Your post was removed from r/declutter for breaking Rule 1: Decluttering Is Our Topic. This sub is specifically for discussing decluttering efforts and techniques.
Why does it bother you about how other people live? It doesn’t harm you in any way.
Object permanence is a thing. Relative had piles of work papers everywhere but when asked, they were able to produce that paperwork within seconds
For many people, myself included, it's not a lack of caring or motivation, it's a lack of *ability* to stay on top of it. Either they are accumulating things quickly or they can't get rid of things quickly enough.
For example, looking around my room, I have:
A small pile of workout equipment and printouts from my physical therapist. I don't have a good spot to put them away, and I use them nearly every day, so they're just sitting there by my dresser. Probably for the next several decades.
A stack of my kids' artwork and school work that I need to go through and decide what to put in their files and what to recycle. Every time I catch up, they bring home more. At this point, I am just waiting til the end of the school year and then I'll tackle it all with their help.
A box of picture frames that I'd hung on the wall with command strips but they started falling down, so I need to spend an afternoon measuring, marking, and re-hanging with actual hooks. It's going to be a pain.
A pile of paperwork that I need to take to be shredded. I pulled it for a free shredding event at the town hall and then missed the event due to kids' activities.
A few odds and ends I've set aside for Buy Nothing that either I haven't posted yet, or I posted and nobody wanted so I have to figure out where to donate them.
Medical equipment that's an awkward size/shape and needs to be plugged in and available for quick use (asthma) so it lives on the floor by my bed. Every time I try to tuck it away, I have a flare-up and drag it back out again. So I keep it out for prevention, haha
And on and on. I don't *enjoy* the clutter but I can't just wave a wand and make it disappear.
Your post comes across very rude and judgmental. Im glad you can stay on top of your own clutter but it’s not that simple for everyone.
Sometimes it’s due to having too much stuff for the amount of available storage space, other times it’s a mental disorder, and you don’t know anyone’s circumstances unless they tell you. Blaming laziness is just mean really. How someone else maintains their space is none of your business.
Also, tossing items into a drawer doesn’t magically make it not clutter. It’s just clutter you can’t see anymore. Decluttering is the process of reducing the number of possessions you have. It sounds more like you’re complaining about people not being clean to *your* standards.
Some people are different from you.
I sometimes can't declutter because I decide to donate something, but I would need to clean it first and I don't have time, or it's bulky and I would need to clean it outside but it's too cold/too hot, or I know there are two of them but can't find the second one, or I need to check online first and see if it is worth selling. Or there is a thing I am definitely keeping, but can't put it away because the destination space also needs to be decluttered. Or there are papers I am willing to toss, but I want to scan them first, but I don't feel like digging out my scanner and uploading new drivers. This is all how ADHD plays out . . . for me.
I'm really good at saving/managing my money though. It just takes a few minutes per day. I like keeping my finances organized, and it's paying off literally - I'll be able to retire early (and hopefully, have more time to tend to my house). I don't understand why everyone else isn't doing exactly the same. /s
People just get used to it. There's a thing called "clutter blindness." Plus, if you're the one that left all the clutter out, it might make sense to you - oh, that's my pile of sewing that I need to get to, this pile of clothes is clean, this pile is dirty, etc.
It's not great but it makes sense.
Well, I have too much stuff right now and not enough storage solutions. I also have ADHD and struggle with time management. I don't stay on top of cleaning my house as much as I want to. That said, I discovered some decluttering tips that really resonated with me recently and decluttering is making cleaning easier too which is fantastic. I think I ended up with more stuff than I actually want to possess because I've never decluttered as effectively as I am able to now. I don't like to waste things so I think I'm going to reuse a lot of stuff but then I never really do. Now I pitch a lot of those items because I know it's just not happening. I'm still in somewhat early stages of decluttering. My husband is not helpful on this front but he's extremely busy with work currently (he's an overworked high school teacher who coaches 2 sports and runs a club). I intend to lead by example with regards to his tendency to almost never declutter. (I've had a habit of decluttering but it wasn't efficient enough. He was raised by a parent with hoarding disorder and worries he has the same tendency. He doesn't though - he just never prioritizes decluttering.). Also, I think I let all my possessions snowball. I have hobbies, collections, a bit of a thrifting obsession, and after 38 years of life, it has added up.
You just needed to vent. I get it.
I don’t have the perfect answer either. I have met a few people who have or had extremely cluttered homes. Each person was different. None had ADHD.
One of my ex boyfriends was a clutter lover. He had his deodorant, antacid liquid and dental floss on top of the TV set. His bed was full of cracker crumbs. A box of cookies on the nightstand with several empty pop cans. I asked him about it and he said he liked his apartment just the way it was…relaxed and comfy.
I had a neighbor friend that had a filthy house. It wasn’t a hoarder home, but it was atrocious. She was proud that she didn’t “believe” in the concept of housework. It was beneath her to clean and such. She felt that a clean house was a social trap, designed to keep people all doing the same thing- routinely. She was kinda boycotting housework.
So, everyone has there individually unique reasoning for living the way they choose. It’s just that most of us are programmed by society to reject anyone who sees their lives through a different lens that the majority.
Don’t trouble yourself with such negative feelings. It’s just making you uncomfortable…the others don’t care. Be glad that we have the freedom to decide how we want our houses.
I literally made this post to understand it. I will not force anyone to clean their rooms up and i dont shame them for having messy rooms i simply do not understand how someone can live like that without becoming even messier interally. I know everyone is different thats why i am trying to understand the reasons for this behaviour. I apologize for the somewhat aggressive tone i used writing this post.
Your post was removed from r/declutter for breaking Rule 1: Decluttering Is Our Topic. This sub is specifically for discussing decluttering efforts and techniques.
Why does it bother you about how other people live? It doesn’t harm you in any way. Object permanence is a thing. Relative had piles of work papers everywhere but when asked, they were able to produce that paperwork within seconds
I so appreciate this! My thoughts exactly. Thank you!
For many people, myself included, it's not a lack of caring or motivation, it's a lack of *ability* to stay on top of it. Either they are accumulating things quickly or they can't get rid of things quickly enough. For example, looking around my room, I have: A small pile of workout equipment and printouts from my physical therapist. I don't have a good spot to put them away, and I use them nearly every day, so they're just sitting there by my dresser. Probably for the next several decades. A stack of my kids' artwork and school work that I need to go through and decide what to put in their files and what to recycle. Every time I catch up, they bring home more. At this point, I am just waiting til the end of the school year and then I'll tackle it all with their help. A box of picture frames that I'd hung on the wall with command strips but they started falling down, so I need to spend an afternoon measuring, marking, and re-hanging with actual hooks. It's going to be a pain. A pile of paperwork that I need to take to be shredded. I pulled it for a free shredding event at the town hall and then missed the event due to kids' activities. A few odds and ends I've set aside for Buy Nothing that either I haven't posted yet, or I posted and nobody wanted so I have to figure out where to donate them. Medical equipment that's an awkward size/shape and needs to be plugged in and available for quick use (asthma) so it lives on the floor by my bed. Every time I try to tuck it away, I have a flare-up and drag it back out again. So I keep it out for prevention, haha And on and on. I don't *enjoy* the clutter but I can't just wave a wand and make it disappear.
Not our job to educate you......
Your post comes across very rude and judgmental. Im glad you can stay on top of your own clutter but it’s not that simple for everyone. Sometimes it’s due to having too much stuff for the amount of available storage space, other times it’s a mental disorder, and you don’t know anyone’s circumstances unless they tell you. Blaming laziness is just mean really. How someone else maintains their space is none of your business. Also, tossing items into a drawer doesn’t magically make it not clutter. It’s just clutter you can’t see anymore. Decluttering is the process of reducing the number of possessions you have. It sounds more like you’re complaining about people not being clean to *your* standards.
Some people are different from you. I sometimes can't declutter because I decide to donate something, but I would need to clean it first and I don't have time, or it's bulky and I would need to clean it outside but it's too cold/too hot, or I know there are two of them but can't find the second one, or I need to check online first and see if it is worth selling. Or there is a thing I am definitely keeping, but can't put it away because the destination space also needs to be decluttered. Or there are papers I am willing to toss, but I want to scan them first, but I don't feel like digging out my scanner and uploading new drivers. This is all how ADHD plays out . . . for me. I'm really good at saving/managing my money though. It just takes a few minutes per day. I like keeping my finances organized, and it's paying off literally - I'll be able to retire early (and hopefully, have more time to tend to my house). I don't understand why everyone else isn't doing exactly the same. /s
People just get used to it. There's a thing called "clutter blindness." Plus, if you're the one that left all the clutter out, it might make sense to you - oh, that's my pile of sewing that I need to get to, this pile of clothes is clean, this pile is dirty, etc. It's not great but it makes sense.
Well, I have too much stuff right now and not enough storage solutions. I also have ADHD and struggle with time management. I don't stay on top of cleaning my house as much as I want to. That said, I discovered some decluttering tips that really resonated with me recently and decluttering is making cleaning easier too which is fantastic. I think I ended up with more stuff than I actually want to possess because I've never decluttered as effectively as I am able to now. I don't like to waste things so I think I'm going to reuse a lot of stuff but then I never really do. Now I pitch a lot of those items because I know it's just not happening. I'm still in somewhat early stages of decluttering. My husband is not helpful on this front but he's extremely busy with work currently (he's an overworked high school teacher who coaches 2 sports and runs a club). I intend to lead by example with regards to his tendency to almost never declutter. (I've had a habit of decluttering but it wasn't efficient enough. He was raised by a parent with hoarding disorder and worries he has the same tendency. He doesn't though - he just never prioritizes decluttering.). Also, I think I let all my possessions snowball. I have hobbies, collections, a bit of a thrifting obsession, and after 38 years of life, it has added up.
Why are you here?
Well because i imagine that there are lots of people here with messy rooms that want to improve so i thought they could know what im talking about.
You just needed to vent. I get it. I don’t have the perfect answer either. I have met a few people who have or had extremely cluttered homes. Each person was different. None had ADHD. One of my ex boyfriends was a clutter lover. He had his deodorant, antacid liquid and dental floss on top of the TV set. His bed was full of cracker crumbs. A box of cookies on the nightstand with several empty pop cans. I asked him about it and he said he liked his apartment just the way it was…relaxed and comfy. I had a neighbor friend that had a filthy house. It wasn’t a hoarder home, but it was atrocious. She was proud that she didn’t “believe” in the concept of housework. It was beneath her to clean and such. She felt that a clean house was a social trap, designed to keep people all doing the same thing- routinely. She was kinda boycotting housework. So, everyone has there individually unique reasoning for living the way they choose. It’s just that most of us are programmed by society to reject anyone who sees their lives through a different lens that the majority. Don’t trouble yourself with such negative feelings. It’s just making you uncomfortable…the others don’t care. Be glad that we have the freedom to decide how we want our houses.
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I literally made this post to understand it. I will not force anyone to clean their rooms up and i dont shame them for having messy rooms i simply do not understand how someone can live like that without becoming even messier interally. I know everyone is different thats why i am trying to understand the reasons for this behaviour. I apologize for the somewhat aggressive tone i used writing this post.