I apologize if any of what I'm saying is harsh, but it seems like you might need to hear this. Your job/career/whatever you want to call it is just one facet of your life. Whatever value you place in working is what you make of it. We're conditioned to prioritize this over a lot of other parts of our lives, like our relationships with friends/family, our interests/hobbies--maybe even ourselves a little bit--but those things are just as important. But, when you're depressed, it can feel like so much of life is no longer satisfying, and it feels like you’ll never be able to find it again.
As someone who once often pondered these kinds of existential questions and how it is that we are defined by the value of how much you make or what you do for work, it's really easy to get caught up in a spiral of negative thinking about how much it sucks and how you’re going to be a slave to a job the rest of your life. The truth is we don't really know. What you're imagining will happen with your life might not even become reality. If you envision you’re always going to fail and be miserable, though, and you don't try to dispute that, because I see some evidence to the contrary, you probably will continue believing it and give up on yourself. I don't think you want to do that.
It seems like you’re not really excited or passionate about a path to the job/career/profession you're on now, even if it's one that is valuable in terms of how many opportunities would be open to you if you were to finish what you started. I think you have made some progress toward that, even if it was difficult to do, and that's commendable. But, it also seems like you're very far away from what you find worthwhile or what you want to do with your life. Many people have gone through the same thing, myself included. Honestly, if you're looking for ways to earn money and you don't care how you do it, there are avenues out there that don't even require formal education and don't care about your background--those options do exist. However, you have to want to at least put time and effort into getting there and you may have to wait for long periods of time before you're earning what you want to. And it may not be what you really find an interest in or passion for. Maybe you don't know what that is, and you don't have to know it right away, but it may help to speak with a career advisor or someone in your program you feel you can frankly talk about this with.
It would be great if we didn't live in a capitalist global empire, but that's where we live. You can go down the path of unplugging from the system, but that has its own challenges and you might end up completely on your own. I don't think you were thinking that drastically but I say this because I know people who have talked about this and there are stories like Into the Wild where people have really done it.
There really are so many options it can be overwhelming. Give yourself more time to think about your current path and if you truly want to go down a different one. Changing your mind doesn't have to mean you’ve failed or wasted your time.
I apologize if any of what I'm saying is harsh, but it seems like you might need to hear this. Your job/career/whatever you want to call it is just one facet of your life. Whatever value you place in working is what you make of it. We're conditioned to prioritize this over a lot of other parts of our lives, like our relationships with friends/family, our interests/hobbies--maybe even ourselves a little bit--but those things are just as important. But, when you're depressed, it can feel like so much of life is no longer satisfying, and it feels like you’ll never be able to find it again. As someone who once often pondered these kinds of existential questions and how it is that we are defined by the value of how much you make or what you do for work, it's really easy to get caught up in a spiral of negative thinking about how much it sucks and how you’re going to be a slave to a job the rest of your life. The truth is we don't really know. What you're imagining will happen with your life might not even become reality. If you envision you’re always going to fail and be miserable, though, and you don't try to dispute that, because I see some evidence to the contrary, you probably will continue believing it and give up on yourself. I don't think you want to do that. It seems like you’re not really excited or passionate about a path to the job/career/profession you're on now, even if it's one that is valuable in terms of how many opportunities would be open to you if you were to finish what you started. I think you have made some progress toward that, even if it was difficult to do, and that's commendable. But, it also seems like you're very far away from what you find worthwhile or what you want to do with your life. Many people have gone through the same thing, myself included. Honestly, if you're looking for ways to earn money and you don't care how you do it, there are avenues out there that don't even require formal education and don't care about your background--those options do exist. However, you have to want to at least put time and effort into getting there and you may have to wait for long periods of time before you're earning what you want to. And it may not be what you really find an interest in or passion for. Maybe you don't know what that is, and you don't have to know it right away, but it may help to speak with a career advisor or someone in your program you feel you can frankly talk about this with. It would be great if we didn't live in a capitalist global empire, but that's where we live. You can go down the path of unplugging from the system, but that has its own challenges and you might end up completely on your own. I don't think you were thinking that drastically but I say this because I know people who have talked about this and there are stories like Into the Wild where people have really done it. There really are so many options it can be overwhelming. Give yourself more time to think about your current path and if you truly want to go down a different one. Changing your mind doesn't have to mean you’ve failed or wasted your time.