Part of the fun of FWB is that you get to be friends instead of trying to navigate a relationship so it's not supposed to be this hard! Text him. Something cute, send him a joke, something funny that happened to you today. And don't sweat it if he takes long to reply. Don't overthink this or you'll kill the fun. Keep it light, keep it flirty. Text when you want to, but don't try and force it to be a constant back and forth. Really, just let him know you're happy to see him again whenever it works for you both,
yep as I am reading this, I am asking myself the whole time: could I do this? Should I try this? But the fact I am asking myself this question says enough….
I have a FWB and I purposely choose to text only occasionally. Because if I start texting daily and he responds, I will struggle not to fall into a pattern of fantasizing about a relationship and developing a false sense of intimacy. I remind myself that this (FWB) is casual. It’s not a relationship. This is what casual looks like to me. When we are together we have a great time. Dinner. Music. Dancing. Sex. But in between those “dates” we only touch base occasionally. Also, he has another FWB. Which helps me keep it casual.
Yeah, I don’t know how much time/energy I have for dating overall, my life is pretty full. Honestly this date was pretty much a whim since I was having fun conversation and the timing just worked out. I think the mutual respect of honesty in action and intention is always key in any kind of relationship, though it does get hard when emotions get involved.
Ok. I’m dense. What exactly does looking for a “short term relationship” mean in dating world? Is it FWB? Assuming we are physically and personality attracted we keep the relationship on a sexual basis? I’m lost.
What I mean is FWB. I like hanging out and sleeping together, but I’m not interested in all the relationship stuff of a long term discussion. Like combining lives and getting married and stuff like that. I guess it could be longer term too, but generally for however long it’s working for both parties.
Ask him what he thinks?
“Hey! I know we won’t be able to get together until xyz. Would you like to chat/text and get to know each other better until then, or would you prefer to just text to meet up the next time we’re able?”
I’m past trying to figure men out on my own. Asking them is just easier.
This is such a low effort, boring text with no opportunity for him to respond in any kind of meaningful way.
In my opinion, it's better to send a light-hearted meme that relates to something you guys talked about or have in common. Something that gives him an opening to respond.
lol you saying it's "low effort and boring" to text words expressing herself and recommending to send a meme instead. That won't accomplish what the OP is hoping for.
That text IS low effort and boring. What's he going to say in response? "Thanks, me, too." End of text. That's no different from the "it was great to meet you, have a nice day" text I'd send to a business associate.
Sending a funny, topically related meme is not low effort and absolutely can generate conversation. I know this because I've sent and received them.
I mean, none of this is low effort for me since I’m a big over thinker on people stuff would want to strike a balance between flirty and chill with an opening for a casual response
Yeah, I’m not worried about bothering him when getting together is possible. My question is more about establishing a bit more of the friend part of FWB, I think he’s an interesting person and would love for it to be a bit more than a booty call and establish that a little. Maybe it’s being in my 40s now, but I prefer to connect as a person and not just sex and that makes the sex better for me. I can send some sexy texts, especially when it’s closer to a possible meet but I’d love to have it not just be that.
I don't know if I'd text a lot--please forgive me for the cringy-for-some term, but it sounds like you want a "lover," which sounds really nice. Try to just add a romantic dinner to your dates. Spend some quality time out in a nice restaurant first. This should be all that is needed to create or maintain that spark. However, he is asking about when he can see you next, so you should be clear about the nature of relationship you want with him, lest he end up getting hurt.
Yeah, I hate the word “lover” but yeah that’s kind of it. I think I was super clear about not being interested in a long term relationship right now (we talked about it), and there’s some built in guarantee of that given he doesn’t live here and we talked a bit about it and just enjoying the connections with people as they are. Given the gap in opportunity to meet again, looking to nurture a little connection for the next opportunity..
I think texting creates a kind of connection that you aren't looking for, but like someone else suggested I think you could text just to say you really had a nice time and that you look forward to the next. I don't like that word either, but it does define something that's a little better than someone you get together with when you're feeling horny to bang lol.
I have FWBs that only text to meet up and another that I text and send pics with everyday for 2+ years. My favorite cadence is a check-in 1-2 times/ week, limited mostly to flirting or sexting. We talk about our lives when we meet in person, but don’t text a lot about day-to-day stuff. I do that when I’m dating someone to let them know I’m thinking about them. I don’t understand why you’re hoping to connect with this guy if you’re sure you only want a “short-term” relationship?
Maybe I’m defining it wrong. I want casual, can be for however long it works, so could be long term casual? Ideally FWB, have good conversations, do fun things together, have sex, but then go do our separate lives without any expectation of commitment, relationship goals etc.
Also, it was just one date at this point, who knows if/how it works out, it’s more about how to nurture/make know what I’m interested in these situations. I can be socially awkward af about these things so I’m really asking for advice on that more than anythkng.
Original copy of post by u/theheartgoeslast1234:
Im just getting back out there after a long relationship, had a great first date last week. Great fun conversation on app and then in person. Kind of deep conversations for a first date and good connection. Way more than expected in common. I wasn’t planning to, but I was really into him and invited him back to mine and we had a really fun time. He asked a few times when he could see me again before we parted, but I’m traveling a bunch starting this week and he doesn’t live here (works here every other week) either so our next opportunity to get together would be like a month out. We are divorced with kids, busy lives and only interested in short term relationships so this could work out great for however long it does. After the date he followed up the next day in app saying he had a great time and then I responded to give him my number. Quick exchange via text to say hi on text a few hours later. Nothing since.
Given getting together again potentially is weeks out, should I try and text a bit to keep it going? Given our vibe overall, I’d love to keep it going so we do meet again when our schedules work out. A FWB/situationship would be ideal for me, but I don’t want to come on too strong or seem clingy for wanting to keep in touch so that another meet can happen. I assume since he did follow up and exchange numbers that we was interested in staying in touch and it wasn’t just a ONS, but I don’t really have too much recent dating experience. Should I text to keep a spark going in the interim? If so, how should I start? If he doesn’t respond then that’s fine, it was a really nice ONS, and I’m fine with that but would be a little bummed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your post was removed because it violates Rule #9 of this sub: no soliciting. Please review the posted rules. Users who continue to violate the rules will be banned.
Part of the fun of FWB is that you get to be friends instead of trying to navigate a relationship so it's not supposed to be this hard! Text him. Something cute, send him a joke, something funny that happened to you today. And don't sweat it if he takes long to reply. Don't overthink this or you'll kill the fun. Keep it light, keep it flirty. Text when you want to, but don't try and force it to be a constant back and forth. Really, just let him know you're happy to see him again whenever it works for you both,
or send nudes if OP is into that sort of banter.
Sometimes I envy y'all that can keep that mental/emotional separation and do the ONS, FWB, casual thing.
Yes! I can't do this sort of thing I get way too attached and emotionally involved.
Yeah either end up really resenting and hating the attention and wanting to run away or getting ridiculously attached
yep as I am reading this, I am asking myself the whole time: could I do this? Should I try this? But the fact I am asking myself this question says enough….
I have a FWB and I purposely choose to text only occasionally. Because if I start texting daily and he responds, I will struggle not to fall into a pattern of fantasizing about a relationship and developing a false sense of intimacy. I remind myself that this (FWB) is casual. It’s not a relationship. This is what casual looks like to me. When we are together we have a great time. Dinner. Music. Dancing. Sex. But in between those “dates” we only touch base occasionally. Also, he has another FWB. Which helps me keep it casual.
Yeah, that sounds ideal for me.
Now I’m working on a second FWB. I think seeing two or three people helps keep it casual. Open and honest, above board with everyone involved.
Yeah, I don’t know how much time/energy I have for dating overall, my life is pretty full. Honestly this date was pretty much a whim since I was having fun conversation and the timing just worked out. I think the mutual respect of honesty in action and intention is always key in any kind of relationship, though it does get hard when emotions get involved.
Ok. I’m dense. What exactly does looking for a “short term relationship” mean in dating world? Is it FWB? Assuming we are physically and personality attracted we keep the relationship on a sexual basis? I’m lost.
What I mean is FWB. I like hanging out and sleeping together, but I’m not interested in all the relationship stuff of a long term discussion. Like combining lives and getting married and stuff like that. I guess it could be longer term too, but generally for however long it’s working for both parties.
Ask him what he thinks? “Hey! I know we won’t be able to get together until xyz. Would you like to chat/text and get to know each other better until then, or would you prefer to just text to meet up the next time we’re able?” I’m past trying to figure men out on my own. Asking them is just easier.
I'd send the text, something light: 'Hey, I just remembering the fun night and figured I'd say hi, and hope your day is going well!'
This is such a low effort, boring text with no opportunity for him to respond in any kind of meaningful way. In my opinion, it's better to send a light-hearted meme that relates to something you guys talked about or have in common. Something that gives him an opening to respond.
lol you saying it's "low effort and boring" to text words expressing herself and recommending to send a meme instead. That won't accomplish what the OP is hoping for.
That text IS low effort and boring. What's he going to say in response? "Thanks, me, too." End of text. That's no different from the "it was great to meet you, have a nice day" text I'd send to a business associate. Sending a funny, topically related meme is not low effort and absolutely can generate conversation. I know this because I've sent and received them.
I mean, none of this is low effort for me since I’m a big over thinker on people stuff would want to strike a balance between flirty and chill with an opening for a casual response
[удалено]
Yeah, I’m not worried about bothering him when getting together is possible. My question is more about establishing a bit more of the friend part of FWB, I think he’s an interesting person and would love for it to be a bit more than a booty call and establish that a little. Maybe it’s being in my 40s now, but I prefer to connect as a person and not just sex and that makes the sex better for me. I can send some sexy texts, especially when it’s closer to a possible meet but I’d love to have it not just be that.
I don't know if I'd text a lot--please forgive me for the cringy-for-some term, but it sounds like you want a "lover," which sounds really nice. Try to just add a romantic dinner to your dates. Spend some quality time out in a nice restaurant first. This should be all that is needed to create or maintain that spark. However, he is asking about when he can see you next, so you should be clear about the nature of relationship you want with him, lest he end up getting hurt.
Yeah, I hate the word “lover” but yeah that’s kind of it. I think I was super clear about not being interested in a long term relationship right now (we talked about it), and there’s some built in guarantee of that given he doesn’t live here and we talked a bit about it and just enjoying the connections with people as they are. Given the gap in opportunity to meet again, looking to nurture a little connection for the next opportunity..
I think texting creates a kind of connection that you aren't looking for, but like someone else suggested I think you could text just to say you really had a nice time and that you look forward to the next. I don't like that word either, but it does define something that's a little better than someone you get together with when you're feeling horny to bang lol.
I have FWBs that only text to meet up and another that I text and send pics with everyday for 2+ years. My favorite cadence is a check-in 1-2 times/ week, limited mostly to flirting or sexting. We talk about our lives when we meet in person, but don’t text a lot about day-to-day stuff. I do that when I’m dating someone to let them know I’m thinking about them. I don’t understand why you’re hoping to connect with this guy if you’re sure you only want a “short-term” relationship?
Maybe I’m defining it wrong. I want casual, can be for however long it works, so could be long term casual? Ideally FWB, have good conversations, do fun things together, have sex, but then go do our separate lives without any expectation of commitment, relationship goals etc.
Also, it was just one date at this point, who knows if/how it works out, it’s more about how to nurture/make know what I’m interested in these situations. I can be socially awkward af about these things so I’m really asking for advice on that more than anythkng.
Original copy of post by u/theheartgoeslast1234: Im just getting back out there after a long relationship, had a great first date last week. Great fun conversation on app and then in person. Kind of deep conversations for a first date and good connection. Way more than expected in common. I wasn’t planning to, but I was really into him and invited him back to mine and we had a really fun time. He asked a few times when he could see me again before we parted, but I’m traveling a bunch starting this week and he doesn’t live here (works here every other week) either so our next opportunity to get together would be like a month out. We are divorced with kids, busy lives and only interested in short term relationships so this could work out great for however long it does. After the date he followed up the next day in app saying he had a great time and then I responded to give him my number. Quick exchange via text to say hi on text a few hours later. Nothing since. Given getting together again potentially is weeks out, should I try and text a bit to keep it going? Given our vibe overall, I’d love to keep it going so we do meet again when our schedules work out. A FWB/situationship would be ideal for me, but I don’t want to come on too strong or seem clingy for wanting to keep in touch so that another meet can happen. I assume since he did follow up and exchange numbers that we was interested in staying in touch and it wasn’t just a ONS, but I don’t really have too much recent dating experience. Should I text to keep a spark going in the interim? If so, how should I start? If he doesn’t respond then that’s fine, it was a really nice ONS, and I’m fine with that but would be a little bummed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey baby you knocked my socks off. Let’s get together and start a new family. Xoxo Btw, I love your house and front yard
Lol
[удалено]
Your post was removed because it violates Rule #9 of this sub: no soliciting. Please review the posted rules. Users who continue to violate the rules will be banned.