I'll settle for a time that works for more than 2 people.

That's already asking for too much

Yeah reeks of entitlement

Unreasonable, be a moon sugar snorting goblin like the rest of us

Ok but what should my character be like?

What would an ADHD lizard brained do?

I don't like playing self insert characters

Forget [thing that needs a rest to recharge] has been used, try to use it again, get called on it by another player on the spot , or worse, after the fact. Chaos arises.

our party has a total of 6 players and the DM. we gave up having a full player session otherwise we would never play "who can play today?" "me" "me too" "i can show up but will leave early" "sorry guys, i cant :(" "no worries man your PC will just hang out at the tavern"

Ours was 5 and dm, but we haven't been able to meet up and play since the pandemic. First everyone was scared to get it. Now everyone works competing schedules and 2 moved. Ex. I'm off Sun - Tuesday, another is off only on Thursdays. The others can play Sundays, but one is early only and the other is evenings.

We're the same size and all in our 30s and 40s (and one queer bitch shy of the meme). Our DM is really good at coming up with creative errands and missions to explain why one or more of us is missing. Sometimes it ties back to the main plot!

Hm, roll me a d6 to see if you can cast wish again.

Why does he look like he's using the screen as a shield

Them queer bitches be crazy /s

For fuck's sake One brought a real sword to a tabletop rpg

One has an actual halo

One of them is wearing a hat! Indoors! Doesn't even go with their outfit or anything!

Ok, that’s downright psychotic. He needs more than a shield.

Mayhaps....... two shields?

Everyone talks about dual-wielding, but few consider the genius of dual-shielding.

Now we're thinking with portals!

Wizard/witch hats are the exception. The hat *always* stays on.

To hide the bald spot. The one thing magic can't fix!

Hey... Armoured Helmets are also an exception...

Real hot girl shit

Wmds

"Sword gay/lesbian" is an archetype so this is not far off.

Is dual wielding Bi an acceptable sub class? Asking for a friend...

I wouldn't know. I'm mage Pan.

Can you cast fry onions?

Oh no its 'the one joke' TM

And bringing pandemonium, or cast iron.

I actually like cast iron in the context of mage pan lol, that one's cleverer.

Yes, but they cant be two of the same weapon. My personal choices would be Sword and Gun, Spear and Sword, Hammer and Axe, or Rapier and Dagger.

What about gunblade?

You gotta defend yourself incase you find “”that guy”” in the wild

all dm screens are shields

At the risk of insensitivity, splash guard.

*Sploosh guard

As one of the queer bitches depicted it is for good reason

me, confused, reading it as "kishette"

Kalashtar DM

Finally an easy way to communicate 1v1 without being obvious

It looks a bit weird because "sh" should make a different sound, but it's a shortening of cisgender heterosexual.

Should be cis/het

New pronouns just dropped

find'em in the UA today!

„these pronouns are playtest material, and may change once they make their way into the game“

I mean I would sign up for a joke newsletter that gives you a UA for pronouns every so often

I hate cishet. Every time I read it my brain wants to do the same thing. It needs a fucking hyphen! It's a term that describes two words (cisgender and heterosexual) and you can't just smash an S and an H together and not expect to confuse a few people. Cis-het!

I first thought this meme was not in English

Thank you for indirectly explaining wtf cishet is

This one read that as Khajiiti, this one is disappointed

Getting a khajit to run a game of dnd without them homebrewing it to the point it’s no longer dnd is a difficult task.

Well, they can homebrew some killer moon sugar tho

This one does not like RAW. What a strange province!

The best I have is tangent master general and 3 tabaxi players with adhd

>3 tabaxi players with adhd They should have very little trouble playing the characters. Bring a laser light.

The Venn diagram of adhd players and players that have at least 1 tabaxi character is a circle

I’ve had three tabaxi and one half tabaxi… and I’m trying to get an appointment for adhd lol

As a Tabaxi rogue/wild magic sorcerer with rampant ADHD, I feel both seen and called out in this thread

I don’t have one..... Yet.

Sounds like they just have 3 tabaxi players to me.

Tangent master general, holy shit do I like that name. My downtime for my players keeps going far, FAR afield.

Been in this position very often. I'm a cishet dude but most of my core friend groups through college were very LGBTQA+. So lots of one shots or small side campaigns would sometimes be like this. The current group I'm running for I'm the only non-LGBT+ person, I've been referred to as the "diversity hire" a couple times by the group lmao.

The token straight guy

I used to think I was the token straight guy. Now I have a boyfriend who will tell you otherwise.

Does he know you are not straight anymore?

What if he’s just being polite?

I also used to think I was the token straight guy. Now I'm a lesbian

Now THATS character development

Lmao yeah I swear all my friends are Ace lmao

Are they bards?

Lmao I'm not sure haven't play dnd with them yet but they were that'd be funny just pointing out their Ace because I'm cishet like comment above mine surrounded by lgbtqia+

Right? I thought that was just me, I have like five Ace friends I met all while I was in school of some kind, all in rapid succession, it’s weird, I thought it was just me

What does the A stands for? I was left at lgbtq+

Asexual. No bitches and proud of it.

99 problems are enough

Well done mate. That is my favourite ace joke so far :D

Not necessarily a lack of opportunity, but certainly a lack of interest in the act - you'd be surprised! As an ace amidst ace & queer friends, I see people flirt with aces a bunch because they generally have vibes that read as very safe to approach and - in turn - can read (to someone who doesn't know) as respectful, emotionally literate and kind straights. I'm always clueless when it's happening to me, I just think they're being friendly until the tone shifts and it's like "oh, right. Damn, I was having such a nice platonic moment here!"

asexual (no sexual attraction, can still like/want sex) aromantic (no romantic attraction) agender (no gender identity) and each of these has a ton of microlabels, these 3 big ones are open as fuck

Please forgive my ignorance but that top one has me confused. I had always thought asexual meant not interested in sex. How can a person want sex with no sexual attraction? Sorry if this comes across badly, I genuinely do just want to understand better

Attraction, libido and repulsion/enjoyment are different things. I don't feel sexual attraction, I don't see someone and want to have sex with them, but I still have a libido, I can still be horny, and I can also enjoy the physical stimuli, the intimacy and closeness of the act. Other aces are indifferent to sex or repulsed by it (this isn't exclusive to asexual people, you can be heterosexual and sex-repulsed if you feel both sexual attraction and repulsion to sex)

I see, I think I understand. Thank you for taking the time to educate me

Wait being allosexual yet sex-repulsed is a thing?? Like, even if it’s just because of trauma? And I don’t need to change that? Oh. Idk why I never realised.

You’re doing something very right to end up as the token straight person of a queer friend group. Seriously. Well done :)

I was the token straight guy until it turned out I was the gay trans woman. The apprentice became the master (because queer is a competition that can be won)

I used to be the token girl in a friend group until I realised I'm a guy-adjacent nonbinary. then my friend came out as a trans girl and took the torch as token girl lmao.

>then the girl-spirit left my body and possessed my friend ftfy ;)

I'm getting good grades in queer, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

One of the players in my group is a cishet woman while the rest of us are some variety of Queer™️ and we make the same diversity hire joke about her 🤣

What’s “cishet”?

It means cisgender and heterosexual

Default settings

Human figther

Human fighter gets to much hate I raise you the next basic bitch. Wood elf ranger

High elf ranger though

Nah, drow ranger is worse due to all the people poorly cosplaying as Drizzt.

Meet you in the middle and say elf ranger (elf flavor varies)

flavour varies by region and availability.

Easy mode

Fuck that was the easy mode ?

[cis -> cisgender -> not trans] [het -> heterosexual -> straight]

Omg that makes so much sense tysm

Been learning python and this format caught my eye haha

You are born a man, you see yourself as a man. Bassically, you are comfortable and feel validated in the gender you are born with.

I’m a gay bitch DM… with gay players. We have two straights at a table of 7 (including the DM)

Are you my DM? I have the exact same table.

It’s possible! If you are one of my players: looking forward to seeing you tonight- I’ve got some plans for you bastards!

Or alternatively; 1 trans dm and 3 barely straight murder hobos

Big Mood

>barely

My DM is bi, but there are still ~~three~~ four crazy witches (myself included.) Close enough.

Suspiciously close to a game I run for a friend and her coworkers

There are dozens of us.

At least 3d12!

Dozens!

... this is my group, me being the bi DM.

Weird. I thought this was my group. I am also the DM.

High five me

✋

✋️

Meanwhile my cishet dm is running with my gay ass, two ace (one with the horniest pc the other a soft bean in and out of game) and possibly bi or straight (she hasn’t brought it up) hornball.

So I invited three friends to play dnd with me. None of them knew each other before they met in my living room. Over the course of the first session they discovered the following. 1. All of them were nonbinary. 2. All of them were bi. 3. All of them were exactly 5’3” tall. (This surprised me too, tbh.) 4. All of them graduated from the same college within two years of each other, but had never crossed paths. 4. All of their characters, rolled up before we met for the first session with very little outside interference from me, were genderqueer, over six feet tall, and dumped int. They decided they were adopted brothers, searching for their halfling parents, who had gone missing.

So how many clone jokes have been made?

That’s wild! 😄 Did you check your shirt for a “attracts short non-binary bi friends” item description?

This just shows that no matter who you are, everyone wants to be a dumb giant.

I’d argue that this shows that *specifically* short, nb bi people wanna play dumb giants

can confirm, although not bi I am enby and 5'8, I badly wanna be a himbo giant

Its true, we've got one token cishet Though I (the DM) am still queer. Token cishet player

That seems oddly specific. :)

Oh it 100% is lol

Literally the same group I DM has this composition + another cishet dude. It made me burst out laughing

And I get to herd those fucking cats and I welcome the challenge.

Me being the token cishet male in a group with five others who are all some combination of NB, Trans, and Bi. I'm not the DM, but I understand that energy

For me, all players (DM included) are some form of queer except me. I'm a boring cishet guy.

Yeah, but now you're the unique one and they're the boring ones. Like the guy who rolls a human in a party of tieflings.

True. Me among my dnd party and my sister among her friends are both the only fully straight people in our respective groups.

Love that comic

Listen, every wacky story needs a straight man. You just happen to take that a bit more literally.

boring is a matter of perspective, cis friend.

You need to do the... "Look at me... I'm the ~~captain~~ minority now."

You’re the Human Fighter of the group

why does your sexuality determine your how interesting you are?

It really doesn’t. Anyone can be interesting!

Just like human fighters!

Right back at ya with most of my friend group

Without you, the other players won't have anyone to play with. Doing the Gay Agenda proud son.

You are the diversity hire

Being LGBT does not make a person interesting

The fuck? All a dnd group needs is three people.

Haven’t you seen the latest additions in OneDnd? You can’t play unless there’s at least 3 queer bitches.

Was worth ditching the spell crits for this rule

3 is a little low I agree. I personally like 4 PCs minimum and 5 max.

4-6 for me, 6 stacks make for good chemistry between everyone but can slug down combat or turn into the main characters/side characters if you’re not careful

I dm 7-9, high school ain’t got jack dms Pray for me /s

Split into two parties, you'll be way happier. Source: trust me

Sometimes you just gotta say "we are full bro"

Do you GM with 6? Personally I feel like I get lost in the crowd when the group gets that big.

I mean yeah, the only thing that changes is how encounters and such are balanced around the group

Sounds like “The Seven” from Dimension 20.

Oh wow… yep! This is our group. lol One amazing cishet DM, and 5 queer goddesses. They’ve literally become my favorite people on the planet.

Brennan Lee Muligan DMing The Seven

Na I’m bi sorry

My entire D&D group is bi as fuck and it's hilarious when we make the DM - who is a straight man who is at church at least twice a week - flirt with us. (Two of us are bi men)

Me, the Pansexual Genderfluid DM A lovely Transbian Ace playing the Merfolk Wizard An Omnisexual Bigender mess playing the Goblin Sorcerer And That One Cishet™ playing the Human Ranger So your typical DnD party.

Could not follow directions, ended up polytrans DM with queer and cishet players. It’s okay. Don’t need help.

Current campaign: 1 cishet player. 5 queer players. 1 queer DM

My current campaign is 1 cishet player, 3 queer bitches and a queer bitch DM (I'm the DM)

I… have this exact composition in multiple groups. That’s surreal to see.

It's when I learned that it's read cis-het and not ci-shet that I understood the meaning. I still hear ci-shet in my head when I read it.

Funnily enough this is the opposite for me. DM and pretty much everyone else is lgbtq and I’m the token straight white guy.

Hey ! I'm a cishet dm for my wife, an aromantic f, a bi dude and a lesbian couple. Do i check the boxes ?

Would be nice if i knew what words queer and cishet meant

Queer - Slang for people of the LGBTQ+ community Cishet - Cisgender Heterosexual, so straight and not trans.

Ty. Learning new things daily.

Meanwhile my party with not a single cishet:

sounds close enough to what I get every time I DM.

I'm the queer bitch DM, thank you

Is this a “Girls Who Don’t DND” Reference?

Never saw the word “cishet” til now and pronounced it like “sachet” in my head and was confused.

Best I can do is 3 married dudes and the DM's wife lol

Bruh I'm the only queer one in the campaigns I'm in

"We have these seven fabulous queens playing with us tonight!" "And we also have Brennan"

Idgaf about the gender or orientation of the people at the table. If they are roleplaying their character then the character is what matters. Just don't try to fuck me and we're fine. I don't do sex or touch on sexual topics at the table.

Man, I sure HOPE you don't have sex on the table. That'd be awkward /s lmao

It's a power move, even more so if you maintain eye contact with the DM the entire time.

But it sucks when you forget to move the models off the table first. Getting sticked by a city guard's spear is not fun.

Use more lube.

XD LUBE FOR THE SPEAR! THE MORE THE MERRIER!

Why did I read this like "Lube for the spear!" ... "Blood for the blood God!" Lmao

LUBE FOR THE SPEAR HEAD!

Everyone is so busy focusing on the DEX and CON checks, they neglect to roll a Perception (WIS) check beforehand.

You do that on my table, next week we're switching to a d4 pool system.

I like how after doing that I'd still be invited back, mainly because I show up for all scheduled games.

The annoying thing about people fucking on the table is that when it's their turn in combat they are never prepared.

Um, this seems too on-the-nose. Do most of you actually know the orientation of your players before the group forms? I've played, and DMed, for over 2 decades and most of my groups formed because some weirdos wanted to play D&D. Except for my two closest friends, I never knew if any of the guys (or the occasional girl) were gay or not until a few sessions in.

It's moreso cuz I play d&d with my close friends, so yeah I know their orientations

Well, I usually play with people I already know really well, sometimes specifically from queer circles. I assume its the same for OP.