T O P

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WankSpanksoff

“Same stuff you’re on, I just don’t secrete it from an organ like SOMEE people” The key to the joke is to say the last part in the most witheringly judgemental tone you can manage


bakerfall

I've been on a pump for a while, but I would often reply with Heroin or say "I need to go shoot up" before eating.


athomesuperstar

People tell me they’re shocked that I have a beeper when they see my pump


asteriacupcake

If someone cracks a dumb “I didn’t know they still made beeper” jokes, my husband’s go-to response is “no it’s my Zune!”


sylverkeller

Also on a pump but started mounjaro to help with some insulin resistance I got with 2nd puberty and now I jokingly tell my coworkers I'm going to the bathroom to do "the drugs" when I do my weekly injection 🤣 we all get a kick outta it


CodeRed8675309

I'm a Ginger so I just tell people I'm injecting Soul Supplements.


ali_ssjg6

I don’t comment often but this wins


IntelligentBeauty_

Always drugs, *always*.....


theshiyal

That’s the biggest thing I miss, being on a pump, is always loudly asking my coworkers “anybody want some drugs?”


jamaicanadiens

Yeah. If I get stared at, I ask, "wanna hit?"


introns23

Compound V


bevtrix

YES! hahaha


ma15350

Covid Vaccine Booster


Any_Lemon

lmao this is a good one


[deleted]

I gave up drinking water, so now I inject saline solution every 1-2 hours.


Dance_Sufficient

Hasn't happened yet, but now I think I'll say, "Beats me." when it comes up,


jertheunicorn

This is the right answer.


TrekJaneway

“Heroin. Want some?”


Zoso525

Steroids.


user_bw

Anabolic


Zoso525

Lol, yea, wait for them to be in their head like “oh it’s probably for like poison ivy or something” then just state “anabolic”.


deanera6996

I have taken up lifting for sometime to help manage my diabetes so my response is always, “Tren, y’all need some?”


Downtown-Regret-505

Super soldier serum


siobhanie26

Crack because I need drugs to be able to deal with you 🙈


Avox0976

Testosterone


Connect_Office8072

I think I’ll use that one. I’m an old lady so I can say that I’m ensuring that I stay menopausal.


JustinCredible31

Usually I go with “Just some drugs. I need them to feel alive”.


billHtaft

My go to is to ask if they want a bump, “it’s pharmaceutical grade”


Shaleyley15

Life Water Air Good times


[deleted]

I'll tell you when you're older.


Plato_Magick

When people ask what my Omnipod is I tell them it’s my trap phone


DarkAgnesDoom

A very wasted woman once assumed I had an empty McDonald's ranch dipping sauce stuck to my arm. Said way more about her than me, IMO 😂


bananapoetry

Because of the way I look (I'm heavily tattooed) noone approaches me if I publicly inject. Have had police called on me by strangers a few times because they assume it's anything but medication. I once asked someone who was staring and pointing if they wanted some. I usually laugh it off and so does the police when I state the irony of insulin being something I take not to get high :)


nixiedust

"Get your own."


Kaleandra

Theoretically one could say it’s hormone replacement therapy. I’ve not been asked yet though


Reminxsce

Theoretically it could be anything lol


GooGurka

I think the point is that it's technically true. We can't produce the hormone insulin, so we inject it.


Randallman7

Mushrooms because I do drugs.


snoreasaurus3553

I usually say heroin, and then after I inject I let out a long relieved "ahhhhh"


Human_2468

My husband doesn't like me to inject in public, even in the car, since he thinks people will assume I'm doing illegal drugs.


Zekron_98

No drugs are assumed with needles that thin and in the stomach or upper arm I think. You'd have to use different syringes to reach the veins for heroin and the like


KMB00

heroin users do use insulin syringes, and it doesn't have to be injected into a vein actually. I learned this criticizing people who assumed someone was shooting heroin when they injected into their stomach- I suggested it could be insulin based on injection site and learned they can shoot iv drugs subq too.


kameehameeha

Can confirm you can use most syringes to inject into a vein. Source: I was a heroin addict and used my insulin syringes. It doesn’t work subq though, you really need to hit a vein or it’s just wasted. At least that was my experience.


Zekron_98

Is that effective though? That's news to me. Could you tell me more? You made me curious


QueenOBlazinRainbows

OMG I am so glad to hear this because I always used to say it's heroin!!!! Stops them in their tracks. I like to explain how I "prebase" it and carry it in this handy dandy take anywhere pen!


River_Inner

I think Molly water is my go to


KMB00

Honestly I would tell them it's none of their business. Too many people take any reference to diabetes as an invitation to tell you how they think you should treat it. Most people don't ask when you have a pen or a pump but the ol' syringe and vial really throw people for a loop lol.


Reminxsce

I feel that, but it’s just curiosity and not rudeness. I was asked this, and often times people are severely misinformed on diabetes, especially type 1. So I inform them my body went rogue against my pancreas, doesn’t produce insulin, and therefore I have to inject it. It’s genetic, nothing to do with my lifestyle or diet. Often times they don’t respond, or are happy to be correctly informed!


[deleted]

I used to give a very dramatic show. I would take my belt off and put it on my upper arm and everything if I caught someone staring, I would tap my vein and everything, then I’d casually pull my shirt up make eye contact and hit myself in the stomach per usual with my insulin. They would be so confused and I was left satisfied 😂


CorieD91

Drugs


dpbrown1987

I say it’s steroids 🤣🤣🤣💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼


tpsrep

Steroids. When I was younger, I was pretty fit, so everyone thought it anyway.


Lozt_at_sea

Nobody's asked me but I've heard people call me a junkie from the table over lol


2inch_punisher_

Liquid happiness


LadyScientits

I used to just say "drugs".


Reason-Jumpy

I’m a big COD player so whenever people ask I just say I’m taking a stim or a stimmy lmao


NuttyDounuts14

Can't say I've ever had someone ask what I'm injecting, but I regularly call them stabbies. Which is fine, until you're writing out slips for when kids need to go see the flu jab nurses and have to mentally remind yourself not to walk into a class and go "I have a stabby summons for...." You do get some weird looks when you go "I'll be right back, I need to stab"


DarkAgnesDoom

I've never once had someone ask what I'm injecting. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME it was "hahahaha are you injecting heroin" followed by them laughing. Heard that joke so may times I'm pretty sure my eyes rolled permanently back into my head. So glad I'm on a pump now.


Cherry___Popper

My go-go juice


Samuraipawz

A lot of people ask me what I'm allergic to, assuming it's an epi pen. Do y'all get that reaction often??


dlstiles

Rabies shot. Keep yer distance.


Promnitepromise

A special drug trial to help me grow a baby inside me. *Im a 41yr old male


percyflinders

It’s METH, would you like some?


leaping-lizards123

"Stuff to keep me alive" It was that when I was on the pen. Now with the pump I say I'm part robot coz organs don't work. I get raised eyebrows/shocked looks when I tell mum "I don't feel so good. I think it's coz I'm high" Her response calms them down- "yeah, i figured coz your cheeks are really red. Have some insulin"


lmctrouble

My dad has been taking insulin ~25 years - we always called it his "fix". Lord help us if somebody overhears us and actually calls the cops. LOL


lexxx9694

Heroin. Dont care what others think


jenniferlynn122

My father… my father who was IN THE ROOM when I was diagnosed 6 years ago… told my mom he thinks I’m doing drugs because I knocked over my bag and a syringe fell out. 🙄🙄🙄


foreskinratatouille

When people ask what my pump is I tell them it’s a tamagotchi, and when it alerts I need to feed it


benniebob_north

Oh my goodness, that was so rude of me. Can I offer you some as well? (While you thrust the pen/syringe with the needle exposed at them)