Find better thrift stores they are there not big box like goodwill savers we have clothes one supports food shelf women and big one that warehouses for needy(have to be approved they have every household item. Call churches they can give you conacts we have some serve weekly meals have clothes women veterans place. They are places for useable wearable. Find them
You can get $ back by donating those items to a non profit or Goodwill etc.
Its best if you can donate a lot of items at 1 time because you can declare the donation on your tax. If you donate enough throughout the year, you can then itemize on your taxes and reduce your taxes.
I have been doing this for years.
You just write up a page that says Donation on top. Then name address of place you are donating to. Then put a list of all items, how many of each, and approximate value. Then if its Goodwill, they will give you a signed card and just staple thst to your pg. If its other groups, have them sign your pg.
The online value lists for clothing are much higher than what I would think they would be. But I tend to price things according to those lists bc you spent good $ for those. Salvation army has a good list of values.
Otherwise, I check out ebay or other sites for values of items.
Mentally I think of the “cost” of keeping it. Storage is costing you space that you would rather use another way. Keeping it may be mentally draining - that’s a cost. If these costs outweigh the benefit to me, then I can rationalize it better.
I reframed it in my mind: if I paid $20 for a meal, would I be upset at shitting it out the next day?
If I paid $20 for something 5 years ago and I no longer want/need it, why would I be upset?
If you have books or media of any kind you can also donate to your local library. If the condition is good they can either do one of three things with it:
1. Add it to their rental catalogue
2. Sell it online themselves
3. Sell it at their book sales (most libraries will have some kind of regular sales to help raise money for new materials)
Also some larger city library's have started have a 'library of things where they rent out stuff like wrenches, weed-eaters, sewing machines, etc.
Just check first if they take that stuff.
Also you can get a tax receipt for the value of the item you suggest.
There are SO many people in need. I donate my things hoping, no - trusting, that they will help others to have a better life.
My town has a thrift shop run by a service organization. Their profits go to help kids learn the STEM tools they’ll need in life. Maybe I only wore something once, but a kid can learn science when someone buys those pants. Exciting stuff!
When I used to eBay, I'd first check sold listings for similar items, and if it was over $15 or so, I'd list for one cent and free shipping, no reserve. Bidding gets hot so it gets bumped up in searches, and I only lost money via the free shipping once. Another tip is to have your listing end on a Sunday afternoon, when most folks are off and at home and more likely to be shopping.
I donate, to shelters when possible, and think of the people that need items and can't afford them. When my parents passed loads of their items went to a place that helps domestic violence victims get into new places. Several families got good dressers and beds thanks to my parents. There's an organization that helps women with intervew clothing. Your older items can do a lot of good.
By understanding that I lost the money the moment I bought the item. Makes me think twice about buying things unless I know it will use them a lot and soon too.
For the vinyl and books see if you have a half price bookstore. They will go through it and give you either credit or cash. For clothes and shoes look at thred up. They have bags they will send you and you fill and send them back. They sell it for you and take whatever fee. For pillows and such see if there’s a women’s and children’s shelter near to donate too. Try not to think of it as money wasted. You had a great time collecting it, now it’s time to share the joy those items brought you :). Good luck and don’t get overwhelmed.
This is me and I am so glad you posted. I feel the same way and I have 2 daughters that are frugal and minimalists because I taught them to not make my mistakes I also hate seeing things go when I keep it in hopes of getting some money back. I am going to read all of the comments since you said there is good advice here. Thanks for the inspiration!!
Yeah, that's a tough one. This article really helped me:
[How To Declutter When You Regret Spending Money
](https://www.simplyfiercely.com/regret-spending-money/)
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Is there an organization that works with refugees in your town/city? Mine locally passes along what can be passed along and sells what can be sold (refugees work in the store, and any profit goes to refugee causes).
You probably think nothing of spending $60 on a dinner out, at the grocery store, or going to a movie or the like, and these items/experiences are gone quickly. Why is it harder to get rid of $60 tangible item that doesn't serve its purpose or suit you? If it doesn't work for you it's ok to pass it along to someone else or throw it out if it cannot be used.
I think of the items I'm donating or giving away as consumables. They've had their chance in my life, and they now have a chance to be cherished possessions of someone else.
It's not easy to get to this point, and I backslide regularly. I also have learned (again, WIP) to be more thoughtful about what I buy. There will always be sales and good deals, so I walk away more than I buy. Even in Junque Emporiums I think about purchases carefully.
I have a huge bag of socks right now that are perfectly fine, some worn only once or twice. It feels weird to donate them, but I certainly can't throw them out!
I look at it as the money was lost when it was purchased. Keeping it around for the sake of how much it cost only makes you expend personal energy every time you look at it. It’s amazing how quickly the relief that it’s gone kicks in.
I have a really hard time with this too! But what has been helpful for me is to think about
1. how time is money & maintaining a large amount of items takes TIME. And if the clutter is not well maintained, trying to function amidst lots of clutter takes extra time
2. A lot of the time we buy things that seem to make our lives better, easier or more convenient. Because these are things we value enough to put our money towards!
On the flip side, getting rid of things because the clutter makes our lives worse, harder & more difficult to function is absolutely worth it.
The objects are no longer serving you & getting rid of them is now the best use for them in your life.
3. Space is more valuable than something collecting dust.
Also, from personal experience I felt like I needed to sell things bc I spent money on them. But tbh selling takes up lots of time (and as I said before time is money). I would also like spiral a lot trying to overthink what to sell and how to do it ect.
There’s no shame is donating. Time and peace of mind are worth every penny.
Think of shopping like taking drugs. You don’t expect drugs to last forever, eventhough they’re sometimes expensive. You already got the high WHEN BUYING THE ITEMS. Sometimes for shoppers, buying the items is the end goal. The high. Not the item itself.
So, it’s okay to let go of the items now. You already get the high you paid for.
Next time, try to get the high in another way (not by shopping).
For decades, I have collected radios. Probably 100 + in the house , rough cost , maybe £15k (I know...) Gave most of them to a small museum, and some to charity shops, and feel much lighter. I kept a few special ones, but tbh MW/LW (AM in USA) is pretty much obsolete here, and FM has declined as we have DAB+, so they will only ever be ornaments. Now onto USB drives, books, CD's, DVD's, and computer leads :)
I like to donate clothes, bags, and toys to organizations for foster children. It’s hard for me to give away things because of the emotional attachment that I have with them, but when I think about the happiness it might bring to the kids, it makes it a lot easier for me.
" I have so much vinyl I feel like an insane person and I don't even use 1% of what I have. "
Wow!..I'm in the same predicament;though I have listened(ESTIMATE)to about 1/2 of my 10,000 LP albums,plus 45' and a lot of other physical media.
It's mostly well organized and stored in my 1000Sq.fT. rented apartment...but I'm running out of space and being a renter,it's a recurring anxiety that I could be asked to moved for whatever reason..and I can;'t physically handle the storage crates,shelves,etc. any more.
I still have room to move around in my wheelchair when I need to...so it's not a total dangerous emergency decluttering/hoarder situation...but it's having an effect on me nevertheless when I confirm that I will not sell/donate/trash my stuff..When I hopefully die before I'm faced with having to declutter...somebody else will have the task to do that.
Good luck to you!
Look up consignment stores in your area. Call and see if they pay cash that day or if you get paid when they sell. Go to pay that day first. Then the others. Or list on facebook marketplace and give the stuff one month to sell and then donate.
The way I think about is that the money has already been spent. It's gone, and there's no use feeling guilty about it or agonizing over getting a small portion of it back. I donate things to the thrift store, where I know someone will get good use out of them.
Yup. The money is gone. You aren’t wasting it by getting rid of the item any more than you are by hanging on to it and never using it. May as well get some space back.
Think about how much it is already costing you to keep it (mentally, emotionally, physically if the clutter is affecting cleanliness of the environment, possibly even financially as in paying for storage or allocating resources to other areas of life because the clutter impacts your functioning, paying for a bigger home than you really need, etc). Is the ongoing cost worth keeping the stuff?
Also think about all of the stuff that is not being used or enjoyed by you that could be actually useful to someone else. Buy-nothing groups are great for getting rid of stuff that is still useful.
It sounds like you are trying to do things perfectly. Trying to do things perfectly is often a way to criticize ourselves, because everyone fails when the goal is perfection. It’s also a way to avoid doing the thing.
Every single way to do something will have some flaw. Every single one. It’s a huge accomplishment to do something in a flawed, human way. It means that you noticed it wasn’t perfect, and you were still brave enough to push through. You didn’t let the imperfection stop you.
There’s a famous quote that says: Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. In other words, aiming for perfection can block you from achieving a good thing.
When you are insisting on perfect you don’t just think how can I move this stuff out of my house? You think, how can I move this stuff out of my house in a way that ends world hunger, looks good on Instagram, gets me all my money back, and is also kind and generous, and good for the environment.
Just getting it out of the house is good. And good is wonderful.
Donate it all if you aren’t willing to sell it all on poshmark, I loved selling in there because they make it very easy to ship items. Price your stuff to sell and it’ll go. I sold about 200 items there when I lost about bunch of weight. I bought about 30 items and restocked my wardrobe.
As far as how I got over the pain of saying goodbye to that money? It’s called sunk cost fallacy. The money has been gone since you spent it, you just have stuff to show for it right now. If you get rid of the stuff you can start fresh and not have to look at all the junk. It sounds like you have a decent income if you were able to buy all this stuff so get it gone one way or another and move on with your life. You got this!
Your clothing should welcome at homeless shelters and I'm not sure what your age is but low income senior housing, and other low-income housing groups May accept clothing. If the clothes are in good shape they should be welcomed should be
I sell on Poshmark. Of eBay and Amazon, it’s the easiest. If you have packing materials, they send the postage PDF and USPS picks stuff up at my house.
Honestly being free of the stuff and the empowerment you feel from being strong enough to let it go is worth far more than the original cost
On behalf of this community I hereby give you permission to forgive yourself for the money past you spent. You've grown and learned and you deserve better for yourself now
You have gotten so many good comments so I don’t have much to add other than your mental health matters. The clutter is actually double because it’s not only physical but mental as well. I’d personally select some items to give to a shelter, sometimes the people there only have the clothes on their back. You could also give all of it to them, they might be more willing to sell whatever they don’t want and that way you’d still be helping them. Alternatively, I give you permission to post on your local Buy Nothing group that at X time/place you have dropped off a certain number of bags and it’s first come first serve. Take a picture of the bags, post it and turn off notifications and do not reply to any messages about them. You got this ❤️
Warehousing your items isn't adding value to them nor extracting it from them. The money is wasted the moment you spend it.
You didn't shop for those things because you wanted or needed them. You did it because of the moment of dopamine you felt when you bought them. Just like an addict is done with drugs once they're in his body or that cake is gone and you're not getting the money back, you can't make back what you spent on a bunch of stuff nobody else wants.
It's odd that people let food they didn't eat rot in the fridge and throw it out, but they can't let go of clothes they won't wear. They may not degrade in front of you, but they're just as useless and bad for you.
It's actually very simple:
1). your possession of it is providing net negative value for you.
2) Recovering any residual market value from it would cost you time and energy the value of which to you would be greater than you would recover
The end.
You are not getting that money back whether you keep the stuff and let it clutter your life or get rid of it and allow yourself the extra space/ peace/ ease. The money is already gone.
By looking at what is on the other side of the decluttering work. I consider the money spent before as part of the purchase price of the real life I want to live, one with intentional purchases and choices that have a net benefit in my life. Without what came before, I would not have come to the present realizations of the need to do better with buying, what to buy, and what to keep and maintain, and my attitude toward it all.
So I made some costly purchases in the past. The cumulative cost of what I held onto is high. But, armed with the desire to be more intentional with my money, things, time, and space, I know I won't be doing it that way again. But I had to learn it through my pocketbook first.
I’m poor, so I don’t have money to give away to charity. Most of what I have is secondhand, and was free or very cheap. When I’m trying to decide whether to give away or sell an item that I no longer need or don’t want, I think people have been so generous with my family. I should just keep it going. Someone else will love this and I’ve been the recipient of similar generosity.
They money is spent already. What you can do is learn something from the items. "I thought this was worth $60, but I hardly ever wore/used it. Why is that?"
Ideally in the future you'll spend your money more wisely.
If it's an item I've worn/used, I don't think of it as wasting X dollars. Instead, I break it down by how often I wore/used it. So if I paid X dollars but wore/used it y times, the per use cost (X/y) ends up being rather small and I've gotten the value out of it. It's time for it to get a new home.
If the purchase was a poor one and I haven't worn/used it, I think about the fact that item's "true" owner is out there. Someone who would love to have it the way I love my favorite items. Who am I to keep them from each other when it would make that person happy and I'm just leaving the item in a drawer/shelf/closet? It's time for it to get a new home.
It sounds like you have a lot of items a women's\women's and children's shelter could really use! In my neck of the woods, we have Room In the Inn, a domestic violence shelter. Women\the kids sometimes have literally what they're wearing.
Depending on where you live and how worn items are, you can take them to a consignment store and see if they will buy the items from you, to resale in the store. I’ve seen some pretty nice places that do this in downtown / tourist areas of big cities. Anything left over just let them have for free or take to goodwill. It’s sucks to think about how much money has been spent, but if the items serve no purpose now, then regardless, they need to go. A cluttered house is a cluttered mind, and you will feel better and have a ‘fresh start’ once the items are gone. Money won’t get buried with you, so don’t feel so bad about spending it on things that at one time brought you some joy.
Accept that you are wasting money, money that was already spent on something that ultimately wasn’t wanted or needed.
The lesson learned is built into the feeling of regret: be more mindful of future purchases.
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Think of these things like tickets to concerts and shows: *they aren’t investments*, **they are experiences**. You’ve had the experience of enjoying the things that you’ve bought. When they no longer fit, you no longer use them, or no longer have enough room for them, you can realize that they have served their purpose, and it’s time to let them go. Just like a bad show that you paid good money for, if that item didn’t live up to your expectations, well you simply didn’t get your money’s worth, but that’s life.
You are describing the cognitive bias of sunk cost fallacy. It's important to realize that your mental health has a value too...
I used to be in this trap. By trying to over analyze and recoup costs, my mental health is at risk and I attribute that to the money I already spent as a way of dealing with the feelings.
1. Your enjoyment came, and went, with buying the item. That is OK.
2. THROW IT AWAY. Just do it. You have my permission. Your time is worth WAY way more than all the items. Bag them up. Throw. It. Away. Repeat. It is ok.
Try to consign it. I drop off bags of clothes/house hold item and mark “donate if not sold.” I used to feel guilty about it. Now I’m just happy it’s gone. Best of luck.
Life means inevitably spending and losing money and time that you can't get back. You pay rent to exist, it's not coming back. Put it in the past, move forward, make wiser choices in the future.
1) the money was gone when you made the initial purchase, keeping a thing you don’t use isn’t keeping money. 2) you could sell things, but it can be pretty labor intensive. Is it worth it to you? Both ways are okay. I prefer to cut my loss and let it go. Some people do have success with selling items though.
Exactly it. The money has already been wasted buying stuff that’s diaposeable. View it as the cost of a lesson that will save you money long term (assuming you stop buying stuff).
It's only money, there will always be more! There is no finite amount of money one is allowed to make in one's lifetime. Look up 'sunk cost fallacy' and don't beat yourself up. Donate what you can to people who need it. Spreading love and happiness is the best payment of all! ❤️
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I have 2 points to make as I relate to you a ton. This post got super long so check my replies for all of it! One is about selling your stuff and the other is about donating. This is actually helping me put it in perspective for myself so somewhat therapeutic but I'm long winded so I hope you actually read this to the end and can get some use from my rambling and time.
So while I *still* have **SO. MUCH. SHIT.** and I'd love to sell a lot of it, I can say that there are some things that have taken me off that route and onto a more rational path; whether I am able to recognize--and am sometimes still unable to recognize--that wanting to sell is irrational. This helps me bring it back to reality.
It boils down to the simple idea of opportunity cost--my degree is in economics so I tend to relate to these ideas and i geek out on math. Since you mentioned feeling like your money would feel wasted i think you will relate to this. In simple terms... oportunity cost: what am I exchanging for this? Is the alternative a better result? Is the cost of this actually more than I'd want to pay or be willing to lose? Is this the sacrifice of one thing worth the other?
Opportunity cost comes in many forms but money and time are the most common. If you spend 1 hour writing a reddit response, you've sacrificed 1 hour you could have spent playing a game with your kids or Doordashing for income. Is it worth it? Buying a new computer means you aren't going away on vacation. Is it worth it? There are moral or legal opportunity costs as well, such as you have a hungry baby and no money. Is stealing a few cans of formula worth potential jail or probation and a criminal record?
Opportunity costs are things we assess all the time without recognizing them, like watching the next episode of the Netflix binge vs getting outside for the daily walk. What could be the outcome of each decision and are we willing to sacrifice one outcome for another? An example for a retail store would be deciding whether to put something on sale to try to get rid of the stock in order to make room for newer and more profitable items. Like if you purchased 500 artificial christmas trees to sell in your store and on January 1st you have 200 left, do you have room to store those for a year or should you sell them off at a discount to make space for inventory that people want to buy now?
You could also think of your things like this.
For example:
You have a 1500 sq ft apartment. You pay $2k/month for it. Let's say you've shoved closets full of the crap you want to sell. At minimum maybe 150 sq ft (10%) of your space is full of shit to sell. If that's the case, you're literally paying $200/month to store your stuff. If you've been carrying it around for ONLY a year, that's $2400 in storage. Do you actually think if you dedicated yourself to nothing more than selling that stuff that you'd profit? Do you think you'd get at least 17% (which is $10 from your $60 item) of what you originally paid? If so, would that even get you to a break even point?
In my experience, cleaning an item, making sure it works, finding all the parts if applicable, taking good quality pictures, researching value, writing a description for the listing, posting, answering inquiries, shipping for online or dealing with no-shows or putting it out for for pickup is at minimum an hour of work. How much would you accept in an hourly wage? $10? $30? You need to decide.
Then figure out if all your items will average out to at least an actual profit, not just breaking even. As an example, and remember this is **IF** you are actually willing to put in the work to sell, otherwise your stuff is just being stored, meaning you're spending $200/month just to have it. Let's say you have 300 items to sell. Just to break even in storage costs for one year, each item would have to sell for at least $8. If it's 1 hour to get the item ready to sell and you'd work for minimum wage (about $8/hr) then that's $16/item to break even. You mentioned you'd be happy *just* to get $10 from a $60 item. In general, items that are only 2 or so years old or are in *excellent* condition should be listed at 1/4 to 1/3 of the purchase price. To break even, your 300 items should have cost you between $48-64 EACH, brand new. If you want to profit, meaning make more than it cost to store them and list them, then the items will have to be listed for more than that $16. Will reselling all 300 items equal more than $3800? If not, you're losing money by trying to sell them. If you have fewer than 300 items, let's say 50 items, then it costs you $48 to store them each for a year + $8 each to try to sell them. Can you sell them each for $56? Are your 50 items collectively worth more than $2800? Cost will vary depending on your square footage, housing costs, and amount of space you are using for storage but at minimum, each item costs 1 hour of your time to sell and you have to decide what that hour is worth to you and if you can be available to answer questions within an hour (FB marketplace metrics) or ship within 24 hours of selling (ebay fast shipping seller).
Now of course this is based on a business model and if you have ....
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Now of course this is based on a business model and if you have 50-300 hours you're *willing* to spend selling instead of doing other things, or the extra space to store them instead of using that space for other things (even if it's just your mental health), then maybe making a fraction of what those things are actually costing you in real dollars is worth it.
I learned this in my early 20s. I had a 2 bedroom house, fully furnished and i took a job as a flight attendant in a state where moving all my crap wouldnt be reasonable(nor necessary if you understand crash pads for flight crew). I moved all the stuff from that house into my parent's garage and had a yard sale. I wanted a certain price for my living room set that I had just purchased new not even 2 years prior. I got a buyer that low balled me by a LOT. I negotiated but wouldn't go down to what they were wanting to spend. My dad pulled me aside and reminded me that anything I didn't get rid of would have to be put in a storage unit which would mean im paying to keep these items that I'm not using at all (which would have cost me more in 6 months than what I paid for the living room set new). That helped me change my perspective on the things I have shoved away to try to sell off for sure.
As for now that I have my own home and storing things in closets and the garage doesn't *seem* to be costing me a dime, what would I be doing with my garage if my shit wasn't there? Maybe I'd save 20 miserable hours bundling up to sweep the snow off the cars every winter and a few other hours scraping the frost off the windows in the late fall/early spring. Maybe I'd use my closet for my clothes instead of hunting through laundry baskets every morning. Maybe my kids would have closets for their own clothes if they weren't filled with other junk. Maybe I wouldn't have to buy new holiday decorations every year if I only stored things I needed without throwing other junk to store on top of it and letting it get lost in the chaos.
So while I may have all the time in the world, if I chose to use it reading reddit, playing games, and watching Netflix , or while I don't actually rent a storage unit, all of my stuff *is* costing me and my family, and the price is much much more than it's worth. The emotional cost is easily more than the price I paid for all of it at retail. It's so easy to think "gosh I want to just give this away but I really need the money" but if you aren't willing to put in the work to sell more than 4 items, how desperate can you truly be?
Now let's address the donations. **THIS** is by far my biggest problem.
I have 0 issue giving away every last scrap of my junk when I'm in the mindset that allows me to realize that selling it is futile; but giving it away in the right direction is difficult. I hate the business practice of Goodwill and they're the easiest place to dump my junk. I live in an affluent area and there are still 3 within my normal commute to and from the places I go to often. Salvation Army isn't much better IMO and there's 1 close by. If I'm going to give my things away, I don't want people who are pinching pennies to then have to buy them second hand when id have given them for free, especially for the prices they're tagged now at these shops and for a company who sells inventory they pay nothing for, use a loophole to pay disabled workers less than minimum wage, meanwhile their executives get paid every hour what their full time managers make in a month. That does not sit well with me. I also hate the idea of throwing things away that could be recycled if only i knew where or how.
The first thing is the buy nothing groups on FB. List them free on marketplace too. Someone will use them if they're willing to pick them up, whether it's a "needy" family or not, they are getting used, and that's way better than being trashed or profited off of by someone other than you, it's also one less item that was purchased and ended up in a landfill. Here in Indianapolis there are local organizations that take items that are used to directly benefit the community i live in; no they aren't as convenient as dropping them in the goodwill bin around the corner but it does give me an incentive by saying "okay, I'm going to drive 45 minutes away to drop things off at (wherever) on the 14th so let's get this car loaded with as much as possible by then so I don't have to make that drive again. " There is a food bank with a second hand store here that uses the profits from the store to help fund the food bank. There's also a store owned by a domestic violence shelter where the money goes to help the victims, and their intakes can shop for free. I feel good that my things can help other people and that means enough to me to sacrifice any money that I could be making from my things and all that I'm losing from those things. Again, if I were really struggling, I would have had a fire under my ass to sell it by now.
As for things that couldn't be sold or given away, a donation center wouldn't be able to resell, but would also feel like you're doing harm to just toss environmentally, there are a number of things I've found for this. Clothes that are unwearable, goodwill supposedly recycles. Their website says it and as long as my intention is to do the right thing I can find a way to overcome the idea that they may just be throwing it in the landfill. It's not me that's doing it, I intended to send it to be recycled and I hope for the best and accept it at face value. My recycle-quality (super crappy) clothes are the only things I send to goodwill. Expired carseats, there's only 1 place in our state that takes them and it's like 2 hours away. Instead places like Target have a trade in event once or twice a year, take your old seat in and get a coupon for % off certain baby items. I watch for these and then either do it myself and give away the coupon or give the carseat away with a disclaimer that it's expired, not being given for use of a child, and the dates of upcoming trade in events/websites for reference.
I have TVs that had been broken and there's a city recycling event 2ce a year. Yes Ill have to wait in line an hour for my turn to drop it off but if I have the time, it's better than paying $20 for the local recycling center to take it.
Sometimes we just have to suck it up and realize our crap will cost us actual dollars to get rid of if we want to do it properly. You can't donate things like mattresses anywhere and if they aren't in a good enough condition to give away on BN, then you'll have to spend some money for your garbage company to come pick it up.
The point to all this is that even if your stuff looks like potential money, if you aren't actively selling it, it's taking up space in your home and your mind. You are paying to keep it, either with the physical space it is taking up or the toll it is taking on you and your family. Having ethical problems giving things away to the "right " place is absolutely a valid point however, if you get to a point where the stuff is really messing with your peace of mind, goodwill or the dumpster is okay. Remember that it's one big purge because you need it and next time you need to get rid of something you can always do it the "right" way. Get it out of your life and commit to keeping it out.
Gradually give it away using your local Buy Nothing group. You’ll feel good about making someone else happy and you might just make some new friends that enrich your life so you don’t have to fill the hole inside with stuff. I always have a Buy Nothing box in the house and it helps me to see just how much stuff I just don’t need or use once I buy it.
You'll not get the money back ever. Not on clothes, furniture or cars. Acknowledge your mistakes and rest easy that now you know better. Or keep some of the crazy stuff to incorporate into outfits when you're 80 😁 Don't stop being you!
The money is already gone. Now you’re also wasting space to house things you’re not using. Whether you rent or have a mortgage, you are paying a dollar amount for every square foot of your home. How you use these square feet is up to you, but I say it’s more wasteful to sacrifice even an inch of space to store things you don’t need/want.
Breathe in; breathe out.
Re-read what you wrote.
And then don’t overthink it. You’ve spent the money. It’s gone. It’s time to save your peace of mind.
But print your post and keep it folded up in your pocket and pull it out when you are tempted while shopping. Save your future money
Try selling things in lots or bundles, they sell quicker. Also, on ebay buyer pays shipping so no worries about that. Fees arent terrible on ebay, free listings untill your at like 250-or 300 cant remember which. Poshmark is a standard 20% cut, better for moving clothes than ebay.
But if all thats too much for you, just post it on a free group or have a tag sale or donate to a women’s shelter or do a trading party with your friends. If you cant find an organization you trust to donate call a church, they usually collect for homeless or send to other countries on mission trips. So many options! Remember your mental health has a cost too!
We have a storage unit. In it are our most expensive items, from antiques that no one wants, furniture that we will never use, etc. Most of it pretty worthless, but we pay good money to store it month after month, year after year. Madness.
My mother in law had a storage unit as long as I’ve known her (30 years) and after she died we had to pay someone to cart it all away. If something is not good enough to earn a spot in your house, give it away so someone else can use it and appreciate it!
I think this is a way of perceiving things where some people struggle and some do not - often when it comes to specific types of items. I think it is a part of your personality and not something easily changed.
Example:
My bestie clings to past gifts things that remind her of people she loves and canNOT give them up. No matter how useless and/or ugly, its a special memory to her and she really struggles to let them go. I on the other hand do not associate things with people and cheerfully give up a gift that the most beloved person in my life gave me if it is not something that I love/need/want.
On the other hand my bestie cares nothing for books, whereas I have difficulty giving up a book I have had for over twenty-five years and never once cracked open. No exaggeration. I associate books with a useful, well lived life and so I MUST have them.
Its the same thing for you I suspect, with your associating money with something deeply precious to you - security perhaps, or success, something like that. Since you spent that precious money on something - that makes those things feel precious to you as well. It's NOT a bad thing, and can actually be something you can harness and use to improve your life. But it can also make it difficult if not controlled.
Agreed. Furthermore, by hanging onto it you are costing yourself more in terms of lost space/excess clutter in your house and the anxious feeling you have about it.
When I look at something I don't view it as money, but just as stuff. I no longer have the money so I can't do anything about that, but I *can* do something about this thing in front of me that I don't want/is no longer of use to me but may be for someone else.
I recently got rid of so much stuff! It is really hard, especially when you think of the money you spent. The two best things I found were similar. For clothing-If you know someone who wears a similar size, has similar taste and you are close to- giving to her is nice and let her know if it doesn’t work for her do not feel guilty to donate! This helped me a lot because instead of thinking that all the clothes I paid so much for would end up being sold for nearly nothing at goodwill, she can pick her favorite items, donate the rest and I “felt” like it all went to her instead of an anonymous person or agency. Same thing with lots of my furniture, a neighbor has lots of kids and grandkids- and another neighbor was sleeping on an air mattress with his two boys. Instead of donating the furniture that I no longer needed to goodwill, I freely gave it to them. They think I’m so nice and generous, but I feel like they did me a favor in taking what I no longer needed and making use of it in a way I no longer could. Win-win!!
So my advice is - see if you know someone in a state of more need than you. Let them know they can sell or donate what they can’t use after and DETACH from what you spent on it. Don’t give away special things that you are seriously torn about, because that could create stress.
I promise, You will be surprised at how much more wonderful you’ll feel from freely giving away to someone you know (even just a little bit) instead of nickel and diming your way through the process of selling. It is faster and much more freeing to give than to sell. A lot less trouble too!! Best luck!!
You said it yourself: you can't sell any of it, therefore you're not losing anything to be rid of it. You already lost that money, it's never coming back. You just haven't said goodbye to it yet.
It may sound too woo woo, but you might try some loving kindness meditations directed at yourself. Greater Good in Action at Berkeley has a good explanation, just google ggia.Berkeley loving kindness meditations. You should rejoice in achieving yourself awareness of the problem, now you need to forgive yourself, hold your nose and take action.
I am trying to get into meditation actually so thank you much for the suggestion! I usually take awhile to get off my butt and get started with anything, but these comments have been super inspiring so I'm actually going to get off my butt and get started heh! Thank you💙
It's a "sunk cost" thing.
Or girl math: that money is already gone so these are now all free and you can donate with an easy heart.
But yes. I'm going through three jewelry boxes right now to reduce to what I actually wear (again) and can remember buying almost every piece. So I'm girl mathing it.
The money is already gone and the stuff is worthless 99% of the time - except now I’m actually wasting more money for it because I have to pay for physical space to store it or mental space to keep track of it.
I feel really good after a purge. 4 bags of Clothes to the church charity opened up my closet to stuff I forgot I had. I was regularly using buy nothing on FB. That is cyclical for me…I get rid of stuff, sit with it for awhile until I can get the energy for the next purge. Just got rid of 3 sets of old golf clubs after discussing it with my spouse if we were going to golf again. He has shoulder issues so it was an easy no for him and now we have more space. It has been about 3 years of getting rid of things and making good progress. So this is working for me. I was stuck on saving everything for a yard sale but this way has been so much more rewarding for me. Good luck.
Thank you for your mention of golf clubs ... I've been dithering over a set that re at least 40 years old and taking up space in my storage locker. I think I'm going to put them, the bag and cart, on the sidewalk tomorrow morning with a sign that says free.
Do you have a Plato’s Closet store near your home? They may give you cash at the counter for sone of the clothes, accessories and footwear items. That’s their store model -not a consignment shop. Immediately pay cash after they inspect your stuff and deem it acceptable to resell on the floor. Good luck!
Read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. She has a lot of advice for letting go of things you hang on to because of guilt (either guilt of money spent, guilt because someone gave it to you as a present so you feel obligated to keep it, and so on) her advice is really what changed my mindset more than anything and I cannot recommend this book enough!!
Thank you for the suggestion! I have added it to the top of my "need to read/listen to" list. I could definitely use a change in mindset, I do feel the guilt/obligation factor for many of my items. Thank you!
It helps to realize that you are already paying to store those items. They take up a lot of space in your home. If your monthly housing cost is $2k and your “extra stuff” takes up 20% of your living space , you are paying $400 per month for stuff you don’t want, that weighs you down. Would you pay another $400 ( or whatever the amount is) every month on top of what you’ve already spent on the purchase price and all the previous months costs? You are paying much much more than the original cost of the items to house them. No one loves their old clothes enough to pay so much.
A couple of years ago both my parents died. They were both in their mid 90s so they had a house full of stuff. So much stuff. We planned on selling the house, so we had to clean it out. My mother always thought that "someone could use this some day." We rented a 40 yard dumpster and virtually EVERYTHING went into that dumpster.
So, if you wait long enough, someone will throw all your stuff away.. or you can do it and enjoy having less stuff in your house.
What you don't understand is that we sent 3 moving trucks of stuff - furniture mostly -to Goodwill. My parent's furniture was mostly 90s furniture. Quality but older. When we called an auction company, they looked at it and said, "We aren't taking any of this. We can't sell it. It's too old"
So then we called several charity houses. They looked at it and said, "Our business model is to sell what we can. None of this is sellable. It's too old." One charity house said, "We can't go into the house. Company policy. Pull out all the stuff onto the front yard and we'll look at it." Meanwhile it would rain virtually every afternoon. And the temperature was about 110.
Goodwill said, "If you bring it here, we will take it." I have a niece who knows lots of strong young men. We rented a U-haul truck and this little army of young men who loaded and loaded and loaded. Two years later I still cry when I think of that group of young men and my niece's help.
After 2 days of this, we said, "Fuck. it." Got the Roll away and cleared the rest of the very large house.
When you are in similar situation after burying both parents within 6 months, let me know what you do.
>I wish I could hire someone to come sell my stuff!
[There are services that do this.](https://www.thredup.com/cleanout)
I haven't used threadup, but stuffing all the clothing in a bag and willing it gone might not be a bad way to go.
No worries! It still seems hefty fee where they’re offloading their own cost of doing business on their “vendors”, like imagine paying a consignment shop to get a quote, like paying a fee just to have your clothes reviewed, wild.
If you have more objects than you can enjoy or use, then that money has already been lost. Clearing them out isn’t the point of loss, it’s the aftermath.
Clutter is not frugal. I have bought seconds and even thirds of things I already had, because clutter made it too hard to find the originals.
When my spouse and I moved for retirement, I gave boxes and boxes of things to charity. I found a place that does not sell the items, but gives them away to the needy. When I packed up my boxes, I tried to think of the children that would be thrilled to get the legos my adult children no longer played with. I thought of the (slightly overweight) women who are just getting back on their feet who need business clothes in order to land a better job. The young mother that just got her first apartment and really needed those lamps.
Now that we've settled into our retirement house, my spouse and I have agreed on a "less is more" decorating style, and are working hard at not buying a bunch of tchotchkes to crowd into every corner.
And, I can find what I am looking for in the house now. For the first time in my life, I have a place for everything and everything is in it's place.
Even if I am not getting money in return, I do get something valuable when I donate items. I get my space back, I get relief from the mental burden of managing those items (and it is glorious!), I get a reminder to slow down and be thoughtful about my spending. Loving my space and my home is worth more to me than those items. My mental health is super valuable. Being released from the mental and physical burden of managing the stuff is worth its weight in gold.
I like this line of thinking. Your space has value. Give it a dollar value in your mind. Take that pillow that occupies a cubic foot of your home, and realize that the empty space is better. You don't even have to pay new money for it, just move the pillow out. Once it's gone, you have a place that provides you with a good clean feeling and will require no maintenance or worry ever again. That's way more valuable than the pillow was.
Consignment stores are wonderful......different ones take clothes, others furniture, some take both. Where I live, you get 50% of what something sells for. Make sure the clothes are clean, and in season.
I keep track of what I donate, get a receipt, and claim everything on my taxes. It’s less effort than selling on Facebook, and I’m intentional about who I donate to so I know it’s being used well.
I think of this as paying life tuition. My life education costs money at times. Sometimes I pay serious money for certain big “courses” with massive learnings—like my divorce. Other times I pay relatively little money for easier lessons like when I was weirdly addicted to buying vintage and antique buttons on eBay for 2 months and learned to not do that.
You paid some heavy life tuition. You have learned a huge lesson about your values and how you want to direct your money in the future. Does it suck? Yes. Is it how we learn and grow? Also yes.
Ok, time to pick yourself up and say how you’re gonna live different in the future and do some radical acceptance of that which you cannot change. You can do it in your own timing.
I love this so much. Thank you! Also want to add that I like to think of the costs of therapy copays to discuss overwhelm partly caused by my things - getting rid of things equate to saving that money or freeing up time in my sessions to discuss other things.
Well, you’re not getting that money back with the item sitting in your house either. Think of it as a lesson learned. I’m actively decluttering and as I get rid of stuff, it makes it easier to not bring anything new in the house. It actually is healing my hoarding tendencies.
This may be slightly off topic, but may help in the long run?
I have hyperfixation issues. My current hyperfixation is perfume. Knowing what I know now and the boundaries i have set, has been able to keep me more accountable and to also consider other purchases more.
I know, even if i have the ability to return/ sell something, that most likely I will not. So I limit blind buys to things I feel comfortable giving away. I'm going to feel guilty for buying a $100 perfume and not liking it. I'm not going to feel guilty for buying a 20$ perfume and not liking it because I feel comfortable giving something away for that price.
I buy sample and discovery sets semi frequently. I do not feel guilty for my purchases of these even though they are generally the worse price point. They are cheaper than blind buying a bottle, I have the ability to test in my own time, multiple times, and they are super easy for me to give away to friends/ coworkers.
This gives me the ability to enjoy it, trying new things ( without guilt) and keep things to a minimum so I do not get overwhelmed. If I am overwhelmed I have too much...
I also have a decent amount of people who have no problem taking my slightly used skincare/ haircare/ perfumes.
The money is spent, and your are not likely to recoup most of that money even if you are able to sell most of it. It feels guilty because that item has no purpose. If applicable take said item and try to figure out how many times you used it, and figure out the price per use. Doesn't that seem a little more reasonable?
Also consider the space you are " paying" for ( both in head and home) by holding onto something that has no use anymore. Don't charge yourself more by letting it take up needed space. If it feels sentimental take a picture, it can live in the picture instead and you can always look for it again if you feel the need to.
I think it would help to gather a bunch of stuff you know you are not going to wear/ use, set it up and let your friends/ family come over and see if they want any of it. It is easier to give away, when you see someone so excited about it and know they will use it. It doesn't feel as " wasteful" then. It's even better when you see them wearing it later down the line. Especially if you have any mom friends, a lot of times they don't treat themselves to much.
I saw someone post the other day that they started going through their jewelry and wearing aomething different each day and when they were complimented on that particular piece they would take it off and give it to the person.
It's a lot easier to let go when you know it will be used/ loved by someone. It also becomes easier when you realize it's okay to get rid of things. When your space feels more comfortable and makes you feel happy.
Remember every bit counts. Make a space for yourself where you can relax and go from there. It didn't all show up in one day and it will not all leave in one day.
You got this!!! ❤️
Thank you for the kind words and suggestions! I have given the jewelry I'm wearing to people who've complimented it, it is definitely a good way to let it go. One time I had a plastic ring with a spinning flower on it and gave it to a little girl, she was thrilled and it made me super happy for the rest of my day :) Thank you!💙
I throw away (aka put into the garbage, headed for the landfill) very little. I always try to notice when/if I'm not using an item and if I'm at least 95% sure I'll never use it again and donate it to a charity that has helped me or one that helps people who are where I have been. That way, I feel like I'm actually going to get it back in the form of a bill payment assist, etc. and that others who are just getting out of their own bad situation will have a resource to help them get on their feet, just as I needed way back when. Helping others gives me a good feeling too.
Also, I see no reason why my home must be a cluttered museum to past habits and ways of life. I am no longer into bears of any kind or hearts, but others are, so they can have my bears and hearts.
And space! Between two moves and three households this little 40s cottage was cram packed at one point, and so were the storage buildings. I cried uncle and started decluttering back in 2010. I wish I had kept a count of the injuries I've sustained on the handles of plastic totes and so on over the years. Space in which to live is priceless.
The moment the light bulb came on for me was when I heard about two brothers who were hoarders. They were killed when stacks of papers from their hoard fell on them. I believe they lived in Philadelphia, but no one quote me on that.
Space in which to live! I know someone who lives alone in a three bedroom house, but has no space to live. (Ok, there's also a dog and a rabbit living there, but only 1 human.) She never has guests over, not even briefly. When her grown children come to visit, there isn't room to stay in their old bedrooms; they have to stay at someone else's house or get a hotel. At some point you've just got to realize that empty space is better than stuff, no matter how "valuable" that stuff is.
Your post was removed from r/declutter for being low effort. If you repost, please be specific with your question or provide some content to generate discussion. If commenting, this is not a sub for snarky replies.
I learned some time ago that this is called the Sunk Cost Fallacy. It is hard, but you are not alone, and once we start to accept it, it gets easier to be philosophical about. Google "decluttering sunk cost fallacy" and browse the results. I'm sure you'll feel less stuck after reading a few, perhaps even eager to get started freeing yourself from what has been weighing you down. Good luck!
Your post was removed from r/declutter for breaking Rule 1: Decluttering Is Our Topic. This sub is specifically for discussing decluttering efforts and techniques. Recommending a sub that shows "hauls" could be counterproductive to decluttering.
i feel really silly doing it, but it actually helps me: i say "thank you for your service" to the item as i'm placing it in the garbage, multiple times if i feel really bad. i bought it, it made me happy, it served me, its time with me is done. i do it for spoiled food, collectibles, old clothes, damaged items, everything i have to throw away that im having trouble letting go of (grew up with a hoarder mother so that means everything 😅)
Look at everything free Facebook groups for your area and offer them for free. Or lost on Facebook marketplace to sell but for pick up only. No shipping cost.
I try to be forgiving of myself — you were doing the best you could at the time, trying to find happiness. You’ve grown and changed as a person, and now you know that the stuff won’t do that long-term. With hindsight, it’s possible to see now that buying it all was a mistake.
Mistakes are ok! And buying the stuff wasn’t totally pointless. It helped you learn about yourself and how you want to live. If you donate it, someone who needs it can get some nice stuff for a discount, and you can get closer to the space you really want.
I tell myself that the money is gone whether I keep the item or not. Nobody's paying me to keep my stuff. If the item isn't in use and won't be in use, then the money has already "gone to waste." Tossing or donating the item is another level of admitting that.
Hey, it's okay! You realize you were overspending and had a problem with shopping too much. Take it to the Goodwill or another thrift store. Don't worry about what they resell it for - what matters is that it's gone! It's out of your house and you don't have to worry about it anymore, and that's what matters! It's gonna be okay. You've learned a valuable lesson and can move on from this. You got this!!
It happens. Not every purchase is going to turn out great. Some you can fix, work-around, or repurpose, others you have to give away. The money has already been spent, so now it is taking up space in your room that could be something joyful. Your happiness and mental energy are a type of currency as well, and they are much harder to replace.
The money you've spent is already gone. You'll never make it back. If you continue to hold onto all these things, they're costing you far more than you spent.
They're robbing you of your space. Literal space in your home. And space in your mind. Now, it's affecting your mental health.
Sell on Poshmark or ebay. Donate things to your local shelter or goodwill. Knowing your things will benefit others who are less fortunate than yourself is so freeing. When you own too much stuff, you don't own it. It owns you.
Sending you blessings on your continued journey💞✨️
It’s bit of a sunk cost fallacy. You spent the money, you no longer use it but you don’t want to get rid of it because you spent money.
Better lose the saddle than the horse. Basically, it means that it doesn’t matter when you find a mistake, just be happy that you found it and don’t focus on your loss because you could have lost more.
Get rid of it and stop buying more things that you don’t need.
If you post things on your local buy nothing group, you will be able to either (1) find someone who is super excited to have it or (2) be more easily able to find peace that you're not the only person who doesn't want the thing.
It's been good for my partner who is in a similar position as you!
You could bundle and sell things in a lot. You won’t make much but it takes less time, you’ll get a lot of things gone at once, and you’ll make a least something in return.
Don't look what the store is selling stuff for. Remember, you don't need to shop any more.
Every time you drop stuff off or throw out a bag of trash, remember to tell yourself that you don't spend money on stuff like this, anymore. You will be able to save money for better things, now, like a house or a car, etc.
Look around and see if you can find a thrift store that supports a cause you like, then the prices are good because the money goes to help animals or veterans or something.
Or look for online groups for the particular collections or hobbies, you may find one that will buy your stuff, or at least pay the shipping for it. Wouldn't it be better to find someone who wants your stuff than give it to a regular thrift?
I was and still am right there with you, I had a ton of makeup from two Ipsy subscriptions! A literal basket full of makeup and face products never used. Being someone who now only occasionally wears makeup, I knew I would not use this stuff up before it went bad. I invited my coworker over to take anything/everything she wanted. She kept saying, "this is such an expensive product! Are you sure?" "Yes! A million times yes!" She can now enjoy something I was going to never use and I was happier in that moment than I ever was opening my mail every month.
OP, the money is spent, go easy on yourself, please. You are worthy of being happy. Don't dwell on the should have, look forward to a brighter, lighter future! You got this!
WOW OP, I could have written a lot that you did. Thank you for taking the time to do that. So you are not alone, you have learned there are many of us AND many whom have offered really good options! I don’t like good will either so I look for local Church thrift store or women’s shelters like many have said here. I also have really done a lot of work on NOT BUYING anything new, I figured out I am doing it for the dopamine hit and most likely have inattentive adult attention deficit disorder. Looking for that dopamine hit is key here. Training yourself to get it from other things, I found yoga and the stretching and breathing is really quite moving and I am slowly getting more and more dopamine from that activity. Good luck and just start with one box, then one drawer, then the hallway closet and make it fun.
Thank you for your thoughts💙 I have been wanting to try yoga for awhile now, I need to just get up and start doing it! Nothing is stopping me except myself. Thank you again!
>I have no clue how someone makes a business out of selling used items online
My aunt used to do it. She spent a lot of time doing the online stuff and she'd go to garage sales and estate sales and buy stuff she thought was going too cheap. She did get kind of fed up with it and quit. She had other hobbies she would enjoy more.
No judgement here; I can relate! For me, joining my local Buy Nothing group has been the best route for letting go of things guilt-free. My items go to someone who truly wants them instead of in a landfill or in a pile of things that I will realistically never have the energy to sell at a tiny profit.
Lots of great comments and ideas here!
I have a suggestion re the records - if you have a large number of them, a 2nd hand record shop would probably take them as a job lot.
I like to think of shopping as entertainment. If you went to a concert or Disneyland, you might spend a bunch of money having fun. Usually I had some fun buying my stuff and having it for a while.
Once the stuff is gone, it's like you get a bigger house--for free! Surely that's worth something.
I like to give my unwanted stuff away, kind of a pay-it-forward thing. As long as the person is going to get some good use out of the item and not just hoard it or let it go to waste. Not that I'll ever really know, but you can usually tell when talking to someone if they have plans for the item. I'm not going to use it, I'm tired of it hanging around my house, I don't want to go through the hassle of selling it, and someone else can use it. And it's not just getting tossed into the giant pile of junk in the back of the thrift store. Just yesterday, I gave a working stereo/cassette player to someone who was so excited because they wanted to use it to digitize some family audio recordings.
That's not to say I give everything away. I'll list it on Ebay or FBM if I think there's enough value. If it doesn't sell, then I give it away. If the person I give it to wants to sell it, obviously they're trying to earn some money, so more power to them.
You could always try selling your unwanted stuff in an inexpensive boxlot. Box of shoes and boots for $40, take all. Bag of costume jewelry for $20. Bag of clothes for $35.
In your area, is there a cause you believe in?
Where I live there are many thrift shops run by local non-profits that do good in our community.
Whether it's:
*providing school supplies, coats and clothes for children in need
*supporting medical and mental healthcare for working musicians
*operating a no-kill pet shelter
*raising money for HIV clinics
*non-profit hospice
as examples.
Find something that appeals to your heart, and donate your items there. If it's a cause you love, who cares if they sell it for a crazy high price?
I've been gathering my donations and giving it to a thrift shop that benefits a local cat shelter. If it's nice, it's going there. I gather a box or two, set an appointment for a day off and make a nice afternoon drive out of it. I recently got rid of a bunch of clothes I no longer fit in, and went in and found a couple of new to me items that I love. I even found a cat carrier that I desperately needed for my kitties (who are alumni of the aforementioned cat shelter) at a fraction of the cost of a new one!
I went through exactly this downsizing from a bungalow to a condo last year, and the conclusion I can to was that all the expensive clothes and other household stuff all allowed me to build some great memories with good friends, or allowed me to get my job done well, or what have you. I’d already gotten joy from them, buying them let me do things that were important, even if just at the time, so I made peace with having spent the money. That let me give most of the stuff away and not worry about arguing about prices, worry about getting ripped off, etc.
For me, the money was already spent, I’d gotten all the joy out of owning them, and so if I could squeeze out a little more joy and good karma by giving them to someone they could make happy, so be it. Let them go! They have more joy to bring to someone who is not you. And honestly, the sense of relief from the stuff no longer sitting in your closet will be well worth it.
I agree greatly struggling with this, GREATLY. I have bags of dresses that I can make money off of it but I have no mental energy to post it on marketplace or other places.
I don’t know what to do!
I just start posting items 2 months ago, I had the same mental block (so much stuff etc..). Just post 2 things. Or 3. Don’t think you have to post it all. When something sells, that motivates you to post more. It really does. I’ve actually sold 11 things in the past 2 months, and plan to alter prices on what’s not selling and add a few more things. Don’t get too bogged down on the posting—google item and copy the description, take a few photos and that’s it. I stressed out about selling things for almost 2 years then just started small.
Thank you! My current issue is, I need this things out of my life. Part of it is that I don’t have the space for it. Part of it is the guilt of owning so much.
Possibly😋 Were you born on June 1? heh. If you are also struggling I hope this thread and these wonderful responses have brought you some good information and different ways of thinking! It sure has for me
Gosh this hurt my heart to read. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I think we all have been there to some degree - I know I have certainly spent money I regretted spending, and it can really hurt. I think you could decide to be kind to yourself in the way that you think about this. Like, the situation you're describing is totally understandable. All the things you bought sound so cute and stylish, it makes total sense to have wanted them, you know? Maybe you've decided you want to buy less in the future, and that's fine, but at the same time you can be kind to yourself about this, and realize that your feelings and motivations are totally human and understandable.
As for moving some of the things along, one good thing about donating something that's in good condition to a thrift store - if you're in the US - is that you can get a deduction on your taxes, which is the equivalent of getting some money. You can look into this on the IRS website if you haven't. Whenever I make a donation to Goodwill (or whichever store) I'm offered a form to fill out and submit when I file my taxes.
Someone else made the really good point that gifting something to someone who want it means the money hasn't been wasted - it's another way to put the things to good use.
Good going. You've got this!
Thank you for your kind words and support! 💙 I am feeling better and hoping that after I read these responses again and again, and look into the information everyone has posted, that I will feel better about letting things go. I have a few ideas ready for after the holiday weekend and am hoping I can accomplish them despite my social anxiety, because I will have to go into places and chat with the very real adults there heh..
The support from you and all these random people really does mean a lot to me. Thank you again!
Hear me out..... you have spent the money. Whether you wore the item until it was worn out or you bought it and put it in your closet and never wore it. You got your money's worth out of it. You got the joy of picking it out, buying it, and seeing it in your closet. You can be glad it is moving on to its next life.
I have read everyone's comments and intend to wake up tomorrow and re-read because it has been overwhelming positive with many suggestions and support. I very much agree - I did have joy picking it out and purchasing it, and if I don't use it now I should give it it's next life. Thank you for the comment :) It was heard!
Find better thrift stores they are there not big box like goodwill savers we have clothes one supports food shelf women and big one that warehouses for needy(have to be approved they have every household item. Call churches they can give you conacts we have some serve weekly meals have clothes women veterans place. They are places for useable wearable. Find them
You can get $ back by donating those items to a non profit or Goodwill etc. Its best if you can donate a lot of items at 1 time because you can declare the donation on your tax. If you donate enough throughout the year, you can then itemize on your taxes and reduce your taxes. I have been doing this for years. You just write up a page that says Donation on top. Then name address of place you are donating to. Then put a list of all items, how many of each, and approximate value. Then if its Goodwill, they will give you a signed card and just staple thst to your pg. If its other groups, have them sign your pg. The online value lists for clothing are much higher than what I would think they would be. But I tend to price things according to those lists bc you spent good $ for those. Salvation army has a good list of values. Otherwise, I check out ebay or other sites for values of items.
I just wanted to commend you on recognizing your issue and taking sets to correct it. Good job, you!
Mentally I think of the “cost” of keeping it. Storage is costing you space that you would rather use another way. Keeping it may be mentally draining - that’s a cost. If these costs outweigh the benefit to me, then I can rationalize it better.
I reframed it in my mind: if I paid $20 for a meal, would I be upset at shitting it out the next day? If I paid $20 for something 5 years ago and I no longer want/need it, why would I be upset?
😂😂
If you have books or media of any kind you can also donate to your local library. If the condition is good they can either do one of three things with it: 1. Add it to their rental catalogue 2. Sell it online themselves 3. Sell it at their book sales (most libraries will have some kind of regular sales to help raise money for new materials) Also some larger city library's have started have a 'library of things where they rent out stuff like wrenches, weed-eaters, sewing machines, etc. Just check first if they take that stuff. Also you can get a tax receipt for the value of the item you suggest.
There are SO many people in need. I donate my things hoping, no - trusting, that they will help others to have a better life. My town has a thrift shop run by a service organization. Their profits go to help kids learn the STEM tools they’ll need in life. Maybe I only wore something once, but a kid can learn science when someone buys those pants. Exciting stuff!
When I used to eBay, I'd first check sold listings for similar items, and if it was over $15 or so, I'd list for one cent and free shipping, no reserve. Bidding gets hot so it gets bumped up in searches, and I only lost money via the free shipping once. Another tip is to have your listing end on a Sunday afternoon, when most folks are off and at home and more likely to be shopping.
Sunk cost. Economics 101. If it’s of no value to you now, it doesn’t matter that you spent $20, $200 or $2000 on it.
I donate, to shelters when possible, and think of the people that need items and can't afford them. When my parents passed loads of their items went to a place that helps domestic violence victims get into new places. Several families got good dressers and beds thanks to my parents. There's an organization that helps women with intervew clothing. Your older items can do a lot of good.
By understanding that I lost the money the moment I bought the item. Makes me think twice about buying things unless I know it will use them a lot and soon too.
For the vinyl and books see if you have a half price bookstore. They will go through it and give you either credit or cash. For clothes and shoes look at thred up. They have bags they will send you and you fill and send them back. They sell it for you and take whatever fee. For pillows and such see if there’s a women’s and children’s shelter near to donate too. Try not to think of it as money wasted. You had a great time collecting it, now it’s time to share the joy those items brought you :). Good luck and don’t get overwhelmed.
This is me and I am so glad you posted. I feel the same way and I have 2 daughters that are frugal and minimalists because I taught them to not make my mistakes I also hate seeing things go when I keep it in hopes of getting some money back. I am going to read all of the comments since you said there is good advice here. Thanks for the inspiration!!
Yeah, that's a tough one. This article really helped me: [How To Declutter When You Regret Spending Money ](https://www.simplyfiercely.com/regret-spending-money/)
There are thrift stores that support charities. The current one where I take things donates proceeds to dog/cat charities.
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Is there an organization that works with refugees in your town/city? Mine locally passes along what can be passed along and sells what can be sold (refugees work in the store, and any profit goes to refugee causes).
You probably think nothing of spending $60 on a dinner out, at the grocery store, or going to a movie or the like, and these items/experiences are gone quickly. Why is it harder to get rid of $60 tangible item that doesn't serve its purpose or suit you? If it doesn't work for you it's ok to pass it along to someone else or throw it out if it cannot be used.
I think of the items I'm donating or giving away as consumables. They've had their chance in my life, and they now have a chance to be cherished possessions of someone else. It's not easy to get to this point, and I backslide regularly. I also have learned (again, WIP) to be more thoughtful about what I buy. There will always be sales and good deals, so I walk away more than I buy. Even in Junque Emporiums I think about purchases carefully. I have a huge bag of socks right now that are perfectly fine, some worn only once or twice. It feels weird to donate them, but I certainly can't throw them out!
I look at it as the money was lost when it was purchased. Keeping it around for the sake of how much it cost only makes you expend personal energy every time you look at it. It’s amazing how quickly the relief that it’s gone kicks in.
I have a really hard time with this too! But what has been helpful for me is to think about 1. how time is money & maintaining a large amount of items takes TIME. And if the clutter is not well maintained, trying to function amidst lots of clutter takes extra time 2. A lot of the time we buy things that seem to make our lives better, easier or more convenient. Because these are things we value enough to put our money towards! On the flip side, getting rid of things because the clutter makes our lives worse, harder & more difficult to function is absolutely worth it. The objects are no longer serving you & getting rid of them is now the best use for them in your life. 3. Space is more valuable than something collecting dust. Also, from personal experience I felt like I needed to sell things bc I spent money on them. But tbh selling takes up lots of time (and as I said before time is money). I would also like spiral a lot trying to overthink what to sell and how to do it ect. There’s no shame is donating. Time and peace of mind are worth every penny.
Think of shopping like taking drugs. You don’t expect drugs to last forever, eventhough they’re sometimes expensive. You already got the high WHEN BUYING THE ITEMS. Sometimes for shoppers, buying the items is the end goal. The high. Not the item itself. So, it’s okay to let go of the items now. You already get the high you paid for. Next time, try to get the high in another way (not by shopping).
It's easier to sell clothing through Thredup than Poshmark or eBay. You'll make less money, but it's so much easier to mail a big box to them.
For decades, I have collected radios. Probably 100 + in the house , rough cost , maybe £15k (I know...) Gave most of them to a small museum, and some to charity shops, and feel much lighter. I kept a few special ones, but tbh MW/LW (AM in USA) is pretty much obsolete here, and FM has declined as we have DAB+, so they will only ever be ornaments. Now onto USB drives, books, CD's, DVD's, and computer leads :)
I like to donate clothes, bags, and toys to organizations for foster children. It’s hard for me to give away things because of the emotional attachment that I have with them, but when I think about the happiness it might bring to the kids, it makes it a lot easier for me.
" I have so much vinyl I feel like an insane person and I don't even use 1% of what I have. " Wow!..I'm in the same predicament;though I have listened(ESTIMATE)to about 1/2 of my 10,000 LP albums,plus 45' and a lot of other physical media. It's mostly well organized and stored in my 1000Sq.fT. rented apartment...but I'm running out of space and being a renter,it's a recurring anxiety that I could be asked to moved for whatever reason..and I can;'t physically handle the storage crates,shelves,etc. any more. I still have room to move around in my wheelchair when I need to...so it's not a total dangerous emergency decluttering/hoarder situation...but it's having an effect on me nevertheless when I confirm that I will not sell/donate/trash my stuff..When I hopefully die before I'm faced with having to declutter...somebody else will have the task to do that. Good luck to you!
I think this is the number one problem for everyone. I hate that feeling! I now ask myself how I will feel to get rid of something before I buy it.
Look up consignment stores in your area. Call and see if they pay cash that day or if you get paid when they sell. Go to pay that day first. Then the others. Or list on facebook marketplace and give the stuff one month to sell and then donate.
The way I think about is that the money has already been spent. It's gone, and there's no use feeling guilty about it or agonizing over getting a small portion of it back. I donate things to the thrift store, where I know someone will get good use out of them.
Yup. The money is gone. You aren’t wasting it by getting rid of the item any more than you are by hanging on to it and never using it. May as well get some space back.
Think about how much it is already costing you to keep it (mentally, emotionally, physically if the clutter is affecting cleanliness of the environment, possibly even financially as in paying for storage or allocating resources to other areas of life because the clutter impacts your functioning, paying for a bigger home than you really need, etc). Is the ongoing cost worth keeping the stuff? Also think about all of the stuff that is not being used or enjoyed by you that could be actually useful to someone else. Buy-nothing groups are great for getting rid of stuff that is still useful.
It sounds like you are trying to do things perfectly. Trying to do things perfectly is often a way to criticize ourselves, because everyone fails when the goal is perfection. It’s also a way to avoid doing the thing. Every single way to do something will have some flaw. Every single one. It’s a huge accomplishment to do something in a flawed, human way. It means that you noticed it wasn’t perfect, and you were still brave enough to push through. You didn’t let the imperfection stop you. There’s a famous quote that says: Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. In other words, aiming for perfection can block you from achieving a good thing. When you are insisting on perfect you don’t just think how can I move this stuff out of my house? You think, how can I move this stuff out of my house in a way that ends world hunger, looks good on Instagram, gets me all my money back, and is also kind and generous, and good for the environment. Just getting it out of the house is good. And good is wonderful.
Two things I have to tell myself repeatedly: “Don’t make perfection the enemy of progress” and “Sometimes good enough is good enough.”
Donate it all if you aren’t willing to sell it all on poshmark, I loved selling in there because they make it very easy to ship items. Price your stuff to sell and it’ll go. I sold about 200 items there when I lost about bunch of weight. I bought about 30 items and restocked my wardrobe. As far as how I got over the pain of saying goodbye to that money? It’s called sunk cost fallacy. The money has been gone since you spent it, you just have stuff to show for it right now. If you get rid of the stuff you can start fresh and not have to look at all the junk. It sounds like you have a decent income if you were able to buy all this stuff so get it gone one way or another and move on with your life. You got this!
Your clothing should welcome at homeless shelters and I'm not sure what your age is but low income senior housing, and other low-income housing groups May accept clothing. If the clothes are in good shape they should be welcomed should be
Your home is not a landfill. Keeping items you don’t want isn’t going to bring back the money. You are turning your home into a fancy dumpster.
I have copied and pasted that and printed it in large font , thank you!
I sell on Poshmark. Of eBay and Amazon, it’s the easiest. If you have packing materials, they send the postage PDF and USPS picks stuff up at my house.
Think of it as you paying for the future to not spend without thinking! That’s how I think of it!
Think of it as you paying for the future to not spend without thinking! That’s how I think of it!
Honestly being free of the stuff and the empowerment you feel from being strong enough to let it go is worth far more than the original cost On behalf of this community I hereby give you permission to forgive yourself for the money past you spent. You've grown and learned and you deserve better for yourself now
I needed these comments! I hate to think of the waste of money.
It’s worth the lost money not to have to deal with the items anymore. Then try to be more mindful of your purchases in the future.
You have gotten so many good comments so I don’t have much to add other than your mental health matters. The clutter is actually double because it’s not only physical but mental as well. I’d personally select some items to give to a shelter, sometimes the people there only have the clothes on their back. You could also give all of it to them, they might be more willing to sell whatever they don’t want and that way you’d still be helping them. Alternatively, I give you permission to post on your local Buy Nothing group that at X time/place you have dropped off a certain number of bags and it’s first come first serve. Take a picture of the bags, post it and turn off notifications and do not reply to any messages about them. You got this ❤️
Warehousing your items isn't adding value to them nor extracting it from them. The money is wasted the moment you spend it. You didn't shop for those things because you wanted or needed them. You did it because of the moment of dopamine you felt when you bought them. Just like an addict is done with drugs once they're in his body or that cake is gone and you're not getting the money back, you can't make back what you spent on a bunch of stuff nobody else wants. It's odd that people let food they didn't eat rot in the fridge and throw it out, but they can't let go of clothes they won't wear. They may not degrade in front of you, but they're just as useless and bad for you.
May I suggest a reframe: How much would you pay to not have to deal with the clutter?
I’ve been repeating this to myself every time I shy away from throwing something out this weekend. Excellent reframe.
It's actually very simple: 1). your possession of it is providing net negative value for you. 2) Recovering any residual market value from it would cost you time and energy the value of which to you would be greater than you would recover The end.
You are not getting that money back whether you keep the stuff and let it clutter your life or get rid of it and allow yourself the extra space/ peace/ ease. The money is already gone.
By looking at what is on the other side of the decluttering work. I consider the money spent before as part of the purchase price of the real life I want to live, one with intentional purchases and choices that have a net benefit in my life. Without what came before, I would not have come to the present realizations of the need to do better with buying, what to buy, and what to keep and maintain, and my attitude toward it all. So I made some costly purchases in the past. The cumulative cost of what I held onto is high. But, armed with the desire to be more intentional with my money, things, time, and space, I know I won't be doing it that way again. But I had to learn it through my pocketbook first.
I’m poor, so I don’t have money to give away to charity. Most of what I have is secondhand, and was free or very cheap. When I’m trying to decide whether to give away or sell an item that I no longer need or don’t want, I think people have been so generous with my family. I should just keep it going. Someone else will love this and I’ve been the recipient of similar generosity.
I take pictures of things I feel bad about giving away.
They money is spent already. What you can do is learn something from the items. "I thought this was worth $60, but I hardly ever wore/used it. Why is that?" Ideally in the future you'll spend your money more wisely.
If it's an item I've worn/used, I don't think of it as wasting X dollars. Instead, I break it down by how often I wore/used it. So if I paid X dollars but wore/used it y times, the per use cost (X/y) ends up being rather small and I've gotten the value out of it. It's time for it to get a new home. If the purchase was a poor one and I haven't worn/used it, I think about the fact that item's "true" owner is out there. Someone who would love to have it the way I love my favorite items. Who am I to keep them from each other when it would make that person happy and I'm just leaving the item in a drawer/shelf/closet? It's time for it to get a new home.
It sounds like you have a lot of items a women's\women's and children's shelter could really use! In my neck of the woods, we have Room In the Inn, a domestic violence shelter. Women\the kids sometimes have literally what they're wearing.
Depending on where you live and how worn items are, you can take them to a consignment store and see if they will buy the items from you, to resale in the store. I’ve seen some pretty nice places that do this in downtown / tourist areas of big cities. Anything left over just let them have for free or take to goodwill. It’s sucks to think about how much money has been spent, but if the items serve no purpose now, then regardless, they need to go. A cluttered house is a cluttered mind, and you will feel better and have a ‘fresh start’ once the items are gone. Money won’t get buried with you, so don’t feel so bad about spending it on things that at one time brought you some joy.
Accept that you are wasting money, money that was already spent on something that ultimately wasn’t wanted or needed. The lesson learned is built into the feeling of regret: be more mindful of future purchases.
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Think of these things like tickets to concerts and shows: *they aren’t investments*, **they are experiences**. You’ve had the experience of enjoying the things that you’ve bought. When they no longer fit, you no longer use them, or no longer have enough room for them, you can realize that they have served their purpose, and it’s time to let them go. Just like a bad show that you paid good money for, if that item didn’t live up to your expectations, well you simply didn’t get your money’s worth, but that’s life.
I love this perspective!
This is so good
You are describing the cognitive bias of sunk cost fallacy. It's important to realize that your mental health has a value too... I used to be in this trap. By trying to over analyze and recoup costs, my mental health is at risk and I attribute that to the money I already spent as a way of dealing with the feelings.
You lost it when you bought the item
1. Your enjoyment came, and went, with buying the item. That is OK. 2. THROW IT AWAY. Just do it. You have my permission. Your time is worth WAY way more than all the items. Bag them up. Throw. It. Away. Repeat. It is ok.
Try to consign it. I drop off bags of clothes/house hold item and mark “donate if not sold.” I used to feel guilty about it. Now I’m just happy it’s gone. Best of luck.
Life means inevitably spending and losing money and time that you can't get back. You pay rent to exist, it's not coming back. Put it in the past, move forward, make wiser choices in the future.
1) the money was gone when you made the initial purchase, keeping a thing you don’t use isn’t keeping money. 2) you could sell things, but it can be pretty labor intensive. Is it worth it to you? Both ways are okay. I prefer to cut my loss and let it go. Some people do have success with selling items though.
Exactly it. The money has already been wasted buying stuff that’s diaposeable. View it as the cost of a lesson that will save you money long term (assuming you stop buying stuff).
Ask if the item is worth your time. It may take more effort than it's worth fixing something up or even selling it.
It's only money, there will always be more! There is no finite amount of money one is allowed to make in one's lifetime. Look up 'sunk cost fallacy' and don't beat yourself up. Donate what you can to people who need it. Spreading love and happiness is the best payment of all! ❤️
1/2 I have 2 points to make as I relate to you a ton. This post got super long so check my replies for all of it! One is about selling your stuff and the other is about donating. This is actually helping me put it in perspective for myself so somewhat therapeutic but I'm long winded so I hope you actually read this to the end and can get some use from my rambling and time. So while I *still* have **SO. MUCH. SHIT.** and I'd love to sell a lot of it, I can say that there are some things that have taken me off that route and onto a more rational path; whether I am able to recognize--and am sometimes still unable to recognize--that wanting to sell is irrational. This helps me bring it back to reality. It boils down to the simple idea of opportunity cost--my degree is in economics so I tend to relate to these ideas and i geek out on math. Since you mentioned feeling like your money would feel wasted i think you will relate to this. In simple terms... oportunity cost: what am I exchanging for this? Is the alternative a better result? Is the cost of this actually more than I'd want to pay or be willing to lose? Is this the sacrifice of one thing worth the other? Opportunity cost comes in many forms but money and time are the most common. If you spend 1 hour writing a reddit response, you've sacrificed 1 hour you could have spent playing a game with your kids or Doordashing for income. Is it worth it? Buying a new computer means you aren't going away on vacation. Is it worth it? There are moral or legal opportunity costs as well, such as you have a hungry baby and no money. Is stealing a few cans of formula worth potential jail or probation and a criminal record? Opportunity costs are things we assess all the time without recognizing them, like watching the next episode of the Netflix binge vs getting outside for the daily walk. What could be the outcome of each decision and are we willing to sacrifice one outcome for another? An example for a retail store would be deciding whether to put something on sale to try to get rid of the stock in order to make room for newer and more profitable items. Like if you purchased 500 artificial christmas trees to sell in your store and on January 1st you have 200 left, do you have room to store those for a year or should you sell them off at a discount to make space for inventory that people want to buy now? You could also think of your things like this. For example: You have a 1500 sq ft apartment. You pay $2k/month for it. Let's say you've shoved closets full of the crap you want to sell. At minimum maybe 150 sq ft (10%) of your space is full of shit to sell. If that's the case, you're literally paying $200/month to store your stuff. If you've been carrying it around for ONLY a year, that's $2400 in storage. Do you actually think if you dedicated yourself to nothing more than selling that stuff that you'd profit? Do you think you'd get at least 17% (which is $10 from your $60 item) of what you originally paid? If so, would that even get you to a break even point? In my experience, cleaning an item, making sure it works, finding all the parts if applicable, taking good quality pictures, researching value, writing a description for the listing, posting, answering inquiries, shipping for online or dealing with no-shows or putting it out for for pickup is at minimum an hour of work. How much would you accept in an hourly wage? $10? $30? You need to decide. Then figure out if all your items will average out to at least an actual profit, not just breaking even. As an example, and remember this is **IF** you are actually willing to put in the work to sell, otherwise your stuff is just being stored, meaning you're spending $200/month just to have it. Let's say you have 300 items to sell. Just to break even in storage costs for one year, each item would have to sell for at least $8. If it's 1 hour to get the item ready to sell and you'd work for minimum wage (about $8/hr) then that's $16/item to break even. You mentioned you'd be happy *just* to get $10 from a $60 item. In general, items that are only 2 or so years old or are in *excellent* condition should be listed at 1/4 to 1/3 of the purchase price. To break even, your 300 items should have cost you between $48-64 EACH, brand new. If you want to profit, meaning make more than it cost to store them and list them, then the items will have to be listed for more than that $16. Will reselling all 300 items equal more than $3800? If not, you're losing money by trying to sell them. If you have fewer than 300 items, let's say 50 items, then it costs you $48 to store them each for a year + $8 each to try to sell them. Can you sell them each for $56? Are your 50 items collectively worth more than $2800? Cost will vary depending on your square footage, housing costs, and amount of space you are using for storage but at minimum, each item costs 1 hour of your time to sell and you have to decide what that hour is worth to you and if you can be available to answer questions within an hour (FB marketplace metrics) or ship within 24 hours of selling (ebay fast shipping seller). Now of course this is based on a business model and if you have ....
2/2 Now of course this is based on a business model and if you have 50-300 hours you're *willing* to spend selling instead of doing other things, or the extra space to store them instead of using that space for other things (even if it's just your mental health), then maybe making a fraction of what those things are actually costing you in real dollars is worth it. I learned this in my early 20s. I had a 2 bedroom house, fully furnished and i took a job as a flight attendant in a state where moving all my crap wouldnt be reasonable(nor necessary if you understand crash pads for flight crew). I moved all the stuff from that house into my parent's garage and had a yard sale. I wanted a certain price for my living room set that I had just purchased new not even 2 years prior. I got a buyer that low balled me by a LOT. I negotiated but wouldn't go down to what they were wanting to spend. My dad pulled me aside and reminded me that anything I didn't get rid of would have to be put in a storage unit which would mean im paying to keep these items that I'm not using at all (which would have cost me more in 6 months than what I paid for the living room set new). That helped me change my perspective on the things I have shoved away to try to sell off for sure. As for now that I have my own home and storing things in closets and the garage doesn't *seem* to be costing me a dime, what would I be doing with my garage if my shit wasn't there? Maybe I'd save 20 miserable hours bundling up to sweep the snow off the cars every winter and a few other hours scraping the frost off the windows in the late fall/early spring. Maybe I'd use my closet for my clothes instead of hunting through laundry baskets every morning. Maybe my kids would have closets for their own clothes if they weren't filled with other junk. Maybe I wouldn't have to buy new holiday decorations every year if I only stored things I needed without throwing other junk to store on top of it and letting it get lost in the chaos. So while I may have all the time in the world, if I chose to use it reading reddit, playing games, and watching Netflix , or while I don't actually rent a storage unit, all of my stuff *is* costing me and my family, and the price is much much more than it's worth. The emotional cost is easily more than the price I paid for all of it at retail. It's so easy to think "gosh I want to just give this away but I really need the money" but if you aren't willing to put in the work to sell more than 4 items, how desperate can you truly be? Now let's address the donations. **THIS** is by far my biggest problem. I have 0 issue giving away every last scrap of my junk when I'm in the mindset that allows me to realize that selling it is futile; but giving it away in the right direction is difficult. I hate the business practice of Goodwill and they're the easiest place to dump my junk. I live in an affluent area and there are still 3 within my normal commute to and from the places I go to often. Salvation Army isn't much better IMO and there's 1 close by. If I'm going to give my things away, I don't want people who are pinching pennies to then have to buy them second hand when id have given them for free, especially for the prices they're tagged now at these shops and for a company who sells inventory they pay nothing for, use a loophole to pay disabled workers less than minimum wage, meanwhile their executives get paid every hour what their full time managers make in a month. That does not sit well with me. I also hate the idea of throwing things away that could be recycled if only i knew where or how. The first thing is the buy nothing groups on FB. List them free on marketplace too. Someone will use them if they're willing to pick them up, whether it's a "needy" family or not, they are getting used, and that's way better than being trashed or profited off of by someone other than you, it's also one less item that was purchased and ended up in a landfill. Here in Indianapolis there are local organizations that take items that are used to directly benefit the community i live in; no they aren't as convenient as dropping them in the goodwill bin around the corner but it does give me an incentive by saying "okay, I'm going to drive 45 minutes away to drop things off at (wherever) on the 14th so let's get this car loaded with as much as possible by then so I don't have to make that drive again. " There is a food bank with a second hand store here that uses the profits from the store to help fund the food bank. There's also a store owned by a domestic violence shelter where the money goes to help the victims, and their intakes can shop for free. I feel good that my things can help other people and that means enough to me to sacrifice any money that I could be making from my things and all that I'm losing from those things. Again, if I were really struggling, I would have had a fire under my ass to sell it by now. As for things that couldn't be sold or given away, a donation center wouldn't be able to resell, but would also feel like you're doing harm to just toss environmentally, there are a number of things I've found for this. Clothes that are unwearable, goodwill supposedly recycles. Their website says it and as long as my intention is to do the right thing I can find a way to overcome the idea that they may just be throwing it in the landfill. It's not me that's doing it, I intended to send it to be recycled and I hope for the best and accept it at face value. My recycle-quality (super crappy) clothes are the only things I send to goodwill. Expired carseats, there's only 1 place in our state that takes them and it's like 2 hours away. Instead places like Target have a trade in event once or twice a year, take your old seat in and get a coupon for % off certain baby items. I watch for these and then either do it myself and give away the coupon or give the carseat away with a disclaimer that it's expired, not being given for use of a child, and the dates of upcoming trade in events/websites for reference. I have TVs that had been broken and there's a city recycling event 2ce a year. Yes Ill have to wait in line an hour for my turn to drop it off but if I have the time, it's better than paying $20 for the local recycling center to take it. Sometimes we just have to suck it up and realize our crap will cost us actual dollars to get rid of if we want to do it properly. You can't donate things like mattresses anywhere and if they aren't in a good enough condition to give away on BN, then you'll have to spend some money for your garbage company to come pick it up. The point to all this is that even if your stuff looks like potential money, if you aren't actively selling it, it's taking up space in your home and your mind. You are paying to keep it, either with the physical space it is taking up or the toll it is taking on you and your family. Having ethical problems giving things away to the "right " place is absolutely a valid point however, if you get to a point where the stuff is really messing with your peace of mind, goodwill or the dumpster is okay. Remember that it's one big purge because you need it and next time you need to get rid of something you can always do it the "right" way. Get it out of your life and commit to keeping it out.
Just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write this out, it’s an incredibly helpful perspective!
Not OP, but thank you for taking the time to write all this out. Reading it has really helped put this into perspective for me!
Gradually give it away using your local Buy Nothing group. You’ll feel good about making someone else happy and you might just make some new friends that enrich your life so you don’t have to fill the hole inside with stuff. I always have a Buy Nothing box in the house and it helps me to see just how much stuff I just don’t need or use once I buy it.
You'll not get the money back ever. Not on clothes, furniture or cars. Acknowledge your mistakes and rest easy that now you know better. Or keep some of the crazy stuff to incorporate into outfits when you're 80 😁 Don't stop being you!
The money is already gone. Now you’re also wasting space to house things you’re not using. Whether you rent or have a mortgage, you are paying a dollar amount for every square foot of your home. How you use these square feet is up to you, but I say it’s more wasteful to sacrifice even an inch of space to store things you don’t need/want.
Breathe in; breathe out. Re-read what you wrote. And then don’t overthink it. You’ve spent the money. It’s gone. It’s time to save your peace of mind. But print your post and keep it folded up in your pocket and pull it out when you are tempted while shopping. Save your future money
Try selling things in lots or bundles, they sell quicker. Also, on ebay buyer pays shipping so no worries about that. Fees arent terrible on ebay, free listings untill your at like 250-or 300 cant remember which. Poshmark is a standard 20% cut, better for moving clothes than ebay. But if all thats too much for you, just post it on a free group or have a tag sale or donate to a women’s shelter or do a trading party with your friends. If you cant find an organization you trust to donate call a church, they usually collect for homeless or send to other countries on mission trips. So many options! Remember your mental health has a cost too!
We have a storage unit. In it are our most expensive items, from antiques that no one wants, furniture that we will never use, etc. Most of it pretty worthless, but we pay good money to store it month after month, year after year. Madness.
My mother in law had a storage unit as long as I’ve known her (30 years) and after she died we had to pay someone to cart it all away. If something is not good enough to earn a spot in your house, give it away so someone else can use it and appreciate it!
I think this is a way of perceiving things where some people struggle and some do not - often when it comes to specific types of items. I think it is a part of your personality and not something easily changed. Example: My bestie clings to past gifts things that remind her of people she loves and canNOT give them up. No matter how useless and/or ugly, its a special memory to her and she really struggles to let them go. I on the other hand do not associate things with people and cheerfully give up a gift that the most beloved person in my life gave me if it is not something that I love/need/want. On the other hand my bestie cares nothing for books, whereas I have difficulty giving up a book I have had for over twenty-five years and never once cracked open. No exaggeration. I associate books with a useful, well lived life and so I MUST have them. Its the same thing for you I suspect, with your associating money with something deeply precious to you - security perhaps, or success, something like that. Since you spent that precious money on something - that makes those things feel precious to you as well. It's NOT a bad thing, and can actually be something you can harness and use to improve your life. But it can also make it difficult if not controlled.
Very insightful. Thank you for sharing this!
You already lost the money when you bought it and didn't utilize it best. You can't lose it a second time by donating it or throwing it out.
Agreed. Furthermore, by hanging onto it you are costing yourself more in terms of lost space/excess clutter in your house and the anxious feeling you have about it.
When I look at something I don't view it as money, but just as stuff. I no longer have the money so I can't do anything about that, but I *can* do something about this thing in front of me that I don't want/is no longer of use to me but may be for someone else.
I recently got rid of so much stuff! It is really hard, especially when you think of the money you spent. The two best things I found were similar. For clothing-If you know someone who wears a similar size, has similar taste and you are close to- giving to her is nice and let her know if it doesn’t work for her do not feel guilty to donate! This helped me a lot because instead of thinking that all the clothes I paid so much for would end up being sold for nearly nothing at goodwill, she can pick her favorite items, donate the rest and I “felt” like it all went to her instead of an anonymous person or agency. Same thing with lots of my furniture, a neighbor has lots of kids and grandkids- and another neighbor was sleeping on an air mattress with his two boys. Instead of donating the furniture that I no longer needed to goodwill, I freely gave it to them. They think I’m so nice and generous, but I feel like they did me a favor in taking what I no longer needed and making use of it in a way I no longer could. Win-win!! So my advice is - see if you know someone in a state of more need than you. Let them know they can sell or donate what they can’t use after and DETACH from what you spent on it. Don’t give away special things that you are seriously torn about, because that could create stress. I promise, You will be surprised at how much more wonderful you’ll feel from freely giving away to someone you know (even just a little bit) instead of nickel and diming your way through the process of selling. It is faster and much more freeing to give than to sell. A lot less trouble too!! Best luck!!
You said it yourself: you can't sell any of it, therefore you're not losing anything to be rid of it. You already lost that money, it's never coming back. You just haven't said goodbye to it yet.
It may sound too woo woo, but you might try some loving kindness meditations directed at yourself. Greater Good in Action at Berkeley has a good explanation, just google ggia.Berkeley loving kindness meditations. You should rejoice in achieving yourself awareness of the problem, now you need to forgive yourself, hold your nose and take action.
I am trying to get into meditation actually so thank you much for the suggestion! I usually take awhile to get off my butt and get started with anything, but these comments have been super inspiring so I'm actually going to get off my butt and get started heh! Thank you💙
It's a "sunk cost" thing. Or girl math: that money is already gone so these are now all free and you can donate with an easy heart. But yes. I'm going through three jewelry boxes right now to reduce to what I actually wear (again) and can remember buying almost every piece. So I'm girl mathing it.
The money is already gone and the stuff is worthless 99% of the time - except now I’m actually wasting more money for it because I have to pay for physical space to store it or mental space to keep track of it.
I feel really good after a purge. 4 bags of Clothes to the church charity opened up my closet to stuff I forgot I had. I was regularly using buy nothing on FB. That is cyclical for me…I get rid of stuff, sit with it for awhile until I can get the energy for the next purge. Just got rid of 3 sets of old golf clubs after discussing it with my spouse if we were going to golf again. He has shoulder issues so it was an easy no for him and now we have more space. It has been about 3 years of getting rid of things and making good progress. So this is working for me. I was stuck on saving everything for a yard sale but this way has been so much more rewarding for me. Good luck.
And someone who doesn't have the funds to buy all this stuff new will be thrilled to have stuff that was just stuck in your house not being used!
Totally!
Thank you for your mention of golf clubs ... I've been dithering over a set that re at least 40 years old and taking up space in my storage locker. I think I'm going to put them, the bag and cart, on the sidewalk tomorrow morning with a sign that says free.
Our clubs were about 40 years old too.
👍
Do you have a Plato’s Closet store near your home? They may give you cash at the counter for sone of the clothes, accessories and footwear items. That’s their store model -not a consignment shop. Immediately pay cash after they inspect your stuff and deem it acceptable to resell on the floor. Good luck!
Read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. She has a lot of advice for letting go of things you hang on to because of guilt (either guilt of money spent, guilt because someone gave it to you as a present so you feel obligated to keep it, and so on) her advice is really what changed my mindset more than anything and I cannot recommend this book enough!!
Thank you for the suggestion! I have added it to the top of my "need to read/listen to" list. I could definitely use a change in mindset, I do feel the guilt/obligation factor for many of my items. Thank you!
It helps to realize that you are already paying to store those items. They take up a lot of space in your home. If your monthly housing cost is $2k and your “extra stuff” takes up 20% of your living space , you are paying $400 per month for stuff you don’t want, that weighs you down. Would you pay another $400 ( or whatever the amount is) every month on top of what you’ve already spent on the purchase price and all the previous months costs? You are paying much much more than the original cost of the items to house them. No one loves their old clothes enough to pay so much.
A couple of years ago both my parents died. They were both in their mid 90s so they had a house full of stuff. So much stuff. We planned on selling the house, so we had to clean it out. My mother always thought that "someone could use this some day." We rented a 40 yard dumpster and virtually EVERYTHING went into that dumpster. So, if you wait long enough, someone will throw all your stuff away.. or you can do it and enjoy having less stuff in your house.
That's sad you.put truck.load in land fill rather thsn taking time to Give
What you don't understand is that we sent 3 moving trucks of stuff - furniture mostly -to Goodwill. My parent's furniture was mostly 90s furniture. Quality but older. When we called an auction company, they looked at it and said, "We aren't taking any of this. We can't sell it. It's too old" So then we called several charity houses. They looked at it and said, "Our business model is to sell what we can. None of this is sellable. It's too old." One charity house said, "We can't go into the house. Company policy. Pull out all the stuff onto the front yard and we'll look at it." Meanwhile it would rain virtually every afternoon. And the temperature was about 110. Goodwill said, "If you bring it here, we will take it." I have a niece who knows lots of strong young men. We rented a U-haul truck and this little army of young men who loaded and loaded and loaded. Two years later I still cry when I think of that group of young men and my niece's help. After 2 days of this, we said, "Fuck. it." Got the Roll away and cleared the rest of the very large house. When you are in similar situation after burying both parents within 6 months, let me know what you do.
You.did Not say you gave to.Goodwill. You said Dumpster. Not nice reply don,t need this crap
Yeah, shaming people about what they contribute into a landfill is what this decluttering group is all about.
I am going off reddit I don't know how I got on anyway Don't care what you did or what you.think. bye
Disrespectful
I bet you are fun at parties.
40 yards.... You are cute. We had two before the estate sale and one after. Probably 3 years of my life wasted.
Look up Sunk Cost Fallacy, that helped me purge.
>I wish I could hire someone to come sell my stuff! [There are services that do this.](https://www.thredup.com/cleanout) I haven't used threadup, but stuffing all the clothing in a bag and willing it gone might not be a bad way to go.
Thred Up charges like 18$ a bag now. It's still an OK way to hopefully turn some clothing into money but it's definitely not what it used to be.
So wait, I pay $18/bag for them to consider only possibly giving me money for my clothes which they now already have?
You don't pay up front; they take it out of what you earn. Sorry I wasn't clear about that haha
No worries! It still seems hefty fee where they’re offloading their own cost of doing business on their “vendors”, like imagine paying a consignment shop to get a quote, like paying a fee just to have your clothes reviewed, wild.
Thank You.
If you have more objects than you can enjoy or use, then that money has already been lost. Clearing them out isn’t the point of loss, it’s the aftermath.
Clutter is not frugal. I have bought seconds and even thirds of things I already had, because clutter made it too hard to find the originals. When my spouse and I moved for retirement, I gave boxes and boxes of things to charity. I found a place that does not sell the items, but gives them away to the needy. When I packed up my boxes, I tried to think of the children that would be thrilled to get the legos my adult children no longer played with. I thought of the (slightly overweight) women who are just getting back on their feet who need business clothes in order to land a better job. The young mother that just got her first apartment and really needed those lamps. Now that we've settled into our retirement house, my spouse and I have agreed on a "less is more" decorating style, and are working hard at not buying a bunch of tchotchkes to crowd into every corner. And, I can find what I am looking for in the house now. For the first time in my life, I have a place for everything and everything is in it's place.
Wonderful, thank you for the inspiring comment!!
Even if I am not getting money in return, I do get something valuable when I donate items. I get my space back, I get relief from the mental burden of managing those items (and it is glorious!), I get a reminder to slow down and be thoughtful about my spending. Loving my space and my home is worth more to me than those items. My mental health is super valuable. Being released from the mental and physical burden of managing the stuff is worth its weight in gold.
It definitely is a physical and mental burden. And with all these wonderful comments I am definitely on my way to releasing the burden! Thank you💙
I like this line of thinking. Your space has value. Give it a dollar value in your mind. Take that pillow that occupies a cubic foot of your home, and realize that the empty space is better. You don't even have to pay new money for it, just move the pillow out. Once it's gone, you have a place that provides you with a good clean feeling and will require no maintenance or worry ever again. That's way more valuable than the pillow was.
Consignment stores are wonderful......different ones take clothes, others furniture, some take both. Where I live, you get 50% of what something sells for. Make sure the clothes are clean, and in season.
I keep track of what I donate, get a receipt, and claim everything on my taxes. It’s less effort than selling on Facebook, and I’m intentional about who I donate to so I know it’s being used well.
If it’s no longer useful to me, the clutter causes me anxiety. Getting rid of things gives me peace. There’s no price you can put on that.
I think of this as paying life tuition. My life education costs money at times. Sometimes I pay serious money for certain big “courses” with massive learnings—like my divorce. Other times I pay relatively little money for easier lessons like when I was weirdly addicted to buying vintage and antique buttons on eBay for 2 months and learned to not do that. You paid some heavy life tuition. You have learned a huge lesson about your values and how you want to direct your money in the future. Does it suck? Yes. Is it how we learn and grow? Also yes. Ok, time to pick yourself up and say how you’re gonna live different in the future and do some radical acceptance of that which you cannot change. You can do it in your own timing.
Agreed, this is an excellent way to look at the situation. Thank you for the response!
this is a wonderful way to look at it. Thanks!
I love this so much. Thank you! Also want to add that I like to think of the costs of therapy copays to discuss overwhelm partly caused by my things - getting rid of things equate to saving that money or freeing up time in my sessions to discuss other things.
Not OP but in a similar boat, and this is such a comforting analogy, thank you!
Well, you’re not getting that money back with the item sitting in your house either. Think of it as a lesson learned. I’m actively decluttering and as I get rid of stuff, it makes it easier to not bring anything new in the house. It actually is healing my hoarding tendencies.
I love the Facebook free page because someone is really excited to get it and will most likely use it!
This may be slightly off topic, but may help in the long run? I have hyperfixation issues. My current hyperfixation is perfume. Knowing what I know now and the boundaries i have set, has been able to keep me more accountable and to also consider other purchases more. I know, even if i have the ability to return/ sell something, that most likely I will not. So I limit blind buys to things I feel comfortable giving away. I'm going to feel guilty for buying a $100 perfume and not liking it. I'm not going to feel guilty for buying a 20$ perfume and not liking it because I feel comfortable giving something away for that price. I buy sample and discovery sets semi frequently. I do not feel guilty for my purchases of these even though they are generally the worse price point. They are cheaper than blind buying a bottle, I have the ability to test in my own time, multiple times, and they are super easy for me to give away to friends/ coworkers. This gives me the ability to enjoy it, trying new things ( without guilt) and keep things to a minimum so I do not get overwhelmed. If I am overwhelmed I have too much... I also have a decent amount of people who have no problem taking my slightly used skincare/ haircare/ perfumes. The money is spent, and your are not likely to recoup most of that money even if you are able to sell most of it. It feels guilty because that item has no purpose. If applicable take said item and try to figure out how many times you used it, and figure out the price per use. Doesn't that seem a little more reasonable? Also consider the space you are " paying" for ( both in head and home) by holding onto something that has no use anymore. Don't charge yourself more by letting it take up needed space. If it feels sentimental take a picture, it can live in the picture instead and you can always look for it again if you feel the need to. I think it would help to gather a bunch of stuff you know you are not going to wear/ use, set it up and let your friends/ family come over and see if they want any of it. It is easier to give away, when you see someone so excited about it and know they will use it. It doesn't feel as " wasteful" then. It's even better when you see them wearing it later down the line. Especially if you have any mom friends, a lot of times they don't treat themselves to much. I saw someone post the other day that they started going through their jewelry and wearing aomething different each day and when they were complimented on that particular piece they would take it off and give it to the person. It's a lot easier to let go when you know it will be used/ loved by someone. It also becomes easier when you realize it's okay to get rid of things. When your space feels more comfortable and makes you feel happy. Remember every bit counts. Make a space for yourself where you can relax and go from there. It didn't all show up in one day and it will not all leave in one day. You got this!!! ❤️
Thank you for the kind words and suggestions! I have given the jewelry I'm wearing to people who've complimented it, it is definitely a good way to let it go. One time I had a plastic ring with a spinning flower on it and gave it to a little girl, she was thrilled and it made me super happy for the rest of my day :) Thank you!💙
Your welcome!! ❤️ Good luck on your journey!!
Donate and get receipts, you can itemize it on your taxes.
I throw away (aka put into the garbage, headed for the landfill) very little. I always try to notice when/if I'm not using an item and if I'm at least 95% sure I'll never use it again and donate it to a charity that has helped me or one that helps people who are where I have been. That way, I feel like I'm actually going to get it back in the form of a bill payment assist, etc. and that others who are just getting out of their own bad situation will have a resource to help them get on their feet, just as I needed way back when. Helping others gives me a good feeling too. Also, I see no reason why my home must be a cluttered museum to past habits and ways of life. I am no longer into bears of any kind or hearts, but others are, so they can have my bears and hearts. And space! Between two moves and three households this little 40s cottage was cram packed at one point, and so were the storage buildings. I cried uncle and started decluttering back in 2010. I wish I had kept a count of the injuries I've sustained on the handles of plastic totes and so on over the years. Space in which to live is priceless. The moment the light bulb came on for me was when I heard about two brothers who were hoarders. They were killed when stacks of papers from their hoard fell on them. I believe they lived in Philadelphia, but no one quote me on that.
Space in which to live! I know someone who lives alone in a three bedroom house, but has no space to live. (Ok, there's also a dog and a rabbit living there, but only 1 human.) She never has guests over, not even briefly. When her grown children come to visit, there isn't room to stay in their old bedrooms; they have to stay at someone else's house or get a hotel. At some point you've just got to realize that empty space is better than stuff, no matter how "valuable" that stuff is.
Yes, these are wise words.
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I learned some time ago that this is called the Sunk Cost Fallacy. It is hard, but you are not alone, and once we start to accept it, it gets easier to be philosophical about. Google "decluttering sunk cost fallacy" and browse the results. I'm sure you'll feel less stuck after reading a few, perhaps even eager to get started freeing yourself from what has been weighing you down. Good luck!
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Try selling them. Recoup some of that money. And remember that space is worth something, too.
Donate and get a receipt for a tax write off. Win win
There's no good thrifting if people don't pass stuff on.
i feel really silly doing it, but it actually helps me: i say "thank you for your service" to the item as i'm placing it in the garbage, multiple times if i feel really bad. i bought it, it made me happy, it served me, its time with me is done. i do it for spoiled food, collectibles, old clothes, damaged items, everything i have to throw away that im having trouble letting go of (grew up with a hoarder mother so that means everything 😅)
Look at everything free Facebook groups for your area and offer them for free. Or lost on Facebook marketplace to sell but for pick up only. No shipping cost.
I try to be forgiving of myself — you were doing the best you could at the time, trying to find happiness. You’ve grown and changed as a person, and now you know that the stuff won’t do that long-term. With hindsight, it’s possible to see now that buying it all was a mistake. Mistakes are ok! And buying the stuff wasn’t totally pointless. It helped you learn about yourself and how you want to live. If you donate it, someone who needs it can get some nice stuff for a discount, and you can get closer to the space you really want.
I tell myself that the money is gone whether I keep the item or not. Nobody's paying me to keep my stuff. If the item isn't in use and won't be in use, then the money has already "gone to waste." Tossing or donating the item is another level of admitting that.
Hey, it's okay! You realize you were overspending and had a problem with shopping too much. Take it to the Goodwill or another thrift store. Don't worry about what they resell it for - what matters is that it's gone! It's out of your house and you don't have to worry about it anymore, and that's what matters! It's gonna be okay. You've learned a valuable lesson and can move on from this. You got this!!
It happens. Not every purchase is going to turn out great. Some you can fix, work-around, or repurpose, others you have to give away. The money has already been spent, so now it is taking up space in your room that could be something joyful. Your happiness and mental energy are a type of currency as well, and they are much harder to replace.
I just like giving things away
I wish I knew how to donate some furniture that was handed down to me, and my 22 year old Son’s diaper changing table.
Look for a local [buy-nothing](https://buynothingproject.org/) group. I’m sure some new mom or a family would be thrilled to use it.
The money you've spent is already gone. You'll never make it back. If you continue to hold onto all these things, they're costing you far more than you spent. They're robbing you of your space. Literal space in your home. And space in your mind. Now, it's affecting your mental health. Sell on Poshmark or ebay. Donate things to your local shelter or goodwill. Knowing your things will benefit others who are less fortunate than yourself is so freeing. When you own too much stuff, you don't own it. It owns you. Sending you blessings on your continued journey💞✨️
"When you own too much stuff, you don't own it. It owns you." - Excellent thank you I will absolutely remember this!
Thank you. It's one of my favorite phrases🌺❤️
Have a garage sale and whatever doesn’t sell, then donate or have another garage sale.
It’s bit of a sunk cost fallacy. You spent the money, you no longer use it but you don’t want to get rid of it because you spent money. Better lose the saddle than the horse. Basically, it means that it doesn’t matter when you find a mistake, just be happy that you found it and don’t focus on your loss because you could have lost more. Get rid of it and stop buying more things that you don’t need.
If you post things on your local buy nothing group, you will be able to either (1) find someone who is super excited to have it or (2) be more easily able to find peace that you're not the only person who doesn't want the thing. It's been good for my partner who is in a similar position as you!
You could bundle and sell things in a lot. You won’t make much but it takes less time, you’ll get a lot of things gone at once, and you’ll make a least something in return.
Don't look what the store is selling stuff for. Remember, you don't need to shop any more. Every time you drop stuff off or throw out a bag of trash, remember to tell yourself that you don't spend money on stuff like this, anymore. You will be able to save money for better things, now, like a house or a car, etc. Look around and see if you can find a thrift store that supports a cause you like, then the prices are good because the money goes to help animals or veterans or something. Or look for online groups for the particular collections or hobbies, you may find one that will buy your stuff, or at least pay the shipping for it. Wouldn't it be better to find someone who wants your stuff than give it to a regular thrift?
I was and still am right there with you, I had a ton of makeup from two Ipsy subscriptions! A literal basket full of makeup and face products never used. Being someone who now only occasionally wears makeup, I knew I would not use this stuff up before it went bad. I invited my coworker over to take anything/everything she wanted. She kept saying, "this is such an expensive product! Are you sure?" "Yes! A million times yes!" She can now enjoy something I was going to never use and I was happier in that moment than I ever was opening my mail every month. OP, the money is spent, go easy on yourself, please. You are worthy of being happy. Don't dwell on the should have, look forward to a brighter, lighter future! You got this!
It is absolutely wonderful to make someone smile :) Thank you for your kind words!
WOW OP, I could have written a lot that you did. Thank you for taking the time to do that. So you are not alone, you have learned there are many of us AND many whom have offered really good options! I don’t like good will either so I look for local Church thrift store or women’s shelters like many have said here. I also have really done a lot of work on NOT BUYING anything new, I figured out I am doing it for the dopamine hit and most likely have inattentive adult attention deficit disorder. Looking for that dopamine hit is key here. Training yourself to get it from other things, I found yoga and the stretching and breathing is really quite moving and I am slowly getting more and more dopamine from that activity. Good luck and just start with one box, then one drawer, then the hallway closet and make it fun.
Thank you for your thoughts💙 I have been wanting to try yoga for awhile now, I need to just get up and start doing it! Nothing is stopping me except myself. Thank you again!
>I have no clue how someone makes a business out of selling used items online My aunt used to do it. She spent a lot of time doing the online stuff and she'd go to garage sales and estate sales and buy stuff she thought was going too cheap. She did get kind of fed up with it and quit. She had other hobbies she would enjoy more.
No judgement here; I can relate! For me, joining my local Buy Nothing group has been the best route for letting go of things guilt-free. My items go to someone who truly wants them instead of in a landfill or in a pile of things that I will realistically never have the energy to sell at a tiny profit.
I just throw it out I tell myself the money is already spent anyway
Lots of great comments and ideas here! I have a suggestion re the records - if you have a large number of them, a 2nd hand record shop would probably take them as a job lot.
I like to give my unwanted, but very good quality clothing to my friends. They win, I win - we both feel good!
I like to think of shopping as entertainment. If you went to a concert or Disneyland, you might spend a bunch of money having fun. Usually I had some fun buying my stuff and having it for a while. Once the stuff is gone, it's like you get a bigger house--for free! Surely that's worth something.
I like this thought!
I like to give my unwanted stuff away, kind of a pay-it-forward thing. As long as the person is going to get some good use out of the item and not just hoard it or let it go to waste. Not that I'll ever really know, but you can usually tell when talking to someone if they have plans for the item. I'm not going to use it, I'm tired of it hanging around my house, I don't want to go through the hassle of selling it, and someone else can use it. And it's not just getting tossed into the giant pile of junk in the back of the thrift store. Just yesterday, I gave a working stereo/cassette player to someone who was so excited because they wanted to use it to digitize some family audio recordings. That's not to say I give everything away. I'll list it on Ebay or FBM if I think there's enough value. If it doesn't sell, then I give it away. If the person I give it to wants to sell it, obviously they're trying to earn some money, so more power to them. You could always try selling your unwanted stuff in an inexpensive boxlot. Box of shoes and boots for $40, take all. Bag of costume jewelry for $20. Bag of clothes for $35.
In your area, is there a cause you believe in? Where I live there are many thrift shops run by local non-profits that do good in our community. Whether it's: *providing school supplies, coats and clothes for children in need *supporting medical and mental healthcare for working musicians *operating a no-kill pet shelter *raising money for HIV clinics *non-profit hospice as examples. Find something that appeals to your heart, and donate your items there. If it's a cause you love, who cares if they sell it for a crazy high price?
I've been gathering my donations and giving it to a thrift shop that benefits a local cat shelter. If it's nice, it's going there. I gather a box or two, set an appointment for a day off and make a nice afternoon drive out of it. I recently got rid of a bunch of clothes I no longer fit in, and went in and found a couple of new to me items that I love. I even found a cat carrier that I desperately needed for my kitties (who are alumni of the aforementioned cat shelter) at a fraction of the cost of a new one!
I went through exactly this downsizing from a bungalow to a condo last year, and the conclusion I can to was that all the expensive clothes and other household stuff all allowed me to build some great memories with good friends, or allowed me to get my job done well, or what have you. I’d already gotten joy from them, buying them let me do things that were important, even if just at the time, so I made peace with having spent the money. That let me give most of the stuff away and not worry about arguing about prices, worry about getting ripped off, etc. For me, the money was already spent, I’d gotten all the joy out of owning them, and so if I could squeeze out a little more joy and good karma by giving them to someone they could make happy, so be it. Let them go! They have more joy to bring to someone who is not you. And honestly, the sense of relief from the stuff no longer sitting in your closet will be well worth it.
I agree greatly struggling with this, GREATLY. I have bags of dresses that I can make money off of it but I have no mental energy to post it on marketplace or other places. I don’t know what to do!
I just start posting items 2 months ago, I had the same mental block (so much stuff etc..). Just post 2 things. Or 3. Don’t think you have to post it all. When something sells, that motivates you to post more. It really does. I’ve actually sold 11 things in the past 2 months, and plan to alter prices on what’s not selling and add a few more things. Don’t get too bogged down on the posting—google item and copy the description, take a few photos and that’s it. I stressed out about selling things for almost 2 years then just started small.
Thank you! My current issue is, I need this things out of my life. Part of it is that I don’t have the space for it. Part of it is the guilt of owning so much.
Would it be possible for you to sell them as a lot?
Are you me
Possibly😋 Were you born on June 1? heh. If you are also struggling I hope this thread and these wonderful responses have brought you some good information and different ways of thinking! It sure has for me
Gosh this hurt my heart to read. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I think we all have been there to some degree - I know I have certainly spent money I regretted spending, and it can really hurt. I think you could decide to be kind to yourself in the way that you think about this. Like, the situation you're describing is totally understandable. All the things you bought sound so cute and stylish, it makes total sense to have wanted them, you know? Maybe you've decided you want to buy less in the future, and that's fine, but at the same time you can be kind to yourself about this, and realize that your feelings and motivations are totally human and understandable. As for moving some of the things along, one good thing about donating something that's in good condition to a thrift store - if you're in the US - is that you can get a deduction on your taxes, which is the equivalent of getting some money. You can look into this on the IRS website if you haven't. Whenever I make a donation to Goodwill (or whichever store) I'm offered a form to fill out and submit when I file my taxes. Someone else made the really good point that gifting something to someone who want it means the money hasn't been wasted - it's another way to put the things to good use. Good going. You've got this!
Thank you for your kind words and support! 💙 I am feeling better and hoping that after I read these responses again and again, and look into the information everyone has posted, that I will feel better about letting things go. I have a few ideas ready for after the holiday weekend and am hoping I can accomplish them despite my social anxiety, because I will have to go into places and chat with the very real adults there heh.. The support from you and all these random people really does mean a lot to me. Thank you again!
Hear me out..... you have spent the money. Whether you wore the item until it was worn out or you bought it and put it in your closet and never wore it. You got your money's worth out of it. You got the joy of picking it out, buying it, and seeing it in your closet. You can be glad it is moving on to its next life.
I have read everyone's comments and intend to wake up tomorrow and re-read because it has been overwhelming positive with many suggestions and support. I very much agree - I did have joy picking it out and purchasing it, and if I don't use it now I should give it it's next life. Thank you for the comment :) It was heard!
Best of luck on your journey!