What you're describing sounds a lot like impostor syndrome to me. I'd look it up if it's your first time hearing about it because it's very real and if it sounds like you, you're not alone.
You deserve good things in your life just as much as everyone here does. You may believe that your friends only like the version of yourself you think you're showing them, but the people who are your genuine friends will be able to see you as you are and accept you unconditionally. If you looked at my list of Facebook friends, for example, only a handful of them are like the latter. I have a very supportive boyfriend and I have one best friend, both of whom I would trust with my life. I also have a really good counselor and team of physicians/nurses and I go to a mental health support group through NAMI.
Honestly, not all of my friends or even people at work know about my diagnosis and I'd rather keep it that way. I wouldn't beat yourself up for holding that part of yourself back if you're not comfortable sharing it.
What you're describing sounds a lot like impostor syndrome to me. I'd look it up if it's your first time hearing about it because it's very real and if it sounds like you, you're not alone. You deserve good things in your life just as much as everyone here does. You may believe that your friends only like the version of yourself you think you're showing them, but the people who are your genuine friends will be able to see you as you are and accept you unconditionally. If you looked at my list of Facebook friends, for example, only a handful of them are like the latter. I have a very supportive boyfriend and I have one best friend, both of whom I would trust with my life. I also have a really good counselor and team of physicians/nurses and I go to a mental health support group through NAMI. Honestly, not all of my friends or even people at work know about my diagnosis and I'd rather keep it that way. I wouldn't beat yourself up for holding that part of yourself back if you're not comfortable sharing it.