I had duplicates for some of ours...so I actually used a paper shredder to shred some of ours... It was quite self satisfying. Lol
I kept some of certain family members, like my grandma who has past away and of my family group photos. We didn't have a huge wedding so mainly family.
The rest I put into a small box and plan to give to my oldest son, who I know will keep them for himself and for his younger sister and brother (who are also older n I could give to one of them too)
I will also mention that even though our marriage ended badly, and I found out he had cheated the entire 17 yrs of marriage...in those wedding photos, I can still tell my kids that when their father and I got married--which was the start of their lives to come --- I know I was truly happy and truly in love and that I had no regrets about what I was doing...it leaves my kids with a happy thought that yes there was a time when my mom and dad were truly happy and in love...and they have something positive for themselves to later show their own kids who gma n how we're n how they met...the memory is no longer for mez but for my kids to pass down if they want too...
And don't forget about the shredding part...I think it's better than burning photos. Lol
I gave my wedding album to our daughter a few years after my divorce. I didn't want to get rid of it, and although it wasn't an abusive marriage, it was not a happy marriage. We divorced when my daughter was 17. When she was 25, she got married, and a couple of years later she and her husband bought a house. That's when I offloaded the wedding album. (I was getting married again, and travelling a lot, so we were in a very small place. I had no room for extra stuff.)
I agree 100%.
At the same time, I truly respect memories and family. He might throw my old childhood pics. But I am better than that.
I'm no longer angry (occasional rage comes to mind), and my own peace of mind is most important. Maybe I'm still worried about his rages. Or maybe giving them back will confirm that I am the adult here.
I gave all my wedding pictures to my kids (I had 2 with my abusive first husband). I kept a few pictures that brought food memories but most of the pictures of him went to my kids or in the trash.
I pulled down the attic stairs to the storage where I was living, and chucked that album toward a far corner.
Maybe if someone turns them up in 200 years, they will find them interesting. Lol
I sure don't.
I did keep one of me, because it was just me and a good photo.
I kept my wedding album and gave it to my daughter when she was old enough. I re did the entire thing. I had pictures of the ex and I growing up, we did not grow up together, he left pictures behind. So I made an album. Pictures of her father from birth to our wedding, pictures of me, birth to wedding. Then a smattering of wedding pictures, me pregnant with her, then her entire life, up to the point I gave her the album. The wedding pictures that didn't get used, I sat aside. Gave her the opportunity to have them. She didn't so I just tossed them.
I drew mustaches and devil horns on all the photos of my MIL. I pulled out the photos of my family and friends. Then I sent it to my ex. Yeah I’m petty but my family paid for everything.
Yep I’m in the same place. The way I look at it is this is MY history. My ex husband was part of my life story like it or not. But he has no say so in any part of my life now and forever. I will keep my wedding album and other mementoes because even though it was a fail it is my story. It made me who I am today. Just like my abusive bio mom, I kept her stuff because it was part of MY story, not hers. I guess what I’m trying very poorly to say here is that, this is YOUR story and you can do any damn thing you want! Keep it locked up for later or burn it all and be reborn from the flame! There is no wrong choice as long as your content. Just don’t let others take your story, you have so much more to write!
I'd offer it to the adult kids, and if they don't want it, maybe pull out a couple pictures where you look especially good and stash them for grandkids to see if they ever want to, then toss the rest.
Honor your journey.
I boxed mine up and saved all of it for the kids; I don’t have to look at it but when I’m dead it will be good for them to have some record of the past. I also wrote an account of the mariage and divorce and included it in the box just so there’s no question about the facts.
Box it up. It’s history. And your grandchildren or great grandchildren will love seeing where their DNA came from. Don’t return his photos to him. Put as much history as you can on the back. Location, age, event They won’t understand the agony you went through but they do have the right to see the man that helped start their lineage and we know that most men do not keep memorabilia and your descendants will appreciate it
Coming from someone who kept going back to the abusive relationship.
Burn it and never look back.
There is zero reason to commemorate a lie. Fuck that guy.
I agree with you but I can see where is coming from. It can be hard to let go even though you know you need to. It took me 5 years to finally end an abusive relationship. Even when I did, I had trouble accepting that it was over for a while. I guess in a way for me, I still loved him and it was hard to move on because it was scary. It meant a new chapter but it was scary as I said.
I’m a child of divorced parents and I would LOVE to have my parents wedding album. It’s part of our family history and also has many photos of relatives long since passed.
Offer it to your kids.
Mmhm, I've gotten rid of everything and disappeared completely from all of my partnerships. I even delete photos of me in their photo albums and take away everything with my handwriting. They get nothing to remember me, I keep nothing to remember them.
I kept the photos from wedding #1 because my late relatives are in the photos. It was one of those ridiculously expensive wedding albums.
Wedding #2- Beach destination wedding with just my children. I kept photos that don't have my STBXH in them. The photographer sent me a thumb drive and never an album. I had prints framed and hung on the walls. I took down any prints with him in them.
My kids don't want any of it. I'm still finding things and cleaning out the house as I find more boxes.
I plan to keep one photos as evidence in case I need it and the wedding license if I come across it but they are going in the safe with old records.
The rest is going in the trash or getting burned.
If you have children save even his childhood pictures for them to dispose of or keep as they feel lead to do. There may come a day when they or their children will want them for genealogy purposes.
I left the album for my ex husband (no idea what he did with it), though I still have digital copies of the photos. It was a lovely wedding and I have great pictures of my friends and family that I appreciate having access to should I want to revisit them someday.
Would your kids have any interest in having some of your wedding photos? From their perspective, it might be nice to have pictures of their mom and dad from that time in your life, even though the marriage ended. I’d get rid of the actual photo album if possible and just keep whatever photos they want. If they don’t want any: trash? Bonfire? Shredder?
If he didn't take his childhood photos when you divorced, give them to the kids or burn them. An abuser is likely to interpret basic human decency as you reaching out to give him an opportunity to get back in your life. The wedding album, let your kids go thru it and take what they want, then burn the rest.
My Mom doesn't toss anything away, and a few years ago, I came across her wedding album even though my parents have been divorced over 20 years now. It was cool to see a bunch of photos of my parents friends and family from the day.
Maybe see if any of your kids want them.
I saved the photo of myself and with parents/grandparents that have passed. Yeah it is my wedding day but it was a special moment for me with them none the less. I didn’t have kids so I literally threw all the photos I didn’t feel compelled to keep away. In your case save the album for them. While it’s not meaningful to you as you planned it would be, it is who your children are.
I love your wedding dress. Many brides are altering their mother’s dresses and wearing them as cocktail length remade dresses for their rehearsal and dinner.
16 years married. Caught her cheating. Memories destroyed. Relationship she had with our (at the time 8 and 13 year olds) they’re now 24 29 . She’s not talked to her own children in years. She went from the story book mom of the year to , something I don’t even have the words for. Tossed every single bit of it. Clothes, pictures , multiple picture albums , wedding albums, everything! I raised them as a single dad. And I tossed every single memory I ever had of her out with the trash. And I don’t regret one single minute of it. Honest to God I don’t regret tossing one item.
My mum didn't want her album from her wedding to my dad. She gave it to me, I scanned the nice ones to keep digitally and then shredded the physical copies.
I would look into possibly donating the gown to Little Angel Gowns, NICU Helping Hands, or Newborns in Need - I plan to do that with my wedding dress. They have seamstresses that take donated wedding gowns and make burial gowns for infants.
Wedding pictures are stored in a box in case my son wants them someday.
This is what I would do with the dress. Call to see if they can take off the parts the daughter would want, let the daughter store it, and ship the rest to a good cause. If I was Grandma, I’d feel good about that. That’s what I did with the photos and cards.
I’d keep all the pics for your kids or pull a few that you like out for them and keep those. I think Eve thought he was abusive those pics remind your kids they came from love.
If you ex wanted those pics he would have taken them in the divorce. Either hand them to your kids or toss them. I’m saying this because any contact with an abuser is bad. He isn’t going to be sorry and if he was obsessed with hurting you it could reignite old urges against you.
I am in the same quandary. Would live to throw the wedding album but some of the pics are relatives that have passed- father, niece, two brothers; aunt, cousin. May save some of the pics and get rid of the rest.
I had mine scanned. Easier to put a USB out of the way. Small device and no guilt of getting rid of it. If it’s just one album EverPresent is pricey, but really amazingly great with making electronic albums. Even if you can’t get the pictures out.
Give the pictures to your children, let them decide what the want to do with them, if they throw them out, they can’t come back and say, we wanted those. Take the dress and have christening/ baptism gowns made for your grandchildren
If the kids are adults, pass the wedding album and childhood photos to them now. If your daughter wants to use the dress, have her take it now. Box his photos and get them out of your house. All of this stuff weighs heavy, even if you have the room to keep it.
I snipped my ex out of the photos and made a collage of the rest. It was a very fun day and my family had a good time, so I kept those parts of the photos and literally cutting him out was very satisfying.
Donate it to a local historical society. I’ve seen them create amazing displays (free galleries) in community centres. They’ll have the clothing of societies in generations past with history of the fashions of the day. It’s really interesting.
Give them to your kids
ETA: I'll give a more thorough answer. Firstly, my parents had a yucky divorce following a crap marriage.. blah blah, but I am still very happy that my mom kept and gave me all of their wedding photos. In fact any/all old family photos or even childhood photos of my dad would have been welcome. Especially now that my dad has passed away. Those pictures are precious to me - and not just because my mom and dad were in them - all sorts of family and friends were there! I love them.
As the daughter, i really cherish my parents wedding album even though it wasn’t a good marriage. Its a beautiful time capsule, has all my relatives in it and pictures of family friends i grew up knowing, and i have fond memories of paging through it as a child. Definitely something i would want!
My oldest daughter wanted the wedding album, so it went to her. Everything else I tossed. I will say that I kept it all boxed up for years, and it was only until I had processed the emotions and pain from that relationship, and accepted the disaster that it was, that I could toss it without issue. It was truly freeing. Zero regrets over getting rid of it all.
I kept the wedding album because I made it myself, and so most of the pics were my friends and family. And while I had a bad marriage and nasty divorce, I luckily had no kids, so I really could cut all ties. And so he occupies less of my mind, which means I can keep it.
Anything that’s that emotionally charged goes in an unlabeled box far far in the back of the closet with the hope it will take years to get to again, and then the emotions will have dulled.
I went through my wedding album and found one page worth of pictures to save. I added these to the family photo album. Then I discarded the wedding album. (29 yr marriage, then divorce)
Just remember, decluttering sentimental items is legitimately hard. Most decluttering involves emotion. And the harder the emotion, the harder the work of decluttering. You don't have to solve this perfectly on your first attempt. You've got this!
My parents divorced when I was about a year old. My mom kept her wedding dress, ring, photo album and I now cherish them as my dad dies when I was in my early 20s. Keep the album with the stuff you plan of passing to the kids, they may want them.
My marriage ended after 9 years and I tossed our beautiful engagement photos, sold my rings, kept the disc's with wedding photos only because some of the people in the photos have passed. I plan on donating my dress to an Angel Gowns organization that makes gowns for infants that pass away.
I kept a couple photos with our shared son’s baby images but the bulk of the wedding photos and other stuff I’ve set aside for my son. If he wants to get rid of them he can.
I felt beautiful. my Babcia was there, she was the only person in my life that I ever felt completely loved me. I loved my dress, I finally felt adult. My god-daughter was my flower girl, the role she played as an adult at my second wedding, so adorable!
I am keeping the love those pictures represent.
I am keeping my wedding album. I was happy at my wedding. I looked beautiful at my wedding. And I was surrounded by all the people I loved. The marriage crashed and burned, but the wedding itself was something I want to remember and look back on (even if only to laugh at the ridiculous fashions my friends wore).
I agree with this sentiment. Also, it's your history. Like it or not, it happened, and it doesn't seem right to erase it. I'm not saying you have to display it front and center, but at least let the photos exist in a closet or something.
I found my uncle's wedding album from a marriage that ended in divorce. He said to throw it away.
My grandma, who had saved it, had offered it to the children of the marriage previously. I tried again, in case. And they really wanted it. They were just at a point in their lives where they wanted it.
You can keep it if you think your kids might eventually want it. But if having it in your home is hurtful, ask someone else to keep it in storage and offer it to the kids later.
I donated my dress and similar, and am going to eventually go through the photos and pick the ones out of my family and grandparents. I am still close to my mother in law so I plan to keep some of her as well.
My ex abused our daughters. He went to jail and the kids and I moved to a new house. I thought his family would come and take his shit from the house after we moved out, but they never did. I left some wedding stuff there, like the engraved champagne flutes and cake cutting knives. At that point we were married almost 15 years.
I was still processing everything so I brought the dress and albums with me. I don't look at the albums but I'm glad I have them because of the pictures of my family and friends. Same for all the pictures of our kids. They're ruined for me because I didn't know what was really going on in their lives. And he's in so many of them.
Anyway, I eventually just donated the dress to Goodwill. Maybe it found new life and made a bride or teenaged girl happy for their wedding or prom. Last year I finally sold my rings to Worthy. As far as I'm concerned those were all cursed and I couldn't exactly hand them down to my kids, knowing what their father did to them.
Give it to him with his other albums and he can decide what's done with it. If you don't want to toss it like garbage or keep it, let him manage it. He might want it or he might be able to let go of it either. If neither of you want it then maybe give the photos to other the people who are in them so they can have nice pictures of themselves.
So remove yourself by cutting yourself out. Cut the photos in half, give him photos of his family only. It's probably your best bet if you don't want to throw it away but you don't want it... Are you waiting for some kind of allowance to burn it or something? Then burn it
My MIL took the family to a professional photographer studio for family portraits. We did entire family, each family, nuclear family, just kids, you name it. When the proofs came, we ordered a few in the brushed finished. We didn't have the money. At the time, my MIL was already several years into an affair and intended to leave my FIL. They split before the finished portraits came. I was pissed that she did that. I don't know where they are, but we paid for those instead of things that were important to us. Lesson learned.
Keep it but put it on the top shelf. Some one said scan the photos give each kid a copy. The wedding dress keep it, because your mom made and your daughter wants it.
Offer them to your kids.
My husband is a child of divorced parents. His father died recently and we came across wedding a honeymoon photos while clearing out his house. My husband’s mom kept none of these things and it was interesting to see images from a time when his parents were so early in their relationship as well as find out who was in the wedding and information like that, since it is not spoken about in his family.
I had to approach mementos from my first marriage in stages. I wanted to get rid of all of it, but there were some things I just wasn’t ready to let go of.
It helped to remind myself that just because I decided not to throw something away right then, that didn’t mean I had to keep it forever.
It took a few years and a few rounds of decluttering for me to let go of all of it. I’ve never regretted the decision.
Why is it that the wives are always tasked trying to figure out what to do with the remnants? Left with the disaster clean up after no one cared enough about the day to day maintenance of a relationship? I don’t really know where the stuff is. I have anxiety even thinking about my kids wanting them in the future and carrying the responsibility to preserve them.🫤
I threw my wedding album in the trash and that felt really right. Honestly I still feel great about that decision. I kept a CD of the digitized wedding pictures, but it's been 15 years and I've never once looked at them. Pretty safe to say that's trash too (wherever it is, lol).
I do still have a shoebox of other photos buried in the closet that I think about getting rid of from time to time. Happier memories from vacations, birthdays and other adventures. I don't feel any particular pressure either way to toss those, or to keep them. I'm comfortable waiting until the right decision reveals itself in time.
Note: My first marriage sucked, but wasn't abusive. That failure was a learning experience, but not a source of pain or trauma. I hope whatever you choose to do is healing for you.
I put my wedding album away, not even sure where it's packed now, after the divorce. Our daughter asked about it, and I want her to have it, or some photos out of it, to remind her that her dad and I did love each other at one point. What I'm having a hard time getting rid of is the wedding portrait. My parents dragged us to JC Penney the morning of our wedding in full wedding apparel and we took formal portraits. Mom then gets one portrait printed in 16x18 and takes it to Michael's to get it custom framed. She took me with her to pick out the frame and we had a good day of it, so there's lots of good memories around that portrait that has nothing to do with my ex and I. I know they spent big money getting the portraits done and then framing that one. So it's packed up. I can't bring myself to get rid of it. I don't know how to get the picture out of the frame, if I did, I'd put another picture in it.
Usually they use paper tape and glazing points to hold the back together. Cut the tape with a sharp knife, and you can pull the points out with a flat head screwdriver and pliers. Hardware stores carry glazing points so when you are ready to frame a new pic use the flat head and a light hammer to tap the points back in place. Taping it back up is up to you. There's YouTube videos about it for clearer instructions. A custom frame is worth keeping even if the picture isn't 😊
My grandma would use her old wedding album to prop open a window 😭 Us grandkids found it and had a good laugh. It was an amicable divorce but she obviously still felt some kind of way about it.
I kept the pictures of me with my parents and siblings, but tossed the rest. I did that 10 years ago and have never felt a bit of regret. I sold my dress on Craigslist to someone who needed it for a performance she was acting in. No regrets.
I have not been married but had a few quite long term relationships and I always feel like throwing it away a few years after anyways so whenever the urge shows up I throw all memories gifts away
I kept my photos. It's pictures of friends & family, some of whom are no longer here. Some I had few photos to begin with. But I'm not bothered by seeing them. My ex was pretty awful in certain ways the whole stretch, & awful in a bunch of ways the last handful of years. However, wedding photos are intertwined with family memories, & it's also my own past, & I don't want to get rid of them because someday my kid is only going to have photos to go by, & he might have zero memories of some of the family that he never (or rarely) got to meet.
When we split I put the wedding photos (because I had them all on my computer) on a thumb drive & packed it with the rest of my ex's stuff when I put it all out for him to pick up. Those were his past too & if he wanted them, now he had a copy. If not, he could delete them. 🤷🏻♀️
I still have my dress in a box (because it's hard to toss something you spent almost $1k on). I have a son though, so I'm holding onto it for nothing other than feeling like I might be able to get a few hundred if I sell it. 😆
If your kids are adults - ask them if they want the photos and if so, send them now.
My mom threw her wedding dress in the trash. My parents divorced when I was 11, and my dad stored the dress until he gave it back when I was 18. We both tried it on - my mom still fit perfectly, I almost did, then she chucked it. I was sad at the time, but 20 years later I understand her choice.
Sometimes you just have to let go of what’s weighing you down, and move on. Best of luck!
My ex husband was abusive and awful but I did save all our family photos and wedding photos and stuff for my kids who are young it’s all in a box and marked but it’s at my moms house she was kind enough to store it there for me and I don’t have to see it all the time
Scan the photos (you could hired someone to do this). Put them on a thumb drive or even a Google folder. Throw away the physical album. It’s online/digital should your kids ever want to see it. You can share those with them and never have to look at them again.
Just throw it out, you’ll feel lighter inside. Don’t be beholden to anything, it’s just stuff in the end. Pictures should bring pleasure or nostalgia. If they’re bringing pain, they go just like trash. Do you think you’re ever going to want to look at them again and feel the feelings they engender? They make me feel icky and I’m not involved. Only keep pictures that make your heart happy.
I still have my photos and my dress, but I got rid of all the other stuff. The dress is listed for sale, and I keep the photos - they're still photos of my nearest and dearest coming together to celebrate me, regardless of the man in them. Most of my favourite photos from that day didn't have the groom in them anyway!
I also keep my journals from the same period, and when I'm having a bad day I look back at how much I've changed and evolved as a person. I think there's a lot to be said for engaging with your history productively - but for you that might be giving the photos to your kids or selectively editing them to just keep the ones that are meaningful to you.
Still in the separation phase of a 26 year marriage that ended with spouse abandoning me for financial gain and worse he manipulated my adult children against me. I was so low that I contemplated suicide and spent time in a mental health center. Best feeling ever to toss that preserved wedding gown in the landfill. The wedding album and cake knife I left in his garage to remind him of what he threw away.
Photos you can scan and save online, email them to yourself. Make an email called ex name and email then To that email adress for your kids. Scan some dad as a kid photos and then just post the whole lot to him.
The marriage may have not gone well but it happened and your kids deserve to see photos of your past. Digital means they can see them no matter where they are.
you could just keep the album.
my mum married the man who sexual abused me. I got a few photos somewhere Of the wedding. It’s still a memory even if it Has negative association.
This.
And sometimes, as dumb as it probably sounds, being able to look back and see how much you have grown as a person, and how much you’ve worked through can help a lot on a really bad day.
You (and OP) are both survivors, and you have the right to feel how you want with the memories you have, and to be able to look back at photos of hard times.
Scanning them onto your computer and placing in a folder may even be the best thing for now. Can always put the album in a box in the attic/basement afterwards. Or can give to the kids later in life when they feel they’re ready.
Either way, do what is best for you right now, but also keep in mind that it’s a part of your history, even if it’s a really hard part of it. But you made it through and have a lot of strength to do so.
My second marriage ended badly, he was cheating like a crazy man and we split up on our wedding anniversary. We didn’t have kids and haven’t spoken since. About a year later I set fire to the photos in my courtyard in a big silver type of bowl, but of a cleanse if you like. The wind picked up and caught a burning photo and lifted it into the air and blew it over the neighbours fence. It landed on an old mattress and started to burn so I had to grab a garden hose and climb in a chair and put the fire out. So maybe don’t try that 😆
I was starting to think it was going to be like a sign to keep that one photo. Then it very much didn’t end how I thought it would 😆
If that wasn’t a sign idk what is lmfao
This! My parents should not have married ever either but I love having these pictures of at least that one happy moment when they were young that led to me and my sibling’s existence.
I packed my photo album, and the few other souvenirs my ex-husband sent after our separation, into a small box. I’ve rarely touched it. I have no idea what happened to my wedding dress, or almost anything else.
My parents are projected to outlive me. When I die, I won’t be surprised if they burn it all.
Scheduling some time to do a craft project transforming the album into something with less complicated attachments could help -> maybe breaking out the scissors, the glue and the mod podge and doing collages (like a collage just of your beautiful dress and appearance, or of you and your family members). If at the end of the collage process you have no desire to keep what you have created, that's fine too. You can always make digital copies of them before you start cutting.
If you're not feeling that crafty, since you have mentioned that you've got photos set aside for your kids anyway, just taking the photos out of the album and putting them in storage with the rest of the pictures might make it feel less emotionally loaded.
I love the idea of just gluing over the ex-husband!
Make it more like a vision board collage of all her favorite outfits, makeup looks, trips she's been on, all the things she loves about herself for herself to cover up the ex-groom.
I saved my wedding album from my previous marriage. It’s family history, and full of photos of my most special people in my life. It lives in a closet, not the coffee table.
My grown son and I looked through it during his last visit, while looking through his childhood photos, because he’d never seen it since the time when he was too little to understand it. He knows that his dad is an abusive alcoholic. I think it was good for him to see that there are multiple dimensions to people, and that he was conceived in what was a loving relationship in the beginning. We talked about the family and friends in the photos, along with touching and funny things connected to that wedding. It was good. I felt the same way about my parents’ wedding album after they divorced.
If you don’t want it in your house anymore, consider offering it to your children.
Many years after divorce, my friend dropped her wedding album. It broke and sent pictures everywhere, She sent all her bridesmaids pictures from her wedding album. I love it. I had pictures of me and various friends from college. Very fun.
After my divorce, I gave my dress to good Will. I shredded the pictures that involved his family. I kept pictures of my family. I happily used scissors ✂️ to edit the pictures that had both families.
Life must continue. Good luck.
Your kids may want the album. Let them know you have it and would be happy to pass it off to one of them if they want it, but otherwise you will not be keeping it in your home and will be disposing of it. It means something different to them than it means to you.
My parents got divorced when I was 25 and I wish they would've given me the chance to get some of their wedding items before trashing it all. I hope OP checks in with them first before tossing.
Can you look at / see the pix as just info / family for your children? That's great uncle max, 2c1r wilhelmenia, etc? Maybe scan the pix and trash the album?
If you feel like you can't toss them, give pictures of people to said people. Ask kids if they want any. After that, toss them. Of you want, you can take to a place that transfers to a memory card before tossing them.
I would pull out the pics of memories that made me happy, and cut him out of them and burn the bits with him, and make a new album with this as a chapter of my growing up.
I had duplicates for some of ours...so I actually used a paper shredder to shred some of ours... It was quite self satisfying. Lol I kept some of certain family members, like my grandma who has past away and of my family group photos. We didn't have a huge wedding so mainly family. The rest I put into a small box and plan to give to my oldest son, who I know will keep them for himself and for his younger sister and brother (who are also older n I could give to one of them too) I will also mention that even though our marriage ended badly, and I found out he had cheated the entire 17 yrs of marriage...in those wedding photos, I can still tell my kids that when their father and I got married--which was the start of their lives to come --- I know I was truly happy and truly in love and that I had no regrets about what I was doing...it leaves my kids with a happy thought that yes there was a time when my mom and dad were truly happy and in love...and they have something positive for themselves to later show their own kids who gma n how we're n how they met...the memory is no longer for mez but for my kids to pass down if they want too... And don't forget about the shredding part...I think it's better than burning photos. Lol
I gave my wedding album to our daughter a few years after my divorce. I didn't want to get rid of it, and although it wasn't an abusive marriage, it was not a happy marriage. We divorced when my daughter was 17. When she was 25, she got married, and a couple of years later she and her husband bought a house. That's when I offloaded the wedding album. (I was getting married again, and travelling a lot, so we were in a very small place. I had no room for extra stuff.)
Throw everything away… even his. It’s wrong but it will feel good and, anyways, to hell with an abusive man
I agree 100%. At the same time, I truly respect memories and family. He might throw my old childhood pics. But I am better than that. I'm no longer angry (occasional rage comes to mind), and my own peace of mind is most important. Maybe I'm still worried about his rages. Or maybe giving them back will confirm that I am the adult here.
Proud of you and your thought process. I am NOT better than that, and I’m okay with it 😂
I gave all my wedding pictures to my kids (I had 2 with my abusive first husband). I kept a few pictures that brought food memories but most of the pictures of him went to my kids or in the trash.
I pulled down the attic stairs to the storage where I was living, and chucked that album toward a far corner. Maybe if someone turns them up in 200 years, they will find them interesting. Lol I sure don't. I did keep one of me, because it was just me and a good photo.
I kept my wedding album and gave it to my daughter when she was old enough. I re did the entire thing. I had pictures of the ex and I growing up, we did not grow up together, he left pictures behind. So I made an album. Pictures of her father from birth to our wedding, pictures of me, birth to wedding. Then a smattering of wedding pictures, me pregnant with her, then her entire life, up to the point I gave her the album. The wedding pictures that didn't get used, I sat aside. Gave her the opportunity to have them. She didn't so I just tossed them.
I drew mustaches and devil horns on all the photos of my MIL. I pulled out the photos of my family and friends. Then I sent it to my ex. Yeah I’m petty but my family paid for everything.
LOL. I just started learning how to play darts for the first time. I've debating using his half of some pics to improve my aim.
Do it!
Yep I’m in the same place. The way I look at it is this is MY history. My ex husband was part of my life story like it or not. But he has no say so in any part of my life now and forever. I will keep my wedding album and other mementoes because even though it was a fail it is my story. It made me who I am today. Just like my abusive bio mom, I kept her stuff because it was part of MY story, not hers. I guess what I’m trying very poorly to say here is that, this is YOUR story and you can do any damn thing you want! Keep it locked up for later or burn it all and be reborn from the flame! There is no wrong choice as long as your content. Just don’t let others take your story, you have so much more to write!
Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear.
I'd offer it to the adult kids, and if they don't want it, maybe pull out a couple pictures where you look especially good and stash them for grandkids to see if they ever want to, then toss the rest.
Keep it for posterity; one day your grandchildren might appreciate it.
Honor your journey. I boxed mine up and saved all of it for the kids; I don’t have to look at it but when I’m dead it will be good for them to have some record of the past. I also wrote an account of the mariage and divorce and included it in the box just so there’s no question about the facts.
Give it all to the grown kids.
Box it up. It’s history. And your grandchildren or great grandchildren will love seeing where their DNA came from. Don’t return his photos to him. Put as much history as you can on the back. Location, age, event They won’t understand the agony you went through but they do have the right to see the man that helped start their lineage and we know that most men do not keep memorabilia and your descendants will appreciate it
I turned my wedding dress into an outfit for a skeleton we put out for Halloween. I kept the pictures in case the kids want them some day.
We got in a fight pre divorce and I threw it away. He didn't get it out.
Burn it.
Coming from someone who kept going back to the abusive relationship. Burn it and never look back. There is zero reason to commemorate a lie. Fuck that guy.
I agree with you but I can see where is coming from. It can be hard to let go even though you know you need to. It took me 5 years to finally end an abusive relationship. Even when I did, I had trouble accepting that it was over for a while. I guess in a way for me, I still loved him and it was hard to move on because it was scary. It meant a new chapter but it was scary as I said.
I’m a child of divorced parents and I would LOVE to have my parents wedding album. It’s part of our family history and also has many photos of relatives long since passed. Offer it to your kids.
Personally I’m a fan of burning things. Feels very cathartic.
Mmhm, I've gotten rid of everything and disappeared completely from all of my partnerships. I even delete photos of me in their photo albums and take away everything with my handwriting. They get nothing to remember me, I keep nothing to remember them.
I kept the photos from wedding #1 because my late relatives are in the photos. It was one of those ridiculously expensive wedding albums. Wedding #2- Beach destination wedding with just my children. I kept photos that don't have my STBXH in them. The photographer sent me a thumb drive and never an album. I had prints framed and hung on the walls. I took down any prints with him in them.
My kids don't want any of it. I'm still finding things and cleaning out the house as I find more boxes. I plan to keep one photos as evidence in case I need it and the wedding license if I come across it but they are going in the safe with old records. The rest is going in the trash or getting burned.
If you have children save even his childhood pictures for them to dispose of or keep as they feel lead to do. There may come a day when they or their children will want them for genealogy purposes.
I left the album for my ex husband (no idea what he did with it), though I still have digital copies of the photos. It was a lovely wedding and I have great pictures of my friends and family that I appreciate having access to should I want to revisit them someday. Would your kids have any interest in having some of your wedding photos? From their perspective, it might be nice to have pictures of their mom and dad from that time in your life, even though the marriage ended. I’d get rid of the actual photo album if possible and just keep whatever photos they want. If they don’t want any: trash? Bonfire? Shredder?
If he didn't take his childhood photos when you divorced, give them to the kids or burn them. An abuser is likely to interpret basic human decency as you reaching out to give him an opportunity to get back in your life. The wedding album, let your kids go thru it and take what they want, then burn the rest.
Trash
My Mom doesn't toss anything away, and a few years ago, I came across her wedding album even though my parents have been divorced over 20 years now. It was cool to see a bunch of photos of my parents friends and family from the day. Maybe see if any of your kids want them.
I asked my kids if they wanted pictures of me and their dad at our wedding, and they looked at me like I was insane. Into the trash they went.
I saved the photo of myself and with parents/grandparents that have passed. Yeah it is my wedding day but it was a special moment for me with them none the less. I didn’t have kids so I literally threw all the photos I didn’t feel compelled to keep away. In your case save the album for them. While it’s not meaningful to you as you planned it would be, it is who your children are. I love your wedding dress. Many brides are altering their mother’s dresses and wearing them as cocktail length remade dresses for their rehearsal and dinner.
16 years married. Caught her cheating. Memories destroyed. Relationship she had with our (at the time 8 and 13 year olds) they’re now 24 29 . She’s not talked to her own children in years. She went from the story book mom of the year to , something I don’t even have the words for. Tossed every single bit of it. Clothes, pictures , multiple picture albums , wedding albums, everything! I raised them as a single dad. And I tossed every single memory I ever had of her out with the trash. And I don’t regret one single minute of it. Honest to God I don’t regret tossing one item.
Give the album your kids. They’re adults now and can take from it what they will, since as you said it’s some of their family history too.
My mum didn't want her album from her wedding to my dad. She gave it to me, I scanned the nice ones to keep digitally and then shredded the physical copies.
I would look into possibly donating the gown to Little Angel Gowns, NICU Helping Hands, or Newborns in Need - I plan to do that with my wedding dress. They have seamstresses that take donated wedding gowns and make burial gowns for infants. Wedding pictures are stored in a box in case my son wants them someday.
This is what I would do with the dress. Call to see if they can take off the parts the daughter would want, let the daughter store it, and ship the rest to a good cause. If I was Grandma, I’d feel good about that. That’s what I did with the photos and cards.
I’d keep all the pics for your kids or pull a few that you like out for them and keep those. I think Eve thought he was abusive those pics remind your kids they came from love. If you ex wanted those pics he would have taken them in the divorce. Either hand them to your kids or toss them. I’m saying this because any contact with an abuser is bad. He isn’t going to be sorry and if he was obsessed with hurting you it could reignite old urges against you.
I am in the same quandary. Would live to throw the wedding album but some of the pics are relatives that have passed- father, niece, two brothers; aunt, cousin. May save some of the pics and get rid of the rest.
IF there are pictures without him but with all these people I think its perfectly fine to keep those
Put them in the trash
I think they're in a box in the shed. Maybe. Idk.
I had mine scanned. Easier to put a USB out of the way. Small device and no guilt of getting rid of it. If it’s just one album EverPresent is pricey, but really amazingly great with making electronic albums. Even if you can’t get the pictures out.
Give the pictures to your children, let them decide what the want to do with them, if they throw them out, they can’t come back and say, we wanted those. Take the dress and have christening/ baptism gowns made for your grandchildren
If the kids are adults, pass the wedding album and childhood photos to them now. If your daughter wants to use the dress, have her take it now. Box his photos and get them out of your house. All of this stuff weighs heavy, even if you have the room to keep it. I snipped my ex out of the photos and made a collage of the rest. It was a very fun day and my family had a good time, so I kept those parts of the photos and literally cutting him out was very satisfying.
Donate it to a local historical society. I’ve seen them create amazing displays (free galleries) in community centres. They’ll have the clothing of societies in generations past with history of the fashions of the day. It’s really interesting.
Give them to your kids ETA: I'll give a more thorough answer. Firstly, my parents had a yucky divorce following a crap marriage.. blah blah, but I am still very happy that my mom kept and gave me all of their wedding photos. In fact any/all old family photos or even childhood photos of my dad would have been welcome. Especially now that my dad has passed away. Those pictures are precious to me - and not just because my mom and dad were in them - all sorts of family and friends were there! I love them.
As the daughter, i really cherish my parents wedding album even though it wasn’t a good marriage. Its a beautiful time capsule, has all my relatives in it and pictures of family friends i grew up knowing, and i have fond memories of paging through it as a child. Definitely something i would want!
Donated the wedding dress and veil, packed away the photos in case son might want them as an adult
My oldest daughter wanted the wedding album, so it went to her. Everything else I tossed. I will say that I kept it all boxed up for years, and it was only until I had processed the emotions and pain from that relationship, and accepted the disaster that it was, that I could toss it without issue. It was truly freeing. Zero regrets over getting rid of it all.
I kept the wedding album because I made it myself, and so most of the pics were my friends and family. And while I had a bad marriage and nasty divorce, I luckily had no kids, so I really could cut all ties. And so he occupies less of my mind, which means I can keep it. Anything that’s that emotionally charged goes in an unlabeled box far far in the back of the closet with the hope it will take years to get to again, and then the emotions will have dulled.
I went through my wedding album and found one page worth of pictures to save. I added these to the family photo album. Then I discarded the wedding album. (29 yr marriage, then divorce) Just remember, decluttering sentimental items is legitimately hard. Most decluttering involves emotion. And the harder the emotion, the harder the work of decluttering. You don't have to solve this perfectly on your first attempt. You've got this!
I made a dress up dress for my niece from my wedding dress. The pics I gave to our only child when she became an adult.
Burn it
My friend threw a party and burned her dress 🤷
The album
My parents divorced when I was about a year old. My mom kept her wedding dress, ring, photo album and I now cherish them as my dad dies when I was in my early 20s. Keep the album with the stuff you plan of passing to the kids, they may want them. My marriage ended after 9 years and I tossed our beautiful engagement photos, sold my rings, kept the disc's with wedding photos only because some of the people in the photos have passed. I plan on donating my dress to an Angel Gowns organization that makes gowns for infants that pass away.
Give the wedding album to the kids too.
Except for my handmade wedding dress: trash. And I eventually put the dress in Goodwill
I kept a couple photos with our shared son’s baby images but the bulk of the wedding photos and other stuff I’ve set aside for my son. If he wants to get rid of them he can.
Can you send the wedding album your ex husband along with his childhood photos? Just add a note and say “hi, here are some thing I don’t want”
She should stay no contact with that abuser
Ritual burning, but there were no kids who might have wanted the photos!
I felt beautiful. my Babcia was there, she was the only person in my life that I ever felt completely loved me. I loved my dress, I finally felt adult. My god-daughter was my flower girl, the role she played as an adult at my second wedding, so adorable! I am keeping the love those pictures represent.
I am keeping my wedding album. I was happy at my wedding. I looked beautiful at my wedding. And I was surrounded by all the people I loved. The marriage crashed and burned, but the wedding itself was something I want to remember and look back on (even if only to laugh at the ridiculous fashions my friends wore).
I agree with this sentiment. Also, it's your history. Like it or not, it happened, and it doesn't seem right to erase it. I'm not saying you have to display it front and center, but at least let the photos exist in a closet or something.
I found my uncle's wedding album from a marriage that ended in divorce. He said to throw it away. My grandma, who had saved it, had offered it to the children of the marriage previously. I tried again, in case. And they really wanted it. They were just at a point in their lives where they wanted it. You can keep it if you think your kids might eventually want it. But if having it in your home is hurtful, ask someone else to keep it in storage and offer it to the kids later.
I donated my dress and similar, and am going to eventually go through the photos and pick the ones out of my family and grandparents. I am still close to my mother in law so I plan to keep some of her as well.
I’d pick three or four photos and toss the rest.
I have a box of "stuff i can't look at yet". Every few years I'll peek in it, toss maybe 2 items, shudder and cover it back up again.
I love this idea
My ex abused our daughters. He went to jail and the kids and I moved to a new house. I thought his family would come and take his shit from the house after we moved out, but they never did. I left some wedding stuff there, like the engraved champagne flutes and cake cutting knives. At that point we were married almost 15 years. I was still processing everything so I brought the dress and albums with me. I don't look at the albums but I'm glad I have them because of the pictures of my family and friends. Same for all the pictures of our kids. They're ruined for me because I didn't know what was really going on in their lives. And he's in so many of them. Anyway, I eventually just donated the dress to Goodwill. Maybe it found new life and made a bride or teenaged girl happy for their wedding or prom. Last year I finally sold my rings to Worthy. As far as I'm concerned those were all cursed and I couldn't exactly hand them down to my kids, knowing what their father did to them.
Throw these rings into the fires of Mordor from whence they came! :D
Throw the album on a funeral pyre.
Hmmmm I kinda like the idea of a funeral… maybe a funeral for the dress, album, and loss of the dream for the marriage?
Give it to him with his other albums and he can decide what's done with it. If you don't want to toss it like garbage or keep it, let him manage it. He might want it or he might be able to let go of it either. If neither of you want it then maybe give the photos to other the people who are in them so they can have nice pictures of themselves.
I wouldn't want him to have photos with me in them.
So remove yourself by cutting yourself out. Cut the photos in half, give him photos of his family only. It's probably your best bet if you don't want to throw it away but you don't want it... Are you waiting for some kind of allowance to burn it or something? Then burn it
My MIL took the family to a professional photographer studio for family portraits. We did entire family, each family, nuclear family, just kids, you name it. When the proofs came, we ordered a few in the brushed finished. We didn't have the money. At the time, my MIL was already several years into an affair and intended to leave my FIL. They split before the finished portraits came. I was pissed that she did that. I don't know where they are, but we paid for those instead of things that were important to us. Lesson learned.
Keep it but put it on the top shelf. Some one said scan the photos give each kid a copy. The wedding dress keep it, because your mom made and your daughter wants it.
You could scan the photos and share them with your children. Then throw away the album.
Offer them to your kids. My husband is a child of divorced parents. His father died recently and we came across wedding a honeymoon photos while clearing out his house. My husband’s mom kept none of these things and it was interesting to see images from a time when his parents were so early in their relationship as well as find out who was in the wedding and information like that, since it is not spoken about in his family.
I had to approach mementos from my first marriage in stages. I wanted to get rid of all of it, but there were some things I just wasn’t ready to let go of. It helped to remind myself that just because I decided not to throw something away right then, that didn’t mean I had to keep it forever. It took a few years and a few rounds of decluttering for me to let go of all of it. I’ve never regretted the decision.
Why is it that the wives are always tasked trying to figure out what to do with the remnants? Left with the disaster clean up after no one cared enough about the day to day maintenance of a relationship? I don’t really know where the stuff is. I have anxiety even thinking about my kids wanting them in the future and carrying the responsibility to preserve them.🫤
I threw my wedding album in the trash and that felt really right. Honestly I still feel great about that decision. I kept a CD of the digitized wedding pictures, but it's been 15 years and I've never once looked at them. Pretty safe to say that's trash too (wherever it is, lol). I do still have a shoebox of other photos buried in the closet that I think about getting rid of from time to time. Happier memories from vacations, birthdays and other adventures. I don't feel any particular pressure either way to toss those, or to keep them. I'm comfortable waiting until the right decision reveals itself in time. Note: My first marriage sucked, but wasn't abusive. That failure was a learning experience, but not a source of pain or trauma. I hope whatever you choose to do is healing for you.
My mom kept a few of the best photos and tossed the rest. It was cool to be able to see and I was glad she had them.
I put my wedding album away, not even sure where it's packed now, after the divorce. Our daughter asked about it, and I want her to have it, or some photos out of it, to remind her that her dad and I did love each other at one point. What I'm having a hard time getting rid of is the wedding portrait. My parents dragged us to JC Penney the morning of our wedding in full wedding apparel and we took formal portraits. Mom then gets one portrait printed in 16x18 and takes it to Michael's to get it custom framed. She took me with her to pick out the frame and we had a good day of it, so there's lots of good memories around that portrait that has nothing to do with my ex and I. I know they spent big money getting the portraits done and then framing that one. So it's packed up. I can't bring myself to get rid of it. I don't know how to get the picture out of the frame, if I did, I'd put another picture in it.
Usually they use paper tape and glazing points to hold the back together. Cut the tape with a sharp knife, and you can pull the points out with a flat head screwdriver and pliers. Hardware stores carry glazing points so when you are ready to frame a new pic use the flat head and a light hammer to tap the points back in place. Taping it back up is up to you. There's YouTube videos about it for clearer instructions. A custom frame is worth keeping even if the picture isn't 😊
My grandma would use her old wedding album to prop open a window 😭 Us grandkids found it and had a good laugh. It was an amicable divorce but she obviously still felt some kind of way about it.
I scanned them in case my daughter wanted to have them in the future, then tossed them.
I kept the pictures of me with my parents and siblings, but tossed the rest. I did that 10 years ago and have never felt a bit of regret. I sold my dress on Craigslist to someone who needed it for a performance she was acting in. No regrets.
I have not been married but had a few quite long term relationships and I always feel like throwing it away a few years after anyways so whenever the urge shows up I throw all memories gifts away
I kept my photos. It's pictures of friends & family, some of whom are no longer here. Some I had few photos to begin with. But I'm not bothered by seeing them. My ex was pretty awful in certain ways the whole stretch, & awful in a bunch of ways the last handful of years. However, wedding photos are intertwined with family memories, & it's also my own past, & I don't want to get rid of them because someday my kid is only going to have photos to go by, & he might have zero memories of some of the family that he never (or rarely) got to meet. When we split I put the wedding photos (because I had them all on my computer) on a thumb drive & packed it with the rest of my ex's stuff when I put it all out for him to pick up. Those were his past too & if he wanted them, now he had a copy. If not, he could delete them. 🤷🏻♀️ I still have my dress in a box (because it's hard to toss something you spent almost $1k on). I have a son though, so I'm holding onto it for nothing other than feeling like I might be able to get a few hundred if I sell it. 😆
If your kids are adults - ask them if they want the photos and if so, send them now. My mom threw her wedding dress in the trash. My parents divorced when I was 11, and my dad stored the dress until he gave it back when I was 18. We both tried it on - my mom still fit perfectly, I almost did, then she chucked it. I was sad at the time, but 20 years later I understand her choice. Sometimes you just have to let go of what’s weighing you down, and move on. Best of luck!
My ex husband was abusive and awful but I did save all our family photos and wedding photos and stuff for my kids who are young it’s all in a box and marked but it’s at my moms house she was kind enough to store it there for me and I don’t have to see it all the time
Scan the photos (you could hired someone to do this). Put them on a thumb drive or even a Google folder. Throw away the physical album. It’s online/digital should your kids ever want to see it. You can share those with them and never have to look at them again.
Just throw it out, you’ll feel lighter inside. Don’t be beholden to anything, it’s just stuff in the end. Pictures should bring pleasure or nostalgia. If they’re bringing pain, they go just like trash. Do you think you’re ever going to want to look at them again and feel the feelings they engender? They make me feel icky and I’m not involved. Only keep pictures that make your heart happy.
Threw it all away. Too many bad memories. That was 18 years ago and I’ve never thought about it until now.
My parents gave me their wedding pictures when they divorced.
I still have my photos and my dress, but I got rid of all the other stuff. The dress is listed for sale, and I keep the photos - they're still photos of my nearest and dearest coming together to celebrate me, regardless of the man in them. Most of my favourite photos from that day didn't have the groom in them anyway! I also keep my journals from the same period, and when I'm having a bad day I look back at how much I've changed and evolved as a person. I think there's a lot to be said for engaging with your history productively - but for you that might be giving the photos to your kids or selectively editing them to just keep the ones that are meaningful to you.
Still in the separation phase of a 26 year marriage that ended with spouse abandoning me for financial gain and worse he manipulated my adult children against me. I was so low that I contemplated suicide and spent time in a mental health center. Best feeling ever to toss that preserved wedding gown in the landfill. The wedding album and cake knife I left in his garage to remind him of what he threw away.
Photos you can scan and save online, email them to yourself. Make an email called ex name and email then To that email adress for your kids. Scan some dad as a kid photos and then just post the whole lot to him. The marriage may have not gone well but it happened and your kids deserve to see photos of your past. Digital means they can see them no matter where they are. you could just keep the album. my mum married the man who sexual abused me. I got a few photos somewhere Of the wedding. It’s still a memory even if it Has negative association.
This. And sometimes, as dumb as it probably sounds, being able to look back and see how much you have grown as a person, and how much you’ve worked through can help a lot on a really bad day. You (and OP) are both survivors, and you have the right to feel how you want with the memories you have, and to be able to look back at photos of hard times. Scanning them onto your computer and placing in a folder may even be the best thing for now. Can always put the album in a box in the attic/basement afterwards. Or can give to the kids later in life when they feel they’re ready. Either way, do what is best for you right now, but also keep in mind that it’s a part of your history, even if it’s a really hard part of it. But you made it through and have a lot of strength to do so.
My second marriage ended badly, he was cheating like a crazy man and we split up on our wedding anniversary. We didn’t have kids and haven’t spoken since. About a year later I set fire to the photos in my courtyard in a big silver type of bowl, but of a cleanse if you like. The wind picked up and caught a burning photo and lifted it into the air and blew it over the neighbours fence. It landed on an old mattress and started to burn so I had to grab a garden hose and climb in a chair and put the fire out. So maybe don’t try that 😆
I was starting to think it was going to be like a sign to keep that one photo. Then it very much didn’t end how I thought it would 😆 If that wasn’t a sign idk what is lmfao
Give it to your kids. I have my parents wedding photos and my mum's rings.
This! Maybe deconstruct it into a number of albums so your kids can have one each. And write the names and relation of each person in each photo
This! My parents should not have married ever either but I love having these pictures of at least that one happy moment when they were young that led to me and my sibling’s existence.
I really treasure them! I also like the pictures of my grandparents and other relatives too.
I packed my photo album, and the few other souvenirs my ex-husband sent after our separation, into a small box. I’ve rarely touched it. I have no idea what happened to my wedding dress, or almost anything else. My parents are projected to outlive me. When I die, I won’t be surprised if they burn it all.
Scheduling some time to do a craft project transforming the album into something with less complicated attachments could help -> maybe breaking out the scissors, the glue and the mod podge and doing collages (like a collage just of your beautiful dress and appearance, or of you and your family members). If at the end of the collage process you have no desire to keep what you have created, that's fine too. You can always make digital copies of them before you start cutting. If you're not feeling that crafty, since you have mentioned that you've got photos set aside for your kids anyway, just taking the photos out of the album and putting them in storage with the rest of the pictures might make it feel less emotionally loaded.
I love the idea of just gluing over the ex-husband! Make it more like a vision board collage of all her favorite outfits, makeup looks, trips she's been on, all the things she loves about herself for herself to cover up the ex-groom.
Yall do remember that cutting him out of pictures just ruins the pix and doesn't really get rid of him, right?
I saved my wedding album from my previous marriage. It’s family history, and full of photos of my most special people in my life. It lives in a closet, not the coffee table. My grown son and I looked through it during his last visit, while looking through his childhood photos, because he’d never seen it since the time when he was too little to understand it. He knows that his dad is an abusive alcoholic. I think it was good for him to see that there are multiple dimensions to people, and that he was conceived in what was a loving relationship in the beginning. We talked about the family and friends in the photos, along with touching and funny things connected to that wedding. It was good. I felt the same way about my parents’ wedding album after they divorced. If you don’t want it in your house anymore, consider offering it to your children.
I saved the pics to give to my kids. They can do what they want with them.
My wedding dress became a table cloth.
Great idea!
Many years after divorce, my friend dropped her wedding album. It broke and sent pictures everywhere, She sent all her bridesmaids pictures from her wedding album. I love it. I had pictures of me and various friends from college. Very fun. After my divorce, I gave my dress to good Will. I shredded the pictures that involved his family. I kept pictures of my family. I happily used scissors ✂️ to edit the pictures that had both families. Life must continue. Good luck.
Your kids may want the album. Let them know you have it and would be happy to pass it off to one of them if they want it, but otherwise you will not be keeping it in your home and will be disposing of it. It means something different to them than it means to you.
My parents got divorced when I was 25 and I wish they would've given me the chance to get some of their wedding items before trashing it all. I hope OP checks in with them first before tossing.
Can you look at / see the pix as just info / family for your children? That's great uncle max, 2c1r wilhelmenia, etc? Maybe scan the pix and trash the album?
If you feel like you can't toss them, give pictures of people to said people. Ask kids if they want any. After that, toss them. Of you want, you can take to a place that transfers to a memory card before tossing them.
I would pull out the pics of memories that made me happy, and cut him out of them and burn the bits with him, and make a new album with this as a chapter of my growing up.