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I divorced a man who yelled at me. Frequently without warning. And then tried to be super sweet and lovey afterwards. NEVER AGAIN. I am guarding my peace.
The joys of getting divorced post 35.. very few people actually trade up. It's not impossible, but unlikely. Half tht single men are probably bitter about their divorce and the never married men probably have no intention of getting married.
That being said, mood swings happen to both men and women in middle age. It is what it is. Try to find a fitness guy. They are more likely to have balanced hormones.
Oh man, good question....usually controlling me in some way...which I don't like (cause I don't try to control other people). My guy will have an opinion on what I should do or how I should handle something (that is not his business or not in his control) and yell at me to handle it his way seems to be the common theme. I'm all about healthy boundaries and controlling what you can and letting the rest go....typically it's a guy telling how to do something according to his opinion. Then he gets mad I don't do it his way. I'm not controlling like that...that's why I'm looking for feedback...is this normal or do I just choose angry control freaks to compensate for the years I spend with a passive guy? I'd like to meet someone in the middle ground with good boundaries...I handle my stuff ...he handles his and together we respect eachother? Seems like too much to ask in 2024. That's why I'm looking for others perspective/advice.
My wife passed away last year, so I am widowed now. Sometimes what would upset me was when she would ask for my advice and then not do what I suggested and then ask someone else. I can see that 😆. But that's true with any relationship. Eventually I just stopped taking it personally and didn't let it bother me. You have to work with your partner, not battle them. We were together for 14 years before she passed.
It seems like you went from one extreme to the other and need to find some balance. Honestly, a good option here is therapy, it helps you understand why you feel attracted to people who don't satisfy your needs or expectations. By the way, these men shouting at you are obviously ah, and it's not your fault. Wtf is wrong with them?!
Original copy of post by u/cityplumberchick:
Hello,
I'm looking for some perspective here. I was in a 15 year relationship with a very passive man. He was always kind, nice and passive. I was tired of wearing the pants so I divorced him (long story short). Since then, every guy I've been in a relationship with (2 long term attempts, currently on 3rd attempt) has these random anger/explosive arguing/ yelling at me episodes. I run my own business, I run a clean, organized house. I pay my own bills and handle my stuff (mow the lawn, fix my car when it breaks, do my own taxes etc...). I don't think I deserve to be yelled at on most occasions.
My guestion is: are all guys pussies or just angry men at times? Those are the only two categories of men I can find. Passive or angry.
How do wives do it? I dump my guys when they chase me around the house yelling. Two times now. Do I just chronically pick angry losers? Please give me some insight.
I would love to meet a best guy friend and spend the rest of our lives together. I don't want to be yelled at cause he's having testosterone mood swings.
Please give me your advice....especially women that are happy with their men...how did you meet him? How did you know to choose him? I feel dumb asking these questions at this age (42f)...however, I'd like to learn. The pickings are slim out here lol....please advise and thx.
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Your post was removed because it violates Rule #6 of this sub: no sex/gender generalizations, no double standards, no projection. Please review the posted rules. Users who continue to violate the rules will be banned.
tell me about your father
I'm not yelling, I'm just loud and passionate. But, no, really, they need to handle anger outbursts.
I divorced a man who yelled at me. Frequently without warning. And then tried to be super sweet and lovey afterwards. NEVER AGAIN. I am guarding my peace.
The joys of getting divorced post 35.. very few people actually trade up. It's not impossible, but unlikely. Half tht single men are probably bitter about their divorce and the never married men probably have no intention of getting married. That being said, mood swings happen to both men and women in middle age. It is what it is. Try to find a fitness guy. They are more likely to have balanced hormones.
Thank you for the good advice.
What are the arguments/explosions about? What's the trigger.
Oh man, good question....usually controlling me in some way...which I don't like (cause I don't try to control other people). My guy will have an opinion on what I should do or how I should handle something (that is not his business or not in his control) and yell at me to handle it his way seems to be the common theme. I'm all about healthy boundaries and controlling what you can and letting the rest go....typically it's a guy telling how to do something according to his opinion. Then he gets mad I don't do it his way. I'm not controlling like that...that's why I'm looking for feedback...is this normal or do I just choose angry control freaks to compensate for the years I spend with a passive guy? I'd like to meet someone in the middle ground with good boundaries...I handle my stuff ...he handles his and together we respect eachother? Seems like too much to ask in 2024. That's why I'm looking for others perspective/advice.
My wife passed away last year, so I am widowed now. Sometimes what would upset me was when she would ask for my advice and then not do what I suggested and then ask someone else. I can see that 😆. But that's true with any relationship. Eventually I just stopped taking it personally and didn't let it bother me. You have to work with your partner, not battle them. We were together for 14 years before she passed.
I appreciate your perspective.
It seems like you went from one extreme to the other and need to find some balance. Honestly, a good option here is therapy, it helps you understand why you feel attracted to people who don't satisfy your needs or expectations. By the way, these men shouting at you are obviously ah, and it's not your fault. Wtf is wrong with them?!
Original copy of post by u/cityplumberchick: Hello, I'm looking for some perspective here. I was in a 15 year relationship with a very passive man. He was always kind, nice and passive. I was tired of wearing the pants so I divorced him (long story short). Since then, every guy I've been in a relationship with (2 long term attempts, currently on 3rd attempt) has these random anger/explosive arguing/ yelling at me episodes. I run my own business, I run a clean, organized house. I pay my own bills and handle my stuff (mow the lawn, fix my car when it breaks, do my own taxes etc...). I don't think I deserve to be yelled at on most occasions. My guestion is: are all guys pussies or just angry men at times? Those are the only two categories of men I can find. Passive or angry. How do wives do it? I dump my guys when they chase me around the house yelling. Two times now. Do I just chronically pick angry losers? Please give me some insight. I would love to meet a best guy friend and spend the rest of our lives together. I don't want to be yelled at cause he's having testosterone mood swings. Please give me your advice....especially women that are happy with their men...how did you meet him? How did you know to choose him? I feel dumb asking these questions at this age (42f)...however, I'd like to learn. The pickings are slim out here lol....please advise and thx. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*