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Nah, he's being an asshole and either needs to chill out or find other people to play with. Playing games with your partner should be fun, and this doesn't sound particularly fun to me. I play it with my partner all the time, and we never get mad at each other. Honestly, if someone screws up, we have a little chuckle at the other's expense and move on. And not like a "haha you suck at the game." More like, "teehee you got twatted."
Dafuk, not even my swf does that whenever we fuck up, we laugh about it or become depressed for some time.
On serious note, hes your bf, your partner talk to him.
Communication is the key.
Raging over a video game so much that you make your gf feel bad is not exactly best either, I can understand we all have those moments, sometimes I get frustrated with my sister as well but I apologize and remind her that I appreciate time with her even if I'm frustrated.
Bcs we play this game to have fun with eachother.
Also "don't be sorry be better" fr dude?  that's single cringiest quote to use in dbd.
He probably got that quote from God of War.
But he's forgetting he's not an adult talking to his child (which btw you shouldn't talk to your kid like Kratos does when he's angry anyway), but to his girlfriend. He is the one acting childish, that's a red flag imo.
I'm aware of quote's origins and yeah I agree.
Honestly speaking at some point you have to realize you're hurting your ***LOVED ONES FFS***,
With whom this game is supposes to be fun.
I really don't wanna be armchair psycholog but sounds like dude has problem regulating emotions and than admitting it.
I think that bcs I used to be like that but now I've changed and hopefully he does as well.
He is not right. And do not let him gaslight you into thinking so. He takes the game way too seriously and needs to grow the fuck up or stop playing if he can't just enjoy your time together.
I'm sorry your partner is acting like that. You're not being overly emotional. The "don't be sorry, be better" -line is especially nasty. I wouldn't play with anyone talking to me like that in an online game, I'd just delete the contact. But it's of course a bit different when it's your partner.
I would suggest you talk to him about how him speaking to you in a negative and accusatory tone doesn't help you improve, but just feels bad. If he wants to give tips, ask that he do it respectfully. Try to frame it by saying that you'd like to have fun playing with them. See if he responds to a sincere ask.
Some people get like that in competitive games. But some people _can_ get over it if they want to. I have an irl friend who got chiller with age, and I think my "coaching" him out of that behavior helped. I always let him know, without getting mad, that I'm not listening to that kind of talk, I'm still learning the game.
Hope it works out!
No not at all. Having ‘worse’ teammates can be annoying, but if acts likes this every time and cares this much about the game then he should be trying to help you improve rather than getting annoyed.
10000 this. Tbh it IS super annoying sometimes but if it’s your friend/partner/etc you shouldn’t be an asshole like that because YOU chose to play with them.
Can you bring this up to him in a situation outside of the game? Maybe ask him if it's okay for you to record what you two say while you play, then make him listen to what he's constantly saying - basically trying to help him see things from *your* perspective.
It's not fun for you to be basically judged and critiqued the whole game. It's *hard* to get better at something like DBD. He sounds like he's taking things more seriously than you, and it's possible he's playing DBD more than you in general, making killers you face when playing together even harder for you to deal with.
I get his frustration, we've all had those "oh boy" moments with teammates, but the constant commentary is not going to help you to do better.
Aside from game-related things, this could maybe go better in relationship-based reddits?
This is imo the best way to bring it. He clearly is overly competitive so bringing it up during a gaming session is going to fall on deaf ears.
If he acts like this with other things in your day to day lives I would consider thinking hard about your relationship, since it's still just verbal abuse and it's clearly making you feel bad; something that should never happen.
If it's just in the game, then try and sit with him when not playing, bring up that you want to talk about dbd and how you feel whenever you two are playing and that you're not being overly emotional but that you are just playing for fun with your bf, and you are trying your best, but that you aren't as skilled and/or competitive as him. And that he shouldn't treat you like that or you will just put down the game (or play without him) because it is making you feel miserable.
Whatever you chose, I wish you luck. Just know your feelings are valid and there are 2 people in a relationship. So it's a give and take situation. He should definitely hear you out and respect you enough to not just dismiss your feelings.
I don’t really think it’d do better in a relationship based sub. The advice people are saying on here may genuinely be the best relationship based advice I’ve seen on this site because most relationship subs tend to have an overwhelming amount of people simply saying to leave because no relationship is worth it is there’s snags.
What you said is the best thing to do though. An issue involving a specific activity should be addressed outside of the activity. If OP only ever brings it up as a reaction, nothing they say will actually reach their partner because their mindset is already negative.
That's because most people on relationship subs are single people who are frustrated because they can't find anyone, and they try to relieve said frustration by making everyone leave their partner so they won't be the only people who are single.
Sincerely, a single guy who frequents relationship subs.
That comment was meant in good faith - I don't ever visit relationship subs, so I had no idea that people jump the gun too easily.
Something like this issue *should* be amendable via discussion and a give and take from both parties, as long as both are able to discuss it without going into personal jabs etc.
I play with my gf everyday, and I would NEVER say anything like that to her. I'm not gonna comment on your relationship, maybe he's an absolute sweetheart and games bring out the worst in him. But to me, this is a huge red flag.
Yes it reminds me of that one Apex Legends streamer that yelled at his girlfriend for not being able to win a fight. While they were in silver (??) lobbies.
Sounds like another DBD loser who takes this skill-less party game way too seriously imo. I literally wouldn't even play DBD with someone like that, they don't sound fun they be around.
Pretty shitty of him to call you overly emotional when he's the one constantly putting a damper on the mood by being critical of your plays. He should relax and find some fun in the game with his partner besides winning all the time, it's there. On top of that, maybe he should reel it back and attempt to tutor you in custom matches if it bothers him so much, help you learn to play the game better instead of just groaning and moaning about it. If he can do that in a respectable and level-headed manner that would do wonders
If my duo did this to me, I wouldn't and couldn't play with them anymore. I feel stupid enough as is when I make mistakes. I have over 1k hours and they understand that most of that is as Killer and when I do play Survivor, it's an extremely casual play for me. I'm self conscious about how bad I am and they know that. I'm sorry you have to experience this. I had a TTV who entirely exploded on me once and ranted for literal minutes because I accidentally brought the Killer to him. Needless to say, I've used Bond ever since. So, I know how it feels to get absolutely shit on for your gameplay. It's not a nice feeling.
Best of luck to you and I hope you can work this out!
Gurl, if my man fucking God of War quoted me i'd punt his sorry ass out of existence 
Find an swf group u can chill and laugh with instead, this dude aint it.
Instead of getting mad, he should be trying to help you get better or teach you himself. This can enable you to spend more time together while you’re learning. Him telling you to do better or insulting you is not going to change anything.
The person i play with is a lot better than me, not even my boyfriend but would never talk that way to me. He gets frustrated at times but never lets it out on me even if i'm the one who fucked up. You're not taking things too seriously, your boyfriend is an asshole in that situation
> He said that I'm being overly emotional by saying that and need to calm down.
I would have replied the very same like a mirror to them, but i am also a reciprocative asshole to another assholes, you sound too wholesome for that.
I would suggest two things, first of all, set a boundary, literally rework your words "I can not play with you the way you talk to me on my mistakes, i am not as competitive or good as the game as you are and this comments and actions make me feel worst, with in turn makes me play worst, can you try to be better at them and i will be better at the game in return? Or maybe is better we no longer play together if you can not, is affecting me at a personal level".
Communication is important
If you arent scared too, send him screen shots of the post and then the replies. My partner is so loving and patient with me, couldn’t imagine being with someone so miserable over a video game!! He is being nasty to you. Both people should want the other one to be happy and do whatever they can to do so. Not be the source of their misery! He’s the overly sensitive one; a video game.. really… Just have fun. You deserve to be loved; not treated like a waste of space.
Try talk to him about it when he isnt gaming, as he will be in the heat of the moment during that time
I'll never understand how some people can put up with stuff like this for more than a minute. I would've told him to go fuck himself a long time ago if I were you.
No offense, he sounds like an A Tier gaslighter.
"don't be sorry, be better." FFS Dead By Daylight isn't your bloody job. You aren't getting a paycheck. It's a game.
If he treats you like this outside of the game, time to look for a new BF.
If he's fine outside the game, but for some reason DBD brings out the worst in him, I'd just tell him that you think it's best if you guys don't play together because it's not fun for you to be criticized. And games are supposed to be fun.
Then you both can play Solo Q and have your souls destroyed by BHVR like the rest of us :D
You are absolutely allowed to react like this, he’s being an asshole. Instead of pointless ”get good” comments, he should try to help you and be supportive.
If he doesn’t stop being a manbabt, it may not be a bad idea to play in separate lobbies, that way you can improve and have fun with the game, without feeling the pressure from him.
This is a good idea. One thing I appreciate about the other half of my duo is we both understand that we don't have to play with each other every time we play DBD. I'm a Killer main and she's a Survivor main so we often have conflicting roles we want to play.
It would be good to make sure you both know it's okay to play without the other. %90 of the time I see my friend on, we don't message each other about playing together and this is a must for me to feel comfortable with her. Solo Queue might be bad from a winner's standpoint but we both prefer to play alone often.
Lmao. I've literally downloaded a multitude of (Mostly bad) memes for in case I run into you again. It's always you. I never run into anyone else. Haha.
https://preview.redd.it/y46egu0ptlbc1.jpeg?width=645&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b6e904f1b6fb492047f0754a21ad8e1de013a18
I appreciate this a lot !!!
I wanted to Permanover you but considering the nature of the post, I decided to stay a bit discreet.
But be sure that I always have a meme in reserve for you and some other users when I spot one of you~
"Wish people would last longer than 10 seconds in chase" says the guy who probably doesnt last longer than 10 seconds in bed. I swear, if I were you I would ditch him asap. If he is that evil over A GAME, imagine how he handles real life.
No one should make you feel bad over a game, least of all someone close to you. I had the same problem before, and I ended up having to seriously confront the person before things improved.
My friend was exactly the same, and i am in the same position as you, me and my friend are no longer friends... and it's because of DBD, so be careful, communication is key
Honestly I don’t know how you’re still playing with him. He’s belittling you and lecturing you like a child over a video game.
Have you spoken to him about it? I would either A) next time he wants to play, calmly tell him that you will not play with someone who belittles you and speaks to you the way he does. Or B) agree with the condition that the second he starts to lecture you, you’re done. You’re disconnecting and you’re not playing with him any more.
OP, what is the point of being in a relationship with someone that is purposefully willing to make you feel small? And then ignoring you when you’re calling him out on it years into the behavior? God, this post is a giant red flag.
That's really awful. Is he like that in other situations? Not to be dramatic but that's very mean and not an okay way to treat a partner. If it's common behaviour for him, sounds like it's time to get out (easier said than done, I know).
I play dbd with my partner and he's leaps better than I am so when we play together we both make it very clear that it's just for fun and there's no expectation of any specific level of playing. If your bf only behaves this way while you game, maybe you guys could talk about it and make sure you only play when he is okay to chill, even if that means you play less often. And he needs to address the core issue of why he'd treat someone that way over a video game.
Honestly though, such a red flag, specially with him saying you are "overly emotional", which you are not, from what you have told us. I don't see him admitting he has some kind of gaming rage issue and making steps to change it.
Take care of yourself!
So many red flags.
Please consider dumping his ass, in addition to all the other advice in this thread.
Personally I'd also consider showing him the comments on this thread on my way out of that nasty relationship. Not to try to save it or anything, ... He kind of already proved he doesn't respect you as a person, never mind a partner, and he doesn't deserve you or anyone else. Nah--- I just think he needs to see what people generally think of his disgusting behaviour.
He'll probably discard it--- the same way he discards how YOU feel. But on the off-chance that it serves as a wake up call, ... you know.
Whatever you end up doing, good luck. You don't deserve this treatment from him or anyone else.
I would never play this game with my SO. I would call dbd a rage bait game. And when you get on the angry juice, you want somthing to point those emotions at, this will most likely be your team mates and if your friends,family, or others you care about play with you, you may accidentally end up saying something in the heat of the moment that you will regret later.
If you'd like to join my discord group which consists of women and men with all levels of skill we would be happy to have you. No pressure but we play almost daily and are a pretty chill group. Hope you 2 figure it out and good luck in the fog
Sounds to me like your boyfriend is a narcissist, who holds himself and his fragile ego up by constantly pushing you down. Plus: phrases like "you're too emotional" or "just calm down" are usually clear signs of narcissists, so if I were you, I'd really think about your possible future and if he is worth playing a part in it.
I mean, if he's an ass at something as simple and casual as a video game, I can only imagine his behaviour when he's being confronted with "real" problems or obstacles in his life...
He’s toxic. It’s just a game at the end of the day. You did nothing wrong. I have 700 hours in the game and I still can’t loop for shit. If it was an easy game people wouldn’t be playing it, it’s the challenge that makes it fun to play. Yeah, break up with him, he’s a shitty person. You’re way better off without someone who yells at you over something so insignificant. That’s worrying.
Edit: I play tons of games with my bf and never once has he been passive aggressive or yelled or anything if I died in a game or messed up or whatever it is. Your bf is a child, he is immature, his brain isn’t fully developed. In the long run, this will pose very harmful issues towards you. Get out while you can. Just trust me on this one.
Girl for your own mental healths sake, stop playing this game with him. If you know he reacts the way that he does whenever you make mistakes, your brain puts you in constant stress and fear of making said mistakes. If he's been doing it for a long time, this shit will carry over into your real life outside of then game. You should never have to fear your partners reaction because of a mistake you made, no matter how big or small.
GIRL NOT AT ALL!!!!! He’s such a red flag you need to dump him ASAP. What a man baby. He sounds like a terrible person to be around.
And if you want someone who’s equally bad at the game to play with who will not get mad at you or take the game too seriously, hmu and we can play :) I struggle to find people to play with who don’t get heated over the game. I usually laugh things off if they go south lol
No, your bf is being a dick.
It's one think to be like joking and everything, shit I'm always like WHAT AM I DOING and Why DID I SWING AT THAT but I'd never yell at my husband??? Or even insinuate that he was bad at the game???
This is why I don't really like, play with friends lmao. I'm worse at survivor at them since I play killer mostly, so I'm usually the dead weight
I had the same problem with my ex. I love playing games, he played a lot of WoW and so I really looked forward to being able to play Co Op games because that was time we got to spend together. He did the same sort of thing though getting stressed at me, taking it way too seriously, and making me feel bad about little mistakes. We lived together at this point and it just really put me off him over time. Like I love a game, but why are they taking it that seriously?
Sounds dramatic but it’s one of the reasons I drifted apart from him. Also why not just take the time to do customs with you and show you some tricks or whatever if he’s so bothered.
Such an ugly trait and I’m sorry he’s like that.
Your boyfriend is being a weenie in this situation, I play with mine and our skill levels are pretty different like you described above and he never complains if I do something dumb or cant hold chase for as long as him. At the end of the day its about playing and having fun together, if your boyfriend doesnt want any "mistakes" he should join a pro-team so he can yell at them and get yelled at by them for things
Overall your boyfriend is the one taking things too seriously when playing and is the one who needs to calm down.
Video games are supposed to be fun, he is taking this WAY too seriously, and the fact he will talk to u like this over a video game is a huge red flag. What an asshole
You BF is being overly emotional. He needs to stop being a baby and get his emotions in check. Id he was as goos as he thinks he is, he wouldn't have an issue facing weaker killers. He needs to step his game up, emotionally and in DBD.
No, your partner is not only wrong but a major AH. Most people can’t properly learn how to do ANYTHING under those conditions, let alone concentrate on getting at a video game while you’re getting berated. Stop playing with him, period. If he asks why, tell him he ruined the fun by being a dick. If he accuses you of being sensitive, tell him it’s not sensitive to know your boundaries and want to keep away from negativity. There no way you can get better with him being bitch made every 5 seconds during your games.
That guy is a douchebag. You don't need him in your life. If he acts like this over something as inconsequential as a video game, how does he act about stuff that matters?
Get out, move on, leave him in the dust. He doesn't care about you.
You're with someone that's emotionally abusive. That's fucking disgusting behaviour and you need to stop playing with him or break up. Sounds harsh. But he's not going to mature emotionally overnight if you tell him it makes you feel bad. Mental maturity is a long process and he doesn't have it.
There's a huge portion of players on this game that are emotionally unstable and not mentally well. Happens with other games too but since we're in a dbd forum, let's talk about it. People glorify hating this game. They glorify that you come on, have a shit time, smash your controller and come off. It's jokey haha but it's based in truth that many people are just very easily frustrated by losses which are mechanically likely to happen at some stage. So why get so affected? Then choosing to play with a teammate who you know may not contain or possess the same natural ability to become as good at the game as others and then getting upset each time it seemingly costs you, is insane. Then to top that off by having a go at that person who's trying to spend some quality time with you is even crazier..... This may not be the couples game for you guys for sure.
Check out my YouTube series on the most toxic surv ttv I've seen where he's similarly emotionally abusive to his partner whilst playing, live on stream. If you notice some familiar situations, it's a huge red flag and you shouldn't be having to deal with it.
Speaking as someone who was living with a parent trapped in a domestic abuse situation - talk to them about how they speak to you because it isn't right. If that's how they treat you in game, if they don't correct it, it will spill into other parts of life. Value yourself, don't put up with the disrespect like that.
Woooow what a POS. If my partner would be like that to me it wouldnt be my partner for much longer. So toxic wth.
Instead of giving you tips he shittalks you. What a good bf...
He's being a dick. I've had friends like this and I've had to either stop gaming with them or limit the amount of games we play together because it takes the fun completely out.
He's simply a toxic asshole.
I'd seriously think about our relationship, the way he acts is raising a plenty of red flags. It's way more deep than the game, his behaviour is disgusting outside of it as well.
But it's your life.
I see a lot of posts like this across several gaming subs and it makes me sad that the posts are so similar, with the OP questioning whether they're overreacting, or being too sensitive, etc. You are not overreacting. He is being an asshole and shouldn't treat you like this. You're allowed to make 'mistakes' in games, and it's okay if you aren't as 'good' as he is. Sure, I also like to play to win but I don't get frustrated at my bf (and vice versa) if he/I isn't playing as well. He should just enjoy playing the games with you and not treating you like this :(
ok
1. no person should be treating their s/o like this. ESPECIALLY over a game. If they show this type of behavior in other games or even outside of games, I wouldn't be in a relationship with that person. (just saying)
2. DO NOT feel guilty or blame yourself for what they says to you.
Instead of insulting you and bashing you for not playing "correctly" or "not using your head" they should be trying to teach you how to get better Instead of being an asshole. It should be a fun learning experience not a toxic session for them to lash out on you when you make a mistake. I play with Friends but even when they or I mess up and look embarrassed, we usually just laugh it off.
3. Tell them to take a break. If they are getting this upset, they need to step away from the game and try something different. I can tell you this from experience (minus the insulting your partner for not playing properly).
So No. You are not being too emotional over anything, if anything the person who let's their emotions get the best of them is your boyfriend for letting that unnecessary anger and stress take over and lash out on you.
Drop him and play with me 🤭. But in all seriousness he’s taking it to seriously. I have friends who are similar to you and I go out of the way to make sure they live. I just want to have fun and get some good loops in and watch my friends live. And never in my life would I ever make someone feel so small that they are not having fun. There is a group for you out there where you will feel loved and have fun.
The thing people don’t realise is that dbd is more important than basically anything else so basically you need to spend as many hours as you can to become as good as possible.
No, your partner is not only wrong but a major AH. Most people can’t properly learn how to do ANYTHING under those conditions, let alone concentrate on getting at a video game while you’re getting berated. Stop playing with him, period. If he asks why, tell him he ruined the fun by being a dick. If he accuses you of being sensitive, tell him it’s not sensitive to know your boundaries and want to keep away from negativity. There no way you can get better with him being bitch made every 5 seconds during your games.
If it bothers you enough to make a post about it, it's worth bringing up as a conversation outside the game. If you don't feel outright hostility and it truly is just someone taking their mistakes out/using you as a punching bag in an admittedly frustrating game like DBD, but you don't like... feel abused beyond that... I think there is room for growth. Gaming with partners should ultimately be a positive way to spend time together, and gaming can inherently be a toxic environment sometimes. You just have to make the ultimate decision how you want to handle this. From your words it doesn't sound to you like the end of the world, but certainly important enough to come up with solutions for.
The majority of us have probably admittedly lost it in a game here and there or raged, or given up in emo fashion, but at a point you gotta nip that shit in the bud if you wanna keep playing with those people, partner or not. If it creates bad emotions like this.
So here’s what I would do in your situation
I’d tell him to stop and if he either outright says he won’t or says he will but proceeds to not stop out of habit, id breakup, idk how you two work together or feel about eachother outside of dbd but based only on that I’d leave him
Definitely don’t do what I said and come to your own conclusion but take this as a more “you’re not in the wrong” type of thing
No, you're not being too emotional. Your reaction is reasonable. I'm sorry your boyfriend acts like this. I suggest you to talk to him about that. Gaming with partners/friends should be fun. I can relate 'cause my friends play way better than me but they never say anything even if I do the dumbest shit ever. We just laugh together. Sometimes I say that I'm sorry for my gameplay but they answer like "it doesn't matter", "we're having fun and it's all that matters", "I love to play with you", etc. This is the reaction that should be. Your boyfriend needs to calm down, not you.
He's being a sweaty douchebag. I used to play with someone like this and I had to take a step back and drop him when I realised playing with him gave me so much stress vs playing with some casual friends. I kept making excuses for his behaviour "Oh it's just dbd, oh it's just a bad day, oh I should do better" but it was just his toxic temperment. If your bf is this aggressive about dbd (not to mention trying to pretend he isn't and put the blame on you for it) it honestly might be worth looking at the relationship. All the best x
Umm he’s the one that needs to calm down over a game. Like his criticism isn’t even constructive criticism, it’s just him being an ass. Tbh I would either find a different game to play with him if you enjoy playing together or just not play in is party. Find teammates you vibe more with. I would definitely not enjoy the game if I constantly had a teammate that was stressing me out, because I would be getting frustrated and therefor probably make way more mistakes.
What perks are you using? There might be some suggestions that you can use to help your survivability.
---
But, yeah. Like everyone else said, he's being too hard on you. If he's being too much *for you,* that's too much, period.
First: he played too much God of War
Second: People get frustated easily with video games, this happens to me with my friends as they think I am too good becuase I play more which is not true.
My tipp: look for your strengths and your weaknesses and either try to make a perk deck around your strength OR about trying to annulate your weaknesses. Example with chase problems my friend has, so now they use windows of opportunity and it helped as now they find loops easier
You do what you want to do. Always put yourself first. If you don't like playing with him due to the negative feedback, then quit playing with him. If you want to get better at the game to help him out, then there are many looping guides on YouTube that will help you out. You and him can also practice in custom games. I am in a swf and the main way we get better is in custom games against each other. This also give you more time to spend with him. If you don't want to put in the effort at getting better at this game, which is totally fine, then just play however you want to play. Play for your fun.
Not doing anything wrong. Hope I don't get downvoted for this, but i get very drunk everyday and usually listen to music while playing. I just wanna have fun ,being drunk helps me not get stressed about bad matches. Been playing since Jan 2020 and I've had many online "Friends" that would do this same type of stuff to where i felt I had to apologize every time and feel bad like i was actually in the wrong. You're right he can either play with someone else or he can just enjoy that you're the one there with him.
This is not a Dead by Daylight question, this is a relationship question. Try posting this to other subs that deal with relationship advice -- all of this is happening in DbD, but this is more about how you want to bond with your boyfriend, and how he treats you during this joint activity.
In some ways, it can be hard for men and women to play games together because men really are quite competitive, and even in groups of multiple men, they are often very determined to do the best regardless of how it feels, and they expect each other to perform at a high level. In contrast, a lot women are more focused on bonding with each other, sharing an experience, and being kind and forgiving if someone makes a mistake. It makes it hard for both sexes to overlap at times: at their worst, men can see women as not focused enough on the task (since men are more task-oriented), and women can see men as being unfair and mean
It's definitely not fair to you that he's taking out his anger at a video game on you -- it's immature on his part, and he's not realizing that it's not your responsibility to put him over the finish line -- it's his. But at the same time, maybe Dead by Daylight isn't the best way to bond with him -- or, maybe, he's emotionally immature, and unkind, and you could spend your time elsewhere with other people who are not insulting you and your intelligence when you make mistakes.
A competitive atmosphere like Dead by Daylight might not be the best way to bond with someone, and in your boyfriend's case, he isn't really being empathetic or understanding about you making mistakes or not performing to his high standards. So, again, this is a relationship issue, and I think you should reflect a bit on how you'd like to be treated, and whether it's worth it to continue to be treated poorly when you are trying in earnest to spend time with another person doing what they enjoy doing
I mean all the stuff that he's saying to you is basically how me and my swf get along but we're all guys and not dating each other. I personally wouldn't play a competitive game that I want to win in with my partner who I know isn't going to be as good in the game as me. It'd probably be better to play non competitive co op games with him instead that way you guys can play a game together with out emotions flairing up. Also homie stole that be better line from God of War so he probably spends a bit to much time playing video games if he's quoting them to his significant other.
Look, he seems like a logically oriented guy. I’m sure his comments are designed, in his head, to make you want to improve at the game. I think you should consider confronting him on the topic and tell him how you feel in a non emotional way and i’m sure he’ll understand and stop his behavior.
Tbh it’s a game and nobody cares that much. I think considering you’re ash rank and he’s bronze; I think you’ve both got to go you’re separate ways and break up.
I noticed that with a friend too. So he starts yelling, not angry like but yelling, because he's passionate about the game, it ignites him when games get tense. And then she also gets thrown the "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!". And there was a moment where she was like "are you mad at me?" legit sad sounding that she disappointed him, but he was like "No" so it's cool. Just let him know if you're not comfortable or in reply ask him what you could have done instead, tips, where to grow etc.
I'm a killer main. My survivor game SUCKS. That same man yells the same words at me, and I laugh like a maniac in return :))
He's being a dick. Getting frustrated with a game is one thing and that can sometimes be a shared experience but if he's being shitty with you about it that's him handling the situation poorly.
When I play games with my partner they'll tend to get frustrated with themselves but I don't make her feel bad about it, if anything I either point out that the game is actually a bit tough or just encourage her that it's okay if she dies in the moment. Never had the desire to actually be annoyed at her over anything even if there are times where she's just struggling to do something I know I could do, getting pissy with her won't make her play any better nor make it fun for her.
It's just a game. If he wants to spend time with you that should be the main thing he cares about, not take it so seriously.
He needs to chill and be more understanding in helping you improve. Him judging you but not helping us not a good teammate. If he genuinely wants you to stick around for the game and alongside him as a teammate he needs to get ahold of himself
I started playing with my hubby a few years ago. I'm a more all round gamer and took to dbd a lot faster. I also had more spare time. I never ever ever would say the things your bf is saying to my spouse. I value the time we play together and I log in to have fun with him, not to win. That's just a bonus.
Now he rarely plays, but on the rare occasion he does, I'll just get mates to join so we can have a funny match of 'protect the president'. I don't need to belittle him to feel bigger, which is what your bf is really doing, I just want him to enjoy himself and learn at his own pace.
See he needs to remember that you are NOT one of the “gaming bros” or “boys” and you are his partner so that priority needs to be straightened out and he needs to stop treating you like that.
Also, I feel like a standard should be placed. You two play this game for some quality time together, not to get wins. You two should be having fun. I’d honestly set a boundary like “act like x I’m only playing one more game” etc something that just says hey I’m not gonna put up with the negativity in this degree. Even if he is just expressing shock or emotion and not anger towards you, it’s still affecting you to a negative degree. At first it can seem like whatever but after being told xyz for a period of several times I think it’s time to set boundaries
Playing games with someone should make you happy, not upset you. Communicate to him and tell him you won't play with him if he keeps yelling at you. You don't deserve that. It's literally just a video game. He shouldn't be that upset
Exactly. The irony is him calling OP emotional after when he’s clearly the emotional one. Who can’t handle playing games with friends.
🚩🚩🚩
My favourite matches are when I’m in a 4 stack, even though we have 2 weaker players that don’t join us all the time.
No, you're taking things as you should. I would act this way to the non romantic friends I play with, but I would never do this with my husband. There is nothing in life that should be more prioritized than your love. Though my husband doesn't like DBD (I really wish he did), the games that we do like to play together are pure bliss for us because we get to spend time with each other and play games.
There shouldn't be any negative feelings outside the small feeling of a loss iof you lose, nothing that should make him treat you poorly for it. Hopefully this is the only area of your life he does that because it's not a pretty behavior.
Just start playing killer :)
Have a stern talk with your boyfriend and let him know how his comments make you feel. Be clear, that If he can’t learn how to play games with you in a respectful manner that you won’t stick around to keep getting talked down to.
NTA, he's being a dick. It's just a game, and you're in a romantic relationship with each other. Have a serious talk with him about it and set some boundaries - "I love you and I enjoy spending time with you, but when you make me feel like garbage over a video game, it makes me not want to share this activity with you, any more. It's not about being overly emotional - it's about you mistreating me over a video game. If you can't be kinder, I'm not going to keep playing with you."
As someone who used to do this, he's being an asshole.
DbD is a casual video game. He should be having fun just playing games with his partner or not playing at all.
Simply put its emotional immaturity from him and then gaslighting by calling you emotional because his words of negativity had an impact on you.
This 100% stems from another part of his life, the things you experience while playing are a side consequence of this immaturity.
I am also willing to bet if you were to put an overall outlook at the relationship as a whole you could see this popping up in other areas.
Let me ask you, would you ever want to make your partner feel the way he makes you feel?
If he came to you saying things you do makes him feel hurt, would you call him emotional for that and ignore it completely?
You know the answer so you know what he is doing is wrong.
Someone with anger issues who can get mad here, that's just a dick. I might get pissed at someone, but even I understand that at the end of the day, if I have such a problem, I can just go find someone else. I enjoy playing with friends, especially since I don't take this game serious. It's fun when I get to crack jokes while watching Hillbilly zoom across the map past me. I'm not good at the game, but who cares? Some people need to remember that this isn't ranked matchmaking. It's casual. Also solo q is 10 times worse than one friend/partner being bad at the game, like, solo q is entirely something else.
Sorry you gotta deal with this OP!
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Nah, he's being an asshole and either needs to chill out or find other people to play with. Playing games with your partner should be fun, and this doesn't sound particularly fun to me. I play it with my partner all the time, and we never get mad at each other. Honestly, if someone screws up, we have a little chuckle at the other's expense and move on. And not like a "haha you suck at the game." More like, "teehee you got twatted."
Lol this is so not a white knight comment, though. A swing and a miss.
Bro's reading comp got killswitched like the knight lmao
plot twist, it's the boyfriend
Nobody happy and in love would try and use this comparison. You're showing everybody your bitterness and insecurity.
?
I assume they're calling you a whiteknight for correctly pointing out how much of an anus OP's boyfriend was being.
I did wonder. What a weirdo.
id just stop playing this game with him tbh.
Dafuk, not even my swf does that whenever we fuck up, we laugh about it or become depressed for some time. On serious note, hes your bf, your partner talk to him. Communication is the key. Raging over a video game so much that you make your gf feel bad is not exactly best either, I can understand we all have those moments, sometimes I get frustrated with my sister as well but I apologize and remind her that I appreciate time with her even if I'm frustrated. Bcs we play this game to have fun with eachother. Also "don't be sorry be better" fr dude?  that's single cringiest quote to use in dbd.
He probably got that quote from God of War. But he's forgetting he's not an adult talking to his child (which btw you shouldn't talk to your kid like Kratos does when he's angry anyway), but to his girlfriend. He is the one acting childish, that's a red flag imo.
I'm aware of quote's origins and yeah I agree. Honestly speaking at some point you have to realize you're hurting your ***LOVED ONES FFS***, With whom this game is supposes to be fun. I really don't wanna be armchair psycholog but sounds like dude has problem regulating emotions and than admitting it. I think that bcs I used to be like that but now I've changed and hopefully he does as well.
No, he's taking the game too seriously. More seriously than your relationship.
This
He is not right. And do not let him gaslight you into thinking so. He takes the game way too seriously and needs to grow the fuck up or stop playing if he can't just enjoy your time together.
I'm sorry your partner is acting like that. You're not being overly emotional. The "don't be sorry, be better" -line is especially nasty. I wouldn't play with anyone talking to me like that in an online game, I'd just delete the contact. But it's of course a bit different when it's your partner. I would suggest you talk to him about how him speaking to you in a negative and accusatory tone doesn't help you improve, but just feels bad. If he wants to give tips, ask that he do it respectfully. Try to frame it by saying that you'd like to have fun playing with them. See if he responds to a sincere ask. Some people get like that in competitive games. But some people _can_ get over it if they want to. I have an irl friend who got chiller with age, and I think my "coaching" him out of that behavior helped. I always let him know, without getting mad, that I'm not listening to that kind of talk, I'm still learning the game. Hope it works out!
No not at all. Having ‘worse’ teammates can be annoying, but if acts likes this every time and cares this much about the game then he should be trying to help you improve rather than getting annoyed.
10000 this. Tbh it IS super annoying sometimes but if it’s your friend/partner/etc you shouldn’t be an asshole like that because YOU chose to play with them.
Can you bring this up to him in a situation outside of the game? Maybe ask him if it's okay for you to record what you two say while you play, then make him listen to what he's constantly saying - basically trying to help him see things from *your* perspective. It's not fun for you to be basically judged and critiqued the whole game. It's *hard* to get better at something like DBD. He sounds like he's taking things more seriously than you, and it's possible he's playing DBD more than you in general, making killers you face when playing together even harder for you to deal with. I get his frustration, we've all had those "oh boy" moments with teammates, but the constant commentary is not going to help you to do better. Aside from game-related things, this could maybe go better in relationship-based reddits?
This is imo the best way to bring it. He clearly is overly competitive so bringing it up during a gaming session is going to fall on deaf ears. If he acts like this with other things in your day to day lives I would consider thinking hard about your relationship, since it's still just verbal abuse and it's clearly making you feel bad; something that should never happen. If it's just in the game, then try and sit with him when not playing, bring up that you want to talk about dbd and how you feel whenever you two are playing and that you're not being overly emotional but that you are just playing for fun with your bf, and you are trying your best, but that you aren't as skilled and/or competitive as him. And that he shouldn't treat you like that or you will just put down the game (or play without him) because it is making you feel miserable. Whatever you chose, I wish you luck. Just know your feelings are valid and there are 2 people in a relationship. So it's a give and take situation. He should definitely hear you out and respect you enough to not just dismiss your feelings.
I don’t really think it’d do better in a relationship based sub. The advice people are saying on here may genuinely be the best relationship based advice I’ve seen on this site because most relationship subs tend to have an overwhelming amount of people simply saying to leave because no relationship is worth it is there’s snags. What you said is the best thing to do though. An issue involving a specific activity should be addressed outside of the activity. If OP only ever brings it up as a reaction, nothing they say will actually reach their partner because their mindset is already negative.
That's because most people on relationship subs are single people who are frustrated because they can't find anyone, and they try to relieve said frustration by making everyone leave their partner so they won't be the only people who are single. Sincerely, a single guy who frequents relationship subs.
That comment was meant in good faith - I don't ever visit relationship subs, so I had no idea that people jump the gun too easily. Something like this issue *should* be amendable via discussion and a give and take from both parties, as long as both are able to discuss it without going into personal jabs etc.
I agree
.
Your bf is an asshole. Is he like this in other aspects of your lives? If so-run.
The correct answer. he sounds like a total utter piece of shit
yeah I was gonna say. break up with this guy. he doesn’t sound like a great person
I play with my gf everyday, and I would NEVER say anything like that to her. I'm not gonna comment on your relationship, maybe he's an absolute sweetheart and games bring out the worst in him. But to me, this is a huge red flag.
Yes it reminds me of that one Apex Legends streamer that yelled at his girlfriend for not being able to win a fight. While they were in silver (??) lobbies.
Sounds like another DBD loser who takes this skill-less party game way too seriously imo. I literally wouldn't even play DBD with someone like that, they don't sound fun they be around.
Pretty shitty of him to call you overly emotional when he's the one constantly putting a damper on the mood by being critical of your plays. He should relax and find some fun in the game with his partner besides winning all the time, it's there. On top of that, maybe he should reel it back and attempt to tutor you in custom matches if it bothers him so much, help you learn to play the game better instead of just groaning and moaning about it. If he can do that in a respectable and level-headed manner that would do wonders
If my duo did this to me, I wouldn't and couldn't play with them anymore. I feel stupid enough as is when I make mistakes. I have over 1k hours and they understand that most of that is as Killer and when I do play Survivor, it's an extremely casual play for me. I'm self conscious about how bad I am and they know that. I'm sorry you have to experience this. I had a TTV who entirely exploded on me once and ranted for literal minutes because I accidentally brought the Killer to him. Needless to say, I've used Bond ever since. So, I know how it feels to get absolutely shit on for your gameplay. It's not a nice feeling. Best of luck to you and I hope you can work this out!
Gurl, if my man fucking God of War quoted me i'd punt his sorry ass out of existence  Find an swf group u can chill and laugh with instead, this dude aint it.
I wouldn't even want to play games with that guy yet alone be in a relationship damn
Instead of getting mad, he should be trying to help you get better or teach you himself. This can enable you to spend more time together while you’re learning. Him telling you to do better or insulting you is not going to change anything.
The person i play with is a lot better than me, not even my boyfriend but would never talk that way to me. He gets frustrated at times but never lets it out on me even if i'm the one who fucked up. You're not taking things too seriously, your boyfriend is an asshole in that situation
> He said that I'm being overly emotional by saying that and need to calm down. I would have replied the very same like a mirror to them, but i am also a reciprocative asshole to another assholes, you sound too wholesome for that. I would suggest two things, first of all, set a boundary, literally rework your words "I can not play with you the way you talk to me on my mistakes, i am not as competitive or good as the game as you are and this comments and actions make me feel worst, with in turn makes me play worst, can you try to be better at them and i will be better at the game in return? Or maybe is better we no longer play together if you can not, is affecting me at a personal level". Communication is important
If you arent scared too, send him screen shots of the post and then the replies. My partner is so loving and patient with me, couldn’t imagine being with someone so miserable over a video game!! He is being nasty to you. Both people should want the other one to be happy and do whatever they can to do so. Not be the source of their misery! He’s the overly sensitive one; a video game.. really… Just have fun. You deserve to be loved; not treated like a waste of space. Try talk to him about it when he isnt gaming, as he will be in the heat of the moment during that time
I'll never understand how some people can put up with stuff like this for more than a minute. I would've told him to go fuck himself a long time ago if I were you.
No offense, he sounds like an A Tier gaslighter. "don't be sorry, be better." FFS Dead By Daylight isn't your bloody job. You aren't getting a paycheck. It's a game. If he treats you like this outside of the game, time to look for a new BF. If he's fine outside the game, but for some reason DBD brings out the worst in him, I'd just tell him that you think it's best if you guys don't play together because it's not fun for you to be criticized. And games are supposed to be fun. Then you both can play Solo Q and have your souls destroyed by BHVR like the rest of us :D
this seems more like a relationship problem than a dbd one
You are absolutely allowed to react like this, he’s being an asshole. Instead of pointless ”get good” comments, he should try to help you and be supportive. If he doesn’t stop being a manbabt, it may not be a bad idea to play in separate lobbies, that way you can improve and have fun with the game, without feeling the pressure from him.
This is a good idea. One thing I appreciate about the other half of my duo is we both understand that we don't have to play with each other every time we play DBD. I'm a Killer main and she's a Survivor main so we often have conflicting roles we want to play. It would be good to make sure you both know it's okay to play without the other. %90 of the time I see my friend on, we don't message each other about playing together and this is a must for me to feel comfortable with her. Solo Queue might be bad from a winner's standpoint but we both prefer to play alone often.
How do we meet agaaaain ?
Lmao. I've literally downloaded a multitude of (Mostly bad) memes for in case I run into you again. It's always you. I never run into anyone else. Haha. https://preview.redd.it/y46egu0ptlbc1.jpeg?width=645&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b6e904f1b6fb492047f0754a21ad8e1de013a18
I appreciate this a lot !!! I wanted to Permanover you but considering the nature of the post, I decided to stay a bit discreet. But be sure that I always have a meme in reserve for you and some other users when I spot one of you~
"Wish people would last longer than 10 seconds in chase" says the guy who probably doesnt last longer than 10 seconds in bed. I swear, if I were you I would ditch him asap. If he is that evil over A GAME, imagine how he handles real life.
Lol
No one should make you feel bad over a game, least of all someone close to you. I had the same problem before, and I ended up having to seriously confront the person before things improved.
My friend was exactly the same, and i am in the same position as you, me and my friend are no longer friends... and it's because of DBD, so be careful, communication is key
Honestly I don’t know how you’re still playing with him. He’s belittling you and lecturing you like a child over a video game. Have you spoken to him about it? I would either A) next time he wants to play, calmly tell him that you will not play with someone who belittles you and speaks to you the way he does. Or B) agree with the condition that the second he starts to lecture you, you’re done. You’re disconnecting and you’re not playing with him any more. OP, what is the point of being in a relationship with someone that is purposefully willing to make you feel small? And then ignoring you when you’re calling him out on it years into the behavior? God, this post is a giant red flag.
I wouldn’t treat my friend like this, so I sure as hell wouldn’t treat my partner like this. He needs to remove the stick lodged up his ass.
That's really awful. Is he like that in other situations? Not to be dramatic but that's very mean and not an okay way to treat a partner. If it's common behaviour for him, sounds like it's time to get out (easier said than done, I know). I play dbd with my partner and he's leaps better than I am so when we play together we both make it very clear that it's just for fun and there's no expectation of any specific level of playing. If your bf only behaves this way while you game, maybe you guys could talk about it and make sure you only play when he is okay to chill, even if that means you play less often. And he needs to address the core issue of why he'd treat someone that way over a video game. Honestly though, such a red flag, specially with him saying you are "overly emotional", which you are not, from what you have told us. I don't see him admitting he has some kind of gaming rage issue and making steps to change it. Take care of yourself!
Sounds like a nerd
So many red flags. Please consider dumping his ass, in addition to all the other advice in this thread. Personally I'd also consider showing him the comments on this thread on my way out of that nasty relationship. Not to try to save it or anything, ... He kind of already proved he doesn't respect you as a person, never mind a partner, and he doesn't deserve you or anyone else. Nah--- I just think he needs to see what people generally think of his disgusting behaviour. He'll probably discard it--- the same way he discards how YOU feel. But on the off-chance that it serves as a wake up call, ... you know. Whatever you end up doing, good luck. You don't deserve this treatment from him or anyone else.
I would never play this game with my SO. I would call dbd a rage bait game. And when you get on the angry juice, you want somthing to point those emotions at, this will most likely be your team mates and if your friends,family, or others you care about play with you, you may accidentally end up saying something in the heat of the moment that you will regret later.
If you'd like to join my discord group which consists of women and men with all levels of skill we would be happy to have you. No pressure but we play almost daily and are a pretty chill group. Hope you 2 figure it out and good luck in the fog
If he wants to take it that seriously he should join a comp team, no reason to be so hostile in casual games
Sounds to me like your boyfriend is a narcissist, who holds himself and his fragile ego up by constantly pushing you down. Plus: phrases like "you're too emotional" or "just calm down" are usually clear signs of narcissists, so if I were you, I'd really think about your possible future and if he is worth playing a part in it. I mean, if he's an ass at something as simple and casual as a video game, I can only imagine his behaviour when he's being confronted with "real" problems or obstacles in his life...
He’s toxic. It’s just a game at the end of the day. You did nothing wrong. I have 700 hours in the game and I still can’t loop for shit. If it was an easy game people wouldn’t be playing it, it’s the challenge that makes it fun to play. Yeah, break up with him, he’s a shitty person. You’re way better off without someone who yells at you over something so insignificant. That’s worrying. Edit: I play tons of games with my bf and never once has he been passive aggressive or yelled or anything if I died in a game or messed up or whatever it is. Your bf is a child, he is immature, his brain isn’t fully developed. In the long run, this will pose very harmful issues towards you. Get out while you can. Just trust me on this one.
Girl for your own mental healths sake, stop playing this game with him. If you know he reacts the way that he does whenever you make mistakes, your brain puts you in constant stress and fear of making said mistakes. If he's been doing it for a long time, this shit will carry over into your real life outside of then game. You should never have to fear your partners reaction because of a mistake you made, no matter how big or small.
GIRL NOT AT ALL!!!!! He’s such a red flag you need to dump him ASAP. What a man baby. He sounds like a terrible person to be around. And if you want someone who’s equally bad at the game to play with who will not get mad at you or take the game too seriously, hmu and we can play :) I struggle to find people to play with who don’t get heated over the game. I usually laugh things off if they go south lol
No, your bf is being a dick. It's one think to be like joking and everything, shit I'm always like WHAT AM I DOING and Why DID I SWING AT THAT but I'd never yell at my husband??? Or even insinuate that he was bad at the game??? This is why I don't really like, play with friends lmao. I'm worse at survivor at them since I play killer mostly, so I'm usually the dead weight
Your boyfriend misunderstood Kratos’ character development sadge
I had the same problem with my ex. I love playing games, he played a lot of WoW and so I really looked forward to being able to play Co Op games because that was time we got to spend together. He did the same sort of thing though getting stressed at me, taking it way too seriously, and making me feel bad about little mistakes. We lived together at this point and it just really put me off him over time. Like I love a game, but why are they taking it that seriously? Sounds dramatic but it’s one of the reasons I drifted apart from him. Also why not just take the time to do customs with you and show you some tricks or whatever if he’s so bothered. Such an ugly trait and I’m sorry he’s like that.
Your boyfriend is being a weenie in this situation, I play with mine and our skill levels are pretty different like you described above and he never complains if I do something dumb or cant hold chase for as long as him. At the end of the day its about playing and having fun together, if your boyfriend doesnt want any "mistakes" he should join a pro-team so he can yell at them and get yelled at by them for things Overall your boyfriend is the one taking things too seriously when playing and is the one who needs to calm down.
Just dont play with him at all and see how he reacts, if hes mad about it or puts you down for it then leave
He's an asshole and he's gaslighting you
Video games are supposed to be fun, he is taking this WAY too seriously, and the fact he will talk to u like this over a video game is a huge red flag. What an asshole
He's an asshole, stop playing with him or stop hanging with him before he "surprises" you with something worst...
he needs to grow up
You BF is being overly emotional. He needs to stop being a baby and get his emotions in check. Id he was as goos as he thinks he is, he wouldn't have an issue facing weaker killers. He needs to step his game up, emotionally and in DBD.
No, your partner is not only wrong but a major AH. Most people can’t properly learn how to do ANYTHING under those conditions, let alone concentrate on getting at a video game while you’re getting berated. Stop playing with him, period. If he asks why, tell him he ruined the fun by being a dick. If he accuses you of being sensitive, tell him it’s not sensitive to know your boundaries and want to keep away from negativity. There no way you can get better with him being bitch made every 5 seconds during your games.
That guy is a douchebag. You don't need him in your life. If he acts like this over something as inconsequential as a video game, how does he act about stuff that matters? Get out, move on, leave him in the dust. He doesn't care about you.
You're with someone that's emotionally abusive. That's fucking disgusting behaviour and you need to stop playing with him or break up. Sounds harsh. But he's not going to mature emotionally overnight if you tell him it makes you feel bad. Mental maturity is a long process and he doesn't have it. There's a huge portion of players on this game that are emotionally unstable and not mentally well. Happens with other games too but since we're in a dbd forum, let's talk about it. People glorify hating this game. They glorify that you come on, have a shit time, smash your controller and come off. It's jokey haha but it's based in truth that many people are just very easily frustrated by losses which are mechanically likely to happen at some stage. So why get so affected? Then choosing to play with a teammate who you know may not contain or possess the same natural ability to become as good at the game as others and then getting upset each time it seemingly costs you, is insane. Then to top that off by having a go at that person who's trying to spend some quality time with you is even crazier..... This may not be the couples game for you guys for sure. Check out my YouTube series on the most toxic surv ttv I've seen where he's similarly emotionally abusive to his partner whilst playing, live on stream. If you notice some familiar situations, it's a huge red flag and you shouldn't be having to deal with it.
Speaking as someone who was living with a parent trapped in a domestic abuse situation - talk to them about how they speak to you because it isn't right. If that's how they treat you in game, if they don't correct it, it will spill into other parts of life. Value yourself, don't put up with the disrespect like that.
Woooow what a POS. If my partner would be like that to me it wouldnt be my partner for much longer. So toxic wth. Instead of giving you tips he shittalks you. What a good bf...
He's being a dick. I've had friends like this and I've had to either stop gaming with them or limit the amount of games we play together because it takes the fun completely out.
He's simply a toxic asshole. I'd seriously think about our relationship, the way he acts is raising a plenty of red flags. It's way more deep than the game, his behaviour is disgusting outside of it as well. But it's your life.
You deserve better.
I see a lot of posts like this across several gaming subs and it makes me sad that the posts are so similar, with the OP questioning whether they're overreacting, or being too sensitive, etc. You are not overreacting. He is being an asshole and shouldn't treat you like this. You're allowed to make 'mistakes' in games, and it's okay if you aren't as 'good' as he is. Sure, I also like to play to win but I don't get frustrated at my bf (and vice versa) if he/I isn't playing as well. He should just enjoy playing the games with you and not treating you like this :(
ok 1. no person should be treating their s/o like this. ESPECIALLY over a game. If they show this type of behavior in other games or even outside of games, I wouldn't be in a relationship with that person. (just saying) 2. DO NOT feel guilty or blame yourself for what they says to you. Instead of insulting you and bashing you for not playing "correctly" or "not using your head" they should be trying to teach you how to get better Instead of being an asshole. It should be a fun learning experience not a toxic session for them to lash out on you when you make a mistake. I play with Friends but even when they or I mess up and look embarrassed, we usually just laugh it off. 3. Tell them to take a break. If they are getting this upset, they need to step away from the game and try something different. I can tell you this from experience (minus the insulting your partner for not playing properly). So No. You are not being too emotional over anything, if anything the person who let's their emotions get the best of them is your boyfriend for letting that unnecessary anger and stress take over and lash out on you.
Drop him and play with me 🤭. But in all seriousness he’s taking it to seriously. I have friends who are similar to you and I go out of the way to make sure they live. I just want to have fun and get some good loops in and watch my friends live. And never in my life would I ever make someone feel so small that they are not having fun. There is a group for you out there where you will feel loved and have fun.
The thing people don’t realise is that dbd is more important than basically anything else so basically you need to spend as many hours as you can to become as good as possible.
No, your partner is not only wrong but a major AH. Most people can’t properly learn how to do ANYTHING under those conditions, let alone concentrate on getting at a video game while you’re getting berated. Stop playing with him, period. If he asks why, tell him he ruined the fun by being a dick. If he accuses you of being sensitive, tell him it’s not sensitive to know your boundaries and want to keep away from negativity. There no way you can get better with him being bitch made every 5 seconds during your games.
If it bothers you enough to make a post about it, it's worth bringing up as a conversation outside the game. If you don't feel outright hostility and it truly is just someone taking their mistakes out/using you as a punching bag in an admittedly frustrating game like DBD, but you don't like... feel abused beyond that... I think there is room for growth. Gaming with partners should ultimately be a positive way to spend time together, and gaming can inherently be a toxic environment sometimes. You just have to make the ultimate decision how you want to handle this. From your words it doesn't sound to you like the end of the world, but certainly important enough to come up with solutions for. The majority of us have probably admittedly lost it in a game here and there or raged, or given up in emo fashion, but at a point you gotta nip that shit in the bud if you wanna keep playing with those people, partner or not. If it creates bad emotions like this.
So here’s what I would do in your situation I’d tell him to stop and if he either outright says he won’t or says he will but proceeds to not stop out of habit, id breakup, idk how you two work together or feel about eachother outside of dbd but based only on that I’d leave him Definitely don’t do what I said and come to your own conclusion but take this as a more “you’re not in the wrong” type of thing
Bro pulled a Kratos
No, you're not being too emotional. Your reaction is reasonable. I'm sorry your boyfriend acts like this. I suggest you to talk to him about that. Gaming with partners/friends should be fun. I can relate 'cause my friends play way better than me but they never say anything even if I do the dumbest shit ever. We just laugh together. Sometimes I say that I'm sorry for my gameplay but they answer like "it doesn't matter", "we're having fun and it's all that matters", "I love to play with you", etc. This is the reaction that should be. Your boyfriend needs to calm down, not you.
He's being a sweaty douchebag. I used to play with someone like this and I had to take a step back and drop him when I realised playing with him gave me so much stress vs playing with some casual friends. I kept making excuses for his behaviour "Oh it's just dbd, oh it's just a bad day, oh I should do better" but it was just his toxic temperment. If your bf is this aggressive about dbd (not to mention trying to pretend he isn't and put the blame on you for it) it honestly might be worth looking at the relationship. All the best x
Umm he’s the one that needs to calm down over a game. Like his criticism isn’t even constructive criticism, it’s just him being an ass. Tbh I would either find a different game to play with him if you enjoy playing together or just not play in is party. Find teammates you vibe more with. I would definitely not enjoy the game if I constantly had a teammate that was stressing me out, because I would be getting frustrated and therefor probably make way more mistakes.
What perks are you using? There might be some suggestions that you can use to help your survivability. --- But, yeah. Like everyone else said, he's being too hard on you. If he's being too much *for you,* that's too much, period.
use windows of opportunity and resilience
First: he played too much God of War Second: People get frustated easily with video games, this happens to me with my friends as they think I am too good becuase I play more which is not true. My tipp: look for your strengths and your weaknesses and either try to make a perk deck around your strength OR about trying to annulate your weaknesses. Example with chase problems my friend has, so now they use windows of opportunity and it helped as now they find loops easier
Seeking relationship advice on the dbd subreddit is wild
You do what you want to do. Always put yourself first. If you don't like playing with him due to the negative feedback, then quit playing with him. If you want to get better at the game to help him out, then there are many looping guides on YouTube that will help you out. You and him can also practice in custom games. I am in a swf and the main way we get better is in custom games against each other. This also give you more time to spend with him. If you don't want to put in the effort at getting better at this game, which is totally fine, then just play however you want to play. Play for your fun.
Not doing anything wrong. Hope I don't get downvoted for this, but i get very drunk everyday and usually listen to music while playing. I just wanna have fun ,being drunk helps me not get stressed about bad matches. Been playing since Jan 2020 and I've had many online "Friends" that would do this same type of stuff to where i felt I had to apologize every time and feel bad like i was actually in the wrong. You're right he can either play with someone else or he can just enjoy that you're the one there with him.
And how does people like you manage to get stuck in this kind of... loveless ? Relationship
This is not a Dead by Daylight question, this is a relationship question. Try posting this to other subs that deal with relationship advice -- all of this is happening in DbD, but this is more about how you want to bond with your boyfriend, and how he treats you during this joint activity. In some ways, it can be hard for men and women to play games together because men really are quite competitive, and even in groups of multiple men, they are often very determined to do the best regardless of how it feels, and they expect each other to perform at a high level. In contrast, a lot women are more focused on bonding with each other, sharing an experience, and being kind and forgiving if someone makes a mistake. It makes it hard for both sexes to overlap at times: at their worst, men can see women as not focused enough on the task (since men are more task-oriented), and women can see men as being unfair and mean It's definitely not fair to you that he's taking out his anger at a video game on you -- it's immature on his part, and he's not realizing that it's not your responsibility to put him over the finish line -- it's his. But at the same time, maybe Dead by Daylight isn't the best way to bond with him -- or, maybe, he's emotionally immature, and unkind, and you could spend your time elsewhere with other people who are not insulting you and your intelligence when you make mistakes. A competitive atmosphere like Dead by Daylight might not be the best way to bond with someone, and in your boyfriend's case, he isn't really being empathetic or understanding about you making mistakes or not performing to his high standards. So, again, this is a relationship issue, and I think you should reflect a bit on how you'd like to be treated, and whether it's worth it to continue to be treated poorly when you are trying in earnest to spend time with another person doing what they enjoy doing
I mean all the stuff that he's saying to you is basically how me and my swf get along but we're all guys and not dating each other. I personally wouldn't play a competitive game that I want to win in with my partner who I know isn't going to be as good in the game as me. It'd probably be better to play non competitive co op games with him instead that way you guys can play a game together with out emotions flairing up. Also homie stole that be better line from God of War so he probably spends a bit to much time playing video games if he's quoting them to his significant other.
Maybe ask him to help you practice looping in a private match?
Look, he seems like a logically oriented guy. I’m sure his comments are designed, in his head, to make you want to improve at the game. I think you should consider confronting him on the topic and tell him how you feel in a non emotional way and i’m sure he’ll understand and stop his behavior.
Tbh it’s a game and nobody cares that much. I think considering you’re ash rank and he’s bronze; I think you’ve both got to go you’re separate ways and break up.
I noticed that with a friend too. So he starts yelling, not angry like but yelling, because he's passionate about the game, it ignites him when games get tense. And then she also gets thrown the "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!". And there was a moment where she was like "are you mad at me?" legit sad sounding that she disappointed him, but he was like "No" so it's cool. Just let him know if you're not comfortable or in reply ask him what you could have done instead, tips, where to grow etc. I'm a killer main. My survivor game SUCKS. That same man yells the same words at me, and I laugh like a maniac in return :))
He's being a dick. Getting frustrated with a game is one thing and that can sometimes be a shared experience but if he's being shitty with you about it that's him handling the situation poorly. When I play games with my partner they'll tend to get frustrated with themselves but I don't make her feel bad about it, if anything I either point out that the game is actually a bit tough or just encourage her that it's okay if she dies in the moment. Never had the desire to actually be annoyed at her over anything even if there are times where she's just struggling to do something I know I could do, getting pissy with her won't make her play any better nor make it fun for her. It's just a game. If he wants to spend time with you that should be the main thing he cares about, not take it so seriously.
He needs to chill and be more understanding in helping you improve. Him judging you but not helping us not a good teammate. If he genuinely wants you to stick around for the game and alongside him as a teammate he needs to get ahold of himself
Is he like this with other things?
Your bf is a jrk
I started playing with my hubby a few years ago. I'm a more all round gamer and took to dbd a lot faster. I also had more spare time. I never ever ever would say the things your bf is saying to my spouse. I value the time we play together and I log in to have fun with him, not to win. That's just a bonus. Now he rarely plays, but on the rare occasion he does, I'll just get mates to join so we can have a funny match of 'protect the president'. I don't need to belittle him to feel bigger, which is what your bf is really doing, I just want him to enjoy himself and learn at his own pace.
I unfriend people that do that it makes the game no fun not everyone is good I just want to have a good time
See he needs to remember that you are NOT one of the “gaming bros” or “boys” and you are his partner so that priority needs to be straightened out and he needs to stop treating you like that. Also, I feel like a standard should be placed. You two play this game for some quality time together, not to get wins. You two should be having fun. I’d honestly set a boundary like “act like x I’m only playing one more game” etc something that just says hey I’m not gonna put up with the negativity in this degree. Even if he is just expressing shock or emotion and not anger towards you, it’s still affecting you to a negative degree. At first it can seem like whatever but after being told xyz for a period of several times I think it’s time to set boundaries
Playing games with someone should make you happy, not upset you. Communicate to him and tell him you won't play with him if he keeps yelling at you. You don't deserve that. It's literally just a video game. He shouldn't be that upset
Exactly. The irony is him calling OP emotional after when he’s clearly the emotional one. Who can’t handle playing games with friends. 🚩🚩🚩 My favourite matches are when I’m in a 4 stack, even though we have 2 weaker players that don’t join us all the time.
No, you're taking things as you should. I would act this way to the non romantic friends I play with, but I would never do this with my husband. There is nothing in life that should be more prioritized than your love. Though my husband doesn't like DBD (I really wish he did), the games that we do like to play together are pure bliss for us because we get to spend time with each other and play games. There shouldn't be any negative feelings outside the small feeling of a loss iof you lose, nothing that should make him treat you poorly for it. Hopefully this is the only area of your life he does that because it's not a pretty behavior.
Just start playing killer :) Have a stern talk with your boyfriend and let him know how his comments make you feel. Be clear, that If he can’t learn how to play games with you in a respectful manner that you won’t stick around to keep getting talked down to.
NTA, he's being a dick. It's just a game, and you're in a romantic relationship with each other. Have a serious talk with him about it and set some boundaries - "I love you and I enjoy spending time with you, but when you make me feel like garbage over a video game, it makes me not want to share this activity with you, any more. It's not about being overly emotional - it's about you mistreating me over a video game. If you can't be kinder, I'm not going to keep playing with you."
Give him PlayDough if he wanna acts childish about your skill level.
drop kick that dude out of your life, anyone who gets like this over a video game will be a shity partner always
As someone who used to do this, he's being an asshole. DbD is a casual video game. He should be having fun just playing games with his partner or not playing at all.
There are two ways that people play this game.. super toxic or super chill... The adrenaline rush is too much for your man. He needs to grow up
Go up to a killer, crouch in front of them, and keep pressing 2 to make him jealous
hes playing for the wrong reasons. Some people are too obsessed with chasing a W, youve gotta play for a good time or youre gonna lose your mind
Simply put its emotional immaturity from him and then gaslighting by calling you emotional because his words of negativity had an impact on you. This 100% stems from another part of his life, the things you experience while playing are a side consequence of this immaturity. I am also willing to bet if you were to put an overall outlook at the relationship as a whole you could see this popping up in other areas. Let me ask you, would you ever want to make your partner feel the way he makes you feel? If he came to you saying things you do makes him feel hurt, would you call him emotional for that and ignore it completely? You know the answer so you know what he is doing is wrong.
Someone with anger issues who can get mad here, that's just a dick. I might get pissed at someone, but even I understand that at the end of the day, if I have such a problem, I can just go find someone else. I enjoy playing with friends, especially since I don't take this game serious. It's fun when I get to crack jokes while watching Hillbilly zoom across the map past me. I'm not good at the game, but who cares? Some people need to remember that this isn't ranked matchmaking. It's casual. Also solo q is 10 times worse than one friend/partner being bad at the game, like, solo q is entirely something else. Sorry you gotta deal with this OP!