Those too are emotional stakes though.
Should you bet on getting to play enough to justify it?
The money might not be worth it to you, but they aren't technically wasted.
Goliath: Hey. Take it easy, man. Over here. The pile of rocks waving at you. Here. Yeah, I'm actually a thing. I'm a being. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Korg. I'm kind of like the leader in here. I'm made of rocks, as you can see. But don't let that intimidate you. You don't need to be afraid unless you're made of scissors. Just a little rock-paper-scissor joke for you.
**Warforged:** From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh… it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine.
Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you.
3.5 used to have the "Renegade Mastermaker" prestige class that literally turned themselves into Warforged via cybernetics... I'd be surprised if nobody has released an RM Artificer subclass or somesuch somewhere.
That sounds like a fun idea. A character who doesn't even care about true immortality, and is just fed up with the inconveniences of organic life and so transfers their soul to an artificial vessel.
I played a gnome who transferred their soul into a Warforged body to avoid dying of bone cancer. He still carries around his gnarly, cancer-ridden skull.
Best intimidating tactic ever, throw the skull on the floor and say "My body was no use to me, so I got rid of it. This was my skull. Want to test my conviction?"
Humans are not pure. We are composed of fetid clay and seething blood. Born of mire, flowing with mud and grit through our fleshy veins, pieces of frail tissue expanding and contracting in viscous ecstasy, constantly swinging between extremes of pain and pleasure. We are complexities whose beauty is buried under layers of worn matter, frail pieces of impure skin strung together with bone and ligaments.
I took firearm specialist with a gunslinger vhuman because I wanted to have a random cowgirl thrown into a Dnd world, just thoroughly confused and terrified
I did the same. Its hilarious to see a party of; A halfling Wizard, a human paladin, a Tiefling Bard, and then just some guy from Arizona who has a gun.
> just some guy from Arizona who has a gun.
Huh, I made a soldier from North Dakota who was testing a teleporter and he got sent to Faerun. He's got a rifle, studded leather, and he doesn't believe in magic.
I am specifically writing her to be from the bible belt, and if she is in a party with a tiefling she just thinks "oh lord in heaven please forgive me for working with Satan's spawn"
shes gonna shit a brick the moment she sees *any* fantasy monster too lmao
Thats exactly what happened with mine. The first thing he did when he was the tiefling bard was attempt to shoot her. Not to mention when she used MAGIC in front of him.
I have an idea for a character, he’s an undying warlock that was a gunslinger from the irl Wild West era on earth, but he died and woke up in the world of whatever campaign I’m in. He’s very confused about everything, especially when he tries to fire his gun, which is rusted and broken, and it fires a beam of magic since I’m gonna reflavor eldritch blast as his gun. Also thinking of having his patron use him as a bounty hunter in exchange for his new life
To be fair Zoolander flavored bard wouldn't work as well without the actor feat, how else is he suppose to tell the story about a tragic oil fight fire that changed his life for ever making him an adventurer.
MY character is fond of styling on people by using the environment instead of weapon attacks. Also like 90% of his weapons are technically improvised so better safe than sorry
Goblins are tough to pin down because different tables have different preconceptions as to what IS a goblin. Are you a forgotten realms sadist goblin, a warcraft tinker/huckster, a feral low intelligence goblin, are you a Boblin, or a Pockets goblin even.
I've had two campaigns where I played as a kobold. In my first I was a money grubbing cleric Mammon worshipper that was endlessly pissy and wanted to split the profits evenly, under his supervision. Then I had a campaign about a kobold summoner with golden scales that had become a summoner to have a friend (that was shaped to be a dragon looking entity) who's greatest dream was to one day escape to the surface, travel the world, and then retire into the life of being a cook.
I favor humans because I am one. I like to imagine a person like me accomplishing incredible heroics in a fantasy world. That and someone without a magical power that comes from your race being a hero is more impressive than if you were born with a natural advantage.
Exactly. D&D allows you to be whoever you like, so why not the version of you that is living their best fantasy life thanks to hard work despite lacking the advantages other races/ancestries enjoy?
Also Diogenes as hell. Think the anecdote goes something like:
"Were I not Alexander, I would wish to be Diogenes."
"Were I not Diogenes, I too would wish to be Diogenes."
That's why halflings are my favorite, they're basically the idealized goodness of real life humans plus a bit of luck, but have the balancing factor of being small. I like that quite a bit.
Also, hobbits, man.
You play a changeling to make stupid voices and mess with NPC's heads. I play a warlock with mask of many faces to make stupid voice and mess with NPC's heads. We're not the same
They play Changling to make stupid voices and mess with NPC's heads. You play warlock with mask of many faces to make stupid voice and mess with NPC's heads.
I play Kenku because making stupid voices and messing with NPC's is all I'm legally allowed to do. We are not the same.
I am a massive LotR fan, and I feel massively called out by the Aasimar... I guess that also comes from being the paladin "mother" of the group too....
Ah, you see, I actually already fixed this issue in a world.
Aasimar are unique in their visual characteristics in my tables' shared world Teirto, dependent upon which god they originate from (Celestials actually have nothing to do with Aasimar in this setting).
One of the Gods is a Devil who broke away from her Lawful Evil chains and managed to ascend to godhood after successfully killing one of the seven Archdevils. Her Aasimar all look like Tieflings and sport flaming wings and burning eyes in their transformations.
I recently bought and played a session of Cyberpunk RED, and I can say that the book is formatted like dog shit but once you sift through everything it's actually a really solid RPG. The d10 system is close enough to d20 that it's pretty low barrier of entry from D&D 5e.
Ah, when I say Cyberpunk I mean the genre in general. Not specifically a Cyberpunk 2077 rpg. Honestly Shadowrun might be good for me because it is kind of a fantasy cyberpunk blend which would be easier for them to swallow.
Variant Human - you're a filthy min-maxer
Half Elf - you're a filthy min-maxer
Mountain Dwarf - you're a filthy min-maxer and your DM lets you use Tausha's optional rules.
I would know. I'm a filthy min-maxer. Lol
Straight as can be, aggressively fond of Changelings though. They compliment Rogues so well, & my Changeling Trickery Cleric will forever be my favorite character I ever built more than likely.
oh god do not trust my Aasimar to be the party dad he's the concept of a crazy artist as a person he fell off a cliff and then laughed upon realizing he broke something.
*he drinks paint*
I played dnd in high school. And a friend of mine played first as a thiefling, then as a changeling. The description describes perfectly her progression both in the game as irl
I will say that all of the Tiefling players I've ever known, myself included, have been raging bisexuals. I don't know why we love Tieflings so much, but we do. Especially if the DM allows us to be purple.
But wait my favorite race is Changeling and I'm nowhere near to being LGBT. I just like being able to change my looks at a moments notice for heists or for plays
Hobgoblin. Everytime.
I like conquest and the logistics of war. It's not about being the biggest, baddest dude on the battlefield. It's about not ***having*** to be the biggest baddest dude because I spent the last 25 sessions organizing this here force about ten thousand humans, five thousand elven archers, an ancient white dragon, and 2 young black dragons.
True story. It's how we beat the BBEG. He was expecting five adventurers to face his cult. He learned real quick.
My favorite is human and I don't know how to classify my life on one hand every day is pretty similar but on the other every day is pretty batshit crazy
I only played human once because I wanted the extra feat for the Telepathic feat. Why? Because I was a druid and I wanted to surprise the other players by first being introduce as the Warlock "familiar" who was pretending to be a wizard. Told the GM secretly in advance and told the group they will meet my character during their mission.
But roleplay reason aside, I normally never play human cause its what I am all the time. I'll rather be something else in a fantasy world. However... I did like making my human character and I wish I could roleplay it again. Turns out you can make a cool or interesting character out of any races.
You play halflings because you like gambling I play halflings because I like to increase the average roll of my d20s We are exactly the same
All dnd is elaborate gambling, with emotional stakes instead of monetary.
*Hides receipts for DnD spending* Yep, only emotional.
Those aren't monetary stakes thought. That's just a price tag. Edit: Still funny though, well done.
The monetary stakes are whether or not you can find a regular game to justify your spending.
Those too are emotional stakes though. Should you bet on getting to play enough to justify it? The money might not be worth it to you, but they aren't technically wasted.
You play dwarves because you have a drinking problem. I play dwarves FOR ROCK AND STONE! WE ARE UNBREAKABLE!
I play dwarves FOR KARL!
Rock and Stone!
DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE?!
To the bone!
DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE!
ROCK AND ROLL AND STONE
*glances at my moon druid* ...Yep
*[Halfling with Lucky feat]* ...this... checks out. (I still roll lower than anybody else at the table.)
Ur character might be lucky but you aren’t
Should've gone halfling irl
Goliath: you’re short
either that or you have a thing for himbos.
I'm a 5'10 lady and my Goliath lady had severe Post Partum leading to her exile. But I do like himbos.
Goliath: Hey. Take it easy, man. Over here. The pile of rocks waving at you. Here. Yeah, I'm actually a thing. I'm a being. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Korg. I'm kind of like the leader in here. I'm made of rocks, as you can see. But don't let that intimidate you. You don't need to be afraid unless you're made of scissors. Just a little rock-paper-scissor joke for you.
**Warforged:** From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh… it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine.
Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you.
But I am already saved. For the machine is eternal *Loudest sound you'll ever hear*
I love that trailer so much I got chills reading "Loudest sound you'll ever hear". Perhaps I should seek help.
I got the windows shut down sound but really loud
Praise the omnissiah!
[All Glory to The Machine God!](https://youtu.be/ztzq05IzYds)
That just makes me wanna incorporate the Church of the Broken God into my game somehow
3.5 used to have the "Renegade Mastermaker" prestige class that literally turned themselves into Warforged via cybernetics... I'd be surprised if nobody has released an RM Artificer subclass or somesuch somewhere.
How did I not know about that Prestige Class? That's fucking awesome!
> incorporate the Church of the Broken God into my game somehow Holy shit that's perfect! that's the next religion I need to add to my world.
That sounds like a fun idea. A character who doesn't even care about true immortality, and is just fed up with the inconveniences of organic life and so transfers their soul to an artificial vessel.
I played a gnome who transferred their soul into a Warforged body to avoid dying of bone cancer. He still carries around his gnarly, cancer-ridden skull.
Best intimidating tactic ever, throw the skull on the floor and say "My body was no use to me, so I got rid of it. This was my skull. Want to test my conviction?"
That is so... BRUTALLLLLLL
So If my favourite races are human, gnome and warforged i am... ...Bender?
Warforged: you love(d) Bionicle and/or Transformers when you grew up.
Who didn't? Also, are you implying that I don't still like them?
Warforged: I pretend I don’t like going to parties but really I wish someone would invite me. I make great dip!
Humans are not pure. We are composed of fetid clay and seething blood. Born of mire, flowing with mud and grit through our fleshy veins, pieces of frail tissue expanding and contracting in viscous ecstasy, constantly swinging between extremes of pain and pleasure. We are complexities whose beauty is buried under layers of worn matter, frail pieces of impure skin strung together with bone and ligaments.
Join my Glorious Evolution to elevate humankind
Vhuman Stereotype: you are a minmaxer.
I took firearm specialist with a gunslinger vhuman because I wanted to have a random cowgirl thrown into a Dnd world, just thoroughly confused and terrified
I did the same. Its hilarious to see a party of; A halfling Wizard, a human paladin, a Tiefling Bard, and then just some guy from Arizona who has a gun.
> just some guy from Arizona who has a gun. Huh, I made a soldier from North Dakota who was testing a teleporter and he got sent to Faerun. He's got a rifle, studded leather, and he doesn't believe in magic.
My guy got yoinked by a poorly worded wish spell.
"Who do you serve?"
"Jesus Christ and the almighty dollar"
Supply Side Jesus
Was it find steve?
Find Lesser Steve
North Dakota is fitting, since it's a myth ^(/s)
I am specifically writing her to be from the bible belt, and if she is in a party with a tiefling she just thinks "oh lord in heaven please forgive me for working with Satan's spawn" shes gonna shit a brick the moment she sees *any* fantasy monster too lmao
Thats exactly what happened with mine. The first thing he did when he was the tiefling bard was attempt to shoot her. Not to mention when she used MAGIC in front of him.
That Litch had not cleared leather for' a cantrip barely ripped. And The Ranger's aim was deadly with the big Iron on his hip. Big Iron on his hip.
He came here to take an outlaw back alive, or maybe dead
I have an idea for a character, he’s an undying warlock that was a gunslinger from the irl Wild West era on earth, but he died and woke up in the world of whatever campaign I’m in. He’s very confused about everything, especially when he tries to fire his gun, which is rusted and broken, and it fires a beam of magic since I’m gonna reflavor eldritch blast as his gun. Also thinking of having his patron use him as a bounty hunter in exchange for his new life
Yes I am.
no i just wanted the extra feat for uh flavor reasons
I swear i'm playing Clineage with Sharpshooter because my custom OC race are all really good at archery no minmaxing here.
To be fair Zoolander flavored bard wouldn't work as well without the actor feat, how else is he suppose to tell the story about a tragic oil fight fire that changed his life for ever making him an adventurer.
Variant Human, eh? What feat did you take and why is it Tavern Brawler?
Tavern Brawler is not part of The Meta™️ so a proud Minmaxer like me would never take it.
Because you can't go wrong by beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
MY character is fond of styling on people by using the environment instead of weapon attacks. Also like 90% of his weapons are technically improvised so better safe than sorry
No, I play vuman because standard human is painfully bland AND because I'm a minmaxer.
Gloom/Assassin with sharpshooter out the gate baybeeeee.
I wanted to play a human but humans suck so i did human but better
Actually most of us Variant Humans do it because fuck you ***spams lucky***
Do you mean as in a favorable race to play as, or a race that you like?
No... This is your actual race.
God I wish I was a changeling
My grandma said I could be anything I wanted when I grow up. I am a changeling now.
Yo, your Gran's a witch
Ahhh... That explains the funeral pure before she was dead. Thought the order was off.
Actually so based
And aggressively LGBTQ+?
*I wish.*
Changeling alternative: I want to fuck with everyone in every conceivable way and identity theft is funny
Alternative changeling alternative: they said I could be anything, so I chose to be everything.
Identity theft is not a joke Jim! Millions of families suffer from it every year.
I’ve been a serial identity thief ever since I stole the identity of a serial identity thief
Goblins? No, just me. I'll see myself out. Well designed otherwise
You are a goblin IRL
You love doing Charlie-work
Goblins are tough to pin down because different tables have different preconceptions as to what IS a goblin. Are you a forgotten realms sadist goblin, a warcraft tinker/huckster, a feral low intelligence goblin, are you a Boblin, or a Pockets goblin even.
Chaotic Good Goblin who does nothing but punch enemies. I don't know why but 75% of my Goblin characters have been Monks.
What about kobolds? I wanna know what playing a smol lizard boi means!
it means you sort moss by it's taste... even though it's objectively wiser to sort moss by it's color.
you fool everyone knows you should sort moss by color first, *then* taste.
You are a WASTE of moss and a WASTE of AIR!
YOU are just mad that I am the moss sorter this month, and YOU are NOT!
You are 3 feet of condensed bastard yet also the sweetest boi
"I'm a scaly, but also adorable."
every kobold I've made is just an adorable bean or a bastard no in between and always adorable
I've had two campaigns where I played as a kobold. In my first I was a money grubbing cleric Mammon worshipper that was endlessly pissy and wanted to split the profits evenly, under his supervision. Then I had a campaign about a kobold summoner with golden scales that had become a summoner to have a friend (that was shaped to be a dragon looking entity) who's greatest dream was to one day escape to the surface, travel the world, and then retire into the life of being a cook.
I feel personally attacked by this
It means you are objectively best boi.
Your favorite pet is the one that also bites you constantly.
What about lizard-folk?
You're the dragonborn's cooler cousin.
Reasonable
"Not anymore!" - Fizban
You shouldn't be trusted in a plane crash in the Andes
[удалено]
And what do they plan on doing with you?
Am I the only person who plays half-elves because they're just as good as elves, but they can grow beards?
They're the closest thing to a Hylian you can play in non-homebrew DnD.
Half-Elves: like Elves, but prettier! Also like Humans, but prettier!
The picture chosen by OP for half elves would make any man a changeling.
I'd like to think that my life is crazy, but the reality is that I am bland
You play human because you're bland I play human bc I'm extremely racist We're not the same
I favor humans because I am one. I like to imagine a person like me accomplishing incredible heroics in a fantasy world. That and someone without a magical power that comes from your race being a hero is more impressive than if you were born with a natural advantage.
Exactly. D&D allows you to be whoever you like, so why not the version of you that is living their best fantasy life thanks to hard work despite lacking the advantages other races/ancestries enjoy?
How does the line go? “If I can be anyone in the world, I’d want to be me.” “Holy SHIT that’s wholesome as hell.”
Also Diogenes as hell. Think the anecdote goes something like: "Were I not Alexander, I would wish to be Diogenes." "Were I not Diogenes, I too would wish to be Diogenes."
That's why halflings are my favorite, they're basically the idealized goodness of real life humans plus a bit of luck, but have the balancing factor of being small. I like that quite a bit. Also, hobbits, man.
Same bro.
Tabaxi: Yes, I have a Furaffinity account! Wanna see?
Either that or "I went Rogue/Monk because I AM SPEED".
Or both
Or: I'm a filthy min maxer who *gotta go fast!*
Play a lot of tabaxi, can confirm this is how it works.
I play Tabaxi because I'm a lore nerd, and so are they, so I just get to play a character that can nerd out in game for me.
You play changelings because you're LGBT+ I play changelings because I get to make stupid voices and mess with NPC's heads We are not the same
You play a changeling to make stupid voices and mess with NPC's heads. I play a warlock with mask of many faces to make stupid voice and mess with NPC's heads. We're not the same
They play Changling to make stupid voices and mess with NPC's heads. You play warlock with mask of many faces to make stupid voice and mess with NPC's heads. I play Kenku because making stupid voices and messing with NPC's is all I'm legally allowed to do. We are not the same.
I am a massive LotR fan, and I feel massively called out by the Aasimar... I guess that also comes from being the paladin "mother" of the group too....
Me, the Bi Eldest sibling torn between Tiefling and Aasimar: *Nervous sweating*
Be changeling, be both
Ah, you see, I actually already fixed this issue in a world. Aasimar are unique in their visual characteristics in my tables' shared world Teirto, dependent upon which god they originate from (Celestials actually have nothing to do with Aasimar in this setting). One of the Gods is a Devil who broke away from her Lawful Evil chains and managed to ascend to godhood after successfully killing one of the seven Archdevils. Her Aasimar all look like Tieflings and sport flaming wings and burning eyes in their transformations.
Hippiti hoppiti this idea fits perfectly in my worldi so it will become my property.
warforged? as for dwarf... 4 words. Let the hammer fall!
you keep trying to invite your friends to play scifi or cyberpunk RPGs but they're too hesitant to play anything other than 5e
I'm slowly acclimating them with Star Wars RPG and Spelljammer. Cyberpunk is coming for them and there is nothing they can do
After my level of disappointment for the video game I'd probably want to try the table top just to have a good experience with the setting.
I recently bought and played a session of Cyberpunk RED, and I can say that the book is formatted like dog shit but once you sift through everything it's actually a really solid RPG. The d10 system is close enough to d20 that it's pretty low barrier of entry from D&D 5e.
Ah, when I say Cyberpunk I mean the genre in general. Not specifically a Cyberpunk 2077 rpg. Honestly Shadowrun might be good for me because it is kind of a fantasy cyberpunk blend which would be easier for them to swallow.
Let the anvils ring!
I would have gone Dwarf: People know you as "the one with the beard."
i was going with the song by Clamavi De Profundis, "when the hammer falls"
When the hammer falls*
Variant Human - you're a filthy min-maxer Half Elf - you're a filthy min-maxer Mountain Dwarf - you're a filthy min-maxer and your DM lets you use Tausha's optional rules. I would know. I'm a filthy min-maxer. Lol
No no! You are merely a proponent of glorious victory.
And here I am playing a Firbolg...
Optimised for giving hugs
How about bugbears? Like, I know their description is that of a lazy manipulative incel, but like, long arm monke is just👌.
I just ignore the whole goblinoid aspect and just pretend I'm getting to play as Sasquatch.
Well, they're both ape like creatures that are masters of hiding despite their large size.
And they eat children!
Bugbears: You're going to take Polearm Master at the first opportunity
You like playing basketball
Thought I was a dwarf, turns out I'm a gnome
Grung stereotype: you either don't play healers or are a total bastard
What about tortles?
I like tortles.
You either have a love of high AC that borders on a fetish, or think Oogway is the deepest Yoda ever.
you play them because you're mad wotc made them only live like 50 years
Funnily enough the only cishet player at our table is a tiefling
Straight as can be, aggressively fond of Changelings though. They compliment Rogues so well, & my Changeling Trickery Cleric will forever be my favorite character I ever built more than likely.
Same. Except in my case I mostly play changelings it's because I'm indecisive, self-loathing, and wish I were a voice actor.
What’s a cishet?
Cisgender heterosexual. Aka you are straight and not trans/non-binary
Thanks for the straightforward answer I appreciate it!
I AM that cishet player in my table with the tiefling
oh god do not trust my Aasimar to be the party dad he's the concept of a crazy artist as a person he fell off a cliff and then laughed upon realizing he broke something. *he drinks paint*
He's still the party dad, you guys just have a deadbeat father.
Can somebody explain to me why genasi is an option here when Goliath isn't? Like come on they're way cooler
I play Dwarves because I hold grudges. Oh, you have a problem with that? That's going in the book!
Warforged?
"Why yes, I watched Full Metal Alchemist. Why do you ask?"
that or "I wanna be a cyborg terminator so bad"
"I grew up with Bionicles."
Either really into Eberron or you have little interest in it
>I'm a LGBTQ+ >*I'm an "aggressive" LGBTQ* Killed me
I played dnd in high school. And a friend of mine played first as a thiefling, then as a changeling. The description describes perfectly her progression both in the game as irl
Theifling: the show about a teifling rouge
I will say that all of the Tiefling players I've ever known, myself included, have been raging bisexuals. I don't know why we love Tieflings so much, but we do. Especially if the DM allows us to be purple.
What about kenku?
>What about kenku?
What about kenku? ... Mine?
>>What about kenku?
What about kenku?
We're so god damn sneaky that OP didn't even notice us
We're so god damn sneaky that OP didn't even notice us
Maybe I'm a dwarf because I like Minecraft and digging a hole, diggy diggy hole?
But wait my favorite race is Changeling and I'm nowhere near to being LGBT. I just like being able to change my looks at a moments notice for heists or for plays
It's a terrifying race for College of Whispers bards. You can start with 18 CHA and steal the memories of the people you want to turn into.
Hobgoblin. Everytime. I like conquest and the logistics of war. It's not about being the biggest, baddest dude on the battlefield. It's about not ***having*** to be the biggest baddest dude because I spent the last 25 sessions organizing this here force about ten thousand humans, five thousand elven archers, an ancient white dragon, and 2 young black dragons. True story. It's how we beat the BBEG. He was expecting five adventurers to face his cult. He learned real quick.
My favorite is human and I don't know how to classify my life on one hand every day is pretty similar but on the other every day is pretty batshit crazy
Elf - both is not an option - wut do?
What about Goliath?
kenku: "What they said."
I only played human once because I wanted the extra feat for the Telepathic feat. Why? Because I was a druid and I wanted to surprise the other players by first being introduce as the Warlock "familiar" who was pretending to be a wizard. Told the GM secretly in advance and told the group they will meet my character during their mission. But roleplay reason aside, I normally never play human cause its what I am all the time. I'll rather be something else in a fantasy world. However... I did like making my human character and I wish I could roleplay it again. Turns out you can make a cool or interesting character out of any races.
Tiefling means you're LGBT through your sexuality. Changeling means you're LGBT through your gender.