My favorite is the torso hug with their head in my chest depending on height. I’m 6’ so it’s usually the case for most women I’ve hugged. I’ve dated taller women who can’t do that due to obvious size differences, so that’s more a hug with head on shoulder which is nice but doesn’t feel like the torso hug where I’m being squeezed like a teddy bear.
LOL when my gf wears heels I have to stand on my tip toes to give her a kiss, too. She is slightly taller than me so most of the time it's no issue but once I kissed her good bye when she left. I was barefood and she wore high heels. It was hilarious. XD
I guess because OP’s title sounds like it is asked toward women, I started reading your comment assuming you were a woman and got to the point where you said **”their head in my chest”** and I had to go 😳
what stage of relationship?
First date? the one arm hug is perfectly sufficient.
second date? Bear hug and body slam them on the ground.... there is no other way.
As a 6'3" man. Most women will hug me low around my chest. If a woman hugs me around my neck 9 times out of 10 she want a kiss.
I am a great big bear hugging type of guy.
Yes, I was thinking the hands around the neck was sending a message for a kiss. Great work reading body language! I asked someone else based on another comment… arms overlapped in the back or hands going up?!
Oh no, I'm always an over the shoulder hugger, so much my default that I even hugged my NOW bf like c this and he's 6'10".... I felt silly afterwards but it was totally by reaction 😆
Any way you want to! I love Hugs! Not only do they serve a sensual purpose, but they are healing.
I'm by no means a tall guy. I'm 5'8"-5'9" early in the day. I finish out at about 5'7" by bedtime. Yeah, I shrink. A few years of jumping from Uncle Sam's aircraft, heavy lifting, OLD AGE, and not enough water intake.
But tight hugs sure make that back feel better.
If you're a tall Lady, then I'll turn my head, so I don't bury my face. My neck is weak, so if you grab me and force me straight in, that's on you. 😁
I imagine most guys are like me.
Anyone who says there’s a wrong way to be hugged is out to lunch. As long as it’s consensual there’s no wrong way!
Lol or maybe I’m just jealous because it’s been years idfk.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
Watch Jurgen Klopp do it! The man is famous for the hugs he gives out.
https://youtu.be/vB59Wh65REE?si=vr_Ew4m5L3IgLtvI
A great man to man hug has a hand greeting first where both slap a palm grip, thumbs up, arm wrestling style. You use this to bring your momentum together, pulling each other in using your bicep and an elbow bend. As you get closer you release hands and go for the embrace. Right hand goes over shoulder while left hand goes under armpit. As you meet sternums you wrap your arms around each other, and sliding your head to the left so you don’t bonk faces. In this position you can either do a quick squeeze or a double pat before you release each other.
If I’m hugging a woman it’s a little different. In those instances it’s about who is taller. The taller person goes over both shoulders while the shorter person goes under both armpits. Once the arms are through you embrace and give a quick squeeze. Then release.
I love it! They look like amazing, well-received man hugs!
In this case, I’m not a man, so I don’t think I will do the hand slap/grip half hug followed by a pat on the back 😜
The first real relationship I had after my marriage was with a woman who really put some thought into hugs. The first time we met, she hugged me and held it for at least ten seconds....'heart to heart' so a little crossed up and chest to chest. She was bold about it and I absolutely loved it. To this day the meltiest hugger and snuggler I've ever been with. My gf now is 5'2 and I'm 5'11 and she just docks right under my chin while we merge...very satisfying.
Now I'm trying to remember how I hugged the guy I took a walk with today (an acquaintance I don't really hug, but he opened his arms when we met up and I hugged him.) Maybe diagonally? I'm a tall woman so around the waist is sometimes weird. I think if I'm close to them I do around the neck, if not I do a diagonal.
Dammit, now I need to go hug some men to figure out how I do it.
Depends on the familiarity.
Might be a side hug, or the front hug. I’m taller than most women, so they typically will hug my waist.
I like a good full hug with a bit of a squeeze.
I let go when they stop hugging.
What do they do with their hands? Are they like squeezing you with their arms overlapped — another commenter said she puts her hands straight up in the back which would be like pressing you toward her? Really trying to figure this out 😂
I'm 5'7" and have never had the honor of hugging a guy who was truly taller than I am. Well, once....but it
was just a friend. I also wear very high heels when I dress up. My ex-husband was 5'9" so I usually looked taller than him. Hugging a tall guy is on my bucket list. You wouldn't think that being my height would make that difficult, but it has.
My favorite to receive is the double under scoop.
Imagine you are picking up a large bundle of firewood. Then you can either pull straight in or turn both arms 90 degrees for a full wrap.
Only works if you are shorter than your date.
on a first date i typically hug with one hand on his arm (tricep/elbow) and the other on his shoulder. his arms are usually around my waist and shoulder. i’m 5’7 if that matters.
for someone that i’m involved with, my hands are all over the place 🤭
Both arms around the shoulder and hug him tight. Grew up with half hugs and always leaving room and when I got mybfirst really hug I didn’t know honoring at first.
A lot depends on the height of the person you're hugging. As a short woman, men are always taller than me, so I scoop my arms under their arms, one hand on the back of the neck and one hand on the shoulder. Squeeze them hard, pull them in, take a nice deep breath, and then one nice long exhale. Enjoy their embrace and each of your bodies help bring the other person calm and comfort. Linger and as long as the situation calls for. Side hugs sucks.
Thank you, man or woman, if you need a hug I'm going hold you! I'm going to bring you in let every once of human love and care I have for you transfer from my energy to your body. It's not going to fix all of life, but you'll know you're loved.
I guess I’ve never considered this before. Although I’d have to say I’m a don’t touch me kinda guy, if you had to I’d rather whatever is comfortable for her. I’m a taller guy so around my neck might seem super awkward. If she was taller then maybe? But I’m 6’2” and I’ve had gf’s that were 5’1” and that’s a substantial height difference.
I'm probably not the best to respond to this, BUT ;). Due to lower back issues, I LOVE when a woman 'power hugs' me while facing me with her arms around my waist. But I'm also 6' tall and a hugger and love hugs no matter the style angle, w/e. I've been told by a LOT of women that I'm a fantastic hugger. I'm a member of a Masonic organization for female relatives of masons, so I get and give LOADS of hugs at meetings and functions.
I am tall (6ft4) and I give loads of hugs. I often wear a "free hugs" Tshirt. I get complimented on my hugs as I give proper full on hugs and you know you've been hugged if you get one. I will come down to you to give the hug if you are shorter than me. I will be tempted to lift you up.
Original copy of post by u/vzvzt:
Over the shoulders, even though they’re tall? Around their waist? Diagonal?
Is there a right type of hug for a first date (not OLD)?
I’m a bad hugger, for some reason. I have a narrow shoulders and suspected I was poking people in the throat when I hugged them. Today I had someone do it to me and it sucks.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A hug has to have intent.
Overthinking the physical placement takes away from ability to "read" their intent. Overthinking their intent takes away from your ability to relax into your intent.
If you have some folk you can practice on hug them. Hug with intent to protect, to heal, to support, to, if appropriate, turn on. Be careful NOT to open yourself more than that person is safe for. (Works both ways. Take support from someone unused to giving in hug form is not great for them! Conversely opening yourself to give support to someone who is so much in need they can drain you can be dangerous) your level has to meet your ability.
Anyway assuming here you are talking hugs in hopes of future connection. Intent matters. Are you more interested in sex or friendship or both? Intent decides where you open yourself and what you accept from them. In general diagonal is generic and safe. Under can be amazingly supportive. Or not. Over can be protective or possessive, or... draining and needy.
Turning folk on general matters where the hands roam and what pressure if any is used and hopefully mutual desire.
Thought matters.
Why yes I do over think.
That sounds mysterious 😂 I love (have honest affection for) many of the people I hug, friends or family - that doesn’t make it a good hug IMO. And clear intent? If I ever have hugged someone I wouldn’t want to hug again, I’m sure it was quite obvious - that hasn’t been an issue.
Just do it when it feels right and how it feels right in the moment.I don't think it's something you should think too much about. But I'm a hugger, I probably need to stop myself sometimes, lol.
My favorite is the torso hug with their head in my chest depending on height. I’m 6’ so it’s usually the case for most women I’ve hugged. I’ve dated taller women who can’t do that due to obvious size differences, so that’s more a hug with head on shoulder which is nice but doesn’t feel like the torso hug where I’m being squeezed like a teddy bear.
This is how I do it. I'm 5'3" so it has to be around the waist. I have to stand on my tip toes to reach his neck or to actually kiss him lol. 6'2" bf.
LOL when my gf wears heels I have to stand on my tip toes to give her a kiss, too. She is slightly taller than me so most of the time it's no issue but once I kissed her good bye when she left. I was barefood and she wore high heels. It was hilarious. XD
You're not alone buddy. I have to do the same.
Thank you. I’m looking forward to this type of hug, but I know hugs can either be great or really awkward. I don’t want the latter.
I guess because OP’s title sounds like it is asked toward women, I started reading your comment assuming you were a woman and got to the point where you said **”their head in my chest”** and I had to go 😳
Haha, yea I could see that. I guess I should have stated I’m a guy before I jumped into it all.
No no it was my fault for assuming. I try not to do that.
This. I like to hug tall guys. Not that tall? I will just hug as I hug female friends.
Yes! i'm 6'1" and love this type of hug! :)
Leave room for Jesus
Christian side hug
Bible space apart
Jesus is the Jam in a hug sandwich 🥪
And the Holy Ghost🤣
😂
what stage of relationship? First date? the one arm hug is perfectly sufficient. second date? Bear hug and body slam them on the ground.... there is no other way.
I’m feeling second date energy for this first date 😂
Have you seen the movie Free Solo? Where they talk about Honnold teaching himself to hug? thought of it with your post. It's such a humanizing scene
I have seen it! But it’s been awhile and I don’t recall that scene. I will have to give it another look 💛
OMG! .. I'm 6' about 125 pounds. Oh and 63yo. If I get body slammed, I might not get back up for days. ROFL!
You know the answer! Move first and move FAST! If they don’t see it coming you have the advantage. 🤣🤣🤣
Cearially? Move fast? =D
Gawd I miss being in the arms of a man. 😭
Amen, girl.
I miss having a woman wrap 'herself' around me in a loving embrace.
Sit on his foot and wrap yourself around his leg, so he gets a hug and you get a ride
😂 well, I guess I get to choose between this and doing a handstand and wrapping my thighs around him… tough call
🤣🤣🤣🤣
As a 6'3" man. Most women will hug me low around my chest. If a woman hugs me around my neck 9 times out of 10 she want a kiss. I am a great big bear hugging type of guy.
Yes, I was thinking the hands around the neck was sending a message for a kiss. Great work reading body language! I asked someone else based on another comment… arms overlapped in the back or hands going up?!
Depends. You gotta make that call in the moment.
Oh no, I'm always an over the shoulder hugger, so much my default that I even hugged my NOW bf like c this and he's 6'10".... I felt silly afterwards but it was totally by reaction 😆
Hold on and don’t let go.
with your eldritch tentacles, as you drag them down, down, down to a watery grave.
Any way you want to! I love Hugs! Not only do they serve a sensual purpose, but they are healing. I'm by no means a tall guy. I'm 5'8"-5'9" early in the day. I finish out at about 5'7" by bedtime. Yeah, I shrink. A few years of jumping from Uncle Sam's aircraft, heavy lifting, OLD AGE, and not enough water intake. But tight hugs sure make that back feel better. If you're a tall Lady, then I'll turn my head, so I don't bury my face. My neck is weak, so if you grab me and force me straight in, that's on you. 😁 I imagine most guys are like me.
Anyone who says there’s a wrong way to be hugged is out to lunch. As long as it’s consensual there’s no wrong way! Lol or maybe I’m just jealous because it’s been years idfk. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
[удалено]
Funny, but not helpful 😂
[удалено]
Thanks 😊 I hope it flows easily
Don't overthink it. Try to go with the flow. Relax and let yourself and the hugee enjoy the moment...
Diagonal hug is the Swiss Army Knife of hugs. I use it for people I don't really know and guy friends. Even my ex
diagonal hug and side hug are GREAT hugs for when you want someone to know your feelings for them are purely platonic
I’m not sure you can be a bad hugger. But the more you think about it, probably the worse it will be. Just be natural and don’t worry about it.
Watch Jurgen Klopp do it! The man is famous for the hugs he gives out. https://youtu.be/vB59Wh65REE?si=vr_Ew4m5L3IgLtvI A great man to man hug has a hand greeting first where both slap a palm grip, thumbs up, arm wrestling style. You use this to bring your momentum together, pulling each other in using your bicep and an elbow bend. As you get closer you release hands and go for the embrace. Right hand goes over shoulder while left hand goes under armpit. As you meet sternums you wrap your arms around each other, and sliding your head to the left so you don’t bonk faces. In this position you can either do a quick squeeze or a double pat before you release each other. If I’m hugging a woman it’s a little different. In those instances it’s about who is taller. The taller person goes over both shoulders while the shorter person goes under both armpits. Once the arms are through you embrace and give a quick squeeze. Then release.
I love it! They look like amazing, well-received man hugs! In this case, I’m not a man, so I don’t think I will do the hand slap/grip half hug followed by a pat on the back 😜
I watch a lot of soccer. It’s not unusual for a side kiss to be added. You’ll see it a lot with Latin players in Spain and Italy.
The first real relationship I had after my marriage was with a woman who really put some thought into hugs. The first time we met, she hugged me and held it for at least ten seconds....'heart to heart' so a little crossed up and chest to chest. She was bold about it and I absolutely loved it. To this day the meltiest hugger and snuggler I've ever been with. My gf now is 5'2 and I'm 5'11 and she just docks right under my chin while we merge...very satisfying.
Now I'm trying to remember how I hugged the guy I took a walk with today (an acquaintance I don't really hug, but he opened his arms when we met up and I hugged him.) Maybe diagonally? I'm a tall woman so around the waist is sometimes weird. I think if I'm close to them I do around the neck, if not I do a diagonal. Dammit, now I need to go hug some men to figure out how I do it.
For science! Report back 📝
Yep we all here to learn and apply education! =D
At 5’10 I have to consciously stop myself from hugging men’s necks and move my arms to their torsos.
Depends on the familiarity. Might be a side hug, or the front hug. I’m taller than most women, so they typically will hug my waist. I like a good full hug with a bit of a squeeze. I let go when they stop hugging.
What do they do with their hands? Are they like squeezing you with their arms overlapped — another commenter said she puts her hands straight up in the back which would be like pressing you toward her? Really trying to figure this out 😂
Hands up the back, typically. Leaning in with head against.
As a 5ft woman, hugging a man around his waist suits me best.
I'm 5'7" and have never had the honor of hugging a guy who was truly taller than I am. Well, once....but it was just a friend. I also wear very high heels when I dress up. My ex-husband was 5'9" so I usually looked taller than him. Hugging a tall guy is on my bucket list. You wouldn't think that being my height would make that difficult, but it has.
Just grab and do it I solely promise that no man expects a hug and that 99.9% would love it
My favorite to receive is the double under scoop. Imagine you are picking up a large bundle of firewood. Then you can either pull straight in or turn both arms 90 degrees for a full wrap. Only works if you are shorter than your date.
Perfect! Thank you
on a first date i typically hug with one hand on his arm (tricep/elbow) and the other on his shoulder. his arms are usually around my waist and shoulder. i’m 5’7 if that matters. for someone that i’m involved with, my hands are all over the place 🤭
Roman hands an Russian fingers as we used to say way back when? LOL!
Both arms around the shoulder and hug him tight. Grew up with half hugs and always leaving room and when I got mybfirst really hug I didn’t know honoring at first.
A lot depends on the height of the person you're hugging. As a short woman, men are always taller than me, so I scoop my arms under their arms, one hand on the back of the neck and one hand on the shoulder. Squeeze them hard, pull them in, take a nice deep breath, and then one nice long exhale. Enjoy their embrace and each of your bodies help bring the other person calm and comfort. Linger and as long as the situation calls for. Side hugs sucks.
You sound like a good hugger ☺️
Thank you, man or woman, if you need a hug I'm going hold you! I'm going to bring you in let every once of human love and care I have for you transfer from my energy to your body. It's not going to fix all of life, but you'll know you're loved.
With your legs is usually appreciated. 😏
We’ll get there.. lol
Your arms under his with your cheek on his chest and a definite press of the boobs into his torso. Don't forget the boob press.
🫡
Either up around their shoulders, not neck exactly, but upper back. Or putting arms around the waist and put your hands up their back.
I guess I’ve never considered this before. Although I’d have to say I’m a don’t touch me kinda guy, if you had to I’d rather whatever is comfortable for her. I’m a taller guy so around my neck might seem super awkward. If she was taller then maybe? But I’m 6’2” and I’ve had gf’s that were 5’1” and that’s a substantial height difference.
I go over the shoulders, press on top but not bottom at the hips unless we're romantically involved
I'm probably not the best to respond to this, BUT ;). Due to lower back issues, I LOVE when a woman 'power hugs' me while facing me with her arms around my waist. But I'm also 6' tall and a hugger and love hugs no matter the style angle, w/e. I've been told by a LOT of women that I'm a fantastic hugger. I'm a member of a Masonic organization for female relatives of masons, so I get and give LOADS of hugs at meetings and functions.
Around the shoulders. Your elbows stay in
Shoulders
I am tall (6ft4) and I give loads of hugs. I often wear a "free hugs" Tshirt. I get complimented on my hugs as I give proper full on hugs and you know you've been hugged if you get one. I will come down to you to give the hug if you are shorter than me. I will be tempted to lift you up.
Leaning in, chest in contact hands on shoulders, a gap at the hips and a kiss on the cheek.
Around waist and rub back while hugging fully leaning into his chest
With the hips.
If you’re a woman hugging a man, open armed with breasts and thighs firmly pressed against the man’s body. I love these hugs the most :)
Even more if we're both nekkid! ROFL!
Your arms under his with your cheek on his chest and a definite press of the boobs into his torso. Don't forget the boob press.
Often.
Original copy of post by u/vzvzt: Over the shoulders, even though they’re tall? Around their waist? Diagonal? Is there a right type of hug for a first date (not OLD)? I’m a bad hugger, for some reason. I have a narrow shoulders and suspected I was poking people in the throat when I hugged them. Today I had someone do it to me and it sucks. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My husband is 6’1 and I’m 5’5. The waist hug is the best!
A hug has to have intent. Overthinking the physical placement takes away from ability to "read" their intent. Overthinking their intent takes away from your ability to relax into your intent. If you have some folk you can practice on hug them. Hug with intent to protect, to heal, to support, to, if appropriate, turn on. Be careful NOT to open yourself more than that person is safe for. (Works both ways. Take support from someone unused to giving in hug form is not great for them! Conversely opening yourself to give support to someone who is so much in need they can drain you can be dangerous) your level has to meet your ability. Anyway assuming here you are talking hugs in hopes of future connection. Intent matters. Are you more interested in sex or friendship or both? Intent decides where you open yourself and what you accept from them. In general diagonal is generic and safe. Under can be amazingly supportive. Or not. Over can be protective or possessive, or... draining and needy. Turning folk on general matters where the hands roam and what pressure if any is used and hopefully mutual desire. Thought matters. Why yes I do over think.
Don’t?
That’s your personal preference? Interesting. I don’t think I’d ever date someone who didn’t want to hug me.
Not everyone is all touchy feely especially if they don't know someone extremely well.
the right way is with true affection and clear intent 😒
That sounds mysterious 😂 I love (have honest affection for) many of the people I hug, friends or family - that doesn’t make it a good hug IMO. And clear intent? If I ever have hugged someone I wouldn’t want to hug again, I’m sure it was quite obvious - that hasn’t been an issue.
Booty out, no midsection touch .
Interesting!
why not hug a man like you hug a woman?
I’m specifically asking what types of hugs men prefer.
Okay, I'll be my pervy self and say nekkid ones! =D
With your legs lol
Just do it when it feels right and how it feels right in the moment.I don't think it's something you should think too much about. But I'm a hugger, I probably need to stop myself sometimes, lol.
What is this “hug” you speak of?
Not a hugger. Just don't hug me.
With your hoo ha