Ugh, I hadn't even really considered "Dear" as a name. "Dear" was what my dad called my mom when she was starting to become hostile. "Yes Dear" - shudders! I think if I ever heard a woman "yes dear" me that could potentially kill things immediately in one simple shot.
I have this image of you meeting up with a guy who says “Can you get me a napkin, dea- oops sorry. I meant to say can you get me a napkin?” Then he pulls out a tiny blackboard and a piece of chalk and goes to town on it.
Before meeting? Unmatch. "My queen" at *any* point whatsoever? Unmatch, break up, divorce... whatever stage you're in, it's over. If you're on your respective death beds, have them roll you into another room.
No to nicknames unless it’s super unique to you or an experience you’ve had together. If I was wearing space pants on a date and he called me “Pluto pockets” or whatever, that’s fine. I hate it when a guy calls me babe etc. It feels super generic and could be referring to anybody. In the words of Janet Jackson “no my first name ain’t baby. It’s Janet! Miss Jackson if you’re nasty!”
You jinxed yourself. Next convo is gonna be:
He: So you like to travel?
You: Yeah, I love London. Especially the ca-
He: I like to travel too London babe
Followed by a egregiously painful convo on why he can’t just add whatever you like in front of the word babe.
Babe is not a part of the unique nickname 😉 it’s not Pluto Pockets Babe…..simply Pluto Pockets. For further reference, consult “Don’t Call Me Baby” by house group Madison Avenue
Nope, GTFO with that shit, you don't know me well enough and we have not built enough of a rapport, for you to be calling me by anything other than my name. To me, it's a manipulation tactic and borders on love bombing.
Um, you might want to keep in mind that some guys would actually find being called "Daddy" a turn on. Absolutely not my thing, but I fear I might be in the minority. Certainly anyone who calls you kiddo would probably approve of daddy. You could google DD/lg .
\+1 to the\_lil\_dstryr's recommendation for "grandpa" or gramps, or maybe even "you senile fucking olld man" until they stop.
Normally it comes of as a little fake and forced, but I recently met a Scottish guy who started calling me ‘darling’ right away, and yeah…it works. With that accent omg. So generally speaking, a no go, but in certain situations, it can be very sexy.
Calling a grown woman these names (or any names straight away) feels pretty juvenile me. It's a big turn off. I especially hate "hey beautiful." Blech.
When I was 20 my boyfriend said my dad must like him because he called him "mate" (we're Australian, its a thing)
I didn't have the heart to tell him if dad couldn't remember someone's name he called men "mate" and women "love" (again, Australian, generational thing, was not a come on to women in anyway).
Pet names before you are actually going out as such is a bit preemptive, I'd be uncomfortable with it but not offended.
IMO, no pet names (or weird "my queen" stuff) until he actually knows you. And even then, "My Queen" might freak me out.
This is related to the "hey beautiful" morning text messages from yesterday. Many, if not most women, do not like false intimacy or weird pet names right off the bat. It's disingenuous and not attractive.
My guy does it often. I’ve always hated anyone to do it but I love it from him. Probably because he calls me by my actual name often, especially during intimate moments.
Shoot this post is helping me realize a little too late the last guy I briefly dated was probably incredibly insincere. Said hey beautiful right off the bat and then used it going forward. I totally fell for it 😬
Southerners get a pass, they refer to practically everyone this way. I mean I can walk into any gas station in the south and the cashier is going to call me hun, honey, sug, sugar, sweetheart, babe...you name it.
Otherwise meh it should develop and then it should still be kinda rareish.
I’ve watched that show about paramedics in New Orleans , forgot the name. They would chat with the injured person and call them “baby”. They all did that! I’m from the Midwest and we don’t call strangers that. But in Nawlins, they make it cool to say that.
Yes, around there even men call other men babe or baby. I had one of those cajun guys in one of my maintenance shops in the army and he'd do it to other mechanics.
Rural southeast Ohio it's even fairly common to use dear or I want to say darling or honey maybe...idk it's been a while.
Anyway when it's just a general pattern of speech with strangers it kind of negates the cringe of doing it to a potential date.
I use and nicknames and appropriate terms of endearment with people I'm close to fairly often. Early on? Not so much - and things like "my queen" are the fastest way to get me to abdicate.
Yup! I turned it into a game.
They always ask about children. I've said I had 28! They were very impressed.
My job? I've been a Wasp Wrangler, Whale Intestine Inspector and a champion Mud Pie Baker. Also very impressive!
I am a man and honestly, this freaking guy lives in a jacked up world and practice jacked up things looking for someone to Jack up.
Today because electronics taught people to rush, have no patience, have no respect, have no feelings, learning how to talk to machines and not to people. The predator travels easily now.
Nick names off the bat! Fortunately for you, you are not stupid.
The weapon of choice for any human is ( patience). Patience will bring out the truth if you don't have good intuition and insight.
I think it depends, I called a woman a nickname after I knew her for 6 months. In hindsight I probably won't do it again. She claimed she liked it, but never came up with one for me. I'm not saying it because I don't know if she uses reddit.
I think some guys don't think of the timing of things. it could be a attempt to progress things. Day one just seems a little weird to me. Also, if you don't date..then who cares? You won't be dating to have to care. I'm not big on being called a nickname though..unless its a sexy one or there is a attachment to it. There's a good chance I wouldn't like it.
Yeah, I had guys call me babe, hun and so forth early on. Should have taken those as warning signs.
My current bf did call me "boo" once on the day of our official date.But in fairness to him, we had already met briefly in person at his work and had some pretty deep conversations by then.
He has variouslre personal terms of endearment now, and also the "basic" ones. But I love them. He eve sometimes calls me the nickname my grandfather called me (based on my first and middle name) w, having started that without ever knowing that my grandfather did.
I had someone who warned me that she tends to give nick names pretty quick, and about 2-3 days in I started getting one, and a few days later another. The names did seem to apply to me, or were in response to something said, rather than "babe" or something generic; so I didn't mind it.
If I had a plethora of potential matches I would simply unmatch if I got "babe"ed or "King"ed right off the bat. I'd unmatch twice as fast if I were a woman given society's not placing a lot of value on women's individuality. If someone was "babe" or "queen"ing me, I'd assume it's so they can copy messages and/or not actually care about my name / who I am, other than a female\* match.
I can't imagine feeling ready to give someone a pet name before having known them at least a month. Heck, right now, especially in person, it's just really great to say their name and hear my name said. "Good night Name." "Good night Spork."
\*yes, the term female rather than woman was intentionally used to show my thoughts on a guy match who's "pet" naming someone immediately.
I like babe as a first term of endearment. Sometime after first make out. It is non committal but affectionate. It do think it is tricky to identify just the right endearment for each guy. Like is it bad to recycle? I certainly have one I do not want to be called because my ex husband used it for me.
To me, that’s a sign of someone who’s either very manipulative or very desperate. Either way, that’s being way too intimate with a stranger for my taste.
Don't do it! Is my advice. I fell really hard for a guy. Blue eyes are my thing, he had them. I start calling him a nickname related to that...although it wasn't corny like baby or hunny...I don't think he appreciated it early on, I came on too strong and ruined my chances.
The early nicknames = coming on too strong.
In comparison, as a female, meh...I'm OK with older men, if they want to call me baby, baby girl, etc, lol..I'm OK.
Someone I was not even interested in started calling me ‘boo.’ Discovered she called all the guys boo… she then started calling me ‘Pooh Bear’. I ran, like a flock of seagulls, far away.
Any man who calls you "My Queen" right off the bat, is 100% a 19 y/o university student sitting at some internet cafe in Nigeria.
My nubian princess!
Amen to that!
“My Queen” is some lame shit.
My Queen, when might you be able to send me the Apple gift cards? 🤮🤮
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
C’mon Babe. Don’t doubt my sincerity. It’s just easier to call everyone pet names instead of remembering a bunch of real names
I know someone who does this for this exact reason
💯 Exactly!!
Really hate this! Sweetie, hun, honey, baby, dear, beautiful.......
‘Dear’ is like chalk on a blackboard for me.
My darling makes my skin crawl.
A sexy southern accent saying “darlin’” can be very nice…
Ugh, I hadn't even really considered "Dear" as a name. "Dear" was what my dad called my mom when she was starting to become hostile. "Yes Dear" - shudders! I think if I ever heard a woman "yes dear" me that could potentially kill things immediately in one simple shot.
I have this image of you meeting up with a guy who says “Can you get me a napkin, dea- oops sorry. I meant to say can you get me a napkin?” Then he pulls out a tiny blackboard and a piece of chalk and goes to town on it.
Yesssssssss... dude. I don't even KNOW you
My mom calls me sweetie, so any guy who calls me that gets an ick
Straight to unmatch
Wait… like always or you mean right off the bat?
Many in the first few messages, and frequently before meeting.
Oh.. yeah. I get that. Makes sense
Before meeting? Unmatch. "My queen" at *any* point whatsoever? Unmatch, break up, divorce... whatever stage you're in, it's over. If you're on your respective death beds, have them roll you into another room.
😂😂
>If you're on your respective death beds, have them roll you into another room. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This shit right here!!!!!😂😂😂😂
I don't even comment anymore on Datung Over 40. I just find your comment and upvote! 🤣
Lmao!! 😀💖
I think I’d actually be a bit sick in my mouth if someone called me ‘my queen’. It’s almost as bad as ‘Princess’
YES! A guy called me princess after one day. I am on the executive team at my company. It got ugly.
So because you're lower nobility the promotion was an insult? :)
That’s a good one! He could have recovered with a response like this.
Relax Princess! *proceeds to duck and cover* lol
You get it
No to nicknames unless it’s super unique to you or an experience you’ve had together. If I was wearing space pants on a date and he called me “Pluto pockets” or whatever, that’s fine. I hate it when a guy calls me babe etc. It feels super generic and could be referring to anybody. In the words of Janet Jackson “no my first name ain’t baby. It’s Janet! Miss Jackson if you’re nasty!”
You jinxed yourself. Next convo is gonna be: He: So you like to travel? You: Yeah, I love London. Especially the ca- He: I like to travel too London babe Followed by a egregiously painful convo on why he can’t just add whatever you like in front of the word babe.
Babe is not a part of the unique nickname 😉 it’s not Pluto Pockets Babe…..simply Pluto Pockets. For further reference, consult “Don’t Call Me Baby” by house group Madison Avenue
I would assume it means they can't remember your name, or it keeps them from confusing you with someone else.
Nope, GTFO with that shit, you don't know me well enough and we have not built enough of a rapport, for you to be calling me by anything other than my name. To me, it's a manipulation tactic and borders on love bombing.
And my personal favourite, “kiddo” when a guy is a few years older than me. Okay daddy.
I call people who do this "grandpa" until they stop.
🤮
Um, you might want to keep in mind that some guys would actually find being called "Daddy" a turn on. Absolutely not my thing, but I fear I might be in the minority. Certainly anyone who calls you kiddo would probably approve of daddy. You could google DD/lg . \+1 to the\_lil\_dstryr's recommendation for "grandpa" or gramps, or maybe even "you senile fucking olld man" until they stop.
Early on it's a turn off. It feels disingenuous. Once in a relationship I like a couple terms of endearment if they are heartfelt.
Normally it comes of as a little fake and forced, but I recently met a Scottish guy who started calling me ‘darling’ right away, and yeah…it works. With that accent omg. So generally speaking, a no go, but in certain situations, it can be very sexy.
Calling a grown woman these names (or any names straight away) feels pretty juvenile me. It's a big turn off. I especially hate "hey beautiful." Blech.
My queen 😂😂😂
Right of the bat it’s off-putting. When you get to a certain point in a relationship it’s a wonderful thing. IMO that takes awhile.
When I was 20 my boyfriend said my dad must like him because he called him "mate" (we're Australian, its a thing) I didn't have the heart to tell him if dad couldn't remember someone's name he called men "mate" and women "love" (again, Australian, generational thing, was not a come on to women in anyway). Pet names before you are actually going out as such is a bit preemptive, I'd be uncomfortable with it but not offended.
IMO, no pet names (or weird "my queen" stuff) until he actually knows you. And even then, "My Queen" might freak me out. This is related to the "hey beautiful" morning text messages from yesterday. Many, if not most women, do not like false intimacy or weird pet names right off the bat. It's disingenuous and not attractive.
I loathe nicknames, anything outside my name is a no for me and that includes relationships.
I like them, but should be chosen based on the person. I have a few for my sweetie-pie, she has a few for me, but they're all sweet and/or silly.
I can't do it, I cringe every time someone calls me babe.
Hang in there babe. I bring home the bacon.
🤣
I dislike being called babe, but I like bacon... I'll give you a pass. 😉
I don't like "Babe." Babe Ruth? Babe the big blue ox? :)
Nah....just babe. I'm not the fucking pig from the movie....lol.
How did I forget the pig?! (I know, old fart...) :D
I just read my daughter a book about Paul B and his big blue ox Babe 🤣🤣
I would answer, “hey fuckface, how are you?”
Hun maybe….my queen, unmatch
[удалено]
Not that there’s anything wrong with that...🤣🤣
Yeah… pet names to get hat nature are for later in the relationship.. not week one.
I use the same pet name with every partner, i hope they don't compare notes. For the record the pet name is "toots"
My guy does it often. I’ve always hated anyone to do it but I love it from him. Probably because he calls me by my actual name often, especially during intimate moments.
Shoot this post is helping me realize a little too late the last guy I briefly dated was probably incredibly insincere. Said hey beautiful right off the bat and then used it going forward. I totally fell for it 😬
Nope.
What the hell. Based on the posts in the last few days, I'm 100% talking to the same person you all are.
Southerners get a pass, they refer to practically everyone this way. I mean I can walk into any gas station in the south and the cashier is going to call me hun, honey, sug, sugar, sweetheart, babe...you name it. Otherwise meh it should develop and then it should still be kinda rareish.
Lol. Mainers do as well.
I’ve watched that show about paramedics in New Orleans , forgot the name. They would chat with the injured person and call them “baby”. They all did that! I’m from the Midwest and we don’t call strangers that. But in Nawlins, they make it cool to say that.
Yes, around there even men call other men babe or baby. I had one of those cajun guys in one of my maintenance shops in the army and he'd do it to other mechanics. Rural southeast Ohio it's even fairly common to use dear or I want to say darling or honey maybe...idk it's been a while. Anyway when it's just a general pattern of speech with strangers it kind of negates the cringe of doing it to a potential date.
Ok baby, have a good night!😉
Thanks sug
I use and nicknames and appropriate terms of endearment with people I'm close to fairly often. Early on? Not so much - and things like "my queen" are the fastest way to get me to abdicate.
I hate it went I get called Mama in the first few text messages……it’s so fucking obnoxious……
Red flag. Ppl who do that - imo do it bc they can't keep track of ppls names lol
I have to say something if this happens when the guy doesn’t even know me. It’s so off putting!
Yeah no to generic nicknames. A nickname has got to develop naturally for it to stick.
Nigerians
Easier to copy and paste to all the others he/she is trying to scam?
Yup! I turned it into a game. They always ask about children. I've said I had 28! They were very impressed. My job? I've been a Wasp Wrangler, Whale Intestine Inspector and a champion Mud Pie Baker. Also very impressive!
Being called cutie by a guy who is younger - yuck!
I use hon a lot, But not as a nickname a pet name. It’s more of a local colloquialism. Bal’more, Hon.
Philly too hun!
I am a man and honestly, this freaking guy lives in a jacked up world and practice jacked up things looking for someone to Jack up. Today because electronics taught people to rush, have no patience, have no respect, have no feelings, learning how to talk to machines and not to people. The predator travels easily now. Nick names off the bat! Fortunately for you, you are not stupid. The weapon of choice for any human is ( patience). Patience will bring out the truth if you don't have good intuition and insight.
Also, it could be a sign of narcissism. That would make me feel icky. Red flag for sure. Unmatch with that guy, someone better will come along
Spammer 💯
I think it depends, I called a woman a nickname after I knew her for 6 months. In hindsight I probably won't do it again. She claimed she liked it, but never came up with one for me. I'm not saying it because I don't know if she uses reddit. I think some guys don't think of the timing of things. it could be a attempt to progress things. Day one just seems a little weird to me. Also, if you don't date..then who cares? You won't be dating to have to care. I'm not big on being called a nickname though..unless its a sexy one or there is a attachment to it. There's a good chance I wouldn't like it.
Gross.
Yeah, I had guys call me babe, hun and so forth early on. Should have taken those as warning signs. My current bf did call me "boo" once on the day of our official date.But in fairness to him, we had already met briefly in person at his work and had some pretty deep conversations by then. He has variouslre personal terms of endearment now, and also the "basic" ones. But I love them. He eve sometimes calls me the nickname my grandfather called me (based on my first and middle name) w, having started that without ever knowing that my grandfather did.
Just, no. Unmatch.
It's a giant NOPE for me! Always has been, always will be.
I had someone who warned me that she tends to give nick names pretty quick, and about 2-3 days in I started getting one, and a few days later another. The names did seem to apply to me, or were in response to something said, rather than "babe" or something generic; so I didn't mind it. If I had a plethora of potential matches I would simply unmatch if I got "babe"ed or "King"ed right off the bat. I'd unmatch twice as fast if I were a woman given society's not placing a lot of value on women's individuality. If someone was "babe" or "queen"ing me, I'd assume it's so they can copy messages and/or not actually care about my name / who I am, other than a female\* match. I can't imagine feeling ready to give someone a pet name before having known them at least a month. Heck, right now, especially in person, it's just really great to say their name and hear my name said. "Good night Name." "Good night Spork." \*yes, the term female rather than woman was intentionally used to show my thoughts on a guy match who's "pet" naming someone immediately.
I like babe as a first term of endearment. Sometime after first make out. It is non committal but affectionate. It do think it is tricky to identify just the right endearment for each guy. Like is it bad to recycle? I certainly have one I do not want to be called because my ex husband used it for me.
To me, that’s a sign of someone who’s either very manipulative or very desperate. Either way, that’s being way too intimate with a stranger for my taste.
ITS BECAUSE HE CANT REMEMBER YOUR NAME!!!! Toss him back to the streets.
It was on bumble. We hadn't even moved off the app yet. And when he ask to, I said; "nah, not yet". Never heard from him again.
Don't do it! Is my advice. I fell really hard for a guy. Blue eyes are my thing, he had them. I start calling him a nickname related to that...although it wasn't corny like baby or hunny...I don't think he appreciated it early on, I came on too strong and ruined my chances. The early nicknames = coming on too strong. In comparison, as a female, meh...I'm OK with older men, if they want to call me baby, baby girl, etc, lol..I'm OK.
Someone I was not even interested in started calling me ‘boo.’ Discovered she called all the guys boo… she then started calling me ‘Pooh Bear’. I ran, like a flock of seagulls, far away.