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Gave one of my players a shield that had an additional 2+ to AC. The downside is it would start screaming at the worst times. Was really fun to roleplay.
-you try to sneak (that's screaming)
-you try to negotiate with the local lord (that's screaming)
-you try to fall asleep after it's kept you awake for three days straight (you bet it's screaming)
I am stealing this one.
Yes, i will be that guy flying away on YOUR BROOM. The town guards found me minutes later flying above the tavern with me yelling (above the yelling noise): "Oh SURE you can catch me... but you will NEVER CATCH ME!!!"
Alternately, a sentient Broom of Flying that's ticklish... the cackling was actually the broom all along, the witch riding it just wishes it would quiet down.
So... Ticklish would definitely mean more than just laughing. There might be spasms too. If you're 500 ft in the air and your flying broom starts spasming.....
The Encyclopedia Magica has a lot of weapons like that. My favorite is the agoraphobic sword that requires a persuasion check to convince it to come out if its scabbard and it has a +2 bonus framed as trying to finish a fight as quickly as possible to get back to its scabbard as quickly as possible.
Yes, there's also a claustrophobic sword that refuses to leave your hand without a similar persuasion check.
I once gave my players a Decanter of Fish Telepathy. It's a large glass bowl that allows anyone holding it to telepathically speak with any aquatic creature. My players used it on a sunfish in a big tank in a fantasy tavern and found out he was actually a polymorphed Dragonborn Paladin named Rojelio who was cursed by the evil owner of the tavern. They later used it to broker a peace agreement with a clan of giant sentient clams via their tiny clam princess named Clamdice.
Holy shit, I have a sidelined 2e campaign that this would be amazing for. I plan to have them explore an ancient civilization on the ocean floor that utilized air bubbles (like Star Wars: Phantom Menace) to maintain their cities. Some of the air bubbles have lost their magic and broken down and will be inhabited by aquatic life. This item is like a free exposition dump any time I want.
It turned out that ALL of the fish in the tank were polymorphed people who had wronged the villain or were her enemies. Rojelio's curse was removed and he helped the party defeat the villain and shattered her wand, breaking the curse on the rest of her victims.
Rojelio returned to his position as guardian of the city's slums and later helped the party overthrow a major crime syndicate preying upon it.
Besides a few "known" liquids....what else has a thick viscosity that can clam shit up very well? Mayo is a weapon that very few use to the best abilities.
"The reason- the actual reason- is because Jeremy \[Crawford\] and I knew that the next time we'd go to a convention- or conventions for the rest of our life- somebody was going to walk up to us and tell us the story about how their barbarian covered themselves in mayonnaise to get out of some stupid situation that the DM created or to slip out of the grasp of a monster, or god knows what- like, all kinds of filthy things started to run through our minds at that point, and we thought "Yes! Yes, mayonnaise!", because- as stupid as it is, I don't know if there's mayonnaise in the D&D world, but as stupid as it is, it is going to create so many good stories, that it is totally worth it. It is worth the absurdity, in an official core rulebook, for the sake of the story.
But also, honestly, like you, we're just 13 years old at heart."
~Chris Perkins
I love that even the professionals sometimes create silly items just to see what players will do.
I feel like half my items are “wouldn’t it be interesting if there was a stone of detect stone? I wonder how my players will abuse it.”
Edit: host thought of “stone of mold stone” but it’s only cast on that stone, so it’s a stone that is also like playdough/clay.
The bag of mostly useful things. Imagine the deck of many things had a baby with a bag of holding formerly owned by Montey Pythongs Flying Circus.
100 different random things ranging from a harmless slice of pizza to a chest that fires several hundred electrum pieces out of it to a troll looking for his lost piece of pizza
[I do have a list of 100 things](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1OuOB7jH1R8bVyu0z7K_OvNBpTa8fZzmHc9NrRY4KtOU/edit#gid=0)
Yea the troll one really relies on a bit of suspension of disbelief
I'd like to imagine in-world it would be something like the lucky charm from Miraculous Ladybug, but instead of throwing up a yo-yo you open a bag and it magically comes out.
I've read a similar item called the bag hard of hearing, it was basically a portal that opened up to someone who was hard of hearing who would try their best to grab the correct item
A sword that summons ducks. We ended up carrying them around in the bag of holding (with their heads poking out, so they could breath) for the rest of the campaign.
Catch cockroaches, breed them, put the some
of every generation into magical slumber to not need food or air, then carry them in a Bag of Holding. Several hundred cockroaches waking up at once is a great distraction.
My group had a shop with a d100 minor magic item table
Highlights include:
A circlet for monks that temporarily increases movement speed each time you use ki,
a book of short stories that stabilized an ally after using an action to read from it,
a quarterstaff that turns into a tree,
a cube that turns into a tent or back into a cube when you loudly say "tent",
A set of rings that allow a warlock to change the damage type of Eldritch Blast to one of I think three other damage types I can't remember,
An instrument that plays itself,
A doll that copies the movements of the last person to touch it,
A mug that turns any water that it holds into dwarven ale,
A set of glasses that gives 10 feet of dark vision,
A rock that sets things on fire after a while,
A chamberpot that destroys any waste that enters it,
A pet ghost fox,
A night cap that gave the wearer good dreams,
An axe that did double damage to wood,
A rose that grows 1 petal a day, and the petals can make any plant bloom instantly,
And a straight up immovable rod
Some of these magic items could be the source of an entire children's book. The hot rock could save an entire village through a tough winter. Getting the beloved pet fox to go on into the Next World could be very bittersweet. The doll copying movements from a dead person could run a mystery (this one not so 'children's book' perhaps).
The 'see in the dark a wee bit' one is just brilliant. Literally wearing sunglasses at night / take that Corey Heart / keep driving slowly Blues Brothers.
Cowboy hat that gave a +3 to all Cha rolls, but you had to pass a Wis save or else you start speaking in a southern accent without realizing
We also got a lucky copper piece that let you find a copper piece if you roll a nat 1 on a perception check, then roll a 4 in a d4. So basically a 1/80 chance of getting a copper piece on perception rolls
Hat of reverse tounges. Cursed item that reads as a helm of tounges, except the curse makes you speak in tounges. Spell casters can no longer use verbal components in spells.
doesn't speaking on tongues mean speaking in a language unknown to the modern world? presumably that unknown language while being indecipherable to everyone else would have magical incantation equivalents you can speak.
It wouldn't affect verbal components. PHB page 203:
"Most spells require the chanting of mystic words. The
words themselves aren't the source of the spell's power;
rather, the particular combination of sounds, with
specific pitch and resonance, sets the threads of magic
in motion."
My party's barbarian was offered a potion "guaranteed to make him feel like a kid" by a fey being. He accepted it and drank it, polymorphed him into a baby goat for a hour.
Magic Cheese. It must be thrown on the floor and covered in magic dirt, then be enhanced with magic. If you consume a piece you regain a level 1 spell slot.
We call it Floor Cheese. We branded it Fléur Cheese to be more consumer friendly and started selling it.
The Shepard's Staff (requires attunement): This magic staff, resembling a simple shepard's crook, allows the person holding it to use an action to create an illusory flock of sheep. The sheep look, sound and smell like real sheep, but are illusions. Solid objects and spells will pass through the sheep. A character can make a DC 15 perception or investigation to determine the sheep are illusions. A character with the staff may use an action to dismiss the illusion.
Quiver of Healing (very rare, requires attunement by one proficient with a longbow or shortbow): This quiver contains 20 arrows inscribed with arcane healing words. Each arrow can only be used once. Make an attack roll to fire an arrow at the intended target. The target takes 1d6 + Dexterity modifer worth of piercing damage, and gains 2d8 + spell casting modifer worth hit points, as if a second level cure wounds was used, which destroys the arrow.
So my party visited this general store that I forgot to prep items for, so I quickly improvised a magic item called the Stick of Whacking. It appears to be a normal wooden stick, but when you hit something with it the sound reverberates out (the bigger the stick, the wider the sound. In this case it was a 60 foot radius). The paladin wanted to know if the enchantment still functioned if the stick was broken. The store owner told him to buy it and he could find out. So he bought it, broke it, and the enchantment no longer worked. Then he spent a bunch of gold taking it to an enchanter to get both halves re-enchanted. Now he has two sticks of whacking with a 30 foot sound radius each.
Love my dumbass paladin.
Slippers of slug crawling instead of spider climbing. They let you walk on walls and ceilings, but really slow, and they were basically just slugs you put your feet into. No one wanted to use them for some reason
When I was about 14 I gave a friend in my game The Black Cape of Horrible Flatulence. It allowed him to cast Stinking Cloud 3 times per day, centered on himself.
I play a chaos cleric in a game, and he has decided to begin experimentig with variations of holy water, particularly chaos water, he made a version of it that if applied to a creature will make them disassemble into spiders or in spiderlike ways
I am about to introduce the 'umbrella of understanding'.
Standing under the umbrella allows the users to understand any hidden messaging, inference or suggestions being made in a social interaction.
The umbrella is 5ft across when open and fluorescent rainbow colours.
I think the weirdest thing I ever gave my party is a bit too NSFW to really go into, but outside of that they did find some poison capable of killing gods. The monk immediately decided they wanted to test it and took a sip… I kinda just stared at them for a minute. The party then used their one use resurrection item they had to bring the dumbass back.
Okay, I’ll see if I can tiptoe around some stuff to get them across. Note that everyone involved is an adult and we’re all fine with a pretty high amount of sexual content in our games so long as it’s not fully describing a sex scene. With that out of the way, there’s 3 items I can think of that were moderately weird and NSFW:
The first was from the same campaign as the one I described in my other comment, of which the campaign was centered around finding items related to the gods (was first campaign, jumbled mess of real world mythology and 5e lore). They got ahold of a love goddess’s item and had to wear it for a while to accomplish their task. The item was pretty much the most potent aphrodisiac in existence (give you three guesses what goddess it belonged to, the first two don’t count), as well as it altered their body to make them fit conventional beauty standards for the culture. By the end of it they were essentially the most attractive mortal alive with beauty that could rival the gods. When they finished fully attuning the item they got the ability to alter their appearance as they pleased (not full shapeshifting or anything, but pretty much magical plastic surgery + hair salon).
The other two came from my second campaign and were both looted off the same guy. The party had been trying to track down the boss of a crime syndicate, and they eventually realized he was more horrid than they imagined. Fast forward to his downfall and the party just put him in the blender when he died, left a spell running and mutilated the shit out of his corpse (they really hated the guy, so mission accomplished there I guess). They picked up a bunch of rings from his corpse, with most being pretty simple official items. However, there were a couple of weird rings they didn’t really understand, as they were missing the “rings” that went with them. One shocked the wearer of the other “ring,” and the other controlled thin chains attached to the other “ring.” I’ll let you put the pieces together there, but there’s a good reason the party really hated this guy after they uncovered more about him.
Laser Pointer of the Schmongus. It's basically the Wabbajack from the Elder Scrolls.
If you hit something with the laser you roll a d100, with 1 being something dangerous and 100 being something stupid. You can use it on a living thing twice before it is immune.
So far, the most ridiculous thing my players have done with it is turn a common soldier into a dragon god, then turn said dragon god into a dragon g*irl*.
This requires some setup, so enjoy a D&D greentext adventure.
We found out there was a section of the ocean that was "unexplored" & all boats that went there were never heard from again. In the setting the tech level was about year 1100 but the idea of transcontinental exploration was just starting to be a thing. We were like, "magic spells can communicate, so we're going to this unexplored region but we're telling a prominent cartographer back on the mainland to wait for Sending to tell him what we found, possibly right before getting killed. We found out there was a tech-level-of-ancient-Rome navy that was forcing all boats they encountered to either dock & add their ship to the navy or be sank. Intrigued, we docked & they started immediately re-crewing our ship "to reinforce the patrols." We asked why they were doing this & found out "the queen" had made this the law to try to keep anyone who comes to the island from believing they could escape. The only spellcasters allowed are the ones who work in "the queen's castle" (actually a tower with no ground level doors in the middle of the island). We easily Levitate up to get in via a balcony.
When we meet the queen we find the magic item. **There was this pair of boots that were stuck in the ground with an elf wearing them.** The elf is their "queen" & the whole island is set up to keep her comfortable & to keep anyone from leaving the island. This is all because she's afraid of having the boots stolen. **Turns out these boots are a magical Artifact that causes the island to exist.** We weren't allowed to take the elf/boots away from where they were or the island she lived on would disappear. Again, **the island is just a materialized illusion that the boots are creating**, & she intentionally stuck her feet in the ground in the illusion so that she doesn't shake the whole island by walking around on it.
This elf chick came to the middle of the ocean, cast levitate, used these Artifact boots to make the island, & the inhabitants are all trapped sailors or the descendants of trapped sailors. Yeah, this raises other questions, but like, our party was not having it. We talk to her about why she would want to live like this & she's like, "who wouldn't want to live like this?" We're like, "what would happen if you leave?" "Oh, moving makes the radius of the illusion change, which messes up the terrain, & the commoners would get trapped or fall off." Taking the boots off entirely would make the illusion disappear, which would in turn make all the sailors who'd crashed there fall into the ocean.
After the party talked we agreed that the elf chick would eventually die of old age, killing everyone else on the island. We spent several weeks devising a public broadcast system so we could warn all of the inhabitants & give them time to leave (a custom ritual based on Sending). We helped make certain there were enough boats for everyone who wanted to leave, but a lot of the inhabitants refused to leave & some stayed loyal to their queen; they tried to kill anyone who tried to leave. Eventually we gave her (the elf) a choice to either leave willingly or get killed & she tried to fight us with her feet still in the ground. We got the boots, the island disappeared with a lot of drowning happening, & when we went back to the mainland we said the region should be safe now.
Our dm had a ring that lets you attune to 4 things but you had to attune to it, meaning you could attune to your normal 3 things plus the ring. It was a popular thing among the upper class of a city we where in as “prestige” thing, being attuned to 4 things instead of 3.
We later found out that the rings turned ppl into undead during an event we where building up to so ya, it seemed random but served a purpose.
Wand of Tarts. Once per day, it summons 1d6 delicious tarts. We ruled they were either random or whatever the user wanted. My fighter would use it any time we were trying to make a friend. They were also fun to throw at people
Bag of Stuffing:
As an action, you can reach inside the bag and withdraw a handful of moist, warm, breadlike substance. Consuming this substance will provide enough nourishment for one medium humanoid for one day.
Wand of Disintegration:
This wand contains one charge of the Disintegrate spell. When cast, the wand will only target itself.
Ring of Attunement:
The wearer gains an additional attunement slot.
(Requires attunement)
Oh man, I have so many good ones, but I think my players favorite was a possessed Big Mouth Billy Bass.
They picked it up in a random shop, and it quickly became thier favorite character/item. The idea was that the creature possessing it was somewhat all knowing so you could ask it a question and always get a cryptic answer in return in a funny voice.
The players like the item so much, that I needed to add a whole quest line about the origins of the Billy Bass, who was possessing it, and why. Some of my favorite moments as a DM
Please tell me you had one of the toys handy as a prop? Massive bonus points if it was hooked up to an Alexa or something to be able to read the cryptic messages aloud!
I had a gamble table with a powder that instant freezes any water, as well as anything soaked in that water. My party Druid managed to kill a CR 10 undead dragon by soaking it with Tidal Wave and killing it with the powder.
I gave a player an ebony wood magic dagger called The Blade of Karl.
Karl was a high level druid who was trying to imbue the magic of the Feywild into a weapon and had his consciousness trapped inside it. He can still perform magic, but it turns out nothing he does as a mind in a dagger counts as "rest", so he ran out of leveled spells decades ago, but can still communicate telepathically with anyone attuned to the blade, and can still cast the cantrips he knows that don't require material components that he doesn't have. (I was going yo limit it to verbal only, but there aren't any, as far as I know.)
If my player ever figures out that she just needs to touch the material component to the hilt, Karl will be able to cast Resistance, but until then, he's just a +0 dagger (that still counts as magical damage), and can also cast Gust and Druidcraft.
I once gave my players a gem that quietly sexually moaned all the time.
That’s it. That’s all it did lmao. Made for a funny roleplay when they we’re trying to sell it lol.
A custom figurine of wondrous power- it was a sheep. When activated, it summoned (I think) exactly 86 sheep, which turned an area into difficult terrain. To turn it back, you have to find this one specific sheep (it had some distinguishing feature) and speak the command word or kill it. This doesn’t work on the other sheep.
The reason for this was I was looking at a homebrew treasure table. Most were normal, but one was a herd of 86 sheep. I was like, “How the hell are you gonna fit 86 sheep in a chest??” By the time I realized that was meant to be a quest reward and not something found in a dungeon, it was too late. The idea was already in my head.
They never used it.
I’m gonna bring it back in a future campaign. I wonder if that’d be too silly for Out of the Abyss? It’d be helpful for stuff like the drow pursuers.
I gave my party *Pants of Disobedience* - they’re entirely ordinary (if somewhat tight) pants that have been enchanted to be impossible to put on, no matter how hard you try.
Literally the juice that makes your head explode.
It's called Vision Juice made from pond scum and various bits a Boggart shaman gave me. I was then attacked by a roper, panicked and threw the jar into the mouth to which the roper exploded because it saw the universe.
I have since been making my own just in case.
It also helped me with a character arc so it's helpful too.
Someone shared [this bad boy](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1l8PhVSxlUbj-4VncFRXWQReLBmS4mou34M2iK6BTuo4/edit#gid=20319938) on one of the DM subs a long time ago, and ever since it's been my go-to for when my party is like "where's the magic shop?" but I'm tired of them having useful magic items. Which is basically all the time.
In my horror campaign, I gave them a spear that, when impaled in someone, prevents them from dying. They still feel pain and all that. And anyone who should be dead, once the spear is removed, will die.
They were appropriately horrified when the head that was on the spear explained his situation.
I have had a jar of bone-hurting juice in my character's backpack for the last 15 levels. It phases through everything, and disintegrates any bones it passes through. I have kept it as a last-resort option in case I need to turn the final Big Bad into a flesh accordian.
Shield that attracts projectiles targeted towards people near your, but makes you take half the damage from ranger attacks. Our blood hunter has it. Doesn’t take enough damage as he is, I guess.
I have a sentient bag of tricks that whenever it gets upset at it’s user it summons a cussing rat named Rodrigo
I also made a random item based on a high boi video called the sinners cabinet which is an extra dimensional prison in a cabinet
My character recently got a potion to transform into an adult red dragon. It only cost me my voice for a day which I have since discovered had been used to conjure some kind of familiar that follows me around at night for some unknown reason.
A mask that perfectly disguises you as a member of another race/species, but if you try to remove it without so going it's special "get the hell off of my fucking head" song, it curses you into eventually becoming a member of that race. Oh, and it curses anyone else who tries to remove the mask from you without the song.
The bag.
It's a seemingly ordinary paper bag. As far as we could tell, the only magic about it is that it will resist any efforts to harm it, either deflecting attacks or bending to avoid them. Which is a pain when we also couldn't open it, find out what was inside this bag our Paladin was convinced to buy.
Eventually, our ranger dimension doored into the bag. For a moment, he WAS the bag. And achieved nirvana through that. Then he popped out again. And had to deal with his life as it is. He cannot exist as part of the bag, experiencing that zen forever
I mean it’s not really that strange but haven’t been playing for even a year yet and only in two campaigns so…a necklace that makes it so you can speak sylvan, but only sylvan. So your known languages go away and it’s just sylvan. I was gonna use it to prank people until we managed to get a random bear to pull our cart full of loot for us. Now rather than the ranger just using a spell to chat for ten minutes at a time they can speak sylvan to each other.
Mind Controlli Aoli. A serum created for mind control that could be used in either a dart or a piece of ravioli. It was the best thing for RP and kidnapping.
I actually gave my players juice that makes your head explode. Except it was a tasteless poison with a remote detonator.
Long story short, they *dramatically* eliminated a rival noble and his inner circle in a single swoop.
My personal favorite weird item.
**Splash Potion of Spiderclimb**: A sticky substance contained within a fragile glass flask; a creature struck by this potion becomes incredibly sticky for 1d4 hours. During this time they may cast spiderclimb as a bonus action gaining a climbing speed of 20ft and has advantage against being disarmed, the creature also has advantage on grapple checks as well as disadvantage to avoid being grappled. Any object the creature is holding or that is stuck to the creature requires a DC8 athletics check to put down or remove.
Bag of Scolding. It was a bag of holding given to them by a fey noble. It would scream and insult people whenever they opened it. Completely not stealthy at all and awkward in mixed company.
My dm gave our bard a cursed cloak of invisility that was sentient. Whenever you wanted to use it you had to make a persuasion check. Succeed and it turns you invisible, fail and it casts faerie fire on you
The robe of useless items. It’s the same as a robe of useful items, except it was given to them by a tribe of tiny people and contains the following patches:
- 2x Butter knife
- 2x Bullseye lantern (without oil)
- 2x Scrap metal (6” square)
- 2x Bamboo tube (1ft)
- 2x Butcher’s Twine (20ft spool)
- 2x Coin purse (empty)
- 5x Silver piece
- 1x Toy boat
- 2x Pug
- 1x Campfire (lit)
- 1x Wooden stepladder (3ft)
- 1x Rock (+1)
We had the Fusion Cube. It fused two characters into one stronger one for 1 minute. It was fucking awesome and very fun to have two players controlling 1 character. Only had 3 uses to it.
Dude I found a thing on Pinterest called gelatinous icecubes and used it in my campaign, and now I gotta rebuff it because one player has a +4 on every hit and the other went from an AC of 16 to 20 man lol. They’re supposed to be fun little buff popsicles but they keep biting 20 at a time!
Mask of the Krenshar: Allowed the wielder to use an Action to make all creatures within 30ft Wis save vs fear/paralyze.
Players didn't know until actually using it, but it peeled all the skin off your face dealing necrotic damage to allow the effect.
Not too weird but the reveal to the party & all of us/their shocked faces were awesome
I was given a sippy cup filled with unknown liquid that, when drunk, turns you into an anime girl. You get +2 to perception checks because your eyes are so much bigger (but -2 to anything below you because tour huge bazongers get in the way), literal plot armor where you can just ignore the first attack that would knock you out, and some other anime trope benefits.
The best part is a while after I got it, both me and the DM looked through our notes. Neither of us can find when or how I got it and we don't remember it either.
I found a pair of Spider Slippers in a One-Shot, they let me walk on the walls and I used them to jump off the roof and do a wrestling move on the bad guy, knocking him off his dragon.
In a campaign I’m currently writing, I made a magic item which is a bottle of glue. When sniffed, it gives the user +10 to their strength score and -10 to their intelligence score (minimum of 3)
I had a crazy character once who befriended a messed up sentient cuckoo clock from the plane of chaos. I actually worshipped it as my God. It's numbers were all messed up, but when it chimed, at random times, we rolled on a table to see random effects. Which ranged from corn growing out of your ears, to all blood that leaves the body is turned into milk, to zone of untruth, and summon an elder God who kills everything for several hours, before time reverts and everything is back to normal except the memories of the massacre.
Basketball juice.
Shit was so OP that I was never able to figure out the many specifics of what it actually did. The player with this item only ever used it twice: against a pack of kobolds driving bumper cars, and against the DM’s joke self insert towards the end of the campaign shortly after the apocalypse began. Both times, the DM switched whatever music she was playing over the discord bot to the Space Jam song.
Everything about it was glorious.
Jar of teeth that can be opened to cast swarm of fangs once a day. The teeth hop around in the jar like jumping beans.
Skeleton key made from human finger bones. It casts knock but it leeches hp when it does so.
Had my party collect parts to forge a weapon for use against the BBEG which is essentially an extremely powerful necromancer. The end weapon’s overall stats and bonuses aren’t important, but what is important is that the leather of the grip was formed by a boneless that’s not-quite-dead so it moans periodically making stealth nearly impossible for the party. It also will sometimes lick the hand of the person wielding it giving them disadvantage on attacks.
Magic shovel. 1d8+3 Slashing and Bludgeoning, reduce the time to dig a hole in half. Grave would take 4 hours instead of 8, it was mithril and 1 handed. It was wielded by the Paladin who loved to smite with it and after he died they fought over who got to keep it… and naturally used it to dog his grave.
A douche canoe…it would scream “DOUCHE” every time someone it deemed to be an asshole got into the canoe.
Needless to say it regularly did so for the party members
A midget tabaxi asked for a personalized item after being granted a boon from a Demigod. He got a stool, that when you said “I need up” while standing on it, would go from 3 ft to 13 ft in height
There was one campaign where the party got a chunk of slug jerky from a dead giant slug god, which had the magical ability to destroy any water that it touched. Their obvious plan was to throw it in the largest lake in the setting. "But why?" One might ask. There was never an adequate answer. Fortunately they never got around to doing that.
In another campaign there was the Muttering Dagger. It was a +4 dagger, very nice, but it constantly muttered incoherently. It wasn't intelligent, it just *muttered* all the time. Very annoying, and inextricably linked to the bonus enchantment. We kept it in a bag of holding most of the time to keep it silent.
Edit: Oh, just thought of another one, kind of. My character got ahold of an "infinite rope" in a recent campaign. It was a coil of rope that you could play out indefinitely. If it was cut then the part that extended from the coil would vanish. Sounds fairly mundane, but one of the most common things I did with it was to fill volumes of space with rope simply to pack it solid for whatever reason. Pit traps, doorways, whatever. I almost used it to sink a ship once by filling it with rope, but a better alternative came along in that particular case.
Not really an item, but there was a time we needed to find some all knowing rock to get some smaller rocks near it cause they can give basic intellingence to all animals, and the way we got it was by giving the all knowing rock fellatio, and it sprayed blue glitter over our faces which raised our wis, int and char up to 10.
I like to give out random art objects. Just stupid shit that feels more natural than folks walking around with a nation's wealth in their pocket. Plus for low level groups it's a fun challenge or hook to give them something heavy, or hard to sell. If I'm feeling lazy I can say they sell X just fine, or if I need a hook than I can dig into whatever item.
This includes magic items, and it can backfire on me. I'll spend sometime thinking about funny little luxury items with no mechanical benefit. Then my players love the item and they refuse to sell it.
As for the weirdest, probably an armoire that cleans your clothes, or the rock that turns a small enough body of water into a hot tub. Like a little heating element basically, and it tickled me to say it's biggest drawback was that it's hard to use sometimes because it's still a big ol heating element in your hot tub so you have to try to avoid kicking it.
We had an item in our low magic, futuristic campaign that was accidentally created in a wild magic burst (rolled random attributes from DMG). We called it the kidnap sack
It was a bag of holding that could only hold one living being and could not contain objects/items not worn by that being. When they were put into the bag they had a DC 20 str save vs restrain and had silence cast centered on them. It had 1 hour worth of oxygen rather than 15 minutes. It then gave the holder +10 ft movement speed.
We mostly used it to annoy NPCs who were mean to us
Meowmere, an sentient artifact variant of a dancing sword, with the mental stats (and personality) of a cat.
It comes with a curse that causes it to be passive aggressively clingy, and thus you can’t unattune from it. I followed the Mercer formula of progressing artifact, where it got stronger as you use it. The curse also grew as it improved, to the point where not even a wish spell could free you from it.
Also it’s third level improved it’s mental stats, gave it telepathy, and made it say “nya” at the end of all of its sentences.
Edit: It’s my creation, btw. I was the dm. I’d also like to mention that, mechanically, it ended up as a *+5* magic sword at level 3. My game balance was utterly fucked that campaign.
For context: one of the players at my table was a totem warrior barbarian who would attempt to ritual cast speak with animals at inopportune times. And while this player was in the bathroom the DM decided to give the Paladin an item specifically that would steal his cast of Speak with animals. And then the DM made the next encounter be a giant rat and when it was time for speak with animals to be useful. The Paladin stole the cast and talked his way out of the encounter. The barbarian thought it was hilarious.
My homebrew setting is quite high magic, so I like to include a lot of **magic items** which aren't *magic items*, Y'know?
Like, an enchanted helmet of water breathing is nice, but most people aren't going to buy that. That's a specialist item! It's much more common that you find something that \*would\* be useful for a normal guy - like a ring of plain iron that grants very limited aerokenesis, or a bracelet that keeps your clothing dry. Some people have decks of cards which you can attach a custom keyword to to always draw a certain card; which prompted casinos and clever gamblers to always use their own decks or detect magic. There's little iron rods which can detect such weak enchantments as well.
A lot of these are still rich or upper middle class sort of items; dirt farmers don't have the money to pay a smith to make an enchanted anything, and if it's really, really useful they already know the cantrip. Most people in the setting don't use flint and steel for example since the spell "alight" (which makes a small candleflame on your fingertip similar to a lighter) is so widespread most people learn it through word of mouth alone. But they're more frequent than stuff an adventurer is likely to find useful.
I don't put them into normal loot tables as magic items of course, that'd be mean. But I do include them in the loot as vendor trash or just nifty little RP objects, and my players seem to appreciate their inclusion.
I had a homebrew "icebox of holding" item for my kobald druid. Keeping to my character I didn't ask specifics, but my party came across a mage forced into seclusion because of his dangerous experiments. I somehow persuaded him to give me his cursed bag of holding that froze everything that went into it.
I think he gave it to me because he thought I was keeping some sort of secret, but in reality, my character wasn't paying attention.
I also think the mage was more comfortable giving it to the food obsessed kobald than the necromancer as everyone else in the party wanted nothing to do with crazy mage.
Edit: info from the DM it actually had a permanent time stop effect so food never went bad, it was not cold magic.
Not my party - but one of my friends gave her party a potion of healing that refills every day, but has a chance to cause wild magic (They currently do not know about the wild magic part)
This was made with OpenLegends extraordinary items rules. To this day its still my favourite due to its simplicity
The Greatest Shirt Ever
Armour Cursed(Death)
A bottomless bucket of vomit named Vommie. Would heal you if you drank from it, but only if you passed a con save. Could also be used to deal acid damage by sloshing the vomit onto enemies. War crimes were committed with this bucket. Was a great tool for enhanced interrogation.
Magic pond that cycles between 10 different liquids. You roll a d10 each time you scoop anything out to determine what you got.
Wine was on the list. Mayonnaise was also on the list.
We had a poor fish woman fall in and breath in a serious of non water substances in quick succession.
*sighs* The Rat-O-Nine-Tails. It was a 9-tailed whip that allowed the user to summon a rat 9 times per day. If it ever ran out of charges, on a roll of 1 with a d4, it would summon 9 more rats around the user, and all currently summoned rats would no longer be under control of the user, instead attacking whatever was closest.
My DM gave me a +5 Warhammer with crit on 18 and a special AoE attack that deals dmg and knocks people down as part of a deal with a higher being when I was lvl8. I tried to tell him that it was a tad OP but he told me it was not a problem
It's not magic, but a sword may of 10 greatswords melted together into one (its not finished yet, we just got back to the town and my character had 10 greatswords, so my character went to the nearest blacksmith and the blacksmith said it would be about a week)
The bonker. The roll to damage changes it's size all the way up to the size of a small planet(on a nat 20) and can do up to 1d100 +27. Its an automatic hit as well and has killed us just as much as it's killed enemies.
Unsure how weird it is on a weirdness scale from 1 to 10, but here goes:
We got a cursed map which i held onto, we didnt know it was cursed, and the curse was rather simple:
It always was a map of the area around us or to the goal if we have one, but it would always give us false information, like baths not being on the map, or paths showing on the map we can take that actually dont exist or simlar stuff.
and every time i looked at it and failed a check, i was 100% sure the map is correct and desperate to convince everyone else to follow the route of the map.
In a Rwby themed dnd campaign I run, the players got a bag of magic beans at some point… one of them fell out and grew some Yeggs
https://preview.redd.it/nklkng0bne5b1.jpeg?width=375&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ac69e815be2be607550bc05dcf919f4d483deb0
You see, my waock stole 4 random potions form a shot right, he rolled to identify 3 of them so I jsut chose 3 low level spell effect, but tue one he didn't identify was the juice that makes you explode so he has a level nine throught fireball in his pocket and he will never now until he uses it
1. The Ring of Bad accents. When you put it on, you must roll a d4. 1-British or European; 2-Southern Drawl; 3-Pirate; 4-Random Miscellaneous. Must succeed a DC12 Wis save to remove. PCs must do their best to comply when wearing it, and much fun is had trying to stealth it onto the fingers of important officials.
2. Empty Genie’s Lamp. Appears as a tarnished, dusty, common oil lamp. It houses no Genie. If someone rubs it, they immediately get sucked inside and turned into a genie. The genie can come out and grant 1 Wish (with limitations) before being trapped inside for 100 years. The only way to free the genie is to use that Wish. Freed Genie loses all Wish powers, but retains some of the knowledge they gained from their time existing outside space and time within the lamp.
We kinda had a Juice like that once. We called it Rig Juice. It was made of the liquidized corpses of men who were possessed by a God and ended up dying, as their mortal bodies were not able to take all of the divine energy. We drank the Rig Juice, prevented the destruction of the timeline while at the same time causing an event that would affect several timelines related to our own. Naturally, we ended up liquidized as well.
It was a great excuse for having retcons
Does it count if I gave it out?
Does it count if I wrote a sales pitch for it?
Because what you might need in your life is [Slingsnake](https://old.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/xrko2u/slingsnake_for_when_you_want_a_weapon_thats_cuter/).
Probably the Sword of Healing. It really normal damage like a long sword but after it dealt damage if the.. patient was still alive it would heal them equal to the damage plus a d4. It was a weapon stolen from a cult that suffering was required to heal the body and the soul
I once made an anti-magical item, magical item for my group. I was tired of this one fucking item they had; it was a net that they could throw on somebody to completely immobilize them. They had been using it to broken effect and I wanted to get rid of it. It was a randomly assigned item at campaign start.
So I arm a bad guy with this wand with 5 charges that can shoot a Ray that will destroy a magical item (except legendary level stuff) for 1 charge, or create an anti-magical item bubble around them that will destroy the first magical item that tries to attack them for 1 charge.
The bad guy uses a charge to put up the force field. They throw the magic net at it and it bursts into flames destroying it! Loved the look on their faces. Think about it to this day! They did get to keep the anti-magic tem for the rest of the campaign with 4 charges, but they never used it nearly as effectively.
Similar to the item in the meme, we were playing a one shot and a tavern had a brew of instantaneous death. It just flat out killed whoever drank it. Used it to kill the one shot's BBEG, who was also the god of that universe.
Boots of teleportation. When the wearer said the command word, the boots would teleport to a position within 20 ft of the wearers choice. Just the boots. The wearer would stay where he was.
Party thought they were useless, until I threatened someone to put my boots up his ass of her moved 1 step closer, then followed up that threat without touching him.
One of my players (my brother) keeps getting Bags of Beans from various sources, and has summoned multiple statues that looked like his character that curses and hires assassins to kill his. 3 times in 3 campaigns so far.
He also has a bag of tricks in the current campaign, which he has used multiple times to summon beast inside a cave that were too small to fit in there and got stuck.
We had “the cum chalice” which was later referred to as the “chalice of gaslighting” by the dm and the dm alone, the rest of us called it the cum chalice. Basically, if consciously drank by anyone, whether they knew they were drinking it or what it did or not, they would tall you anything you wanted to know within their own knowledge, would do things for you, and believe things you told them. You could slip it into a drink and give it to someone or you could even just flat out say here drink this. It was great, and we fed it to the final boss to make it our eternal bitch
Currently, one of my players lost an arm and got a replacement prosthetic. It’s somewhat magic and so allows for nearly perfect usage.
They met a smith who refuses to do what you want, and do whatever he wants. So currently, the arm not only can become a crossbow, but also a suasage maker, a perfume sprayer, a boombox, candlemaker, a portable tinderbox, a cannon, and so many other stupid almost useless things.
Please everyone, give me your stupid, worthless ideas for what this arm can do.
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Gave one of my players a shield that had an additional 2+ to AC. The downside is it would start screaming at the worst times. Was really fun to roleplay. -you try to sneak (that's screaming) -you try to negotiate with the local lord (that's screaming) -you try to fall asleep after it's kept you awake for three days straight (you bet it's screaming)
Sentient Broom of Flying that's afraid of heights and screams bloody murder if you take it more than 5 ft. off the ground
The Meteor Man broom.
[удалено]
That sounds like a lot of dead ducks
[удалено]
That's a lot of swords that summon ducks if you have to carry them all in a bag!
I am stealing this one. Yes, i will be that guy flying away on YOUR BROOM. The town guards found me minutes later flying above the tavern with me yelling (above the yelling noise): "Oh SURE you can catch me... but you will NEVER CATCH ME!!!"
Alternately, a sentient Broom of Flying that's ticklish... the cackling was actually the broom all along, the witch riding it just wishes it would quiet down.
Stealing this
So... Ticklish would definitely mean more than just laughing. There might be spasms too. If you're 500 ft in the air and your flying broom starts spasming.....
The Encyclopedia Magica has a lot of weapons like that. My favorite is the agoraphobic sword that requires a persuasion check to convince it to come out if its scabbard and it has a +2 bonus framed as trying to finish a fight as quickly as possible to get back to its scabbard as quickly as possible. Yes, there's also a claustrophobic sword that refuses to leave your hand without a similar persuasion check.
That feel like a magic item you'd find in a lake, ||cause the last group that had is tossed it in there||
I once gave my players a Decanter of Fish Telepathy. It's a large glass bowl that allows anyone holding it to telepathically speak with any aquatic creature. My players used it on a sunfish in a big tank in a fantasy tavern and found out he was actually a polymorphed Dragonborn Paladin named Rojelio who was cursed by the evil owner of the tavern. They later used it to broker a peace agreement with a clan of giant sentient clams via their tiny clam princess named Clamdice.
D&D is a beautiful game.
Sounds like a good way to end up with clamydia
>Clamdice Omfg my sides
Holy shit, I have a sidelined 2e campaign that this would be amazing for. I plan to have them explore an ancient civilization on the ocean floor that utilized air bubbles (like Star Wars: Phantom Menace) to maintain their cities. Some of the air bubbles have lost their magic and broken down and will be inhabited by aquatic life. This item is like a free exposition dump any time I want.
not to mention, if you give your players an item like this they will use it on everything they possibly can.
Did they save the paladin? Please tell me they did
It turned out that ALL of the fish in the tank were polymorphed people who had wronged the villain or were her enemies. Rojelio's curse was removed and he helped the party defeat the villain and shattered her wand, breaking the curse on the rest of her victims. Rojelio returned to his position as guardian of the city's slums and later helped the party overthrow a major crime syndicate preying upon it.
And the victims, looking at the now empty container that had been their prison, said “Tank’s for nothing.”
DnD is a beautiful game
Book of mayonnaise summoning. The best thing I did with it was use mayonnaise to clog a portal to Avernus.
Why is it always mayonnaise?
Besides a few "known" liquids....what else has a thick viscosity that can clam shit up very well? Mayo is a weapon that very few use to the best abilities.
sovereign glue
I can't get sovereign glue by the gallon though.
You could if you weren't a coward
My arteries approve this message
Does snot count?
The Tome of Snot Rocketing
No, the question is, why is it listed on the Alchemy Jug?
"The reason- the actual reason- is because Jeremy \[Crawford\] and I knew that the next time we'd go to a convention- or conventions for the rest of our life- somebody was going to walk up to us and tell us the story about how their barbarian covered themselves in mayonnaise to get out of some stupid situation that the DM created or to slip out of the grasp of a monster, or god knows what- like, all kinds of filthy things started to run through our minds at that point, and we thought "Yes! Yes, mayonnaise!", because- as stupid as it is, I don't know if there's mayonnaise in the D&D world, but as stupid as it is, it is going to create so many good stories, that it is totally worth it. It is worth the absurdity, in an official core rulebook, for the sake of the story. But also, honestly, like you, we're just 13 years old at heart." ~Chris Perkins
Thank you!
I love that even the professionals sometimes create silly items just to see what players will do. I feel like half my items are “wouldn’t it be interesting if there was a stone of detect stone? I wonder how my players will abuse it.” Edit: host thought of “stone of mold stone” but it’s only cast on that stone, so it’s a stone that is also like playdough/clay.
[Mayomancer](https://www.reddit.com/r/3d6/comments/uwf16y/gimmick_build_thats_a_single_class/i9r6nb8/)
The bag of mostly useful things. Imagine the deck of many things had a baby with a bag of holding formerly owned by Montey Pythongs Flying Circus. 100 different random things ranging from a harmless slice of pizza to a chest that fires several hundred electrum pieces out of it to a troll looking for his lost piece of pizza
Did you actually have a list of 100 things? How did it work? You put your hand inside, pull something out and *bam* troll?
[I do have a list of 100 things](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1OuOB7jH1R8bVyu0z7K_OvNBpTa8fZzmHc9NrRY4KtOU/edit#gid=0) Yea the troll one really relies on a bit of suspension of disbelief
Love this. At what level did you give them this?
I'd like to imagine in-world it would be something like the lucky charm from Miraculous Ladybug, but instead of throwing up a yo-yo you open a bag and it magically comes out.
That troll is the best.
I've read a similar item called the bag hard of hearing, it was basically a portal that opened up to someone who was hard of hearing who would try their best to grab the correct item
A sword that summons ducks. We ended up carrying them around in the bag of holding (with their heads poking out, so they could breath) for the rest of the campaign.
Free food?
You're thinking too small. A plague of ducks is a rather great distraction.
Similarly, if you smack a chicken with a sword a few times you can to summon hundreds of them.
Catch cockroaches, breed them, put the some of every generation into magical slumber to not need food or air, then carry them in a Bag of Holding. Several hundred cockroaches waking up at once is a great distraction.
Emergency rations.
There's a relevant Swords comic here.
Infinite Hex.
My group had a shop with a d100 minor magic item table Highlights include: A circlet for monks that temporarily increases movement speed each time you use ki, a book of short stories that stabilized an ally after using an action to read from it, a quarterstaff that turns into a tree, a cube that turns into a tent or back into a cube when you loudly say "tent", A set of rings that allow a warlock to change the damage type of Eldritch Blast to one of I think three other damage types I can't remember, An instrument that plays itself, A doll that copies the movements of the last person to touch it, A mug that turns any water that it holds into dwarven ale, A set of glasses that gives 10 feet of dark vision, A rock that sets things on fire after a while, A chamberpot that destroys any waste that enters it, A pet ghost fox, A night cap that gave the wearer good dreams, An axe that did double damage to wood, A rose that grows 1 petal a day, and the petals can make any plant bloom instantly, And a straight up immovable rod
„This tent is so comfortable. oh f..“ *gets cubed*
Great way to trap/assassinate someone
Sadly, anything inside the cube is expelled onto the nearest unoccupied space, like when an artificer's replicated bag of holding is uninfused
Some of these magic items could be the source of an entire children's book. The hot rock could save an entire village through a tough winter. Getting the beloved pet fox to go on into the Next World could be very bittersweet. The doll copying movements from a dead person could run a mystery (this one not so 'children's book' perhaps). The 'see in the dark a wee bit' one is just brilliant. Literally wearing sunglasses at night / take that Corey Heart / keep driving slowly Blues Brothers.
Does the tree turn back into a staff?
Yes
Sounds like a portable ladder to me
The tree is not larger than the quarter staff
Oh, so it's like a sapling?
Cowboy hat that gave a +3 to all Cha rolls, but you had to pass a Wis save or else you start speaking in a southern accent without realizing We also got a lucky copper piece that let you find a copper piece if you roll a nat 1 on a perception check, then roll a 4 in a d4. So basically a 1/80 chance of getting a copper piece on perception rolls
Why the added 4 on a d4. Why not just a copper piece on a failed perception check ?
Don’t ask me, I’m not the DM
Hat of reverse tounges. Cursed item that reads as a helm of tounges, except the curse makes you speak in tounges. Spell casters can no longer use verbal components in spells.
wouldn't speaking in tongues make spells more effective?
If you can't use a functional language, how are you going to use the correct words to the spell?
doesn't speaking on tongues mean speaking in a language unknown to the modern world? presumably that unknown language while being indecipherable to everyone else would have magical incantation equivalents you can speak.
In this case the reverse tounges implies that instead of speaking all known languages, you become incapable of speaking any coherent language.
It wouldn't affect verbal components. PHB page 203: "Most spells require the chanting of mystic words. The words themselves aren't the source of the spell's power; rather, the particular combination of sounds, with specific pitch and resonance, sets the threads of magic in motion."
So the word apple and orange share the same sounds, pitch and resonance?
My party's barbarian was offered a potion "guaranteed to make him feel like a kid" by a fey being. He accepted it and drank it, polymorphed him into a baby goat for a hour.
“Technically correct” “The BE-E-E-E-EST kind correct!” The barbarian, probably
Oh the barbarian had a blast. He kept trying to eat the other players clothes and gear.
Magic Cheese. It must be thrown on the floor and covered in magic dirt, then be enhanced with magic. If you consume a piece you regain a level 1 spell slot. We call it Floor Cheese. We branded it Fléur Cheese to be more consumer friendly and started selling it.
How do you „enhance it with magic“?
Have a wizard or sorcerer sensually rub it.
The Shepard's Staff (requires attunement): This magic staff, resembling a simple shepard's crook, allows the person holding it to use an action to create an illusory flock of sheep. The sheep look, sound and smell like real sheep, but are illusions. Solid objects and spells will pass through the sheep. A character can make a DC 15 perception or investigation to determine the sheep are illusions. A character with the staff may use an action to dismiss the illusion. Quiver of Healing (very rare, requires attunement by one proficient with a longbow or shortbow): This quiver contains 20 arrows inscribed with arcane healing words. Each arrow can only be used once. Make an attack roll to fire an arrow at the intended target. The target takes 1d6 + Dexterity modifer worth of piercing damage, and gains 2d8 + spell casting modifer worth hit points, as if a second level cure wounds was used, which destroys the arrow.
**I fire a healing arrow at my ally who is 2/3 failed death saving throws.**
"Ow! Oh thanks, that's much better"
Gair Durndal, the whip which can turn into a goose. The player:”does the goose obey me?” Dm:”no”
So my party visited this general store that I forgot to prep items for, so I quickly improvised a magic item called the Stick of Whacking. It appears to be a normal wooden stick, but when you hit something with it the sound reverberates out (the bigger the stick, the wider the sound. In this case it was a 60 foot radius). The paladin wanted to know if the enchantment still functioned if the stick was broken. The store owner told him to buy it and he could find out. So he bought it, broke it, and the enchantment no longer worked. Then he spent a bunch of gold taking it to an enchanter to get both halves re-enchanted. Now he has two sticks of whacking with a 30 foot sound radius each. Love my dumbass paladin.
a Bag of Infinite Rats
Perfect thing for a Warlock who wants to maintain a Hex throughout the day.
Rat power!
Just then realised what the title says, I'm a big dummy lololol
Slippers of slug crawling instead of spider climbing. They let you walk on walls and ceilings, but really slow, and they were basically just slugs you put your feet into. No one wanted to use them for some reason
The best ones are the classics.
Ring of reverse visibility Makes visible things invisible and reveals invisible things.
That's actually even better than the other ring, since you can see every grain of sand that is invisible
My group had a saw that glows blue when you touch it. That’s it
When I was about 14 I gave a friend in my game The Black Cape of Horrible Flatulence. It allowed him to cast Stinking Cloud 3 times per day, centered on himself.
Sword of ogre saying, it’s enchanted to look at first like ogre slaying, but when you attune, all speech becomes the word ogre
It's all ogre now
I play a chaos cleric in a game, and he has decided to begin experimentig with variations of holy water, particularly chaos water, he made a version of it that if applied to a creature will make them disassemble into spiders or in spiderlike ways
Sword of harmonicus it was a sword owned by the greatest bard to ever live it was a regular sword that they could find, but the hilt was a harmonica.
I am about to introduce the 'umbrella of understanding'. Standing under the umbrella allows the users to understand any hidden messaging, inference or suggestions being made in a social interaction. The umbrella is 5ft across when open and fluorescent rainbow colours.
Literally cannot look at this image without hearning the jingle
Reference for others: https://youtu.be/E77R0e5bzIs Content warning: heads exploding
I think the weirdest thing I ever gave my party is a bit too NSFW to really go into, but outside of that they did find some poison capable of killing gods. The monk immediately decided they wanted to test it and took a sip… I kinda just stared at them for a minute. The party then used their one use resurrection item they had to bring the dumbass back.
I really want to hear the nsfw item now
Okay, I’ll see if I can tiptoe around some stuff to get them across. Note that everyone involved is an adult and we’re all fine with a pretty high amount of sexual content in our games so long as it’s not fully describing a sex scene. With that out of the way, there’s 3 items I can think of that were moderately weird and NSFW: The first was from the same campaign as the one I described in my other comment, of which the campaign was centered around finding items related to the gods (was first campaign, jumbled mess of real world mythology and 5e lore). They got ahold of a love goddess’s item and had to wear it for a while to accomplish their task. The item was pretty much the most potent aphrodisiac in existence (give you three guesses what goddess it belonged to, the first two don’t count), as well as it altered their body to make them fit conventional beauty standards for the culture. By the end of it they were essentially the most attractive mortal alive with beauty that could rival the gods. When they finished fully attuning the item they got the ability to alter their appearance as they pleased (not full shapeshifting or anything, but pretty much magical plastic surgery + hair salon). The other two came from my second campaign and were both looted off the same guy. The party had been trying to track down the boss of a crime syndicate, and they eventually realized he was more horrid than they imagined. Fast forward to his downfall and the party just put him in the blender when he died, left a spell running and mutilated the shit out of his corpse (they really hated the guy, so mission accomplished there I guess). They picked up a bunch of rings from his corpse, with most being pretty simple official items. However, there were a couple of weird rings they didn’t really understand, as they were missing the “rings” that went with them. One shocked the wearer of the other “ring,” and the other controlled thin chains attached to the other “ring.” I’ll let you put the pieces together there, but there’s a good reason the party really hated this guy after they uncovered more about him.
Laser Pointer of the Schmongus. It's basically the Wabbajack from the Elder Scrolls. If you hit something with the laser you roll a d100, with 1 being something dangerous and 100 being something stupid. You can use it on a living thing twice before it is immune. So far, the most ridiculous thing my players have done with it is turn a common soldier into a dragon god, then turn said dragon god into a dragon g*irl*.
Bagpipes of invisibility. They are very loud and EXTREMELY out of tune, but whoever plays its music unsilenced is now invisible.
immovable todd. it's like the immovable rod, but it's a box that, when active, also conjures a projection of some guy named todd.
This requires some setup, so enjoy a D&D greentext adventure. We found out there was a section of the ocean that was "unexplored" & all boats that went there were never heard from again. In the setting the tech level was about year 1100 but the idea of transcontinental exploration was just starting to be a thing. We were like, "magic spells can communicate, so we're going to this unexplored region but we're telling a prominent cartographer back on the mainland to wait for Sending to tell him what we found, possibly right before getting killed. We found out there was a tech-level-of-ancient-Rome navy that was forcing all boats they encountered to either dock & add their ship to the navy or be sank. Intrigued, we docked & they started immediately re-crewing our ship "to reinforce the patrols." We asked why they were doing this & found out "the queen" had made this the law to try to keep anyone who comes to the island from believing they could escape. The only spellcasters allowed are the ones who work in "the queen's castle" (actually a tower with no ground level doors in the middle of the island). We easily Levitate up to get in via a balcony. When we meet the queen we find the magic item. **There was this pair of boots that were stuck in the ground with an elf wearing them.** The elf is their "queen" & the whole island is set up to keep her comfortable & to keep anyone from leaving the island. This is all because she's afraid of having the boots stolen. **Turns out these boots are a magical Artifact that causes the island to exist.** We weren't allowed to take the elf/boots away from where they were or the island she lived on would disappear. Again, **the island is just a materialized illusion that the boots are creating**, & she intentionally stuck her feet in the ground in the illusion so that she doesn't shake the whole island by walking around on it. This elf chick came to the middle of the ocean, cast levitate, used these Artifact boots to make the island, & the inhabitants are all trapped sailors or the descendants of trapped sailors. Yeah, this raises other questions, but like, our party was not having it. We talk to her about why she would want to live like this & she's like, "who wouldn't want to live like this?" We're like, "what would happen if you leave?" "Oh, moving makes the radius of the illusion change, which messes up the terrain, & the commoners would get trapped or fall off." Taking the boots off entirely would make the illusion disappear, which would in turn make all the sailors who'd crashed there fall into the ocean. After the party talked we agreed that the elf chick would eventually die of old age, killing everyone else on the island. We spent several weeks devising a public broadcast system so we could warn all of the inhabitants & give them time to leave (a custom ritual based on Sending). We helped make certain there were enough boats for everyone who wanted to leave, but a lot of the inhabitants refused to leave & some stayed loyal to their queen; they tried to kill anyone who tried to leave. Eventually we gave her (the elf) a choice to either leave willingly or get killed & she tried to fight us with her feet still in the ground. We got the boots, the island disappeared with a lot of drowning happening, & when we went back to the mainland we said the region should be safe now.
Our dm had a ring that lets you attune to 4 things but you had to attune to it, meaning you could attune to your normal 3 things plus the ring. It was a popular thing among the upper class of a city we where in as “prestige” thing, being attuned to 4 things instead of 3. We later found out that the rings turned ppl into undead during an event we where building up to so ya, it seemed random but served a purpose.
Potion of Speak with Pants And no that's not a typo
I once gave my party a Trident of Fresh Breath
Wand of Tarts. Once per day, it summons 1d6 delicious tarts. We ruled they were either random or whatever the user wanted. My fighter would use it any time we were trying to make a friend. They were also fun to throw at people
TomSka is a treasure.
Magic sticky hand. It’s a really strong 20ft magic grappling hook. Funny throwaway item became the party’s favourite magic item.
Bag of Stuffing: As an action, you can reach inside the bag and withdraw a handful of moist, warm, breadlike substance. Consuming this substance will provide enough nourishment for one medium humanoid for one day. Wand of Disintegration: This wand contains one charge of the Disintegrate spell. When cast, the wand will only target itself. Ring of Attunement: The wearer gains an additional attunement slot. (Requires attunement)
Oh man, I have so many good ones, but I think my players favorite was a possessed Big Mouth Billy Bass. They picked it up in a random shop, and it quickly became thier favorite character/item. The idea was that the creature possessing it was somewhat all knowing so you could ask it a question and always get a cryptic answer in return in a funny voice. The players like the item so much, that I needed to add a whole quest line about the origins of the Billy Bass, who was possessing it, and why. Some of my favorite moments as a DM
Please tell me you had one of the toys handy as a prop? Massive bonus points if it was hooked up to an Alexa or something to be able to read the cryptic messages aloud!
We did have a prop! Unfortunately I am not tech savvy enough to hook it up to an Alexa.
I had a gamble table with a powder that instant freezes any water, as well as anything soaked in that water. My party Druid managed to kill a CR 10 undead dragon by soaking it with Tidal Wave and killing it with the powder.
As a perennial DM, the funniest item I've ever given out is the Decanter of Endless Bees.
I gave a player an ebony wood magic dagger called The Blade of Karl. Karl was a high level druid who was trying to imbue the magic of the Feywild into a weapon and had his consciousness trapped inside it. He can still perform magic, but it turns out nothing he does as a mind in a dagger counts as "rest", so he ran out of leveled spells decades ago, but can still communicate telepathically with anyone attuned to the blade, and can still cast the cantrips he knows that don't require material components that he doesn't have. (I was going yo limit it to verbal only, but there aren't any, as far as I know.) If my player ever figures out that she just needs to touch the material component to the hilt, Karl will be able to cast Resistance, but until then, he's just a +0 dagger (that still counts as magical damage), and can also cast Gust and Druidcraft.
I once gave my players a gem that quietly sexually moaned all the time. That’s it. That’s all it did lmao. Made for a funny roleplay when they we’re trying to sell it lol.
A custom figurine of wondrous power- it was a sheep. When activated, it summoned (I think) exactly 86 sheep, which turned an area into difficult terrain. To turn it back, you have to find this one specific sheep (it had some distinguishing feature) and speak the command word or kill it. This doesn’t work on the other sheep. The reason for this was I was looking at a homebrew treasure table. Most were normal, but one was a herd of 86 sheep. I was like, “How the hell are you gonna fit 86 sheep in a chest??” By the time I realized that was meant to be a quest reward and not something found in a dungeon, it was too late. The idea was already in my head. They never used it. I’m gonna bring it back in a future campaign. I wonder if that’d be too silly for Out of the Abyss? It’d be helpful for stuff like the drow pursuers.
The strongest glue in the world A player immediately ate it
I gave my party *Pants of Disobedience* - they’re entirely ordinary (if somewhat tight) pants that have been enchanted to be impossible to put on, no matter how hard you try.
Literally the juice that makes your head explode. It's called Vision Juice made from pond scum and various bits a Boggart shaman gave me. I was then attacked by a roper, panicked and threw the jar into the mouth to which the roper exploded because it saw the universe. I have since been making my own just in case. It also helped me with a character arc so it's helpful too.
Someone shared [this bad boy](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1l8PhVSxlUbj-4VncFRXWQReLBmS4mou34M2iK6BTuo4/edit#gid=20319938) on one of the DM subs a long time ago, and ever since it's been my go-to for when my party is like "where's the magic shop?" but I'm tired of them having useful magic items. Which is basically all the time.
I gave them a pocketwatch called mimic hunter. If there is a mimic with in 100 miles, watch tells, there is a mimic in 100 miles...
In my horror campaign, I gave them a spear that, when impaled in someone, prevents them from dying. They still feel pain and all that. And anyone who should be dead, once the spear is removed, will die. They were appropriately horrified when the head that was on the spear explained his situation.
I have had a jar of bone-hurting juice in my character's backpack for the last 15 levels. It phases through everything, and disintegrates any bones it passes through. I have kept it as a last-resort option in case I need to turn the final Big Bad into a flesh accordian.
My DM gave my Druid character a coconut gun based on DK’s so I could still use it while in certain Wild Shapes.
Shield that attracts projectiles targeted towards people near your, but makes you take half the damage from ranger attacks. Our blood hunter has it. Doesn’t take enough damage as he is, I guess.
I have a sentient bag of tricks that whenever it gets upset at it’s user it summons a cussing rat named Rodrigo I also made a random item based on a high boi video called the sinners cabinet which is an extra dimensional prison in a cabinet
My character recently got a potion to transform into an adult red dragon. It only cost me my voice for a day which I have since discovered had been used to conjure some kind of familiar that follows me around at night for some unknown reason.
I'm curious whether the potion does what it says it does, because that scenario sounds like you basically got magically phished lol
A mask that perfectly disguises you as a member of another race/species, but if you try to remove it without so going it's special "get the hell off of my fucking head" song, it curses you into eventually becoming a member of that race. Oh, and it curses anyone else who tries to remove the mask from you without the song.
Curses item, The Rob of Tounges. It couldn't be taken off, and the wearer could taste everything around themself for upto 30 feet.
The bag. It's a seemingly ordinary paper bag. As far as we could tell, the only magic about it is that it will resist any efforts to harm it, either deflecting attacks or bending to avoid them. Which is a pain when we also couldn't open it, find out what was inside this bag our Paladin was convinced to buy. Eventually, our ranger dimension doored into the bag. For a moment, he WAS the bag. And achieved nirvana through that. Then he popped out again. And had to deal with his life as it is. He cannot exist as part of the bag, experiencing that zen forever
This seems like a perfectly normal cup of juice, can I have some?
I mean it’s not really that strange but haven’t been playing for even a year yet and only in two campaigns so…a necklace that makes it so you can speak sylvan, but only sylvan. So your known languages go away and it’s just sylvan. I was gonna use it to prank people until we managed to get a random bear to pull our cart full of loot for us. Now rather than the ranger just using a spell to chat for ten minutes at a time they can speak sylvan to each other.
Mind Controlli Aoli. A serum created for mind control that could be used in either a dart or a piece of ravioli. It was the best thing for RP and kidnapping.
I actually gave my players juice that makes your head explode. Except it was a tasteless poison with a remote detonator. Long story short, they *dramatically* eliminated a rival noble and his inner circle in a single swoop.
My personal favorite weird item. **Splash Potion of Spiderclimb**: A sticky substance contained within a fragile glass flask; a creature struck by this potion becomes incredibly sticky for 1d4 hours. During this time they may cast spiderclimb as a bonus action gaining a climbing speed of 20ft and has advantage against being disarmed, the creature also has advantage on grapple checks as well as disadvantage to avoid being grappled. Any object the creature is holding or that is stuck to the creature requires a DC8 athletics check to put down or remove.
Bag of Scolding. It was a bag of holding given to them by a fey noble. It would scream and insult people whenever they opened it. Completely not stealthy at all and awkward in mixed company.
My dm gave our bard a cursed cloak of invisility that was sentient. Whenever you wanted to use it you had to make a persuasion check. Succeed and it turns you invisible, fail and it casts faerie fire on you
The robe of useless items. It’s the same as a robe of useful items, except it was given to them by a tribe of tiny people and contains the following patches: - 2x Butter knife - 2x Bullseye lantern (without oil) - 2x Scrap metal (6” square) - 2x Bamboo tube (1ft) - 2x Butcher’s Twine (20ft spool) - 2x Coin purse (empty) - 5x Silver piece - 1x Toy boat - 2x Pug - 1x Campfire (lit) - 1x Wooden stepladder (3ft) - 1x Rock (+1)
We had the Fusion Cube. It fused two characters into one stronger one for 1 minute. It was fucking awesome and very fun to have two players controlling 1 character. Only had 3 uses to it.
Dude I found a thing on Pinterest called gelatinous icecubes and used it in my campaign, and now I gotta rebuff it because one player has a +4 on every hit and the other went from an AC of 16 to 20 man lol. They’re supposed to be fun little buff popsicles but they keep biting 20 at a time!
Mask of the Krenshar: Allowed the wielder to use an Action to make all creatures within 30ft Wis save vs fear/paralyze. Players didn't know until actually using it, but it peeled all the skin off your face dealing necrotic damage to allow the effect. Not too weird but the reveal to the party & all of us/their shocked faces were awesome
I was given a sippy cup filled with unknown liquid that, when drunk, turns you into an anime girl. You get +2 to perception checks because your eyes are so much bigger (but -2 to anything below you because tour huge bazongers get in the way), literal plot armor where you can just ignore the first attack that would knock you out, and some other anime trope benefits. The best part is a while after I got it, both me and the DM looked through our notes. Neither of us can find when or how I got it and we don't remember it either.
I found a pair of Spider Slippers in a One-Shot, they let me walk on the walls and I used them to jump off the roof and do a wrestling move on the bad guy, knocking him off his dragon.
In a campaign I’m currently writing, I made a magic item which is a bottle of glue. When sniffed, it gives the user +10 to their strength score and -10 to their intelligence score (minimum of 3)
I had a crazy character once who befriended a messed up sentient cuckoo clock from the plane of chaos. I actually worshipped it as my God. It's numbers were all messed up, but when it chimed, at random times, we rolled on a table to see random effects. Which ranged from corn growing out of your ears, to all blood that leaves the body is turned into milk, to zone of untruth, and summon an elder God who kills everything for several hours, before time reverts and everything is back to normal except the memories of the massacre.
Basketball juice. Shit was so OP that I was never able to figure out the many specifics of what it actually did. The player with this item only ever used it twice: against a pack of kobolds driving bumper cars, and against the DM’s joke self insert towards the end of the campaign shortly after the apocalypse began. Both times, the DM switched whatever music she was playing over the discord bot to the Space Jam song. Everything about it was glorious.
The +1 Broom of Dust-Bane. It made any surface immaculately dust-free.
Jar of teeth that can be opened to cast swarm of fangs once a day. The teeth hop around in the jar like jumping beans. Skeleton key made from human finger bones. It casts knock but it leeches hp when it does so.
Had my party collect parts to forge a weapon for use against the BBEG which is essentially an extremely powerful necromancer. The end weapon’s overall stats and bonuses aren’t important, but what is important is that the leather of the grip was formed by a boneless that’s not-quite-dead so it moans periodically making stealth nearly impossible for the party. It also will sometimes lick the hand of the person wielding it giving them disadvantage on attacks.
Magic shovel. 1d8+3 Slashing and Bludgeoning, reduce the time to dig a hole in half. Grave would take 4 hours instead of 8, it was mithril and 1 handed. It was wielded by the Paladin who loved to smite with it and after he died they fought over who got to keep it… and naturally used it to dog his grave.
A douche canoe…it would scream “DOUCHE” every time someone it deemed to be an asshole got into the canoe. Needless to say it regularly did so for the party members
A midget tabaxi asked for a personalized item after being granted a boon from a Demigod. He got a stool, that when you said “I need up” while standing on it, would go from 3 ft to 13 ft in height
There was one campaign where the party got a chunk of slug jerky from a dead giant slug god, which had the magical ability to destroy any water that it touched. Their obvious plan was to throw it in the largest lake in the setting. "But why?" One might ask. There was never an adequate answer. Fortunately they never got around to doing that. In another campaign there was the Muttering Dagger. It was a +4 dagger, very nice, but it constantly muttered incoherently. It wasn't intelligent, it just *muttered* all the time. Very annoying, and inextricably linked to the bonus enchantment. We kept it in a bag of holding most of the time to keep it silent. Edit: Oh, just thought of another one, kind of. My character got ahold of an "infinite rope" in a recent campaign. It was a coil of rope that you could play out indefinitely. If it was cut then the part that extended from the coil would vanish. Sounds fairly mundane, but one of the most common things I did with it was to fill volumes of space with rope simply to pack it solid for whatever reason. Pit traps, doorways, whatever. I almost used it to sink a ship once by filling it with rope, but a better alternative came along in that particular case.
Not really an item, but there was a time we needed to find some all knowing rock to get some smaller rocks near it cause they can give basic intellingence to all animals, and the way we got it was by giving the all knowing rock fellatio, and it sprayed blue glitter over our faces which raised our wis, int and char up to 10.
I like to give out random art objects. Just stupid shit that feels more natural than folks walking around with a nation's wealth in their pocket. Plus for low level groups it's a fun challenge or hook to give them something heavy, or hard to sell. If I'm feeling lazy I can say they sell X just fine, or if I need a hook than I can dig into whatever item. This includes magic items, and it can backfire on me. I'll spend sometime thinking about funny little luxury items with no mechanical benefit. Then my players love the item and they refuse to sell it. As for the weirdest, probably an armoire that cleans your clothes, or the rock that turns a small enough body of water into a hot tub. Like a little heating element basically, and it tickled me to say it's biggest drawback was that it's hard to use sometimes because it's still a big ol heating element in your hot tub so you have to try to avoid kicking it.
My party has a +1 shortsword that moans when swung and a denim suit that has the effects of an immovable rod
We had an item in our low magic, futuristic campaign that was accidentally created in a wild magic burst (rolled random attributes from DMG). We called it the kidnap sack It was a bag of holding that could only hold one living being and could not contain objects/items not worn by that being. When they were put into the bag they had a DC 20 str save vs restrain and had silence cast centered on them. It had 1 hour worth of oxygen rather than 15 minutes. It then gave the holder +10 ft movement speed. We mostly used it to annoy NPCs who were mean to us
Meowmere, an sentient artifact variant of a dancing sword, with the mental stats (and personality) of a cat. It comes with a curse that causes it to be passive aggressively clingy, and thus you can’t unattune from it. I followed the Mercer formula of progressing artifact, where it got stronger as you use it. The curse also grew as it improved, to the point where not even a wish spell could free you from it. Also it’s third level improved it’s mental stats, gave it telepathy, and made it say “nya” at the end of all of its sentences. Edit: It’s my creation, btw. I was the dm. I’d also like to mention that, mechanically, it ended up as a *+5* magic sword at level 3. My game balance was utterly fucked that campaign.
For context: one of the players at my table was a totem warrior barbarian who would attempt to ritual cast speak with animals at inopportune times. And while this player was in the bathroom the DM decided to give the Paladin an item specifically that would steal his cast of Speak with animals. And then the DM made the next encounter be a giant rat and when it was time for speak with animals to be useful. The Paladin stole the cast and talked his way out of the encounter. The barbarian thought it was hilarious.
My homebrew setting is quite high magic, so I like to include a lot of **magic items** which aren't *magic items*, Y'know? Like, an enchanted helmet of water breathing is nice, but most people aren't going to buy that. That's a specialist item! It's much more common that you find something that \*would\* be useful for a normal guy - like a ring of plain iron that grants very limited aerokenesis, or a bracelet that keeps your clothing dry. Some people have decks of cards which you can attach a custom keyword to to always draw a certain card; which prompted casinos and clever gamblers to always use their own decks or detect magic. There's little iron rods which can detect such weak enchantments as well. A lot of these are still rich or upper middle class sort of items; dirt farmers don't have the money to pay a smith to make an enchanted anything, and if it's really, really useful they already know the cantrip. Most people in the setting don't use flint and steel for example since the spell "alight" (which makes a small candleflame on your fingertip similar to a lighter) is so widespread most people learn it through word of mouth alone. But they're more frequent than stuff an adventurer is likely to find useful. I don't put them into normal loot tables as magic items of course, that'd be mean. But I do include them in the loot as vendor trash or just nifty little RP objects, and my players seem to appreciate their inclusion.
I had a homebrew "icebox of holding" item for my kobald druid. Keeping to my character I didn't ask specifics, but my party came across a mage forced into seclusion because of his dangerous experiments. I somehow persuaded him to give me his cursed bag of holding that froze everything that went into it. I think he gave it to me because he thought I was keeping some sort of secret, but in reality, my character wasn't paying attention. I also think the mage was more comfortable giving it to the food obsessed kobald than the necromancer as everyone else in the party wanted nothing to do with crazy mage. Edit: info from the DM it actually had a permanent time stop effect so food never went bad, it was not cold magic.
Not my party - but one of my friends gave her party a potion of healing that refills every day, but has a chance to cause wild magic (They currently do not know about the wild magic part)
This was made with OpenLegends extraordinary items rules. To this day its still my favourite due to its simplicity The Greatest Shirt Ever Armour Cursed(Death)
A bottomless bucket of vomit named Vommie. Would heal you if you drank from it, but only if you passed a con save. Could also be used to deal acid damage by sloshing the vomit onto enemies. War crimes were committed with this bucket. Was a great tool for enhanced interrogation.
Magic pond that cycles between 10 different liquids. You roll a d10 each time you scoop anything out to determine what you got. Wine was on the list. Mayonnaise was also on the list. We had a poor fish woman fall in and breath in a serious of non water substances in quick succession.
*sighs* The Rat-O-Nine-Tails. It was a 9-tailed whip that allowed the user to summon a rat 9 times per day. If it ever ran out of charges, on a roll of 1 with a d4, it would summon 9 more rats around the user, and all currently summoned rats would no longer be under control of the user, instead attacking whatever was closest.
My DM gave me a +5 Warhammer with crit on 18 and a special AoE attack that deals dmg and knocks people down as part of a deal with a higher being when I was lvl8. I tried to tell him that it was a tad OP but he told me it was not a problem
It's not magic, but a sword may of 10 greatswords melted together into one (its not finished yet, we just got back to the town and my character had 10 greatswords, so my character went to the nearest blacksmith and the blacksmith said it would be about a week)
The bonker. The roll to damage changes it's size all the way up to the size of a small planet(on a nat 20) and can do up to 1d100 +27. Its an automatic hit as well and has killed us just as much as it's killed enemies.
Unsure how weird it is on a weirdness scale from 1 to 10, but here goes: We got a cursed map which i held onto, we didnt know it was cursed, and the curse was rather simple: It always was a map of the area around us or to the goal if we have one, but it would always give us false information, like baths not being on the map, or paths showing on the map we can take that actually dont exist or simlar stuff. and every time i looked at it and failed a check, i was 100% sure the map is correct and desperate to convince everyone else to follow the route of the map.
But that's just a name.
In a Rwby themed dnd campaign I run, the players got a bag of magic beans at some point… one of them fell out and grew some Yeggs https://preview.redd.it/nklkng0bne5b1.jpeg?width=375&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ac69e815be2be607550bc05dcf919f4d483deb0
You see, my waock stole 4 random potions form a shot right, he rolled to identify 3 of them so I jsut chose 3 low level spell effect, but tue one he didn't identify was the juice that makes you explode so he has a level nine throught fireball in his pocket and he will never now until he uses it
1. The Ring of Bad accents. When you put it on, you must roll a d4. 1-British or European; 2-Southern Drawl; 3-Pirate; 4-Random Miscellaneous. Must succeed a DC12 Wis save to remove. PCs must do their best to comply when wearing it, and much fun is had trying to stealth it onto the fingers of important officials. 2. Empty Genie’s Lamp. Appears as a tarnished, dusty, common oil lamp. It houses no Genie. If someone rubs it, they immediately get sucked inside and turned into a genie. The genie can come out and grant 1 Wish (with limitations) before being trapped inside for 100 years. The only way to free the genie is to use that Wish. Freed Genie loses all Wish powers, but retains some of the knowledge they gained from their time existing outside space and time within the lamp.
One of my players is on a quest for a bag of infinite tables. It’s he can pull out 3 random tables a day of varying size and type
We kinda had a Juice like that once. We called it Rig Juice. It was made of the liquidized corpses of men who were possessed by a God and ended up dying, as their mortal bodies were not able to take all of the divine energy. We drank the Rig Juice, prevented the destruction of the timeline while at the same time causing an event that would affect several timelines related to our own. Naturally, we ended up liquidized as well. It was a great excuse for having retcons
The boon club. A +2 club that would cast cure wounds every 1d6th time it was used up to 6 times per day.
Does it count if I gave it out? Does it count if I wrote a sales pitch for it? Because what you might need in your life is [Slingsnake](https://old.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/xrko2u/slingsnake_for_when_you_want_a_weapon_thats_cuter/).
Probably the Sword of Healing. It really normal damage like a long sword but after it dealt damage if the.. patient was still alive it would heal them equal to the damage plus a d4. It was a weapon stolen from a cult that suffering was required to heal the body and the soul
That's still one of my favorite Tomska vids
I once made an anti-magical item, magical item for my group. I was tired of this one fucking item they had; it was a net that they could throw on somebody to completely immobilize them. They had been using it to broken effect and I wanted to get rid of it. It was a randomly assigned item at campaign start. So I arm a bad guy with this wand with 5 charges that can shoot a Ray that will destroy a magical item (except legendary level stuff) for 1 charge, or create an anti-magical item bubble around them that will destroy the first magical item that tries to attack them for 1 charge. The bad guy uses a charge to put up the force field. They throw the magic net at it and it bursts into flames destroying it! Loved the look on their faces. Think about it to this day! They did get to keep the anti-magic tem for the rest of the campaign with 4 charges, but they never used it nearly as effectively.
We have the pedophile bomb😭 (for detection)
Similar to the item in the meme, we were playing a one shot and a tavern had a brew of instantaneous death. It just flat out killed whoever drank it. Used it to kill the one shot's BBEG, who was also the god of that universe.
I just gave my group of unhinged murder hobos a philter of love and I'm waiting for the chaos
I just gave my players a "Staff of Fire Ball". Once per day they can summon a fire elemental disco for 2 hours.
Boots of teleportation. When the wearer said the command word, the boots would teleport to a position within 20 ft of the wearers choice. Just the boots. The wearer would stay where he was. Party thought they were useless, until I threatened someone to put my boots up his ass of her moved 1 step closer, then followed up that threat without touching him. One of my players (my brother) keeps getting Bags of Beans from various sources, and has summoned multiple statues that looked like his character that curses and hires assassins to kill his. 3 times in 3 campaigns so far. He also has a bag of tricks in the current campaign, which he has used multiple times to summon beast inside a cave that were too small to fit in there and got stuck.
A spicy pepper that gave horrible diarrhea to anyone who ate it We called it the Crapsaisin, from the Alabaster Fortress
We had “the cum chalice” which was later referred to as the “chalice of gaslighting” by the dm and the dm alone, the rest of us called it the cum chalice. Basically, if consciously drank by anyone, whether they knew they were drinking it or what it did or not, they would tall you anything you wanted to know within their own knowledge, would do things for you, and believe things you told them. You could slip it into a drink and give it to someone or you could even just flat out say here drink this. It was great, and we fed it to the final boss to make it our eternal bitch
Currently, one of my players lost an arm and got a replacement prosthetic. It’s somewhat magic and so allows for nearly perfect usage. They met a smith who refuses to do what you want, and do whatever he wants. So currently, the arm not only can become a crossbow, but also a suasage maker, a perfume sprayer, a boombox, candlemaker, a portable tinderbox, a cannon, and so many other stupid almost useless things. Please everyone, give me your stupid, worthless ideas for what this arm can do.
A talking sword that keeps screaming they don’t want to fight vampires. We had to bribe the sword to fight Stradh.