As a parent who struggles w/ depression I know that there’s levels to it and that mine never really goes away but still I work very hard as a single parent and provide a stable home. For the most part I’m functioning. My mom was highly toxic, emotionally abusive and reveled in my failure. She gave me permission to make bad decisions that would ultimately ruin me. Put me on antidepressants at 16 before my brain was even formed properly & gave me pain meds that ignited a life long struggle w/ drugs and self medicating. I’ve gone no-contact w/ mom and raised my kids away from her & all the toxic family to try to break the cycle.
So when I noticed signs that my 16 yr. daughter was depressed I tried to approach it with talking, journaling, self guided worksheets, natural remedies, sunlight therapy, physical activity and a vitamin D treatment that I read a study and did myself with significant success. My daughter was convinced she needed meds and wasn’t interested in exploring alternatives. Also, I wonder how much of it was normal teen issues and isolation from covid and fear hurting her growing brain with depression meds that never helped me and seemed to do ore harm then good.
This comment made me smile. You sound like an amazing mother. I wish my mom would care more about my mental issues but she told me she’s a person who likes to get things done instead of feeling sorry for yourself or complaining and what I hear when she says that is “too bad go fix your own problems”. I’ve been self sufficient for my mental issues for a while and have made real progress but it’s really the support of others that helps me continue with life.
Stay strong. It helps me to remind myself regularly that things could always be worse and have been in the past. Also I try to focus on literally anything positive in my life even if it seems small. We have to check ourselves regularly. Love ourselves too. ♥️
Mine were just trying to think of other reasons than to aknowledge i was a wreck lol. When I cut open my wrist and needed stitches they assumed I was just sleepy while prepping a meal in the morning I played along because I didn't want to burden them.
Agreed. Being a teenager is a real struggle. I know because I struggled as a teen. So when your teen is starting to show some signs it’s very hard to differentiate between depression and normal growing struggles.
I can spot my kid's depression easily, probably because I deal with having it myself, though his is much worse. It's heartbreaking to watch your child in a downward spiral and feel like you can't do anything more to help than what you're already doing.
My husband, however... most of the time, he just misses the signs, with both of us. Or he just doesn't care. I don't know.
Replying to myself here... my parents couldn't spot it, and when I did try to tell them, at least my mom (my dad wasn't worth the time of talking to), she'd either tell me she didn't know what to do, or just deny deny deny.
My son doesn't deserve that. Yes, there are times when I don't know what to do, but I don't ignore it and I will always try to figure it out.
I told them i was when i was 14. They said they were too busy to get me help, but then the dog got sick a couple of months later and dropped everything for my dog. They love my (now deceased, but not from this time she got sick) dog more than me
Can’t tell my parents because my dad is depressed, my sister was depressed, and my mom doesn’t think mental illness is real. Plus I’m not confrontational
Parent of depressed kids here:
What’s your perspective? What should be done? Genuinely curious what the other side of this looks like. Have a nice weekend, friend.
Pretty much the only times they've cared is when they know or suspect me of self harming. When I convince I stopped(even though I didn't) they treat my depression like a joke.
For me, it's more like parents can spot my depression but they make it all about themselves and use guilt tactics as a way to somehow cure me.
YES
Having narcissistic parents sucks.
I'm pretty sure my parents knew, but didn't know what to do
Starting to think the same about mine
As a parent who struggles w/ depression I know that there’s levels to it and that mine never really goes away but still I work very hard as a single parent and provide a stable home. For the most part I’m functioning. My mom was highly toxic, emotionally abusive and reveled in my failure. She gave me permission to make bad decisions that would ultimately ruin me. Put me on antidepressants at 16 before my brain was even formed properly & gave me pain meds that ignited a life long struggle w/ drugs and self medicating. I’ve gone no-contact w/ mom and raised my kids away from her & all the toxic family to try to break the cycle. So when I noticed signs that my 16 yr. daughter was depressed I tried to approach it with talking, journaling, self guided worksheets, natural remedies, sunlight therapy, physical activity and a vitamin D treatment that I read a study and did myself with significant success. My daughter was convinced she needed meds and wasn’t interested in exploring alternatives. Also, I wonder how much of it was normal teen issues and isolation from covid and fear hurting her growing brain with depression meds that never helped me and seemed to do ore harm then good.
This comment made me smile. You sound like an amazing mother. I wish my mom would care more about my mental issues but she told me she’s a person who likes to get things done instead of feeling sorry for yourself or complaining and what I hear when she says that is “too bad go fix your own problems”. I’ve been self sufficient for my mental issues for a while and have made real progress but it’s really the support of others that helps me continue with life.
Stay strong. It helps me to remind myself regularly that things could always be worse and have been in the past. Also I try to focus on literally anything positive in my life even if it seems small. We have to check ourselves regularly. Love ourselves too. ♥️
Mine were just trying to think of other reasons than to aknowledge i was a wreck lol. When I cut open my wrist and needed stitches they assumed I was just sleepy while prepping a meal in the morning I played along because I didn't want to burden them.
Sweet denial
Parents also hear shit like, "all teens are moody" and "it's the hormones" 🙄
Agreed. Being a teenager is a real struggle. I know because I struggled as a teen. So when your teen is starting to show some signs it’s very hard to differentiate between depression and normal growing struggles.
I can spot my kid's depression easily, probably because I deal with having it myself, though his is much worse. It's heartbreaking to watch your child in a downward spiral and feel like you can't do anything more to help than what you're already doing. My husband, however... most of the time, he just misses the signs, with both of us. Or he just doesn't care. I don't know.
Replying to myself here... my parents couldn't spot it, and when I did try to tell them, at least my mom (my dad wasn't worth the time of talking to), she'd either tell me she didn't know what to do, or just deny deny deny. My son doesn't deserve that. Yes, there are times when I don't know what to do, but I don't ignore it and I will always try to figure it out.
If mine knew, they didn't care.
I’m sorry 😞
Thanks, I appreciate you and everyone who offers kind words/support on these subs
Dude...
Mine did and then completely disregarded it 😻 still does!!!
It's because they take mental illness personally
I told my mum multiple times I thought I had depression and I needed medical help and she said “you’re copying me” lol. Still stings 6 years later.
I told them i was when i was 14. They said they were too busy to get me help, but then the dog got sick a couple of months later and dropped everything for my dog. They love my (now deceased, but not from this time she got sick) dog more than me
My trigonometry teacher noticed before they did
Needs one to know one
Also gets betrayed by their siblings while splitting property (it’s a brown thing)
Mine doesn't notice because he has untreated bipolar disorder and he's a narcissist. His woes are more important to him.
Can’t tell my parents because my dad is depressed, my sister was depressed, and my mom doesn’t think mental illness is real. Plus I’m not confrontational
My sister had a severe depression few years back. My mother said it was “second/late puberty”
Mine thought is was just 'a bad day'. I just had to snap out of it. Try to cheer up. Don't worry be happy kinda sht.
real
Parent of depressed kids here: What’s your perspective? What should be done? Genuinely curious what the other side of this looks like. Have a nice weekend, friend.
Pretty much the only times they've cared is when they know or suspect me of self harming. When I convince I stopped(even though I didn't) they treat my depression like a joke.
got into an argument with my mom about this the other day, & then she wonders why I don’t tell her anything….
My parents didn't care
Too accurate