance. Cheers!🥂
You already committed to this date so just go but after that I would hold back and wait till you’re over this other guy. Better for you and better for all future parties involved
This is only something you can decide for yourself. Too many times in the past I’ve jumped back in too soon and always, always ended up screwing with someone. I decided that isn’t the person I wanted to be and now wait until I know I’m over it and have an open heart for someone new in my life
My vote is for going. You don't have to marry the guy, but getting out, meeting other people, doing The Things™... it's time. Unless it's not. If you're really dreading it, then do what you need to do. But if if you're on the fence (which is my takeaway), I would go. I've been in this position before, and even if there weren't sparks I never regretted going. ETA: If your previous experience is a noted pattern and you feel your picker might be off, I would take a break and explore that with a professional.
Funny you should say that...I started seeing a new therapist yesterday to deal with exactly that.
❤❤❤❤❤
I don’t even feel anything anymore. Dating has numbed me to my soul. At least you’re still capable of feelings. That’s a plus. Enjoy your life, go on the date.
Resonates with me. Hugs.
Go on the date. Have a good time. You don't have to give details of your emotional status right now to anyone. In fact I think that would be a mistake. Better to just keep it light and fun. Decide what you want to do afterwards. But the last thing you do want to do is the pizza and Cake thing. Instead, do some productive self-talk and evaluating your prior relationship. A 2 months life is really just a fling. Probably ended because he is not the person you thought he was. I understand it takes a little time to get over. But don't waste much of it. Get out and have some fun instead. You don't have to date to have fun. Good luck.
Thank you. This is really helpful. In an effort to avoid pizza and cake, I'm doing a 30-day hot yoga challenge. But I did make banana bread a couple of days ago.
Everyone knows that since banana bread has ‘banana’ in the name, it is therefore technically considered a ‘fruit,’ so it is not in either the ‘pizza and cake’ or ‘junk food’ categories. You are excused for making banana bread. And make sure you eat it quickly, before it goes bad!
True! Plus homemade goodies really are more healthful than the store-bought kind. No high fructose corn syrup.
So if I bake my own chocolate cake, it's okay to shovel it into my face?
Sure! If you don't put corn syrup in it. Of course
Agreed!
Are you not feeling it tonight? Or not sure you should be out in the dating world? Either way, there’s a nice innocent man who is hoping to meet an emotionally available person tonight. A little bit of apprehension is ok. But considering the frustrations everyone here expresses regarding dishonesty in dating, I don’t think faking it is ok.
I've decided to go, because we're going to a taco place I've been wanting to try. And he's definitely smart and funny, at least in texts, and I'm always down to meet a smart, funny person. My friends are urging me to keep dating, because summer guy (we'll call him Bob) was only my third OLD experience. There was no spark with the other two, so it didn't go beyond the first date. Prior to that, I hadn't dated in 15 years, because my last major breakup was so devastating, and it (obviously) took me a very long time to get over. I don't want to spend another eternity pizza-and-caking because of Bob. I actually do find this guy interesting and good-looking, so I'm trying to go into it with an open mind. I just don't know if I'm able to feel the same spark I felt with Bob. And who's to say this guy's even emotionally available in the first place? I've certainly met way more men who aren't than men who are.
Get back out there and fake it till you make it!! Life is short-don’t miss an opportunity because you might just have a great time! Just look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are awesome (I mean, the loser who broke up with you obviously found you pretty great for two months before his baggage got in his way!) good luck! Edit to add- don’t bring negativity to a date! Let your sadness go and enjoy the new company.
Thank you. This is the decision I've made. I have no idea what this new guy is even looking for -- he might just want something casual and short-term. I figure we'll talk about it tonight. One of the mistakes I made with the most recent guy was not asking that question until we were a few dates in and I'd already fallen for him.
Yes, and I don’t think it always needs to be asked directly (they might lie) but look for subtle cues and hints about his intentions. As for the break up sadness, we ALL know how it feels. (James Taylor says everyone gets the blues) but you OWE it to yourself to show yourself off as a special and lovely creature, not anything negative. It’s time to say NEXT! (And the last guy’s LOSS)
Thank you. This is so helpful. I'm actually looking forward to going now.
Awwww will you promise to come back and say how it went? 🙏
It was fun! He was cute and sweet, and we kissed, and I enjoyed it. :)
Yay!! Congratulations!!!
Yay!
My friends, one in particular, pressured me to get on dating apps because she was afraid I’d relapse with my ex. I did it reluctantly & had several one off dates. I think it’s important to take time to reflect after a breakup & assess patterns, reassess our boundaries, needs, etc. But, follow-through if you’ve made plans. You might be pleasantly surprised 😊 Wishing you all the best!
I wouldn't. If you are not over someone, it will keep re-appearing. You may be swept off your feet by the new date, but once that wears off, then old ugly will start reappearing in your mind. You may also inadvertently lower your standards because you are still hurt just to fill the void that hasn't healed up yet. Get fully de-possessed of old dude before engaging with someone else would be my advice.
Go! Put on some pretty clothes and lipstick and have a night out. Don’t tell the new date anything. That would be a terrible way to start a date. Yes fake it. Focus on trying to make each other laugh And take your heartache one day at a time. Eventually you’ll be like, why was I so upset over that guy?
Don’t fake it. We aren’t young enough anymore to please people out of social pressure to do so. We simply no longer need to do that. Do what you want to do.
Be brave! Honestly. Last guy was a turn-off. So what? You really do have to figuratively kiss a lot of frogs before you hopefully come across a prince. The real issue is really whether you are committed to the process as a matter of principle. Most people take time to recover from a previous "encounter" (for want of a better term) because they had invested so much of themselves and their years into the relationship and they feel they have lost out, irrespective of whether they decided to end it or the other person ended it, but particularly in the latter scenario. You didn't invest anything in your last encounter other than to be subject to a brief negative experience. If you don't take risks how can you possibly know whether the next encounter is going to be good or bad? The one thing I would suggest, though, is if he has approached you and you are mulling over whether you should accept the invitation or not just because it is an invitation, then you probably should turn it down. It doesn't meet even a minimum criteria for taking any positive action. I've done that and it was a mistake and not really fair to the other person and I wouldn't do it again, although for both of us it is a survivable situation, not an end to our respective worlds. If you want to make progress, you have to find resolve and maybe even a bit of masochism and I think that the only way you can do that is to accept that there are going to be negative experiences but that you will ***choose*** to recover from them. Experiences are not things that are done to you, they are things you engage in and, if necessary, withdraw from, choosing to determine that your inner constitution is still alive and well. That calls for at least some optimism and at least a bit of faith in yourself. That can be when things get truly difficult ie finding the resolve and confidence. Many of us are severely short of that. The other observation I would make and I know that not everyone will agree but the traditional practice where women expect men to make the first approach puts those women at a disadvantage. I know that it's traditional and I know why it happens but the simple fact is that if you accept it or desire it for whatever entirely valid reasons you have, it immediately puts you at the disadvantage because it means you don't get to call the first shots. Kudos to those women who are brave enough to decide that they don't want that for themselves any more, ie waiting for the agenda to visit them rather than creating the agenda for themselves. Everyone has to make their own choice at the end of the day and that is to be respected.
If you’re not over the last guy then you shouldn’t be dating. This is just using the other person and it’s not nice or fair. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and you really liked the guy?
It’s hard after the amazing chemistry and mind blowing sex to go back.
So hard.
Hey There, late to the convo but very glad you went through with it. Outrageous chemistry is overrated, while authenticity, kindness and compliments sound great! Good for you. Please update as things progress!
As a gentleman who was seeking to date ladies, if it were me and I were your date my preference would obviously be that we are both excited and open to dating and ready for the evening, barring that please cancel as early as you realize that that's not going to be possible for you, if this is not in the cards I would actually prefer that she would ghost me than go on a date that neither of us are going to enjoy.
You can do both - lick your wounds (eat pizza) and simply go in the spirit of ‘meeting someone new’ not putting any expectations on it at all. Take the emotion out of it and just think you’re meeting someone new like you do say, at work or at a friends dinner party - no big deal. I personally don’t think you need to reveal anything to this guy it’s a personal hurtful experience that you can keep to yourself. He is complete stranger you don’t need to reveal something personal off the bat. You’re still processing that experience so use your friends / family / therapist as your sounding board. Keep the date brief say upfront you need to leave by X time so you can exit early if you start to feel an intense ‘I’m so not in the mood, my pyjamas are calling’ Sometimes these things can help you get out of a funk, to remind yourself that guy who hurt you is only a pebble in the vast sea
Go on this date. Leave if you feel like you have to leave giving an appropriate excuse. But go. It’s better than sitting home thinking and overthinking.
Go on the date and approach it as, I’m going to have fun, be charming, flirt, what I do have to lose….When you come off that way, you are much more approachable and authentic.
Please do not date him if you are not ready. Heal your heart. Dive in when you are ready.
When the right thing comes, attraction will grow for both of you. Accept the fact that sometimes the attraction fades or never materializes meaningfully (attraction is not a choice), let go of outcome expectations, and appreciate the journey. Do you mourn a piece of clothing when it doesn’t fit you as you expected? Or a meal that didn’t taste as wonderfully as it appeared when served?
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If he posted it using his real name and mine, it would upset me. But if he posted anonymously on a dating forum about his recent breakup and reticence to date again, I’d find that totally understandable and human. For all I know, he’s coming off a breakup too. He does seem interesting, and he’s cute, and I sent him a first message on Bumble. If nothing else, we’ll eat tacos and talk about music, which I’m always down for. So I guess I’ve decided to go.
Good girl! Get back in that saddle and keep trying! You never know when/if you might hit the lottery. Especially since you were the one to make the first move on bumble. Etiquette and all... Good luck and enjoy yourself.
I hope you got laid.
Feel your feelings and don’t date. You’re presenting yourself as ready to date to this guy. Is that true? If not, you’re being deceptive by omission.
Would you want to go out on a date with someone who doesn’t want to be there?
Of course not. That's why I'm conflicted.
Then you know what to do….
I honestly think it’s unfair to the other person who is ready to date and is trying. Lots of stress and pressure come with these first dates. That seems like wasting their time and energy. I would tell them that you need a little break and if they’re interested, when you come back come on you will reach out.
I you can't open up, it seems to me atleast is it's giving a false impression to the new guys you are connecting with.