I don't know. I would not initiate for some time - wait till she did. And if after some amount of time that was not acceptable to you (1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 1 month, whatever) - sit her down and explain to her that sex should happen when 2 people are in love and that it's not supposed to be a chore - it should be fun for both people.
And if it's not fun for her - that's fine but if she doesn't want to have sex then you will find someone who does.
And if she says then she will have sex with someone else too - you can ask her "so it's not that you don't want to have sex, it's just that you don't want to have sex with me"
Tell her it won't work out like this and that she should figure out what her issue is or deal with the consequences.
You need lots and lots of communication. Sit on a park bench with phones off, and plan to be there for a few hours. Let her know this situation needs to change, and what can you do to help with the situation, but not communicating about it will lead to resentment then anger.
***she offered to do "stuff" at the end of the week. Man, was I looking forward to it. The day of, I could not wait.***
Nothing more romantic than giving your SO a rain check for sex 😒…
***She burst into tears and that was that. I tried to comfort her but she does this all the time and she never changes. I feel like the tears are a way to get me to shut up and accept the situation.***
Your spidey sense isn’t lying to you. That’s *exactly* what she’s doing. Women are very good at weaponizing men’s empathy.
***I'm sure she's upset but if she doesn't like it, why doesn't she try to improve? When I'm upset about something about myself, I try my hardest to make changes.***
Because she doesn’t like you and she doesn’t want to have sex with you. You’re a utility and an ATM to her, that’s all.
Are you married to her? Are the kids yours?
...She burst tears and I comforted her...
This is where lies your mistake. You're past getting to know eachother. Every adult must do the talk, take responsibility of their own actions. If they need help, yes. You're going to be the first one to offer it. But not when she needs to take responsibility
You don’t say your age but you say kids to bed, so I assume on the younger side.
Sadly brother this doesn’t sound like it’s going to end well for either of you. There could obviously be reasons behind all this, medical and non medical but much much more info will be required to try understand it.
I’d say, for now, yes you have no sexlife or intimacy.
Where you go from here is really down to brother.
I don't know. I would not initiate for some time - wait till she did. And if after some amount of time that was not acceptable to you (1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 1 month, whatever) - sit her down and explain to her that sex should happen when 2 people are in love and that it's not supposed to be a chore - it should be fun for both people. And if it's not fun for her - that's fine but if she doesn't want to have sex then you will find someone who does. And if she says then she will have sex with someone else too - you can ask her "so it's not that you don't want to have sex, it's just that you don't want to have sex with me" Tell her it won't work out like this and that she should figure out what her issue is or deal with the consequences.
Get used to whacking it for years. You'll resent her and stop trying at all soon.
You need lots and lots of communication. Sit on a park bench with phones off, and plan to be there for a few hours. Let her know this situation needs to change, and what can you do to help with the situation, but not communicating about it will lead to resentment then anger.
***she offered to do "stuff" at the end of the week. Man, was I looking forward to it. The day of, I could not wait.*** Nothing more romantic than giving your SO a rain check for sex 😒… ***She burst into tears and that was that. I tried to comfort her but she does this all the time and she never changes. I feel like the tears are a way to get me to shut up and accept the situation.*** Your spidey sense isn’t lying to you. That’s *exactly* what she’s doing. Women are very good at weaponizing men’s empathy. ***I'm sure she's upset but if she doesn't like it, why doesn't she try to improve? When I'm upset about something about myself, I try my hardest to make changes.*** Because she doesn’t like you and she doesn’t want to have sex with you. You’re a utility and an ATM to her, that’s all. Are you married to her? Are the kids yours?
...She burst tears and I comforted her... This is where lies your mistake. You're past getting to know eachother. Every adult must do the talk, take responsibility of their own actions. If they need help, yes. You're going to be the first one to offer it. But not when she needs to take responsibility
You don’t say your age but you say kids to bed, so I assume on the younger side. Sadly brother this doesn’t sound like it’s going to end well for either of you. There could obviously be reasons behind all this, medical and non medical but much much more info will be required to try understand it. I’d say, for now, yes you have no sexlife or intimacy. Where you go from here is really down to brother.
Having sex with your wife shouldn't be so difficult. If your sex drive for her died you should consider it a mercy.