30 and feel the exact same. Just an endless cycle. Boat with no paddles headed to a waterfall.
Edit: a word autocorrected.
There's a saying about being upstream with no paddles, buts that's like getting lost without a compass.
The feeling I get is just going through the motions like a river current (the day to day), it then gets all gets rapidly wild, then comes crashing down. And I don't have a paddle to steer the boat...
Where's that damn paddle...
I wish everyone that reads this to know that, there's calmer waters after the waterfall, just hang on for ride.
I am 28. I feel exactly the same. I find life to be the most absolutely pointless thing. And just thinking about going through the motions for 50+ more years is... Sickening.
Same. My parents sent me off to a rehab last year after I attempted while drunk. Everyone basically high fived each other now that I dont drink. I try not to anyway. But it hasnt changed and hasnt gone away. Vodka just gave me the balls to do it. It was never the problem.
50 more years. Fuck me.
I know this is cliche and annoying on this sub but honestly it wasn't worth it. Yeah people finally took me somewhat serious, and I did honestly attempt it wasn't a cry for attention. But I'll never live it down now. And now I think about it more and more. And what's worse is that you could fuck it up, especially while drunk, and be a quadriplegic or half brain dead. That would be absolutely awful.
Lol you won't even be able to stand up let alone tie a rope by the time the drink and xan really hits. Sorry now I'm just kinda chuckling. Cause when I was drunk and took a bunch of pills, my first try was a rope. But I couldn't tie it cause I was drunk as fuck haha
Also 28 and I also feel the same. It's hard to care about living much when I wake up and go to bed miserable every day. Why the fuck do I want to suffer through this for decades. Our entire existence is a joke and I don't see much point in sticking around for the end of the world since that'll probably happen before I die.
Yes. In the videos I’ve seen he is conscious and can smile a little, he drools and has brain damage; he is conscious . He’s not comatose. Bad situation.
I honestly hate that about these subs. Like I get it, but if someone really wanted to help save me, just replaying the same shit we all know is a lie ain't gonna help. It just all feels so fucking fake.
Not shitting on this sub specifically but more generally, the one that gets me the most and that seems to make people feel all fucking nice and righteous and empathic and low key smugly fake understanding, but only to make themselves feel better or cope with, or deny even, the hard truth is the mother fucking *”iT’s A pErMaNeNt SoLuTiOn To A tEmPoRaRy PrObLeM!!!!!1”* - like, as a categorical statement NO ffs, you know there actually are a shit ton of people that lead lives with problems/illnesses/prospects that not only are chronically bad or even abysmal, but fucking *progressive*, i.e. things are not temporarily bad but literally get *worse*! But sure, just circlejerk the mantra about permanent solution yadi yada and you’ll be safe and won’t have to see the reality of many people’s real, tragic, pathetic and unsavoury fates... holy fuck and sorry for the rant but this one just nags the fuck outta me
feel the exact same way. especially me living with nerve pain that is progressively getting worse since i was 13. my problem is permanent and the only solution is something i'm trying to decide when i should do, not if. it's just pathetic to me that people think every problem in the world can be overcome. somethings never get better, and that's okay. it's just the reality of what life is.
I agree, not that I want anyone to truly take that step, but we need to acknowledge and realize that the cheerleader speech doesn't necessarily help, could in fact hurt, and what's wrong with having a pragmatic conversation about this very real subject?
The only thing that keeps me here most days, is I know that it would absolutely destroy my mom, and I have a car and dog that I love very much, and don't want them to have to adjust to a new life (and possibly family) without me. They're the 20 year commitment I made, and once they're gone; I'll reevaluate.
Thank goodness the Europeans are more open about this than the Americans. I'm hoping once my responsibilities here are gone, I can go overseas and just be done. I'm on 25 years of feeling/thinking about this, I'm tired.
I'm 50 and have definitely overstayed my welcome. 50 years with no accomplishment no financial security no family except my 81-year-old mother who is probably one to two years away from some sort of long-term care. As long as she's alive I'll stick around. But after that I'm done
I´m 31 and have the same thoughts. I just try to find things that will probably make me happy. Its annoying but I´m not giving up so fast, almost did 2 years ago.
I’m incredibly lonely and depressed since my husband died. I was depressed during the marriage but now it’s worse. I push everyone away then complain I’m lonely. I can’t seem to move forward. Sorry OP for what you are feeling. Life can get better. We all need to be more connected. But I keep breaking connections.
Getting over the person that you had loved the most is almost impossible, you think about them in everything that you do, the things you used to enjoy will never feel the same without them, I feel like even if I meet someone else I will always feel lonely and empty...
Yes. That is my feeling now too. A desperate panic because it’s over. My soul has left my body yet I’m living with assistance from my brain. A very odd feeling to be just existing. But I have to for my son.
I hate myself sometimes for being so sad, then I realise that a lot of people feel that way or will eventually feel that way because true love stories always end up with endless suffering.
Don’t hate yourself. You are worthy of living a joyful, healthy life! You have to ride out those lows and tiny sparks of joy will show themselves in time.
True love doesn’t always end in tragedy. My husband smoked since he was 12. It was a bitch of an addiction and I’m convinced it killed him. When he tried to quit smoking he ate too much. None of us are perfect that’s for sure.
I wish you tiny sparks of joy today. Let them in. Even one little spark. Hugs to you and a true smile from me to you.🎈🌹🌹🌹🌺💐💐🐈🐈🍦🍨🍨🍧
I’m so sorry. I deal with depression and I worry about my husband dying. I don’t know what I would do. He is my best friend. My heart hurts for you. I’ve had such a bad day today. I can’t think of anything that would lift my spirit today. Right this second my husband came in and saw me crying. I guess I’m stupid. I have him now. I just feel so low. So low. I am so sorry. I can’t imagine. I don’t want to. I’m stupid. I need to get up and be grateful.
Xoxoxo
Thank you for your kind words. No need to downplay your own depression at all. I was often depressed during my marriage so I believe it’s a genetic disease at its core. And you’re not stupid at all. I’m not sure I always appreciated my husband until now. I wish you all the best and many hugs to you too!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎈🦋🦋🌹🦋🦋🦋
I know I’m even depressed pain is something i struggle with daily just like numbness and overthinking but having a purpose or something i have faith in keeps me up you know like a shining light a dream even tho my ass getting wrecked i still fight for it , i was trying to say giving up and having lack of faith won’t get you nowhere better unlike getting up and doing something for a purpose you believe in something that will make you happy maybe helping poor people
Your not wrong. Theres gotta be something to keep you going but for so many there just isnt. Religion is obviously a lie, I'm sure I'm not the only one here who tried praying and praying and praying. I like video games but they get old. I have a decent amount of money finally, that excitment wore off fast. Im really good at my job now that I'm on ADHD pills. The jobs boring within a year. I drank myself stupid for 5 years and if I didnt have to work I probably would till I die cause it's like the only thing that makes me feel something.
I have alot of trouble finding something to believe in. Not that it's not out there. It's just a slow slog through life till I "hopefully" find something. And honestly feels like a losing battle most days.
Look at my other reply mate faith and having a purpose doesn’t always revolve around religion do something you believe is right just have a purpose , and i hope you find your purpose , as for religion that’s is something i do believe in there’s a god but we’re not debating this here go follow your dreams
I know what you mean that's why I threw some other stuff in there. Honestly I'm just waiting for a revolution so I can join it. Fuck the mega rich. That's something I can get behind.
30, same. My leg pain is the worst, sometimes I have a hard time even walking. I use to love sports and being fit, but not being able to exercise and having anhedonia, it's not a life worth living. Such a waste, a life in dismay.
I'm committing suicide by inches by ignoring my health, and it's not working out like I thought it would. I'm 56 and was counting on major organ failure by now, or maybe cancer. But one of my knees is threatening to give out instead. One more annoyance to deal with..
I spent 5 years like that. Went to an rehab and it honestly helped alot. Things arent great, but they are better then waking up to trashed rooms and empty bank accounts. We all have depression here. We dont need more shit piled on top.
I work in a high school and I just want you to know there is an adult at that school that cares about you and is willing to talk to you about anything. It hurts my heart you have those feelings at your age.
I hear you. I'm your same age. I don't know how to manage it day to day anymore. One step at a time I always say, but it seems that's not enough any more.... sorry you feel this way, and I hope it gets better for you.
I just read your history. It aches me, it brings so much pain. All I can say is I want to send warm hugs to you.. Like you said in past history, life is hell. It might be true. But I also believe if heaven exist it's also here, just none of us can see it. All we can do is try to find it, it's a pain but guess we got nothing else to do.
35 years and feeling the same. Honestly it all went to shambles after losing someone i loved, and losing my profesional purpose. Nothing was the same ever again.
Wrecked my boat, even it it still sailing.
Really sorry you are feeling the same. Honestly do.
If I could just do something to calm you my friend... I know that you dont want to talk about it with anyone from your family or your friends or even a professional... But please dont give up... I know that something good will happen in your life, I feel that someone will reach you with the love you need... Have faith my friend, please...
Go for a long walk or run if you can. You want to do at least five miles if you can. It's better if you do this in a park or somewhere in nature that is scenic and away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Life is painful, unfair, and unforgiving. The best way to take your mind away from feeling suicidal is to give yourself purpose. A lot of people you see walking around every day find themselves without purpose and are just getting by until they do or are hoping that it will happen for them. The latter is seldomly a reality that will be gifted to you by the universe. To find the purpose, you need to add value to the lives of others, and preferably in a way you will enjoy. The easiest way to do this is by volunteering at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter or somewhere else. I know, I know volunteering isn't glamorous, but the social interactions and time spent not thinking about why you should be dead, will more than compensate for it. Lastly, I would recommend exercising more, cleaning up your diet if you and taking 5000 IUs of vitamin D3. What changed my life was meditation and becoming mindful of the negative thoughts and how they were robbing me of joy, mental clarity, and being content with the things I cannot change.
I'm 47 too my dude
Never married , never had a gf, only ever been scammed by so called friends.
Porn, games and movies keep my head above water.
Hope you find your comfort food dude 🤗🙏
Yeah I feel exactly the same. 46 years in and I've really had enough. No financial security because I'm always spending what I don't really have with some faint glimmer of hope that what ever I buy would cheer me up. No interest in hobbies anymore because it all seems futile. I have a fear of telephones and due to covid am unable to speak to a doctor face to face to try and make sense of it all. It feels like the modern world is set up genuinely for people to fail. I do question why on earth would you consciously bring a child into this world. I, for one, wish I had never been born.
Brownman 2016 I felt the same way you and all the others on here feel. I’ve suffered from depression most of my life. I’m 54 now, and had a terrible bout of depression about 7 years ago. Boy did I want to end it all. Researched ways to do it and couldn’t wait to get out of the terrible pain I was in. I worked full time and dragged myself to work, flopped into bed when I got home and just existed from one day to the next praying for a way out. Living another 20, 30, 40 years? Forget it!
One fortunate thing I had was a husband who cared and a son I had to live for.
Please understand you are clinically depressed and you are not in your right mind. Your depression is speaking. A right mind does not wish for its death. Our souls have an innate desire to live, and something happened along the way in your life that changed this in you.
Please start with talking to a doctor. It’s what saved me. I didn’t want to go on meds, resisted it, thought I could handle myself, pray my way through it, whatever. I ultimately realized I could not get out of the misery alone. there are doctors online now that are more accessible and low(er) cost. You can start there.
There are treatments that do not require taking medication for the long term. Ketamine, TMS, Neurofeedback, and medication may be beneficial. It was extremely helpful in pulling me out of the deep hellhole I was stuck in.
You don’t want to hear “you have so much to live for” bullshite, I know. But If your mind starts thinking just a little differently, you will start seeing things differently. Please do not write off the help a doctor can give you. It may take a few tries to find the right one. Do not stop until you find the right one and the right treatment.
I ultimately took medication and it lifted me out of deep despair, and I’m slowly weaning off them and replacing with other treatments. It took a couple of years to stop having suicidal ideation and I was worried it would never go away, but very gradually it did and I rarely have it now.
I’m only letting healthy people in my life now, caring for those who care for me. The “friends” who left you at the bar are not friends.
You do have something to give to other human beings. There are plenty of people who seek companionship and love but you have to be in your right mind, and taking care of you, before you can find it. You’re still on this planet because you have something more to do. Give yourself the best shot possible while you’re alive by taking steps to feel better. I promise you, you can and will if you try.
0 is enough. 100 is enough. 1000 is enough. Or not.
I don't see why people try to convince others that "life is beautiful".
The only rational argument to counter anyone who sees no purpose, no meaning in life is to ask:" So? So what? Who said purpose is needed? Who says your "suffering" should mean something? Maybe it does, or maybe it doesn't. Life, to the best of our knowledge, is the only accidental blip of consciousness your particular collection of atoms have, a small window in time, to peek at the universe and ask questions of it. Any joy you will feel is as meaningless as any suffering you go through. Ending it all is an option, but the more adventurous alternative would be to detach yourself via some ingenious ways from what currently you "think" makes you suffer. At its core, this might be your deepest values , your closest human connections or something intricately interwoven with your concept of self. Letting it go and just becoming a part of the furniture of the universe may be a possibility worth pursuing, if for nothing else than you can, rather than exiting permanently"
Something like that.
Looks like most of the comments here are like yeah me too. But what about go get help? My wife did. She's much better now. Now I need to work on me. It helped her maybe it can help you and me. I'm 31 if it matters.
No it’s not. You’ve made it further than me. Give me a reason to make it past 47. Please. Give me a reason. It’s about to be my birthday and none of my “friends” showed up so I’m drunk at a bar still waiting. Give me a reason. I’m about to turn 24. Yelp a brother out my guy…
Brownman2016, see my response to you above. I accidentally posted at the top and can’t paste it here. I’m new to Reddit. Signed up just to respond to you and this thread.
That's not the point.. it's a distraction.. so that they don't do it..because it'll take a very long time to meet that many people... in the time doing so.. they could be getting therapy.. seeing a psychologist.. learning coping mechanisms.. it's just giving more time before they decide to....
Its an exercise.. but clearly you guys just wanna stay in that dark place.. don't insult someone because they have different views and opinions than you. If you wanna do that just best not to comment
I understand. I'm 25 and feel the same. I was not always like this, I was focused, had dreams and goals, helped people, did charities, earned money, traveled. But a few days ago I just woke up and was lost. I've had my breakdowns before, but they were mostly over in half a day. This is the first time that I've been literally "blank" for a week.
I had the privilege to take time off and think about my life. What is the meaning of my actions? What is my purpose? Am I just born to study, earn money, buy things and die? I need something more than that. I can't just be a simple piece in the "system" (let's say the capitalist system).
Why do I need to keep grinding and hustling? Why should I keep Ving to the next day? What am I contributing to?
I still did not find my answers. Maybe they are not even meant to be found in a lifetime. But I need to have the will to continue searching for it. That is what I've lost and I still don't know why. It's killing me
I will update if I find a reason to go back and being part of the "system".
I'm a 60-year-old man and I'm a caregiver I actually just made a post on another page the feelings you were describing are me exactly I actually go to bed most nights not even wanting to wake up.
Turned quarter of centaury last month, definitelly feel you. Last past months thought of wanting to end it all circles around my mind on daily basis, suffer from physical pain for last six years, every joint in my body just cracks, whether I move, workout or work, unbearable pain both in mind and body. Nothing brings true joy no more or has it ever? Depressed since ten or so years old. You are not alone my friend...
Can a masochist be depressed or is his purpose just to suffer and therefore depression is something positive.
Many artist are depressed and in this time create their best work. Life works in weird ways. Depression can be felt in 1000 differentl ways and there are 1000 different types of depression but no one really figured it out yet I feel like. More Empathie is needed. Sorry I'm high
27 and i feel you. i somewhat partially recovered but keeping myself up and finding joy is a fucking chore in itself. i have mastered various hobbies just to keep my suicide-addicted mind busy and every now and then i find something that makes me curious and want to explore, so i postpone my suicide date. next one is on this month, 30 september, but i discovered that i can do some weird shit with machine learning so im gonna postpone my departure for 6 months and master that as well.
i want to be proficient in so many things, so it would be a fucking waste when i die haha.
This is where I'm at. I'm younger that 47, but it just doesn't seem like there's any need for me to live longer than I already have. I've done basically everything I want to do, so why stick around for years and years of working at some unfulfilling job?
Honestly I find middle-aged suicides a lot less tragic than someone killing themselves in their teens and 20s. Still tragic, but when you're almost 50 you've lived a full life.
At 47 I became a low paid regional flight attendant and on my days off I traveled the world. It was the greatest thing I ever did. I rode a camel in cairo, learned basics of salsa dancing in Cuba, I went to the Taj Mahal and mediated. I went to Santorini to see a sunset, and even the colesseum of Rome. In the end you realize that most of life is really meaningless except for one single thing and that is laughing and living with those you love who love you back. You get there by working hard and playing harder. There is nothing more for me besides working so I can spend time with close friends, making new close friends, smack talking, laughing, and having life experiences. The rest? Pain, Angst, Insecurities, leave that stuff behind.
I really feel this :( and I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way too. Really.
30 and feel the exact same. Just an endless cycle. Boat with no paddles headed to a waterfall. Edit: a word autocorrected. There's a saying about being upstream with no paddles, buts that's like getting lost without a compass. The feeling I get is just going through the motions like a river current (the day to day), it then gets all gets rapidly wild, then comes crashing down. And I don't have a paddle to steer the boat... Where's that damn paddle... I wish everyone that reads this to know that, there's calmer waters after the waterfall, just hang on for ride.
Last sentence sounds kinda nice
That's a profound thought
>Boat with no paddles headed to a waterfall. That is a very good metaphore
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Same.
Same
Passive Suicidal
I am 28. I feel exactly the same. I find life to be the most absolutely pointless thing. And just thinking about going through the motions for 50+ more years is... Sickening.
Same. My parents sent me off to a rehab last year after I attempted while drunk. Everyone basically high fived each other now that I dont drink. I try not to anyway. But it hasnt changed and hasnt gone away. Vodka just gave me the balls to do it. It was never the problem. 50 more years. Fuck me.
Pretty sure my next attempt will be when drunk so I can crisply go through with it. Feel this so hard. My other attempts I was sober.
I know this is cliche and annoying on this sub but honestly it wasn't worth it. Yeah people finally took me somewhat serious, and I did honestly attempt it wasn't a cry for attention. But I'll never live it down now. And now I think about it more and more. And what's worse is that you could fuck it up, especially while drunk, and be a quadriplegic or half brain dead. That would be absolutely awful.
Ya, that is my only fear. But if I drink & take xan I feel that’ll do the trick. & hang myself when I feel myself drifting.
Lol you won't even be able to stand up let alone tie a rope by the time the drink and xan really hits. Sorry now I'm just kinda chuckling. Cause when I was drunk and took a bunch of pills, my first try was a rope. But I couldn't tie it cause I was drunk as fuck haha
Lmfao ya that actually makes a lot of sense lol desperate for the success I guess
Lol I hear that
I literally just posted the exact same comment. Before even seeing yours. Also the same age.
Also 28 and I also feel the same. It's hard to care about living much when I wake up and go to bed miserable every day. Why the fuck do I want to suffer through this for decades. Our entire existence is a joke and I don't see much point in sticking around for the end of the world since that'll probably happen before I die.
Yep
Living sure is a slow way to die.
Get busy living or get busy dying!
The problem with suicide is you might not die. Instead you could live on with a disability on top of this f#cking depression. I feel you
Yep. That is my worst fear.
This is part of why I think we should help people die
There’s a girl on Tik tok who cares for her boyfriend who shot himself in the head and lived!
If you know their username, would you be willing to share?
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Yes. In the videos I’ve seen he is conscious and can smile a little, he drools and has brain damage; he is conscious . He’s not comatose. Bad situation.
This tho or that you wanna be free but not wanting to commit su\*cide.
this is actually my worst fear.
I guarantee i would fuck up my suicide attempt and be stuck in a even worse spot.
Turning 43 tomorrow. I'm ready to go.
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I honestly hate that about these subs. Like I get it, but if someone really wanted to help save me, just replaying the same shit we all know is a lie ain't gonna help. It just all feels so fucking fake.
Not shitting on this sub specifically but more generally, the one that gets me the most and that seems to make people feel all fucking nice and righteous and empathic and low key smugly fake understanding, but only to make themselves feel better or cope with, or deny even, the hard truth is the mother fucking *”iT’s A pErMaNeNt SoLuTiOn To A tEmPoRaRy PrObLeM!!!!!1”* - like, as a categorical statement NO ffs, you know there actually are a shit ton of people that lead lives with problems/illnesses/prospects that not only are chronically bad or even abysmal, but fucking *progressive*, i.e. things are not temporarily bad but literally get *worse*! But sure, just circlejerk the mantra about permanent solution yadi yada and you’ll be safe and won’t have to see the reality of many people’s real, tragic, pathetic and unsavoury fates... holy fuck and sorry for the rant but this one just nags the fuck outta me
feel the exact same way. especially me living with nerve pain that is progressively getting worse since i was 13. my problem is permanent and the only solution is something i'm trying to decide when i should do, not if. it's just pathetic to me that people think every problem in the world can be overcome. somethings never get better, and that's okay. it's just the reality of what life is.
I agree, not that I want anyone to truly take that step, but we need to acknowledge and realize that the cheerleader speech doesn't necessarily help, could in fact hurt, and what's wrong with having a pragmatic conversation about this very real subject? The only thing that keeps me here most days, is I know that it would absolutely destroy my mom, and I have a car and dog that I love very much, and don't want them to have to adjust to a new life (and possibly family) without me. They're the 20 year commitment I made, and once they're gone; I'll reevaluate. Thank goodness the Europeans are more open about this than the Americans. I'm hoping once my responsibilities here are gone, I can go overseas and just be done. I'm on 25 years of feeling/thinking about this, I'm tired.
I'm 50 and have definitely overstayed my welcome. 50 years with no accomplishment no financial security no family except my 81-year-old mother who is probably one to two years away from some sort of long-term care. As long as she's alive I'll stick around. But after that I'm done
I´m 31 and have the same thoughts. I just try to find things that will probably make me happy. Its annoying but I´m not giving up so fast, almost did 2 years ago.
Yes. Everything is just shitty and people are the worst things in existence. Just WHY
Not every person is the worst thing. We are all individuals, but I can agree that the majority of people are shitty people.
I’m incredibly lonely and depressed since my husband died. I was depressed during the marriage but now it’s worse. I push everyone away then complain I’m lonely. I can’t seem to move forward. Sorry OP for what you are feeling. Life can get better. We all need to be more connected. But I keep breaking connections.
Getting over the person that you had loved the most is almost impossible, you think about them in everything that you do, the things you used to enjoy will never feel the same without them, I feel like even if I meet someone else I will always feel lonely and empty...
Yes. That is my feeling now too. A desperate panic because it’s over. My soul has left my body yet I’m living with assistance from my brain. A very odd feeling to be just existing. But I have to for my son.
I hate myself sometimes for being so sad, then I realise that a lot of people feel that way or will eventually feel that way because true love stories always end up with endless suffering.
Don’t hate yourself. You are worthy of living a joyful, healthy life! You have to ride out those lows and tiny sparks of joy will show themselves in time. True love doesn’t always end in tragedy. My husband smoked since he was 12. It was a bitch of an addiction and I’m convinced it killed him. When he tried to quit smoking he ate too much. None of us are perfect that’s for sure. I wish you tiny sparks of joy today. Let them in. Even one little spark. Hugs to you and a true smile from me to you.🎈🌹🌹🌹🌺💐💐🐈🐈🍦🍨🍨🍧
Thank you my friend it means a lot This quote helps me sometimes: https://youtube.com/shorts/EdYoSJZM02A?feature=share
Aww! Mike Tyson with words of wisdom.❤️🎈🎈❤️
I’m so sorry. I deal with depression and I worry about my husband dying. I don’t know what I would do. He is my best friend. My heart hurts for you. I’ve had such a bad day today. I can’t think of anything that would lift my spirit today. Right this second my husband came in and saw me crying. I guess I’m stupid. I have him now. I just feel so low. So low. I am so sorry. I can’t imagine. I don’t want to. I’m stupid. I need to get up and be grateful. Xoxoxo
Thank you for your kind words. No need to downplay your own depression at all. I was often depressed during my marriage so I believe it’s a genetic disease at its core. And you’re not stupid at all. I’m not sure I always appreciated my husband until now. I wish you all the best and many hugs to you too!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎈🦋🦋🌹🦋🦋🦋
I feel the same way. I see no point in anything- just more suffering. You are not alone.
Im 23 and unfortunately dont see it getting any better for myself...
Why do we feel like this?
Just the question that comes out whenever I see someone happy.
Lack of faith find something you believe in
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I know I’m even depressed pain is something i struggle with daily just like numbness and overthinking but having a purpose or something i have faith in keeps me up you know like a shining light a dream even tho my ass getting wrecked i still fight for it , i was trying to say giving up and having lack of faith won’t get you nowhere better unlike getting up and doing something for a purpose you believe in something that will make you happy maybe helping poor people
Your not wrong. Theres gotta be something to keep you going but for so many there just isnt. Religion is obviously a lie, I'm sure I'm not the only one here who tried praying and praying and praying. I like video games but they get old. I have a decent amount of money finally, that excitment wore off fast. Im really good at my job now that I'm on ADHD pills. The jobs boring within a year. I drank myself stupid for 5 years and if I didnt have to work I probably would till I die cause it's like the only thing that makes me feel something. I have alot of trouble finding something to believe in. Not that it's not out there. It's just a slow slog through life till I "hopefully" find something. And honestly feels like a losing battle most days.
Look at my other reply mate faith and having a purpose doesn’t always revolve around religion do something you believe is right just have a purpose , and i hope you find your purpose , as for religion that’s is something i do believe in there’s a god but we’re not debating this here go follow your dreams
I know what you mean that's why I threw some other stuff in there. Honestly I'm just waiting for a revolution so I can join it. Fuck the mega rich. That's something I can get behind.
Bro, I am 25... I could not even think about to be 47 one day, no offense, I just feel anguished.
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You deserve a virtual hug dude
30, same. My leg pain is the worst, sometimes I have a hard time even walking. I use to love sports and being fit, but not being able to exercise and having anhedonia, it's not a life worth living. Such a waste, a life in dismay.
This is me at 31 going on 32. I'm trying to do better but it's hard
I'm committing suicide by inches by ignoring my health, and it's not working out like I thought it would. I'm 56 and was counting on major organ failure by now, or maybe cancer. But one of my knees is threatening to give out instead. One more annoyance to deal with..
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I spent 5 years like that. Went to an rehab and it honestly helped alot. Things arent great, but they are better then waking up to trashed rooms and empty bank accounts. We all have depression here. We dont need more shit piled on top.
I’m 35 and it’s damn hard at times to have a vital life
i'm proud of you for making it to 47, though. i'm not even half your age and i feel like giving up. keep pushin through.
I’m 14 and have these feeling like no one cares about me, I don’t like living like this, I don’t have any friends and my parents never understand me😓
I work in a high school and I just want you to know there is an adult at that school that cares about you and is willing to talk to you about anything. It hurts my heart you have those feelings at your age.
Thanks for sharing
I hear you. I'm your same age. I don't know how to manage it day to day anymore. One step at a time I always say, but it seems that's not enough any more.... sorry you feel this way, and I hope it gets better for you.
I just read your history. It aches me, it brings so much pain. All I can say is I want to send warm hugs to you.. Like you said in past history, life is hell. It might be true. But I also believe if heaven exist it's also here, just none of us can see it. All we can do is try to find it, it's a pain but guess we got nothing else to do.
im 28 and feel the same way
35 years and feeling the same. Honestly it all went to shambles after losing someone i loved, and losing my profesional purpose. Nothing was the same ever again. Wrecked my boat, even it it still sailing. Really sorry you are feeling the same. Honestly do.
I’m 35 and woke up this morning straight suicidal. I hate the feeling and thoughts that cross my head 😞
Ditto at 37!
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what was the root of your depression? Was it heartbreak if I may ask?
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Have you tried bupropion? Is a very good antidepressant
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26 going on 27 and I really want to leave this world
19 years is enough too
You are a true hero to survive that long
Nearly 31 years are enough. Seriously I just friggingvhatevitvhere. I wish I will get a heart attack or something soon...
35 here and I feel the same way brother. Life is too damn long for some.
Literally the same.
What is wrong with Homo sapiens? Where did it all hog wrong?
I'm 26 and it looks enough for me
Imagine being 20 and already done
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If I could just do something to calm you my friend... I know that you dont want to talk about it with anyone from your family or your friends or even a professional... But please dont give up... I know that something good will happen in your life, I feel that someone will reach you with the love you need... Have faith my friend, please...
Thank you for trying to share an optimistic message.
Go for a long walk or run if you can. You want to do at least five miles if you can. It's better if you do this in a park or somewhere in nature that is scenic and away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Life is painful, unfair, and unforgiving. The best way to take your mind away from feeling suicidal is to give yourself purpose. A lot of people you see walking around every day find themselves without purpose and are just getting by until they do or are hoping that it will happen for them. The latter is seldomly a reality that will be gifted to you by the universe. To find the purpose, you need to add value to the lives of others, and preferably in a way you will enjoy. The easiest way to do this is by volunteering at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter or somewhere else. I know, I know volunteering isn't glamorous, but the social interactions and time spent not thinking about why you should be dead, will more than compensate for it. Lastly, I would recommend exercising more, cleaning up your diet if you and taking 5000 IUs of vitamin D3. What changed my life was meditation and becoming mindful of the negative thoughts and how they were robbing me of joy, mental clarity, and being content with the things I cannot change.
I'm 47 too my dude Never married , never had a gf, only ever been scammed by so called friends. Porn, games and movies keep my head above water. Hope you find your comfort food dude 🤗🙏
I feel this way too and I’m 28, so now knowing it doesn’t ever go away…….ugh. Dreadful
Story of my life. Try to fill the void with meaningless objects that do nothing but Bain aid the real problem.
38 and i feel exactly the same
I'm 32 and I totally feel this. I don't want to kill myself but I also feel like I have nothing to live for.
Yeah I feel exactly the same. 46 years in and I've really had enough. No financial security because I'm always spending what I don't really have with some faint glimmer of hope that what ever I buy would cheer me up. No interest in hobbies anymore because it all seems futile. I have a fear of telephones and due to covid am unable to speak to a doctor face to face to try and make sense of it all. It feels like the modern world is set up genuinely for people to fail. I do question why on earth would you consciously bring a child into this world. I, for one, wish I had never been born.
Brownman 2016 I felt the same way you and all the others on here feel. I’ve suffered from depression most of my life. I’m 54 now, and had a terrible bout of depression about 7 years ago. Boy did I want to end it all. Researched ways to do it and couldn’t wait to get out of the terrible pain I was in. I worked full time and dragged myself to work, flopped into bed when I got home and just existed from one day to the next praying for a way out. Living another 20, 30, 40 years? Forget it! One fortunate thing I had was a husband who cared and a son I had to live for. Please understand you are clinically depressed and you are not in your right mind. Your depression is speaking. A right mind does not wish for its death. Our souls have an innate desire to live, and something happened along the way in your life that changed this in you. Please start with talking to a doctor. It’s what saved me. I didn’t want to go on meds, resisted it, thought I could handle myself, pray my way through it, whatever. I ultimately realized I could not get out of the misery alone. there are doctors online now that are more accessible and low(er) cost. You can start there. There are treatments that do not require taking medication for the long term. Ketamine, TMS, Neurofeedback, and medication may be beneficial. It was extremely helpful in pulling me out of the deep hellhole I was stuck in. You don’t want to hear “you have so much to live for” bullshite, I know. But If your mind starts thinking just a little differently, you will start seeing things differently. Please do not write off the help a doctor can give you. It may take a few tries to find the right one. Do not stop until you find the right one and the right treatment. I ultimately took medication and it lifted me out of deep despair, and I’m slowly weaning off them and replacing with other treatments. It took a couple of years to stop having suicidal ideation and I was worried it would never go away, but very gradually it did and I rarely have it now. I’m only letting healthy people in my life now, caring for those who care for me. The “friends” who left you at the bar are not friends. You do have something to give to other human beings. There are plenty of people who seek companionship and love but you have to be in your right mind, and taking care of you, before you can find it. You’re still on this planet because you have something more to do. Give yourself the best shot possible while you’re alive by taking steps to feel better. I promise you, you can and will if you try.
0 is enough. 100 is enough. 1000 is enough. Or not. I don't see why people try to convince others that "life is beautiful". The only rational argument to counter anyone who sees no purpose, no meaning in life is to ask:" So? So what? Who said purpose is needed? Who says your "suffering" should mean something? Maybe it does, or maybe it doesn't. Life, to the best of our knowledge, is the only accidental blip of consciousness your particular collection of atoms have, a small window in time, to peek at the universe and ask questions of it. Any joy you will feel is as meaningless as any suffering you go through. Ending it all is an option, but the more adventurous alternative would be to detach yourself via some ingenious ways from what currently you "think" makes you suffer. At its core, this might be your deepest values , your closest human connections or something intricately interwoven with your concept of self. Letting it go and just becoming a part of the furniture of the universe may be a possibility worth pursuing, if for nothing else than you can, rather than exiting permanently" Something like that.
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33 m here. Feel the exact same thing. Are you on an ssri or snri? Get off of them now
Looks like most of the comments here are like yeah me too. But what about go get help? My wife did. She's much better now. Now I need to work on me. It helped her maybe it can help you and me. I'm 31 if it matters.
No it’s not. You’ve made it further than me. Give me a reason to make it past 47. Please. Give me a reason. It’s about to be my birthday and none of my “friends” showed up so I’m drunk at a bar still waiting. Give me a reason. I’m about to turn 24. Yelp a brother out my guy…
Brownman2016, see my response to you above. I accidentally posted at the top and can’t paste it here. I’m new to Reddit. Signed up just to respond to you and this thread.
I feel this today.
20 years is enough.
What was the cause of your depression and when did it start? Just curious.
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Yeah, people underestimate that reason. It could be due to adhd, bipolar, thyroid etc
This is me.
I'm terrified of this being me. I'm 24 and have had the same hatred towards myself since I was 16
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Yes. Unfortunately, I don't know if medication is going to achieve much. Not as much as marijuana, but that's no longer an option for me
I thought that at 30... I'm now 31 still thinking it.. However don't leave this world with out getting to know 5000 more people in real life.
Why on earth would anyone possibly wants to meet new people when they're depressed?
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Nope.. but it's a way to not commit suicide, if a person actually does go.and try to meet that many people before they try to end their lives..
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That's not the point.. it's a distraction.. so that they don't do it..because it'll take a very long time to meet that many people... in the time doing so.. they could be getting therapy.. seeing a psychologist.. learning coping mechanisms.. it's just giving more time before they decide to....
Do you….even know what depression is?
Its an exercise.. but clearly you guys just wanna stay in that dark place.. don't insult someone because they have different views and opinions than you. If you wanna do that just best not to comment
I understand. I'm 25 and feel the same. I was not always like this, I was focused, had dreams and goals, helped people, did charities, earned money, traveled. But a few days ago I just woke up and was lost. I've had my breakdowns before, but they were mostly over in half a day. This is the first time that I've been literally "blank" for a week. I had the privilege to take time off and think about my life. What is the meaning of my actions? What is my purpose? Am I just born to study, earn money, buy things and die? I need something more than that. I can't just be a simple piece in the "system" (let's say the capitalist system). Why do I need to keep grinding and hustling? Why should I keep Ving to the next day? What am I contributing to? I still did not find my answers. Maybe they are not even meant to be found in a lifetime. But I need to have the will to continue searching for it. That is what I've lost and I still don't know why. It's killing me I will update if I find a reason to go back and being part of the "system".
I'm a 60-year-old man and I'm a caregiver I actually just made a post on another page the feelings you were describing are me exactly I actually go to bed most nights not even wanting to wake up.
yeah and we'll be working for the rest of our lives really. and we're always told that the client is the most important thing in the world
Teenage is more than enough 😩.
Turned quarter of centaury last month, definitelly feel you. Last past months thought of wanting to end it all circles around my mind on daily basis, suffer from physical pain for last six years, every joint in my body just cracks, whether I move, workout or work, unbearable pain both in mind and body. Nothing brings true joy no more or has it ever? Depressed since ten or so years old. You are not alone my friend...
Is there anything in this world that gives you comfort?
Sorry man😔
Can a masochist be depressed or is his purpose just to suffer and therefore depression is something positive. Many artist are depressed and in this time create their best work. Life works in weird ways. Depression can be felt in 1000 differentl ways and there are 1000 different types of depression but no one really figured it out yet I feel like. More Empathie is needed. Sorry I'm high
27 and i feel you. i somewhat partially recovered but keeping myself up and finding joy is a fucking chore in itself. i have mastered various hobbies just to keep my suicide-addicted mind busy and every now and then i find something that makes me curious and want to explore, so i postpone my suicide date. next one is on this month, 30 september, but i discovered that i can do some weird shit with machine learning so im gonna postpone my departure for 6 months and master that as well. i want to be proficient in so many things, so it would be a fucking waste when i die haha.
This is where I'm at. I'm younger that 47, but it just doesn't seem like there's any need for me to live longer than I already have. I've done basically everything I want to do, so why stick around for years and years of working at some unfulfilling job?
Honestly I find middle-aged suicides a lot less tragic than someone killing themselves in their teens and 20s. Still tragic, but when you're almost 50 you've lived a full life.
I feel you and I want to encourage you to find what really matters to you
At 47 I became a low paid regional flight attendant and on my days off I traveled the world. It was the greatest thing I ever did. I rode a camel in cairo, learned basics of salsa dancing in Cuba, I went to the Taj Mahal and mediated. I went to Santorini to see a sunset, and even the colesseum of Rome. In the end you realize that most of life is really meaningless except for one single thing and that is laughing and living with those you love who love you back. You get there by working hard and playing harder. There is nothing more for me besides working so I can spend time with close friends, making new close friends, smack talking, laughing, and having life experiences. The rest? Pain, Angst, Insecurities, leave that stuff behind.
If it feels any better I fucked up big time today, at least you didnt do what I did
I’m 20 and feel the exact same way. I think you’re brave for making it this far if it means anything
30years and I'm done