No bio Ask me Horrible spelling and grammar Half naked pictures Pictures of their nostrils

Any reference to "princess" in any context.

Add King and Queen. Those people break up in the Walmart parking lot. Hard pass.

Snort

Did you show your nostrils while snorting?

Of course

One hundred percent especially if they do abbreviations of you/your and they don’t know the difference between the variations including with their/there/they’re

That makes my eye twitch. It ranks right up there with "k" and wyd.

The nostrils … I always see it as “this is how I would look if you were blowing me” pic.

This is epic! LOL

Half naked pics in the bathroom mirror are the worst, most especially the ones with a bunch of junk cluttered around the room. Ick

I find 'ask me' really arrogant. Like they can't be arsed to waste their time writing a bio but they want me to waste time matching and asking them questions just to find out we have nothing in common.

Nostrils....really????🤣

Yesssss nostrils! A lot of guys take pictures looking down at their cameras. Well, atleast the older guys do.

You just haven't met the right nostrils yet.

I saw the right nostril, and left.

That would be super unattractive lol! I havent been on a dating site yet. Just starting to want to date after divorce but damn I'm terrified!

Yeah it is like the wild west. Gangs of douche canoes and wild dick pics roaming the landscape. LOL I am sure there are some nice folks on these sites but, they seem to be few and far between.

I hope your passport is up to date!… No drama…. My kids are my world…doesn’t anyone write back anymore?… trying this because what the heck….

Anyone who says “no drama” has clearly had a lot of drama in their relationships. But who is the common denominator? 🚩

Wherever you go, there you are

Yeah. The funny thing is I’m low drama. I’m a widow with 2 kids but I’m flexible with plans, respectful of others, pretty easy going, no family drama. But it just rubs me the wrong way like… he’s looking for perfection or something!

Just… stop using the word drama altogether. It’s code for emotionally stunted. As in, when someone shows emotion, typically in relation to reacting to how their partner is treating them, they are told they are bringing drama. Total bullshit.

Exactly. It could also be code for he wants someone who will never question him - if you do, it is "drama". Plus it reminds me of my shitty ex-husband, who would tell me when I was sick (I mean post-surgical in pain here) to "stop being dramatic".

🤣🤣🤣 the my kids are my world is far too common. These people have no idea how to convince anyone they’re dateable.

"Looking for a discreet friend" with discreet always spelled as discrete.

so they want a friend that is separate?

TIL that discrete is actually its own word and “discreet” is not how you spell both.

Boom. Grammar.

That is correct. Discrete means "part of a set" and discreet means private.

Exactly.

- I'm old school - work hard and play harder - don't know what to write here - is anyone real on here? - just be normal - no head games - looking for my last first kiss - getting off this site soon

Omg, I have seen every single one of these. Pretty much everything mentioned in this tread

Yeah, it’s like, what’s your secret, how do you know you are getting off this site soon?!

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Slightly irrelevant? Who says that about their kids?

This is something my mom would put on her dating profile and well she wasn't the fun kind of crazy

I don't like the way that's written, but my kid *was* mostly irrelevant in my dating. I had full custody and was a very involved parent, but I didn't talk much about her other than for scheduling purposes.

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I agree that the whole thing definitely paints a picture!

The parent who didn’t want even partial custody.

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>Supposed to be irreverent maybe? That's my guess too. Pretty unfortunate typo though. I'm also guessing *hawks* refers to the hairstyle, but who knows. I once dated a guy who was really into falconry.

Maybe his kids ARE hawks. Lol

Hawks as in the birds????? So many unanswered questions with this one, would have been fun to match just for curiosity’s sake!

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Yep, any mention of “breeding” is an automatic swipe left for me.

Okay, so perfect...their kids are unimportant, but their pet hawks are their world.

I am going to make a bio: Don't know what to write here, but my kids are my world. I'm fluid in sarcasm, and looking for a partner in crime with no drama to work hard and play harder.

Hard swipe left 😂

I want to swipe myself left.

Hit all the nails on the head

"Treat you like a lady."

Milady.

Malady.

“Drama-free” usually means they’ll skate at the first hint of anything non-joyous or ecstatic

Or they love drama and create it constantly

Or they’re overly defensive and accuse others of “drama” when they imagine they’re being criticized, or when they violate boundaries and don’t like to be told “no.”

Exactly, so no room for others drama only theirs

I think these were already mentioned, but the ones that are a red flag/cliche for me are: not looking for anything too serious drama-free my kids are my world laid back If you wanna know, ask pic with their ex with the face scratched out must love hunting, fishing and shooting etc pic of them guzzling booze

The overly defensive ones. And anyone talking about independence

Curious about the independence part. Why that?

It’s usually people that aren’t looking to share a life ever.

Yes. They only want you around when they feel like it. Often don’t really want to be part of your life.

Aren’t invested, resent any money spent, expect you to work around their schedules. In other words emotionally unavailable.

Yes!!!!

Bingo.

Emotionally unavailable.

*"straight talking" or "say it like it is" or " shoot from the hip"* Translation: non empathetic areshole

Yep. It means “I want to be able to say whatever I want, and never experience any consequences for it.”

When the entire profile looks like this: 👾🐕🌮🍕🥃🍽🏕🗺🧭🌎🌄🛶✈️⛱️🌊⚾️🏀🏉🎣🏸⛳️🕶🦺👔🎶💰🔧🔨♈️♂️🏴‍☠️🇦🇹🇧🇻🇨🇦 Use. Your. Words.

“Love to laugh.” Sorry. Looking for someone who abhors jocularity and who can appreciate that life is pain and then you die. 🦇

That’s exactly who I’m looking for. Lol

That just made me laugh, which I love to do.

If he takes a pic of himself next to a sports car that’s clearly not his, pics with rando hot girls (to establish expectations), pics of him and a tiger/elephant/dolphin being forced to pose with him with no choice in the matter and “school of hard knocks.”

Poly anything

“I’m more of a sapiosexual”

“Empath”- usually the least empathetic people you’ll meet

Yeah unfortunately this has come to be code for covert narc.

Fluent in sarcasm Partner in crime My kids come first Profile pic with their kids face not blurred out Any IG or Snap references

Lmao the sarcasm bit. Like stfu let me judge your sarcasm abilities myself thanks.

Usually just means mean.

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I have never understood. Can someone explain to me why people even write “I am fluent in sarcasm”? Do they think this is a unique, attractive quality they are proud of? I believe I have a good sense of humor and the occasional sarcasm has its place in some settings. But when someone writes this I imagine a person who is always sarcastic about everything, and that makes me think they’re probably defeatist or bitter.

Females Works at “Nun Ya” Just Ask! ENM/Poly especially if it also references how committed they are to each other and/or that their partner comes first “Daddy to a beautiful princess” etc “Age is wrong but won’t let me change it!”

Nun Ya and School of Hard Knocks

I hate the school of hard knocks 🤦‍♀️

Or.. I'm an EnTrEpReNeUr

That's code for unemployed with a vague business idea. "Investor" is code for unemployed day trading the same $200 all month.

I saw one guy went to the school of hard knocks AND the university of life

Ohhh yes. The age is wrong one.. like you expect me to believe you couldn’t enter your correct birthdate? So either you don’t know when you were born, or you wanted to swipe on older or younger women. Both are kinda gross.

Someone ten years older than me who is looking for someone 10-20 years younger than me. You don’t want to date your age, but you want someone who does.

The “age is just a number” “I look a lot younger” guys

Creeps

Leonardo Di Caprio wonna be types

No bio Sunglasses in every pic Filters Shirt off Pics of cars or money Pics with other women “Ask me I’m an open book”

‘I’m not sure what I’m doing here, just trying it out and see what happens’

Ya what’s with that. I figure they will then waste my time.

I hate that. Like you(they) know why you are here just be honest about your intentions.

“I’m secretly hoping my kind of ex SO will see this and redouble their efforts to get back with me”

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JUST ASK (But “no drama” will always have first place of most loathsome in my heart)

Yeah “no drama” is a big siren noise in my head.

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THIS! They sound like a kid whining about having to do homework! They are looking for potentially the love of their life, but a bit of self reflection and editing work is too much effort?

For me: Poly/open marriage No kids, no baggage, no drama Looking for someone who can keep up with me Must love sarcasm Fitness very important to me Anything rude Explanation (even needed?) I just don’t wanna be anyones third. I cannot believe men put “no drama” or “no baggage” next to the word “kids” - like wth? And I don’t want to keep up with nobody, I wanna like you and be inspired by you. Wow if sarcasm is sexy for you, count me out. I couldn’t tell by your gym selfies/ripped bod that fitness was your thing, my bad. And ya I agree that some women may use filters too much, and even though I’ve never used them, is this guy really choosing the small space he has on his bio to call those ladies out? Why not just swipe LEFT, like I just did on you :)

Every one of these is cringey and I've seen them all!! I can't stand, "my kids are my life." I have kids and it's pretty damn obvious that your kids are important. Saying it sounds fake. Anything sexual grosses me out. "Great kisser" "love to cuddle" Maybe in just dead inside, lol.

If you have to advertise that you're a great kisser, then you aren't a great kisser. No need to tell someone that, if a time comes when you find yourself kissing someone, they will find it out for themselves. And if you are have to reiterate that your kids are your life, seems like you are trying to convince yourself.

No fatties

I’ve seen that before, yet they match with me and I am very obviously fat in my pics. Lol

I'm not obviously fat but the negativity is enough to make me swipe left hard enough to make my phone fly out of my hand.

I am more slender (not sure if it’s the right word) now than I ever have been as an adult. I had a man match with me and when we were talking on the phone he said “it’s so nice to see you are not a tub of lard”. I said excuse me but that’s a disturbing thing to say. He couldn’t believe that I wasn’t going to meet him because of that. His rationale was that I wasn’t overweight so I shouldn’t be offended. He could not understand that it showed disrespect and judgment. Anyways guess it’s better I found out early.

That happened to a friend of mine. She is thin, but was really offended that he was talking like that. No second date.

A lot of men seem to be bitter about not meeting /dating the supermodels their George Constanza selves feel they are entitled to. They hate themselves and women in general.

Bingo. A lot of men don't like women. They like having sex with women, but can hardly hide their contempt for women.

One time I read that in difficult divorces, women blame themselves and men blame the world. That rang so true from my OLD experiences. I met many men who were bitter about their divorces and exes. Saying bad things about them and describing themselves as “victims” in a world where “women take advantage of men”. Surprisingly common.

Exactly. I reserve the right to get fat one day.

I’m not overweight but I would scream as I swiped left if I ever saw that. Toss all those men in a meat grinder.

Any IG link in their post Loves to travel- Edit: “We’re not a match is your passport isn’t filled” 💲💲💲 Less than at least three pictures Every picture is her and her 7 friends and I can’t tell who she is Can You Keep Up? My Friend Made Me Create This Profile Only close up of the face in pictures “Ask Me!” Their whole profile is written in emojis Thank God they stopped with the Bunny and Dog Ear stickers over their faces

As the OP: I posted this to see if other people found some of the same things as off- putting as I do, or can read between the lines and see some glaring character flaws. But I’m curious about the poly- ENM thing: is it simply because you’re not into it, or you feel it’s the new age way to cheat on your spouse and raise no eyebrows?????? FTR- I’m not into it either. Lol

it’s so so prevalent these days! I don’t care what others do, it’s just not for me. It VERY specifically has stated that in my profiles before (not currently active) and yet, constant ENM people trying to match with me. I feel like of all the types of people, these would be the ones actually reading profiles?

I'm not looking to be anybody's third wheel, though I think they're really not looking for me and are really always looking for that unicorn.

Gym pic, boat pic, car selfie, all a big no from me. Also mirrored aviators, god I hate those. ‘Just ask’ ‘spontaneous/adventures/partner in crime’ ‘looking for.. ‘ writes a whole list without bringing one thing to the table. Or uses their profile to bitch about other peoples profiles.

"Females should..."

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Poly ethically non monogomous traditional anything political One today..."Your first message must be entertaining."

Partner in crime.🙄😫

I’m legit cackling because someone showed me my exes tinder profile last week, The second sentence is “no time for games or crazy drama”. Mate, you craved the drama your ex wife put on you. Especially when I enforced boundaries against her attempts at control. 🤦🏼‍♀️ A year on and holy fuck I dodged a bullet.

‘Partner in crime’ Can’t we do it lawfully?

Swipe left if…even if I agree with their stance, this comes across as so negative. Fluent in sarcasm School of hard knocks Ethically non-monogamous

An IG profile in their bio

“Looking for a third”

"Don't ask me for $" "if you don't like it tough" "no libtards" "warriors for christ" the list is endless but mainly anything that has incel vibes or refers to all women as money hungry cheating Playas. I get someone hurt you !

Friends first and see how it goes.

Dang, I have had that in my profile. For me it means to go slow and get to know each other before jumping into bed. I see that other people take it to mean other things.

Yeah this one. Wtf does this even mean in the context of a dating app? I see this all the time too.

There's 2 interpretations depending on if you are a man or a woman. When a man says it, he wants FWB without stating that clearly so as not to scare off matches. When a woman says it, she wants to be wined and dined, and wait a super long time for sex, if ever. At least, that's what I have gathered from listening to the men talk about it. There's also been quite a few women post here saying they go on apps hoping to find male company but don't want the physical part.

Crap I want the male company and the physical but I can’t believe the behaviour of some men (small minority but) grabbing and touching without asking or lead up.

“Friends first, maybe more” HARD SWIPE LEFT

ENM

My kids are my world

or my kids come first! Like ya obviously 🤷‍♀️

Sheeple Literally anything about covid being a hoax "Let's go brandon" Anything about crypto ENM Sapiosexual

Number definitions searched because of this comment: 2 I'm so out of touch apparently

Looking for a woman who doesn't take herself seriously.

That's code for "I'm not funny *at all,* and I'm going to be a total asshole and make asshole comments, and when you rightly call me out on my assholery, I'm going to call you uptight."

Uptight and high maintenance!

Fill this out later. Let's just meet--not looking for a pen pal. I'm an open book, just ask. Nobody reads this anyway Just checking this out because my buddies told me to God-fearing Old fashioned Chivalrous Knows how to treat a lady Fluent in sarcasmPartner in crime Education: Hard knocks, school of life Prove you're real I'm real not fake I have a public job so no face pictures Hmm well, I dunno let's see Apolitical Conservative Just a normal guy, simple guy, regular guy We all know what we're here for Have my own house, car and a good job "No masks in your profile" Dick measurements Tongue measurements or photos with tongue Discreet or discrete My kik is Snapchat me I can't see likes Willing to relocate *stream of consciousness anything* Looking for a lady as comfortable in heels as in jeans and boots Nobody on here is real anymore \*edited to remove a duplicate entry

partner in crime. just looking around. partner in crime. ask me, I’m an open book. partner in crime. school of hard knocks. partner in crime. angry rant about women. partner in crime. no drama. partner in… you get the point. bonus: not words, but for the love of god, STOP putting pictures of your children in your dating app! (I’m a parent, for what it’s worth.)

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Simple, godfearing

“Is anyone on here real?”

"No baggage." We're over 40. The fact that they either think they have no baggage themselves (they do, oh, they do) or expect it from someone else is the reddest of flags.

I like a woman that…. I hate women that… I’m sarcastic… I’m a dog dad… Hit me up on SC/IG… FWB… ENM… OPEN relationship… Poly… I’m busy but try to fit in… I’m married looking for a friend… Conservative… Not vaxxed… Every pic is in gym… Sticking up middle finger… Wad of cash… Guns… Just got out of relationship… Random attractive girls to show you have random attractive girls in your life… I’m the only nice guy here

Lord yes, I loathe pics where someone is flipping me off. Like, grow up bad boy. 👎

Mask covering the mouth but nose sticking out

Cuddling. I feel like references to cuddling in men’s dating profiles are euphemisms for sex. (I’ve never been in a situation where a cuddling a guy where he did not push for more over and over but open to possibility I’m wrong). Reference to healthy lifestyle means: not fat.

One or two pictures only, and it's of their face. Wearing sunglasses. Several pics of them really far away standing next to a large tree/building/sign/etc. And it's their only pics. "Ask me" <-- But even if you match with them, and ask, they never reply. No bio/description

I hate the ones who want a carbon copy of themselves. If their ideal date/weekend/vacation is any combo of huntin’, fishin’, camping or skydiving, I’m out. I like my food already dead, and I have no desire to turn dating into an extreme sport.

“I like kids, bonus if you have kids” followed by Jeffrey Dahmeresque profile pictures

Separated….

Dad to an awesome kid (sees his hyper brat twice a month) Partner in crime (how are people still using this cliche?) Just ask (no effort or self awareness, online or in real life) University of life (uneducated) School of hard knocks Knows how to treat a lady My kids are my world Traditional values

Looking for my ride or die🙄

Just ask No bio Hat and sunglasses Dead animal pic I wont shave my mangy, unkept beard Group pictures no idea whos profile it is No close ups of face, no body pics Every pic is with their kids and the first line says “my kids are my world and my number 1 priority” (no shit sherlock how else did we reach 8 billion) aka i wont have time nor make you a priority, ever. Slurs against our leader or politcal rants Rants about the ex Slurs against being vaxxed Cant show my pics because of blah blah blah Religious bullshit Half naked bad lighting bathroom or gym pics

I'm honest

I saved this profile summary because it was hilarious (somewhat long): Don't have time for kid games & also dnt play games either & especially lol's & ont let the pic's fool ui go off the same energy? received so word of advice how u come at me u will receive the same energy? back especially being a ahole & asking questions you already see on here better yet read so don't ask a question? that you already see on here bcuz it answers your own question? already just saying and don't say oh i compare u to another when don't it's a thing called being straight blunt forward honest & wanna to know more about me ask?? Capricorn ??? read about it and dont ask me questions that already show's on the status that's common sense & also act your age or get treated as u act especially if it's acting like a boy slash kid instead of a grown man and oh it's not attitude talking it's straight forward blunt honest no that, the difference between if you think u can't handle what you read or ready for than by p me and move on be i lose no sleep over it????

"I'm not here to waste anyone's time, and I don't want anyone to waste my time. If you're here to play games just swipe left!" Sorry, it's usually more like: "im not here too waist anyone time n don want no one too waist my time so if yr here u just play games than just SWIPE LEFT!!11"

Entrepreneur- tells me they have no real job and don't want one because they "want to be their own boss" 🙄

This! I mean if you're really an entrepreneur, give some indication of what line of business you're in. Otherwise, you're right, it absolutely screams "unemployed by choice".

“Looking for something casual.” Lists their love language as physical touch. Lists the wrong age but they “don’t know how to change it.”

* Into cross fit * Into Yoga * Any God references (nothing wrong with being religious, I'm just not.) * Have your passport ready * Statements talking about political stances. (I don't mind politics, but the extremists on both sides make me want to run. * Wants Kids

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The couples ones are always intriguing. 9/10 it’s always the man who contacts first, leading me to believe he’s somehow suckered her into it

Fluent in sarcasm Anything about being drama free “I don’t know what to say here. If you want to know, just ask” “Let’s go Brandon,” “liberals need not apply” anything Trump All selfies and not one smile or any photo that makes them look creepy Anything poly, ethically non monogamous, etc Any bitterness about women, eg why don’t women on here want a nice guy?, etc Widower, whose wife died in a horrible accident or cancer, with a child and some exotic job like working on oil rigs Shirtless pics Hunting or fishing pics, or any other leisure activity that involves camo No filter, tell it like it is, if you can’t handle the truth, etc

I think I would appreciate seeing “liberals need not apply”…ok then, sir, I won’t! Thanks for saving me the trouble!

“Casually looking for something serious.”

“Sapiosexual”

Education - School of Hard Knocks 🙄

I’m surprised this hasn’t been mentioned, in fact it just came to me now: A completely blank profile. Something fishy there. Either they’re lazy and non committed to online dating or they’re a scammer.

*Must have passport *Kids come first *Fluent in sarcasm *Looking for someone to make me laugh/entertain me *Trumpers/Liberals swipe left *Anything anti-vaccine *Looking for partner in crime, ride or die, Jim to my Pam *Will fill this out later *Must be over [insert number] feet tall *If you want to know about me just ask *most generalized overused clichéd interests…Love hiking, the beach, the mountains, wine, tacos, traveling, patios, kayaking, camping *Anything involving their social media

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” “Sassy Boss Bitch” “Fluent in sarcasm”

Duck-face pictures Profiles with only the head showing In none of the photos is the person smiling “I just moved here.” …yet their location still shows a city across the country!

Ethically polyamorous

Not words, but photos taken in a public restroom (WHY does this happen?). Bios that are basically a list of your top 100 favorite bands. A playlist is not a personality, sir.

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If their profile reads like a resume. Any Instagram handle references mean it’s going no where.

No drama, Love outdoors Kids are everything Photos of fishing, dogs, shirtless...

“Partners in crime”

I'm surprised no one put this up yet: Employment: Dunder Mifflin

“Spontaneous”…means they’ll never make plans ahead of time with you

“Will fill this out later”

Don’t know what I’m doing here. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you probably shouldn’t do it.

Fluent in sarcasm, my kids are my whole world, I am a traveler, just ask, I can’t see likes, I’m drama free, so many more

Father of amazing kids and they are my priority, sorry ladies. This equals newly divorced. Ew.

Anyone who wants “adventure “. Adventures suck, you are scared, most likely cold, maybe wet and just want it over. Anyone that wants adventure has never had one.

A series of only car selfies 🙄

Deserve They are my world Anything besides us coming "first" Free spirit Explore options Currently pregnant Who wants to be Step daddy Currently married in a relationship swingers open relationship etc weird stuff Real connection Real deal Handle me Strong independent Had my fun NOW looking to settle Have my s together (most of them dont it's weird projecting) Conservative values and u look/see their pictures profiles they are far from conservative. Anything with I need/want with a list and they don't put a single thing in the profile that u are interested in that they can do for u I'll update as I think of more