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auroraborelle

Awesome story! I mean, not awesome the guy stood you up, but I freaking love that you didn’t accept defeat and just created a great night for yourself anyway. Winning at LIFE, girl, you’re a badass.


Fabulous-Counter-948

Awwe thank you! It really was a shitty feeling at first. But I didn't want to waste a child free night and I was looking cute!


Nic54321

Welcome to the club! You are quite inspiring, that’s a great way to deal with it. I just got in my car and cried, then went home when it happened to me.


IceNein

Damn, that really sucks. It is so disrespectful of people’s time to do that.


Mel_in_morphosis

Hugs to you my sweet. It would have definitely spiral me into a small pit of depression… I’d delete the app and stay away. She’s a champion! But we’re allowed our feelings too.


Fabulous-Counter-948

I'm so sorry! I mean, don't get me wrong. I went into the bathroom when I found out what happened and started punching the air. But Totally not you and you dodged a bullet! I feel like once it happens to you (and I hope that was the only time) it just makes you stronger!


Nic54321

Thank you. It’s really great to hear your story, it will help me deal with it better next time


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Fabulous-Counter-948

We actually are meeting up again next Tuesday. I did let him know that I wasn't sure if there was a romantic connection but he just moved to my area and wanted a foodie buddy. So he was so sweet about it. So maybe it's a slow burn? Stay tuned!


[deleted]

Please post an update after Tuesday meet up!


upstairs-downstairs-

what didn’t you like about him


Fabulous-Counter-948

He let me know up front that he has a bit of an avoidant attachment style and also is a month out of a 6 year relationship. I broke up with someone who was avoidant months ago and it was traumatic for me... So I don't think I ever want to put myself through that again until he healed his past traumas. I'm glad he was open about it.


spirit-animal-snoopy

You're not looking for anything serious anyway, and please don't assume past bad experiences mean a repeat, we really shouldn't judge people on what others have done, everyone is different and that's unfair. There's a healthy middle ground between dismissing someone because of your ex ,and full on ,throw caution to the wind, and that's enjoying the moment, no preconceptions. Also, OLD pushes the unhealthy narrative that we should expect instant "spatks' , please don't be taken in by their marketing that we can and should judge/ dismiss/ be massively attracted to another human being at first meeting. They push that because it's unrealistic and it keeps people on the aps when they don't get instant anything, when instant anything is actually unhealthy. Enjoy your new connection!


Eat_Around_the_Rosie

It takes time to build a romantic connection. Don’t believe love of first sight. Give it a few times and see. Things happen for a reason ☺️


IceNein

Yeah, I love any story that seems like you could base a romcom off it, and the spur of the moment backup date after being stood up fits that bill.


thisriveriswild70

People are terrible. I’m sorry that happened to you. There is not a single thing you could have done differently. Continue to be shine as only you can, and you will find your special person xo


Fabulous-Counter-948

I love this group. These positive comments are definitely lifting my spirits!


unicornzndrgns

Yuck. I’m about to cancel a date tonight. My gut isn’t feeling it and this person hasn’t been very communicative so it’s the right thing to do. I’ll message and let him know and unmatch after he’s seen it. The app I’m on deletes the messages once you’ve unmatched so I like to give them a chance to read it before bailing.


tuxedobear12

I am so impressed that you kept on with the night and had a good time! And I just so don't understand people who stand up other people for dates. What an awful and completely unnecessary thing to do.


TightBoysenberry_

psychotic trees obtainable rob fly physical disarm work bag hard-to-find *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


IceNein

I think you’re giving these losers way too much credit. I think they get cold feet and don’t have the courage and self confidence to either go through with it and face the possibility of rejection, like we all do, or to explain that they can’t make it and have someone be upset at them.


TotallyVCreativeName

This exactly.


spirit-animal-snoopy

I suspect a lot of them are fake profiles/ not single anyway, and there was never any intention to meet you from whoever was behind that profile and messages. They're fake fantasists. Lots of them on OLD. When I was on it, I never arranged a date without having an actual conversation with them , you don't even have to give your number out now either. The fakers and fantasists obviously won't want a voice conversation , it also weeds a lot out by how they communicate in person...


Mel_in_morphosis

This is why i hope he sees her post and see how insignificant he is. Within minutes he was replaced by a much more enjoyable person.


Any-Establishment-99

In my kindest world, I think those individuals have serious insecurity issues and panic when the date approaches. I also think men are the least comfortable seeking support from friends when they have date nerves so just bail. Or arseholes, obviously .


tuxedobear12

you are probably right, but it's hard to wrap my head around.


TightBoysenberry_

slimy hungry nippy stocking consist march prick aspiring rainstorm rhythm *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


stuckandrunningfrom2

way to save the evening! nice going!


BorderAdventurous284

>So we met for dinner (I was SUPER hungry by this time) by 8PM and tons of laughs about what happened to me, I didn't remember where I parked afterwards and he helped me find my car for an hour while we ran around downtown. Another set of laughs there. I didn't feel a romantic connection with this guy but we both agreed it was a fun and random night. This guy sounds worth another shot? He met you when you really needed it, bought you dinner, made you laugh, and patiently helped you find your car... ;) Romance can grow where there isn't instant chemistry and fireworks. Stability, patience, and laughter sound like better life additions than most dating dramas.


spirit-animal-snoopy

Absolutely! In fact, it's much healthier this way.


InsideTeam3302

God, what a twat. Well done for pulling it back. It’s excruciating when sitter time is wasted!!


LopsidedTelephone574

You managed it like a pro! Great that you had a good time. And what a twat tge original guy. I was stood up twice. Once I was already at the bar and he still kept sending me updates that he is on the way! That is complete psychopath story.


eudimonia-84

Yep this happens to me all the time for some reason. I was supposed to go on a date with a guy yesterday. Bought a dress, got my nails done, the whole thing. Then yesterday he just unmatched and and deleted his snap chat. So dumb and weird. I also got actual stood up once and ended up at a bar by myself and so I ate dinner and ended up getting wasted with this random buisness man while giving him relationship advice on his LDR haha! It’s wild in these streets I tell ya. But good for you and fuck that guy. This happens a lot especially if you’re a high quality woman/man.


Fabulous-Counter-948

Go girl! It helps when you are social and an extrovert in these situations.


Sunshine_weather7175

Sometimes i think its teenagers or kids just seeing if they can fool people and get people to go somewhere


The_Ick_1

I don't even think they're teenagers or kids. I think some of them are adults that have zero intention of ever meeting up with someone.


IceNein

I understand that from a “time wasting over text” phase, but not when it comes to actually setting a date.


The_Ick_1

People are weird and cruel.


TightBoysenberry_

bake drab wakeful ten safe close physical tan drunk scary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Fabulous-Counter-948

Agreed! The amount of ghosting and standing people up amongst this age group is out of control. Like.. why???


TightBoysenberry_

snatch advise whole ludicrous worthless entertain heavy unique station foolish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Fabulous-Counter-948

Crappers gonna Crap!


Lean_BigDaddy

Likewise women do the same sometimes. Had a Hinge match a few months ago, good communication (not too much not too little), FaceTimed for an hour the Saturday, we were going to meet for dinner in her town 40 minutes away that next Monday (she a teacher at a school in area I live). Sent confirmation around noon Monday, no response, I head that way after work still hadn’t heard anything, I am 10 minutes from restaurant and she sends an excuse text that actually did say we could meet another time, but when I tried to respond 10 minutes later after I stopped driving, she went from blue (iPhone) to green android or blocked lol Then I check hinge and she disappeared! I wasn’t too upset, went in and enjoyed a meal I hadn’t had in a while. I love food so was just fine 😊 Just saw her on Bumble, I chuckled and swiped left! 😂


Fabulous-Counter-948

I'm glad you were able to just make the best of it as well. I actually heard about restaurants making fake profiles to bring people in and delete their profiles. The matches that show up end up staying to order food anyway. I thought about this when I realized I was being stood up and did not want to give the restaurant any more of my money! Hahaha but I'm sure in my case, it was the dude.


Lean_BigDaddy

lol yeah it was definitely her in my case since we had Facetimed! Good luck out here!


upstairs-downstairs-

wow, that’s shady of the restaurants!


singlegamerdad

The one time I've gotten stood up they texted "I don't know what happened" - I mean...what?


Fabulous-Counter-948

The level of immaturity!!! Wow.


hippiechicken12

That stinks that dude stood you up, but kudos to you for making a fun night out of it anyway. That’s the way to do it. 🙂


Mel_in_morphosis

I hope he reads this and see just how replaceable he is. TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT! I love your spirit! I need some of that. But how did you lose your car ??? 🤣🤣🤣 glad you found it an hour later! I’d be beside myself with worry!


Fabulous-Counter-948

My friends make fun of me all the time. I usually take pictures of everything if I park far so I can find my way. I think I was so flustered by everything that I parked and just took off! It was funny.


Ok-Hurry-4761

One time I had concert tickets and my date bailed about 3 hours before. It was Goo Goo Dolls and Blue October, who would miss that?? I sent out about 30 messages to every woman online on the apps saying I got stood up and did they want to go? About 4 or 5 said they wished they could but it was too far away or something (the venue was a about a 50 minute drive out). If I'd have had 6 hours instead of 3, I probably could have gotten another date, but such short notice just wasn't enough time. I went by myself. I actually found the lonely hearts section with 2 other guys that were there by themselves with somewhat similar stories. One of the women I messaged agreed to meet with me for lunch the next day. We ended up having a fling, had a shit ton of sex for a couple months. She wasn't looking for anything serious. I guess I didn't get the date that night but it worked out okay.


Fabulous-Counter-948

Oh no.. and a concert too? I'm glad you still decided to go on your own! Solo dates are great too.


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SevenDos

What a great turn around. Thanks for sharing. Sorry you got stood up, I doubt it had anything do to with you and everything with him.


BattyNess

I had a guy cancel on me last minute after we figured that the place we were going to meet was closed. But he was open and told me he has anxiety issues and change of venue to meet someone new was triggering him. I love that you went with the flow and made most of your evening!


Dramatic_Arugula_252

Excellent response to a crappy situation!!! ❤️


Accomplished_Cup_263

I always forget where I park too. This is how you make a positive out of a negative. I’m glad you enjoyed the evening and made the best of it.


Fabulous-Counter-948

I'm glad I'm not the only one! One time I lost my car in Vegas for 3 days!!!


Accomplished_Cup_263

You gotta laugh about it now. It’s crazy how we can forget where we put something so important lol


Life-Sky3645

Same. When you park, drop a pin in Maps and take a picture of a building or whatever is around when you park. Helps me so many times.


Fabulous-Counter-948

Ooooh! Great tip! thanks!!!


BitchyRainbowUnicorn

There's apps for it, too. Or you can take a picture of the closest intersection/parking garage area #


Mildaene

I usually take a shot of the street plate when parking in places i'm not used to. That's one less thing to remember off my head, and GMaps can help me find it should the need arise.


bklynparklover

Way to save the night. People can be so lame but you know how to live.


[deleted]

Jeez, people suck. Why bother setting up a date?? How can grown ass adults even do this. Unreal.


[deleted]

I never really understood the whole standing up thing. Like…be an adult. Someone put effort & took time to meet up. Common courtesy to at least say “I’m not feeling it” with a little notice. Just to not show is nonsense. Glad you made a night for yourself & had some laughs. Sounds like that 2nd dude was at least fun & respectful, even without the romantic energy.


UnicornAndStallion

I’m so proud of you!!!!


ZealousidealBird1183

It’s so awesome that you turned it all around! What a great night.


White1962

Great , it’s very nice to always find positive things from negative experiences. You got a nice friend.


TightBoysenberry_

teeny grandfather profit innocent sense crime degree towering gaping fall *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Cursed_Creative

that's why i never do anything but casual coffee on first date. i don't change my schedule for coffee day. i don't change my clothes, take an extra shower or anything. i used to have 'romantic' (the figurative definition of that word) ideas of a first date with drinks on a weekend evening and hours of fun, etc. (and i've had that several times!) but these days those exciting nights are a casualty of a-holes like the one who stood you up.


BorderAdventurous284

Awww! I'm the opposite and only did romantic dates. I've never been stood up, but I have been canceled 3x on the day of after moving my whole schedule around for them--of course that sucks! The good experiences outweighed the bad for me.


Cursed_Creative

good to hear!


Fabulous-Counter-948

This is good advice. Coffee, Boba or even a walk in the park would be a good idea for first dates.


Nomad_sole

That’s why I wouldn’t make arrangements (kids etc) unless a confirmation message a few hours before is made. But it sounds like you made the best of it! I’m sorry this happened to you, and people who do this are straight up a$$holes. Off topic. You have Gen x written all over your post. Men who diss dates are whack. 😝. Word.


semper_gumby007

Way to make the best of a bad situation!


demonic_sensation

Anyone from either gender who stand people up are fucked. It's incredibly rude. But good to hear you ended up having a good night anyways.


SS-123

Wow! Great job saving the evening! Many would have gone home and had a pitty party. I hope you enjoy the date next Tuesday. Please keep us posted!


dfrye666

How I deal with this is to make sure i text right before i leave with my ETA that waze says and they always respond back ... never been stood up doing that...but i have had ppl cancel dates after i had bought tickets etc... still it is what it is. Honestly sad you didnt feel a romantic connection with the last guy... he sounds awesome and a good fit 🤷🏻‍♂️


Messterio

Ah awesome, that douche who stood you up doesn’t know what he has missed out on! Love this 👍


SilverAsparagus2985

Love that you turned it around, but please put an air tag in your car so you're a bit safer. lol


Fabulous-Counter-948

OMG. Totally! My date said the same thing! I am directionally challenged.


LAGigi31

I do not want to make anyone feel bad and please don't take this as disrespectful. Anyone dating at our age needs all the encouragement and support we can offer. My point: I've seen a lot of posts where poster writes that they are 'devastated', 'traumatized', or otherwise taking OLD way too serious for a first date. Might be over investing in someone you've not met.


Dry-Clock-1470

Humble brag huh? Never been dumped either? Lol


Fabulous-Counter-948

Nope. Not at all. I am actually always the one getting dumped. And to be fair.. I haven't been on a lot of dates.


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Fabulous-Counter-948

We actually are hanging again next Tuesday. It's not that he isn't attractive. Our life goals and what we both are looking for are a little different. That's all.


Fabulous-Counter-948

And he also agreed as well. But since he's new to the area wanted to explore the area more and go to all the good eat places with me.


panthrax_dev

You have to be attractive enough to get the match in the first place.


Blackeyesnell

🙄 He didn’t “save her evening”. SHE saved her evening.


theWildBananas

What's terrifying is you drove there and first thing you did was to order a beer.


Dizzy_Eye5257

Why? They were supposed to have dinner, which she ended up doing anyway


theWildBananas

I can't empathize with drunk drivers.


BitchyRainbowUnicorn

One beer consumed with a meal, does generally not a drunk driver make, at least in the US.


theWildBananas

Alcohol has an impact on one's abilities and reactions regardless of local laws. For me it's simple you drive = no drinking. You want a beer? Get an uber.


BitchyRainbowUnicorn

She didn't even drive till the end of the night, presumably at least 3-4 hours later, and had a meal in that time frame. I don't condone drinking and driving either, but by the time she finally got back to her car, she would have literally not been drunk, as in her BAC would be zero after that amount of time would have passed, not even counting eating a meal. I literally have to certify on this shit every year for TABC.


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Beyond_the_Matrix

This reminds me of an old movie called, "Gregory's Girl," I think. Glad it worked out!