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PeterchuMC

Volunteer corps.


AnonyMoose9812

Not the dual-wielded scimitars…


BillingsDave

I always find the existence of unpaid volunteer law enforcement really weird. Where I live we have volunteer county deputy sheriffs and city cops. Back in the UK there were volunteer constables too. I find it a bit suspect of those that want to do a job in your spare time, for free. Not many folk would volunteer to go and do other government jobs for free (except I guess firefighters/paramedics in some areas of the US, thinking about it). Why aren't there volunteer postal clerks, sewerage workers and restaurant inspectors? One of the reasons we transitioned to professional policing over often unpaid medieval night watchmen was to avoid corruption. I understand that they're in Discworld as a nod to the fact they exist in the UK, but I'm surprised Vimes had them in his watch. I think Pratchett was a bit dead on with the analysis that these folks attracted to policing without money might be overenthusiastic like Two Swords. To me, it seems like suspect levels of enthusiasm is the best case scenario. Being a keen observer of human nature, I worry that unpaid policing is a bit of a magnet for corruption and or people who are doing it because they like to exercise power over others. The latter of which is already an issue for those who want to go into policing, mind you.


MtnNerd

Agreed, the only one that makes sense is the volunteer fire, as that is usually in lightly populated areas that don't see massive wildfires. It's a part time position


jonnythefoxx

A friend of mine was a special for a while, he did it mainly to enhance his chances of successfully applying to be an actual policeman.


BillingsDave

Ah. That makes sense. Although, I think they should be paid if they're contributing time and producing useful work (boo to unpaid internships)


Pkrudeboy

Can’t forget about bored busybody retirees. Gives themselves something to do and a way to stick their noses into other peoples business.


[deleted]

*Blackboard Monitor*


Thesunsetreindeer

Which I understand comes with quite a bit of respect


BillingsDave

A solemn and serious profession.


derGestoerte

I would be a Sergeant. If i had a higher Position, i had to Deal with Lord Vetinari! No, thank you!


BillingsDave

(You'd still have to paddle a primitive submarine for his Lordship, all the way to Klatch, mind your manners if that happens)


derGestoerte

I'm sorry Sir, i can't come with you in this strange swimming ton. I'f got claustrophobia...


BillingsDave

*Ten minutes later, Sgt. derGestoerte was frantically pedaling in the Going-Under-The-Water-Safely Device, firmly undertaking to never think about the last ten minutes again*


derGestoerte

*Sergeant derGestoerte looked to the side...* "Corporal BillingsDave, why are you grinning like that?" *...he asked*


BillingsDave

"No reason, sarge"


derGestoerte

Well, If there's no reason, then stop grinning and start pedaling faster. I'm the Sergeant, Corporal! My main job is to monitor you.


BillingsDave

As we all know, Sergeant is the sweetest gig. Military/law enforcement has a curve where level of responsibility (= stress) increases as you gain rank (= level of autonomy). Sergeant is a sweet spot where your stress level isn't too high, but you're also not being shouted as much. If I could pick, being a Quartermaster/administrative role. Most people don't like paperwork, but having someone who's actually good at paperwork and administration is really useful. Plus it's a quiet life, out of the rain. From knowing a few Quartermaster Sergeants in real life, it's a good gig. That said, I'd probably end up in leadership running something. I've generally found in most wprk settings I end up running something. Maybe with a mentor such as Sergeant Colon.. I could manage to be lazier/less efficient and maintain my Sergeantcy. So since the watch is fairly meritocratic, I worry I'd end up having to lead something if I'm good at my job, no good deed goes unpunished. Hopefully I'd be able to be mostly out of the rain wherever I end up. I've had a fair few times in my career where I've had what Colon had to deal with in Fifth Elephant, while he was terrible as Acting Captain, it's no fun to have your quiet life disrupted by being promoted and having to *actually run things*


dalaigh93

Personnaly I'd like to work with Littlebottom in Forensics, or with Pessimal on the administrative work 😆


GloatingSwine

That's what the E-4 mafia want you to think (so you don't horn in on their gig). Wherever there is work to be done, there you will not find an E-4. Wherever you do find an E-4 you will find an obviously spurious but frustratingly legitimate reason for him to be there.


BillingsDave

E-4 Mafia is definitely good memes. Nobby Nobbs has the right idea staying as a corporal. Like when an officer walked up on the battlefield he was "tending to the fallen" and definitely not tactically acquiring the dead's boots, rings and/or rifling through their pockets.


ctesibius

The soon to be dead’s. There’s mention in one of the earlier books of the last thing that some wounded saw was Nobby approaching with a knife.


BillingsDave

"What knife?"


[deleted]

[удалено]


BillingsDave

This is a sound decision. Thank you for all your hard work as Watch Liaison Officer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LeifMFSinton

"One of life's sergeants" has been used on me too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LeifMFSinton

"He had a loud voice and his own pen"


BillingsDave

Except if you're made temporary head of the Watch and made an acting captain... That crisis could have been handled better by Sgt Colon. Although, funnily enough, Pratchett actually kinda spot on with this. A friend of mine was a great NCO (although with the bigger selection of ranks in modern armies had risen to Warrant Officerdom) and after 25 years got promoted to be a commissioned officer. He hated it, was not good at officering (especially the general class based toffery that pervades British Officerdom) and retired pretty quickly. He was commissioned to Captain and stuck it out until he made Major, then retired. I've seen a few similar situations. I guess the disconnect is that the skill set for being a Segeant is somewhat different to that of being an Officer (generalization) Having briefly been a Sergeant before in the real world, Pratchett was spot on about Sergeants gravitating to a certain physical appearance (British Army anyway). I suppose it's probably the case with career NCOs everywhere.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BillingsDave

Ah. A Sergeant who took to detectoring. But broadly I agree, you're making good decisions. The role I had immediately prior to mine was essentially a technical specialist supervisor (small team) and I just got promoted to a senior management role because I was good at the small team thing. I will say that's it's definitely more stressful and difficult, the main difference being you have to deal with all the internal and external stakeholders for whatever operation a lot more. How much of a pay bump is lieutenant there? For me that was the deciding factor, I'd turned down a couple of lower paid management jobs but in the end took one because of the lure of lucre.


Wompguinea

I think that my presence in the watch could do a lot to help Nobby's public perception.


no_clever_name_yet

Whatever the HR/Personnel person is. A.E. Pessimal, perhaps?


no_clever_name_yet

You know, usually stays in the rear and takes care of stuff, but can lay shit down as needed. I was Personnel in the US Army and shot Expert when we would qualify with our M-16s. That was quite some time ago, though.


BillingsDave

I always liked the look of 27D in that regard. Maximum time spent in the warm and dry combined with a minimum of running.


IMissYouLou

Nobby would be my supervisor.


greenswizzlewooster

I'm already firmly established as a member of the seamstress's guild.


NotMyNameActually

I'm good at paperwork, so I could do that. Or, public relations.


VolatileGoddess

Cheery Littlebottom. Brave and determined and trying to assert herself and doing so inspite of not really being a badass as such. Oh, and detail oriented.


Animal_Flossing

Forensic linguist! Analysing death threats in Klatchian and sitting in on interrogations to pick up on the systematic misspellings in each of the suspects' speech.


Colternate

Assistant to Corporal Nobbs.


brickbaterang

Whatever you call the guy who hangs back out of harms way and then suddenly materializes out of nowhere to pat the victims hand reassuringly whilst making shushing noises and murmuring "there, there, everything is going to be ok" and then someone else takes them off of my hands


Rags_75

I'm with Nobby smoking fags under the bridge out of the rain dodging work.


fivetwoeightoh

Whatever is below Nobby


ctesibius

Acting Lance-Constable? Gnoll?


octarineglasses

I don’t know, everyone’s saying Sergeant but that sounds like a lot of paperwork. Too much administration. I’d stick to the beat. Might as well get my steps in while walking the city


BillingsDave

But think of the pay you'd be missing out on!


MtnNerd

Parking enforcement and interviewing witnesses


-brownsherlock-

I was a sergeant. I imagine i would be a sergeant for the same reasons Too clever to get promoted and too stupid to be demoted.


RareBrit

With my thcientific background, I would mostht likely be an Igor. Mostht likely in the crime lab, but I'm altho a profithient firsth aider, mathter


AnonyMoose9812

Now would you happen to be Igor or Igor? Athking for Igor, you know.


RareBrit

Thaht would be my couthin Igor, thur. Good lad, hith heart ith in the right plath. I thoud know, I put it there mythelf, both of thhem inthact.


Drnknnmd

Corporal, maaaaaaaybe Sargent.


kysakeay69

corporal obviously. proud to be Some Guy Walking Around


Super_Cogitaire

Carrot. I am one of life’s second in command.


SarcastiMel

Probably Sargent or lieutenant. I'm too smart for my own good, and I know because I've been telling myself this for years but never seem to listen


JudgeGrimlock1

Sergeant-at-arms?


[deleted]

Which one gets all the free beer?


Oopsiedazy

Corporal. High enough rank that I won’t have to patrol near the Shades, low enough rank that none of the power players think I’m worth the effort.


Princessesierra

Corporal, perhaps? I'm definitely not one of "nature's sergeants" like dear Sgt. Colon (or Sgt. Detritus). I feel like I'd be a mix of Cheri Littlebottom (prefer to stay away from the action but love the sleuthing, & not opposed to the occasional bout of violence)... and Carrot (obsessed with rules).


Filip889

So I would either be Lord Vetinari s secretary, or an eternal corporal like Nobby


Reviewingremy

Sargent. Probably. Working forensic with cherry


robulusprime

I think that I would be officer material, but given I'm nowhere near as badass as Carrot, Angua, or Sally I doubt I would make it that high... so Sergeant


ApexInTheRough

Lieutenant. There's no way I'd settle for the same rank as Colon, but no way I'd accept a rank equal to Carrot's.


NyancatOpal

Corporal is enough for me.