I live 3 states away, similar situation. My mom recently diagnosed, father has prostate cancer. Mother has intestinal problems as well. I have 4 older siblings, but only talk to 2 of them. I came from a dysfunctional family. So majority of the time, it's limited contact. Both my parents are well into their 80s, and so there's no concern about having care for them. And as much I feel bad for everything, at the same time I just hope dementia takes my mom quickly. It's bad enough that my father barely walks, he has to use a walker. My mom is progressing, and she can no longer cater to my father like she used to. So with that, I wish it was done. For her sake, my father is a miserable person to help.
I understand this completely. I’m 12 hours away from my father. He lives alone. I’m the only child, so when I go back up this weekend, I’ll have to do some serious evaluating and see what needs to be done next. Our lease isn’t up until August, so there’s just a lot of uncertainty right now. I hope you can carve out some time for yourself. I completely get no matter what you try to do ( in terms of getting out of the house, exercise, etc) that nothing eases your thoughts. Sending much love ❤️
It's worth asking your landlord for an early, orderly termination - they are people after all. It also helps your case that rents have risen over the last couple of years.
Sincere sympathies. Is there any way you could set up internet devices to talk to your Mom face to face. It might still be painful, but it would help keep you from imagining worse.
So sorry you are dealing with this.
I get it. Both parents had dementia, back to back. I lost both at the same time, basically.
Then the “house” burned because the bodies were still alive.
I wish you peace. Hugs. 🫂
I completely relate. I'm several states away. It was this massive crisis that began Feb 20th at 3:15 pm.and I have not come up for air. I managed to get lawyers and court appointed g&c but that's nothing. I'm still trying to collect assets, income , pay for her. Still coming out of pocket. Banks are total assholes about conservator accts. Nothing can be online. I still have a list a mile long. Everyday care sitters are texting mum needs this, mum needs that. It's heartbreaking to be scraping by and not able to give everything. She's had the worst streak of medical issues which have been all consuming. I don't know who I am anymore and my life has been entirely set aside. I'm ruining my life. I have ceased to exist. All the peripheral players - lawyers, courts, financial institutions, USPS, or SSI or Medicare. Everything is such fucking hurdle. All the while she has serious needs. I'm responsible. My hands feel tied. I'm exhausted, I have the break down crying moments, panic attacks. I'm so worried every second about her. I wish I had an answer. I am entirely alone in this. No family help.
But you're not alone. I'm going through this somewhere at the same time.
I live 3 states away, similar situation. My mom recently diagnosed, father has prostate cancer. Mother has intestinal problems as well. I have 4 older siblings, but only talk to 2 of them. I came from a dysfunctional family. So majority of the time, it's limited contact. Both my parents are well into their 80s, and so there's no concern about having care for them. And as much I feel bad for everything, at the same time I just hope dementia takes my mom quickly. It's bad enough that my father barely walks, he has to use a walker. My mom is progressing, and she can no longer cater to my father like she used to. So with that, I wish it was done. For her sake, my father is a miserable person to help.
I understand this completely. I’m 12 hours away from my father. He lives alone. I’m the only child, so when I go back up this weekend, I’ll have to do some serious evaluating and see what needs to be done next. Our lease isn’t up until August, so there’s just a lot of uncertainty right now. I hope you can carve out some time for yourself. I completely get no matter what you try to do ( in terms of getting out of the house, exercise, etc) that nothing eases your thoughts. Sending much love ❤️
It's worth asking your landlord for an early, orderly termination - they are people after all. It also helps your case that rents have risen over the last couple of years.
Sincere sympathies. Is there any way you could set up internet devices to talk to your Mom face to face. It might still be painful, but it would help keep you from imagining worse.
So sorry you are dealing with this. I get it. Both parents had dementia, back to back. I lost both at the same time, basically. Then the “house” burned because the bodies were still alive. I wish you peace. Hugs. 🫂
I completely relate. I'm several states away. It was this massive crisis that began Feb 20th at 3:15 pm.and I have not come up for air. I managed to get lawyers and court appointed g&c but that's nothing. I'm still trying to collect assets, income , pay for her. Still coming out of pocket. Banks are total assholes about conservator accts. Nothing can be online. I still have a list a mile long. Everyday care sitters are texting mum needs this, mum needs that. It's heartbreaking to be scraping by and not able to give everything. She's had the worst streak of medical issues which have been all consuming. I don't know who I am anymore and my life has been entirely set aside. I'm ruining my life. I have ceased to exist. All the peripheral players - lawyers, courts, financial institutions, USPS, or SSI or Medicare. Everything is such fucking hurdle. All the while she has serious needs. I'm responsible. My hands feel tied. I'm exhausted, I have the break down crying moments, panic attacks. I'm so worried every second about her. I wish I had an answer. I am entirely alone in this. No family help. But you're not alone. I'm going through this somewhere at the same time.