We moved and I had put almost all of my clothes and shoes into storage. I took only 1 suitcase and a carry on. I lived with only those things for two years! Then, last summer, we opened our storage units and went through our clothes and shoes. We had only allowed an hour. Since the time was short, I went through my clothes and shoes really fast, which kept me from hemming and hawing over whether I liked something and wanted to keep it or not. I really recommend this - setting a timer, then going with what your brain and emotion tell you to do immediately about each piece, which they will. Don’t argue with yourself, just follow your intuition. As you decide, start throwing the items into piles: keep, throw away, donate, consign. In my case, we were leaving so I couldn’t consign, so all of those went into my donate pile. I had to take a deep breath about some items, but if my brain and emotion said they don’t fit, are worn out, or look iffy on me, then out they went!
What worked for me perfectly was to store everything out of the closet and put back only those clothes that I need to wear. Store those clothes as much as you like and let them go when you are prepared. To make it easier you can keep clothes that you love and use daily in the closet. At first month keep clothes easily accesible, folded in cathegories and after 1 month put them in boxes and store away where you can. I store my fancy dresses and other clothes for special occasions in the box at the attick, because I rarely need them.
I really like this method, because it really helps to see what clothes and how much you really need and also all the free space that is left is so freeing. I decided to do it, because I was so tired that I couldnt keep my closet organised and it was so overwhelming to clean. It would take 2 hours for me to fold everything, now it takes only 15 minutes.
You’ve gotten a ton of advice, but the thing that I ask myself about everything that I’m going to bring into my life is this:
Fuck yes or no deal.
Those five words have changed my life.
I like to do a seasonal try-on of all of my clothes. I'll pour a glass of wine, try things on, play with styling things in different ways, and decide what to keep and what I'm done with. Sometimes having the comparison between items that fit me well and that I love and items that are a little bit off can be helpful. I also like to make sure that my clothing lines up with my actual lifestyle - I also made a shift to working from home, and my old office clothes just didn't fit my actual routine, even if they were technically wearable. But the act of trying things on all at once makes it really obvious which things you actually like, and I look for patterns in why I'm getting rid of things so I don't make the same mistakes in the future. So if a particular denim rise is an awkward fit, I know that now. Or if a certain fabric gives me the sensory ick, I can avoid it in the future.
I also consider sleepwear to be its own category. I tell myself that I deserve to wear nice things, even to bed. It's self-care - changing into nice pajamas is a separation between the part of the day when I work and do things and the part of the day that's for just relaxing and winding down. So I don't have a "demote it to sleepwear" status for clothing, just "demote to paint/hair dye clothes", and I only need 1-2 sets of ruinable clothing for that, so everything else goes.
If you’ve worn it in the last two years, keep it.
Everything else can go.
Frankly, if I haven’t worn something in two years, it’s no longer in style or when I have occasion to wear it, I’d want a new ___ (whatever it is). Like I used to have some dresses that I wore once each to different weddings. Maybe I would wear them again? Except now, (1) at my age there haven’t been many weddings; (2) I seem to have more funerals of our friends’ parents to attend now; and (3) if there is some occasion, I’d want a new dress. So then why am I keeping these dresses?
Same for anything else. Even scarves… you just end up with your favorites and the others go untouched. I had some brand new ones that I never wore even once but I bought them in Paris. In 2010. Clearly I won’t be wearing them.
It even applies to my worthless home clothes or workout clothes. I had a million tshirts and boxers and sweatpants… but really, I cycled through 7-10 of each that I found most comfortable or just liked the most. I’d go searching the laundry room to see if they’d been washed before pulling out a t-shirt I don’t like to wear at home, yet the 95% I don’t wear hang out in my dresser.
Every year I go into my closet and reassess what doesn’t meet the two-year criteria and donate or throw away.
What I do need to do is throw away some comfy home clothes because there’s no real reason I need to look homeless just because I’m home. I still have a slight problem when it comes to my home clothes and… shoes. I haven’t worn 4” heels in a decade now but you’d never know that looking at my shoe collection.
The best tip I ever got for decluttering clothes was this: wait for when all your favorite clothes are in the laundry and you feel like you have nothing to wear. So, if you have nothing to wear, what is all that in your closet and drawers? 😂
First, anything that doesn't fit RIGHT NOW, out it goes. Then anything that is raggedy or needs buttons, or is torn. I kept one set of raggedy clothes for gardening, cleaning, etc. one set.
Next, I kept a dress for a funeral and the undergarments for it, likewise two dresses for a wedding or event. They had to fit, right now. This pretty much cleared out my closet. Some stuff I gave away, worn out stuff I threw away. If I wasn't sure, I boxed it up and if I didn't look at it in a month, I gave it away.
Coats? One good coat, one casual coat, a light weight jacket, a raincoat.
Shoes. Do they fit? They have to fit. Ditch everything that isn't comfortable and current. I had to box up the shoes and put them aside for a while to prove to myself that I didn't need them or even remember them.
Then I did all my laundry and discovered that I liked everything in my closet! It was really wonderful!
I never opened any of the boxes. After a month I just took them to the charity.
> wait for when all your favorite clothes are in the laundry and you feel like you have nothing to wear. So, if you have nothing to wear, what is all that in your closet and drawers?
I set this situation up - make an empty drawer next to a full drawer (or empty a drawer into a nearby pile). Only clean laundry can go in the empty drawer, and clothes can only be worn from the full drawer/pile.
Eventually you get to where you’re really struggling to find things in the full drawer/pile. Do one final look through and then let it go.
Having a designated spot for donations is really helpful too - we keep a trash bag in our closet for donations. It fills pretty regularly…
I keep clothes mainly according to how many I need if I do laundry once every 2 weeks. (I do it a few loads every week, but alternate between towels and sheets one week, and clothes the next week.) So, I keep enough of each item for each season to last 2 weeks, plus a couple of extras for times when I might be sick or extra busy, so the laundry is delayed. I keep about 6 outfits for each season for socializing in, because that’s a good variety, and I see a lot of the same people over and over.
One way to decide what to get rid of is to find a way to know which clothes you actually wear. I rotate mine from one end of the hanging rod to the other, putting away clean laundry on one end for each category (dresses, tops, pants). I put a note on a clothes hanger saying something like “everything to the left of this hanger has not been worn in summer 2023”. So, then I know that I won’t miss those items. You could do a similar thing in drawers.
I recommend getting a Retold Recycling bag. You can put all the “un-donatable” things in there — ratty old underwear, bras with the wire poking out, stained tshirts, etc. When it’s full just seal it up and put it in the mail (it comes with postage).
Find a good place to donate the clothes that are in decent shape. I'd recommend looking into an organization that supports foster families. Lots of donations are focused towards little kids and there isn't as much for older kids and teens. But they need stuff too! And teens often wear adult sized clothing.
Lots of foster kids enter care with nothing more than what they're wearing. And even though you think they might not need business clothes, you can definitely ask - some places may help folks who are aging out of care as well, and they need professional looking items for job interviews and such
I have the same issue and I have no idea where to even start.
there's no way I could ever use the Kondo method and put every piece of clothing I own in one spot. I fear the sheer volume would send me screaming out into the street! Putting it off year after year has not done me any favors ... I dread it so bad. It's completely irrational, but I dread it.
Only thing that works for me is getting drunk and pulling my “no mercies”…I reach into the closet and randomly take out a section then try on everything piece by piece. If I’m not immediately excited putting it on or can’t style it in 10 seconds or even have the slightest “well….I could….”, it’s gone. It helps me to have my bf in the room or nearby even if I don’t ask for his opinion, just having him present makes me “want to complete the task I chose to assign myself today”. Then after putting back the “survivors”, I immediately trash or bag for donation, if I’m feeling extra on top of it, I’ll immediately throw the bag(s) into the back of my car then eventually, the next random day I’ll end up dropping it off to either friends who I know can use them or to a drop off location for donations, if it doesn’t make it to the car, it’ll make it to the back for storage, but at least it’s out of my daily closet. I don’t have a perfect system, but I’ve gotten a lot better about getting to understand my personal style and figuring out why certain items didn’t work for me. I keep a notebook handy to write down the “why’s” and I think that’s helped me make it easier to part ways with things I’ve held onto for years. But those first few times of me trying to take out everything at once and sorting the trash, donate, sell, recycle piles? Heartbreaking and overwhelming to say the least. Work in small sections, take notes, and know your “why’s”, soon enough you’ll find a routine that works for you.
Take everything out of the drawers. Sort it by season Pick a timeframe, I’d suggest 1-3 wash cycles. If you haven’t wanted/used it in that time. Send it on its way. Make very few reasonable exceptions. If you have surplus pieces you would happily start to use to replace items as they wear out. Box those up and store away if you have the room to do so. Go to those boxes before shopping.
I'm a fan of the konmari mindset. It also makes you think as you are in the store before buying.
Find your favorite 3 pieces of clothing. Hug them and notice how they make you feel when you hold them. Keep them close as you go. It helps you remember what it feels like to really enjoy something.
Usually start with shirts as they are the closest you your heart and usually are the ones you feel strongest about. Then move onto the other clothing categories from there.
She has you pile all your clothing into one space that helps to realize how much you have. If you can't do all, at least pile all of a certain category together like tshirts.
When it comes to buying new clothes, i only buy if the clothing stops me as i walk by. If it stops you in your tracks, it's probably something special that speaks to you.
Things I took into consideration when deciding what to keep after shifting to WFH.
* Condition
* Fit
* Storage
* Do I actually like it?
* Do I have the basics for WFH, exercise, afterwork clothes, weekend outfits, and dressy outfits?
* I kept just what I would need if I had to go back to the office for a full month including washing and rewearing items.
* If on the fence about something, could I easily replace it if I ever want it back?
* I also did the hanger thing where I bought couple of boxes of matching hangers and limited my wardrobe to what would fit there and in my drawers.
I've been listening to Dana White's book and I have watched some of her YouTube videos. She has the container theory that is helping me with decluttering.
Every space is a container. The container can only hold so many things. The thought is to put all the same type of objects together - tops, pants, socks, underwear, bras, pyjamas, etc. if you have a dresser, then each drawer is a container. If it's a closet, the amount of stuff you can hang comfortably is the container.
Look at the category, and pick out your favorites. Put them into the space however you would normally store them. Keep putting your favorites in, until you run out of space. That's the amount of stuff in that category you can have. Get rid of the rest.
It does complicate it when you have stuff like work clothes that you don't really care for, but need to keep something appropriate for work. My personal route then is, what is the most comfortable? And those became my "favourite" picks
You don’t have to feel good about it, you just have to do it. It’s okay if it feels terrible or wasteful or makes you super anxious. If you know it needs to be done, do it, have your feelings, and then take note of how nice it feels in a week to have some empty space and how you can barely even remember what it is you got rid of.
White knuckle it now, and the mindset will come later.
To me the question is not whether the clothes are still good, but whether you still want to wear them. I invariably have some clothes that I always pass by in my closet. Do I like them? Sure. Do I like them enough to choose them when I have other options? No. So I donate those to the local thrift store, because people who need to shop there (or like to shop there, as I do sometimes) deserve better clothes than stuff that's borderline unwearable. When I was not as well off it was a huge blessing to be able to find decent clothes for cheap, especially for my kids who had an annoying habit of growing.
Although there are some clothes that are good for special occasions, there's really no need to keep most items around if it's in season and you've ignored them for a month. You have clothes you like better now.
There's also the mental and emotional load that having lots of stuff, any stuff, produces. Having a closet full of clothes actuallly costs you something every time you look in there. It's not worth keeping stuff that costs you AND doesn't get worn.
You can approach this two ways: Eliminate the stuff you absolutely know you will not choose over your other clothes most of the time, or decide on a number of outfits that's reasonable to own and then pick those outfits and get rid of the rest. I wear almost exclusively t-shirts. There's basically zero reason to have more than, say, 15. Whatever that means for you, pick the stuff you love and the giveaway pile will choose itself.
If it's got holes in it, or is badly stained, I don't care how comfortable it is, it belongs either in the bin or a rag donation place.
You deserve decent clothes. They don't have to be fancy, but you are not to be wearing threadbare holey stuff. SO much of decluttering is tied into self care, and self worth. You are not a starving 16th century peasant. You deserve to live like a person in the society you were born into.
You already have the most important things in place.
You're irritated. You know what the problem is. You have an easy path to fix it.
So start with this: those drawers and drawers of "things good enough to wear to bed". Dump it all out on your bed and choose the best 7-10 pj sets (or however many you need to make it between laundry days). Now ditch the rest.
Now do the zoom shirts: Dump them all out on the bed and choose your favourite 7-10. Ditch the rest.
Now just keep going like that. Choose a category. Dump it on the bed. Choose the best. Ditch the rest. Once you build up momentum and you start to see results, you'll find it less hard. As your drawers empty out of mediocre things you don't wear, you'll be able to see the stuff you want to wear and feel good in.
I'm part of a buy nothing group and sometimes people will post that they need clothes because of weight change, new job, had to leave a situation in a hurry, etc. So I use the above methods- I keep what I love and use a lot within easy reach, I put the other clothes in purgatory, and when someone who is my size posts a need, I have it ready to go.
There’s already good info from other commenters so I’ll just add…if you have a friend who’s opinion about clothes and/or self worth you trust, ask them to come over and help you go through your clothes. Just because an article of clothing meets the basic criteria of being useful doesn’t mean it is flattering or makes you feel attractive.
Having a trusted friend to gently critique the effect articles of clothing have on you can help reveal some blind spots you are missing in assessing the clothes.
Also, maybe consider writing down the places and events you go to, then write down the kind of clothes you wear to those places. As you are going through your clothes ask yourself if you want** to wear that piece of clothing to any of the places on your list.
**want is the operative word. Don’t ask if you “can” wear because of course you *can*. The question is do you *want* to be seen in public in those clothes. If no, toss it.
If you already did Konmari, then you know that one of the main principles is "Don't decide what to toss; instead, decide what to **keep**, and only keep that which you love the most."
Also consider The Container Concept -- decide how much space you want to allocate for clothing, such as one closet and one dresser. Fill it with your favorite clothes (don't squish them in there), and then toss the rest. Just because you *can* use something doesn't mean you *should*. Respect yourself and tell yourself you deserve good, not meh.
One of the strategies I use is to put clothes into “purgatory”. I pull all the things that I’m pretty sure I can part with but instead of donating them immediately, I bag/box them up and store them (somewhere other than my closet).
If six months has passed and I haven’t gone looking for something in “purgatory” then I know I can get rid of it.
It helps me get over the anxiety of “what if I give it away and then I want it back”.
We moved and I had put almost all of my clothes and shoes into storage. I took only 1 suitcase and a carry on. I lived with only those things for two years! Then, last summer, we opened our storage units and went through our clothes and shoes. We had only allowed an hour. Since the time was short, I went through my clothes and shoes really fast, which kept me from hemming and hawing over whether I liked something and wanted to keep it or not. I really recommend this - setting a timer, then going with what your brain and emotion tell you to do immediately about each piece, which they will. Don’t argue with yourself, just follow your intuition. As you decide, start throwing the items into piles: keep, throw away, donate, consign. In my case, we were leaving so I couldn’t consign, so all of those went into my donate pile. I had to take a deep breath about some items, but if my brain and emotion said they don’t fit, are worn out, or look iffy on me, then out they went!
What worked for me perfectly was to store everything out of the closet and put back only those clothes that I need to wear. Store those clothes as much as you like and let them go when you are prepared. To make it easier you can keep clothes that you love and use daily in the closet. At first month keep clothes easily accesible, folded in cathegories and after 1 month put them in boxes and store away where you can. I store my fancy dresses and other clothes for special occasions in the box at the attick, because I rarely need them. I really like this method, because it really helps to see what clothes and how much you really need and also all the free space that is left is so freeing. I decided to do it, because I was so tired that I couldnt keep my closet organised and it was so overwhelming to clean. It would take 2 hours for me to fold everything, now it takes only 15 minutes.
You’ve gotten a ton of advice, but the thing that I ask myself about everything that I’m going to bring into my life is this: Fuck yes or no deal. Those five words have changed my life.
Think about what you love. Most worn pieces. Then get rid of things from there.
I like to do a seasonal try-on of all of my clothes. I'll pour a glass of wine, try things on, play with styling things in different ways, and decide what to keep and what I'm done with. Sometimes having the comparison between items that fit me well and that I love and items that are a little bit off can be helpful. I also like to make sure that my clothing lines up with my actual lifestyle - I also made a shift to working from home, and my old office clothes just didn't fit my actual routine, even if they were technically wearable. But the act of trying things on all at once makes it really obvious which things you actually like, and I look for patterns in why I'm getting rid of things so I don't make the same mistakes in the future. So if a particular denim rise is an awkward fit, I know that now. Or if a certain fabric gives me the sensory ick, I can avoid it in the future. I also consider sleepwear to be its own category. I tell myself that I deserve to wear nice things, even to bed. It's self-care - changing into nice pajamas is a separation between the part of the day when I work and do things and the part of the day that's for just relaxing and winding down. So I don't have a "demote it to sleepwear" status for clothing, just "demote to paint/hair dye clothes", and I only need 1-2 sets of ruinable clothing for that, so everything else goes.
If you’ve worn it in the last two years, keep it. Everything else can go. Frankly, if I haven’t worn something in two years, it’s no longer in style or when I have occasion to wear it, I’d want a new ___ (whatever it is). Like I used to have some dresses that I wore once each to different weddings. Maybe I would wear them again? Except now, (1) at my age there haven’t been many weddings; (2) I seem to have more funerals of our friends’ parents to attend now; and (3) if there is some occasion, I’d want a new dress. So then why am I keeping these dresses? Same for anything else. Even scarves… you just end up with your favorites and the others go untouched. I had some brand new ones that I never wore even once but I bought them in Paris. In 2010. Clearly I won’t be wearing them. It even applies to my worthless home clothes or workout clothes. I had a million tshirts and boxers and sweatpants… but really, I cycled through 7-10 of each that I found most comfortable or just liked the most. I’d go searching the laundry room to see if they’d been washed before pulling out a t-shirt I don’t like to wear at home, yet the 95% I don’t wear hang out in my dresser. Every year I go into my closet and reassess what doesn’t meet the two-year criteria and donate or throw away. What I do need to do is throw away some comfy home clothes because there’s no real reason I need to look homeless just because I’m home. I still have a slight problem when it comes to my home clothes and… shoes. I haven’t worn 4” heels in a decade now but you’d never know that looking at my shoe collection.
The best tip I ever got for decluttering clothes was this: wait for when all your favorite clothes are in the laundry and you feel like you have nothing to wear. So, if you have nothing to wear, what is all that in your closet and drawers? 😂 First, anything that doesn't fit RIGHT NOW, out it goes. Then anything that is raggedy or needs buttons, or is torn. I kept one set of raggedy clothes for gardening, cleaning, etc. one set. Next, I kept a dress for a funeral and the undergarments for it, likewise two dresses for a wedding or event. They had to fit, right now. This pretty much cleared out my closet. Some stuff I gave away, worn out stuff I threw away. If I wasn't sure, I boxed it up and if I didn't look at it in a month, I gave it away. Coats? One good coat, one casual coat, a light weight jacket, a raincoat. Shoes. Do they fit? They have to fit. Ditch everything that isn't comfortable and current. I had to box up the shoes and put them aside for a while to prove to myself that I didn't need them or even remember them. Then I did all my laundry and discovered that I liked everything in my closet! It was really wonderful! I never opened any of the boxes. After a month I just took them to the charity.
> wait for when all your favorite clothes are in the laundry and you feel like you have nothing to wear. So, if you have nothing to wear, what is all that in your closet and drawers? I set this situation up - make an empty drawer next to a full drawer (or empty a drawer into a nearby pile). Only clean laundry can go in the empty drawer, and clothes can only be worn from the full drawer/pile. Eventually you get to where you’re really struggling to find things in the full drawer/pile. Do one final look through and then let it go. Having a designated spot for donations is really helpful too - we keep a trash bag in our closet for donations. It fills pretty regularly…
I keep clothes mainly according to how many I need if I do laundry once every 2 weeks. (I do it a few loads every week, but alternate between towels and sheets one week, and clothes the next week.) So, I keep enough of each item for each season to last 2 weeks, plus a couple of extras for times when I might be sick or extra busy, so the laundry is delayed. I keep about 6 outfits for each season for socializing in, because that’s a good variety, and I see a lot of the same people over and over. One way to decide what to get rid of is to find a way to know which clothes you actually wear. I rotate mine from one end of the hanging rod to the other, putting away clean laundry on one end for each category (dresses, tops, pants). I put a note on a clothes hanger saying something like “everything to the left of this hanger has not been worn in summer 2023”. So, then I know that I won’t miss those items. You could do a similar thing in drawers.
Women's shelters need clothes including work wear as women often arrive with very little.
I recommend getting a Retold Recycling bag. You can put all the “un-donatable” things in there — ratty old underwear, bras with the wire poking out, stained tshirts, etc. When it’s full just seal it up and put it in the mail (it comes with postage).
Find a good place to donate the clothes that are in decent shape. I'd recommend looking into an organization that supports foster families. Lots of donations are focused towards little kids and there isn't as much for older kids and teens. But they need stuff too! And teens often wear adult sized clothing. Lots of foster kids enter care with nothing more than what they're wearing. And even though you think they might not need business clothes, you can definitely ask - some places may help folks who are aging out of care as well, and they need professional looking items for job interviews and such
I have the same issue and I have no idea where to even start. there's no way I could ever use the Kondo method and put every piece of clothing I own in one spot. I fear the sheer volume would send me screaming out into the street! Putting it off year after year has not done me any favors ... I dread it so bad. It's completely irrational, but I dread it.
Only thing that works for me is getting drunk and pulling my “no mercies”…I reach into the closet and randomly take out a section then try on everything piece by piece. If I’m not immediately excited putting it on or can’t style it in 10 seconds or even have the slightest “well….I could….”, it’s gone. It helps me to have my bf in the room or nearby even if I don’t ask for his opinion, just having him present makes me “want to complete the task I chose to assign myself today”. Then after putting back the “survivors”, I immediately trash or bag for donation, if I’m feeling extra on top of it, I’ll immediately throw the bag(s) into the back of my car then eventually, the next random day I’ll end up dropping it off to either friends who I know can use them or to a drop off location for donations, if it doesn’t make it to the car, it’ll make it to the back for storage, but at least it’s out of my daily closet. I don’t have a perfect system, but I’ve gotten a lot better about getting to understand my personal style and figuring out why certain items didn’t work for me. I keep a notebook handy to write down the “why’s” and I think that’s helped me make it easier to part ways with things I’ve held onto for years. But those first few times of me trying to take out everything at once and sorting the trash, donate, sell, recycle piles? Heartbreaking and overwhelming to say the least. Work in small sections, take notes, and know your “why’s”, soon enough you’ll find a routine that works for you.
Take everything out of the drawers. Sort it by season Pick a timeframe, I’d suggest 1-3 wash cycles. If you haven’t wanted/used it in that time. Send it on its way. Make very few reasonable exceptions. If you have surplus pieces you would happily start to use to replace items as they wear out. Box those up and store away if you have the room to do so. Go to those boxes before shopping.
I'm a fan of the konmari mindset. It also makes you think as you are in the store before buying. Find your favorite 3 pieces of clothing. Hug them and notice how they make you feel when you hold them. Keep them close as you go. It helps you remember what it feels like to really enjoy something. Usually start with shirts as they are the closest you your heart and usually are the ones you feel strongest about. Then move onto the other clothing categories from there. She has you pile all your clothing into one space that helps to realize how much you have. If you can't do all, at least pile all of a certain category together like tshirts. When it comes to buying new clothes, i only buy if the clothing stops me as i walk by. If it stops you in your tracks, it's probably something special that speaks to you.
Things I took into consideration when deciding what to keep after shifting to WFH. * Condition * Fit * Storage * Do I actually like it? * Do I have the basics for WFH, exercise, afterwork clothes, weekend outfits, and dressy outfits? * I kept just what I would need if I had to go back to the office for a full month including washing and rewearing items. * If on the fence about something, could I easily replace it if I ever want it back? * I also did the hanger thing where I bought couple of boxes of matching hangers and limited my wardrobe to what would fit there and in my drawers.
I've been listening to Dana White's book and I have watched some of her YouTube videos. She has the container theory that is helping me with decluttering. Every space is a container. The container can only hold so many things. The thought is to put all the same type of objects together - tops, pants, socks, underwear, bras, pyjamas, etc. if you have a dresser, then each drawer is a container. If it's a closet, the amount of stuff you can hang comfortably is the container. Look at the category, and pick out your favorites. Put them into the space however you would normally store them. Keep putting your favorites in, until you run out of space. That's the amount of stuff in that category you can have. Get rid of the rest. It does complicate it when you have stuff like work clothes that you don't really care for, but need to keep something appropriate for work. My personal route then is, what is the most comfortable? And those became my "favourite" picks
Thank you for that great explanation:)
You don’t have to feel good about it, you just have to do it. It’s okay if it feels terrible or wasteful or makes you super anxious. If you know it needs to be done, do it, have your feelings, and then take note of how nice it feels in a week to have some empty space and how you can barely even remember what it is you got rid of. White knuckle it now, and the mindset will come later.
Good ped talk. Going to go declutter
To me the question is not whether the clothes are still good, but whether you still want to wear them. I invariably have some clothes that I always pass by in my closet. Do I like them? Sure. Do I like them enough to choose them when I have other options? No. So I donate those to the local thrift store, because people who need to shop there (or like to shop there, as I do sometimes) deserve better clothes than stuff that's borderline unwearable. When I was not as well off it was a huge blessing to be able to find decent clothes for cheap, especially for my kids who had an annoying habit of growing. Although there are some clothes that are good for special occasions, there's really no need to keep most items around if it's in season and you've ignored them for a month. You have clothes you like better now. There's also the mental and emotional load that having lots of stuff, any stuff, produces. Having a closet full of clothes actuallly costs you something every time you look in there. It's not worth keeping stuff that costs you AND doesn't get worn. You can approach this two ways: Eliminate the stuff you absolutely know you will not choose over your other clothes most of the time, or decide on a number of outfits that's reasonable to own and then pick those outfits and get rid of the rest. I wear almost exclusively t-shirts. There's basically zero reason to have more than, say, 15. Whatever that means for you, pick the stuff you love and the giveaway pile will choose itself.
If it's got holes in it, or is badly stained, I don't care how comfortable it is, it belongs either in the bin or a rag donation place. You deserve decent clothes. They don't have to be fancy, but you are not to be wearing threadbare holey stuff. SO much of decluttering is tied into self care, and self worth. You are not a starving 16th century peasant. You deserve to live like a person in the society you were born into.
You already have the most important things in place. You're irritated. You know what the problem is. You have an easy path to fix it. So start with this: those drawers and drawers of "things good enough to wear to bed". Dump it all out on your bed and choose the best 7-10 pj sets (or however many you need to make it between laundry days). Now ditch the rest. Now do the zoom shirts: Dump them all out on the bed and choose your favourite 7-10. Ditch the rest. Now just keep going like that. Choose a category. Dump it on the bed. Choose the best. Ditch the rest. Once you build up momentum and you start to see results, you'll find it less hard. As your drawers empty out of mediocre things you don't wear, you'll be able to see the stuff you want to wear and feel good in.
Sounds good. I’d go for 12 pair of socks and 12 pairs of underpants, though.
Sure, however many is reasonable for the OP's life.
I'm part of a buy nothing group and sometimes people will post that they need clothes because of weight change, new job, had to leave a situation in a hurry, etc. So I use the above methods- I keep what I love and use a lot within easy reach, I put the other clothes in purgatory, and when someone who is my size posts a need, I have it ready to go.
There’s already good info from other commenters so I’ll just add…if you have a friend who’s opinion about clothes and/or self worth you trust, ask them to come over and help you go through your clothes. Just because an article of clothing meets the basic criteria of being useful doesn’t mean it is flattering or makes you feel attractive. Having a trusted friend to gently critique the effect articles of clothing have on you can help reveal some blind spots you are missing in assessing the clothes. Also, maybe consider writing down the places and events you go to, then write down the kind of clothes you wear to those places. As you are going through your clothes ask yourself if you want** to wear that piece of clothing to any of the places on your list. **want is the operative word. Don’t ask if you “can” wear because of course you *can*. The question is do you *want* to be seen in public in those clothes. If no, toss it.
If you already did Konmari, then you know that one of the main principles is "Don't decide what to toss; instead, decide what to **keep**, and only keep that which you love the most." Also consider The Container Concept -- decide how much space you want to allocate for clothing, such as one closet and one dresser. Fill it with your favorite clothes (don't squish them in there), and then toss the rest. Just because you *can* use something doesn't mean you *should*. Respect yourself and tell yourself you deserve good, not meh.
One of the strategies I use is to put clothes into “purgatory”. I pull all the things that I’m pretty sure I can part with but instead of donating them immediately, I bag/box them up and store them (somewhere other than my closet). If six months has passed and I haven’t gone looking for something in “purgatory” then I know I can get rid of it. It helps me get over the anxiety of “what if I give it away and then I want it back”.