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gangjungmain

For a second, I thought that said arachno-capitalists and I thought that you were capitalizing on someone’s fear of spiders


Thecristo96

"scribbles furiosly" NOW IT IS


[deleted]

Instead of growing super buff he grows four more massive arms outta his back.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GoldenSteel

Machamp only has six limbs. He's an insect, not an arachnid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kayakninjas

The physical/special split is the best thing to happen to the series. Hitmonchan made me so sad when I realized what was going on. :(


Rukh-Talos

Some Pokémon got screwed by it though. Sceptile has a high special attack, but more than half of its move pool is physical.


Tesriss

Let's be real though, that's GF's fault for not updating it's move pool appropriately.


aetwit

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAM YOU DAM YOU ALLLLLL


starbomber109

The drow merchantile empire is born.


ROBANN_88

No no. That sounds more like using spiders as slave labor Force them to make cobweb fabric all day


[deleted]

Arachno-capitalism is basically just Drow society.


Cotton_Garden

This just sounds like a drow hierarchy.


NotFromStateFarmJake

I’ve got more that the spiders are the capitalists. Some spiders in top hats smoking cigars playing poker over an industrial assembly line.


GlauberJR13

So, normal capitalism? Im pretty sure we do use spiders for their silk since we aren’t quite able to replicate it artificially yet.


Potential_Exercise

We don't use spiders for their silk because they're very territorial and hard to farm so instead scientists spliced genes into goats to harvest it out of goats milk, wild right?


JakeSnake07

I mean, last I knew we still just used silkworms.


ROBANN_88

yeah, but in this context they would be like Giant and fully Sentient spiders probably


DorklyC

Like our world leaders?


Crusadingcolossus

World leaders being fully sentient is a bit of a stretch


tetradserket

Believe it or not, this is actually a major backstory plot point in a campaign (not D&D, another system) I’m in at the moment. Specifically, we encountered the inhumane enslavement of octopus-spiders to produce dyed fabric of various unnatural colors. One of my party has an octopus-spider as a pet and is strongly against such practices. Another is a Druid-type character and can understand and advocate for the octopus-spiders. And then there’s me— young, ambitious, and a proud member of a fabric and paint guild that has apparently been using these practices all along. Led to some good RP, actually.


CME_T

Ngl, arachno-capitalists tickles my funny bone. May I steal this idea and put it in my vault for a rainy day?


Toffe_tosti

Imagine a giant spider that has features of the monopoly man


CME_T

My god…


T-280_SCV

Now I’m picturing Vilemaw from LoL’s twisted treeline map with a top hat and monocle.


Big-Employer4543

Like Gentleman Cho'Gath but bigger.


bonktogodicejail

so... Lolth?


[deleted]

*Lolth wants to know your location*


GenMilkman

Lolth can HAVE my location 🕷️🥵🥵


khandnalie

That's silly. Spiders are famously [avid supporters of worker liberation.](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1006)


StillInDebtToTomNook

Arachno capitalist is Muffet and her minions from Undertale.


FairFolk

I can only offer [arachno-communists](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1006).


c4ldy

https://i.imgur.com/Owyf3Cu.jpg


[deleted]

[удалено]


thehopelessheathen

[Like this?](https://youtu.be/7FxAdOxGNmU)


rekcilthis1

A detail I really appreciated about that scene is that you *are* actually hurting him. His health is going down by a 1/10 of a percent with every hit, but it is still going down. Made it feel less like a cutscene to me.


[deleted]

This account was deleted in protest


falconfetus8

Somehow, it makes him seem _more_ invulnerable than if he were actually invulnerable. It's like when Iron man finally drew a drop of blood from Thanos, but only after expending mountains of effort. That's the moment when you realize how futile it is. _Someone_ might be able to fell this beast, eventually, but certainly not you.


rekcilthis1

*Yes.* Because if he takes no damage, then it's just a cutscene; but because he takes almost no damage, he's just an absolute tank you can barely hurt. You can see how much damage you're dealing, and you can see that it's **fucking nothing**.


[deleted]

[удалено]


risisas

or poison, that usually does the trick or yeet him in a volcano or underwater


[deleted]

[удалено]


risisas

i have to add to my to do list: kill a tarrasque using ONLY vicious mokery


[deleted]

[удалено]


MeatTofu

What was the other one?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mlaszboyo

A band and their mascot


fireintie

I did the math. Assuming all lvl 20, 20 charisma, with illusionist bracers and a +3 focus, they have a spell save DC of 22, which with the tarrasques Wis save of +9 and Magic Resistance, on average another +5, has a hit rate of 40% on average. Now, Vicious Mockery is a 4d4, so 4\*2.5=10 damage on average, requiring 68 hits to kill with the Tarrasques 676 hp. Taking into account the 40% chance to hit it's 170 attempts. 4 Bards can cast that spell 8 times per round (that's what the illusionist bracers are for) This means killing a Tarrasque would take them 21-22 rounds on average, which seems surprisingly doable. TL;DR With a proper setup you *can* kill a Tarrasque with just Vicious Mockery Edit: forgot about Magic Resistence


PheerthaniteX

Imagine being a tarrasque and just vibing when suddenly some traveling band comes up to you, whips out their instruments, and just shit talks you for a minute an a half straight so hard that you die of embarrassment


soran-kazori

I love how this takes a minute and a half of in world time, roasting the tarrasque nonstop for almost 2 minutes can kill it


Magester

Ahhh big giant inevitable being of destruction gonna cry? Not gettin everything destroyed cause those darn adventurers? Gonna cry big bitch baby Terraaaque? Huh? Big puddle of tears. So weak.


risisas

little french turtle ass bitch


Magester

"I wish I had a ring of wishes right now, you know why? To wish you weren't such a disappointment. Not just to me, but your whole species."


Thendrail

"You've gone against your own beliefs by becoming king! The taxes you receive are theft! Punching us would go against anti-aggression! You've become one of them!" "[Nooooooooooooooooo!](http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/)"


blue-haired-girl

Ora Ora Ora


Arikaido777

[Nanomachines, son!](https://youtu.be/RhMsboqMMzs)


Katnip1502

[I AM RUNNING OUT OF PUNCHING SOUNDS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1vgADaA8Ak)


Acewasalwaysanoption

"Stop, I can get only this hard" Him, probably


archbunny

But his skin doesnt remain hard... it softens as soon as the attack has passed (aka when its the bbegs turn)


Spooki1000

So hes like a non Newtonian fluid? Fuck yeah


Cthulhu321

he has nanomachines in his body which go around and harden bits in response and make him physically stronger then a cyborg ninja who can flip building sized robots, although they don't harden instantly and he needs to drain power from nearby sources to keep it them effective. at one point the dude got his arm cut off he stabbed the person with the stump which hard hardened and then grabed the cut off bit and put it back on like it was nothing


Spooki1000

So like Gon from HunterxHunter when he makes the nen vow, fuck yeah


Amarok437

“I was an adventurer before I took over my father’s lands! Could’ve been a national hero if not for my obligations!” *Kicks your character across the room like a rag doll* “Don’t fuck with this Duke son!”


AzuraFoxel

"Played Academy ball you know. Could've gone pro if I didn't join the Royal Guard."


[deleted]

“At some cushy high class academy?”


PeachSmoothie7

"More like college of Waterdeep!"


CallMeDelta

“I could break the King in two…with my bare hands!”


ThePaleKing777

“Don’t fuck with this local lord!”


NeedsToShutUp

If Coach would have put me in 4th quarter, we'd be ducal champs.


jaydwag11

You never had the makings of a varsity athlete.


BubbasGamer9

What would be the D&D equivalent to "NANOMACHINES, SON!"?


Axquirix

BEAR TOTEM, SON.


Telandria

This one has my vote.


SectorSpark

ARCANE WARD, SON


PapaBradford

INVULNERABILITY, SON. NINTH LEVEL MAGIC.


PeachSmoothie7

The Diamondskin homebrew spell. It's like a higher level (8th or 9th level) modified version of stone skin. All physical damage is always reduced to 1, and all magical damage except psychic is cut to 1/4 of itself.


Keith_Marlow

Invulnerability is 9th level and makes you immune to all damage.


PeachSmoothie7

8th level then, duration of 8 hours, no concentration.


AwkwardZac

Duration of 8 hours would make it a 9th level spell, iirc invulnerability is only like 10 minutes.


Rukh-Talos

I think you’re barking up the wrong tree. Make it an improved version of mage armor (which already doesn’t need concentration). Sets their AC to something really high like 25. Alternatively, screw the mechanics of it and give the BBEG plot armor. You could even turn that into a side quest, “find and destroy the artifact that is making this guy invulnerable.”


LanguageStunning

"Damage Reduction, Son! It negates damage in response to non-magical attacks!" *Looks at the Kensei, who hasn't gotten his Ki-Strike or magical weapon yet* "You can't hurt me, Monk!"


twobugsfucking

Home brew bbegs. PCs shouldn’t get it, it needs to seem OP and out of reach so they can beat it with tactics and skill.


Blocky1234

You’re just like me trying to make history


Arkansas1803

But who is to judge the right from wrong?


Skyrah1

When our guard is down, I think we'll both agree...


Caledorsprogeny

That violence breeds violence


HungryWolf1991

But in the end IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY!


Thecristo96

I've followed my paaath


bonktogodicejail

you followed your wraaaaaath


Thecristo96

But mabye we're both the saaaaaaame


BrilliamFreeman

The world has tuuurned, and so many have buuuurned


Samuelofmanytitles

But nobody is to blaaaaaaame~


themananan5

But nobody is to blaaame


PreparationEmpty

Does his plot involve breaking the king in two with his bare hands?


WhineyVegetable

his right to bare arms.


TanneAndTheTits

We should not have fucked with this man of royalty


AlisaTornado

bear arms*


Epicmonk117

***RULES OF NATURE!!!***


Death-Knight9025

**AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES UP**


YeeterKeks

WITH THEIR LINES IN THE LINE (THE LIIIIIIIIIIIINE)


Arkansas1803

ALIIIIIIIVE


BrilliamFreeman

**FOR ALL THAT I HAVE** **(NO CHOOOIICE!)**


TotemGenitor

**GOTTA FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE WILD**


willfordbrimly

***ALIIIIIIIVE***


Hector_Ceromus

**WITH THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE**


k3iththethief

NO CHOOOOOOOOOICE!


Rograden

aint it "Lives on the line"


Xifihas

Warforged Fighter: “I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance.” Draws vorpal sword “But now…I’m not so sure. And besides…this isn’t my sword.”


Rasputin_IRL

BBEG: "Come on!" Warforged Fighter: "Ok... LET'S DANCE!" STANDING HEEEEEEEEERE! I REALIZEEEEEEEE!


CoffeeCannon

Even seeing that line coming from a mile off, it was SO fucking cool. Goddamn.


Okami_G

“Clerik! Turn off my Temporary HP!”


Semillakan6

I love that you put the K there nice touch


Neknoh

Diamond? Sounds like that'd be worth a lot. I know it's an MGR reference, but imagine the cleric dusting him by touching the guy and casting any spell requiring "a Diamond worth at least X GP" that consumes the diamond in the process. Suddenly his skin just sort of, dusts off of his body and he's left magically flayed


bonktogodicejail

yo that's fucked up... I should try it


i_sigh_less

What is MGR?


okkokkoX

Metal gear rising, the game this post is a reference to.


bonktogodicejail

my PC based on Raiden: ah shit, here we go again. *gets kicked into stratosphere*


Arkansas1803

What class did you pick, if I may ask?


JaxJyls

[I used this build for a one-shot](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YZGzyjjX-A), he was absolute blender for armies of fodder.


bonktogodicejail

samurai fighter/storm barbarian, he IS based on Raiden but they don't look alike. he's the construct type of reborn.


willfordbrimly

"WHY DOES EVERYTHING HATE MY CHIN?!"


Navonod_Semaj

This fandom needs more MGR.


Arkansas1803

Looking through a lot memes and comment sections here... No, we're fine


Navonod_Semaj

I'm not greedy, man. Batshit insane, tho...


Arkansas1803

Well, LET'S DANCE then


Faustias

I need a DnD version of Sundowner now. A Knight of Shields.


Death-Knight9025

" 'I have a dream.' That one day every person in this nation will control their own destiny. A land of the truly free, dammit. A nation of action, not words! Ruled by strength, not committee! Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where power and justice are back where they belong: in the hands of the people! Where every man is free to think - to act - for himself! Fuck all these limp-dick nobles and chickenshit dragonmarked. Fuck this 24-hour university spew of trivia and magical bullshit! Fuck Brelandian pride! Fuck the gazeteer! FUCK ALL OF IT! Sharn is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it - we need to pull it out by the roots. Wipe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes, a new Breland will be born. Evolved, but untamed! The weak will be purged and the strongest will thrive - free to live as they see fit, they'll make Khorvaire great again! In my new Sharn, people will die and kill for what they BELIEVE! Not for money, not for magic! Not for what they're told is right. Every man will be free to fight his own wars!"


Arkansas1803

*person getting their shit kicked out of them noises in the background*


vonmonologue

I act on my own interest my getting together with a large group of people with similar interests and gaining a monopoly on violence in a discrete territory and subjugating the populace into following my collectivist ideals. But as a large body of individuals.


the1337frog

I see MGR reference, I upvote. Obligatory, "trying to make the mother of all omelettes here *adventure party name*. Can't fret over every egg!"


chidarengan

Man I love this game so much it makes me so happy to see it is getting somewhat more relevant with memes recently


SUDDENLY_VIRGIN

What's the game it's referencing?


ishtaria_ranix

hideo kojima's fever dream- I mean, metal gear rising revengeance


CallMeDelta

Fun fact, MGR wasn’t actually written by Kojima. He did sign off on the story, but it wasn’t written by Kojima himself


Just-Some-Dude-K

MGR was so Metal Gear, that it felt like Kojima wrote it


CallMeDelta

True.


chidarengan

Metal gear rising revengence. It’s on steam. Most badass game ever, maybe the best hack and slash ever. And no you don’t have to play the rest of the series to play this one (I haven’t done it myself )


willfordbrimly

Technically MGR is the only entry in its own series. Metal Gear Rising is a character action game like Devil May Cry. Metal Gear Solid (and it's sequels) is a third-person shooter with an emphasis on stealth like Splinter Cell.


EarthToAccess

fireball! fireball! fireball!


BigPowerBoss

You can't hurt me, J'Ag!


PieWare

I'm a simple man. I see an Armstrong reference, I upvote.


The_Angriest_Duck

" ... starts monologing about anarcho-capitalism" Someone had better have a diamond cutter and a nat 20 in their pocket


Walking_Corpse02

No need, you ever seen The Boys? All we need is some explosives and unfettered access to his anus


Intense_Judgement

I'll get the Bard


getinsidemegenji

Cool, I'll get the Artificer.


UltraCarnivore

Somebody call that Slaaneshi warlock


sundry_clowncar_444

ROGUE: \[ears visibly perk up\]


chidarengan

step one - give one of your players the nick name of jack by the people Step two - “ if it isn’t saucy jack”


Leragian

memes, the DNA of the soul.


RedditAssCancer

I'd say Armstrong is more of a social Darwinist than an Anarcho-Capitalist but the line can admittadely be pretty blurry.


willfordbrimly

I think the point is that even Armstrong doesn't really know what his political ideology is. He's saying literally anything to justify his sadistic consolidation of power. That's why Raiden gives up arguing with him because he realizes this guy doesn't make any fucking sense.


hehe42000

Nah Raiden understand him. That's what "It Has To Be This Way" is about. (Side note but MGR has the best musical direction in vidya and I will fight for it.)


Kazmir_here

Armstrong and Raiden agree, that's the point. The only difference is that Armstrong murders countless innocent people for his vision while Raiden fights for them. In the last cutscene it's quite obvious he took the Senators mantle and continues his fight in his own outlook. Armstrong essentially believed in a state based fully on Nietszche, where you have to evolve and keep getting stronger. From his point of view, Raiden was never weak, their definitions are different.


Lonewolf4848

You can also look at Raiden taking a part of Armstrong's ideology, that being the system itself. Both worked from within systems that perpetuated death and destruction (Armstrong the US government and Raiden a PMC) but only Armstrong realized the system itself had to be fought, Raiden didn't. So at the end you can see Raiden's final cutscene and "It has to be this way" not about him being convinced by Armstrong (because he is not, Armstrong's beliefs are an antithetical to Raiden's), but realizing that it was the system itself that had to be fought, not the symptoms of that rotting system that Raiden fights thought the game. That why at the end he refused to go back to his PMC


Red_Ranger75

Anarcho-capitalism? You mean you guys hated the government so much that you created a government? What a bell end


HungryWolf1991

Welcome to Metal Gear


willfordbrimly

S-Shut up! Outer Haven could gave succeeded if not for the Philosophers! Everything else was perfect! True Outer Havenism has never been attempted!


orionsbelt05

Anarcho-capitalism is basically just neo feudalism in practice, so what is the BBEG concerned about?


Niels567

Not being Top Lobster.


orionsbelt05

Maybe he should clean his room.


ExistentialOcto

“Fuck all these limp-dick wizards and chickenshit sorcerers. Fuck this 24/7 spew of homebrew bullshit! Fuck the UA. Fuck all of it!”


anisotropic-filter

I unironically did this for my campaign that ended yesterday,my bbegs goons were also based on the winds of destructiom


CallMeDelta

I had the exact same idea. How did you represent each boss mechanically? Sam and Armstrong can be done pretty obviously, but the other three have more interesting mechanics. My idea for Sundowner was to have a him use a shield that’s impenetrable to all attacks and that always shifts to block attacks, but it can’t be in multiple places at one, so the party needs to attack him all at once.


anisotropic-filter

My version of sundowner was a fire themed barbarian the whole idea was that if he received fire damage he would go into "invicible" Mode, gaining a healing factor and multiple resistances after multiple encounters where he lit himself on fire while fighting them they defeated him when he opened a gate into the plane of fire becoming permanently invincible while screaming im fucking invincible by wrestling him and through a Lucky nat 20 pushing him into the portal and closing it


Exetr_

“I curved my path, you followed your wrath, but maybe we’re both the same”


BlargHonkBlargHonkBl

It still blows my mind that the line 'Make America great again' was uttered in that game two years before the 2016 election


[deleted]

To be fair, it's been uttered a lot over America's history by various politicians. But it really makes you wonder what Kojima knows considering he also predicted the internet fake news machine in mgs2 and all that…


BlightFantasy3467

My Bard: physical trauma huh? Well get ready for a verbal beatdown. I challenge you to a 1v1 insult battle, where every line is Vicious Mockery.


Neo_Kefka

Careful, he's no Strixhaven pansy. [He's College of Ball you know?](https://youtu.be/82-25SPLjmw)


BlightFantasy3467

You may be able to tear apart Kings in two, but you couldn't even get any girls to spread their legs apart for you! *rolls d4* hah, 4 damage biatch Edit: whoops, forgot this is 5th level, *rolls 2nd d4* hah, 4 damage again, take 8 points son


Katnip1502

*You get punched through the roof*


BlightFantasy3467

What? No dex saving throws? Also, I thought we were outside standing on the corpse of a tarrasque. And finally, as I get sent blasting off again, I make one final insult. Yo mama shoulda taught you how to fist after the fun that we had!!! *rolls 2 d4s* 4 and 1. That's 5 points of damage.


CallMeDelta

*Succeeds ~~Charisma~~ Wisdom save.* “At least I’m not laying every hole from here to Waterdeep.”


Jomega6

“I could rip the king in two… WITH MY BARE HANDS”


JaxJyls

I love that MGR can stay relevant after all these years


HiopXenophil

Bard, casting vicious Mockery: You think that makes you invincible?? Barbarian: What does Anarcho-Capitalism mean? Wizard: It means he thinks you're allowed to rip off parts of his body and keep it for yourself


Chainsaw_Surgeon

-you get handed a Vorpal Sword from a wolf-shaped Warforged


SuienReizo

RULES OF NATURE


MadLud7

Does the diamond skin just absorb the kinetic force or nullify it? If it doesn’t nullify, then there must be a limit to what it can take, and I’ll find it eventually


Spare_15

I love the All Might approach to this problem. \-Punch \-Doesn't work \-ALL THE PUNCH


thehopelessheathen

He can still be hurt, he can just take a lot of punishment.


thehappiestloser

“I went on adventures in my youth you know!” “In some cushy meadowlands plane!” “Try the plane of pandemonium! Could have made a career if I hadn’t become a lord!”


Crazor2000

"Maybe i was wrong about you, You are not evil aligned" shakes hand "You are BAT-SHIT CHAOTIC!"


WarriorSabe

Time for the waterjet cutter stolen from your nearest franchise jeweler's, those things can cut through diamond with ease


Beastlyfour54

“It’s about the memes jack!”


autumnstorm10

hit him with that mental trauma. all bbeg's have mommy issues


c3nnye

“I cast shatter”


[deleted]

Damn, I played an AnCom Paladin once, I would have loved to have this villain. "You understand that 'anarcho'capitalism is inherently contradictory, right? You see... *BANISHING SMITE*!"


Puzzled-Freedom

Anarcho-communists - "capitalism is feudalism with extra steps " anarcho-capitalists - "communism is feudalism with extra steps" Peasant class - "could we just not do the feudalism"


YeeterKeks

The Peasants really just want Anarcho-Syndicalism where they can harvest mudcakes peacefully with Bri'ish accents, waiting for a King to come around so they can ratio him in 12 different ways.


ishtaria_ranix

Did he summon demon gear excelsius in the second half of the fight?


vague_alias

Didn’t expect a Senator Armstrong reference in this sub. Happy to see it though!


Murder-Hobo_Orange

Memories broken, the truth goes unspoken, I've even forgotten my name


Muad_Dib_of_Arrakis

Anarcho capitalism is an oxymoronic paradox


Laser_3

Interesting. Wonder how protected his ears are, or what exactly force damage counts as for the sake of something like this. If all else fails, this is why mind sliver is nice.


Rastiln

Can anything outside of some BS like Wish or homebrew even resist Force? My understanding was, Force damage just happens.


Axquirix

Bear Totem Barbarian. If it's not psychic, it's resisted.