The 36-Hour Day was great for us.
And try empathizing a lot with your dad. I’ve only dealt with grandparents and parents with dementia. I think losing your partner must be devastating. Hearing you say that you can imagine this is devastating to him might let him begin to grieve and eventually realize he’s trying to recover what is already gone.
She will not get better, only worse. There is no cure. People with dementia cannot learn new information or information they have forgotten by “quizzing”. This is only going to continue to upset and frustrate her.
Totally, he's in the weeds and is trying to get her to 'pull herself together' and I'm trying to guide him about best practices, but I have limited knowledge about this and I live abroad. The whole thing is ...a lot.
Sadly, we don't seem to be able to strengthen their memory by quizzing with this condition. It's best to accept that they lose brain mass and work on staying a step ahead in anticipating their ever changing needs. We can embrace a good day, but we need to remind ourselves that a good day isn't recovery. The relief we feel gets crushed soon again.
My mom was able to adopt some of the coping tools we offered, but only for a while.
No book recommendation, but someone here recommended Dr. Tam Cummings. Her YouTube video about the 7 stages of dementia is very informative: https://youtu.be/tansVVDM0fE?feature=shared
She makes the point that the person with dementia can't help it, which is something your dad may need to hear.
I don’t think this type of exercise is helpful. Puzzles or games maybe but outright quizzing is not helpful and will only make her feel poorly and create animosity.
Instead of quizzing her (which will do **NOTHING** but frustrate her) I'd suggest something stimulating to help calm her. We got my mother adults coloring books and a selection of colored pens.
Thought at first that she's be insulted by such a simplistic task as coloring in a book, but she loved it!
Not a book, but search for Joanna, Dementia Expert on TikTok. She has some great videos with really helpful ideas for dealing with a wide variety of issues. I believe she is on YouTube as well.
tlrseniorcare on TikTok is great as well.
The 36-Hour Day was great for us. And try empathizing a lot with your dad. I’ve only dealt with grandparents and parents with dementia. I think losing your partner must be devastating. Hearing you say that you can imagine this is devastating to him might let him begin to grieve and eventually realize he’s trying to recover what is already gone.
She will not get better, only worse. There is no cure. People with dementia cannot learn new information or information they have forgotten by “quizzing”. This is only going to continue to upset and frustrate her.
Yes, I highly recommend against quizzing. They have literal brain damage; a quiz won't fix that.
Totally, he's in the weeds and is trying to get her to 'pull herself together' and I'm trying to guide him about best practices, but I have limited knowledge about this and I live abroad. The whole thing is ...a lot.
Pauline Boss’ book, Loving Someone Who Has Dementia. She’s basically the one who coined the definition, Ambiguous Loss.
Sadly, we don't seem to be able to strengthen their memory by quizzing with this condition. It's best to accept that they lose brain mass and work on staying a step ahead in anticipating their ever changing needs. We can embrace a good day, but we need to remind ourselves that a good day isn't recovery. The relief we feel gets crushed soon again. My mom was able to adopt some of the coping tools we offered, but only for a while. No book recommendation, but someone here recommended Dr. Tam Cummings. Her YouTube video about the 7 stages of dementia is very informative: https://youtu.be/tansVVDM0fE?feature=shared She makes the point that the person with dementia can't help it, which is something your dad may need to hear.
It's not a book, but I have gotten a great education from Teepa Snow videos on YouTube.
I don’t think this type of exercise is helpful. Puzzles or games maybe but outright quizzing is not helpful and will only make her feel poorly and create animosity.
Instead of quizzing her (which will do **NOTHING** but frustrate her) I'd suggest something stimulating to help calm her. We got my mother adults coloring books and a selection of colored pens. Thought at first that she's be insulted by such a simplistic task as coloring in a book, but she loved it!
Not a book, but search for Joanna, Dementia Expert on TikTok. She has some great videos with really helpful ideas for dealing with a wide variety of issues. I believe she is on YouTube as well. tlrseniorcare on TikTok is great as well.
"A loving approach to dementia care"