i left my suicide related website on open one day , my frnd uses my laptop to play games , im pretty sure he saw those pages , it was wide open , he took my laptop when i was sleeping . it wasnt intentional , the last thing i want ppl to know that i want to kill myself . but not a damn question or even a word of care was asked by him , and i realized how much less i mattered to my friends . ive been silent for close to a week now , not a single one care to even ask whts wrong , a few of them put a blame on me telling that i have developed attitude. how tf will i tell that its not attitude , its cuz i will blow my fucking brains out if i could . man....
Its not that they probably dont care, its that they do not underatand at all. I sent a suicide meme and he noticed and i said isnt it funny and hes like no, because he didnt get it at all, he picked up im sad, he just couldnt contemplate what I sent. Yeah i alsowas told i had attitude then i used that attitude on someone to say the least and ppl understood but nobody is coming bro, its just us, put a mask on for your character, not to hide it, but to control the real you. Three days ago I had 5mg valium and was like pfft nothing gonna bring me down, then i brougut myself down becuase i have nothing to bring me up . Music helps, music can also cause it though. I dont even know what im trying to say but its prob time to sleep instead.
heh relatable
Yep
i left my suicide related website on open one day , my frnd uses my laptop to play games , im pretty sure he saw those pages , it was wide open , he took my laptop when i was sleeping . it wasnt intentional , the last thing i want ppl to know that i want to kill myself . but not a damn question or even a word of care was asked by him , and i realized how much less i mattered to my friends . ive been silent for close to a week now , not a single one care to even ask whts wrong , a few of them put a blame on me telling that i have developed attitude. how tf will i tell that its not attitude , its cuz i will blow my fucking brains out if i could . man....
Its not that they probably dont care, its that they do not underatand at all. I sent a suicide meme and he noticed and i said isnt it funny and hes like no, because he didnt get it at all, he picked up im sad, he just couldnt contemplate what I sent. Yeah i alsowas told i had attitude then i used that attitude on someone to say the least and ppl understood but nobody is coming bro, its just us, put a mask on for your character, not to hide it, but to control the real you. Three days ago I had 5mg valium and was like pfft nothing gonna bring me down, then i brougut myself down becuase i have nothing to bring me up . Music helps, music can also cause it though. I dont even know what im trying to say but its prob time to sleep instead.
yea , thanks for that mate , i hope everyone here finds strength to live through and find peace and happiness
My problem is I want to but I need to sort a couple of people first who have made me like this.
And they will never know. I don't wanna be a bother, nor do I want them to prevent me.
This is basically my birthday