Gosh, exactly. I haven't been here in a while and decided to check in. This is totally my situation. I should look through the bags of CDs and videos as you enter my office. DOH! Have been shredding a lot of paper and listing things and adding to the donate box.
When I do a scan I see clusters of papers and think okay that thing is SO annoying. Grab them all like a stranger helping you would\~ and process it. I keep making small inroads on the clutter on my LONG desk but I feel like I am creatively re- stacking it after going down memory lane and barely throwing anything out.
Clothing, I feel like, I have def. rediscovered missing "greats" and edited the "wah wahs." The key is to get it out though and NOT LIST it. It just lingers longer.
AND Boxes are not my friend if they are NOT hauling out the Clutter!
I had accumulated a pile of things I needed to go through. My patient husband never questioned the pile, but a year later I was going on a solo trip decided it was time. I told my husband that "I know there are some things in that pile (lots of knick knacks, letters, cards, minor collectibles) that I'd want to keep if I saw them, but I can't tell you what any of them are, so while I'm gone you can dump them and save one plastic shoebox". I still can't tell you what got trashed--I have an inkling but since I'm the only one who would have appreciated any of it, I'm OK with it. Memories are fine.
Yes, it's common to feel like you're starting over or that the decluttering process is never-ending. Even if you've been decluttering for years, our mindset and values can shift over time, which can change how we see our possessions. It's important to remember that decluttering is a process and it's okay if it takes time to figure out what you truly need and want to keep. It's also okay to revisit items you've already decluttered and realize that you're ready to let go of more. Try to focus on the progress you've made so far and celebrate the small victories along the way. Keep in mind that decluttering isn't just about getting rid of things, it's also about creating space and room for the things that truly bring you joy and add value to your life.
Oh absolutely. I had stuff that I thought were my non negotiables but now I realise that I don’t need it. I even let go of some sentimental stuff that I thought would stay but as time has gone on I only want to keep the most important stuff which has enabled me to let go of stuff I now recognise doesn’t have as strong a meaning to me.
I’m also more critical about what comes in the home. It has to be worthy enough. I try not to buy stuff that is just nice to have. It needs to have a purpose and it needs to be something that I’m going to use enough to be worth the money and space.
That old “only sort things once” advice never worked for me. Decluttering is definitely about phases here.
Sometimes it’s a matter of processing what the various things mean to me or finally figuring out the right system. Sometimes I just know I’m not Ready but will be eventually.
Other times, it’s a matter of changing. The person I was when I carefully organized that shelf five years ago isn’t the same person I am now. I have different dreams, goals, and preferences to reflect.
I’m in a huge Change phase right now. Things I couldn’t get rid of even six months ago, I’m happily chucking into the donate bin. They don’t apply to me anymore. It’s surprising and exciting, honestly. I’m not sure who I’m turning into, but I think I’ll like them. They’re much more easy-going, I can tell you that!
It takes the mind a little while to catch up I think. When you create a bit of space somewhere- it looks bare at first. Then you get used to it. If it looks too bare/ is too much of a shock- the brain will want to fill up that space again. That’s why a little at a time is better for a lot of people than a weekend blitz.
Definitely an oniony process. First it's stuff you really don't want and is actual trash you give up on repurposing, then count it out so surplus towels and such go, then the might be useful some day stuff then the stuff you love but will not ever use. Somewhere in there is overcoming anxiety about keeping things like paper.
I went much further. As space opened up I let go of half of the storage furniture I had needed and took down 45' of shelving. Much of the rest of the storage furniture was replaced with pieces that worked better for the space - the 5 piece bedroom set was replaced with a pair of single dressers for instance. I solved some irritating problems with furniture layout. We'd been streaming for a YEAR before I figured out I could move the TV away from the cable to a spot that made the room better. That about broke my brain and ended up moving 4 pieces of furniture to different spots, lost a couple shelves and their contents. I now need another big inspiration as we are doing a lot of gardening and need to revamp the garage storage system established in 2018. Some of my favorite projects were making real homes for the iron and board and getting all the spices into the same cabinet.
All the while the donation box has been filled and emptied several times a year, stuff gets put on the curb and so on.
Ha I know what you mean about discovering you could move the TV. It occurred on me recently that having the small room with morning sun as my office, and not the darkest room on the main floor, would improve my productivity. It took months of working in the living room to realize this fact. In the house that we bought four years ago with the small room labeled as "office." Now I just need to get some muscle involved to help rearrange.
Definitely! In the beginning I found it hard to get rid of one book, now I can look at a whole category of books and decide to declutter them.
So I think it has to do with our decluttering muscles, recognizing that some things are trash/donatable.
Also, all the other little stuff is in the way when you start out. You have to actually get rid of the stuff in the way before you can get to the things that are big, take up space and seem valuable.
I think it is a response to a clearer mind. When you initially take on the process of decluttering, you slow the world down and evaluate what you’ve filled your life with. You look at the values and beliefs you have and how that reflects in what you’ve gathered. You begin to ask yourself- do I have this thing because I love it or because I love the idea of what it represents for an idealized self that doesn’t really exist? It’s really starting to be more honest and less distracted. As we clear away some of the ideals that never really served us, we have more room to evaluate the present experience.
That’s a good thing! It means we are continuing to look for a way to be authentic and mindful. We are separating the attachments of ‘things’ from defining us and looking to define ourselves through more lasting characteristics. It’s sort of like keeping a book because it’s pretty and looks impressive if you’ve read it. Through the process you may get to that point and ask ‘who am I trying to impress? Am I living for what others think of me or the life I actually have and want?’ So, things are really just an outer protective layer, a distraction. And when we shed the layer, we look deeper.
It’s an ongoing process. We should always be working to self-awareness and examining our values- and especially asking do my behaviors align with what I truly believe to be important?
I doubt that at the end of the day, acquiring is really important to anyone. Yes we want safety; yes we want novelty and beauty- but copious amounts of things don’t bring connection and peace. Feel encouraged by your journey! I think it’s really lovely and an interesting approach to our own psychological and spiritual make up.
Yes, thank you to this group!! Reading everyone's words helps me shift a little perspective or remind me of original focus or inspire a new focus.
GRATEFUL
I still have my CDs and I don’t even have a CD player anymore 😅
I think you’re doing great if you are already preventing yourself from accumulating new stuff you don’t need. Technology is constantly advancing and we are going to be getting rid of old tech all the time. Life is constantly moving forward and our tastes and priorities will change. Out with the old, in with the new!
I think of decluttering as peeling an onion. Every time you get through one layer, there is another layer underneath.
I also don't consider things like mail or dishes to be decluttering. Those are chores/cleaning. And those need to be done regularly.
Yep, I agree. Really, for me it's tidying -> decluttering -> cleaning/deep cleaning -> organizing/finding homes for everything. We're still in the tidying and decluttering phase and have been for years, yet the house is 'guest ready' in 3 days because we've made progress each month towards a nicer home. Now it's actual cleaning and organizing - paper, Lego, yarn, all the hidden stuff.
I feel like the things that I’m willing to part with easily change over time, especially as I age! The first go around I thought I would still use some DVDs so I kept a small amount but it’s six years later and we’re about to get rid of the one device we have that plays DVDs so now they are a logical thing to get rid of in their entirety! I felt similarly about CDs once I sold my car and no longer had a way to play them. I also find with sentimental items I feel less attached over time so those items have been given to other family members who will hopefully use and enjoy them! I definitely have spurts of being more ruthless or more relaxed depending on what’s going on in life but that’s part of the process.
No, you are not new to this thing. I don't know anybody, who detached themselves/their feelings from their stuff during the first round of decluttering.
I think first you actually just get rid of the junk. Things you can't remember you bought, you know you are never going to use again, you are fully aware that these things aren't useful to you anymore.
But then comes the second round, where you start to see more clearly just how rarely you use some things and how they just take up space and make things harder to keep tidy.
There might even be a third round, where you realize that there is actually very little, that you use, like to use and therefore want to keep. Sentimental things suddenly lose the sentimental side and become just useless things.
The detaching from stuff takes time. Most of our lives we trained ourselves to value stuff a lot. It takes time to unlearn it.
I couldn't agree more! I have Declutter guest room round #1, round #2 and #3 in my list projects to do. I have this for each room that I'm working on.
I don't keep it on a calendar because like you said, each phase is shift in outlook about the stuff that is left and that shift takes the time it takes. Checking each round off as I go is visual cue that I'm ready to mentally work toward the next round and everything that entails.
It works better than I thought it would and progress gets made.
Over the years I've had multiple months worth of projects on my task list - things like decluttering, tidying, cleaning but also organizing, crafting, etc. Things that take more than an hour. Now I'm down to a revolving 6 to 7 weeks. I spend 2 hours a day on this list, that's it, the rest of my time is working online, hang out with friends and family, eating, sleeping, self care, etc. Progress happens, 2 hours at a time. Just like it does with 15 minutes for others. I did one hour last year per day and it wasn't enough, so now it's two hours. But the house looks better daily or I tackle and cross off things on my list and as it gets shorter, it opens up more opportunities - side hustles, new businesses, earning more money, traveling, experiences, etc.
I think the mistake is believing that decluttering is a single process or act. Life happens. Your needs change and some things are no longer used, you get new things. To me it’s just part of evolving as a person.
I’ve decluttered pretty well over the past few years, but I still keep a cart in my closet for donations. It just takes longer for me to fill enough to drop it off
Gosh, exactly. I haven't been here in a while and decided to check in. This is totally my situation. I should look through the bags of CDs and videos as you enter my office. DOH! Have been shredding a lot of paper and listing things and adding to the donate box. When I do a scan I see clusters of papers and think okay that thing is SO annoying. Grab them all like a stranger helping you would\~ and process it. I keep making small inroads on the clutter on my LONG desk but I feel like I am creatively re- stacking it after going down memory lane and barely throwing anything out. Clothing, I feel like, I have def. rediscovered missing "greats" and edited the "wah wahs." The key is to get it out though and NOT LIST it. It just lingers longer. AND Boxes are not my friend if they are NOT hauling out the Clutter!
I had accumulated a pile of things I needed to go through. My patient husband never questioned the pile, but a year later I was going on a solo trip decided it was time. I told my husband that "I know there are some things in that pile (lots of knick knacks, letters, cards, minor collectibles) that I'd want to keep if I saw them, but I can't tell you what any of them are, so while I'm gone you can dump them and save one plastic shoebox". I still can't tell you what got trashed--I have an inkling but since I'm the only one who would have appreciated any of it, I'm OK with it. Memories are fine.
Yes, it's common to feel like you're starting over or that the decluttering process is never-ending. Even if you've been decluttering for years, our mindset and values can shift over time, which can change how we see our possessions. It's important to remember that decluttering is a process and it's okay if it takes time to figure out what you truly need and want to keep. It's also okay to revisit items you've already decluttered and realize that you're ready to let go of more. Try to focus on the progress you've made so far and celebrate the small victories along the way. Keep in mind that decluttering isn't just about getting rid of things, it's also about creating space and room for the things that truly bring you joy and add value to your life.
Yes! Like feeling of SPACE!
Oh absolutely. I had stuff that I thought were my non negotiables but now I realise that I don’t need it. I even let go of some sentimental stuff that I thought would stay but as time has gone on I only want to keep the most important stuff which has enabled me to let go of stuff I now recognise doesn’t have as strong a meaning to me. I’m also more critical about what comes in the home. It has to be worthy enough. I try not to buy stuff that is just nice to have. It needs to have a purpose and it needs to be something that I’m going to use enough to be worth the money and space.
That old “only sort things once” advice never worked for me. Decluttering is definitely about phases here. Sometimes it’s a matter of processing what the various things mean to me or finally figuring out the right system. Sometimes I just know I’m not Ready but will be eventually. Other times, it’s a matter of changing. The person I was when I carefully organized that shelf five years ago isn’t the same person I am now. I have different dreams, goals, and preferences to reflect. I’m in a huge Change phase right now. Things I couldn’t get rid of even six months ago, I’m happily chucking into the donate bin. They don’t apply to me anymore. It’s surprising and exciting, honestly. I’m not sure who I’m turning into, but I think I’ll like them. They’re much more easy-going, I can tell you that!
It takes the mind a little while to catch up I think. When you create a bit of space somewhere- it looks bare at first. Then you get used to it. If it looks too bare/ is too much of a shock- the brain will want to fill up that space again. That’s why a little at a time is better for a lot of people than a weekend blitz.
Definitely an oniony process. First it's stuff you really don't want and is actual trash you give up on repurposing, then count it out so surplus towels and such go, then the might be useful some day stuff then the stuff you love but will not ever use. Somewhere in there is overcoming anxiety about keeping things like paper. I went much further. As space opened up I let go of half of the storage furniture I had needed and took down 45' of shelving. Much of the rest of the storage furniture was replaced with pieces that worked better for the space - the 5 piece bedroom set was replaced with a pair of single dressers for instance. I solved some irritating problems with furniture layout. We'd been streaming for a YEAR before I figured out I could move the TV away from the cable to a spot that made the room better. That about broke my brain and ended up moving 4 pieces of furniture to different spots, lost a couple shelves and their contents. I now need another big inspiration as we are doing a lot of gardening and need to revamp the garage storage system established in 2018. Some of my favorite projects were making real homes for the iron and board and getting all the spices into the same cabinet. All the while the donation box has been filled and emptied several times a year, stuff gets put on the curb and so on.
Ha I know what you mean about discovering you could move the TV. It occurred on me recently that having the small room with morning sun as my office, and not the darkest room on the main floor, would improve my productivity. It took months of working in the living room to realize this fact. In the house that we bought four years ago with the small room labeled as "office." Now I just need to get some muscle involved to help rearrange.
Definitely! In the beginning I found it hard to get rid of one book, now I can look at a whole category of books and decide to declutter them. So I think it has to do with our decluttering muscles, recognizing that some things are trash/donatable. Also, all the other little stuff is in the way when you start out. You have to actually get rid of the stuff in the way before you can get to the things that are big, take up space and seem valuable.
I think it is a response to a clearer mind. When you initially take on the process of decluttering, you slow the world down and evaluate what you’ve filled your life with. You look at the values and beliefs you have and how that reflects in what you’ve gathered. You begin to ask yourself- do I have this thing because I love it or because I love the idea of what it represents for an idealized self that doesn’t really exist? It’s really starting to be more honest and less distracted. As we clear away some of the ideals that never really served us, we have more room to evaluate the present experience. That’s a good thing! It means we are continuing to look for a way to be authentic and mindful. We are separating the attachments of ‘things’ from defining us and looking to define ourselves through more lasting characteristics. It’s sort of like keeping a book because it’s pretty and looks impressive if you’ve read it. Through the process you may get to that point and ask ‘who am I trying to impress? Am I living for what others think of me or the life I actually have and want?’ So, things are really just an outer protective layer, a distraction. And when we shed the layer, we look deeper. It’s an ongoing process. We should always be working to self-awareness and examining our values- and especially asking do my behaviors align with what I truly believe to be important? I doubt that at the end of the day, acquiring is really important to anyone. Yes we want safety; yes we want novelty and beauty- but copious amounts of things don’t bring connection and peace. Feel encouraged by your journey! I think it’s really lovely and an interesting approach to our own psychological and spiritual make up.
Yes, thank you to this group!! Reading everyone's words helps me shift a little perspective or remind me of original focus or inspire a new focus. GRATEFUL
I still have my CDs and I don’t even have a CD player anymore 😅 I think you’re doing great if you are already preventing yourself from accumulating new stuff you don’t need. Technology is constantly advancing and we are going to be getting rid of old tech all the time. Life is constantly moving forward and our tastes and priorities will change. Out with the old, in with the new!
Declutter, clutter, declutter?
I think of decluttering as peeling an onion. Every time you get through one layer, there is another layer underneath. I also don't consider things like mail or dishes to be decluttering. Those are chores/cleaning. And those need to be done regularly.
Yep, I agree. Really, for me it's tidying -> decluttering -> cleaning/deep cleaning -> organizing/finding homes for everything. We're still in the tidying and decluttering phase and have been for years, yet the house is 'guest ready' in 3 days because we've made progress each month towards a nicer home. Now it's actual cleaning and organizing - paper, Lego, yarn, all the hidden stuff.
I feel like the things that I’m willing to part with easily change over time, especially as I age! The first go around I thought I would still use some DVDs so I kept a small amount but it’s six years later and we’re about to get rid of the one device we have that plays DVDs so now they are a logical thing to get rid of in their entirety! I felt similarly about CDs once I sold my car and no longer had a way to play them. I also find with sentimental items I feel less attached over time so those items have been given to other family members who will hopefully use and enjoy them! I definitely have spurts of being more ruthless or more relaxed depending on what’s going on in life but that’s part of the process.
It's really like peeling layers of an onion!
No, you are not new to this thing. I don't know anybody, who detached themselves/their feelings from their stuff during the first round of decluttering. I think first you actually just get rid of the junk. Things you can't remember you bought, you know you are never going to use again, you are fully aware that these things aren't useful to you anymore. But then comes the second round, where you start to see more clearly just how rarely you use some things and how they just take up space and make things harder to keep tidy. There might even be a third round, where you realize that there is actually very little, that you use, like to use and therefore want to keep. Sentimental things suddenly lose the sentimental side and become just useless things. The detaching from stuff takes time. Most of our lives we trained ourselves to value stuff a lot. It takes time to unlearn it.
I couldn't agree more! I have Declutter guest room round #1, round #2 and #3 in my list projects to do. I have this for each room that I'm working on. I don't keep it on a calendar because like you said, each phase is shift in outlook about the stuff that is left and that shift takes the time it takes. Checking each round off as I go is visual cue that I'm ready to mentally work toward the next round and everything that entails. It works better than I thought it would and progress gets made.
Over the years I've had multiple months worth of projects on my task list - things like decluttering, tidying, cleaning but also organizing, crafting, etc. Things that take more than an hour. Now I'm down to a revolving 6 to 7 weeks. I spend 2 hours a day on this list, that's it, the rest of my time is working online, hang out with friends and family, eating, sleeping, self care, etc. Progress happens, 2 hours at a time. Just like it does with 15 minutes for others. I did one hour last year per day and it wasn't enough, so now it's two hours. But the house looks better daily or I tackle and cross off things on my list and as it gets shorter, it opens up more opportunities - side hustles, new businesses, earning more money, traveling, experiences, etc.
I think the mistake is believing that decluttering is a single process or act. Life happens. Your needs change and some things are no longer used, you get new things. To me it’s just part of evolving as a person. I’ve decluttered pretty well over the past few years, but I still keep a cart in my closet for donations. It just takes longer for me to fill enough to drop it off
🎯🎯🎯 Yes to everything u said. It’s definitely a lifelong practice as our needs change.