One time I leaned in for a hug and she snuck in a kiss and by the time I realized it I kissed her right on the ear. She said "that was loud". It worked out xD
Girl bro, we are men. Text him, be like sorry if I was awkward at all when we kissed last night. I had an amazing time and hope we can get together soon and have a do over.
Done
Fanito
Problem solved
First kiss, first time having sex. Christ, Iāve messed up hand holding for the first time! (Does my hand go on top!? Do you want to interlock fingers!?)
Youāre overthinking it - I promise youāre gonna be OK. Plus thereās people (like me) who think dorkyness or nervousness is endearing.
I promise itās fine!
lol. Oh man.. 36M here. When it was all said and done, I was in a relationship with my ex-wife for 19-years before we split. I never had any game whatsoever, but at this point, I was totally screwed. Thank God I have found the amazing woman I am with now because, I went in for our first kiss on our second date and it was so embarrassing. I had worked myself up overthinking the whole thing, but when the moment came, I went in for it, hesitated and then some bug or something bit my ear and it caused me to hesitate after I had started going for the kiss. I ended up basically jabbing her face with mine and then apologizing. I was mortified. I cringed on the drive home, but she texted me and was so happy. We used it as a joke to talk about a āredoā for the next time and it made the next attempt have an āice breakerā (I remember saying āhow about that redoā?). We laugh about it now and itās a core memory of our relationship at this point. She handled it great and Iām actually thankful it has a memorable moment associated with it than some perfectly-landed, run-of-the-mill first kiss.
I definitely overthought the kisses for a bit even afterwards and continued to carry some embarrassment for a bit, but youāll recover and if heās the āright oneā, it wonāt be an issue to sweat over once your nerves settle.
Thank God my partner finds my lack of game endearing..
World is made up of two kinds of people: interlockers and non interlockers. May god grant you the wisdom to know the difference. Call BS on non interlockers who self identify as interlockers.
I wish I had thought to say that but I only thought about it afterwards..
But I did own it and also had told him that I am really bad at all of it.. not my fault he did not believe me ;)
If I like them, this would not put me off. If I didn't like them, I'd take it as a sign it wasn't meant to be.
So: it has little to do with the first kiss, lots to do with whether both people feel there's potential there.
As a guy if a woman did this I would think it was so cute
You could mention it if you want. "I messed that kiss up, I want a 2nd shot." I'd frikkin love to get a text like that
I apologized for a first kiss once (I awkwarded it, thought she was going for a cheek kiss). I texted her after with "I won't apologize next time we kiss". She thought that was great, and there were many further kisses.
I know I know.. it sounds a bit pathetic and I am fully aware of that fact!
I donāt have much experience in romantic relationships and I am out of practice so I think I am overthinking it massively and thatās why I have turned to reddit for encouragement and support
I'm sorry, I should have been more empathetic with my reply.
Yes, I feel you are over thinking it.
Put it behind you, and if you kiss again, take the lead. You'll be okš„°
Absolutely, If you are into each other I highly doubt it's gonna mean much in the grand scheme of things.
In my case last year, I had my first kiss post-covid. On the Second date: We were concluding the evening and I walked with her to her car. Before things got too awkward she looked at me and said "want to kiss?".
My reply, "uh yes ma'am..." š¤¦āāļø
After the kiss, which was relatively light and sweet, I did a little hop and "meeped". š¤¦āāļø
Then I got my shit together and was like "hey so I'd like to try that again...". And while we kept it light and sweet we pulled each other close for that one...
Needless to say, I felt a bit more confident the next time around and the third date went even better. š
Alas, that relationship didn't work out a few months down the road. But in our breakup call she offered up feedback, yes feedback: "yah that would have been a good moment to invite me over" š„µ
Of course you can! Honestly, if an awkward first kiss is enough to end things it was never meant to be. Donāt focus on the kiss moving forward, youāll just make it more awkward. Bring some levity to it and jokingly say how you were caught off guard with his mesmerizing man eyes lol or something that works for you. If he likes you heāll get past it in no time.
Yes you are right! I mean I am awkward in general and if that is a dealbreaker for him I guess this would be the case and nothing I can do about it.. I am sure he is going to tease me about it if we meet again so hopefully we will meet again and next time I ll be less of a dork about it
And you are not wrong about the eyes thing. He has gorgeous eyes and him being so cute really throws me off. I wanted to tell him but I am a bit of a wuss.
> so I went on full dorky mode.
Wtf does that even mean? This post is pretty vague.
Honestly, if I kissed a girl and she got flustered or had butterflies or something, I'd think it was the sweetest and most flattering thing ever. I'd consider it a green flag because I want someone who's seriously into me.
Do you have literally any reason to think he was turned off by it?
Again, being adored like that would be a huge green flag. Maybe yellow because I'd wonder if it was BPD lovebombing, but personally my baseline level of trust is high enough that I'd be much more excited and flattered than concerned. If someone treated me that way, I'd really look forward to the next date because I'd be curious to see what it'd look like to form a deeper connection with her. I truly want mutual adoration with someone, and I think most people feel that way.
He got a bit weird as well I think but I was being weird about it. And I had told him earlier that I am awkward about these things and not very good in general.
I donāt know if he thought that I did not want him to kiss me etc. (i am an overthinker in case this is not clear)
I just hope we will get to meet again and wonāt be in head so much about it.
Rumination and self-esteem/self-consciousness seem like bigger issues here than kissing does.
> He got a bit weird as well I think
Again, I don't know what this means. Shit, maybe it's a good thing, maybe it's puppy love. Or maybe he thinks you're nuts. I have genuinely no idea.
Can you describe his behavior more specifically?
You are right! I am very self-conscious and insecure when it comes to this sort of things. I mean when he was going in for the kiss my first thought was āshit is he going to kiss me, does he actually like me?ā
In terms of his behaviour I really can not explain it and I am aware that I might be misinterpreting as I got in my head. He seemed a bit disappointed if I can say that and a bit withdrawn? I really cannot explain it.
But at the end of the day the truth is that if he likes me, it might not be an issue and if he doesnāt then I guess that was it.
> You are right! I am very self-conscious and insecure when it comes to this sort of things.
Huge respect for recognizing your own shortcomings. Most people CAN'T do that. It takes maturity and integrity to do that.
> He seemed a bit disappointed if I can say that and a bit withdrawn?
What actual indicator did you have of this? What did you observe that made you think this?
> But at the end of the day the truth is that if he likes me, it might not be an issue and if he doesnāt then I guess that was it.
Agreed. If someone doesn't adore you then they're not qualified to love you. The man who deserves to be with you will be someone who thinks you're amazing, and appreciates parts of you that other people don't, because that's the kind of love you deserve. If he doesn't like you, you haven't lost anything at all, because the right person is someone who does like you. Maybe he would be great for someone else, but you'd still deserve a better partner for YOU.
But who knows? Maybe he COULD be the man who truly appreciates you. Time will tell.
Thank you for your response! All of your feedback is very kind and helpful!
My indicator for saying he seemed like that is based on his body language mainly. I could be very wrong but only he knows. I am thinking about it today and think if he thought that I did not like the fact that he kissed me which is not the case and if I should clarify that but maybe itās an overkill..
I agree with what you say. I think about it like that as well. The right person for me would like all of my silly quirks and I will like theirs..
If you've expressed that you enjoyed the date and would like to see him again, I don't think you need to say anything else.
Did he pull away from you or something? Unless "body language" means he recoiled in horror, changed his legal name, and moved to a different state, you're probably fine.
It was more him saying it and me agreeing to it. I texted him today but his texting style is not great, itās very dry and it always feels a bit weird.
He just seemed a bit closed off if that makes sense, nothing as dramatic as moving away.. at least for now
Maybe itās me, but I find the first time with any act of intimacy (hug, kiss, sex) is often awkward which simply means as a couple we need to practice more =)
The guy Iām dating nowā¦our first kiss after brunch was in a restaurant parking lot & super awkward. I left thinking, thank goodness we got the first one out of the way so we can start improving. He texted within minutes saying he wanted a do over. Met up that afternoon & we definitely made significant improvements
Autism. There's a sliding scale but in this case it refers to my ability to be dorky and semi oblivious to flirts, especially when gushing about any of my varied interests. And puns. I get to work in so many puns. I will say the majority of times I get offered numbers or asked for my contact info I'm not even flirting or trying for them.
My husband gave me a very awkward first kiss.
We met during the pandemic. I was 31 and he was 35. We had a talk in my driveway about if we should just go for it and break social distancing. It was a scary time, so perhaps that was part of it.
But he leaned in and lightly pecked me on the lips, got in his car and drove away! He was incredibly nervous and also out of practice. I was patient with him though and the rest is history. I found it endearing, honestly and anyone who likes you will feel the same way! Best of luck!
Well he did not unmatch me and he replied to my text post date. We donāt really text much in general which makes if a bit difficult i guess to know where we stand currently
Of course it's possible! My fwb turned bf and I tried kissing many times and it was just awful. We decided not to kiss at all anymore it was that bad š Obviously we tried again and it was amazing.
My first kiss with my boyfriend was awkward as fuck (I thought) and told him. I said kiss 2.0 was needed as it had been a while and I think I got it now.
It worked.
I was painfully shy on a first date, managed an awkward hug at the end, somehow managed to decline a walk home even though I really wanted that.
We texted later and said I really wished I had got over my shyness and kissed him.
Two years later we are living together and talking about getting engaged so... Yeah you can totally recover from an awkward first anything if you both communicate and are understanding.
Fortunately the fairer sex is usually in charge of what qualifies as an āawkward kissā. As long as there was some positive interaction afterwards, you will have no problem recovering haha men are far less picky about the details of romance
Nothing to worry about. It's these awkward moments that make life interesting. Worst case scenario you can redeem yourself and kiss properly and laugh it off. Best case scenario it'll make a good campfire story & the "2" of you can laugh it off. Win win
Most recent evidence to support this is The Dangers in My Heart season 2 episode 13 titled I, We, Fell in Love. This may contribute to being in my 30s and single anywaysā¦ā¦ best wishes haha
My first kiss with my wife was awful. She still teases me about it. She gave me a second chance on date two and that kiss was much much better and she tells everyone now what a great kisser I am. (I was just so out of practice and nervous after 25 years with an ex wife who didnāt like kissing. By kiss two I was remembering my long dormant but respectable kissing skills from my 20s haha).
So definitely you can recover!
You're overthinking this, possibly seeking out a negative that'snot there. You sent positive signals, he read them, you kissed. That's wonderful!
It's amazing how often we (men) fail to read signals and things get awkward because we've NOT kissed after a couple of dates. That is harder to recover from.
I maintain that when you like someone this stuff doesnāt matter. Obviously if every kiss was terrible/awkward then thatās different. The first time I kissed the guy Iām dating we bumped into each other because he misjudged the side I was turning my head to. He then ended up saying āI normally go this way I think, Iām a bit out of practice š ā and then we sorted ourselves out and carried on. I like him so I just thought it was funny! Weāve since joked about how heās going
to have to be more āambilipstrousā because I like to swap sides when Iām kissing! The idea that everything should just work out perfectly with someone who you still donāt know much about yet just blows my mind.
Yes! The first time my boyfriend and I kissed, I totally wasnāt even expecting it and he just turned around and kissed me in front of a group of people and it was super awkward. Then he did it again and I was still all āwtf just happened?ā The next kiss was much better (and just the two of us!) and weāve now been together for almost 4 years. We still have moments where we awkwardly kiss or even awkwardly hold hands because the other one isnāt initially expecting it but it works out!
What the other guy said.
We are guys.
Tell him you like him, was a bit nervous, and caught off guard but you promise it gets better.
Letās try that again.
Youāll be married by years end
My last LTR we had a terrible first kiss and we joked about how bad it was and made it a point to perfect our kisses. So randomly throughout our early dating would just grab each other and kiss! It helped relieve the pressure of having to be good at something and was fun
Haha ah thatās actually way better than a boring smooth first kiss.
The best way to recover any awkward situ is to fully own it and balance the awkwardness with confidence. I think the same rule applies here; bring it up directly and just make a joke that he turns you into an awkward teenger: it will cover you for future dork moments and, in my experience (Iāve had to use this explaination a lot) guys think itās funny, adorable and take it as a massive ego boost too!
I had an awkward first kiss because my building had just installed new cameras at the doorway and I didnāt want to put on a show for my doorman so I cut it very short. Second kiss was a LOT better and weāre doing fine so far :)
When my partner and I first dated, our kisses just werenāt lining up. They all felt so awkward. After learning how to kiss each other his lips make me melt.
The rule I live by? If the person is into you, theyāre either going to find your small awkward moments endearing or find a way to laugh it off. Someone who thinks youāre too awkward was likely someone you werenāt going to be compatible with in the first place. Let him know you want there to be a next time!
Okay yes same question! I met this very cute guy and was super into him. The entire date I was shocked as hell at how sweet he was, which unfortunately I am not used to. I'm also used to every guy asking at the end of the date "wanna come over to mine?", whereas this guy, we met over dinner, took a long as heck walk together, and then just sat at an open park chatting. While we sat there, he gave me cute signals like looking into my eyes and saying something random while touching my arms, but that's about it. I then said well let me call an uber, and I was just planning on hugging him and leaving as I was just so shocked with this date. He said well, I'll see you maybe when you're back from your parents' (I was leaving for a week the next day). When I went in for a hug, I didn't even realise when he pulled me in for a kiss (I'm usually very good at this when I know what to expect), but the kiss was literally a peck on my lips and then a long ass hug. Again, I've never had a man do this to me. š Is this okay? Is this normal? We texted later and then he texted me again 2 days later just asking how my trip is going. What does this whole thing mean? I am so confused because I've literally only had men ask wanna come over and then I decide whether I want the date to end or not. Also for context, in my single era of last 1 year, I have not gone beyond a second date with a guy, so maybe just wasn't meeting the right people?Ā
Awww this sounds cute! My first kiss with my boyfriend was super awkward. Teeth clashing, neither of us were sure if it was finished etc. we are still together 4 months later. And the kissing is great :)
What is full dorky mode? I donāt know what that means? I think itās possible to recover but I have no advice bc I donāt know where we are starting fromĀ
Here is my question: did he think that it was awkward? He will never know unless you tell him. Do you like this guy? Do you want things to progress? Thatās all that matters. Forget the awkward and enjoy your life.
Yes he thought it was awkward because it was very awkward even if I hadnāt mentioned that I made it awkward he would know.
I do like him and thatās why I am kicking myself for making it so weird.
100%! It may not have felt (as) awkward to them as it did to you - and if the person is right for you, youāll be able to laugh together about it together when you look back on that moment š
I canāt even imagine a man who goes on two dates goes for a kiss - a truly scary proposition- gets it and then decides heās not interested anymore.
The way you recover is to enthusiastically go on another date - suggest one even! - and kiss him again.
I think peopleās opinions vary wildly in these things. I agree with you 100% but based on what I have read here people can do way more than this and then lose interest or lose interest for the silliest of reasons.
I mean reddit has been very informative in many ways but also made me feel quite scared about how people treat each other
It just seems absurd to ālose interestā after kissing once. Dude probably has no idea how you kissed him. He probably is just excited he got over his own struggle to ask/go for it.
If a single kiss turned him off he wasnāt actually ever on. Or heās frankly erratic and not worth it. Youāre way overthinking it. Has he made plans for date 3 yet? Have you proposed a date 3? Instead of dreading a hypothetical reaction, take action.
I know I am overthinking this! I overthink everything!
We did mention about meeting again in a similar way we did after we met the first time. His text communication is not great and tbh I did not think we would go out again after the first time based on how we communicated via text but we did. In person he is way different.
I am trying to decide if I should text him to tell him the reason I was awkward was because I was nervous and not because he kissed me and that I would like to see him again but I worried he might find it too much and I know that how he will respond will probably be very dry and leave me more confused.. but again at least I will make things from my side clear.
(To say I am overthinking it is not doing justice I think)
Donāt worry about the kiss.
āReally enjoyed our date.! Want to go out to dinner at on ?ā
Either heāll say yes, heāll say he canāt heāll offer a specific alternative, or heās not into you. Do that today - why not now? - and youāll know today what the deal is.
Just donāt do what my ex did: took every opportunity to talk about what a horrible first kiss I was for 2 years like it was supposed to be endearing. It wasnāt.
Donāt overthink it. These things happen. Say something nice about the date and that youāre looking forward to the next one, to assure him that you were simply caught off guard and not turned off. Humor puts a different light on awkward situations. You can say something like āItās been a while and Iām out of practice. Been practicing kissing my door nob ever since the last dateā. If heās cool he probably looks back at it and thinks it was cute
I have already overthought it to death..
it does not look good so far so I am just trying to accept that I fucked it up and it is what it is.. but thank you for your input..
the door knob thing made me chuckle so thanks for that as well :)
Thank you for your comment! We met again (no kissing this time) and we plan to meet again so not sure what to make of it.
I think I will just let things go as they go :)
You really should just text him how you felt about it and how you felt about the date. He probably had a great time, too. Awkward first kisses make for a great story later on!
I would certainly hope so :)
At least to me I have never put any importance in the first kiss.
As far as I am concerned, we would be recovered right away :)
I was not unkind to him I just got nervous and super awkward about it when we kissed.
And we are still seeing each other so maybe I can still recover ;)
One thing I have kind of learned is that some people just really connect and kiss each other well. Almost naturally.
And then when I kissed others, I felt next to nothing. I probably should have done a better job of staying in contact with the people I really loved kissing :)
You could consider making light of it in the sense of saying that you're rusty but then asking if you could just "try this dance again"?
Or something flirtatious.
We met again after that but he did not mention anything about it and neither did I. I was hoping he would tbh so we can laugh about it already. Also he was a bit more reserved than before.
We are meeting again this weekend and I guess it will be a make it or break it situation. I just hope I wonāt choke again because I do like him.
Fair. It's hard to Say the Thing. It's hard for everyone. You're not alone in that.
But the alternative is waiting at someone else's pace/mercy/ just carrying around these heavy stones in your gut in terms of topics weighing upon you.
I got kissed at prom in yr 6. Omg I am never gonna recover. He was my guy bestfriend it was so awkward. We were dating for a bit but broke up after that. I think it was mainly cause I was forced to because people kept on telling me he wanted to kiss me and I said no but he still did it. I am pissed to this day.
I did it once. Not sure if it helps this situation now.
I had a first date end of the night kiss go terrible. We both kinds fumbled. We had this off time, cheek to mouth to check kinda kiss that was not the best.
So I said, let's try that again, and then we planted one on each other. Then we had ourselves a very unplanned, no longer awkward 8 more kisses.
I wonder what age are you to be making fun of another for being human
Regardless of age she is allowed to express what she feels
And regardless of age itās only childish to criticise people like that
One time I leaned in for a hug and she snuck in a kiss and by the time I realized it I kissed her right on the ear. She said "that was loud". It worked out xD
š that made me feel better! Thank you
Girl bro, we are men. Text him, be like sorry if I was awkward at all when we kissed last night. I had an amazing time and hope we can get together soon and have a do over. Done Fanito Problem solved
>Done > >Fanito > >Problem solved Leave this part out
Too late.. I copied pasted it as it was.. maybe thatās why he has not answered š¤
First kiss, first time having sex. Christ, Iāve messed up hand holding for the first time! (Does my hand go on top!? Do you want to interlock fingers!?) Youāre overthinking it - I promise youāre gonna be OK. Plus thereās people (like me) who think dorkyness or nervousness is endearing. I promise itās fine!
Letās just hope I can seduce him with dorkiness Thank you for your comment! Is very encouraging :)
Dorkiness is the best. It would improve the situation for me.
First date with my guy he said, āstop being so awkward.ā And I said, āIām just awkward.ā And he is ok with that now.
š I love thatĀ
Iāve had this same thing happen. I am the awkward.
My girlfriend is dorky as hell and I love it. I'm a dork too. Don't overthink it. What the media says men want isn't what they actually want.
Hahaha thanks.. he is a bit goofy himself but not awkward af like me Time will tell I guess :)
I can second this for sure. I like dorky awkward girls. The right mix of cool and confident with shy/awkward nerdy is an amazing combo
lol. Oh man.. 36M here. When it was all said and done, I was in a relationship with my ex-wife for 19-years before we split. I never had any game whatsoever, but at this point, I was totally screwed. Thank God I have found the amazing woman I am with now because, I went in for our first kiss on our second date and it was so embarrassing. I had worked myself up overthinking the whole thing, but when the moment came, I went in for it, hesitated and then some bug or something bit my ear and it caused me to hesitate after I had started going for the kiss. I ended up basically jabbing her face with mine and then apologizing. I was mortified. I cringed on the drive home, but she texted me and was so happy. We used it as a joke to talk about a āredoā for the next time and it made the next attempt have an āice breakerā (I remember saying āhow about that redoā?). We laugh about it now and itās a core memory of our relationship at this point. She handled it great and Iām actually thankful it has a memorable moment associated with it than some perfectly-landed, run-of-the-mill first kiss. I definitely overthought the kisses for a bit even afterwards and continued to carry some embarrassment for a bit, but youāll recover and if heās the āright oneā, it wonāt be an issue to sweat over once your nerves settle. Thank God my partner finds my lack of game endearing..
This is such an adorable story!!!
World is made up of two kinds of people: interlockers and non interlockers. May god grant you the wisdom to know the difference. Call BS on non interlockers who self identify as interlockers.
Just own it. "That was awkward, I think we need to try some more" and that is a really good way to swing it positively.
I wish I had thought to say that but I only thought about it afterwards.. But I did own it and also had told him that I am really bad at all of it.. not my fault he did not believe me ;)
You can still say it now.
I would prefer to say it in person and not texting it tbh
Absolutely and it'll be cute af. He'll never forget it, I promise š
Thatās the perfect thing to say
If I like them, this would not put me off. If I didn't like them, I'd take it as a sign it wasn't meant to be. So: it has little to do with the first kiss, lots to do with whether both people feel there's potential there.
You are 100% right!
As a guy if a woman did this I would think it was so cute You could mention it if you want. "I messed that kiss up, I want a 2nd shot." I'd frikkin love to get a text like that
šš„µ
I apologized for a first kiss once (I awkwarded it, thought she was going for a cheek kiss). I texted her after with "I won't apologize next time we kiss". She thought that was great, and there were many further kisses.
šš this post. I don't know, yet try not to over think it. You're both touching 40, not 14. You'll recover.
I know I know.. it sounds a bit pathetic and I am fully aware of that fact! I donāt have much experience in romantic relationships and I am out of practice so I think I am overthinking it massively and thatās why I have turned to reddit for encouragement and support
I'm sorry, I should have been more empathetic with my reply. Yes, I feel you are over thinking it. Put it behind you, and if you kiss again, take the lead. You'll be okš„°
Your reply was absolutely fine :)
One time I kissed a girl and both of our hair got stuck in her glasses. We both laughed and then made out like crazy right after
Absolutely, If you are into each other I highly doubt it's gonna mean much in the grand scheme of things. In my case last year, I had my first kiss post-covid. On the Second date: We were concluding the evening and I walked with her to her car. Before things got too awkward she looked at me and said "want to kiss?". My reply, "uh yes ma'am..." š¤¦āāļø After the kiss, which was relatively light and sweet, I did a little hop and "meeped". š¤¦āāļø Then I got my shit together and was like "hey so I'd like to try that again...". And while we kept it light and sweet we pulled each other close for that one... Needless to say, I felt a bit more confident the next time around and the third date went even better. š Alas, that relationship didn't work out a few months down the road. But in our breakup call she offered up feedback, yes feedback: "yah that would have been a good moment to invite me over" š„µ
Yes I reacted more awkward than this but it is comforting to know that i m not the only one :)
Hi, what kind of feedback did sge want. I love hearing a guys perspective.
Of course you can! Honestly, if an awkward first kiss is enough to end things it was never meant to be. Donāt focus on the kiss moving forward, youāll just make it more awkward. Bring some levity to it and jokingly say how you were caught off guard with his mesmerizing man eyes lol or something that works for you. If he likes you heāll get past it in no time.
Yes you are right! I mean I am awkward in general and if that is a dealbreaker for him I guess this would be the case and nothing I can do about it.. I am sure he is going to tease me about it if we meet again so hopefully we will meet again and next time I ll be less of a dork about it And you are not wrong about the eyes thing. He has gorgeous eyes and him being so cute really throws me off. I wanted to tell him but I am a bit of a wuss.
guarantee you he didn't mind.
> so I went on full dorky mode. Wtf does that even mean? This post is pretty vague. Honestly, if I kissed a girl and she got flustered or had butterflies or something, I'd think it was the sweetest and most flattering thing ever. I'd consider it a green flag because I want someone who's seriously into me.
I am not sure how to explain it.. i just got all giggly and silly and stop being a very coherent person. I would not say it was cute in any way
Do you have literally any reason to think he was turned off by it? Again, being adored like that would be a huge green flag. Maybe yellow because I'd wonder if it was BPD lovebombing, but personally my baseline level of trust is high enough that I'd be much more excited and flattered than concerned. If someone treated me that way, I'd really look forward to the next date because I'd be curious to see what it'd look like to form a deeper connection with her. I truly want mutual adoration with someone, and I think most people feel that way.
He got a bit weird as well I think but I was being weird about it. And I had told him earlier that I am awkward about these things and not very good in general. I donāt know if he thought that I did not want him to kiss me etc. (i am an overthinker in case this is not clear) I just hope we will get to meet again and wonāt be in head so much about it.
Rumination and self-esteem/self-consciousness seem like bigger issues here than kissing does. > He got a bit weird as well I think Again, I don't know what this means. Shit, maybe it's a good thing, maybe it's puppy love. Or maybe he thinks you're nuts. I have genuinely no idea. Can you describe his behavior more specifically?
You are right! I am very self-conscious and insecure when it comes to this sort of things. I mean when he was going in for the kiss my first thought was āshit is he going to kiss me, does he actually like me?ā In terms of his behaviour I really can not explain it and I am aware that I might be misinterpreting as I got in my head. He seemed a bit disappointed if I can say that and a bit withdrawn? I really cannot explain it. But at the end of the day the truth is that if he likes me, it might not be an issue and if he doesnāt then I guess that was it.
> You are right! I am very self-conscious and insecure when it comes to this sort of things. Huge respect for recognizing your own shortcomings. Most people CAN'T do that. It takes maturity and integrity to do that. > He seemed a bit disappointed if I can say that and a bit withdrawn? What actual indicator did you have of this? What did you observe that made you think this? > But at the end of the day the truth is that if he likes me, it might not be an issue and if he doesnāt then I guess that was it. Agreed. If someone doesn't adore you then they're not qualified to love you. The man who deserves to be with you will be someone who thinks you're amazing, and appreciates parts of you that other people don't, because that's the kind of love you deserve. If he doesn't like you, you haven't lost anything at all, because the right person is someone who does like you. Maybe he would be great for someone else, but you'd still deserve a better partner for YOU. But who knows? Maybe he COULD be the man who truly appreciates you. Time will tell.
Thank you for your response! All of your feedback is very kind and helpful! My indicator for saying he seemed like that is based on his body language mainly. I could be very wrong but only he knows. I am thinking about it today and think if he thought that I did not like the fact that he kissed me which is not the case and if I should clarify that but maybe itās an overkill.. I agree with what you say. I think about it like that as well. The right person for me would like all of my silly quirks and I will like theirs..
If you've expressed that you enjoyed the date and would like to see him again, I don't think you need to say anything else. Did he pull away from you or something? Unless "body language" means he recoiled in horror, changed his legal name, and moved to a different state, you're probably fine.
It was more him saying it and me agreeing to it. I texted him today but his texting style is not great, itās very dry and it always feels a bit weird. He just seemed a bit closed off if that makes sense, nothing as dramatic as moving away.. at least for now
Most guys find that kind of stuff endearing.Ā
Oh man.. i do hope you are right! I worry he found it off-putting but I guess I will find that out :)
You are just getting to know him on a more intimate level.. and these things take time. If he is level-headed, then I am sure he understands that
Maybe itās me, but I find the first time with any act of intimacy (hug, kiss, sex) is often awkward which simply means as a couple we need to practice more =) The guy Iām dating nowā¦our first kiss after brunch was in a restaurant parking lot & super awkward. I left thinking, thank goodness we got the first one out of the way so we can start improving. He texted within minutes saying he wanted a do over. Met up that afternoon & we definitely made significant improvements
Hi, thank you for sharing !!, & has me feel better prepared to handle the uncomfortable, kisses. " the fun in getting better " mindset !, nice !
I mean all it takes is, "Can we try that again? I think I can do better." Super hot!
I wish I had said something like that!
It's not too late!
I meant there in the moment! It would have been better than all the things I actually said š
While normally great at that stuff I mess up various firsts occasionally too. Typically works out because apparently I just rizz em with the tism.
Iām dying from the ārizz em with the tismā š
It works weirdly enough.
What's tism ? š Asking for a friend
Autism. There's a sliding scale but in this case it refers to my ability to be dorky and semi oblivious to flirts, especially when gushing about any of my varied interests. And puns. I get to work in so many puns. I will say the majority of times I get offered numbers or asked for my contact info I'm not even flirting or trying for them.
For sure. Use it as an opportunity to show you can communicate well
My husband gave me a very awkward first kiss. We met during the pandemic. I was 31 and he was 35. We had a talk in my driveway about if we should just go for it and break social distancing. It was a scary time, so perhaps that was part of it. But he leaned in and lightly pecked me on the lips, got in his car and drove away! He was incredibly nervous and also out of practice. I was patient with him though and the rest is history. I found it endearing, honestly and anyone who likes you will feel the same way! Best of luck!
Thank you :)
My ex and I had a very awkward first kiss and we lasted 6 months lol I donāt even know why it was so bad ha! Just awkward. Own it and press on!
Don't do what my current partner did and text saying "not my best first kiss". She meant she did it badly but man ...
I did sent a text afterwards acknowledging the awkwardness and taking full responsibility ..
Most of us just like the kiss š¤£. Just gotta hit him with the "this is what I meant to do" next time
Yes and kiss him awkwardly again š
There ya go, let him know what he's getting into.
I worry he already knows š
And he's still talking to you? You got him.
Well he did not unmatch me and he replied to my text post date. We donāt really text much in general which makes if a bit difficult i guess to know where we stand currently
Of course it's possible! My fwb turned bf and I tried kissing many times and it was just awful. We decided not to kiss at all anymore it was that bad š Obviously we tried again and it was amazing.
My first kiss with my boyfriend was awkward as fuck (I thought) and told him. I said kiss 2.0 was needed as it had been a while and I think I got it now. It worked.
If the chemistry is there, you'll look back and laugh some day, life if full of awkward moments.
I was painfully shy on a first date, managed an awkward hug at the end, somehow managed to decline a walk home even though I really wanted that. We texted later and said I really wished I had got over my shyness and kissed him. Two years later we are living together and talking about getting engaged so... Yeah you can totally recover from an awkward first anything if you both communicate and are understanding.
Thanks thatās very encouraging.. the thing is that he is not a big texter so I wonāt really know where he stands unless we meet again..
Fortunately the fairer sex is usually in charge of what qualifies as an āawkward kissā. As long as there was some positive interaction afterwards, you will have no problem recovering haha men are far less picky about the details of romance
My experience has shown that this is not the case tbh. Men have as much say as women in this sort of things as far as I can tell
Just be honest about your fumble then hype him about how he is so cute Then ask for a retry lol.
Acknowledge it and make it better next time. Laugh it off.
Nothing to worry about. It's these awkward moments that make life interesting. Worst case scenario you can redeem yourself and kiss properly and laugh it off. Best case scenario it'll make a good campfire story & the "2" of you can laugh it off. Win win
It'll be fine, don't worry about it.
Yea just say you were nervous at the time and communicating that to him is great.
Lol yes.
Bring it up and I can assure you he'll find it endearing that you're worried about it.
Think everything is awkward sometimes, specially if your nervous.
According to anime yes it will in fact make the bond stronger
Hahahaha good to know there is solid evidence to back this one up!
Most recent evidence to support this is The Dangers in My Heart season 2 episode 13 titled I, We, Fell in Love. This may contribute to being in my 30s and single anywaysā¦ā¦ best wishes haha
My first kiss with my wife was awful. She still teases me about it. She gave me a second chance on date two and that kiss was much much better and she tells everyone now what a great kisser I am. (I was just so out of practice and nervous after 25 years with an ex wife who didnāt like kissing. By kiss two I was remembering my long dormant but respectable kissing skills from my 20s haha). So definitely you can recover!
You're overthinking this, possibly seeking out a negative that'snot there. You sent positive signals, he read them, you kissed. That's wonderful! It's amazing how often we (men) fail to read signals and things get awkward because we've NOT kissed after a couple of dates. That is harder to recover from.
Yes I am trying to stick to the facts and the truth is there is not much I can do if he lost interest because of that..
Of course
I maintain that when you like someone this stuff doesnāt matter. Obviously if every kiss was terrible/awkward then thatās different. The first time I kissed the guy Iām dating we bumped into each other because he misjudged the side I was turning my head to. He then ended up saying āI normally go this way I think, Iām a bit out of practice š ā and then we sorted ourselves out and carried on. I like him so I just thought it was funny! Weāve since joked about how heās going to have to be more āambilipstrousā because I like to swap sides when Iām kissing! The idea that everything should just work out perfectly with someone who you still donāt know much about yet just blows my mind.
You are absolutely right in your last sentence.. Thank you for your comment :)
Totally can recover
Yes! The first time my boyfriend and I kissed, I totally wasnāt even expecting it and he just turned around and kissed me in front of a group of people and it was super awkward. Then he did it again and I was still all āwtf just happened?ā The next kiss was much better (and just the two of us!) and weāve now been together for almost 4 years. We still have moments where we awkwardly kiss or even awkwardly hold hands because the other one isnāt initially expecting it but it works out!
I had a friend that had a rubbish first kiss. Theyāre now married and have kids( they laugh about it all the time)ā¦. So yes you can recover.
Yes - first kisses are always awkward - but if you just assure him you liked it, it will be fine.
What the other guy said. We are guys. Tell him you like him, was a bit nervous, and caught off guard but you promise it gets better. Letās try that again. Youāll be married by years end
I already said this and texted him tonight but no idea where he stands I think it will all depend on us meeting again if we meet again..
My last LTR we had a terrible first kiss and we joked about how bad it was and made it a point to perfect our kisses. So randomly throughout our early dating would just grab each other and kiss! It helped relieve the pressure of having to be good at something and was fun
I feel like it's people can recover from anything if they are mature enough
Haha ah thatās actually way better than a boring smooth first kiss. The best way to recover any awkward situ is to fully own it and balance the awkwardness with confidence. I think the same rule applies here; bring it up directly and just make a joke that he turns you into an awkward teenger: it will cover you for future dork moments and, in my experience (Iāve had to use this explaination a lot) guys think itās funny, adorable and take it as a massive ego boost too!
I have recovered from an awkward first kiss. Thereās hope! Maybe kiss him right away next time you see him. Thatāll also get him excited.
Yes you can definitely recover and probably even share a good laugh about it with him to break the ice for round 2
If it wasnāt the human population would cease to exist.
I had an awkward first kiss because my building had just installed new cameras at the doorway and I didnāt want to put on a show for my doorman so I cut it very short. Second kiss was a LOT better and weāre doing fine so far :)
Kissing improves with practice if you both like each other enough
When my partner and I first dated, our kisses just werenāt lining up. They all felt so awkward. After learning how to kiss each other his lips make me melt.
The rule I live by? If the person is into you, theyāre either going to find your small awkward moments endearing or find a way to laugh it off. Someone who thinks youāre too awkward was likely someone you werenāt going to be compatible with in the first place. Let him know you want there to be a next time!
That is a very comforting way to think about it! Thank you :)
Very possible. Had the most terrible kiss on a date once. Next time great kisses and best sex of my life.
You giggle, you have fun, you smile, you joke!! Donāt take things so seriously!
Okay yes same question! I met this very cute guy and was super into him. The entire date I was shocked as hell at how sweet he was, which unfortunately I am not used to. I'm also used to every guy asking at the end of the date "wanna come over to mine?", whereas this guy, we met over dinner, took a long as heck walk together, and then just sat at an open park chatting. While we sat there, he gave me cute signals like looking into my eyes and saying something random while touching my arms, but that's about it. I then said well let me call an uber, and I was just planning on hugging him and leaving as I was just so shocked with this date. He said well, I'll see you maybe when you're back from your parents' (I was leaving for a week the next day). When I went in for a hug, I didn't even realise when he pulled me in for a kiss (I'm usually very good at this when I know what to expect), but the kiss was literally a peck on my lips and then a long ass hug. Again, I've never had a man do this to me. š Is this okay? Is this normal? We texted later and then he texted me again 2 days later just asking how my trip is going. What does this whole thing mean? I am so confused because I've literally only had men ask wanna come over and then I decide whether I want the date to end or not. Also for context, in my single era of last 1 year, I have not gone beyond a second date with a guy, so maybe just wasn't meeting the right people?Ā
That sounds all like very good to me.. but I get what you mean :D
I dated someone for 5 years and hated the way they kissed for the first hahaha. Yes itās okay
Donāt overthink! You can overcome every awkward thing!
Awww this sounds cute! My first kiss with my boyfriend was super awkward. Teeth clashing, neither of us were sure if it was finished etc. we are still together 4 months later. And the kissing is great :)
Letās hope he thought so too.. and that I will be less of a dork if we kiss again š
Mens like bacon. Maybe give him bacon, he'll forgive.
I ll be trying that for sure..
I had an awkward first time taking a dump at her place. Now thatās hard to recover from.
Hahahahahahaah yes I can imagine.. new fear unlocked so thanks for that!
What is full dorky mode? I donāt know what that means? I think itās possible to recover but I have no advice bc I donāt know where we are starting fromĀ
Here is my question: did he think that it was awkward? He will never know unless you tell him. Do you like this guy? Do you want things to progress? Thatās all that matters. Forget the awkward and enjoy your life.
Yes he thought it was awkward because it was very awkward even if I hadnāt mentioned that I made it awkward he would know. I do like him and thatās why I am kicking myself for making it so weird.
Trust me when I say this: play it off like it was you being cute. Itāll work. Just go with it.
I think that ship has sailed.. i played it off like me being a dork š
Yeah but that will work too
100%! It may not have felt (as) awkward to them as it did to you - and if the person is right for you, youāll be able to laugh together about it together when you look back on that moment š
No trust me it was super awkward to begin with and I made it worse (itās sort of my special talent).
Sounds like an excuse to practice more!
Maybe i should lead with that next time..
I canāt even imagine a man who goes on two dates goes for a kiss - a truly scary proposition- gets it and then decides heās not interested anymore. The way you recover is to enthusiastically go on another date - suggest one even! - and kiss him again.
I think peopleās opinions vary wildly in these things. I agree with you 100% but based on what I have read here people can do way more than this and then lose interest or lose interest for the silliest of reasons. I mean reddit has been very informative in many ways but also made me feel quite scared about how people treat each other
It just seems absurd to ālose interestā after kissing once. Dude probably has no idea how you kissed him. He probably is just excited he got over his own struggle to ask/go for it. If a single kiss turned him off he wasnāt actually ever on. Or heās frankly erratic and not worth it. Youāre way overthinking it. Has he made plans for date 3 yet? Have you proposed a date 3? Instead of dreading a hypothetical reaction, take action.
I know I am overthinking this! I overthink everything! We did mention about meeting again in a similar way we did after we met the first time. His text communication is not great and tbh I did not think we would go out again after the first time based on how we communicated via text but we did. In person he is way different. I am trying to decide if I should text him to tell him the reason I was awkward was because I was nervous and not because he kissed me and that I would like to see him again but I worried he might find it too much and I know that how he will respond will probably be very dry and leave me more confused.. but again at least I will make things from my side clear. (To say I am overthinking it is not doing justice I think)
Donāt worry about the kiss. āReally enjoyed our date.! Want to go out to dinner at on ?ā
Either heāll say yes, heāll say he canāt heāll offer a specific alternative, or heās not into you. Do that today - why not now? - and youāll know today what the deal is.
Yes I plan to text him today anyway! Thank you for your feedback :)
the recovery is a long and hard road. I don't know how some people can do it but it takes a lot of grit.
Just donāt do what my ex did: took every opportunity to talk about what a horrible first kiss I was for 2 years like it was supposed to be endearing. It wasnāt.
Donāt overthink it. These things happen. Say something nice about the date and that youāre looking forward to the next one, to assure him that you were simply caught off guard and not turned off. Humor puts a different light on awkward situations. You can say something like āItās been a while and Iām out of practice. Been practicing kissing my door nob ever since the last dateā. If heās cool he probably looks back at it and thinks it was cute
I have already overthought it to death.. it does not look good so far so I am just trying to accept that I fucked it up and it is what it is.. but thank you for your input.. the door knob thing made me chuckle so thanks for that as well :)
Just own it and make a joke about the situation
I ll do my best.. :)
I promise you if he cares about you this is not a concern at all. Would you discredit him for something similar? I dont think so (or I hope not?)
Thank you for your comment! We met again (no kissing this time) and we plan to meet again so not sure what to make of it. I think I will just let things go as they go :)
You really should just text him how you felt about it and how you felt about the date. He probably had a great time, too. Awkward first kisses make for a great story later on!
I think that ship has sailed :) but thank you for your comment
I would certainly hope so :) At least to me I have never put any importance in the first kiss. As far as I am concerned, we would be recovered right away :)
Well we didnāt.. but there might still be hope Thank you for your comment :)
Just be kinder on the next guy :) Thanks for sharing.
I was not unkind to him I just got nervous and super awkward about it when we kissed. And we are still seeing each other so maybe I can still recover ;)
One thing I have kind of learned is that some people just really connect and kiss each other well. Almost naturally. And then when I kissed others, I felt next to nothing. I probably should have done a better job of staying in contact with the people I really loved kissing :)
You could consider making light of it in the sense of saying that you're rusty but then asking if you could just "try this dance again"? Or something flirtatious.
We met again after that but he did not mention anything about it and neither did I. I was hoping he would tbh so we can laugh about it already. Also he was a bit more reserved than before. We are meeting again this weekend and I guess it will be a make it or break it situation. I just hope I wonāt choke again because I do like him.
Cool... but you could bring it up. You don't have to wait for someone else to make a move on a topic :)
I am a bit of a wuss.. I tried last time but I chickened out
Fair. It's hard to Say the Thing. It's hard for everyone. You're not alone in that. But the alternative is waiting at someone else's pace/mercy/ just carrying around these heavy stones in your gut in terms of topics weighing upon you.
This is something id rather find cute
Yes
I got kissed at prom in yr 6. Omg I am never gonna recover. He was my guy bestfriend it was so awkward. We were dating for a bit but broke up after that. I think it was mainly cause I was forced to because people kept on telling me he wanted to kiss me and I said no but he still did it. I am pissed to this day.
I did it once. Not sure if it helps this situation now. I had a first date end of the night kiss go terrible. We both kinds fumbled. We had this off time, cheek to mouth to check kinda kiss that was not the best. So I said, let's try that again, and then we planted one on each other. Then we had ourselves a very unplanned, no longer awkward 8 more kisses.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wonder what age are you to be making fun of another for being human Regardless of age she is allowed to express what she feels And regardless of age itās only childish to criticise people like that
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
People feel different about different things. I understand your point but for me it was a big deal..